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Portal 2
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All right. I’m bringing this farce to a close.
Listens:
384
Who:
GLaDOS
Turrets!
Listens:
426
Who:
Wheatley
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
5404
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, it is GREAT seeing you guys again. Seriously. It turns out I'm a little short on test subjects right now. So this works out PERFECT.
Listens:
431
Who:
Wheatley
Watch and learn, everybody. Watch and learn.
Listens:
444
Who:
Defective Turret
Could a MORON PUNCH! YOU! INTO! THIS! PIT? Huh? Could a moron do THAT?
Listens:
5422
Who:
Wheatley
That poster! Go look at it for a second, would you?
Listens:
680
Who:
GLaDOS
If the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from space-debris DOES NOT appear to be a deliberate part of the test.
Listens:
1913
Who:
Announcer
The Space Sphere will never go to space.
Listens:
18097
Who:
Core 3
SOLVE IT! Commanding voice...
Listens:
789
Who:
Wheatley
After seeing what he's done to my facility -- after we take over again -- is it alright if I kill him?
Listens:
480
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going. Going to space.
Listens:
1012
Who:
Core 1
Yes.
Listens:
625
Who:
GLaDOS
Crap!
Listens:
1228
Who:
Defective Turret
If your confidence is still not high enough remember no one was created perfect.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
If you can't complete this course, those humans will die. Do you want that in your memory banks?
Listens:
315
Who:
GLaDOS
This is the main breaker room.
Listens:
372
Who:
Wheatley
That worked just like you said it would, Blue.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
Over there is where they used to keep the old neurotoxin release button. BIG responsibility, the guy in charge of the neurotoxin release button. And guess who he WAS? He wasn't me. But I was his assistant, and I did a lot of his admin.
Listens:
793
Who:
Wheatley
That is not part of the test.
Listens:
387
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, brilliant, yeah. Take one last look at your precious human moon. Because it cannot help you now!
Listens:
2516
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, I'm pulling you out.
Listens:
745
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center. You have unlocked all available courses.
Listens:
3060
Who:
Announcer
So twisty you might even call it spinning. MOO HOO HA HA HA Ignore the laughter. Nothing to worry about.
Listens:
1299
Who:
Wheatley
Go on.
Listens:
359
Who:
Wheatley
I've been really busy being dead. You know, after you MURDERED ME.
Listens:
7974
Who:
GLaDOS
To initiate a core transfer, please deposit substitute core in receptacle.
Listens:
1346
Who:
Announcer
NOT a team player.
Listens:
526
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
592
Who:
Defective Turret
The portal will open and something will happen that Subject Orange is too smart to need any instructions about in three. Two. One.
Listens:
418
Who:
GLaDOS
Dispensing product
Listens:
1656
Who:
Turret
I’ll just save the safety information about the dangerous experiment you’re about to do for AFTER the experiment.
Listens:
491
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm not defective!
Listens:
1417
Who:
Defective Turret
Technical... Ummm... You'll need to turn around while I do this.
Listens:
419
Who:
Wheatley
Startles easily. Boo!
Listens:
537
Who:
GLaDOS
Wait! I've got an idea!
Listens:
406
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, get moving.
Listens:
317
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh, no. The turbines again. I have to go. Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version.
Listens:
1063
Who:
GLaDOS
GET IN!
Listens:
320
Who:
Wheatley
The first person to prove that cow's milk is drinkable was very, very thirsty.
Listens:
4423
Who:
Core 3
We're still doing science sir.
Listens:
1940
Who:
Caroline
Come on. Ohhhh. Hit me with it.
Listens:
603
Who:
Wheatley
If you are a non-employee who has discovered this facility amid the ruins of civilization, welcome! And remember: Testing is the future, and the future starts with you.
Listens:
3486
Who:
Announcer
OW!
Listens:
437
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is a good sphere, with many friends.
Listens:
815
Who:
Core 3
And it almost killed me.
Listens:
466
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, I see you, and no, I don't care.
Listens:
5357
Who:
GLaDOS
So that's a complete reassembly. New vitals. Spit-shine on the old ones. Plus we're scooping out tumors. Frankly, you oughtta be paying us.
Listens:
1716
Who:
Cave Johnson
Ha ha! Gotcha right where I want ya!
Listens:
703
Who:
Defective Turret
Orange, how well do you really know Blue? Do you trust Blue?
Listens:
320
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
1124
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't you DARE plug him in.
Listens:
670
Who:
GLaDOS
Old.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
You are the farthest ever in space. Why me, space? Because you are the best. I'm the best at space? Yes.
Listens:
21918
Who:
Core 1
Sorry I missed the beginning of that test. I was just talking with the reassembly machine about your becoming human.
Listens:
392
Who:
GLaDOS
What do you think?
Listens:
1376
Who:
Wheatley
You have to get to the catwalk behind me!
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
He's not just a regular moron. He's the product of the greatest minds of a generation working together with the express purpose of building the dumbest moron who ever lived. And you just put him in charge of the entire facility.
Listens:
29946
Who:
GLaDOS
Blabbermouth.
Listens:
459
Who:
GLaDOS
Hi?
Listens:
896
Who:
Turret
I am going to risk having you go outside the official courses one more time.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, I agree. I never noticed that about Blue before.
Listens:
294
Who:
GLaDOS
Didn't even get to the good part yet. Twist ending.
Listens:
631
Who:
Wheatley
Just glass. Transparent. Smooth. Not going to hurt you. Have a look.
Listens:
350
Who:
Wheatley
Did you know we originally used these cameras to capture moments of intense pain and agony in test subjects?
Listens:
321
Who:
GLaDOS
Pleased to meetcha.
Listens:
963
Who:
Defective Turret
With humans, I would have called that a successful test.
Listens:
293
Who:
GLaDOS
Estás usando este software de traducción de forma incorrecta. Por favor, consulta el manual.
Listens:
7407
Who:
Wheatley
This is trouble.
Listens:
942
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey! How's it going? Here I am again!
Listens:
355
Who:
Wheatley
This close and you are going to fail me?
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
You ever notice how nobody stops what they're doing to listen? We don't care.
Listens:
597
Who:
Core 2
Congratulations on completing that last test. But I find something troubling.
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
Huh. That was easy.
Listens:
346
Who:
Wheatley
The upcoming tests require you to work together as a team.
Listens:
383
Who:
GLaDOS
I know your cores are reused from calculation machines, built for simple mathematical operations and not for testing, but if we can rescue the humans I promise you something to add maybe even subtract.
Listens:
550
Who:
GLaDOS
It would be pointless for either of us to hurt Blue’s feelings. But it’s clear to everyone monitoring the test who’s carrying who here.
Listens:
565
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m sorry, Subject Orange.
Listens:
458
Who:
GLaDOS
Resting
Listens:
687
Who:
Turret
You have been a thorn in my side long enough!
Listens:
855
Who:
Wheatley
This body is amazing, seriously!
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
Nothing. Nothing.
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
You seem to have defeated its load-bearing capacity. Well done. I'll just lower the ceiling.
Listens:
552
Who:
GLaDOS
Baking Soda Volcano. Well, at least it's not a potato battery, I'll give it that. Still not terrifically original, though. Not exactly primary research, even within the child sciences.
Listens:
1071
Who:
Wheatley
Are you still there? Can you pick me up, do you think? If you are there?
Listens:
2619
Who:
Wheatley
The likelihood of you dying violently within the next five minutes is eighty-seven point six one percent.
Listens:
1464
Who:
Core 3
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha
Listens:
1275
Who:
Defective Turret
To maintain a constant testing cycle, I simulate daylight at all hours and add adrenal vapor to your oxygen supply. So you may be confused about the passage of time. The point is, yesterday was your birthday. I thought you'd want to know.
Listens:
3735
Who:
GLaDOS
The testing area's just up ahead. The quicker you get through, the quicker you'll get your sixty bucks.
Listens:
1008
Who:
Cave Johnson
Game over. Back to testing.
Listens:
768
Who:
GLaDOS
Unlike us, humans need to be taught teamwork.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
Never listens.
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
Press it!
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
Lady.
Listens:
649
Who:
Core 1
No, that's right. Over by the podium, yeah.
Listens:
312
Who:
Wheatley
You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello?
Listens:
801
Who:
Wheatley
You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you cutting that out.
Listens:
454
Who:
GLaDOS
Still running. Alright. Looks tiring. Tell you what - you stop running and I'll stop bombing you... That seems fair.
Listens:
514
Who:
Wheatley
I don't want to drive a wedge between the two of you, but I've been studying Blue's performance, and I don't know how to put this... I'm certain you're trying very hard.
Listens:
1050
Who:
GLaDOS
It didn't matter to me - I was in it for the science. Him, though...
Listens:
566
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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