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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Miss you!
Listens:
765
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, safe travels, there.
Listens:
394
Who:
Defective Turret
And check this out! I'm a bloody genius now!
Listens:
708
Who:
Wheatley
Here we are. The Incinerator Room. Be careful not to trip over any parts of me that didn't get completely burned when you threw them down here.
Listens:
858
Who:
GLaDOS
See you at the bottom. Good luck!
Listens:
319
Who:
Wheatley
Please get it off me.
Listens:
546
Who:
GLaDOS
Using your ping tool, please indicate where you would like me to place your two portals. Ping each location.
Listens:
429
Who:
GLaDOS
Be a shame to miss it, wouldn't it? Just for the old neurotoxin. Neurotoxin will still be here tomorrow. Whereas that bird will be gone any minute. Already got one talon off the branch. Gonna be gone.
Listens:
641
Who:
Wheatley
The Mexican-American War ended in 1848 with the signing of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo.
Listens:
599
Who:
Core 3
Not bad. I forgot how good you are at this. You should pace yourself, though. We have A LOT of tests to do.
Listens:
2473
Who:
GLaDOS
Not so fast!
Listens:
591
Who:
GLaDOS
Blah.
Listens:
1993
Who:
GLaDOS
If we're lucky, she won't find out all her turrets are crap until it's too late. [laughs] Classic.
Listens:
637
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, listen, we should get our stories straight, alright? If anyone asks -- and no one's gonna ask, don't worry -- but if anyone asks, tell them as far as you know, the last time you checked, everyone looked pretty much alive. Alright? Not dead.
Listens:
1107
Who:
Wheatley
We haven't entirely nailed down what element it is yet, but I'll tell you this: it's a lively one, and it does NOT like the human skeleton.
Listens:
2551
Who:
Cave Johnson
No, wait, wait!
Listens:
577
Who:
Defective Turret
Commence standing by in three. Two. One.
Listens:
383
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello.
Listens:
2907
Who:
Defective Turret
Do it!
Listens:
497
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, it will. Believe me, it will.
Listens:
1786
Who:
GLaDOS
Always cold.
Listens:
301
Who:
GLaDOS
Come closer.
Listens:
685
Who:
Turret
I'm going through the list of test subjects in cryogenic storage. I managed to find two with your last name. A man and a woman. So that's interesting. It's a small world.
Listens:
589
Who:
GLaDOS
Right. Let's figure out how to stop this turret line...
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I tried. Best of luck!
Listens:
507
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue is first to acquire a Portal Device.
Listens:
390
Who:
GLaDOS
I should congratulate you, by the way. I didn't actually think you'd make such a worthy opponent. Weren't you supposed to be brain damaged or something? yeah, brain damaged like a fox.
Listens:
1904
Who:
Wheatley
Owwww!
Listens:
989
Who:
Turret
I’m flyinnnng!
Listens:
2526
Who:
Turret
Goodbye, sir.
Listens:
3999
Who:
GLaDOS
Frequent mood swings.
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
[beep] Sarcasm Self Test complete. [beep]
Listens:
313407
Who:
Announcer
Oh, I almost forgot, when you go outside the testing courses the only way I can retrieve you is to violently disassemble and then carefully reassemble you.
Listens:
624
Who:
GLaDOS
Please note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it.
Listens:
1065
Who:
Announcer
Follow me! You're gonna love this.
Listens:
427
Who:
Wheatley
Almost there...
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. Play it cool. Play it cool. Here come the space cops.
Listens:
5229
Who:
Core 1
Hold on. Couldn't we just use that conversion gel?
Listens:
448
Who:
GLaDOS
Help! Being squished!
Listens:
1382
Who:
Turret
OW!
Listens:
437
Who:
Wheatley
Wanna go home wanna go home wanna go home wanna go home.
Listens:
1300
Who:
Core 1
Good news. I figured out what to do with all the money I save recycling your one roomful of air. When you die, I'm going to laminate your skeleton and pose you in the lobby. That way future generations can learn from you how not to have your unfortunate bone structure.
Listens:
1465
Who:
GLaDOS
Have I ever told you the qualities I love most in you? In order: Number one: resolving things, love the ways you resolve things. Particularly disputes. Number one, tied: Button-pushing. Two things I love about you: Button pushing and the ability to resolve things. Chiefly disputes.
Listens:
722
Who:
Wheatley
It's healthy for you to have other friends. To look for qualities in other people that I obviously lack.
Listens:
579
Who:
GLaDOS
Now, we just need you to release the humans from their imprisonment.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
Your destination's probably not going to come meet us here. Is it? So go on.
Listens:
285
Who:
Wheatley
Never completes work.
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey.
Listens:
683
Who:
Core 1
Be honest. You can't even tell, can you? Seamless.
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations. I am sure if I had the time to repair these tests, you would have never completed them. So again, congratulations on completing the broken easy tests.
Listens:
502
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, how well do you really know Orange? Do you trust Orange? What if I told you, you aren't Orange's first cooperative partner?
Listens:
465
Who:
GLaDOS
Credit where credit's due: you're both doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
466
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you scared to save those humans?
Listens:
290
Who:
GLaDOS
Your ping tool is invaluable for communicating specific locations to your partner.
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
Prometheus was punished by the gods for giving the gift of knowledge to man. He was cast into the bowels of the earth and pecked by birds.
Listens:
44530
Who:
Turret
You need to be a trained stalemate associate to press that button. You're unqualified.
Listens:
1097
Who:
GLaDOS
We've had some times, haven't we? Like that time I jumped off my management rail, not sure if I'd die or not when I did, and all you had to do was catch me? Annnd you didn't. Did you? Ohhhh. You remember that? I remember that. I remember that all the time.
Listens:
881
Who:
Wheatley
[Whispered] For the record: You ARE adopted, and that's TERRIBLE.
Listens:
4050
Who:
GLaDOS
A nanosecond lasts one billionth of a second.
Listens:
555
Who:
Core 3
I'm sorry. The arrows seem to have rusted off. Good luck.
Listens:
906
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue is penalized
Listens:
425
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
647
Who:
Defective Turret
I know we're in a lot of trouble and probably about to die.
Listens:
444
Who:
GLaDOS
Um.
Listens:
537
Who:
Defective Turret
Well. Have fun soaring through the air without a care in the world.
Listens:
660
Who:
GLaDOS
You know how I'm going to live forever, but you're going to be dead in sixty years? Well, I've been working on a belated birthday present for you. Well... more of a belated birthday medical procedure. Well. Technically, it's a medical EXPERIMENT. What's important is, it's a present.
Listens:
3046
Who:
GLaDOS
Do something only a human would do.
Listens:
450
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you... are you sure you're solving these correctly?
Listens:
324
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, look, okay, I'll be honest. You're the LAST test subject left. And if you DON'T help me, we're both going to die. Alright? I didn't want to say it, you dragged it out of me. Alright? Dead. Dos Muerte.
Listens:
598
Who:
Wheatley
Blah.
Listens:
1018
Who:
GLaDOS
Crap!
Listens:
1228
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, you passed the test. I didn't see the deer today. I did see some humans. But with you here I've got more test subjects than I'll ever need.
Listens:
882
Who:
GLaDOS
It's your old friend, deadly neurotoxin. If I were you, I'd take a deep breath. And hold it.
Listens:
6540
Who:
GLaDOS
Come on, you've already solved it.
Listens:
648
Who:
Wheatley
Hello.
Listens:
945
Who:
Wheatley
Yes it is! We can use it to get out of here!
Listens:
311
Who:
GLaDOS
Bad news is we're postponing those tests indefinitely. Good news is we've got a much better test for you: fighting an army of mantis men. Pick up a rifle and follow the yellow line. You'll know when the test starts.
Listens:
18826
Who:
Cave Johnson
But not entirely my fault! You shoulda seen the SIZE of that thing, it was huge! I should have gotten a raise for all the times I DIDN'T bump into it.
Listens:
418
Who:
Wheatley
I am not sure you will need him but he will be there.
Listens:
364
Who:
GLaDOS
No, listen to me! Sir, I do not want this!
Listens:
18822
Who:
Caroline
clickclickclick
Listens:
578
Who:
Defective Turret
Then we'd come and find you. And rip your gross little stupid sphere body out of MY body, and put me back in.
Listens:
473
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.
Listens:
954
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey hey hey!
Listens:
2075
Who:
Turret
For that Blue is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
1012
Who:
GLaDOS
Programmed in one last tremor, for old time's sake.
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
You performed this test better than anyone on record. This is a pre-recorded message.
Listens:
652
Who:
GLaDOS
Iguanas can stay underwater for twenty-eight point seven minutes.
Listens:
627
Who:
Core 3
In order to ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled.
Listens:
498
Who:
GLaDOS
Agggh! I'm on fire!
Listens:
7292
Who:
Defective Turret
Going to space going there can't wait gotta go. Space. Going.
Listens:
2272
Who:
Core 1
We made it we made it we made it. Space!
Listens:
3382
Who:
Core 1
clickclickclick
Listens:
875
Who:
Defective Turret
Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I'm sorry. You didn't react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane. That's why I had to call you garbage a second time just now.
Listens:
4156
Who:
GLaDOS
Space...
Listens:
1298
Who:
Core 1
One of these times you'll be so fat that you'll jump, and you'll just drop like a stone. Into acid, probably. Like a potato into a deep fat fryer.
Listens:
18523
Who:
GLaDOS
Now you're just not thinking.
Listens:
419
Who:
GLaDOS
Impossible as it is to imagine, there actually is a solution. Devilishly hidden.
Listens:
331
Who:
Wheatley
Oh.
Listens:
397
Who:
Wheatley
Nicely Done!
Listens:
622
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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