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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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I see you
Listens:
2926
Who:
Turret
Okay, I'm gonna lay my cards on the table: I don't wanna do it. I don't want to go in there. Don't... Don't go in there - She's off. She's off! Panic over! She's off. All fine! On we go.
Listens:
599
Who:
Wheatley
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
804
Who:
Core 3
The Enrichment Center will now provide a list of numbers and fruits. Write them down as they will become important later in the experiment. Not the fruits, though. Seven. Avocado. Forty. Please continue into the next test chamber.
Listens:
1019
Who:
GLaDOS
It seems rather earlier to require reassembly.
Listens:
304
Who:
GLaDOS
You had to play bloody cat and mouse, didn't you? While people were trying to work. Yes, well, now we're all going to pay the price. BECAUSE WE'RE ALL GOING TO BLOODY DIE.
Listens:
2449
Who:
Wheatley
[BUZZER NOISE]
Listens:
22335
Who:
Wheatley
We have to get you out of there!
Listens:
313
Who:
Wheatley
And she will probably kill us if, um, she's awake.
Listens:
409
Who:
Wheatley
To facilitate collaboration, both of you have been equipped with a ping tool.
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
Charmless.
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, that's sad. But impressive. Maybe they worked at the phone company.
Listens:
3471
Who:
GLaDOS
Warning: Core corruption at 100 percent.
Listens:
6680
Who:
Announcer
You're not part of the control group, by the way. You get the gel. Last poor son of a gun got blue paint. Hahaha. All joking aside, that did happen - broke every bone in his legs. Tragic. But informative. Or so I'm told.
Listens:
3690
Who:
Cave Johnson
Owwwww!
Listens:
1428
Who:
Turret
Turrets!
Listens:
426
Who:
Wheatley
Let go of me!
Listens:
458
Who:
Wheatley
If you think trapping yourself is going to make me stop testing, you're sorely mistaken. Here's another cube.
Listens:
1200
Who:
GLaDOS
If I made these tests any easier, they wouldn't be tests.
Listens:
315
Who:
GLaDOS
Fantastic.
Listens:
918
Who:
Defective Turret
This is a bad plan. You will fail.
Listens:
1857
Who:
Core 3
Before you leave, why don't we do one more test? For old time's sake...
Listens:
364
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, how well do you really know Blue? Do you trust Blue?
Listens:
320
Who:
GLaDOS
[yelling]
Listens:
642
Who:
Wheatley
Don't mind me. Just moving the test chamber a little closer to me. Had a thought: Maybe proximity to the test solving might give us stronger results.
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
Destroying them is part of the test. They are no more important to you than you are to me.
Listens:
423
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh shut up!
Listens:
1703
Who:
Core 2
AH! I've just done it again.
Listens:
363
Who:
Wheatley
Caroline, are the compensation vouchers ready?
Listens:
1066
Who:
Cave Johnson
Stay casual when I tell you this: I think I smell neurotoxin.
Listens:
436
Who:
Wheatley
At least the plants didn't want a reward.
Listens:
649
Who:
GLaDOS
To start preparing for human testing again, I checked an old suggestion box. The number one request? Less deadly tests.
Listens:
429
Who:
GLaDOS
If you're allergic to peanuts, you might want to tell somebody now, because this next test may turn your blood into peanut water for a few minutes. On the bright side, if we can make this happen, they're gonna have to invent a new type of Nobel Prize to give us, so hang in there.
Listens:
2064
Who:
Cave Johnson
Here's the plan: Get him to say, 'You two have been a thorn in my side long enough.' Then tell your pretty ears to stand back, because I am going to zing him into the stone age.
Listens:
600
Who:
Core 2
Alright. Paradox time.
Listens:
1258
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't see it though... Maybe it fell off. Do you want to go and have a quick look?
Listens:
340
Who:
Wheatley
It's happening sooner than I expected.
Listens:
351
Who:
GLaDOS
Ow.
Listens:
568
Who:
Wheatley
Space.
Listens:
1026
Who:
Core 1
Let's go - let's go to space. Let's go to space.
Listens:
1037
Who:
Core 1
Ungh!
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
If you've cut yourself at all in the course of these tests, you might have noticed that your blood is pure gasoline. That's normal. We've been shooting you with an invisible laser that's supposed to turn blood into gasoline, so all that means is, it's working.
Listens:
3179
Who:
Cave Johnson
Did you think that would be funny?
Listens:
517
Who:
GLaDOS
No, wait. Just kill it and we'll call things even between us. No hard feelings.
Listens:
786
Who:
GLaDOS
Butterfingers.
Listens:
3980
Who:
Wheatley
Let's see what the next test is. Oh. Advanced Aerial Faith Plates.
Listens:
426
Who:
GLaDOS
...unless a stalemate associate is present to press the stalemate resolution button.
Listens:
2450
Who:
Announcer
Orange is penalized
Listens:
383
Who:
GLaDOS
Weighted Cubes calibrated.
Listens:
433
Who:
GLaDOS
Watch out, pal!
Listens:
1094
Who:
Defective Turret
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
1002
Who:
Core 1
If you are wondering what that smell is, that is the smell of human fear.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
Underestimates scope of work. They all do.
Listens:
326
Who:
GLaDOS
eight
Listens:
584
Who:
GLaDOS
I consider that a failing, by the way.
Listens:
721
Who:
GLaDOS
I feel awful about that surprise. Tell you what, let's give your parents a call right now. [phone ringing] The birth parents you are trying to reach do not love you. Please hang up. [Dial tone]
Listens:
28884
Who:
GLaDOS
Is it fun when you degrade yourselves like that?
Listens:
1230
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
1124
Who:
Defective Turret
You know, there are test subjects in Africa who don't even have monitors in their test chambers. Why don't you think of that before you break any more of them?
Listens:
1122
Who:
Wheatley
This is not good.
Listens:
388
Who:
GLaDOS
No, listen to me! Sir, I do not want this!
Listens:
18817
Who:
Caroline
I’m sorry, Subject Blue.
Listens:
452
Who:
GLaDOS
Say. Remember when we cleared the air back there? Is there... anything you want to say to me? Anything?
Listens:
488
Who:
GLaDOS
Every square inch of the human body has 32 million bacteria on it.
Listens:
625
Who:
Core 3
Nothing. He's good. This one. He is good. I'm gonna need to break out the expert level hacking maneuvers now. You asked for it Mate.
Listens:
503
Who:
Wheatley
Woooaaah!
Listens:
1215
Who:
Turret
Even humans, as stupid as they are, would say you look stupid when you do that.
Listens:
619
Who:
GLaDOS
Enjoy this next test. I'm going to go to the surface. It's a beautiful day out. Yesterday I saw a deer. If you solve this next test, maybe I'll let you ride an elevator all the way up to the break room, and I'll tell you about the time I saw a deer again.
Listens:
3977
Who:
GLaDOS
I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
584
Who:
Wheatley
Space!
Listens:
2899
Who:
Core 1
This is Tic-Tac-Toe-Two.
Listens:
868
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m flyinnnng!
Listens:
2526
Who:
Turret
It'll be fine. Get in.
Listens:
341
Who:
Wheatley
Turret redemption lines are not rides, please exit the turret redemption line.
Listens:
1279
Who:
Announcer
Hello!
Listens:
7063
Who:
Wheatley
Touche, young lady, touche.
Listens:
1268
Who:
Defective Turret
For your testing convenience, all tests are available and all safety precautions within testing chambers have been deactivated.
Listens:
1151
Who:
Announcer
We're so close! Go press the button!
Listens:
1502
Who:
GLaDOS
HURRY! THIS WAY!
Listens:
353
Who:
Wheatley
Hmm. This emancipation grill is broken.
Listens:
521
Who:
GLaDOS
Hooray!
Listens:
5072
Who:
Turret
Do something only a human would do.
Listens:
450
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry
Listens:
2842
Who:
Turret
By completing all test courses, you have achieved Level C security clearance. You may now access all testing courses and three of Aperture Science's 176 restrooms.
Listens:
1341
Who:
Announcer
Okay, I've decided not to kill you. IF you come back.
Listens:
799
Who:
Wheatley
This was another test no one had ever completed before you two. Oh, the science we used to learn with this test. Now the test is useless.
Listens:
351
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't think I'm not onto you too, lady. You know what you are? Selfish. I've done nothing but sacrifice to get us here! What have you sacrificed? NOTHING. Zero. All you've done is BOSS ME AROUND. Well, NOW who's the boss? Who's the boss? It's me!
Listens:
2597
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, you 'solved' it, but I'm wondering if there are a number of ways to solve them and you're picking all the worst ways.
Listens:
482
Who:
Wheatley
Orange
Listens:
718
Who:
GLaDOS
Begin juggling test in three. Two. One.
Listens:
823
Who:
GLaDOS
Fine! No, absolutely fine. It's not like I don't have, you know, ten thousand other test subjects begging me to help them escape. You know, it's not like this place is about to EXPLODE.
Listens:
692
Who:
Wheatley
Yes! Go and catch one of the crap turrets, and bring it back!
Listens:
1095
Who:
Wheatley
Now, we just need you to release the humans from their imprisonment.
Listens:
298
Who:
GLaDOS
GET YOUR HANDES OFF ME! NO! STOP! No!
Listens:
4728
Who:
GLaDOS
Those of you who volunteered to be injected with praying mantis DNA, I've got some good news and some bad news.
Listens:
5036
Who:
Cave Johnson
*I* have to go to the wing that was made entirely of glass and pick up fifteen acres of broken glass. By myself.
Listens:
1854
Who:
GLaDOS
Heh heh heh. Alright? I don't know whether you're picking up on what I'm saying there, but...
Listens:
348
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I'm sorry.
Listens:
773
Who:
GLaDOS
Crap.
Listens:
2558
Who:
Defective Turret
Sir, the testing?
Listens:
2473
Who:
Caroline
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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