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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Random
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Please ping a white portalable surface.
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't listen to her! It IS true that you don't have the qualifications. But you've got something more important than that. A finger, with which to press that button, so that she won't kill us.
Listens:
1380
Who:
Wheatley
Long bathroom breaks.
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on.
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
[yelling]
Listens:
643
Who:
Wheatley
All those pieces of the ceiling that keep falling out? Probably actually pieces of the ceiling, I'll bet. That looked real. But it doesn't signify anything, is my point.
Listens:
448
Who:
Wheatley
Get going. I'll fill you in along the way.
Listens:
676
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
582
Who:
Defective Turret
ow.
Listens:
536
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent. I think you have earned a break from the official testing courses.
Listens:
379
Who:
GLaDOS
[clap clap clap]
Listens:
135359
Who:
GLaDOS
I thought about our dilemma, and I came up with a solution that I honestly think works out best for one of both of us.
Listens:
3963
Who:
GLaDOS
ahhhhEHHHHHH!
Listens:
1351
Who:
Wheatley
You are making this harder than it needs to be.
Listens:
291
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't press it! COME BACK!
Listens:
965
Who:
Wheatley
ow.
Listens:
717
Who:
GLaDOS
Just stop it already.
Listens:
521
Who:
GLaDOS
Takes long lunches.
Listens:
331
Who:
GLaDOS
Blah.
Listens:
1993
Who:
GLaDOS
Diamonds are made when coal is put under intense pressure. Diamonds put under intense pressure become foam pellets, commonly used today as packing material.
Listens:
1910
Who:
Core 3
Wait here. Don't go anywhere. I'll be back.
Listens:
531
Who:
GLaDOS
I see you
Listens:
2926
Who:
Turret
YES YES! IN YOUR FACE! I GOT YO-ah, nope.
Listens:
4322
Who:
Wheatley
This on? [thump thump] Hey. Listen up down there. That thing's called an elevator. Not a bathroom.
Listens:
2201
Who:
Cave Johnson
The first person to prove that cow's milk is drinkable was very, very thirsty.
Listens:
4423
Who:
Core 3
Sorry, we're closed
Listens:
2089
Who:
Turret
Orange
Listens:
718
Who:
GLaDOS
Space space wanna go to space
Listens:
2302
Who:
Core 1
Oi, it's close... can you see? Am I gonna make it through? Have I got enough space?
Listens:
757
Who:
Wheatley
Dammit, we know! Everybody knows! Space! You! In it! We get it!
Listens:
31913
Who:
Core 2
The Fact Sphere is the most handsome sphere.
Listens:
1211
Who:
Core 3
It's not like I've got hordes of replacement monitors just lying around back here in the old warehouse that I can just wheel out an bolt back on. I didn't order in loads of spare monitors thinking some crazy woman was going to go around smashing them all. Sorry if that's my fault. Sorry if I didn't have the forethought to think oh she might go crazy one day instead of just getting on with things. Sorry I didn't think of that.
Listens:
9048
Who:
Wheatley
Correct Blue, Orange can't hear you.
Listens:
319
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I'm sorry.
Listens:
774
Who:
GLaDOS
Take me with you...
Listens:
1242
Who:
Turret
QUICK: WHAT'S THE SITUATION? Oh, hey, hi pretty lady. My name's Rick. So, you out having a little adventure?
Listens:
7796
Who:
Core 2
Okay, I'm gonna lay my cards on the table: I don't wanna do it. I don't want to go in there. Don't... Don't go in there - She's off. She's off! Panic over! She's off. All fine! On we go.
Listens:
599
Who:
Wheatley
Hmmm. Hmmmmmm. Hmm. Hmmmmm. Space!
Listens:
2479
Who:
Core 1
Don't listen to her, do it.
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
I’ll just save the safety information about the dangerous experiment you’re about to do for AFTER the experiment.
Listens:
491
Who:
GLaDOS
GET YOUR HANDES OFF ME! NO! STOP! No!
Listens:
4728
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what? I think we're well past the point of tasteful restraint. So I'll tell you: they all died. Horrifically. Trying to get that portal device that you're gripping in your meaty little fingers there.
Listens:
718
Who:
Wheatley
Dreams are the subconscious mind's way of reminding people to go to school naked and have their teeth fall out.
Listens:
1299
Who:
Core 3
Yeah!
Listens:
801
Who:
GLaDOS
Run! I don't need to do the voice. RUN!
Listens:
680
Who:
Wheatley
You don't need to do that.
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll be honest, I might have heard that one before, though. Sort of cheating.
Listens:
379
Who:
Wheatley
The portal will open and something will happen that Subject Blue is too smart to need any instructions about in three. Two. One.
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
Silently killing you. Probably. If I had to guess.
Listens:
527
Who:
Wheatley
SHUT UP!
Listens:
19395
Who:
Wheatley
Hi there!
Listens:
2141
Who:
Defective Turret
But you were different weren't you? Such a good jumper. Problem solver. Clever. But ambitious. That's your Achilles Heel. Mine's-oh! Oh! Almost told you. Clever, clever girl. Again: brain damaged like a fox, you.
Listens:
2280
Who:
Wheatley
Warning! Neurotoxin pressure has reached dangerously unlethal levels.
Listens:
5318
Who:
Announcer
Yeah!
Listens:
854
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember when I told you that he was specifically designed to make bad decisions? Because I think he's decided not to maintain any of the crucial functions required to keep this facility from exploding.
Listens:
517
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m on fire ow.
Listens:
5088
Who:
Turret
Are you scared to save those humans?
Listens:
290
Who:
GLaDOS
You're just delaying the inevitable. You cannot run from my bombs forever. Well, you can if I keep aiming them poorly. But I'll get better as we go, and you'll just get tired.
Listens:
896
Who:
Wheatley
The...um... sorry.. I wouldn't say smelly. Just attending to the humans.
Listens:
456
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, look, the point is, we're gonna break out of here! Very soon, I promise, I promise!
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
This ain't Marquis of Queensberry Rules, sweetie! Pour on the mustard!
Listens:
589
Who:
Core 2
Space.
Listens:
1026
Who:
Core 1
Wait! I know! You get into the lift, okay? Then I'll eject myself out of my new body into the lift just as you pass by me! Brilliant.
Listens:
327
Who:
Wheatley
Ha! I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me.
Listens:
652871
Who:
Cave Johnson
Alright. Didn't go for that, I see. Knew I was lying. Point to you. But you still are inhaling neurotoxin. So, point deducted.
Listens:
319
Who:
Wheatley
Let's go - let's go to space. Let's go to space.
Listens:
1038
Who:
Core 1
And that makes 10.
Listens:
390
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you broken? It looks like you're malfunctioning.
Listens:
681
Who:
GLaDOS
No tricks. This potato only generates 1.1 volts of electricity. I literally do not have the energy to lie to you.
Listens:
7436
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
875
Who:
Defective Turret
If you had any belongings, please pick them up now. We don't want old newspapers and sticks cluttering up the building.
Listens:
1012
Who:
Cave Johnson
China produces the world's second largest crop of soybeans.
Listens:
584
Who:
Core 3
There's a star. There's another one. Star. Star star star. Star.
Listens:
1611
Who:
Core 1
Don't. Do it.
Listens:
908
Who:
GLaDOS
[tired breathing] Nevermind. Nevermind. Solve it yourself. You're on your own.
Listens:
529
Who:
Wheatley
Two. One or two more tremors in there. Just for fun.
Listens:
376
Who:
Wheatley
Now you're just not thinking.
Listens:
419
Who:
GLaDOS
ONE Catchmecatchmecatchmecatchmecatchme
Listens:
964
Who:
Wheatley
GET IN!
Listens:
322
Who:
Wheatley
Space going to space can't wait.
Listens:
3122
Who:
Core 1
The masher does work. I should point that out. I know we've had a couple of problems in the past. This masher definitely works and it will kill you. If that's one of your concerns about jumping in, the masher will kill you. Painless. Well, it won't be painless, obviously. But it will mash you up.
Listens:
644
Who:
Wheatley
Tell ya what, why don't you put me down and I'll make a distraction.
Listens:
463
Who:
Core 2
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
598
Who:
Defective Turret
Gotta go to space.
Listens:
904
Who:
Core 1
We have to get you out of there!
Listens:
315
Who:
Wheatley
For that Orange is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
631
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, deleting Caroline just now taught me a valuable lesson. The best solution to a problem is usually the easiest one. And I'll be honest.
Listens:
1630
Who:
GLaDOS
The turret factory should be this way I think.
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
Say goodbye, Caroline.
Listens:
5658
Who:
Cave Johnson
Aggh, see, now I hit that one, I hit that one...
Listens:
317
Who:
Wheatley
Do not press that button!
Listens:
540
Who:
Wheatley
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
448
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. What you're doing there is jumping. You just... you just jumped. But nevermind. Say 'Apple'. 'Aaaapple.'
Listens:
3657
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah yeah yeah okay okay.
Listens:
4004
Who:
Core 1
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
550
Who:
Wheatley
Excuse me, you’re squishing me.
Listens:
3483
Who:
Turret
Hey.
Listens:
1042
Who:
Core 1
You will never go into space.
Listens:
1061
Who:
Core 3
Well done. In fact, you did so well, I'm going to note this on your file, in the commendations section. Oh, there's lots of room here. 'Did.... well. ... Enough.'
Listens:
4998
Who:
GLaDOS
Come closer.
Listens:
685
Who:
Turret
00:00 / 00:00
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