Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
To your left... you'll see some lights of some kind. Don't know what they do. But very sciencey anyway.
Listens:
692
Who:
Wheatley
And to your right, something huge hurtling towards you OH GOD RUN! THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE.
Listens:
2832
Who:
Wheatley
Are you alright back there? Here, I'll turn the beam off.
Listens:
715
Who:
Wheatley
Waitwaitwait. Ohhhh. Not helpful. Rrrrrg. Don't know why I thought that would help.
Listens:
1277
Who:
Wheatley
There. Bing! Perfect. On you go.
Listens:
472
Who:
Wheatley
After you told me to turn the beam off, I thought I'd lost you. Went poking around for other test subjects. No luck there. Everyone's still all dead.
Listens:
452
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! But I did find something. Reminds me: I've got a big surprise for you two. Seriously. Look forward to it.
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
Don't mind me. Just moving the test chamber a little closer to me. Had a thought: Maybe proximity to the test solving might give us stronger results.
Listens:
312
Who:
Wheatley
What was that?
Listens:
399
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. Sorry. Could have... sworn you said something.
Listens:
379
Who:
Wheatley
Ha! Missed me that time. Ohhh, you were solving-nevermind, carry on. My fault.
Listens:
514
Who:
Wheatley
Are you... are you sure you're solving these correctly?
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, you 'solved' it, but I'm wondering if there are a number of ways to solve them and you're picking all the worst ways.
Listens:
495
Who:
Wheatley
No. No. That was the solution. Rrrg! What am I missing?
Listens:
366
Who:
Wheatley
Anyway. Just finished the last one. The hardest one. Machiavelli. Do not know what all the fuss was about. Understood it perfectly. Have you read that one?
Listens:
993
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, doubt it.
Listens:
421
Who:
Wheatley
Well, on with the test.
Listens:
324
Who:
Wheatley
Wish there was more books! But there's not.
Listens:
478
Who:
Wheatley
NNGH! It's not enough! If I'm such a moron, why can't you solve a simple test?
Listens:
1799
Who:
Wheatley
Ahhhohohhhh. Wow. Well done, seriously, both of you. Why don't you two go on ahead? I'll catch up with you.
Listens:
2414
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. So that last test was... seriously disappointing. Apparently being civil isn't motivating you. So let's try things her way... fatty. Adopted fatty. Fatty fatty no-parents.
Listens:
7841
Who:
Wheatley
What -what's wrong with being adopted? Um. Well... lack of parents, for one, and... also... furthermore... nothing. Some of my best... friends are... orphans... But...
Listens:
2142
Who:
Wheatley
What?
Listens:
420
Who:
Wheatley
Just--do the test! Just do the test.
Listens:
327
Who:
Wheatley
[sound of pages turning] Oh, sorry. Hope that didn't disturb you just then. It was the sound of books. Pages being turned.
Listens:
1423
Who:
Wheatley
So that's just what I was doing. I was just reading... ah... books. So I'm not a moron.
Listens:
2304
Who:
Wheatley
[tired breathing] Nevermind. Nevermind. Solve it yourself. You're on your own.
Listens:
553
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, this is taking too long. I'll just tell you how to solve the test.
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
You see that button over there? You just need to ARRRRRGH!
Listens:
639
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah... Made this test myself. Out of some smaller tests. That I found. Lying around.
Listens:
337
Who:
Wheatley
Jammed 'em all together. Buttons. Got funnels. Bottomless pits are involved. It's got it all, it's absolute dynamite.
Listens:
548
Who:
Wheatley
What? No, you pressed that bAGGGHHHHHH
Listens:
984
Who:
Wheatley
Coming! Coming! Don't start yet!
Listens:
310
Who:
Wheatley
You're not going to believe this. I found a sealed off wing. Hundreds - HUNDREDS! - of perfectly good test chambers. Just sitting there. Filled with skeletons. Shook them out. Good as new!
Listens:
1426
Who:
Wheatley
Anddddd...THERE we go.
Listens:
352
Who:
Wheatley
Be honest. You can't even tell, can you? Seamless.
Listens:
347
Who:
Wheatley
Come on. Ohhhh. Hit me with it.
Listens:
609
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh! Are you having a laugh?
Listens:
1024
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhh, here we go... here it comes...
Listens:
462
Who:
Wheatley
Preparing to love this... don't want to build it up too much... but I think this one's going to be good, I can tell...
Listens:
480
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. Disappointing.
Listens:
1186
Who:
Wheatley
Ahungh. What was that? That was nothing! That was nothing!
Listens:
663
Who:
Wheatley
Ahungh.
Listens:
350
Who:
Wheatley
Pick me up. Let's get out of here.
Listens:
333
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, off you go!
Listens:
341
Who:
Wheatley
Go on. Just... March on through that hole.
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, it's alright. Go ahead.
Listens:
333
Who:
Wheatley
I know I've painted quite a grim picture of your chances. But if you simply stand here, we will both surely die.
Listens:
339
Who:
Wheatley
So, once again, just... move along. One small step and everything.
Listens:
318
Who:
Wheatley
Go on.
Listens:
352
Who:
Wheatley
On ya go.
Listens:
319
Who:
Wheatley
Your destination's probably not going to come meet us here. Is it? So go on.
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
Ah. Hmmmm.
Listens:
335
Who:
Wheatley
This is.... yeah. Ummm. Hm. Okay. Don't want to alarm you, but if you've got a plan, of any kind, now would be a great time for us to switch to your plan.
Listens:
603
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! It's going faster, which I was... not expecting.
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
Okay! No, don't worry! Don't worry! I've got it I've got it I've got it! THIS should slow it down!
Listens:
405
Who:
Wheatley
No. Makes it go faster.
Listens:
331
Who:
Wheatley
Okay...
Listens:
360
Who:
Wheatley
On three. Ready? One... Two...
Listens:
409
Who:
Wheatley
THREE! That's high. It's TOO high, isn't it, really, that--
Listens:
621
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, going on three just gives you too much time to think about it. Let's, uh, go on one this time. Okay, ready?
Listens:
353
Who:
Wheatley
ONE Catchmecatchmecatchmecatchmecatchme
Listens:
988
Who:
Wheatley
Plug me into that stick on the wall over there. I'll show you something.
Listens:
465
Who:
Wheatley
I can't... I can't do it if you're watching. [nervous laugh]
Listens:
681
Who:
Wheatley
Plug me into that stick on the wall over there. Yeah? And I'll show you something. You'll be impressed by this.
Listens:
351
Who:
Wheatley
Go on. Just jam me in over there.
Listens:
330
Who:
Wheatley
Right on that stick over there. Just put me right on it.
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
It is tricky. It is tricky. But just... plug me in, please.
Listens:
320
Who:
Wheatley
It DOES sound rude. I'm not going to lie to you. It DOES sound rude. It's not. Put me right on it. Stick me in.
Listens:
826
Who:
Wheatley
I can't do it if you're watching. If you.... just turn around?
Listens:
435
Who:
Wheatley
Ummmm. Yeah, I can't do it if you're watching.
Listens:
384
Who:
Wheatley
Seriously, I'm not joking. Could you just turn around for a second?
Listens:
543
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. [nervous laugh] Can't do it if you're leering at me. Creepy.
Listens:
548
Who:
Wheatley
What's that behind you? It's only a robot on a bloody stick! A different one!
Listens:
542
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Listen. I can't do it with you watching. I know it seems pathetic, given what we've been through. But just turn around. Please?
Listens:
343
Who:
Wheatley
There she is...
Listens:
397
Who:
Wheatley
Over there is where they used to keep the old neurotoxin release button. BIG responsibility, the guy in charge of the neurotoxin release button. And guess who he WAS? He wasn't me. But I was his assistant, and I did a lot of his admin.
Listens:
814
Who:
Wheatley
You know, in the end, yes, they let me go. It's all politics, to be honest. It's a big popularity contest, it's all about who you know, and whose back you're willing to scratch, who doesn't touch -- or, in my case, who did accidentally touch -- the neurotoxin button.
Listens:
1376
Who:
Wheatley
But not entirely my fault! You shoulda seen the SIZE of that thing, it was huge! I should have gotten a raise for all the times I DIDN'T bump into it.
Listens:
431
Who:
Wheatley
What a nasty piece of work she was, honestly. Like a proper maniac.
Listens:
676
Who:
Wheatley
You know who ended up, do you know who ended up taking her down in the end? You're not going to believe this. A human.
Listens:
315
Who:
Wheatley
I know! I know, I wouldn't have believed it either.
Listens:
349
Who:
Wheatley
Apparently this human escaped and nobody's seen him since.
Listens:
335
Who:
Wheatley
Then there was a sort of long chunk of time where absolutely nothing happened and then there's us escaping now. So that's pretty much the whole story, you're up to speed. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
589
Who:
Wheatley
Pop a portal on that wall behind me there, and I'll meet you on the other side of the room.
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, brilliant. You DID find a portal gun! You know what? It just goes to show: people with brain damage are the real heroes in the end aren't they? At the end of the day. Brave.
Listens:
2942
Who:
Wheatley
Right behind me.
Listens:
314
Who:
Wheatley
Just pop a portal right behind me there, and come on through to the other side.
Listens:
323
Who:
Wheatley
Pop a little portal, just there, alright? Behind me. And come on through.
Listens:
310
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, let me explain again. Pop a portal. Behind me. Alright? And come on through.
Listens:
350
Who:
Wheatley
Pop a portal. Behind me, on the wall. Come on through.
Listens:
322
Who:
Wheatley
Come on through.
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
Come on through to the other side.
Listens:
358
Who:
Wheatley
Come on through.
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, DON'T PANIC! I can still stop it, not a problem. There's a password! I'll just hack it. Here we go.
Listens:
1003
Who:
Wheatley
A... A... A... A... A... A.
Listens:
576
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. New plan. Act natural. We've done NOTHING wrong.
Listens:
523
Who:
Wheatley
Hello!
Listens:
7219
Who:
Wheatley
You did WHAT?
Listens:
3277
Who:
Wheatley
No. Wait, did I do B? Do you have a pen? Start writing these down.
Listens:
477
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
