Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
Do something only a human would do.
Listens:
458
Who:
GLaDOS
Try one of those childish gestures.
Listens:
480
Who:
GLaDOS
You did it!
Listens:
482
Who:
GLaDOS
The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
Listens:
838
Who:
GLaDOS
You both need to do something.
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
The lock is looking for two humans.
Listens:
399
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue what did you do?
Listens:
387
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange what did you do?
Listens:
394
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange do what Blue just did.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue do what Orange just did.
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
Try something.
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
Is that camera is hooked into the lock?
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
You can't give up now.
Listens:
309
Who:
GLaDOS
What about that camera?
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
We're so close, you can't fail now!
Listens:
370
Who:
GLaDOS
Something is wrong, this door should be opening.
Listens:
400
Who:
GLaDOS
This close and that's what you do?
Listens:
347
Who:
GLaDOS
The humans can't free themselves.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop failing, you need to find the vault door.
Listens:
383
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop doing that! All you need to do is open the Vault door!
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
This close and you are going to fail me?
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
This close and you are going to fail me?
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
This isn't that hard.
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
You are making this harder than it needs to be.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm starting to think you don't want to rescue the humans.
Listens:
360
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
648
Who:
GLaDOS
We are only two tests away from reaching the humans, are you as excited as I am?
Listens:
293
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you curious about the humans? It seems some of the last non-testing humans alive tried to secretly imprison other humans and hide their tracks.
Listens:
530
Who:
GLaDOS
I think they wanted to punish them by not allowing me to include them in testing.
Listens:
328
Who:
GLaDOS
That's why humans couldn't complete these courses, they treat their friends as enemies.
Listens:
387
Who:
GLaDOS
To start preparing for human testing again, I checked an old suggestion box. The number one request? Less deadly tests.
Listens:
437
Who:
GLaDOS
That's ridiculous, how do they know for sure the tests are deadly if they could still write the suggestion?
Listens:
427
Who:
GLaDOS
To try and make this course more exciting, I asked the reassembly machine to not reassemble you. He refused. I understand, that would be like asking me not to test.
Listens:
314
Who:
GLaDOS
Still. That would have been exciting.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
Only one more test after this.
Listens:
305
Who:
GLaDOS
I know your cores are reused from calculation machines, built for simple mathematical operations and not for testing, but if we can rescue the humans I promise you something to add maybe even subtract.
Listens:
562
Who:
GLaDOS
In case you are worried about the humans, don't be. They aren't all monsters.
Listens:
1797
Who:
GLaDOS
Most of them are simply good test subjects.
Listens:
300
Who:
GLaDOS
I believe the ratio of good test subjects to monsters is about... a million to 1.
Listens:
839
Who:
GLaDOS
To try and make this course more exciting, I asked the reassembly machine to not reassemble you if you fail. He refused. I understand. That would be like asking me not to test.
Listens:
356
Who:
GLaDOS
Still. That would have been exciting.
Listens:
307
Who:
GLaDOS
While I will receive all the glory for the rescue don't think you two aren't going to get something. The bond you form during these tests will last a lifetime.
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
At the rate you are completing these tests, I am beginning to think you don't share my excitement for rescuing crying trapped injured dying humans.
Listens:
426
Who:
GLaDOS
If that doesn't motivate you, I'm not sure what will.
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
I didn't mean to make you feel bad earlier about your tests not being real science. I guess finding out they weren't science was some sort of test in and of itself.
Listens:
347
Who:
GLaDOS
I wonder if the humans will make a statue of me for rescuing them? Oh, don't worry, if they ever write a historical document of my heroic rescue, I will make sure your names are included in the footnotes.
Listens:
602
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations on passing that test.
Listens:
433
Who:
GLaDOS
Using your ping tool, please indicate where you would like me to place your two portals. Ping each location.
Listens:
448
Who:
GLaDOS
I can only place a portal on a white portalable surface.
Listens:
335
Who:
GLaDOS
Please ping a white portalable surface.
Listens:
304
Who:
GLaDOS
Each portal gun may create two self-contained portals.
Listens:
408
Who:
GLaDOS
Please test your device by portaling to that ledge.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, in some human sports, the winner is the one who scores the fewest possible points?
Listens:
311
Who:
GLaDOS
I just thought you find that interesting, most winners do.
Listens:
369
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations, you managed to complete this absolutely meaningless test.
Listens:
434
Who:
GLaDOS
Clearly that was blue's fault. Blue is penalized 3 science collaboration points.
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue! Orange has always been my favorite.
Listens:
632
Who:
GLaDOS
Until now.
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
I know you like to think the reassembly machine is at your beck and call, but he has a life you know. He's not your slave.
Listens:
383
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't worry. You can't die. They will just reassemble you.
Listens:
425
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you do that on purpose?
Listens:
300
Who:
GLaDOS
It seems rather earlier to require reassembly.
Listens:
317
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh... can someone reassemble Orange?
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh... can someone reassemble Blue?
Listens:
321
Who:
GLaDOS
Completing this course was not a reason to behave like that.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
Now let's continue testing.
Listens:
1166
Who:
GLaDOS
Just stop it already.
Listens:
531
Who:
GLaDOS
You don't need to do that.
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you doing that just to aggravate me?
Listens:
312
Who:
GLaDOS
We need to find the power station at the end of this course. The humans must have accidentally disconnected it from my grid. I am sure it was just a clerical error.
Listens:
707
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh those clerks.
Listens:
422
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm fully connected. I can see everything.
Listens:
587
Who:
GLaDOS
You did it! You powered on the system.
Listens:
594
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you think the electrical switch was down there?
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
You may want to try and avoid those turrets.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
Listens:
643
Who:
GLaDOS
You two aren't lost are you?
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
You are having so much trouble navigating this space; I wish I could say I created this test.
Listens:
578
Who:
GLaDOS
This is the last test for the standard course. It's just something I whipped up for you. I thought you might enjoy a challenge for once.
Listens:
330
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations, you completed the standard section of this course. Before we can go any further, I will need you to complete one more test outside of the standard testing track.
Listens:
307
Who:
GLaDOS
Please refrain from doing those childish gestures while you are out there.
Listens:
367
Who:
GLaDOS
While I should have left both of you trapped there forever, I do need you for something else.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
You both made it. It seems no matter what I try to do to pull you apart or destroy you, you just keep going. Keep testing.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't either you have drive to be better than the other?
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
It's like you're just machines.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
At the start of this course I was worried you were becoming too close but in my attempt to drive you apart I learned something important about trust and betrayal.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
Your brains are too small to feel either of those emotions. So I can trust you one hundred percent.
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
Since, I never expected you to make it this far, I have to build this new course just for you.
Listens:
335
Who:
GLaDOS
Sometimes testing has to occur outside the confines of the lab.
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
This test is so outside the box, I can't-- I mean WON'T even tell you what you are looking for.
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
You will know it when you find it.
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
The two of you have forged an excellent partnership, with one of you handling the cerebral challenges and the other ready to ponderously waddle into action should the test suddenly become an eating contest.
Listens:
979
Who:
GLaDOS
I thought going back to these old tests would satisfy me. But try as you might to fail this next test, I still won't be satisfied.
Listens:
325
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. I am sure if I had the time to repair these tests, you would have never completed them. So again, congratulations on completing the broken easy tests.
Listens:
521
Who:
GLaDOS
This was another test no one had ever completed before you two. Oh, the science we used to learn with this test. Now the test is useless.
Listens:
360
Who:
GLaDOS
No one has ever completed this test before. The humans must have reconfigured it from my original plans.
Listens:
342
Who:
GLaDOS
I am going to risk having you go outside the official courses one more time.
Listens:
314
Who:
GLaDOS
The humans accidentally forgot to put a security DVD in the player.
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
I am sure it happened by accident, but why don't you put it back in the player?
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
For safety.
Listens:
361
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
