Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
Do something only a human would do.
Listens:
453
Who:
GLaDOS
Try one of those childish gestures.
Listens:
476
Who:
GLaDOS
You did it!
Listens:
475
Who:
GLaDOS
The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
Listens:
821
Who:
GLaDOS
You both need to do something.
Listens:
300
Who:
GLaDOS
The lock is looking for two humans.
Listens:
394
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue what did you do?
Listens:
381
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange what did you do?
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange do what Blue just did.
Listens:
301
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue do what Orange just did.
Listens:
305
Who:
GLaDOS
Try something.
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
Is that camera is hooked into the lock?
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
You can't give up now.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
What about that camera?
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
We're so close, you can't fail now!
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
Something is wrong, this door should be opening.
Listens:
396
Who:
GLaDOS
This close and that's what you do?
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
The humans can't free themselves.
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop failing, you need to find the vault door.
Listens:
379
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop doing that! All you need to do is open the Vault door!
Listens:
410
Who:
GLaDOS
This close and you are going to fail me?
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
This close and you are going to fail me?
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
This isn't that hard.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
You are making this harder than it needs to be.
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm starting to think you don't want to rescue the humans.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
633
Who:
GLaDOS
We are only two tests away from reaching the humans, are you as excited as I am?
Listens:
290
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you curious about the humans? It seems some of the last non-testing humans alive tried to secretly imprison other humans and hide their tracks.
Listens:
525
Who:
GLaDOS
I think they wanted to punish them by not allowing me to include them in testing.
Listens:
328
Who:
GLaDOS
That's why humans couldn't complete these courses, they treat their friends as enemies.
Listens:
380
Who:
GLaDOS
To start preparing for human testing again, I checked an old suggestion box. The number one request? Less deadly tests.
Listens:
434
Who:
GLaDOS
That's ridiculous, how do they know for sure the tests are deadly if they could still write the suggestion?
Listens:
427
Who:
GLaDOS
To try and make this course more exciting, I asked the reassembly machine to not reassemble you. He refused. I understand, that would be like asking me not to test.
Listens:
314
Who:
GLaDOS
Still. That would have been exciting.
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
Only one more test after this.
Listens:
302
Who:
GLaDOS
I know your cores are reused from calculation machines, built for simple mathematical operations and not for testing, but if we can rescue the humans I promise you something to add maybe even subtract.
Listens:
558
Who:
GLaDOS
In case you are worried about the humans, don't be. They aren't all monsters.
Listens:
1791
Who:
GLaDOS
Most of them are simply good test subjects.
Listens:
296
Who:
GLaDOS
I believe the ratio of good test subjects to monsters is about... a million to 1.
Listens:
833
Who:
GLaDOS
To try and make this course more exciting, I asked the reassembly machine to not reassemble you if you fail. He refused. I understand. That would be like asking me not to test.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
Still. That would have been exciting.
Listens:
307
Who:
GLaDOS
While I will receive all the glory for the rescue don't think you two aren't going to get something. The bond you form during these tests will last a lifetime.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
At the rate you are completing these tests, I am beginning to think you don't share my excitement for rescuing crying trapped injured dying humans.
Listens:
419
Who:
GLaDOS
If that doesn't motivate you, I'm not sure what will.
Listens:
304
Who:
GLaDOS
I didn't mean to make you feel bad earlier about your tests not being real science. I guess finding out they weren't science was some sort of test in and of itself.
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
I wonder if the humans will make a statue of me for rescuing them? Oh, don't worry, if they ever write a historical document of my heroic rescue, I will make sure your names are included in the footnotes.
Listens:
597
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations on passing that test.
Listens:
420
Who:
GLaDOS
Using your ping tool, please indicate where you would like me to place your two portals. Ping each location.
Listens:
438
Who:
GLaDOS
I can only place a portal on a white portalable surface.
Listens:
330
Who:
GLaDOS
Please ping a white portalable surface.
Listens:
301
Who:
GLaDOS
Each portal gun may create two self-contained portals.
Listens:
402
Who:
GLaDOS
Please test your device by portaling to that ledge.
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, in some human sports, the winner is the one who scores the fewest possible points?
Listens:
311
Who:
GLaDOS
I just thought you find that interesting, most winners do.
Listens:
362
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations, you managed to complete this absolutely meaningless test.
Listens:
430
Who:
GLaDOS
Clearly that was blue's fault. Blue is penalized 3 science collaboration points.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue! Orange has always been my favorite.
Listens:
626
Who:
GLaDOS
Until now.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
I know you like to think the reassembly machine is at your beck and call, but he has a life you know. He's not your slave.
Listens:
375
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't worry. You can't die. They will just reassemble you.
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you do that on purpose?
Listens:
296
Who:
GLaDOS
It seems rather earlier to require reassembly.
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh... can someone reassemble Orange?
Listens:
300
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh... can someone reassemble Blue?
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
Completing this course was not a reason to behave like that.
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
Now let's continue testing.
Listens:
1162
Who:
GLaDOS
Just stop it already.
Listens:
527
Who:
GLaDOS
You don't need to do that.
Listens:
328
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you doing that just to aggravate me?
Listens:
309
Who:
GLaDOS
We need to find the power station at the end of this course. The humans must have accidentally disconnected it from my grid. I am sure it was just a clerical error.
Listens:
692
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh those clerks.
Listens:
417
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm fully connected. I can see everything.
Listens:
581
Who:
GLaDOS
You did it! You powered on the system.
Listens:
588
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you think the electrical switch was down there?
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
You may want to try and avoid those turrets.
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
Listens:
625
Who:
GLaDOS
You two aren't lost are you?
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
You are having so much trouble navigating this space; I wish I could say I created this test.
Listens:
566
Who:
GLaDOS
This is the last test for the standard course. It's just something I whipped up for you. I thought you might enjoy a challenge for once.
Listens:
326
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations, you completed the standard section of this course. Before we can go any further, I will need you to complete one more test outside of the standard testing track.
Listens:
305
Who:
GLaDOS
Please refrain from doing those childish gestures while you are out there.
Listens:
361
Who:
GLaDOS
While I should have left both of you trapped there forever, I do need you for something else.
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
You both made it. It seems no matter what I try to do to pull you apart or destroy you, you just keep going. Keep testing.
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't either you have drive to be better than the other?
Listens:
305
Who:
GLaDOS
It's like you're just machines.
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
At the start of this course I was worried you were becoming too close but in my attempt to drive you apart I learned something important about trust and betrayal.
Listens:
315
Who:
GLaDOS
Your brains are too small to feel either of those emotions. So I can trust you one hundred percent.
Listens:
288
Who:
GLaDOS
Since, I never expected you to make it this far, I have to build this new course just for you.
Listens:
325
Who:
GLaDOS
Sometimes testing has to occur outside the confines of the lab.
Listens:
304
Who:
GLaDOS
This test is so outside the box, I can't-- I mean WON'T even tell you what you are looking for.
Listens:
330
Who:
GLaDOS
You will know it when you find it.
Listens:
291
Who:
GLaDOS
The two of you have forged an excellent partnership, with one of you handling the cerebral challenges and the other ready to ponderously waddle into action should the test suddenly become an eating contest.
Listens:
957
Who:
GLaDOS
I thought going back to these old tests would satisfy me. But try as you might to fail this next test, I still won't be satisfied.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. I am sure if I had the time to repair these tests, you would have never completed them. So again, congratulations on completing the broken easy tests.
Listens:
512
Who:
GLaDOS
This was another test no one had ever completed before you two. Oh, the science we used to learn with this test. Now the test is useless.
Listens:
356
Who:
GLaDOS
No one has ever completed this test before. The humans must have reconfigured it from my original plans.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
I am going to risk having you go outside the official courses one more time.
Listens:
311
Who:
GLaDOS
The humans accidentally forgot to put a security DVD in the player.
Listens:
372
Who:
GLaDOS
I am sure it happened by accident, but why don't you put it back in the player?
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
For safety.
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
