Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
Alright, I wasn't going to mention this to you, but I am in PRETTY HOT WATER here.
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
I did everything you asked!
Listens:
3244
Who:
Turret
Go on. Get a goooood lonnnnng look.
Listens:
392
Who:
GLaDOS
We're not gonna release this stuff into the wild until it's good and damn ready, so as long as you keep yourself in top physical form, there'll always be a limo waiting for you.
Listens:
958
Who:
Cave Johnson
Ohh. You're gonna laugh at this. You know how I said there was absolutely no way to get here without going through her lair and her potentially killing us? Could have gone through here. [laughs] My fault. Bit of luck for us that she wasn't switched on.
Listens:
1454
Who:
Wheatley
We haven't entirely nailed down what element it is yet, but I'll tell you this: it's a lively one, and it does NOT like the human skeleton.
Listens:
2412
Who:
Cave Johnson
But just work with me.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
And then you showed up. You dangerous, mute lunatic. So you know what?
Listens:
3128
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha! Was that your bullet-riddled body, flying out of the room? It was- aww, those were the crap turrets, weren't they? Yeah...
Listens:
2026
Who:
Wheatley
Just a heads-up: That coffee we gave you earlier had fluorescent calcium in it so we can track the neuronal activity in your brain. There's a slight chance the calcium could harden and vitrify your frontal lobe. Anyway, don't stress yourself thinking about it. I'm serious. Visualizing the scenario while under stress actually triggers the reaction.
Listens:
4582
Who:
Cave Johnson
Okay, well, alright. Just do your idea and then come straight back.
Listens:
272
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, how ya doin'.
Listens:
793
Who:
Defective Turret
I love it too. There's just one small thing we need to take care of first.
Listens:
647
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. Disappointing.
Listens:
1102
Who:
Wheatley
What a nasty piece of work she was, honestly. Like a proper maniac.
Listens:
578
Who:
Wheatley
Warning: Core corruption at 75 percent.
Listens:
4845
Who:
Announcer
There we go. I wanted to talk to you for a moment, if I may.
Listens:
282
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no no no... No! Nooo!
Listens:
9617
Who:
Wheatley
STAY CALM! Stay calm! 'Prepare.' That's all it's saying. It's just saying 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm going to get us out of here.
Listens:
706
Who:
Wheatley
I'm afraid the door's locked. Just checked it. No way to hack it as far as I can tell. The mechanism must be on the -oh, now look at that. That's a big laser!
Listens:
427
Who:
Wheatley
What a horrible little machine.
Listens:
576
Who:
GLaDOS
Whoa-ho-ho! Would you look at this. Not too bad, eh? Giant robot. Massive! It's not just me, right? I'm bloody massive, aren't I?
Listens:
579
Who:
Wheatley
Did I hit it? I hit it, didn't I?
Listens:
419
Who:
Defective Turret
Before the invention of scrambled eggs in 1912, the typical breakfast was either whole eggs still in the shell or scrambled rocks.
Listens:
1038
Who:
Core 3
Wanna go to -- wanna go to space
Listens:
978
Who:
Core 1
Owww!
Listens:
935
Who:
Turret
Core transfer?
Listens:
753
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
4079
Who:
Wheatley
Raseph, the Semitic god of war and plague, had a gazelle growing out of his forehead.
Listens:
792
Who:
Core 3
Yes Mr. Johnson
Listens:
1363
Who:
Caroline
Here's the plan: Get him to say, 'You two have been a thorn in my side long enough.' Then tell your pretty ears to stand back, because I am going to zing him into space.
Listens:
2140
Who:
Core 2
I just have to figure out how. To break us out of here.
Listens:
258
Who:
Wheatley
Moody.
Listens:
266
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, stop moving.
Listens:
403
Who:
Wheatley
Really? You’re just going to blatantly cheat?
Listens:
634
Who:
GLaDOS
I think these test chambers look even better than they did before. It was easy, really. You just have to look at things objectively, see what you don't need anymore, and trim out the fat.
Listens:
3441
Who:
GLaDOS
89% of magic tricks are not magic. Technically, they are sorcery.
Listens:
2347
Who:
Core 3
You will be dead soon.
Listens:
820
Who:
Core 3
I spy with my little eye, something that starts with 'f'.
Listens:
408
Who:
Wheatley
Steals lunch from staff fridge.
Listens:
259
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. You know, when I woke up and saw the state of the labs, I started to wonder if there was any point to going on. I came THAT close to just giving up and letting you go.
Listens:
368
Who:
GLaDOS
No! NO! NO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
Listens:
70155
Who:
GLaDOS
[laughs]
Listens:
2399
Who:
Wheatley
We are going to shut down her turret production line, turn off her neurotoxin, and then confront her.
Listens:
256
Who:
Wheatley
Coming! Coming! Don't start yet!
Listens:
270
Who:
Wheatley
Coming through!
Listens:
2003
Who:
Turret
[BUZZER NOISE]
Listens:
20633
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhh, now he's playing classical music.
Listens:
3559
Who:
GLaDOS
Space Court. For people in space. Judge space sun presiding. Bam. Guilty. Of being in space. I'm in space.
Listens:
5354
Who:
Core 1
[to self] Hm. Could be Spanish, could be Spanish. [loud again] Hola, amigo! Abre la puerta! Donde esta--no. Um...
Listens:
2483
Who:
Wheatley
Exactly how painful are we tAGHHHHHH!
Listens:
1176
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no. He found the cooperative testing initiative. It's... something I came up to phase out human testing just before you escaped.
Listens:
630
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyway, here's a new cube for you to project your deranged loneliness onto.
Listens:
834
Who:
GLaDOS
Good.
Listens:
536
Who:
GLaDOS
ONE Catchmecatchmecatchmecatchmecatchme
Listens:
891
Who:
Wheatley
Orange, your plan is working perfectly.
Listens:
265
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah yeah yeah okay okay.
Listens:
3909
Who:
Core 1
Argumentative.
Listens:
260
Who:
GLaDOS
Machiavellian!
Listens:
994
Who:
Wheatley
If you can't complete this course, those humans will die. Do you want that?
Listens:
264
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahh. What?
Listens:
864
Who:
Wheatley
Thanks to you, I know where to find them, I removed their security and powered up their - uh - rescue door.
Listens:
468
Who:
GLaDOS
[sound of pages turning] Oh, sorry. Hope that didn't disturb you just then. It was the sound of books. Pages being turned.
Listens:
1344
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, let me explain again. Pop a portal. Behind me. Alright? And come on through.
Listens:
259
Who:
Wheatley
four
Listens:
526
Who:
GLaDOS
'Let there be light.' That's, uh... God. I was quoting God.
Listens:
2234
Who:
Wheatley
That's ridiculous, how do they know for sure the tests are deadly if they could still write the suggestion?
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
Now she'll argue. She'll say she can't. She's modest like that. But you make her.
Listens:
1762
Who:
Cave Johnson
Orange receives
Listens:
260
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm not defective!
Listens:
2233
Who:
Defective Turret
Heh heh heh. Alright? I don't know whether you're picking up on what I'm saying there, but...
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
Yep. Still blind.
Listens:
805
Who:
Defective Turret
FOOL! You were a fool to come back, because I've trapped you again! Helpless. You're at my mercy. And I don't have any. You're at my nothing. You're at my lack of mercy.
Listens:
2142
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, let's see. Cool line... He's... big. He's... just hangin' there. Okay. Yeah, all right, here we go: 'Hang around.' That might be too easy.
Listens:
524
Who:
Core 2
Good. You made it to one of the human habitats. We're looking for an artifact. Think of it as an archeological dig.
Listens:
887
Who:
GLaDOS
It's happening sooner than I expected.
Listens:
281
Who:
GLaDOS
The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space.
Listens:
738
Who:
Core 3
I don't know what you think you are doing, but I don't like it. I want you to stop.
Listens:
845
Who:
GLaDOS
The good news is... well, none so far, to be honest. I'll get back to you on that.
Listens:
321
Who:
GLaDOS
So, once again, just... move along. One small step and everything.
Listens:
282
Who:
Wheatley
Please stop.
Listens:
1153
Who:
Turret
I tell you, if I was up against impossible odds, this is the way I'd want to go out: mashed with dignity. That'd be the way I'd choose.
Listens:
353
Who:
Wheatley
To do that, the tests were nothing more than 5 minutes of them walking followed by me praising them for another 10 minutes on how well they walked.
Listens:
304
Who:
GLaDOS
Luckily, you don't feel pain. At any rate, you don't have a way to communicate that you feel pain.
Listens:
467
Who:
GLaDOS
Resting
Listens:
635
Who:
Turret
Click click click! Still defective!
Listens:
2251
Who:
Defective Turret
There is a box part here. Probably got some electronics in there.
Listens:
259
Who:
Wheatley
Do not press that button!
Listens:
813
Who:
Wheatley
We're not safe yet. Quick! Follow the walkway.
Listens:
257
Who:
Wheatley
Just getting a test ready... For you. Obviously. Who else would I be doing it for? No one.
Listens:
258
Who:
Wheatley
Now you're thinking with stupidity.
Listens:
1873
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember that!
Listens:
1222
Who:
Turret
The humans can't free themselves.
Listens:
265
Who:
GLaDOS
*cough* Button. Button.
Listens:
1337
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh. Remember when you picked me up? Five seconds ago! Ohhh, that was amazing! Do it again, pick me up again!
Listens:
387
Who:
Wheatley
Blue is first to acquire a Portal Device.
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
Federal regulations require me to warn you that this next test chamber... is looking pretty good.
Listens:
33855
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't want to scare you, but, I'm an Adventure Sphere. Designed for danger. So, why don't you go ahead and have yourself a little lady break, and I'll just take it from here.
Listens:
1437
Who:
Core 2
You're on your own.
Listens:
270
Who:
GLaDOS
If I'd known you'd let yourself get captured this easily, I would have just dangled a turkey leg on a rope from the ceiling.
Listens:
1881
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
