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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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BAM! Secret panel! That I opened. While your back was turned.
Listens:
478
Who:
Wheatley
Going to space going there can't wait gotta go. Space. Going.
Listens:
2272
Who:
Core 1
Lady.
Listens:
1179
Who:
Core 1
Space. Space. Space. Space. Comets. Stars. Galaxies. Orion.
Listens:
1971
Who:
Core 1
No, that's right. Over by the podium, yeah.
Listens:
312
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh, no. The turbines again. I have to go. Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version.
Listens:
1063
Who:
GLaDOS
But it's not too late to avoid all of that by simply not using the gel. There you go, I said it. I gave away my plan. But I couldn't watch you hurt yourself like this.
Listens:
374
Who:
Wheatley
Ha! Was that your bullet-riddled body, flying out of the room? It was- aww, those were the crap turrets, weren't they? Yeah...
Listens:
2148
Who:
Wheatley
Histrionic.
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, alright, okay. This is getting tiresome. I'm surprised you haven't got anything better to do. I know I have. You've proven you can break screens. Proven. Factual. Well done. Good. Aren't you little miss clever. Little miss smashy-smash.
Listens:
1401
Who:
Wheatley
Sir, the test.
Listens:
1419
Who:
Caroline
Ha ha ha ha ha. Did I tell you the one about the turned-off reassembly machine?
Listens:
488
Who:
GLaDOS
If at first you don't succeed, quit and try another course.
Listens:
459
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello? Friend.
Listens:
29222
Who:
Turret
Come on! Come on!
Listens:
289
Who:
Wheatley
Sounds crazy, I know. But hear me out. Once you get to my lair, death will not be optional. It will be mandatory. No tricks, no surprises: just you dying, as a result of me killing you in a very very gruesome way.
Listens:
1063
Who:
Wheatley
Owwwww!
Listens:
1428
Who:
Turret
Aw... hates Mondays.
Listens:
1616
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't get over how small you are!
Listens:
420
Who:
Wheatley
Did something happen? [yawn] I wasn't watching.
Listens:
549
Who:
GLaDOS
Like the potato!
Listens:
186815
Who:
Defective Turret
Anyway, new turrets. Not defective. Ace of fours. The best hand. Unbeatable, I imagine.
Listens:
1590
Who:
Wheatley
You're okay! Great! Come on!
Listens:
315
Who:
Wheatley
I HAVE to test. All the time. Or I get this... this ITCH. It must be hardwired into the system or something.
Listens:
1186
Who:
Wheatley
And trust me, humans only have one good trait.
Listens:
486
Who:
GLaDOS
There she is...
Listens:
375
Who:
Wheatley
Do you feel more human?
Listens:
693
Who:
GLaDOS
No! NO! NO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
Listens:
73357
Who:
GLaDOS
Do hear that? That's the sound of the neurotoxin emitters emitting neurotoxin.
Listens:
1510
Who:
GLaDOS
Space.
Listens:
103111
Who:
Core 1
Yeah.
Listens:
368
Who:
Defective Turret
No no, no no, no no, whoa whoa, no, whoa!
Listens:
876
Who:
Defective Turret
Here it is - the turret factory entrance! We made it.
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
Keep it up, baby! You're creamin' him!
Listens:
475
Who:
Core 2
On second thought we don't have the time, just look at how much better you are than blue.
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
While I should have left both of you trapped there forever, I do need you for something else.
Listens:
290
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, hang on. What if we gave it something ELSE to scan?
Listens:
320
Who:
Wheatley
Ahahaha
Listens:
2125
Who:
Turret
Did you know we originally used these cameras to capture moments of intense pain and agony in test subjects?
Listens:
321
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't listen to her, do it.
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, good. My slow clap processor made it into this thing. So we have that.
Listens:
55535
Who:
GLaDOS
[humming]
Listens:
1838
Who:
Core 1
Because of the technical difficulties we are currently experiencing, your test environment is unsupervised.
Listens:
1043
Who:
Announcer
What'd I hit?
Listens:
399
Who:
Defective Turret
If you had underwear? And a butt? I would pull your underwear... right up your butt.
Listens:
26697
Who:
Core 2
Okay, almost there. On the other side of that wall is one of the old testing tracks. There's a piece of equipment in there we're gonna need to get out of here. I think this is a docking station. Get ready...
Listens:
365
Who:
Wheatley
The lock is looking for two humans.
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
Die!
Listens:
1668
Who:
Defective Turret
Two: Start the neurotoxin immediately.
Listens:
980
Who:
Wheatley
Nope. Okay. A... A... A... A... A... C.
Listens:
505
Who:
Wheatley
Once testing starts, I'm required by protocol to keep interaction with you to a minimum. Luckily, we haven't started testing yet. This will be our only chance to talk.
Listens:
543
Who:
GLaDOS
Warning: Central core is eighty percent corrupt.
Listens:
2430
Who:
Announcer
A, A, A, A, A, A. [NNNT!] No. A, A, A, A, A, B. [NNNT!] Hold on, I've done both of these. Skip ahead. A, B, C... D, G, H.[DING!]
Listens:
174472
Who:
Wheatley
Canvassing
Listens:
650
Who:
Turret
In Greek myth, the craftsman Daedalus invented human flight so a group of Minotaurs would stop teasing him about it.
Listens:
864
Who:
Core 3
Neurotoxin level at capacity in five minutes.
Listens:
4567
Who:
Announcer
Argumentative.
Listens:
319
Who:
GLaDOS
Keep moving! Just keep moving!
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
Mr. Johnson, I don't want this.
Listens:
8773
Who:
Caroline
So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious!
Listens:
70346
Who:
GLaDOS
You really do have brain damage, don't you?
Listens:
2215
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is the most handsome sphere.
Listens:
1211
Who:
Core 3
Look, an eclipse! No. Don't look.
Listens:
1570
Who:
Core 1
The likelihood of you dying violently within the next five minutes is eighty-seven point six one percent.
Listens:
1464
Who:
Core 3
...What are you doing?...
Listens:
1271
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, great! Here comes another core!
Listens:
335
Who:
GLaDOS
But why don't we all just agree to call it the hub?
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m flyinnnng!
Listens:
2526
Who:
Turret
I thought we fixed that.
Listens:
1015
Who:
Defective Turret
I’m on fire ow.
Listens:
5088
Who:
Turret
Plug me in, we're running out of time.
Listens:
395
Who:
GLaDOS
times in this test. Not that it matters. It doesn't. So congratulations job well done.
Listens:
361
Who:
GLaDOS
Nothing. He's good. This one. He is good. I'm gonna need to break out the expert level hacking maneuvers now. You asked for it Mate.
Listens:
505
Who:
Wheatley
In 1879, Sandford Fleming first proposed the adoption of worldwide standardized time zones at the Royal Canadian Institute.
Listens:
643
Who:
Core 3
Blue just taught orange a valuable lesson in trust. For that, blue receives 14 science collaboration points.
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, buddy!
Listens:
723
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
1003
Who:
Defective Turret
OW!
Listens:
437
Who:
Wheatley
Now, you already met one another on the limo ride over, so let me introduce myself.
Listens:
1085
Who:
Cave Johnson
Maybe you ARE getting human emotions.
Listens:
331
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
566
Who:
Defective Turret
So what do you say? You carry me up to him and put me back into my body, and I stop us from blowing up and let you go.
Listens:
498
Who:
GLaDOS
Heh heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
1147
Who:
GLaDOS
I was outside watching some deer frolic. You don't even care about the outside do you?
Listens:
814
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, it's a core you've put on me! Who told you to do that? Was it her? [as if he's looking around] It's just making me stronger, luv! It's a fool's errand!
Listens:
2782
Who:
Wheatley
Wanna go to -- wanna go to space
Listens:
1020
Who:
Core 1
The moon orbits the Earth every 27.32 days.
Listens:
890
Who:
Core 3
I'm fine!
Listens:
1229
Who:
Turret
You know, there are test subjects in Africa who don't even have monitors in their test chambers. Why don't you think of that before you break any more of them?
Listens:
1122
Who:
Wheatley
There are 5000 other two subject teams in direct competition with you.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you alive down there?
Listens:
471
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, hey, how ya doin'?
Listens:
538
Who:
Defective Turret
Humans can survive underwater. But not for very long.
Listens:
1180
Who:
Core 3
That jumpsuit you're wearing looks stupid. That's not me talking, it's right here in your file. On other people it looks fine, but right here a scientist has noted that on you it looks 'stupid.'
Listens:
2645
Who:
GLaDOS
Whew. There we go! Now I'll be honest, you are probably in no fit state to run this particular type of cognitive gauntlet. But... um... at least you're a good jumper. So... you've got that. You've got the jumping on your side. Just do your best, and I'll meet you up ahead.
Listens:
533
Who:
Wheatley
So he's inexplicably happy all of a sudden, even though he should be going out of his mind with test withdrawal. AND he's got a surprise for us. What did he FIND back there?
Listens:
737
Who:
GLaDOS
It shouldn't be hard to stay alive long enough to find him.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
Get ready for it!
Listens:
371
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah yeah yeah okay okay.
Listens:
4004
Who:
Core 1
Howdy, stranger! We're back!
Listens:
913
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
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