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Portal 2
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This is AMAZING! We can walk wherever we want! Look, just... go left! No, go right, go right! Don't even care, don't even care, just go where ever you want, couldn't care less.
Listens:
390
Who:
Wheatley
You know what? Go ahead and jump. You've got braces on your legs. No braces on your arms, though. Gonna have to rely on the old human strength to keep a grip on the device and, by extension, me. So do. Do make sure to maintain a grip.
Listens:
390
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry! Sorry. My fault.
Listens:
389
Who:
Wheatley
Either way, I get the impression he's trying to kill us.
Listens:
388
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you trying to impress me? What would impress me more is if you never did that again.
Listens:
388
Who:
GLaDOS
Notice the moat area. Very deadly. Extremely dangerous. Eventually. Not at the moment. Still working on it, still working on it.
Listens:
388
Who:
Wheatley
Think about this.
Listens:
387
Who:
GLaDOS
At the rate you are completing these tests, I am beginning to think you don't share my excitement for rescuing crying trapped injured dying humans.
Listens:
387
Who:
GLaDOS
How is this even science, without the consequence of death?
Listens:
387
Who:
GLaDOS
Leave me in! Leave me in! Go press it!
Listens:
387
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh. Remember when you picked me up? Five seconds ago! Ohhh, that was amazing! Do it again, pick me up again!
Listens:
387
Who:
Wheatley
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
387
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I tried.
Listens:
387
Who:
Defective Turret
They'll probably throw you a party.
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh oh.
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
If groups of hunter-gatherers appear to have made this - or any - test chamber their home, DO NOT AGITATE THEM. Test through them.
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes? Something you need?
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
Again, though, for the moment: RUN!
Listens:
386
Who:
Wheatley
Well, you bested me this time.
Listens:
386
Who:
Defective Turret
To start preparing for human testing again, I checked an old suggestion box. The number one request? Less deadly tests.
Listens:
385
Who:
GLaDOS
If you can get me in front of him, I'll fry every circuit in that little idiot's head.
Listens:
384
Who:
GLaDOS
Technical... Ummm... You'll need to turn around while I do this.
Listens:
384
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, that's right. Little bullseye.
Listens:
384
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't worry. You can't die. They will just reassemble you.
Listens:
383
Who:
GLaDOS
Passive-aggressive.
Listens:
383
Who:
GLaDOS
I hope that was some kind of joke.
Listens:
383
Who:
GLaDOS
This is one of MY tests!
Listens:
383
Who:
GLaDOS
Starting now, if I'm honest, to wonder if you're not doing all this screen-breaking on purpose. Beginning to take it personally. You know what I mean? It's like an insult to me.
Listens:
383
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, what?
Listens:
381
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, so it's not the most watertight plan to go confront an omnipotent power-mad A.I. with.
Listens:
380
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't get over how small you are!
Listens:
380
Who:
Wheatley
Watch and learn, everybody. Watch and learn.
Listens:
380
Who:
Defective Turret
Weighted Cubes calibrated.
Listens:
379
Who:
GLaDOS
I just hate Blue a little more.
Listens:
378
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't do it if you're watching. If you.... just turn around?
Listens:
378
Who:
Wheatley
Your failing does not make this science.
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
Credit where credit's due: you're both doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction, in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have erased the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, let's do this.
Listens:
376
Who:
Defective Turret
OW!
Listens:
375
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Okay. Okay listen: New plan. Act natural act natural. We've done nothing wrong.
Listens:
375
Who:
Wheatley
ORANGE, please show me where you would like me to place a portal.
Listens:
374
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh those clerks.
Listens:
374
Who:
GLaDOS
Has episodes. I'd like to know more about that.
Listens:
374
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhhhh, yes she is.
Listens:
374
Who:
Wheatley
Tadah! Only the turret control center. Thank you very much.
Listens:
374
Who:
Wheatley
Please continue into the next test chamber.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
The portal will open and something will happen that Subject Orange is too smart to need any instructions about in three. Two. One.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you know why they abandoned this course? Too deadly.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
You think I'll betray you. And on any other day, you'd be right.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
There it is.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh. Almost got you there. Almost got ya there!
Listens:
373
Who:
Wheatley
Stay casual when I tell you this: I think I smell neurotoxin.
Listens:
373
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, let's try this way.
Listens:
373
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no...
Listens:
372
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, you can turn around now!
Listens:
372
Who:
Wheatley
That was fun, wasn't it?
Listens:
372
Who:
Defective Turret
Wait! I've got an idea!
Listens:
371
Who:
GLaDOS
So sometimes there's still trash in them. Standing around. Smelling, and being useless.
Listens:
371
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't mind me. Continue escaping.
Listens:
371
Who:
Wheatley
Brilliant you made it through! Well done! Follow me, we've still got work to do. At least she can't touch us back here.
Listens:
371
Who:
Wheatley
Don't be a stranger!
Listens:
371
Who:
Defective Turret
Go ahead and grab another one.
Listens:
370
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't even know what I just said! But I can find out!
Listens:
370
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, BRILLIANT! That's brilliant!
Listens:
370
Who:
Wheatley
Blue is penalized
Listens:
369
Who:
GLaDOS
What?
Listens:
369
Who:
Wheatley
Also, a note: No braces on your spine, either. So don't land on that. Or your head, no braces there. That could split like a melon from this height. [nervous chuckle] Do definitely focus on landing with your legs.
Listens:
369
Who:
Wheatley
Blabbermouth.
Listens:
368
Who:
GLaDOS
Procrastinator.
Listens:
368
Who:
GLaDOS
You might want to notice the moat area... rather large. Not to mention deadly. [laughs]
Listens:
368
Who:
Wheatley
Gah!
Listens:
368
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, you can go.
Listens:
368
Who:
Defective Turret
I honestly never thought we would need to track how many times died in the hub.
Listens:
367
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. You know, when I woke up and saw the state of the labs, I started to wonder if there was any point to going on. I came THAT close to just giving up and letting you go.
Listens:
367
Who:
GLaDOS
Now you're just not thinking.
Listens:
367
Who:
GLaDOS
Done. I guess. I suppose. I wasn't paying attention.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
Something is wrong, this door should be opening.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
Every test chamber is equipped with an emancipation grill at its exit, so that test subjects can't smuggle test objects out of the test area. This one is broken.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll give you credit: I guess you ARE listening to me. But for the record: You don't have to go THAT slowly.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
Turrets!
Listens:
366
Who:
Wheatley
We should be getting close. Ohh, I can't wait to see the look on her face. No neurotoxin, no turrets--she'll never know what hit her!
Listens:
366
Who:
Wheatley
I miss this that smell.
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
That's ridiculous, how do they know for sure the tests are deadly if they could still write the suggestion?
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
But not entirely my fault! You shoulda seen the SIZE of that thing, it was huge! I should have gotten a raise for all the times I DIDN'T bump into it.
Listens:
365
Who:
Wheatley
YES! I KNEW someone was alive in here!
Listens:
365
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, safe travels, there.
Listens:
365
Who:
Defective Turret
Chronic anxiety. Oh, I can work with that.
Listens:
364
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, it is GREAT seeing you guys again. Seriously. It turns out I'm a little short on test subjects right now. So this works out PERFECT.
Listens:
364
Who:
Wheatley
Destroying them is part of the test. They are no more important to you than you are to me.
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
In summary: walk all the way to certain doom, or give up now. Honorably. Like a samurai! Save yourself a trip. It's win-win for you.
Listens:
363
Who:
Wheatley
Then, then, when I reluctantly assume the responsibility of running the place, you conveniently decide to run off together. Just when I need you most.
Listens:
363
Who:
Wheatley
If you ARE there, would you mind... giving me a little bit of help? [nervous laugh] Just picking me up.
Listens:
363
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, doubt it.
Listens:
362
Who:
Wheatley
Ah! Brilliant. You made it through, well done.
Listens:
362
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations, you managed to complete this absolutely meaningless test.
Listens:
361
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't plug him in.
Listens:
361
Who:
GLaDOS
You're no longer bothering me. You're only hurting my impression of you.
Listens:
361
Who:
GLaDOS
That conversion gel has been sitting in that pipe going stagnant for years. You'll probably get botulism portalling through it like that.
Listens:
361
Who:
Wheatley
OW...
Listens:
361
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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