Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
Oh, what? How stupid does she think we are?
Listens:
458
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
458
Who:
Defective Turret
Maybe I shouldn't send you outside of the official testing courses, you are picking up some bad human traits.
Listens:
457
Who:
GLaDOS
They'll probably throw you a party.
Listens:
457
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent. The Enrichment Center reminds you that bold, persistent experimentation is the hallmark of good science.
Listens:
457
Who:
GLaDOS
Plug me into that stick on the wall over there. I'll show you something.
Listens:
457
Who:
Wheatley
Done. I guess. I suppose. I wasn't paying attention.
Listens:
456
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, BRILLIANT! That's brilliant!
Listens:
456
Who:
Wheatley
Best of luck, lady!
Listens:
456
Who:
Defective Turret
Do something only a human would do.
Listens:
455
Who:
GLaDOS
I know we're in a lot of trouble and probably about to die.
Listens:
455
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes? Something you need?
Listens:
454
Who:
GLaDOS
We're running out of time...
Listens:
453
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, let's do this.
Listens:
452
Who:
Defective Turret
Uh oh.
Listens:
451
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry! Sorry. My fault.
Listens:
451
Who:
Wheatley
Notice the moat area. Very deadly. Extremely dangerous. Eventually. Not at the moment. Still working on it, still working on it.
Listens:
450
Who:
Wheatley
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
450
Who:
Wheatley
How is this even science, without the consequence of death?
Listens:
449
Who:
GLaDOS
A somersault is just falling over in style. Congratulations on being clumsy.
Listens:
449
Who:
GLaDOS
A...A...A...A...A... Umm... A.
Listens:
449
Who:
Wheatley
Weighted Cubes calibrated.
Listens:
448
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, I'd tell you if I were dead. Courtesy. Mark of a civil society. So, just let me know.
Listens:
448
Who:
Wheatley
After you told me to turn the beam off, I thought I'd lost you. Went poking around for other test subjects. No luck there. Everyone's still all dead.
Listens:
448
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! How'd you like that?
Listens:
447
Who:
Core 2
Do you know why they abandoned this course? Too deadly.
Listens:
447
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, sorry. I'm still cleaning out the test chambers.
Listens:
447
Who:
GLaDOS
OW!
Listens:
447
Who:
Wheatley
Go ahead and grab another one.
Listens:
446
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Okay. Okay listen: New plan. Act natural act natural. We've done nothing wrong.
Listens:
446
Who:
Wheatley
To get to the Vault, you are going to need to use all the tricks you have learned. To help, I have made these tests extremely difficult.
Listens:
445
Who:
GLaDOS
Cryptic.
Listens:
445
Who:
GLaDOS
Leave me in! Leave me in! Go press it!
Listens:
445
Who:
Wheatley
Using your ping tool, please indicate where you would like me to place your two portals. Ping each location.
Listens:
444
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfectionist. What's wrong with that?
Listens:
444
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay casual when I tell you this: I think I smell neurotoxin.
Listens:
444
Who:
Wheatley
Abrasive personality.
Listens:
443
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll give you a hint. Button. That's all I'm gonna say. One word. Button.
Listens:
443
Who:
Wheatley
I can drop the fake praise.
Listens:
441
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh. Almost got you there. Almost got ya there!
Listens:
441
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, let's try this way.
Listens:
440
Who:
Wheatley
All right, you know what, it's gonna be best if you can get him to say something first. It's just better if I have a set-up.
Listens:
438
Who:
Core 2
Has episodes. I'd like to know more about that.
Listens:
438
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you just saying that, or is it really going to hurt? You're just saying that aren't you? No, you're not. It is going to hurt, isn't it?
Listens:
438
Who:
Wheatley
Turrets!
Listens:
438
Who:
Wheatley
If you have, in fact, not, you are encouraged to take a moment to reflect on your failure before proceeding into the next chamber.
Listens:
437
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's see what the next test is. Oh. Advanced Aerial Faith Plates.
Listens:
437
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, it is GREAT seeing you guys again. Seriously. It turns out I'm a little short on test subjects right now. So this works out PERFECT.
Listens:
437
Who:
Wheatley
Follow me! You're gonna love this.
Listens:
437
Who:
Wheatley
Blue is penalized
Listens:
436
Who:
GLaDOS
To start preparing for human testing again, I checked an old suggestion box. The number one request? Less deadly tests.
Listens:
436
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, stop moving.
Listens:
436
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, I wasn't going to mention this to you, but I am in PRETTY HOT WATER here.
Listens:
436
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, stand back, everybody.
Listens:
436
Who:
Defective Turret
If the subject survived the test, we let them purchase the pictures for $5. If the subject died, we gave the photo to their next of kin free of charge.
Listens:
435
Who:
GLaDOS
Gah!
Listens:
435
Who:
Wheatley
Okay!
Listens:
435
Who:
Defective Turret
All right. You create a distraction then, and I'll distract him from YOUR distraction.
Listens:
434
Who:
Core 2
Destroying them is part of the test. They are no more important to you than you are to me.
Listens:
434
Who:
GLaDOS
Did anything happen while I was out?
Listens:
434
Who:
GLaDOS
Your failing does not make this science.
Listens:
433
Who:
GLaDOS
Chronic anxiety. Oh, I can work with that.
Listens:
433
Who:
GLaDOS
I hope that was some kind of joke.
Listens:
433
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't do it if you're watching. If you.... just turn around?
Listens:
433
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations, you managed to complete this absolutely meaningless test.
Listens:
432
Who:
GLaDOS
There it is.
Listens:
432
Who:
GLaDOS
Also, a note: No braces on your spine, either. So don't land on that. Or your head, no braces there. That could split like a melon from this height. [nervous chuckle] Do definitely focus on landing with your legs.
Listens:
432
Who:
Wheatley
I just hate Blue a little more.
Listens:
431
Who:
GLaDOS
I swear I know him...
Listens:
430
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't mind me. Continue escaping.
Listens:
430
Who:
Wheatley
That conversion gel has been sitting in that pipe going stagnant for years. You'll probably get botulism portalling through it like that.
Listens:
430
Who:
Wheatley
I'll give you credit: I guess you ARE listening to me. But for the record: You don't have to go THAT slowly.
Listens:
429
Who:
GLaDOS
But not entirely my fault! You shoulda seen the SIZE of that thing, it was huge! I should have gotten a raise for all the times I DIDN'T bump into it.
Listens:
429
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhhhh, yes she is.
Listens:
429
Who:
Wheatley
Open the door!
Listens:
429
Who:
Wheatley
Your ping tool can also be used to indicate to your partner where you would like them to place their portal.
Listens:
428
Who:
GLaDOS
Your vitals remain well within testing norms, so there is no need to worry about sudden death from collaborative shock syndrome.
Listens:
428
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
428
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhhhh!
Listens:
428
Who:
Wheatley
Blue just taught orange a valuable lesson in trust. For that, blue receives 14 science collaboration points.
Listens:
427
Who:
GLaDOS
I miss this that smell.
Listens:
427
Who:
GLaDOS
That's ridiculous, how do they know for sure the tests are deadly if they could still write the suggestion?
Listens:
427
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't get over how small you are!
Listens:
427
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, you can turn around now!
Listens:
424
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I tried.
Listens:
424
Who:
Defective Turret
Congratulations on passing that test.
Listens:
423
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't worry. You can't die. They will just reassemble you.
Listens:
423
Who:
GLaDOS
But why don't we all just agree to call it the hub?
Listens:
422
Who:
GLaDOS
The portal will open and something will happen that Subject Orange is too smart to need any instructions about in three. Two. One.
Listens:
422
Who:
GLaDOS
Agghh!
Listens:
422
Who:
GLaDOS
Now you're just not thinking.
Listens:
422
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I'll take that as a no, then.
Listens:
422
Who:
Wheatley
And she will probably kill us if, um, she's awake.
Listens:
422
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no...
Listens:
422
Who:
Wheatley
Ow!
Listens:
422
Who:
Wheatley
Technical... Ummm... You'll need to turn around while I do this.
Listens:
422
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh...
Listens:
422
Who:
Defective Turret
This lock requires humans.
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not do it!
Listens:
421
Who:
Wheatley
You'll never believe what happened! There I was, just lying there, you thought I was done for, but --
Listens:
421
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
