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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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All right. You create a distraction then, and I'll distract him from YOUR distraction.
Listens:
416
Who:
Core 2
They'll probably throw you a party.
Listens:
416
Who:
GLaDOS
I hope that was some kind of joke.
Listens:
416
Who:
GLaDOS
How is this even science, without the consequence of death?
Listens:
416
Who:
GLaDOS
If groups of hunter-gatherers appear to have made this - or any - test chamber their home, DO NOT AGITATE THEM. Test through them.
Listens:
416
Who:
GLaDOS
Using your ping tool, please indicate where you would like me to place your two portals. Ping each location.
Listens:
415
Who:
GLaDOS
This is AMAZING! We can walk wherever we want! Look, just... go left! No, go right, go right! Don't even care, don't even care, just go where ever you want, couldn't care less.
Listens:
415
Who:
Wheatley
Emotional problems.
Listens:
414
Who:
GLaDOS
The dual portal device should be around here somewhere. Once you find it, we can start testing. Just like old times.
Listens:
414
Who:
GLaDOS
If the subject survived the test, we let them purchase the pictures for $5. If the subject died, we gave the photo to their next of kin free of charge.
Listens:
413
Who:
GLaDOS
If you have, in fact, not, you are encouraged to take a moment to reflect on your failure before proceeding into the next chamber.
Listens:
413
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
413
Who:
Wheatley
Blue is penalized
Listens:
412
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhh, here we go... here it comes...
Listens:
412
Who:
Wheatley
I can't do it if you're watching. If you.... just turn around?
Listens:
412
Who:
Wheatley
Blabbermouth.
Listens:
411
Who:
GLaDOS
This is one of MY tests!
Listens:
411
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry! Sorry. My fault.
Listens:
411
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, what? How stupid does she think we are?
Listens:
411
Who:
Wheatley
Okay!
Listens:
411
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, so it's not the most watertight plan to go confront an omnipotent power-mad A.I. with.
Listens:
409
Who:
GLaDOS
Turrets!
Listens:
409
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh...
Listens:
409
Who:
Defective Turret
The portal will open and something will happen that Subject Orange is too smart to need any instructions about in three. Two. One.
Listens:
408
Who:
GLaDOS
So sometimes there's still trash in them. Standing around. Smelling, and being useless.
Listens:
408
Who:
GLaDOS
Leave me in! Leave me in! Go press it!
Listens:
408
Who:
Wheatley
If you ARE there, would you mind... giving me a little bit of help? [nervous laugh] Just picking me up.
Listens:
408
Who:
Wheatley
Weighted Cubes calibrated.
Listens:
407
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not do it!
Listens:
407
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, let's do this.
Listens:
407
Who:
Defective Turret
To start preparing for human testing again, I checked an old suggestion box. The number one request? Less deadly tests.
Listens:
406
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't plug him in.
Listens:
406
Who:
GLaDOS
Let go!
Listens:
406
Who:
Wheatley
Then, then, when I reluctantly assume the responsibility of running the place, you conveniently decide to run off together. Just when I need you most.
Listens:
405
Who:
Wheatley
Technical... Ummm... You'll need to turn around while I do this.
Listens:
405
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh. Remember when you picked me up? Five seconds ago! Ohhh, that was amazing! Do it again, pick me up again!
Listens:
403
Who:
Wheatley
I don't even know what I just said! But I can find out!
Listens:
402
Who:
Wheatley
Brilliant you made it through! Well done! Follow me, we've still got work to do. At least she can't touch us back here.
Listens:
402
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, what?
Listens:
402
Who:
Defective Turret
Please continue into the next test chamber.
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
Go ahead and grab another one.
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
Destroying them is part of the test. They are no more important to you than you are to me.
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations, you managed to complete this absolutely meaningless test.
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh those clerks.
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhhhh, yes she is.
Listens:
401
Who:
Wheatley
OW!
Listens:
401
Who:
Wheatley
Again, though, for the moment: RUN!
Listens:
401
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, let's try this way.
Listens:
401
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I tried.
Listens:
401
Who:
Defective Turret
Done. I guess. I suppose. I wasn't paying attention.
Listens:
400
Who:
GLaDOS
Your failing does not make this science.
Listens:
400
Who:
GLaDOS
I miss this that smell.
Listens:
400
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you know why they abandoned this course? Too deadly.
Listens:
400
Who:
GLaDOS
Procrastinator.
Listens:
400
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's see what the next test is. Oh. Advanced Aerial Faith Plates.
Listens:
400
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't get over how small you are!
Listens:
400
Who:
Wheatley
Notice the moat area. Very deadly. Extremely dangerous. Eventually. Not at the moment. Still working on it, still working on it.
Listens:
400
Who:
Wheatley
Watch and learn, everybody. Watch and learn.
Listens:
400
Who:
Defective Turret
ORANGE, please show me where you would like me to place a portal.
Listens:
399
Who:
GLaDOS
At the rate you are completing these tests, I am beginning to think you don't share my excitement for rescuing crying trapped injured dying humans.
Listens:
399
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, sorry. I'm still cleaning out the test chambers.
Listens:
399
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, you can turn around now!
Listens:
399
Who:
Wheatley
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction, in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have erased the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
398
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, BRILLIANT! That's brilliant!
Listens:
398
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, that's right. Little bullseye.
Listens:
398
Who:
Defective Turret
Chronic anxiety. Oh, I can work with that.
Listens:
397
Who:
GLaDOS
There it is.
Listens:
397
Who:
GLaDOS
You're no longer bothering me. You're only hurting my impression of you.
Listens:
397
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no...
Listens:
397
Who:
Wheatley
I just hate Blue a little more.
Listens:
396
Who:
GLaDOS
Agghh!
Listens:
396
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll give you credit: I guess you ARE listening to me. But for the record: You don't have to go THAT slowly.
Listens:
396
Who:
GLaDOS
Also, a note: No braces on your spine, either. So don't land on that. Or your head, no braces there. That could split like a melon from this height. [nervous chuckle] Do definitely focus on landing with your legs.
Listens:
396
Who:
Wheatley
Well, you bested me this time.
Listens:
396
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't worry. You can't die. They will just reassemble you.
Listens:
395
Who:
GLaDOS
Has episodes. I'd like to know more about that.
Listens:
395
Who:
GLaDOS
Tadah! Only the turret control center. Thank you very much.
Listens:
395
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh. Almost got you there. Almost got ya there!
Listens:
394
Who:
Wheatley
Stay casual when I tell you this: I think I smell neurotoxin.
Listens:
394
Who:
Wheatley
You think I'll betray you. And on any other day, you'd be right.
Listens:
393
Who:
GLaDOS
We should be getting close. Ohh, I can't wait to see the look on her face. No neurotoxin, no turrets--she'll never know what hit her!
Listens:
393
Who:
Wheatley
Wait! I've got an idea!
Listens:
392
Who:
GLaDOS
A...A...A...A...A... Umm... A.
Listens:
392
Who:
Wheatley
Don't be a stranger!
Listens:
392
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't mind me. Continue escaping.
Listens:
391
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Okay. Okay listen: New plan. Act natural act natural. We've done nothing wrong.
Listens:
391
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations on passing that test.
Listens:
390
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, it is GREAT seeing you guys again. Seriously. It turns out I'm a little short on test subjects right now. So this works out PERFECT.
Listens:
390
Who:
Wheatley
This is the main breaker room. Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
390
Who:
Wheatley
That's ridiculous, how do they know for sure the tests are deadly if they could still write the suggestion?
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
Now you're just not thinking.
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
Something is wrong, this door should be opening.
Listens:
388
Who:
GLaDOS
'Hygiene.' Huh. That's all it says.
Listens:
388
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, doubt it.
Listens:
388
Who:
Wheatley
OW...
Listens:
388
Who:
Wheatley
You'll never believe what happened! There I was, just lying there, you thought I was done for, but --
Listens:
388
Who:
Wheatley
I honestly never thought we would need to track how many times died in the hub.
Listens:
387
Who:
GLaDOS
But not entirely my fault! You shoulda seen the SIZE of that thing, it was huge! I should have gotten a raise for all the times I DIDN'T bump into it.
Listens:
387
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhhhh!
Listens:
387
Who:
Wheatley
Gah!
Listens:
387
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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