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Portal 2
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Finally! I had almost given up hope of ever testing again.
Listens:
367
Who:
GLaDOS
They'll probably throw you a party.
Listens:
367
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on. Get a goooood lonnnnng look.
Listens:
367
Who:
GLaDOS
Either way, I get the impression he's trying to kill us.
Listens:
367
Who:
GLaDOS
If you have, in fact, not, you are encouraged to take a moment to reflect on your failure before proceeding into the next chamber.
Listens:
367
Who:
GLaDOS
Notice the moat area. Very deadly. Extremely dangerous. Eventually. Not at the moment. Still working on it, still working on it.
Listens:
367
Who:
Wheatley
No. Wait, did I do B? Do you have a pen? Start writing these down.
Listens:
367
Who:
Wheatley
Why should I be kept informed about the life functions of the ten thousand bloody test subjects I'm supposed to be in charge of?
Listens:
367
Who:
Wheatley
I’m sorry, Subject Blue.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
At the rate you are completing these tests, I am beginning to think you don't share my excitement for rescuing crying trapped injured dying humans.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
If the subject survived the test, we let them purchase the pictures for $5. If the subject died, we gave the photo to their next of kin free of charge.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
Let go!
Listens:
366
Who:
Wheatley
To start preparing for human testing again, I checked an old suggestion box. The number one request? Less deadly tests.
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't worry. You can't die. They will just reassemble you.
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Oi oi! I'm up here!
Listens:
364
Who:
Wheatley
If groups of hunter-gatherers appear to have made this - or any - test chamber their home, DO NOT AGITATE THEM. Test through them.
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh. Remember when you picked me up? Five seconds ago! Ohhh, that was amazing! Do it again, pick me up again!
Listens:
363
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, let's do this.
Listens:
363
Who:
Defective Turret
Your failing does not make this science.
Listens:
362
Who:
GLaDOS
Starting now, if I'm honest, to wonder if you're not doing all this screen-breaking on purpose. Beginning to take it personally. You know what I mean? It's like an insult to me.
Listens:
362
Who:
Wheatley
Oh those clerks.
Listens:
361
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you have any idea how good this feels?
Listens:
361
Who:
Wheatley
Watch and learn, everybody. Watch and learn.
Listens:
361
Who:
Defective Turret
Uh oh.
Listens:
360
Who:
GLaDOS
Tadah! Only the turret control center. Thank you very much.
Listens:
360
Who:
Wheatley
There it is.
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
Passive-aggressive.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
ORANGE, please show me where you would like me to place a portal.
Listens:
357
Who:
GLaDOS
I just hate Blue a little more.
Listens:
357
Who:
GLaDOS
Brilliant you made it through! Well done! Follow me, we've still got work to do. At least she can't touch us back here.
Listens:
357
Who:
Wheatley
Credit where credit's due: you're both doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
356
Who:
GLaDOS
This is one of MY tests!
Listens:
356
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
356
Who:
Wheatley
Stay casual when I tell you this: I think I smell neurotoxin.
Listens:
356
Who:
Wheatley
Well done. You know, when I woke up and saw the state of the labs, I started to wonder if there was any point to going on. I came THAT close to just giving up and letting you go.
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry! Sorry. My fault.
Listens:
355
Who:
Wheatley
Done. I guess. I suppose. I wasn't paying attention.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you know why they abandoned this course? Too deadly.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
I hope that was some kind of joke.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, so it's not the most watertight plan to go confront an omnipotent power-mad A.I. with.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction, in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have erased the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
Now you're just not thinking.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
Look down. Who's that, down there, talking? It's me! Down on the floor. Needing you to pick me up.
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, you can go.
Listens:
354
Who:
Defective Turret
Go ahead and grab another one.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
So sometimes there's still trash in them. Standing around. Smelling, and being useless.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you just saying that, or is it really going to hurt? You're just saying that aren't you? No, you're not. It is going to hurt, isn't it?
Listens:
352
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Okay. Okay listen: New plan. Act natural act natural. We've done nothing wrong.
Listens:
352
Who:
Wheatley
Don't be a stranger!
Listens:
352
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, let's try this way.
Listens:
351
Who:
Wheatley
That was fun, wasn't it?
Listens:
351
Who:
Defective Turret
I miss this that smell.
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
Has episodes. I'd like to know more about that.
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
If you can get me in front of him, I'll fry every circuit in that little idiot's head.
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
Chronic anxiety. Oh, I can work with that.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you trying to impress me? What would impress me more is if you never did that again.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
Every test chamber is equipped with an emancipation grill at its exit, so that test subjects can't smuggle test objects out of the test area. This one is broken.
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
But not entirely my fault! You shoulda seen the SIZE of that thing, it was huge! I should have gotten a raise for all the times I DIDN'T bump into it.
Listens:
348
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, BRILLIANT! That's brilliant!
Listens:
348
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, safe travels, there.
Listens:
348
Who:
Defective Turret
I can't do it if you're watching. If you.... just turn around?
Listens:
347
Who:
Wheatley
We should be getting close. Ohh, I can't wait to see the look on her face. No neurotoxin, no turrets--she'll never know what hit her!
Listens:
347
Who:
Wheatley
The portal will open and something will happen that Subject Orange is too smart to need any instructions about in three. Two. One.
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
Weighted Cubes calibrated.
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
Wait! I've got an idea!
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
You might want to notice the moat area... rather large. Not to mention deadly. [laughs]
Listens:
346
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, it is GREAT seeing you guys again. Seriously. It turns out I'm a little short on test subjects right now. So this works out PERFECT.
Listens:
346
Who:
Wheatley
OW!
Listens:
346
Who:
Wheatley
YES! I KNEW someone was alive in here!
Listens:
346
Who:
Wheatley
Also, a note: No braces on your spine, either. So don't land on that. Or your head, no braces there. That could split like a melon from this height. [nervous chuckle] Do definitely focus on landing with your legs.
Listens:
346
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, stand back, everybody.
Listens:
346
Who:
Defective Turret
That's ridiculous, how do they know for sure the tests are deadly if they could still write the suggestion?
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
It flew off.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
You think I'll betray you. And on any other day, you'd be right.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
Then, then, when I reluctantly assume the responsibility of running the place, you conveniently decide to run off together. Just when I need you most.
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
Turrets!
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
Something is wrong, this door should be opening.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
Blabbermouth.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
Procrastinator.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, enough about that first person's file. Let's look at some others.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
You find a way to stun him, I'll send you a core, and then you attach it to him. If we do it a few times, he might become corrupt enough for another core transfer.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't plug him in.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
What?
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
Please continue into the next test chamber.
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh. Almost got you there. Almost got ya there!
Listens:
343
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, doubt it.
Listens:
343
Who:
Wheatley
I won't let you down!
Listens:
343
Who:
Defective Turret
I honestly never thought we would need to track how many times died in the hub.
Listens:
342
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, you can turn around now!
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
What'd I hit?
Listens:
342
Who:
Defective Turret
Destroying them is part of the test. They are no more important to you than you are to me.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations, you managed to complete this absolutely meaningless test.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
Thank you, that was very brave of you to tell me.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't even know what I just said! But I can find out!
Listens:
341
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhhhh, yes she is.
Listens:
341
Who:
Wheatley
Gah!
Listens:
341
Who:
Wheatley
Ah! Brilliant. You made it through, well done.
Listens:
341
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, check THIS out.
Listens:
341
Who:
Defective Turret
Congratulations on passing that test.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll give you credit: I guess you ARE listening to me. But for the record: You don't have to go THAT slowly.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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