Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
I created this test to let the humans feel good about themselves. It is extremely easy. Just follow the arrows.
Listens:
362
Who:
GLaDOS
Technical... Ummm... You'll need to turn around while I do this.
Listens:
362
Who:
Wheatley
Maybe I shouldn't send you outside of the official testing courses, you are picking up some bad human traits.
Listens:
361
Who:
GLaDOS
Finally! I had almost given up hope of ever testing again.
Listens:
361
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent. The Enrichment Center reminds you that bold, persistent experimentation is the hallmark of good science.
Listens:
361
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes? Something you need?
Listens:
361
Who:
GLaDOS
No. Wait, did I do B? Do you have a pen? Start writing these down.
Listens:
361
Who:
Wheatley
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
361
Who:
Wheatley
If groups of hunter-gatherers appear to have made this - or any - test chamber their home, DO NOT AGITATE THEM. Test through them.
Listens:
360
Who:
GLaDOS
Starting now, if I'm honest, to wonder if you're not doing all this screen-breaking on purpose. Beginning to take it personally. You know what I mean? It's like an insult to me.
Listens:
360
Who:
Wheatley
Do you have any idea how good this feels?
Listens:
360
Who:
Wheatley
I’m sorry, Subject Blue.
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
To start preparing for human testing again, I checked an old suggestion box. The number one request? Less deadly tests.
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh those clerks.
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh. Remember when you picked me up? Five seconds ago! Ohhh, that was amazing! Do it again, pick me up again!
Listens:
359
Who:
Wheatley
Tadah! Only the turret control center. Thank you very much.
Listens:
359
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, let's do this.
Listens:
359
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't worry. You can't die. They will just reassemble you.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
There it is.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Oi oi! I'm up here!
Listens:
358
Who:
Wheatley
Your failing does not make this science.
Listens:
357
Who:
GLaDOS
At the rate you are completing these tests, I am beginning to think you don't share my excitement for rescuing crying trapped injured dying humans.
Listens:
357
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay casual when I tell you this: I think I smell neurotoxin.
Listens:
356
Who:
Wheatley
Watch and learn, everybody. Watch and learn.
Listens:
356
Who:
Defective Turret
I just hate Blue a little more.
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
Let go!
Listens:
355
Who:
Wheatley
Brilliant you made it through! Well done! Follow me, we've still got work to do. At least she can't touch us back here.
Listens:
355
Who:
Wheatley
This is one of MY tests!
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
ORANGE, please show me where you would like me to place a portal.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
353
Who:
Wheatley
I hope that was some kind of joke.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
Credit where credit's due: you're both doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry! Sorry. My fault.
Listens:
352
Who:
Wheatley
So sometimes there's still trash in them. Standing around. Smelling, and being useless.
Listens:
351
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. You know, when I woke up and saw the state of the labs, I started to wonder if there was any point to going on. I came THAT close to just giving up and letting you go.
Listens:
351
Who:
GLaDOS
Passive-aggressive.
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh oh.
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
Done. I guess. I suppose. I wasn't paying attention.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
Now you're just not thinking.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhh, here we go... here it comes...
Listens:
349
Who:
Wheatley
Are you just saying that, or is it really going to hurt? You're just saying that aren't you? No, you're not. It is going to hurt, isn't it?
Listens:
349
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Okay. Okay listen: New plan. Act natural act natural. We've done nothing wrong.
Listens:
349
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, let's try this way.
Listens:
349
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, you can go.
Listens:
349
Who:
Defective Turret
Do you know why they abandoned this course? Too deadly.
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, so it's not the most watertight plan to go confront an omnipotent power-mad A.I. with.
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction, in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have erased the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
But not entirely my fault! You shoulda seen the SIZE of that thing, it was huge! I should have gotten a raise for all the times I DIDN'T bump into it.
Listens:
347
Who:
Wheatley
Has episodes. I'd like to know more about that.
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
Chronic anxiety. Oh, I can work with that.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
If you can get me in front of him, I'll fry every circuit in that little idiot's head.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
Every test chamber is equipped with an emancipation grill at its exit, so that test subjects can't smuggle test objects out of the test area. This one is broken.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
Look down. Who's that, down there, talking? It's me! Down on the floor. Needing you to pick me up.
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
Also, a note: No braces on your spine, either. So don't land on that. Or your head, no braces there. That could split like a melon from this height. [nervous chuckle] Do definitely focus on landing with your legs.
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, it is GREAT seeing you guys again. Seriously. It turns out I'm a little short on test subjects right now. So this works out PERFECT.
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
I can't do it if you're watching. If you.... just turn around?
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
OW!
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
YES! I KNEW someone was alive in here!
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
We should be getting close. Ohh, I can't wait to see the look on her face. No neurotoxin, no turrets--she'll never know what hit her!
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
Wait! I've got an idea!
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
You might want to notice the moat area... rather large. Not to mention deadly. [laughs]
Listens:
343
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, safe travels, there.
Listens:
343
Who:
Defective Turret
Go ahead and grab another one.
Listens:
342
Who:
GLaDOS
I miss this that smell.
Listens:
342
Who:
GLaDOS
Turrets!
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
Don't be a stranger!
Listens:
342
Who:
Defective Turret
That was fun, wasn't it?
Listens:
342
Who:
Defective Turret
Alright, stand back, everybody.
Listens:
342
Who:
Defective Turret
Weighted Cubes calibrated.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
Blabbermouth.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
You think I'll betray you. And on any other day, you'd be right.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
Then, then, when I reluctantly assume the responsibility of running the place, you conveniently decide to run off together. Just when I need you most.
Listens:
341
Who:
Wheatley
Ah! Brilliant. You made it through, well done.
Listens:
341
Who:
Wheatley
Procrastinator.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
It flew off.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you trying to impress me? What would impress me more is if you never did that again.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, you can turn around now!
Listens:
340
Who:
Wheatley
That's ridiculous, how do they know for sure the tests are deadly if they could still write the suggestion?
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations, you managed to complete this absolutely meaningless test.
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
Thank you, that was very brave of you to tell me.
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, doubt it.
Listens:
339
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhhhh, yes she is.
Listens:
339
Who:
Wheatley
You'll never believe what happened! There I was, just lying there, you thought I was done for, but --
Listens:
339
Who:
Wheatley
I won't let you down!
Listens:
339
Who:
Defective Turret
The portal will open and something will happen that Subject Orange is too smart to need any instructions about in three. Two. One.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, enough about that first person's file. Let's look at some others.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
I honestly never thought we would need to track how many times died in the hub.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
You're no longer bothering me. You're only hurting my impression of you.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh. Almost got you there. Almost got ya there!
Listens:
338
Who:
Wheatley
Gah!
Listens:
338
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, BRILLIANT! That's brilliant!
Listens:
338
Who:
Wheatley
I don't even know what I just said! But I can find out!
Listens:
337
Who:
Wheatley
Run, for goodness sake!
Listens:
337
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, check THIS out.
Listens:
337
Who:
Defective Turret
Destroying them is part of the test. They are no more important to you than you are to me.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't plug him in.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't take anything with you.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
Follow me! You're gonna love this.
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
What'd I hit?
Listens:
336
Who:
Defective Turret
You find a way to stun him, I'll send you a core, and then you attach it to him. If we do it a few times, he might become corrupt enough for another core transfer.
Listens:
335
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
