Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
Technical... Ummm... You'll need to turn around while I do this.
Listens:
373
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, what? How stupid does she think we are?
Listens:
373
Who:
Wheatley
Well, you bested me this time.
Listens:
373
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh, my facility.
Listens:
372
Who:
GLaDOS
If groups of hunter-gatherers appear to have made this - or any - test chamber their home, DO NOT AGITATE THEM. Test through them.
Listens:
372
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent. The Enrichment Center reminds you that bold, persistent experimentation is the hallmark of good science.
Listens:
372
Who:
GLaDOS
Why should I be kept informed about the life functions of the ten thousand bloody test subjects I'm supposed to be in charge of?
Listens:
372
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Oi oi! I'm up here!
Listens:
372
Who:
Wheatley
They'll probably throw you a party.
Listens:
371
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on. Get a goooood lonnnnng look.
Listens:
371
Who:
GLaDOS
Notice the moat area. Very deadly. Extremely dangerous. Eventually. Not at the moment. Still working on it, still working on it.
Listens:
371
Who:
Wheatley
To start preparing for human testing again, I checked an old suggestion box. The number one request? Less deadly tests.
Listens:
370
Who:
GLaDOS
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
370
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I tried.
Listens:
370
Who:
Defective Turret
Uh oh.
Listens:
369
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't get over how small you are!
Listens:
369
Who:
Wheatley
No!
Listens:
369
Who:
Wheatley
Starting now, if I'm honest, to wonder if you're not doing all this screen-breaking on purpose. Beginning to take it personally. You know what I mean? It's like an insult to me.
Listens:
369
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, let's do this.
Listens:
369
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't worry. You can't die. They will just reassemble you.
Listens:
368
Who:
GLaDOS
Your failing does not make this science.
Listens:
367
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh those clerks.
Listens:
367
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh. Remember when you picked me up? Five seconds ago! Ohhh, that was amazing! Do it again, pick me up again!
Listens:
367
Who:
Wheatley
Passive-aggressive.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
I hope that was some kind of joke.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
There it is.
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
Look down. Who's that, down there, talking? It's me! Down on the floor. Needing you to pick me up.
Listens:
365
Who:
Wheatley
Credit where credit's due: you're both doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
364
Who:
GLaDOS
I just hate Blue a little more.
Listens:
364
Who:
GLaDOS
This is one of MY tests!
Listens:
364
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you trying to impress me? What would impress me more is if you never did that again.
Listens:
364
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you have any idea how good this feels?
Listens:
364
Who:
Wheatley
Tadah! Only the turret control center. Thank you very much.
Listens:
364
Who:
Wheatley
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction, in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have erased the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, so it's not the most watertight plan to go confront an omnipotent power-mad A.I. with.
Listens:
362
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry! Sorry. My fault.
Listens:
362
Who:
Wheatley
Stay casual when I tell you this: I think I smell neurotoxin.
Listens:
361
Who:
Wheatley
Watch and learn, everybody. Watch and learn.
Listens:
361
Who:
Defective Turret
Brilliant you made it through! Well done! Follow me, we've still got work to do. At least she can't touch us back here.
Listens:
360
Who:
Wheatley
ORANGE, please show me where you would like me to place a portal.
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you know why they abandoned this course? Too deadly.
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
If you can get me in front of him, I'll fry every circuit in that little idiot's head.
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
Now you're just not thinking.
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhhhh, yes she is.
Listens:
359
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Okay. Okay listen: New plan. Act natural act natural. We've done nothing wrong.
Listens:
359
Who:
Wheatley
Done. I guess. I suppose. I wasn't paying attention.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. You know, when I woke up and saw the state of the labs, I started to wonder if there was any point to going on. I came THAT close to just giving up and letting you go.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, you can go.
Listens:
358
Who:
Defective Turret
So sometimes there's still trash in them. Standing around. Smelling, and being useless.
Listens:
357
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you just saying that, or is it really going to hurt? You're just saying that aren't you? No, you're not. It is going to hurt, isn't it?
Listens:
357
Who:
Wheatley
Don't be a stranger!
Listens:
357
Who:
Defective Turret
Blabbermouth.
Listens:
356
Who:
GLaDOS
Has episodes. I'd like to know more about that.
Listens:
356
Who:
GLaDOS
That was fun, wasn't it?
Listens:
356
Who:
Defective Turret
The portal will open and something will happen that Subject Orange is too smart to need any instructions about in three. Two. One.
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
Please continue into the next test chamber.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
Go ahead and grab another one.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
Chronic anxiety. Oh, I can work with that.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, it is GREAT seeing you guys again. Seriously. It turns out I'm a little short on test subjects right now. So this works out PERFECT.
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, let's try this way.
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
Weighted Cubes calibrated.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
I miss this that smell.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
You might want to notice the moat area... rather large. Not to mention deadly. [laughs]
Listens:
353
Who:
Wheatley
But not entirely my fault! You shoulda seen the SIZE of that thing, it was huge! I should have gotten a raise for all the times I DIDN'T bump into it.
Listens:
353
Who:
Wheatley
Procrastinator.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
Every test chamber is equipped with an emancipation grill at its exit, so that test subjects can't smuggle test objects out of the test area. This one is broken.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't do it if you're watching. If you.... just turn around?
Listens:
352
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, safe travels, there.
Listens:
352
Who:
Defective Turret
Wait! I've got an idea!
Listens:
351
Who:
GLaDOS
YES! I KNEW someone was alive in here!
Listens:
351
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, BRILLIANT! That's brilliant!
Listens:
351
Who:
Wheatley
I won't let you down!
Listens:
351
Who:
Defective Turret
That's ridiculous, how do they know for sure the tests are deadly if they could still write the suggestion?
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
You think I'll betray you. And on any other day, you'd be right.
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no...
Listens:
350
Who:
Wheatley
We should be getting close. Ohh, I can't wait to see the look on her face. No neurotoxin, no turrets--she'll never know what hit her!
Listens:
350
Who:
Wheatley
Something is wrong, this door should be opening.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, enough about that first person's file. Let's look at some others.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
It flew off.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh. Almost got you there. Almost got ya there!
Listens:
349
Who:
Wheatley
Then, then, when I reluctantly assume the responsibility of running the place, you conveniently decide to run off together. Just when I need you most.
Listens:
349
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, doubt it.
Listens:
349
Who:
Wheatley
What?
Listens:
349
Who:
Wheatley
Turrets!
Listens:
349
Who:
Wheatley
OW!
Listens:
349
Who:
Wheatley
Also, a note: No braces on your spine, either. So don't land on that. Or your head, no braces there. That could split like a melon from this height. [nervous chuckle] Do definitely focus on landing with your legs.
Listens:
348
Who:
Wheatley
Don't plug him in.
Listens:
347
Who:
GLaDOS
You're no longer bothering me. You're only hurting my impression of you.
Listens:
347
Who:
GLaDOS
In summary: walk all the way to certain doom, or give up now. Honorably. Like a samurai! Save yourself a trip. It's win-win for you.
Listens:
347
Who:
Wheatley
Gah!
Listens:
347
Who:
Wheatley
Destroying them is part of the test. They are no more important to you than you are to me.
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, stand back, everybody.
Listens:
346
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue is penalized
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations, you managed to complete this absolutely meaningless test.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
I honestly never thought we would need to track how many times died in the hub.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
You find a way to stun him, I'll send you a core, and then you attach it to him. If we do it a few times, he might become corrupt enough for another core transfer.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't even know what I just said! But I can find out!
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
You'll never believe what happened! There I was, just lying there, you thought I was done for, but --
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, you can turn around now!
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
What'd I hit?
Listens:
345
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
