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Portal 2
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You know, I'd tell you if I were dead. Courtesy. Mark of a civil society. So, just let me know.
Listens:
430
Who:
Wheatley
I'll give you a hint. Button. That's all I'm gonna say. One word. Button.
Listens:
430
Who:
Wheatley
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other’s performance so far.
Listens:
429
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh.
Listens:
429
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfectionist. What's wrong with that?
Listens:
429
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah! How'd you like that?
Listens:
428
Who:
Core 2
Ohhhh, here we go... here it comes...
Listens:
428
Who:
Wheatley
Excellent. The Enrichment Center reminds you that bold, persistent experimentation is the hallmark of good science.
Listens:
427
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, stop moving.
Listens:
427
Who:
Wheatley
I don't even know what I just said! But I can find out!
Listens:
427
Who:
Wheatley
After you told me to turn the beam off, I thought I'd lost you. Went poking around for other test subjects. No luck there. Everyone's still all dead.
Listens:
427
Who:
Wheatley
How is this even science, without the consequence of death?
Listens:
426
Who:
GLaDOS
Then, then, when I reluctantly assume the responsibility of running the place, you conveniently decide to run off together. Just when I need you most.
Listens:
426
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry! Sorry. My fault.
Listens:
426
Who:
Wheatley
All right, you know what, it's gonna be best if you can get him to say something first. It's just better if I have a set-up.
Listens:
425
Who:
Core 2
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
425
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, what? How stupid does she think we are?
Listens:
425
Who:
Wheatley
Done. I guess. I suppose. I wasn't paying attention.
Listens:
424
Who:
GLaDOS
Procrastinator.
Listens:
424
Who:
GLaDOS
Go ahead and grab another one.
Listens:
423
Who:
GLaDOS
If the subject survived the test, we let them purchase the pictures for $5. If the subject died, we gave the photo to their next of kin free of charge.
Listens:
423
Who:
GLaDOS
Watch and learn, everybody. Watch and learn.
Listens:
423
Who:
Defective Turret
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction, in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have erased the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
422
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you just saying that, or is it really going to hurt? You're just saying that aren't you? No, you're not. It is going to hurt, isn't it?
Listens:
422
Who:
Wheatley
Blue is penalized
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
Using your ping tool, please indicate where you would like me to place your two portals. Ping each location.
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay!
Listens:
421
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, what?
Listens:
421
Who:
Defective Turret
All right. You create a distraction then, and I'll distract him from YOUR distraction.
Listens:
420
Who:
Core 2
To start preparing for human testing again, I checked an old suggestion box. The number one request? Less deadly tests.
Listens:
420
Who:
GLaDOS
I hope that was some kind of joke.
Listens:
420
Who:
GLaDOS
You're no longer bothering me. You're only hurting my impression of you.
Listens:
420
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't do it if you're watching. If you.... just turn around?
Listens:
420
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Okay. Okay listen: New plan. Act natural act natural. We've done nothing wrong.
Listens:
420
Who:
Wheatley
Weighted Cubes calibrated.
Listens:
419
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
419
Who:
Wheatley
Turrets!
Listens:
419
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, let's do this.
Listens:
419
Who:
Defective Turret
If you have, in fact, not, you are encouraged to take a moment to reflect on your failure before proceeding into the next chamber.
Listens:
418
Who:
GLaDOS
OW!
Listens:
418
Who:
Wheatley
Do you know why they abandoned this course? Too deadly.
Listens:
417
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, sorry. I'm still cleaning out the test chambers.
Listens:
417
Who:
GLaDOS
Leave me in! Leave me in! Go press it!
Listens:
415
Who:
Wheatley
There it is.
Listens:
414
Who:
GLaDOS
A...A...A...A...A... Umm... A.
Listens:
414
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh...
Listens:
414
Who:
Defective Turret
Congratulations, you managed to complete this absolutely meaningless test.
Listens:
413
Who:
GLaDOS
'Hygiene.' Huh. That's all it says.
Listens:
413
Who:
GLaDOS
I just hate Blue a little more.
Listens:
413
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, it is GREAT seeing you guys again. Seriously. It turns out I'm a little short on test subjects right now. So this works out PERFECT.
Listens:
413
Who:
Wheatley
Do not do it!
Listens:
413
Who:
Wheatley
The portal will open and something will happen that Subject Orange is too smart to need any instructions about in three. Two. One.
Listens:
412
Who:
GLaDOS
Notice the moat area. Very deadly. Extremely dangerous. Eventually. Not at the moment. Still working on it, still working on it.
Listens:
412
Who:
Wheatley
Stay casual when I tell you this: I think I smell neurotoxin.
Listens:
412
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, BRILLIANT! That's brilliant!
Listens:
412
Who:
Wheatley
Your failing does not make this science.
Listens:
411
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's see what the next test is. Oh. Advanced Aerial Faith Plates.
Listens:
411
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't get over how small you are!
Listens:
411
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, let's try this way.
Listens:
411
Who:
Wheatley
Blue just taught orange a valuable lesson in trust. For that, blue receives 14 science collaboration points.
Listens:
410
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll give you credit: I guess you ARE listening to me. But for the record: You don't have to go THAT slowly.
Listens:
410
Who:
GLaDOS
Let go!
Listens:
410
Who:
Wheatley
Technical... Ummm... You'll need to turn around while I do this.
Listens:
410
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhhhh, yes she is.
Listens:
409
Who:
Wheatley
Destroying them is part of the test. They are no more important to you than you are to me.
Listens:
408
Who:
GLaDOS
I miss this that smell.
Listens:
408
Who:
GLaDOS
At the rate you are completing these tests, I am beginning to think you don't share my excitement for rescuing crying trapped injured dying humans.
Listens:
408
Who:
GLaDOS
Cryptic.
Listens:
408
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh. Almost got you there. Almost got ya there!
Listens:
408
Who:
Wheatley
That conversion gel has been sitting in that pipe going stagnant for years. You'll probably get botulism portalling through it like that.
Listens:
408
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, you can turn around now!
Listens:
408
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I tried.
Listens:
408
Who:
Defective Turret
Please continue into the next test chamber.
Listens:
407
Who:
GLaDOS
I can drop the fake praise.
Listens:
407
Who:
GLaDOS
That's ridiculous, how do they know for sure the tests are deadly if they could still write the suggestion?
Listens:
407
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh those clerks.
Listens:
407
Who:
GLaDOS
Did anything happen while I was out?
Listens:
407
Who:
GLaDOS
Agghh!
Listens:
407
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't mind me. Continue escaping.
Listens:
407
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh. Remember when you picked me up? Five seconds ago! Ohhh, that was amazing! Do it again, pick me up again!
Listens:
407
Who:
Wheatley
Also, a note: No braces on your spine, either. So don't land on that. Or your head, no braces there. That could split like a melon from this height. [nervous chuckle] Do definitely focus on landing with your legs.
Listens:
407
Who:
Wheatley
ORANGE, please show me where you would like me to place a portal.
Listens:
405
Who:
GLaDOS
Chronic anxiety. Oh, I can work with that.
Listens:
405
Who:
GLaDOS
Abrasive personality.
Listens:
405
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhhhh!
Listens:
405
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no...
Listens:
405
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, stand back, everybody.
Listens:
405
Who:
Defective Turret
Congratulations on passing that test.
Listens:
404
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't worry. You can't die. They will just reassemble you.
Listens:
404
Who:
GLaDOS
Has episodes. I'd like to know more about that.
Listens:
404
Who:
GLaDOS
Now you're just not thinking.
Listens:
404
Who:
GLaDOS
Gah!
Listens:
404
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, that's right. Little bullseye.
Listens:
404
Who:
Defective Turret
Wait! I've got an idea!
Listens:
403
Who:
GLaDOS
Again, though, for the moment: RUN!
Listens:
403
Who:
Wheatley
We should be getting close. Ohh, I can't wait to see the look on her face. No neurotoxin, no turrets--she'll never know what hit her!
Listens:
402
Who:
Wheatley
You think I'll betray you. And on any other day, you'd be right.
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
But not entirely my fault! You shoulda seen the SIZE of that thing, it was huge! I should have gotten a raise for all the times I DIDN'T bump into it.
Listens:
401
Who:
Wheatley
This is the main breaker room. Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
401
Who:
Wheatley
Tadah! Only the turret control center. Thank you very much.
Listens:
401
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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