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Portal 2
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They'll probably throw you a party.
Listens:
451
Who:
GLaDOS
All those pieces of the ceiling that keep falling out? Probably actually pieces of the ceiling, I'll bet. That looked real. But it doesn't signify anything, is my point.
Listens:
451
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, BRILLIANT! That's brilliant!
Listens:
451
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, what?
Listens:
451
Who:
Defective Turret
Do something only a human would do.
Listens:
450
Who:
GLaDOS
'Hygiene.' Huh. That's all it says.
Listens:
450
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes? Something you need?
Listens:
450
Who:
GLaDOS
Plug me into that stick on the wall over there. I'll show you something.
Listens:
450
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, what? How stupid does she think we are?
Listens:
450
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
450
Who:
Defective Turret
You're no longer bothering me. You're only hurting my impression of you.
Listens:
449
Who:
GLaDOS
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
449
Who:
Wheatley
Uh oh.
Listens:
447
Who:
GLaDOS
I know we're in a lot of trouble and probably about to die.
Listens:
447
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, let's do this.
Listens:
446
Who:
Defective Turret
After you told me to turn the beam off, I thought I'd lost you. Went poking around for other test subjects. No luck there. Everyone's still all dead.
Listens:
445
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! How'd you like that?
Listens:
444
Who:
Core 2
How is this even science, without the consequence of death?
Listens:
444
Who:
GLaDOS
A somersault is just falling over in style. Congratulations on being clumsy.
Listens:
444
Who:
GLaDOS
Notice the moat area. Very deadly. Extremely dangerous. Eventually. Not at the moment. Still working on it, still working on it.
Listens:
444
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Okay. Okay listen: New plan. Act natural act natural. We've done nothing wrong.
Listens:
444
Who:
Wheatley
To get to the Vault, you are going to need to use all the tricks you have learned. To help, I have made these tests extremely difficult.
Listens:
443
Who:
GLaDOS
We're running out of time...
Listens:
441
Who:
GLaDOS
Cryptic.
Listens:
440
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry! Sorry. My fault.
Listens:
440
Who:
Wheatley
Leave me in! Leave me in! Go press it!
Listens:
440
Who:
Wheatley
Go ahead and grab another one.
Listens:
439
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you know why they abandoned this course? Too deadly.
Listens:
439
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, sorry. I'm still cleaning out the test chambers.
Listens:
439
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, I'd tell you if I were dead. Courtesy. Mark of a civil society. So, just let me know.
Listens:
439
Who:
Wheatley
Perfectionist. What's wrong with that?
Listens:
438
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll give you a hint. Button. That's all I'm gonna say. One word. Button.
Listens:
438
Who:
Wheatley
Stay casual when I tell you this: I think I smell neurotoxin.
Listens:
438
Who:
Wheatley
OW!
Listens:
438
Who:
Wheatley
I can drop the fake praise.
Listens:
437
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh. Almost got you there. Almost got ya there!
Listens:
437
Who:
Wheatley
A...A...A...A...A... Umm... A.
Listens:
437
Who:
Wheatley
Weighted Cubes calibrated.
Listens:
436
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, stand back, everybody.
Listens:
436
Who:
Defective Turret
Let's see what the next test is. Oh. Advanced Aerial Faith Plates.
Listens:
435
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, stop moving.
Listens:
435
Who:
Wheatley
All right, you know what, it's gonna be best if you can get him to say something first. It's just better if I have a set-up.
Listens:
434
Who:
Core 2
Abrasive personality.
Listens:
434
Who:
GLaDOS
If the subject survived the test, we let them purchase the pictures for $5. If the subject died, we gave the photo to their next of kin free of charge.
Listens:
434
Who:
GLaDOS
Using your ping tool, please indicate where you would like me to place your two portals. Ping each location.
Listens:
433
Who:
GLaDOS
To start preparing for human testing again, I checked an old suggestion box. The number one request? Less deadly tests.
Listens:
432
Who:
GLaDOS
Has episodes. I'd like to know more about that.
Listens:
432
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you just saying that, or is it really going to hurt? You're just saying that aren't you? No, you're not. It is going to hurt, isn't it?
Listens:
432
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, it is GREAT seeing you guys again. Seriously. It turns out I'm a little short on test subjects right now. So this works out PERFECT.
Listens:
431
Who:
Wheatley
All right. You create a distraction then, and I'll distract him from YOUR distraction.
Listens:
430
Who:
Core 2
I hope that was some kind of joke.
Listens:
430
Who:
GLaDOS
If you have, in fact, not, you are encouraged to take a moment to reflect on your failure before proceeding into the next chamber.
Listens:
430
Who:
GLaDOS
Turrets!
Listens:
430
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, I wasn't going to mention this to you, but I am in PRETTY HOT WATER here.
Listens:
430
Who:
Wheatley
Follow me! You're gonna love this.
Listens:
430
Who:
Wheatley
I just hate Blue a little more.
Listens:
429
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't do it if you're watching. If you.... just turn around?
Listens:
429
Who:
Wheatley
Also, a note: No braces on your spine, either. So don't land on that. Or your head, no braces there. That could split like a melon from this height. [nervous chuckle] Do definitely focus on landing with your legs.
Listens:
429
Who:
Wheatley
Gah!
Listens:
429
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, let's try this way.
Listens:
429
Who:
Wheatley
Blue is penalized
Listens:
428
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations, you managed to complete this absolutely meaningless test.
Listens:
428
Who:
GLaDOS
Did anything happen while I was out?
Listens:
428
Who:
GLaDOS
Your failing does not make this science.
Listens:
427
Who:
GLaDOS
Destroying them is part of the test. They are no more important to you than you are to me.
Listens:
427
Who:
GLaDOS
That's ridiculous, how do they know for sure the tests are deadly if they could still write the suggestion?
Listens:
427
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhhhh, yes she is.
Listens:
427
Who:
Wheatley
Okay!
Listens:
427
Who:
Defective Turret
There it is.
Listens:
426
Who:
GLaDOS
That conversion gel has been sitting in that pipe going stagnant for years. You'll probably get botulism portalling through it like that.
Listens:
426
Who:
Wheatley
I can't get over how small you are!
Listens:
426
Who:
Wheatley
I miss this that smell.
Listens:
425
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue just taught orange a valuable lesson in trust. For that, blue receives 14 science collaboration points.
Listens:
424
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't mind me. Continue escaping.
Listens:
424
Who:
Wheatley
But not entirely my fault! You shoulda seen the SIZE of that thing, it was huge! I should have gotten a raise for all the times I DIDN'T bump into it.
Listens:
424
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhhhh!
Listens:
424
Who:
Wheatley
Your vitals remain well within testing norms, so there is no need to worry about sudden death from collaborative shock syndrome.
Listens:
423
Who:
GLaDOS
Chronic anxiety. Oh, I can work with that.
Listens:
423
Who:
GLaDOS
I swear I know him...
Listens:
423
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
423
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, you can turn around now!
Listens:
423
Who:
Wheatley
Your ping tool can also be used to indicate to your partner where you would like them to place their portal.
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't worry. You can't die. They will just reassemble you.
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
Now you're just not thinking.
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
Heh heh heh...
Listens:
421
Who:
Defective Turret
The portal will open and something will happen that Subject Orange is too smart to need any instructions about in three. Two. One.
Listens:
420
Who:
GLaDOS
This lock requires humans.
Listens:
420
Who:
GLaDOS
Agghh!
Listens:
420
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll give you credit: I guess you ARE listening to me. But for the record: You don't have to go THAT slowly.
Listens:
420
Who:
GLaDOS
Open the door!
Listens:
420
Who:
Wheatley
Technical... Ummm... You'll need to turn around while I do this.
Listens:
420
Who:
Wheatley
At the rate you are completing these tests, I am beginning to think you don't share my excitement for rescuing crying trapped injured dying humans.
Listens:
418
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations on passing that test.
Listens:
418
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not do it!
Listens:
418
Who:
Wheatley
Ow!
Listens:
418
Who:
Wheatley
You'll never believe what happened! There I was, just lying there, you thought I was done for, but --
Listens:
418
Who:
Wheatley
Oh those clerks.
Listens:
417
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Oh! Don't leave me behind! Do pick me up, if you would...
Listens:
417
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I tried.
Listens:
417
Who:
Defective Turret
Please continue into the next test chamber.
Listens:
416
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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