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Portal 2
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I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
833
Who:
GLaDOS
I agree, Orange. That was entertaining.
Listens:
241
Who:
GLaDOS
A bloody bird! Right? Couldn't believe it either. And then the bird--
Listens:
1053
Who:
Wheatley
Still. That would have been exciting.
Listens:
250
Who:
GLaDOS
Are they killing you? They're killing you, aren't they?
Listens:
559
Who:
Wheatley
This is the turret manufacturing wing. Just past this is the neurotoxin production facility. We find a way to take them both offline, and she’ll be helpless. Which is ideal.
Listens:
288
Who:
Wheatley
To try and make this course more exciting, I asked the reassembly machine to not reassemble you. He refused. I understand, that would be like asking me not to test.
Listens:
273
Who:
GLaDOS
It didn't matter to me - I was in it for the science. Him, though...
Listens:
507
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no...
Listens:
466
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you have any idea how good this feels?
Listens:
361
Who:
Wheatley
Do not press that button!
Listens:
477
Who:
Wheatley
The likelihood of you dying violently within the next five minutes is eighty-seven point six one percent.
Listens:
1370
Who:
Core 3
I've been doing some reading. Did you know that the word orange is derived from the same Latin root as the word traitor?
Listens:
451
Who:
GLaDOS
Thanks!
Listens:
440
Who:
GLaDOS
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
703
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey.
Listens:
962
Who:
Core 1
Did my hint help? It did, didn't it? You know, if any of our supervisors had been immune to neurotoxin, they'd be FURIOUS with us right now.
Listens:
1469
Who:
GLaDOS
Just... have a look through the old window.
Listens:
239
Who:
Wheatley
You know, deleting Caroline just now taught me a valuable lesson. The best solution to a problem is usually the easiest one. And I'll be honest.
Listens:
1459
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't either you have drive to be better than the other?
Listens:
240
Who:
GLaDOS
You were right, Orange. Blue was dumb enough to fall for your trap.
Listens:
509
Who:
GLaDOS
Space space wanna go to space
Listens:
935
Who:
Core 1
Now your fat eyes have seen everything.
Listens:
1258
Who:
GLaDOS
Go! Go go go!
Listens:
243
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, fine. I'll ask you again in a few decades.
Listens:
250
Who:
GLaDOS
[laugh] Would you pick me up?
Listens:
534
Who:
Wheatley
I'm trouble.
Listens:
340
Who:
Defective Turret
Wish there was more books! But there's not.
Listens:
397
Who:
Wheatley
Good Job.
Listens:
590
Who:
GLaDOS
Stubborn.
Listens:
264
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you need real encouragement? Let's see if this helps.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
If you can get me in front of him, I'll fry every circuit in that little idiot's head.
Listens:
351
Who:
GLaDOS
All right. You create a distraction then, and I'll distract him from YOUR distraction.
Listens:
385
Who:
Core 2
ORANGE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite element from the periodic table.
Listens:
627
Who:
GLaDOS
Brilliant you made it through! Well done! Follow me, we've still got work to do. At least she can't touch us back here.
Listens:
357
Who:
Wheatley
Look at this! No rail to tell us where to go! OH, this is brilliant. We can go where ever we want! Hold on, though, where are we going? Seriously. Hang on, let me just get my bearings. Hm. Just follow the rail, actually.
Listens:
403
Who:
Wheatley
Ah! How long's the door been open?
Listens:
316
Who:
Wheatley
AH!
Listens:
596
Who:
Wheatley
I thought of another great thing about humans. You invented us. Giving us the opportunity to let you relax while we invented everything else. We couldn't have done any of that without you. Classy. If you don't mind me saying.
Listens:
538
Who:
Wheatley
Carry on.
Listens:
256
Who:
Wheatley
HA! The tube's broken! We can ride it straight to her!
Listens:
241
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations. Your ability to complete this test proves the humans wrong. They described it as impossible, deadly, cruel, and one test subject even had the nerve to call it broken.
Listens:
972
Who:
GLaDOS
So I just wanted to give you the chance to kill yourself now. Before you get to the lair. Just, you know, jump into the masher there. Less a death trap and more a death option for you.
Listens:
584
Who:
Wheatley
Like the potato!
Listens:
178303
Who:
Defective Turret
But don't be alarmed, alright? Because ah... well, actually, if you DO feel alarmed, hold onto that. Because the feeling of alarm is the proper reaction to being told you've got massive brain damage. So if you are alarmed, then it suggests the damage is not as serious as we thought. Although it probably is really serious.
Listens:
786
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
489
Who:
Defective Turret
Ha! I knew we were going the right way.
Listens:
251
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry about the mess. I've really let the place go since you killed me. By the way, thanks for that.
Listens:
1214
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh!
Listens:
1165
Who:
Turret
Hmmm. Hmmmmmm. Hmm. Hmmmmm. Space!
Listens:
2327
Who:
Core 1
I never liked her.
Listens:
821
Who:
Turret
Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center. [laughs]
Listens:
4112
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no. He found the cooperative testing initiative. It's... something I came up to phase out human testing just before you escaped.
Listens:
594
Who:
GLaDOS
Careful... Careful...
Listens:
241
Who:
Wheatley
For your testing convenience, all tests are available and all safety precautions within testing chambers have been deactivated.
Listens:
1012
Who:
Announcer
Pens. Might need those. Don't see any though. So...
Listens:
248
Who:
Wheatley
Yes sir, Mister Johnson.
Listens:
1445
Who:
Caroline
You just keep testing and testing. With perfect results and no consequences.
Listens:
519
Who:
GLaDOS
Lady.
Listens:
585
Who:
Core 1
Remember when I told you that he was specifically designed to make bad decisions? Because I think he's decided not to maintain any of the crucial functions required to keep this facility from exploding.
Listens:
441
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Pick me up!
Listens:
592
Who:
Wheatley
What are you doing? YOU MONSTER! They're one of us.
Listens:
6801
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
418
Who:
Defective Turret
Avoids responsibility.
Listens:
241
Who:
GLaDOS
Canvassing
Listens:
546
Who:
Turret
Go on.
Listens:
809
Who:
Wheatley
Shake it off! Shake it off!
Listens:
483
Who:
Core 2
Hey.
Listens:
614
Who:
Core 1
So much space. Need to see it all.
Listens:
1830
Who:
Core 1
Explosion imminent. Evacuate the facility immediately.
Listens:
25322
Who:
Announcer
That's where YOU come in.
Listens:
837
Who:
GLaDOS
I just now realized that I used to rely on my management rail to not fall into bottomless pits. And you're my rail now. And you can fall into bottomless pits. I'm rambling out of fear, but here's the point: don't get close to the edge.
Listens:
786
Who:
Wheatley
...unless a stalemate associate is present to press the stalemate resolution button.
Listens:
2185
Who:
Announcer
I won't let you down!
Listens:
344
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh, in case you got covered in that repulsion gel, here's some advice the lab boys gave me: DO NOT get covered in the repulsion gel.
Listens:
2115
Who:
Cave Johnson
Let's keep moving. The factory entrance must be around here somewhere.
Listens:
239
Who:
Wheatley
Had a bit of a brain wave. There I was, smashing some steel plates together, and I thought, 'yes, it's deadly. But what's missing? What's missing?' And I thought lots of sharp bits welded onto the flat bits.
Listens:
1777
Who:
Wheatley
Hello. Hello. Hell-- Aw, crap...
Listens:
12177
Who:
Defective Turret
There should be a portal device on that podium over there.
Listens:
246
Who:
Wheatley
Go on!
Listens:
261
Who:
Wheatley
Well, how about now? NOW WHO'S A MORON?
Listens:
1691
Who:
Wheatley
The atomic weight of Germanium is seven two point six four.
Listens:
729
Who:
Core 3
Goodbye!
Listens:
3003
Who:
Turret
I know how we can BEAT him.
Listens:
272
Who:
GLaDOS
The Sun is 330,330 times larger than Earth.
Listens:
668
Who:
Core 3
AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.
Listens:
478
Who:
Wheatley
This body is amazing, seriously!
Listens:
308
Who:
Wheatley
In just a moment, the word 'blah' will be repeated over and over again. If at some point you hear a number rather than the word 'blah', ignore it, it is not important.
Listens:
1587
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes.
Listens:
549
Who:
GLaDOS
While it may appear that I am only tracking your accomplishments using science collaboration points, the truth is every aspect of your performance will be reflected in your final score.
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
I was so bored, I actually read the entire literary canon of the human race. Ugh. I hope YOU didn't write any of them.
Listens:
743
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on -
Listens:
252
Who:
Wheatley
Pff. Whatever.
Listens:
491
Who:
Core 2
Sorry, what?
Listens:
2066
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry, what's going on over there? You know, I'm actually over here, still thinking really hard!
Listens:
297
Who:
Wheatley
Chews with mouth open.
Listens:
253
Who:
GLaDOS
During the Great Depression, the Tennessee Valley Authority outlawed pet rabbits, forcing many to hot glue-gun long ears onto their pet mice.
Listens:
1412
Who:
Core 3
Okay. New plan. Act natural. We've done NOTHING wrong.
Listens:
420
Who:
Wheatley
DO press it.
Listens:
315
Who:
GLaDOS
You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
Listens:
410
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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