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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Blue, you go first.
Listens:
351
Who:
GLaDOS
Warning. Reactor core is at critical temperature.
Listens:
19704
Who:
Announcer
Still held! Still bein' held. That's a great job. You've applied the grip. We're all fine. That's tremendous.
Listens:
308
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, brilliant. You DID find a portal gun! You know what? It just goes to show: people with brain damage are the real heroes in the end aren't they? At the end of the day. Brave.
Listens:
2864
Who:
Wheatley
Whatever he does, it isn't important enough for anyone to bother writing it down. For all I know, he doesn't even work here.
Listens:
515
Who:
GLaDOS
[yelling]
Listens:
590
Who:
Wheatley
Uh oh.
Listens:
435
Who:
Wheatley
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Oh yeah!
Listens:
667
Who:
Core 2
By completing all test courses, you have achieved Level C security clearance. You may now access all testing courses and three of Aperture Science's 176 restrooms.
Listens:
1283
Who:
Announcer
Run! I don't need to do the voice. RUN!
Listens:
657
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
611
Who:
Defective Turret
You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, look up at the ceiling. [BUZZER]
Listens:
2943
Who:
Announcer
To reiterate: This is not a competition.
Listens:
659
Who:
GLaDOS
I think we're in trouble.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
Timid.
Listens:
291
Who:
GLaDOS
Only three more chambers until your big surprise! [maniacal laughter] Ohhh, that's tiring.
Listens:
2097
Who:
Wheatley
Might want to just pick me up.
Listens:
273
Who:
Wheatley
No, you should plug that little idiot into the mainframe!
Listens:
670
Who:
Wheatley
Jammed 'em all together. Buttons. Got funnels. Bottomless pits are involved. It's got it all, it's absolute dynamite.
Listens:
512
Who:
Wheatley
Ow. I hate this bird.
Listens:
1949
Who:
GLaDOS
Excuse me?
Listens:
844
Who:
Turret
Here we are. The Incinerator Room. Be careful not to trip over any parts of me that didn't get completely burned when you threw them down here.
Listens:
781
Who:
GLaDOS
So. How are you holding up?
Listens:
2403
Who:
GLaDOS
Take me with you...
Listens:
937
Who:
Turret
Ungh!
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
Just, ah... pick me up. Take me with you.
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
Ha... That sounded real. No! That was actually an impression of you. Actually. Because you just fell into my trap. My brilliant trap. Just then. I wanted you to trick me into bursting that pipe. You didn't trick me. Seemingly trick me. Gives you false hope. Leads to overconfidence. And that leads to mistakes. Fatal mistakes. It's all part of my plan.
Listens:
2053
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, stop moving.
Listens:
418
Who:
Wheatley
It's alright! Everything's good. I just invented some more tests!
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
Pull me out pull me out pull me out pull me out pull me out pull me out pull me out!
Listens:
2848
Who:
Wheatley
Perfect. Now All YOU have to do is capture them for me. Then everything will finally be ba--
Listens:
802
Who:
GLaDOS
In summary: walk all the way to certain doom, or give up now. Honorably. Like a samurai! Save yourself a trip. It's win-win for you.
Listens:
375
Who:
Wheatley
I give you a score of 3.4 for style and 10 for being annoying.
Listens:
1348
Who:
GLaDOS
Second time's a charm...
Listens:
752
Who:
Defective Turret
Hold on! The neurotoxin levels are going down.
Listens:
332
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, let me explain again. Pop a portal. Behind me. Alright? And come on through.
Listens:
286
Who:
Wheatley
That's ridiculous, how do they know for sure the tests are deadly if they could still write the suggestion?
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
[to self] Hm. Could be Spanish, could be Spanish. [loud again] Hola, amigo! Abre la puerta! Donde esta--no. Um...
Listens:
2546
Who:
Wheatley
Still running. Alright. Looks tiring. Tell you what - you stop running and I'll stop bombing you... That seems fair.
Listens:
486
Who:
Wheatley
Hey hey! You made it!
Listens:
296
Who:
Wheatley
It's healthy for you to have other friends. To look for qualities in other people that I obviously lack.
Listens:
553
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations, you managed to complete this absolutely meaningless test.
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
Excuse me, you’re squishing me.
Listens:
3429
Who:
Turret
I consider that a failing, by the way.
Listens:
654
Who:
GLaDOS
Gah!
Listens:
387
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Here we go...
Listens:
1214
Who:
Wheatley
You're going to hurt yourself doing that and then I will be ECSTATIC.
Listens:
796
Who:
GLaDOS
Not so fast!
Listens:
578
Who:
GLaDOS
Well. This is the part where he kills us.
Listens:
1610
Who:
GLaDOS
Nooooo. No, I don't think it is. I think you're wrong.
Listens:
2115
Who:
Wheatley
You know, in some human sports, the winner is the one who scores the fewest possible points?
Listens:
298
Who:
GLaDOS
And we're only seeing the top layer. It goes down for miles.
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
Just... have a look through the old window.
Listens:
288
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, where are we goingNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Listens:
3867
Who:
Defective Turret
I didn't mean to make you feel bad earlier about your tests not being real science. I guess finding out they weren't science was some sort of test in and of itself.
Listens:
304
Who:
GLaDOS
Arrrrgh!
Listens:
750
Who:
Turret
I lied.
Listens:
766
Who:
GLaDOS
Get ready for it!
Listens:
367
Who:
Defective Turret
The humans closed this test because they said it was too deadly. I thought they would have moved it into the testing track hall of fame for that, not let it deteriorate.
Listens:
452
Who:
GLaDOS
The point is: If we can store music on a compact disc, why can't we store a man's intelligence and personality on one? So I have the engineers figuring that out now.
Listens:
1961
Who:
Cave Johnson
Go on!
Listens:
273
Who:
Wheatley
And then you showed up. You dangerous, mute lunatic. So you know what?
Listens:
3284
Who:
GLaDOS
Otherwise, I'm afraid you're about to become the immediate past president of the Being Alive club. Ha ha.
Listens:
3603
Who:
GLaDOS
Waitwaitwait. Ohhhh. Not helpful. Rrrrrg. Don't know why I thought that would help.
Listens:
1178
Who:
Wheatley
For instance, Blue, you just lost two opportunity advisement points.
Listens:
280
Who:
GLaDOS
Wow.
Listens:
739
Who:
GLaDOS
Prometheus was punished by the gods for giving the gift of knowledge to man. He was cast into the bowels of the earth and pecked by birds.
Listens:
43751
Who:
Turret
Her name is Caroline.
Listens:
4266
Who:
Turret
Never on time.
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
I went and spoke with the door mainframe. Let's just say he won't be... well, living anymore. Anyway, back to testing.
Listens:
1459
Who:
GLaDOS
It's not like I've got hordes of replacement monitors just lying around back here in the old warehouse that I can just wheel out an bolt back on. I didn't order in loads of spare monitors thinking some crazy woman was going to go around smashing them all. Sorry if that's my fault. Sorry if I didn't have the forethought to think oh she might go crazy one day instead of just getting on with things. Sorry I didn't think of that.
Listens:
8972
Who:
Wheatley
QUICK: WHAT'S THE SITUATION? Oh, hello angel. I guess I must have died and gone to heaven. Name's Rick. So, you out having yourself a little adventure?
Listens:
3742
Who:
Core 2
Alright. Still nothing, let's keep moving.
Listens:
291
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, that's right! Still defective!
Listens:
853
Who:
Defective Turret
Ah! Perhaps the turrets have found a way to use garrotes. That would explain the extremely... quiet killing. That I'm hearing.
Listens:
697
Who:
Wheatley
Howdy, stranger! We're back!
Listens:
870
Who:
Defective Turret
It's happening sooner than I expected.
Listens:
314
Who:
GLaDOS
Blah.
Listens:
1584
Who:
GLaDOS
Now, you are just wasting my time.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah.
Listens:
443
Who:
Defective Turret
Alright, going on three just gives you too much time to think about it. Let's, uh, go on one this time. Okay, ready?
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
I love it too. There's just one small thing we need to take care of first.
Listens:
669
Who:
GLaDOS
This isn't fair!
Listens:
642
Who:
Defective Turret
Keep it up, baby! You're creamin' him!
Listens:
473
Who:
Core 2
Oh, just open the door! [to self] That's too aggressive. [loud again] Hello, friend! Why not open the door?
Listens:
3903
Who:
Wheatley
This place is huge.
Listens:
359
Who:
Wheatley
Look, you're... doing a great job. Can you handle things for yourself for a while? I need to think.
Listens:
535
Who:
GLaDOS
So I've been thinking: We need humans for these tests. And since the only human within a thousand miles of us is a test-ruining sociopath... I'll just have to MAKE some.
Listens:
1552
Who:
GLaDOS
You both made it. It seems no matter what I try to do to pull you apart or destroy you, you just keep going. Keep testing.
Listens:
321
Who:
GLaDOS
No sense of humor.
Listens:
326
Who:
GLaDOS
Something’s wrong...
Listens:
887
Who:
Turret
Just stop it already.
Listens:
619
Who:
GLaDOS
You should see yourselves right now.
Listens:
1333
Who:
GLaDOS
They'll probably throw you a party.
Listens:
416
Who:
GLaDOS
Has episodes. I'd like to know more about that.
Listens:
395
Who:
GLaDOS
Those of you who volunteered to be injected with praying mantis DNA, I've got some good news and some bad news.
Listens:
4926
Who:
Cave Johnson
If he's not getting his solution euphoria, we could be in a lot of trouble.
Listens:
458
Who:
GLaDOS
ORANGE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite element from the periodic table.
Listens:
707
Who:
GLaDOS
Always sulking.
Listens:
282
Who:
GLaDOS
Apparently this human escaped and nobody's seen him since.
Listens:
321
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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