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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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One of these times you'll be so fat that you'll jump, and you'll just drop like a stone. Into acid, probably. Like a potato into a deep fat fryer.
Listens:
18583
Who:
GLaDOS
Hopeless. Just hopeless.
Listens:
511
Who:
GLaDOS
I, uh... I am a bad man.
Listens:
894
Who:
Defective Turret
No!
Listens:
680
Who:
Wheatley
I can't move. And unless you're planning to saw your own head off and wedge it into my old body, you're going to need me to replace him. We're at an impasse.
Listens:
932
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't shoot!
Listens:
2529
Who:
Turret
Ignores task at hand. Won't for long.
Listens:
523
Who:
GLaDOS
You two are going to LOVE this big surprise. In fact, you might say that you're both going to love it to death. Love it... until it kills you. Until you're dead.
Listens:
3555
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, how ya doin'?
Listens:
502
Who:
Defective Turret
Frequent bouts of uncontrollable rage.
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
Space space wanna go to space
Listens:
2310
Who:
Core 1
It's probably nothing. Keep testing while I look for a way out.
Listens:
314
Who:
GLaDOS
Lady.
Listens:
1186
Who:
Core 1
We all agree you should stop.
Listens:
387
Who:
GLaDOS
Sleep mode activated
Listens:
6449
Who:
Turret
That's his voice up ahead.
Listens:
330
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you doing?
Listens:
1080
Who:
Turret
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
3437
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, that should do it.
Listens:
298
Who:
Wheatley
Allright. Preparing to interface with the neurotoxin central control circuit. Begin: 'Ello, guv! Neurotoxin inspectah! Need to shut this place down for a moment! Here's my credentials. Shut yourself down. I am totally legit. From the board of international neurotoxin... um... observers. From the United... Arab Emirates. Hello.
Listens:
3901
Who:
Wheatley
If I made these tests any easier, they wouldn't be tests.
Listens:
324
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes? Something you need?
Listens:
454
Who:
GLaDOS
Those people, in the portrait. They look so familiar...
Listens:
407
Who:
GLaDOS
Quick question: Have you been working out? Because there's no evidence of it. I'm not a plastic cup. We will be landing with some force. So a bit of grip. Just using grip. Classic grip.
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
And as soon as I can PROVE it, the laws of robotics allow me to terminate you for being a liar.
Listens:
739
Who:
GLaDOS
Always sulking.
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
I know you like to think the reassembly machine is at your beck and call, but he has a life you know. He's not your slave.
Listens:
379
Who:
GLaDOS
Machiavellian!
Listens:
1092
Who:
Wheatley
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
557
Who:
Wheatley
Probably ought to bring you up to speed on something right now.
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
1140
Who:
Defective Turret
We will both die because of your negligence.
Listens:
1270
Who:
Core 3
Puppet master! You're a puppet in a play, and I hold all the strings! And cards, still. Cards in one hand, strings in the other. And I'm making you dance like a puppet. Playing cards.
Listens:
2650
Who:
Wheatley
How about a knife, then? You keep the gun, I'll use a knife.
Listens:
557
Who:
Core 2
Well, you bested me this time.
Listens:
407
Who:
Defective Turret
Two
Listens:
614
Who:
GLaDOS
It is tricky. It is tricky. But just... plug me in, please.
Listens:
316
Who:
Wheatley
I’m scared!
Listens:
757
Who:
Turret
You seem to have defeated its load-bearing capacity. Well done. I'll just lower the ceiling.
Listens:
573
Who:
GLaDOS
There's another wall over here!
Listens:
308
Who:
Wheatley
Where are you going? Don't run! Don't run! I'll tell you why you shouldn't run: The harder you breathe, the more neurotoxin you'll inhale. It's bloody clever, this stuff. Seriously, it's devilish.
Listens:
671
Who:
Wheatley
Right. Hmm. I'm gonna have to hack the door so we can get at it.
Listens:
365
Who:
Wheatley
Aggh! I'm going the wrong way!
Listens:
353
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, great! Here comes another core!
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
YEEEHAAAAAW!
Listens:
12451
Who:
Core 1
Oh no no no... No! Nooo!
Listens:
9929
Who:
Wheatley
This is just a thought experiment, just to see how much time you'll waste thinking about these worthless documents. The correct time is zero seconds.
Listens:
532
Who:
GLaDOS
Try to jump across.
Listens:
298
Who:
Wheatley
three
Listens:
691
Who:
GLaDOS
If you have, in fact, not, you are encouraged to take a moment to reflect on your failure before proceeding into the next chamber.
Listens:
437
Who:
GLaDOS
Please note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it.
Listens:
1081
Who:
Announcer
I lied.
Listens:
799
Who:
GLaDOS
Not interested in anything else. Don't TOUCH anything else. Don't even LOOK at anything else, just--well, obviously you've got to look at everything else to find ESCAPE POD, but as soon as you've looked at something and it doesn't say ESCAPE POD, look at something else, look at the next thing. Alright? But don't touch anything else or look at any--well, look at other things, but don't... you understand.
Listens:
1672
Who:
Wheatley
I miss this that smell.
Listens:
427
Who:
GLaDOS
Dull expression.
Listens:
347
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, alright.
Listens:
499
Who:
Defective Turret
Take me with you? Please?
Listens:
910
Who:
Defective Turret
Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I'm in space!
Listens:
376347
Who:
Core 1
You’ve made your point.
Listens:
831
Who:
Turret
Stop touching each other!
Listens:
663
Who:
GLaDOS
Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens.
Listens:
2049
Who:
Core 3
I made it all up.
Listens:
1037
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center.
Listens:
5410
Who:
Announcer
Designed this test myself. It's a little bit difficult.
Listens:
317
Who:
Wheatley
Being Caroline taught me another valuable lesson: where Caroline lives in my brain.
Listens:
931
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m afraid of heights!
Listens:
1296
Who:
Turret
We're so close! Go press the button!
Listens:
1534
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. He's not even trying to be subtle anymore.
Listens:
864
Who:
GLaDOS
It's not, though.
Listens:
647
Who:
GLaDOS
What's happening? Um. Hmm... Ok.
Listens:
331
Who:
Wheatley
Hello.
Listens:
1132
Who:
Defective Turret
Brilliant you made it through! Well done! Follow me, we've still got work to do. At least she can't touch us back here.
Listens:
477
Who:
Wheatley
Non-defective turret testing active.
Listens:
933
Who:
Announcer
No knife? That's fine. I know all about pressure points.
Listens:
491
Who:
Core 2
If you want to just call it quits, we could just sit here. Forever. That's an option. Option A: Sit here. Do nothing. Option B: Go through there, and if she's alive, she'll almost certainly kill us.
Listens:
556
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, buddy!
Listens:
726
Who:
Wheatley
I'm starting to think you don't want to rescue the humans.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
You are about to get me killed.
Listens:
1630
Who:
Core 3
Yes, you 'solved' it, but I'm wondering if there are a number of ways to solve them and you're picking all the worst ways.
Listens:
491
Who:
Wheatley
There must be something wrong with the reassembly machine.
Listens:
1213
Who:
GLaDOS
Pants were invented by sailors in the sixteenth century to avoid Poseidon's wrath. It was believed that the sight of naked sailors angered the sea god.
Listens:
2240
Who:
Core 3
Okay. New plan. Act natural. We've done NOTHING wrong.
Listens:
515
Who:
Wheatley
I'm going to space.
Listens:
1207
Who:
Core 1
Did you feel that? That idiot doesn't know what he's doing up there. This whole place is going to explode in a few hours if somebody doesn't disconnect him.
Listens:
1314
Who:
GLaDOS
You were right, Orange. Blue was dumb enough to fall for your trap.
Listens:
641
Who:
GLaDOS
Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
518
Who:
Wheatley
Either way, I get the impression he's trying to kill us.
Listens:
476
Who:
GLaDOS
No no, no no, no no, whoa whoa, no, whoa!
Listens:
889
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey hey! You made it!
Listens:
312
Who:
Wheatley
Excellent work.
Listens:
356
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh God! Oh, don't need to do that anymore. The jig is up, RUN!
Listens:
950
Who:
Wheatley
Now you're thinking with stupidity.
Listens:
1967
Who:
GLaDOS
They're not even your screens to break. It's vandalism. It's pure vandalism. You wouldn't do this if this was your house, would you? If I came around to your house smashin' your telly to bits, you'd be furious. And rightly so. Unbelievable.
Listens:
981
Who:
Wheatley
Oh... can someone reassemble Orange?
Listens:
301
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay calm! 'Prepare' - that's all they're saying. 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm gonna get us out of here.
Listens:
629
Who:
Wheatley
Now she'll argue. She'll say she can't. She's modest like that. But you make her.
Listens:
1885
Who:
Cave Johnson
'Caw! Caw!' Oh, look! There's a bird out here! A Lovely bird. Gorgeous plumage. Majestic. Won't be here long. A lovely bird like that. Once in a lifetime opportunity to see a lovely bird like that. Lovely plumage.
Listens:
4244
Who:
Wheatley
Dammit, we know! Everybody knows! Space! You! In it! We get it!
Listens:
32071
Who:
Core 2
Ahhhhhh. 'FALSE'. I'll go 'false'.
Listens:
5743
Who:
Wheatley
It's eating me.
Listens:
560
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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