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Portal 2
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Crap!
Listens:
1242
Who:
Defective Turret
So what am I, uh, supposed to do here?
Listens:
1241
Who:
Defective Turret
The end?
Listens:
1240
Who:
GLaDOS
If you think trapping yourself is going to make me stop testing, you're sorely mistaken. Here's another cube.
Listens:
1237
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, let's get started. This first test involves something the lab boys call 'repulsion gel.'
Listens:
1233
Who:
Cave Johnson
Before re-entering a relaxation vault at the conclusion of testing, please take a moment to write down the results of your test. An Aperture Science Reintegration Associate will revive you for an interview when society has been rebuilt.
Listens:
1229
Who:
Announcer
The Fact Sphere is the most handsome sphere.
Listens:
1229
Who:
Core 3
A bloody bird! Right? Couldn't believe it either. And then the bird--
Listens:
1226
Who:
Wheatley
Woooaaah!
Listens:
1220
Who:
Turret
There must be something wrong with the reassembly machine.
Listens:
1214
Who:
GLaDOS
I blame myself.
Listens:
1212
Who:
Turret
I'm going to space.
Listens:
1211
Who:
Core 1
Space.
Listens:
1208
Who:
Core 1
Good news: that is NOT a docking station. So there's one mystery solved. I'm going to attempt a manual override on this wall. Could get a bit technical! Hold on!
Listens:
1206
Who:
Wheatley
Illegal operation
Listens:
1198
Who:
Turret
So. Boom. Better offer here is just kill yourself. Seems like a lot of effort to walk all the way to my deadly lair, when there's a perfectly serviceable death option right there. Again: not a death trap. Your death would be entirely voluntary. And very much appreciated.
Listens:
1194
Who:
Wheatley
I HAVE to test. All the time. Or I get this... this ITCH. It must be hardwired into the system or something.
Listens:
1194
Who:
Wheatley
Lady.
Listens:
1189
Who:
Core 1
Most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished. I want to congratulate you on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds.
Listens:
1188
Who:
GLaDOS
Humans can survive underwater. But not for very long.
Listens:
1187
Who:
Core 3
I'm sorry, I don't know why that went off. Anyway, just an interesting science fact.
Listens:
1186
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't want to alarm either of you, but we might have a tiny problem. Apparently you can't test unless you're human. Well - you CAN. It's just that, results-wise, the physical universe doesn't care.
Listens:
1183
Who:
GLaDOS
Thanks anyway...
Listens:
1183
Who:
Turret
Oh. Disappointing.
Listens:
1180
Who:
Wheatley
What are you doing, are you just having a little five minutes to yourself? Fair enough. You've had a rough time. You've been asleep for who knows how long. You've got the massive brain damage. And you're having a little rest. But NOW. Get yourself up. And pick me up.
Listens:
1180
Who:
Wheatley
Gotta go to space. Yeah. Gotta go to space.
Listens:
1177
Who:
Core 1
*cough* Press the button, would you?
Listens:
1173
Who:
Wheatley
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork, and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other's performance so far.
Listens:
1171
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
1168
Who:
Turret
For your testing convenience, all tests are available and all safety precautions within testing chambers have been deactivated.
Listens:
1167
Who:
Announcer
Now let's continue testing.
Listens:
1164
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes!
Listens:
1163
Who:
GLaDOS
Wanna go to earth.
Listens:
1160
Who:
Core 1
The billionth digit of Pi is 9.
Listens:
1156
Who:
Core 3
Heh heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
1156
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you trying to weigh me down? Think I'll fall out of the ceiling? Won't work. I'm not just quite brilliant, I'm also quite strong. Biggest muscle in my body: my brain. Second biggest: My muscles. So, it's not going to work. Clearly.
Listens:
1155
Who:
Wheatley
As founder and CEO of Aperture Science, I thank you for your participation and hope we can count on you for another round of tests.
Listens:
1153
Who:
Cave Johnson
I found some bird eggs up here. Just dropped 'em into the door mechanism. Shut it right down. I--AGH!
Listens:
1152
Who:
Wheatley
You know, there are test subjects in Africa who don't even have monitors in their test chambers. Why don't you think of that before you break any more of them?
Listens:
1149
Who:
Wheatley
Yes! Go and catch one of the crap turrets, and bring it back!
Listens:
1148
Who:
Wheatley
Dental floss has superb tensile strength.
Listens:
1144
Who:
Core 3
Let go! Let go! I'm still connected. I can pull myself in. I can still fix this!
Listens:
1142
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
1140
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm sorry. The arrows seem to have rusted off. Good luck.
Listens:
1139
Who:
GLaDOS
Before the Wright Brothers invented the airplane, anyone wanting to fly anywhere was required to eat 200 pounds of helium.
Listens:
1138
Who:
Core 3
Congratulations on successfully returning to the central hub room. From here you can select all previously completed courses.
Listens:
1134
Who:
Announcer
Hello.
Listens:
1133
Who:
Defective Turret
The Adventure Sphere is a blowhard and a coward.
Listens:
1132
Who:
Core 3
Helloooo?
Listens:
1132
Who:
Wheatley
Federal regulations require me to warn you that this next test chamber... is looking pretty good.
Listens:
1131
Who:
GLaDOS
Before the invention of scrambled eggs in 1912, the typical breakfast was either whole eggs still in the shell or scrambled rocks.
Listens:
1130
Who:
Core 3
No!
Listens:
1127
Who:
GLaDOS
Why?
Listens:
1122
Who:
Turret
Blah.
Listens:
1120
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh I'll tell you what's also down there. Your parents and... There's also an escape elevator!. Down there. Funny. I should have mentioned it before. But so it's down there. So pop down. Jump down. You've got your folks down there and an escape elevator
Listens:
1120
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, listen, we should get our stories straight, alright? If anyone asks -- and no one's gonna ask, don't worry -- but if anyone asks, tell them as far as you know, the last time you checked, everyone looked pretty much alive. Alright? Not dead.
Listens:
1118
Who:
Wheatley
Oh oh oh ohohohoh oh. Gotta go to space.
Listens:
1117
Who:
Core 1
Oh no, I'm one of the bad ones, aren't I?
Listens:
1117
Who:
Defective Turret
You need to be a trained stalemate associate to press that button. You're unqualified.
Listens:
1116
Who:
GLaDOS
Wanna go home.
Listens:
1115
Who:
Core 1
Awwww, come on.
Listens:
1114
Who:
Defective Turret
And what's this, a lovely handbag? And the three portal device! It's all down there!
Listens:
1113
Who:
Wheatley
Orange did what? Are you sure?
Listens:
1111
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you doing no no no no no!
Listens:
1111
Who:
Defective Turret
The automobile brake was not invented until 1895. Before this, someone had to remain in the car at all times, driving in circles until passengers returned from their errands.
Listens:
1109
Who:
Core 3
I might have pushed that moron thing a little too far this time.
Listens:
1108
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome back to the central hub. All test courses are available. You may redundantly solve the courses at your leisure.
Listens:
1106
Who:
Announcer
I. Am. Not. Dead! I'm not dead! [laughter]
Listens:
1105
Who:
Wheatley
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
1104
Who:
Announcer
Now, you already met one another on the limo ride over, so let me introduce myself.
Listens:
1104
Who:
Cave Johnson
GO.
Listens:
1103
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome back, testing is available.
Listens:
1103
Who:
GLaDOS
Press the button again.
Listens:
1098
Who:
GLaDOS
Loves sound of own voice. Well, I can fix that.
Listens:
1098
Who:
GLaDOS
Watch out, pal!
Listens:
1098
Who:
Defective Turret
No hard fealings
Listens:
1098
Who:
Turret
Machiavellian!
Listens:
1092
Who:
Wheatley
Earth earth earth.
Listens:
1089
Who:
Core 1
Ohhh, no. The turbines again. I have to go. Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version.
Listens:
1089
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, this ain't good.
Listens:
1089
Who:
Defective Turret
Congratulations. Your ability to complete this test proves the humans wrong. They described it as impossible, deadly, cruel, and one test subject even had the nerve to call it broken.
Listens:
1088
Who:
GLaDOS
Sounds crazy, I know. But hear me out. Once you get to my lair, death will not be optional. It will be mandatory. No tricks, no surprises: just you dying, as a result of me killing you in a very very gruesome way.
Listens:
1087
Who:
Wheatley
Space. Space. Go to space.
Listens:
1086
Who:
Core 1
Ohhhh, space.
Listens:
1086
Who:
Core 1
It's my big chance!
Listens:
1086
Who:
Defective Turret
Anyway, don't smudge up the glass down there. In fact, why don't you just go ahead and not touch anything unless it's test related.
Listens:
1085
Who:
Cave Johnson
And FOOLISH! No way out. At my mercy. And I don't have any. You're at my nothing.
Listens:
1085
Who:
Wheatley
Baking Soda Volcano. Well, at least it's not a potato battery, I'll give it that. Still not terrifically original, though. Not exactly primary research, even within the child sciences.
Listens:
1084
Who:
Wheatley
Please note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it.
Listens:
1083
Who:
Announcer
Hold on, [click click click] Ah, the bloody bombs are stuck on. Doesn't matter - I've reconfigured the shields.
Listens:
1083
Who:
Wheatley
No! No! NONONO!
Listens:
1083
Who:
Wheatley
What are you doing?
Listens:
1083
Who:
Turret
Caroline, are the compensation vouchers ready?
Listens:
1082
Who:
Cave Johnson
There. If you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own recognizance, I'll be right back.
Listens:
1082
Who:
GLaDOS
It won't be enough.
Listens:
1082
Who:
Turret
Crap!
Listens:
1082
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh boy.
Listens:
1077
Who:
Core 1
Hey.
Listens:
1075
Who:
Core 1
Corruption at 50%
Listens:
1075
Who:
Core 3
Hey lady.
Listens:
1072
Who:
Core 1
00:00 / 00:00
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