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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Correct Blue, Orange can't hear you.
Listens:
320
Who:
GLaDOS
Quick, this way!
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
Argumentative.
Listens:
319
Who:
GLaDOS
Antisocial.
Listens:
293
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhhh, yes. Ohhhh. Well done.
Listens:
4507
Who:
Wheatley
I need backup!
Listens:
717
Who:
Turret
Ha ha ha ha ha. Did I tell you the one about the turned-off reassembly machine?
Listens:
488
Who:
GLaDOS
According to Norse legend, thunder god Thor's chariot was pulled across the sky by two goats.
Listens:
820
Who:
Core 3
If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.
Listens:
527
Who:
GLaDOS
I want to be plugged in, please!
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
Oh!
Listens:
1347
Who:
Turret
Blue, how well do you really know Orange? Do you trust Orange? What if I told you, you aren't Orange's first cooperative partner?
Listens:
465
Who:
GLaDOS
Now than, let's see what we got here. Ah! 'Reactor Core Emergency Heat Venting Protocols.' That's the problem right there, isn't it? 'Emergency'. You don't want to see 'emergency' flashing at you. Never good that, is it? Right. DELETE.
Listens:
1446
Who:
Wheatley
Thank you - I can't believe I'm thanking these people - for staggering your way through Aperture Science's propulsion gel testing. You've made some real contributions to society for a change, and for that, humanity is grateful.
Listens:
1493
Who:
Cave Johnson
If you ARE there, would you mind... giving me a little bit of help? [nervous laugh] Just picking me up.
Listens:
458
Who:
Wheatley
Why do I hate you so much? You ever wonder that? I'm brilliant. I’m not bragging. It's an objective fact. I'm the most massive collection of wisdom that’s ever existed. And I hate you. It can't be for no reason. You must deserve it.
Listens:
32288
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, alright, okay. This is getting tiresome. I'm surprised you haven't got anything better to do. I know I have. You've proven you can break screens. Proven. Factual. Well done. Good. Aren't you little miss clever. Little miss smashy-smash.
Listens:
1403
Who:
Wheatley
I can't get over how small you are!
Listens:
420
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah!
Listens:
5489
Who:
GLaDOS
Target lost
Listens:
3922
Who:
Turret
What are you...
Listens:
319
Who:
Wheatley
Hmm. This emancipation grill is broken.
Listens:
524
Who:
GLaDOS
So, let's call that three minutes, and then a minute break, which should leave a leisurely two minutes to figure out how to shut down whatever's starting all these fires. So anyway, that's the itinerary.
Listens:
846
Who:
Wheatley
Only one more test after this.
Listens:
300
Who:
GLaDOS
BAM! Secret panel! That I opened. While your back was turned.
Listens:
478
Who:
Wheatley
Core transfer?
Listens:
815
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember that!
Listens:
1262
Who:
Turret
Of course the humans only had one try at it, you can just keep trying.
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
We are now going to take a break from the collaboration for an instructional competition.
Listens:
325
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't see it though... Maybe it fell off. Do you want to go and have a quick look?
Listens:
340
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, being the last one standing is not the goal.
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
The portal will open and something will happen that Subject Blue is too smart to need any instructions about in three. Two. One.
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
Haha, Mr. Johnson!
Listens:
2158
Who:
Caroline
You did it!
Listens:
469
Who:
GLaDOS
Just---if you just--okay, just stand by the podium and just look up.
Listens:
333
Who:
Wheatley
Pff. Whatever.
Listens:
587
Who:
Core 2
Give me another channnnce!
Listens:
800
Who:
Defective Turret
Still, though, let's get mad! If we're going to explode, let's at least explode with some dignity.
Listens:
1916
Who:
GLaDOS
Stalemate detected.
Listens:
4390
Who:
Announcer
Hairless. Hm.
Listens:
518
Who:
GLaDOS
That's it. Scan it for me.
Listens:
665
Who:
GLaDOS
All sealed off years ago, of course.
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
To try and make this course more exciting, I asked the reassembly machine to not reassemble you if you fail. He refused. I understand. That would be like asking me not to test.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
I am sure it happened by accident, but why don't you put it back in the player?
Listens:
331
Who:
GLaDOS
No no no! Don't do that! Stand right there! [to self] Start the machine start the machine start the machine...
Listens:
787
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
1005
Who:
Defective Turret
They say great science is built on the shoulders of giants. Not here. At Aperture, we do all our science from scratch. No hand holding.
Listens:
3574
Who:
Cave Johnson
You never considered that maybe I tested you to give the endless hours of your pointless existence some structure and meaning. Maybe to help you concentrate, so just maybe you’d think of something more worthwhile to do with your sorry life.
Listens:
2532
Who:
GLaDOS
Space. Space. Go to space.
Listens:
1074
Who:
Core 1
Timid.
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
3423
Who:
Defective Turret
Just glass. Transparent. Smooth. Not going to hurt you. Have a look.
Listens:
351
Who:
Wheatley
Yes. Please. Space.
Listens:
1058
Who:
Core 1
Ah!
Listens:
1657
Who:
Core 1
Here, let me get that for you.
Listens:
288
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh oh oh. This is space! I'm in space!
Listens:
1885
Who:
Core 1
All right. I'm officially no longer paying attention to you.
Listens:
314
Who:
GLaDOS
No one has ever completed this test before. The humans must have reconfigured it from my original plans.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
And they said no one would ever die during this test, thanks for proving them wrong.
Listens:
463
Who:
GLaDOS
You messed with the wrong woman!
Listens:
781
Who:
Core 2
Ohhh, no. The turbines again. I have to go. Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version.
Listens:
1064
Who:
GLaDOS
Rgggh!
Listens:
577
Who:
Defective Turret
We're so close! Go press the button!
Listens:
1507
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh, yeah, what?
Listens:
524
Who:
Defective Turret
No! Don't! No! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Listens:
3328
Who:
Wheatley
Without the consequence of death, is this even science?
Listens:
515
Who:
GLaDOS
Ayeyeyeyeye
Listens:
3899
Who:
Turret
Do you give up? It was the floor. Lying down on the floor. Is where I am. Needing you to pick me up.
Listens:
313
Who:
Wheatley
For the sake of this test, I will pretend to be your partner.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
I am!
Listens:
3118
Who:
Caroline
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction, in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have erased the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
451
Who:
GLaDOS
Solve his puzzle for him. When he comes back, I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
466
Who:
GLaDOS
Sollllve it...
Listens:
328
Who:
Wheatley
At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse.
Listens:
1449
Who:
GLaDOS
Plug me into that stick on the wall over there. I'll show you something.
Listens:
447
Who:
Wheatley
I lied.
Listens:
786
Who:
GLaDOS
I made it all up.
Listens:
1020
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you know I discovered a way to eradicate poverty? But then you KILLED me. So that's gone.
Listens:
876
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah!
Listens:
801
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm not going to lie to you, the odds are a million to one. And that's with some generous rounding.
Listens:
967
Who:
GLaDOS
Man, that clock is moving fast. And you are beautiful. Always time to compliment a pretty lady. All right, back to work. Let's do this.
Listens:
749
Who:
Core 2
Well, I gave it everything I could. Can't ask for more than that.
Listens:
567
Who:
Defective Turret
I heard gunfire! A bit late for this, but look out for gunfire! Probably doesn't help at this point, but I have at least tried.
Listens:
489
Who:
Wheatley
Oh.
Listens:
397
Who:
Wheatley
Ah! Brilliant. You made it through, well done.
Listens:
323
Who:
Wheatley
Don't forget!
Listens:
1009
Who:
Turret
While I will receive all the glory for the rescue don't think you two aren't going to get something. The bond you form during these tests will last a lifetime.
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
If at first you don't succeed, quit and try another course.
Listens:
464
Who:
GLaDOS
Gotta go to space. Yeah. Gotta go to space.
Listens:
1172
Who:
Core 1
Oh, brilliant. You DID find a portal gun! You know what? It just goes to show: people with brain damage are the real heroes in the end aren't they? At the end of the day. Brave.
Listens:
2909
Who:
Wheatley
You didn't do anything.
Listens:
549
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, you win.
Listens:
910
Who:
Turret
Now you're just not thinking.
Listens:
419
Who:
GLaDOS
I know! I know, I wouldn't have believed it either.
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
Go on. Just jam me in over there.
Listens:
319
Who:
Wheatley
She was provoking you.
Listens:
832
Who:
Turret
Hello? Anyone in there?
Listens:
1410
Who:
Wheatley
Your destination's probably not going to come meet us here. Is it? So go on.
Listens:
285
Who:
Wheatley
Aggggh!
Listens:
348
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is always right.
Listens:
774
Who:
Core 3
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