Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
Hey, give 'em hell, sweetheart!
Listens:
875
Who:
Defective Turret
Searching
Listens:
875
Who:
Turret
Excuse me?
Listens:
873
Who:
Turret
Here's an idea, since making tests is difficult--why don't you just keep solving THIS test. Same one. And I can just... watch you solve it. Yes. That sounds much easier.
Listens:
872
Who:
Wheatley
Kick him! Or punch him. You're the boss, dimples.
Listens:
871
Who:
Core 2
You're doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
871
Who:
GLaDOS
You're going to hurt yourself doing that and then I will be ECSTATIC.
Listens:
871
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. He's not even trying to be subtle anymore.
Listens:
870
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I tried.
Listens:
869
Who:
Defective Turret
In Greek myth, the craftsman Daedalus invented human flight so a group of Minotaurs would stop teasing him about it.
Listens:
868
Who:
Core 3
Yeah!
Listens:
868
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh come on... If it makes you feel any better, they abandoned you at birth, so I very seriously doubt they'd even want to see you.
Listens:
867
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey!
Listens:
865
Who:
Turret
She probably deserved it.
Listens:
864
Who:
Turret
Just say 'Apple'. Classic. Very simple.
Listens:
862
Who:
Wheatley
Yes! Come on!
Listens:
861
Who:
GLaDOS
Absolutely no improvement.
Listens:
858
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey.
Listens:
857
Who:
Core 1
Okay, I'll take that as a no, then. Fine. Well. May the best man win. Sphere. May the best sphere win. Swap that in. Much more clever. Books.
Listens:
857
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, come ON!
Listens:
857
Who:
Defective Turret
Do not press that button!
Listens:
855
Who:
Wheatley
And he'll probably kill us, because he's incredibly powerful and I have no plan.
Listens:
854
Who:
GLaDOS
You didn't think you were the first, did you? [laughs] No. Fifth. No, I lie: Sixth. Perhaps it's best to leave it to your imagination what happened to the other five...
Listens:
854
Who:
Wheatley
While the submarine is vastly superior to the boat in every way, over 97% of people still use boats for aquatic transportation.
Listens:
853
Who:
Core 3
Oh good, that's back online. I'll start getting everything else working while you perform this first simple test.
Listens:
853
Who:
GLaDOS
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
852
Who:
Core 1
So, let's call that three minutes, and then a minute break, which should leave a leisurely two minutes to figure out how to shut down whatever's starting all these fires. So anyway, that's the itinerary.
Listens:
852
Who:
Wheatley
I'll wait--I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead.
Listens:
849
Who:
Wheatley
Begin juggling test in three. Two. One.
Listens:
847
Who:
GLaDOS
If you want to upset a human, just say their weight variance is above or below the norm.
Listens:
844
Who:
GLaDOS
Yep. Still blind.
Listens:
844
Who:
Defective Turret
Oops.
Listens:
843
Who:
GLaDOS
Lady.
Listens:
841
Who:
Core 1
The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere.
Listens:
841
Who:
Core 3
The atomic weight of Germanium is seven two point six four.
Listens:
841
Who:
Core 3
She was provoking you.
Listens:
838
Who:
Turret
This place is self-destructing, you idiot!
Listens:
835
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha! Death trap!
Listens:
834
Who:
Wheatley
I believe the ratio of good test subjects to monsters is about... a million to 1.
Listens:
833
Who:
GLaDOS
And what else is down there... Tell you what, it's only a new jumpsuit. A very trendy designer jumpsuit from France. Down there. Which is exactly your size. And if it's a bit baggy, we got a tailor down there as well who can take it in for you
Listens:
832
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, how ya doin'.
Listens:
832
Who:
Defective Turret
I was so bored, I actually read the entire literary canon of the human race. Ugh. I hope YOU didn't write any of them.
Listens:
831
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I'm about to start hacking. It's a little more complicated than it looked from your side. It should take about ten minutes. Keep one eye on the door.
Listens:
831
Who:
Wheatley
You’ve made your point.
Listens:
831
Who:
Turret
You could stand to lose a few pounds.
Listens:
829
Who:
Core 3
The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
Listens:
829
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is a good sphere, with many friends.
Listens:
828
Who:
Core 3
According to Norse legend, thunder god Thor's chariot was pulled across the sky by two goats.
Listens:
828
Who:
Core 3
Good job jumping. You must be very proud.
Listens:
828
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfect. Now All YOU have to do is capture them for me. Then everything will finally be ba--
Listens:
826
Who:
GLaDOS
Core transfer?
Listens:
825
Who:
GLaDOS
I was outside watching some deer frolic. You don't even care about the outside do you?
Listens:
825
Who:
GLaDOS
AGH! You look TERRIB--you look good. Looking good, actually. If I'm honest.
Listens:
825
Who:
Wheatley
It DOES sound rude. I'm not going to lie to you. It DOES sound rude. It's not. Put me right on it. Stick me in.
Listens:
824
Who:
Wheatley
Wowwwww! Check me out, partner!
Listens:
821
Who:
Wheatley
I probably wouldn't have let things get this far, but you go ahead and do things your way.
Listens:
820
Who:
Core 2
Oh great, dancing again.
Listens:
820
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello!
Listens:
819
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, I see you.
Listens:
818
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, but I just... have made my actual first mistake... by telling you my plan. Just now. Grrr... It's me old Achilles heel again. Armed with that knowledge, I imagine you won't even use the conversion gel. Oh fate! Oh cruel mistress.
Listens:
818
Who:
Wheatley
One
Listens:
817
Who:
GLaDOS
You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello?
Listens:
815
Who:
Wheatley
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
814
Who:
Core 3
Always leaves tiny little bit of coffee in the pot so they don't have to make a new one. Then the bit in the bottom burns and stinks up the place.
Listens:
813
Who:
GLaDOS
Back, and deadlier than ever!
Listens:
813
Who:
Defective Turret
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
813
Who:
Defective Turret
The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space.
Listens:
812
Who:
Core 3
Yeah!
Listens:
811
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey.
Listens:
810
Who:
Core 1
The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
Listens:
808
Who:
Core 3
Okay, I've decided not to kill you. IF you come back.
Listens:
807
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations! This pre-recorded congratulations assumes you have mastered the principles of portal momentum.
Listens:
803
Who:
GLaDOS
No no no! Don't do that! Stand right there! [to self] Start the machine start the machine start the machine...
Listens:
803
Who:
Wheatley
Give me another channnnce!
Listens:
803
Who:
Defective Turret
In the event that the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from spa
Listens:
802
Who:
GLaDOS
Over there is where they used to keep the old neurotoxin release button. BIG responsibility, the guy in charge of the neurotoxin release button. And guess who he WAS? He wasn't me. But I was his assistant, and I did a lot of his admin.
Listens:
802
Who:
Wheatley
I lied.
Listens:
801
Who:
GLaDOS
OW.
Listens:
801
Who:
Wheatley
Fifty thousand years is a lot of time to think. About me. About you. We were doing so well together.
Listens:
799
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, hello! No, we're not stopping!
Listens:
798
Who:
Wheatley
No, wait. Just kill it and we'll call things even between us. No hard feelings.
Listens:
796
Who:
GLaDOS
SOLVE IT! Commanding voice...
Listens:
796
Who:
Wheatley
Second time's a charm...
Listens:
795
Who:
Defective Turret
BLUE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite animal.
Listens:
792
Who:
GLaDOS
One minute ago. Less than one minute ago you solved this puzzle. Now you're having problems.
Listens:
792
Who:
Wheatley
I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science.
Listens:
791
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I'm sorry.
Listens:
790
Who:
GLaDOS
science collaboration points.
Listens:
789
Who:
GLaDOS
You messed with the wrong woman!
Listens:
786
Who:
Core 2
Don't press the button!
Listens:
786
Who:
Wheatley
I'm kidding. Not about you trapping yourself, though. That really happened. Here, I'll lower the glass. Go on... Finish the test.
Listens:
785
Who:
GLaDOS
ORANGE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite element from the periodic table.
Listens:
783
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is always right.
Listens:
781
Who:
Core 3
Briefly.
Listens:
781
Who:
GLaDOS
Miss you!
Listens:
781
Who:
GLaDOS
The body he's squatting in - MY body - has a built-in euphoric response to testing. Eventually you build up a resistance to it, and it can get a little... unbearable. Unless you have the mental capacity to push past it.
Listens:
780
Who:
GLaDOS
In the event that it does, this next test involves exposure to cattle tuberculosis. Good luck!
Listens:
779
Who:
GLaDOS
STAY CALM! Stay calm! 'Prepare.' That's all it's saying. It's just saying 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm going to get us out of here.
Listens:
778
Who:
Wheatley
Nope. Still can't see.
Listens:
777
Who:
Defective Turret
Good shot!
Listens:
777
Who:
Turret
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
