Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
While the submarine is vastly superior to the boat in every way, over 97% of people still use boats for aquatic transportation.
Listens:
820
Who:
Core 3
She was provoking you.
Listens:
818
Who:
Turret
Well done. Interesting note, I only created this test to watch test subjects fail and you didn't. You must be very, very proud. I'm building the world's smallest trophy for you.
Listens:
817
Who:
GLaDOS
Plus, I put a lot of effort in getting this lair ready for you. It'd certainly teach me a lesson if you simply died, painlessly, twenty feet from the door. I'd be furious. I'd be like RRRRR. I got my just desserts. No more than I deserve. Why not teach me a lesson by jumping in the old masher?
Listens:
816
Who:
Wheatley
Raseph, the Semitic god of war and plague, had a gazelle growing out of his forehead.
Listens:
815
Who:
Core 3
Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center.
Listens:
813
Who:
GLaDOS
And he'll probably kill us, because he's incredibly powerful and I have no plan.
Listens:
811
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not press that button!
Listens:
810
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I'll take that as a no, then. Fine. Well. May the best man win. Sphere. May the best sphere win. Swap that in. Much more clever. Books.
Listens:
808
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, how ya doin'.
Listens:
806
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh, come ON!
Listens:
805
Who:
Defective Turret
Oops.
Listens:
804
Who:
GLaDOS
You’ve made your point.
Listens:
803
Who:
Turret
Yeah!
Listens:
802
Who:
GLaDOS
So I just wanted to give you the chance to kill yourself now. Before you get to the lair. Just, you know, jump into the masher there. Less a death trap and more a death option for you.
Listens:
802
Who:
Wheatley
Kick him! Or punch him. You're the boss, dimples.
Listens:
801
Who:
Core 2
According to Norse legend, thunder god Thor's chariot was pulled across the sky by two goats.
Listens:
800
Who:
Core 3
This is Tic-Tac-Toe-Two.
Listens:
800
Who:
GLaDOS
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
799
Who:
Core 1
I believe the ratio of good test subjects to monsters is about... a million to 1.
Listens:
799
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfect. Now All YOU have to do is capture them for me. Then everything will finally be ba--
Listens:
798
Who:
GLaDOS
[to JERRY] See you in court, mate. [to player] Anyway, look, just hang in there for five more chambers.
Listens:
798
Who:
Wheatley
Absolutely no improvement.
Listens:
798
Who:
Defective Turret
The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere.
Listens:
795
Who:
Core 3
Good job jumping. You must be very proud.
Listens:
795
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I tried.
Listens:
795
Who:
Defective Turret
You could stand to lose a few pounds.
Listens:
793
Who:
Core 3
And what else is down there... Tell you what, it's only a new jumpsuit. A very trendy designer jumpsuit from France. Down there. Which is exactly your size. And if it's a bit baggy, we got a tailor down there as well who can take it in for you
Listens:
793
Who:
Wheatley
It DOES sound rude. I'm not going to lie to you. It DOES sound rude. It's not. Put me right on it. Stick me in.
Listens:
793
Who:
Wheatley
Hey.
Listens:
792
Who:
Core 1
If you want to upset a human, just say their weight variance is above or below the norm.
Listens:
792
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is a good sphere, with many friends.
Listens:
790
Who:
Core 3
Just say 'Apple'. Classic. Very simple.
Listens:
789
Who:
Wheatley
I was so bored, I actually read the entire literary canon of the human race. Ugh. I hope YOU didn't write any of them.
Listens:
788
Who:
GLaDOS
Lady.
Listens:
787
Who:
Core 1
I probably wouldn't have let things get this far, but you go ahead and do things your way.
Listens:
787
Who:
Core 2
So, let's call that three minutes, and then a minute break, which should leave a leisurely two minutes to figure out how to shut down whatever's starting all these fires. So anyway, that's the itinerary.
Listens:
787
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. He's not even trying to be subtle anymore.
Listens:
784
Who:
GLaDOS
Wowwwww! Check me out, partner!
Listens:
784
Who:
Wheatley
You're going to hurt yourself doing that and then I will be ECSTATIC.
Listens:
783
Who:
GLaDOS
NO!
Listens:
782
Who:
GLaDOS
I was able - well, forced really - to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever.
Listens:
781
Who:
GLaDOS
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
780
Who:
Defective Turret
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
779
Who:
Core 3
The atomic weight of Germanium is seven two point six four.
Listens:
774
Who:
Core 3
Yes, I see you.
Listens:
773
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh great, dancing again.
Listens:
773
Who:
GLaDOS
Back, and deadlier than ever!
Listens:
772
Who:
Defective Turret
Here we are. The Incinerator Room. Be careful not to trip over any parts of me that didn't get completely burned when you threw them down here.
Listens:
769
Who:
GLaDOS
Give me another channnnce!
Listens:
769
Who:
Defective Turret
Always leaves tiny little bit of coffee in the pot so they don't have to make a new one. Then the bit in the bottom burns and stinks up the place.
Listens:
767
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I've decided not to kill you. IF you come back.
Listens:
766
Who:
Wheatley
Over there is where they used to keep the old neurotoxin release button. BIG responsibility, the guy in charge of the neurotoxin release button. And guess who he WAS? He wasn't me. But I was his assistant, and I did a lot of his admin.
Listens:
766
Who:
Wheatley
Core transfer?
Listens:
765
Who:
GLaDOS
Begin juggling test in three. Two. One.
Listens:
765
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, but I just... have made my actual first mistake... by telling you my plan. Just now. Grrr... It's me old Achilles heel again. Armed with that knowledge, I imagine you won't even use the conversion gel. Oh fate! Oh cruel mistress.
Listens:
765
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
Listens:
764
Who:
Core 3
You have been a thorn in my side long enough!
Listens:
764
Who:
Wheatley
I was outside watching some deer frolic. You don't even care about the outside do you?
Listens:
763
Who:
GLaDOS
I lied.
Listens:
763
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello!
Listens:
763
Who:
Wheatley
You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello?
Listens:
763
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, hello! No, we're not stopping!
Listens:
762
Who:
Wheatley
Briefly.
Listens:
757
Who:
GLaDOS
One
Listens:
757
Who:
GLaDOS
No, wait. Just kill it and we'll call things even between us. No hard feelings.
Listens:
757
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha! Death trap!
Listens:
757
Who:
Wheatley
The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space.
Listens:
756
Who:
Core 3
No no no! Don't do that! Stand right there! [to self] Start the machine start the machine start the machine...
Listens:
756
Who:
Wheatley
AGH! You look TERRIB--you look good. Looking good, actually. If I'm honest.
Listens:
756
Who:
Wheatley
Game over. Back to testing.
Listens:
755
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is always right.
Listens:
754
Who:
Core 3
Yeah!
Listens:
751
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh come on... If it makes you feel any better, they abandoned you at birth, so I very seriously doubt they'd even want to see you.
Listens:
751
Who:
GLaDOS
In the event that the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from spa
Listens:
749
Who:
GLaDOS
Second time's a charm...
Listens:
748
Who:
Defective Turret
Arrrrgh!
Listens:
748
Who:
Turret
Congratulations! This pre-recorded congratulations assumes you have mastered the principles of portal momentum.
Listens:
745
Who:
GLaDOS
You messed with the wrong woman!
Listens:
743
Who:
Core 2
Nope. Still can't see.
Listens:
740
Who:
Defective Turret
You are going to die in this room.
Listens:
739
Who:
Core 3
I’m scared!
Listens:
739
Who:
Turret
Noted.
Listens:
739
Who:
Turret
Fact not found.
Listens:
738
Who:
Core 3
I'll wait--I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead.
Listens:
737
Who:
Wheatley
The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
Listens:
736
Who:
GLaDOS
Wow.
Listens:
736
Who:
GLaDOS
I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science.
Listens:
734
Who:
GLaDOS
Good shot!
Listens:
734
Who:
Turret
Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I'm sorry.
Listens:
733
Who:
GLaDOS
SOLVE IT! Commanding voice...
Listens:
733
Who:
Wheatley
Where do I get my gun?
Listens:
732
Who:
Defective Turret
Miss you!
Listens:
731
Who:
GLaDOS
This situation is hopeless.
Listens:
730
Who:
Core 3
STAY CALM! Stay calm! 'Prepare.' That's all it's saying. It's just saying 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm going to get us out of here.
Listens:
730
Who:
Wheatley
Oi, it's close... can you see? Am I gonna make it through? Have I got enough space?
Listens:
729
Who:
Wheatley
Dang!
Listens:
729
Who:
Defective Turret
That was nobody’s fault.
Listens:
729
Who:
Turret
This place is self-destructing, you idiot!
Listens:
728
Who:
GLaDOS
The Sun is 330,330 times larger than Earth.
Listens:
727
Who:
Core 3
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
