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Portal 2
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Here's an idea, since making tests is difficult--why don't you just keep solving THIS test. Same one. And I can just... watch you solve it. Yes. That sounds much easier.
Listens:
863
Who:
Wheatley
Excuse me?
Listens:
863
Who:
Turret
After that...who knows? I might take up a hobby. Reanimating the dead, maybe.
Listens:
860
Who:
GLaDOS
Here we are. The Incinerator Room. Be careful not to trip over any parts of me that didn't get completely burned when you threw them down here.
Listens:
858
Who:
GLaDOS
You're going to hurt yourself doing that and then I will be ECSTATIC.
Listens:
856
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I tried.
Listens:
856
Who:
Defective Turret
Kick him! Or punch him. You're the boss, dimples.
Listens:
855
Who:
Core 2
You have been a thorn in my side long enough!
Listens:
855
Who:
Wheatley
She probably deserved it.
Listens:
855
Who:
Turret
Hey!
Listens:
855
Who:
Turret
Yeah!
Listens:
854
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. He's not even trying to be subtle anymore.
Listens:
854
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey.
Listens:
853
Who:
Core 1
Yes! Come on!
Listens:
853
Who:
GLaDOS
Just say 'Apple'. Classic. Very simple.
Listens:
852
Who:
Wheatley
While the submarine is vastly superior to the boat in every way, over 97% of people still use boats for aquatic transportation.
Listens:
850
Who:
Core 3
Do not press that button!
Listens:
850
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, come ON!
Listens:
848
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh good, that's back online. I'll start getting everything else working while you perform this first simple test.
Listens:
847
Who:
GLaDOS
You didn't think you were the first, did you? [laughs] No. Fifth. No, I lie: Sixth. Perhaps it's best to leave it to your imagination what happened to the other five...
Listens:
847
Who:
Wheatley
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
846
Who:
Core 1
And he'll probably kill us, because he's incredibly powerful and I have no plan.
Listens:
846
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I'll take that as a no, then. Fine. Well. May the best man win. Sphere. May the best sphere win. Swap that in. Much more clever. Books.
Listens:
845
Who:
Wheatley
Absolutely no improvement.
Listens:
845
Who:
Defective Turret
So, let's call that three minutes, and then a minute break, which should leave a leisurely two minutes to figure out how to shut down whatever's starting all these fires. So anyway, that's the itinerary.
Listens:
844
Who:
Wheatley
I was able - well, forced really - to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever.
Listens:
839
Who:
GLaDOS
Yep. Still blind.
Listens:
838
Who:
Defective Turret
The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere.
Listens:
834
Who:
Core 3
Lady.
Listens:
833
Who:
Core 1
Oops.
Listens:
833
Who:
GLaDOS
If you want to upset a human, just say their weight variance is above or below the norm.
Listens:
832
Who:
GLaDOS
She was provoking you.
Listens:
832
Who:
Turret
I believe the ratio of good test subjects to monsters is about... a million to 1.
Listens:
830
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, how ya doin'.
Listens:
827
Who:
Defective Turret
The atomic weight of Germanium is seven two point six four.
Listens:
826
Who:
Core 3
You’ve made your point.
Listens:
826
Who:
Turret
Begin juggling test in three. Two. One.
Listens:
825
Who:
GLaDOS
And what else is down there... Tell you what, it's only a new jumpsuit. A very trendy designer jumpsuit from France. Down there. Which is exactly your size. And if it's a bit baggy, we got a tailor down there as well who can take it in for you
Listens:
825
Who:
Wheatley
Oh come on... If it makes you feel any better, they abandoned you at birth, so I very seriously doubt they'd even want to see you.
Listens:
823
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll wait--I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead.
Listens:
821
Who:
Wheatley
According to Norse legend, thunder god Thor's chariot was pulled across the sky by two goats.
Listens:
820
Who:
Core 3
Perfect. Now All YOU have to do is capture them for me. Then everything will finally be ba--
Listens:
820
Who:
GLaDOS
You could stand to lose a few pounds.
Listens:
818
Who:
Core 3
Good job jumping. You must be very proud.
Listens:
818
Who:
GLaDOS
It DOES sound rude. I'm not going to lie to you. It DOES sound rude. It's not. Put me right on it. Stick me in.
Listens:
817
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is a good sphere, with many friends.
Listens:
815
Who:
Core 3
I probably wouldn't have let things get this far, but you go ahead and do things your way.
Listens:
815
Who:
Core 2
I was outside watching some deer frolic. You don't even care about the outside do you?
Listens:
814
Who:
GLaDOS
I was so bored, I actually read the entire literary canon of the human race. Ugh. I hope YOU didn't write any of them.
Listens:
814
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh great, dancing again.
Listens:
814
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha! Death trap!
Listens:
814
Who:
Wheatley
Wowwwww! Check me out, partner!
Listens:
814
Who:
Wheatley
Core transfer?
Listens:
813
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey.
Listens:
809
Who:
Core 1
This place is self-destructing, you idiot!
Listens:
809
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello!
Listens:
808
Who:
Wheatley
Back, and deadlier than ever!
Listens:
805
Who:
Defective Turret
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
804
Who:
Core 3
The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
Listens:
804
Who:
GLaDOS
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
804
Who:
Defective Turret
Yes, I see you.
Listens:
803
Who:
GLaDOS
One
Listens:
802
Who:
GLaDOS
AGH! You look TERRIB--you look good. Looking good, actually. If I'm honest.
Listens:
802
Who:
Wheatley
The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space.
Listens:
801
Who:
Core 3
Yeah!
Listens:
801
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, but I just... have made my actual first mistake... by telling you my plan. Just now. Grrr... It's me old Achilles heel again. Armed with that knowledge, I imagine you won't even use the conversion gel. Oh fate! Oh cruel mistress.
Listens:
801
Who:
Wheatley
You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello?
Listens:
801
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
Listens:
800
Who:
Core 3
Okay, I've decided not to kill you. IF you come back.
Listens:
800
Who:
Wheatley
Give me another channnnce!
Listens:
800
Who:
Defective Turret
Congratulations! This pre-recorded congratulations assumes you have mastered the principles of portal momentum.
Listens:
798
Who:
GLaDOS
Always leaves tiny little bit of coffee in the pot so they don't have to make a new one. Then the bit in the bottom burns and stinks up the place.
Listens:
797
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I'm about to start hacking. It's a little more complicated than it looked from your side. It should take about ten minutes. Keep one eye on the door.
Listens:
796
Who:
Wheatley
Over there is where they used to keep the old neurotoxin release button. BIG responsibility, the guy in charge of the neurotoxin release button. And guess who he WAS? He wasn't me. But I was his assistant, and I did a lot of his admin.
Listens:
793
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, hello! No, we're not stopping!
Listens:
790
Who:
Wheatley
SOLVE IT! Commanding voice...
Listens:
789
Who:
Wheatley
No, wait. Just kill it and we'll call things even between us. No hard feelings.
Listens:
788
Who:
GLaDOS
No no no! Don't do that! Stand right there! [to self] Start the machine start the machine start the machine...
Listens:
787
Who:
Wheatley
I lied.
Listens:
786
Who:
GLaDOS
OW.
Listens:
786
Who:
Wheatley
In the event that the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from spa
Listens:
784
Who:
GLaDOS
You messed with the wrong woman!
Listens:
781
Who:
Core 2
One minute ago. Less than one minute ago you solved this puzzle. Now you're having problems.
Listens:
777
Who:
Wheatley
Briefly.
Listens:
775
Who:
GLaDOS
Fifty thousand years is a lot of time to think. About me. About you. We were doing so well together.
Listens:
775
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is always right.
Listens:
774
Who:
Core 3
Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I'm sorry.
Listens:
774
Who:
GLaDOS
Second time's a charm...
Listens:
774
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't press the button!
Listens:
772
Who:
Wheatley
I'm kidding. Not about you trapping yourself, though. That really happened. Here, I'll lower the glass. Go on... Finish the test.
Listens:
771
Who:
GLaDOS
Good shot!
Listens:
771
Who:
Turret
Nope. Still can't see.
Listens:
770
Who:
Defective Turret
You are going to die in this room.
Listens:
769
Who:
Core 3
I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science.
Listens:
769
Who:
GLaDOS
Game over. Back to testing.
Listens:
768
Who:
GLaDOS
The Sun is 330,330 times larger than Earth.
Listens:
767
Who:
Core 3
All right, your funeral. Your beautiful-lady-corpse open casket funeral.
Listens:
767
Who:
Core 2
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Listens:
765
Who:
Core 3
ORANGE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite element from the periodic table.
Listens:
765
Who:
GLaDOS
Miss you!
Listens:
765
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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