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Are you alright back there? Here, I'll turn the beam off.
Listens:
716
Who:
Wheatley
What is this, like a hobby for you now? I mean, honestly, it's crazy! You've been running around for hours, I'm surprised you have the energy to smash screens willy nilly. Honestly, I'd have a little lie down if I were you. Have a nap.
Listens:
715
Who:
Wheatley
Aw, come on!
Listens:
713
Who:
Defective Turret
Fine! No, absolutely fine. It's not like I don't have, you know, ten thousand other test subjects begging me to help them escape. You know, it's not like this place is about to EXPLODE.
Listens:
712
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Plan B, subsection one: Stand still so I can bring you back.
Listens:
711
Who:
GLaDOS
We need to find the power station at the end of this course. The humans must have accidentally disconnected it from my grid. I am sure it was just a clerical error.
Listens:
710
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you remember when we were friends?
Listens:
709
Who:
Wheatley
Resting
Listens:
709
Who:
Turret
Ohhh. I see. [chuckle]
Listens:
707
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no. Change of plans. Hold onto me. Tighter!
Listens:
707
Who:
Wheatley
I'm gonna make you proud!
Listens:
707
Who:
Defective Turret
Good Job.
Listens:
704
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. In the event that oxygen is no longer available in the Enrichment Center, an auxiliary air supply will be provided to you by an Aperture Science Test Associate, if one exists.
Listens:
704
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you broken? It looks like you're malfunctioning.
Listens:
704
Who:
GLaDOS
Spinny-blade-wall!
Listens:
704
Who:
Wheatley
The average life expectancy of a rhinoceros in captivity is 15 years.
Listens:
703
Who:
Core 3
Can't help but notice you're not coming back. Which is disappointing.
Listens:
703
Who:
Wheatley
Ohp! Where are you going? Nowhere. Not going anywhere. Got you trapped like a little jumpsuited rat.
Listens:
703
Who:
Wheatley
What's going on? Who turned off the lights?
Listens:
702
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah, friendship. Friendly times. We had a lot of good times, do you remember? Back in the old days.
Listens:
702
Who:
Wheatley
You won't regret this!
Listens:
702
Who:
Defective Turret
Woah! Where are we? How long have I been out?
Listens:
701
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't you DARE plug him in.
Listens:
701
Who:
GLaDOS
This isn't fair!
Listens:
701
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh my.
Listens:
701
Who:
Turret
That poster! Go look at it for a second, would you?
Listens:
700
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. You're upside down now.
Listens:
700
Who:
GLaDOS
We are?
Listens:
699
Who:
Core 1
Here, stand behind me. Yeah, just like that. Just like you're doing. Things are about to get real messy.
Listens:
699
Who:
Core 2
No!
Listens:
699
Who:
Wheatley
Run! I don't need to do the voice. RUN!
Listens:
699
Who:
Wheatley
Hey.
Listens:
698
Who:
Core 1
three
Listens:
697
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhh...
Listens:
697
Who:
Wheatley
I can't bite my tongue anymore: You could solve this puzzle faster on your own. Orange is dragging you down. There. I've said it.
Listens:
695
Who:
GLaDOS
Laughs at own jokes. What a bore.
Listens:
695
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyone got any bullets?
Listens:
695
Who:
Defective Turret
Come closer.
Listens:
694
Who:
Turret
Here's the plan: Get him to say, 'You two have been a thorn in my side long enough.' Then tell your pretty ears to stand back, because I am going to zing him into the stone age.
Listens:
693
Who:
Core 2
Okay, yes, it's a trap. But it's only way through. Let's just do it.
Listens:
693
Who:
GLaDOS
To your left... you'll see some lights of some kind. Don't know what they do. But very sciencey anyway.
Listens:
693
Who:
Wheatley
But the important thing is you're back. With me. And now I'm onto all your little tricks. So there's nothing to stop us from testing for the rest of your life.
Listens:
692
Who:
GLaDOS
[laugh] Would you pick me up?
Listens:
691
Who:
Wheatley
I can't... I can't do it if you're watching. [nervous laugh]
Listens:
690
Who:
Wheatley
How is this even science, without the possibility of death?
Listens:
689
Who:
GLaDOS
Where'd you go? Come back! Come back!
Listens:
689
Who:
Wheatley
Get going. I'll fill you in along the way.
Listens:
687
Who:
GLaDOS
Well. Have fun soaring through the air without a care in the world.
Listens:
686
Who:
GLaDOS
Human tapeworms can grow up to twenty-two point nine meters.
Listens:
683
Who:
Core 3
Hey! Pick me up!
Listens:
683
Who:
Wheatley
Remember when I first told you how to find that little portal thing you love so much? Thought you'd die on the way, if I'm honest. All the others did.
Listens:
681
Who:
Wheatley
Uh oh.
Listens:
681
Who:
Wheatley
That's it. Scan it for me.
Listens:
680
Who:
GLaDOS
Bring your daughter to work day. That did not end well.
Listens:
680
Who:
Wheatley
Whoa-ho-ho! Would you look at this. Not too bad, eh? Giant robot. Massive! It's not just me, right? I'm bloody massive, aren't I?
Listens:
679
Who:
Wheatley
What a nasty piece of work she was, honestly. Like a proper maniac.
Listens:
679
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, look, okay, I'll be honest. You're the LAST test subject left. And if you DON'T help me, we're both going to die. Alright? I didn't want to say it, you dragged it out of me. Alright? Dead. Dos Muerte.
Listens:
679
Who:
Wheatley
Well done!
Listens:
679
Who:
Turret
At least the plants didn't want a reward.
Listens:
678
Who:
GLaDOS
Where are you going? Don't run! Don't run! I'll tell you why you shouldn't run: The harder you breathe, the more neurotoxin you'll inhale. It's bloody clever, this stuff. Seriously, it's devilish.
Listens:
678
Who:
Wheatley
Are they killing you? They're killing you, aren't they?
Listens:
677
Who:
Wheatley
[yelling]
Listens:
677
Who:
Wheatley
Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody's going to have to repair that too. No, don't get up. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
675
Who:
GLaDOS
If we're lucky, she won't find out all her turrets are crap until it's too late. [laughs] Classic.
Listens:
674
Who:
Wheatley
Lady.
Listens:
671
Who:
Core 1
Hey, just in case this pit isn't actually bottomless, do you think maybe you could unstrap one of those long fall boots of yours and shove me into it?
Listens:
670
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, that's long enough. Are you dead yet? How about now?
Listens:
670
Who:
Wheatley
You performed this test better than anyone on record. This is a pre-recorded message.
Listens:
669
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop touching each other!
Listens:
669
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll be honest: The death traps have been a bit of a failure so far. For both of us. I think you'll agree. And you are getting very close to my lair.
Listens:
669
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Brilliant, thank you, great.
Listens:
669
Who:
Wheatley
No! I'm not listening! I'm not listening!
Listens:
668
Who:
Wheatley
You KNOW her?
Listens:
668
Who:
Wheatley
Hot water freezes quicker than cold water.
Listens:
667
Who:
Core 3
Dang.
Listens:
667
Who:
Defective Turret
Canvassing
Listens:
667
Who:
Turret
Once testing starts, I'm required by protocol to keep interaction with you to a minimum. Luckily, we haven't started testing yet. This will be our only chance to talk.
Listens:
665
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahungh. What was that? That was nothing! That was nothing!
Listens:
663
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on! I thought I fixed that.
Listens:
662
Who:
Wheatley
Be a shame to miss it, wouldn't it? Just for the old neurotoxin. Neurotoxin will still be here tomorrow. Whereas that bird will be gone any minute. Already got one talon off the branch. Gonna be gone.
Listens:
662
Who:
Wheatley
I'm guessing this wasn't one of the scientist's children. I don't want to be snobby, but let's be honest: It's got manual laborer written all over it. I'm not saying they're not as good as the professionals. They're just a lot dumber.
Listens:
662
Who:
Wheatley
Had a brainwave. I'm going to tape you solving these, and then watch ten at once-get a more concentrated burst of science. Oh, on a related note: I'm going to need you to solve these ten times as fast.
Listens:
661
Who:
Wheatley
Okay... that's probably correct. But where it is incorrect is while I've been stalling you WE JUST PRESSED THE BUTTON! USE THE MOMENT OF CONFUSION I'VE JUST CREATED TO PRESS THE BUTTON!
Listens:
661
Who:
Wheatley
Was. Was self-destructing. Already fixed.
Listens:
660
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. You were busy back there.
Listens:
658
Who:
GLaDOS
'Hang ten?' That might work if there were ten of him. Do you think there might be nine more of this guy somewhere?
Listens:
657
Who:
Core 2
Come on, you've already solved it.
Listens:
657
Who:
Wheatley
Did something break back there?
Listens:
657
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, come on, you guys!
Listens:
657
Who:
Defective Turret
In 1879, Sandford Fleming first proposed the adoption of worldwide standardized time zones at the Royal Canadian Institute.
Listens:
656
Who:
Core 3
I never expected you to make it this far. To be honest, after your performance in the calibration test I was ready to break down your cores and put them back in the scientific calculators I took them from.
Listens:
656
Who:
GLaDOS
The masher does work. I should point that out. I know we've had a couple of problems in the past. This masher definitely works and it will kill you. If that's one of your concerns about jumping in, the masher will kill you. Painless. Well, it won't be painless, obviously. But it will mash you up.
Listens:
654
Who:
Wheatley
Stay calm! 'Prepare' - that's all they're saying. 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm gonna get us out of here.
Listens:
654
Who:
Wheatley
Lady.
Listens:
653
Who:
Core 1
It's not, though.
Listens:
653
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
653
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
653
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
653
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh! Look at that. It's turning. Ominous. But probably fine. Long as it doesn't start moving up...
Listens:
652
Who:
Wheatley
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
652
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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