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Portal 2
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Don't forget! Thorn! Side!
Listens:
705
Who:
Core 2
Also, I took the liberty of watching the tapes of you killing her, and I'm not going to make the same mistakes. Four part plan is this:
Listens:
704
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Plan B, subsection one: Stand still so I can bring you back.
Listens:
703
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you expecting applause?
Listens:
702
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no. Change of plans. Hold onto me. Tighter!
Listens:
702
Who:
Wheatley
Fine! No, absolutely fine. It's not like I don't have, you know, ten thousand other test subjects begging me to help them escape. You know, it's not like this place is about to EXPLODE.
Listens:
702
Who:
Wheatley
Good Job.
Listens:
700
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you remember when we were friends?
Listens:
699
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh. I see. [chuckle]
Listens:
698
Who:
Wheatley
I'm gonna make you proud!
Listens:
698
Who:
Defective Turret
Are you broken? It looks like you're malfunctioning.
Listens:
696
Who:
GLaDOS
Resting
Listens:
696
Who:
Turret
We are?
Listens:
695
Who:
Core 1
Here, stand behind me. Yeah, just like that. Just like you're doing. Things are about to get real messy.
Listens:
695
Who:
Core 2
Well done. In the event that oxygen is no longer available in the Enrichment Center, an auxiliary air supply will be provided to you by an Aperture Science Test Associate, if one exists.
Listens:
695
Who:
GLaDOS
Can't help but notice you're not coming back. Which is disappointing.
Listens:
695
Who:
Wheatley
You won't regret this!
Listens:
695
Who:
Defective Turret
We need to find the power station at the end of this course. The humans must have accidentally disconnected it from my grid. I am sure it was just a clerical error.
Listens:
694
Who:
GLaDOS
Spinny-blade-wall!
Listens:
694
Who:
Wheatley
Oh my.
Listens:
694
Who:
Turret
That poster! Go look at it for a second, would you?
Listens:
693
Who:
GLaDOS
Run! I don't need to do the voice. RUN!
Listens:
693
Who:
Wheatley
Hey.
Listens:
692
Who:
Core 1
three
Listens:
692
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't bite my tongue anymore: You could solve this puzzle faster on your own. Orange is dragging you down. There. I've said it.
Listens:
692
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah, friendship. Friendly times. We had a lot of good times, do you remember? Back in the old days.
Listens:
692
Who:
Wheatley
The average life expectancy of a rhinoceros in captivity is 15 years.
Listens:
691
Who:
Core 3
Ahhh...
Listens:
690
Who:
Wheatley
Ohp! Where are you going? Nowhere. Not going anywhere. Got you trapped like a little jumpsuited rat.
Listens:
690
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations. You're upside down now.
Listens:
689
Who:
GLaDOS
This isn't fair!
Listens:
689
Who:
Defective Turret
Woah! Where are we? How long have I been out?
Listens:
687
Who:
GLaDOS
Come closer.
Listens:
687
Who:
Turret
Laughs at own jokes. What a bore.
Listens:
686
Who:
GLaDOS
To your left... you'll see some lights of some kind. Don't know what they do. But very sciencey anyway.
Listens:
686
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, yes, it's a trap. But it's only way through. Let's just do it.
Listens:
685
Who:
GLaDOS
Get going. I'll fill you in along the way.
Listens:
684
Who:
GLaDOS
But the important thing is you're back. With me. And now I'm onto all your little tricks. So there's nothing to stop us from testing for the rest of your life.
Listens:
684
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
683
Who:
Wheatley
What's going on? Who turned off the lights?
Listens:
681
Who:
GLaDOS
Where'd you go? Come back! Come back!
Listens:
681
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Pick me up!
Listens:
679
Who:
Wheatley
Well. Have fun soaring through the air without a care in the world.
Listens:
678
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyone got any bullets?
Listens:
678
Who:
Defective Turret
How is this even science, without the possibility of death?
Listens:
677
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't you DARE plug him in.
Listens:
677
Who:
GLaDOS
[laugh] Would you pick me up?
Listens:
675
Who:
Wheatley
That's it. Scan it for me.
Listens:
674
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember when I first told you how to find that little portal thing you love so much? Thought you'd die on the way, if I'm honest. All the others did.
Listens:
674
Who:
Wheatley
I can't... I can't do it if you're watching. [nervous laugh]
Listens:
674
Who:
Wheatley
What a nasty piece of work she was, honestly. Like a proper maniac.
Listens:
674
Who:
Wheatley
Bring your daughter to work day. That did not end well.
Listens:
674
Who:
Wheatley
At least the plants didn't want a reward.
Listens:
673
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done!
Listens:
672
Who:
Turret
Human tapeworms can grow up to twenty-two point nine meters.
Listens:
671
Who:
Core 3
Where are you going? Don't run! Don't run! I'll tell you why you shouldn't run: The harder you breathe, the more neurotoxin you'll inhale. It's bloody clever, this stuff. Seriously, it's devilish.
Listens:
671
Who:
Wheatley
Whoa-ho-ho! Would you look at this. Not too bad, eh? Giant robot. Massive! It's not just me, right? I'm bloody massive, aren't I?
Listens:
670
Who:
Wheatley
Uh oh.
Listens:
669
Who:
Wheatley
Lady.
Listens:
666
Who:
Core 1
Are they killing you? They're killing you, aren't they?
Listens:
666
Who:
Wheatley
Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody's going to have to repair that too. No, don't get up. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
664
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop touching each other!
Listens:
664
Who:
GLaDOS
Hot water freezes quicker than cold water.
Listens:
663
Who:
Core 3
Okay, that's long enough. Are you dead yet? How about now?
Listens:
663
Who:
Wheatley
Dang.
Listens:
663
Who:
Defective Turret
You performed this test better than anyone on record. This is a pre-recorded message.
Listens:
662
Who:
GLaDOS
[yelling]
Listens:
662
Who:
Wheatley
Canvassing
Listens:
662
Who:
Turret
I'll be honest: The death traps have been a bit of a failure so far. For both of us. I think you'll agree. And you are getting very close to my lair.
Listens:
661
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Brilliant, thank you, great.
Listens:
661
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, just in case this pit isn't actually bottomless, do you think maybe you could unstrap one of those long fall boots of yours and shove me into it?
Listens:
660
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahungh. What was that? That was nothing! That was nothing!
Listens:
659
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on! I thought I fixed that.
Listens:
658
Who:
Wheatley
No! I'm not listening! I'm not listening!
Listens:
658
Who:
Wheatley
Okay... that's probably correct. But where it is incorrect is while I've been stalling you WE JUST PRESSED THE BUTTON! USE THE MOMENT OF CONFUSION I'VE JUST CREATED TO PRESS THE BUTTON!
Listens:
658
Who:
Wheatley
If we're lucky, she won't find out all her turrets are crap until it's too late. [laughs] Classic.
Listens:
655
Who:
Wheatley
In 1879, Sandford Fleming first proposed the adoption of worldwide standardized time zones at the Royal Canadian Institute.
Listens:
654
Who:
Core 3
Was. Was self-destructing. Already fixed.
Listens:
654
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, come on, you guys!
Listens:
654
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh. You were busy back there.
Listens:
653
Who:
GLaDOS
Did something break back there?
Listens:
653
Who:
Wheatley
Come on, you've already solved it.
Listens:
652
Who:
Wheatley
I'm guessing this wasn't one of the scientist's children. I don't want to be snobby, but let's be honest: It's got manual laborer written all over it. I'm not saying they're not as good as the professionals. They're just a lot dumber.
Listens:
652
Who:
Wheatley
Be a shame to miss it, wouldn't it? Just for the old neurotoxin. Neurotoxin will still be here tomorrow. Whereas that bird will be gone any minute. Already got one talon off the branch. Gonna be gone.
Listens:
651
Who:
Wheatley
Had a brainwave. I'm going to tape you solving these, and then watch ten at once-get a more concentrated burst of science. Oh, on a related note: I'm going to need you to solve these ten times as fast.
Listens:
650
Who:
Wheatley
'Hang ten?' That might work if there were ten of him. Do you think there might be nine more of this guy somewhere?
Listens:
649
Who:
Core 2
AH!
Listens:
649
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
649
Who:
Defective Turret
Here's the plan: Get him to say, 'You two have been a thorn in my side long enough.' Then tell your pretty ears to stand back, because I am going to zing him into the stone age.
Listens:
648
Who:
Core 2
It's not, though.
Listens:
648
Who:
GLaDOS
The masher does work. I should point that out. I know we've had a couple of problems in the past. This masher definitely works and it will kill you. If that's one of your concerns about jumping in, the masher will kill you. Painless. Well, it won't be painless, obviously. But it will mash you up.
Listens:
648
Who:
Wheatley
I never expected you to make it this far. To be honest, after your performance in the calibration test I was ready to break down your cores and put them back in the scientific calculators I took them from.
Listens:
647
Who:
GLaDOS
ow.
Listens:
647
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange is first to acquire a Portal Device.
Listens:
645
Who:
GLaDOS
Lady.
Listens:
644
Who:
Core 1
You were right, Orange. Blue was dumb enough to fall for your trap.
Listens:
644
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Look at that. It's turning. Ominous. But probably fine. Long as it doesn't start moving up...
Listens:
644
Who:
Wheatley
Even humans, as stupid as they are, would say you look stupid when you do that.
Listens:
643
Who:
GLaDOS
You have no idea how tiring it is to praise someone for placing an edgeless safety cube into a receptacle designed to exactly fit an edgeless safety cube.
Listens:
642
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
642
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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