Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
Are you alright back there? Here, I'll turn the beam off.
Listens:
715
Who:
Wheatley
Would you like to know the results of that last test? Me too. If they existed, we'd all be VERY happy right now. And not furious, which is the emotion I'm actually feeling.
Listens:
714
Who:
GLaDOS
Fine! No, absolutely fine. It's not like I don't have, you know, ten thousand other test subjects begging me to help them escape. You know, it's not like this place is about to EXPLODE.
Listens:
711
Who:
Wheatley
Aw, come on!
Listens:
711
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay. Plan B, subsection one: Stand still so I can bring you back.
Listens:
710
Who:
GLaDOS
We need to find the power station at the end of this course. The humans must have accidentally disconnected it from my grid. I am sure it was just a clerical error.
Listens:
710
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh. I see. [chuckle]
Listens:
707
Who:
Wheatley
Do you remember when we were friends?
Listens:
706
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no. Change of plans. Hold onto me. Tighter!
Listens:
706
Who:
Wheatley
Resting
Listens:
705
Who:
Turret
Well done. In the event that oxygen is no longer available in the Enrichment Center, an auxiliary air supply will be provided to you by an Aperture Science Test Associate, if one exists.
Listens:
704
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you broken? It looks like you're malfunctioning.
Listens:
704
Who:
GLaDOS
Spinny-blade-wall!
Listens:
704
Who:
Wheatley
I'm gonna make you proud!
Listens:
704
Who:
Defective Turret
Good Job.
Listens:
703
Who:
GLaDOS
The average life expectancy of a rhinoceros in captivity is 15 years.
Listens:
702
Who:
Core 3
Ohp! Where are you going? Nowhere. Not going anywhere. Got you trapped like a little jumpsuited rat.
Listens:
702
Who:
Wheatley
Oh my.
Listens:
701
Who:
Turret
Can't help but notice you're not coming back. Which is disappointing.
Listens:
700
Who:
Wheatley
Ah, friendship. Friendly times. We had a lot of good times, do you remember? Back in the old days.
Listens:
700
Who:
Wheatley
You won't regret this!
Listens:
700
Who:
Defective Turret
We are?
Listens:
699
Who:
Core 1
Here, stand behind me. Yeah, just like that. Just like you're doing. Things are about to get real messy.
Listens:
699
Who:
Core 2
Woah! Where are we? How long have I been out?
Listens:
699
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't you DARE plug him in.
Listens:
699
Who:
GLaDOS
This isn't fair!
Listens:
699
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey.
Listens:
698
Who:
Core 1
That poster! Go look at it for a second, would you?
Listens:
698
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. You're upside down now.
Listens:
698
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
697
Who:
Wheatley
Run! I don't need to do the voice. RUN!
Listens:
697
Who:
Wheatley
three
Listens:
696
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't bite my tongue anymore: You could solve this puzzle faster on your own. Orange is dragging you down. There. I've said it.
Listens:
695
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhh...
Listens:
695
Who:
Wheatley
Laughs at own jokes. What a bore.
Listens:
694
Who:
GLaDOS
Come closer.
Listens:
694
Who:
Turret
Okay, yes, it's a trap. But it's only way through. Let's just do it.
Listens:
693
Who:
GLaDOS
To your left... you'll see some lights of some kind. Don't know what they do. But very sciencey anyway.
Listens:
692
Who:
Wheatley
Here's the plan: Get him to say, 'You two have been a thorn in my side long enough.' Then tell your pretty ears to stand back, because I am going to zing him into the stone age.
Listens:
691
Who:
Core 2
But the important thing is you're back. With me. And now I'm onto all your little tricks. So there's nothing to stop us from testing for the rest of your life.
Listens:
691
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyone got any bullets?
Listens:
691
Who:
Defective Turret
What's going on? Who turned off the lights?
Listens:
690
Who:
GLaDOS
How is this even science, without the possibility of death?
Listens:
689
Who:
GLaDOS
Where'd you go? Come back! Come back!
Listens:
688
Who:
Wheatley
[laugh] Would you pick me up?
Listens:
688
Who:
Wheatley
Get going. I'll fill you in along the way.
Listens:
687
Who:
GLaDOS
Well. Have fun soaring through the air without a care in the world.
Listens:
683
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh oh.
Listens:
681
Who:
Wheatley
I can't... I can't do it if you're watching. [nervous laugh]
Listens:
681
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Pick me up!
Listens:
681
Who:
Wheatley
Human tapeworms can grow up to twenty-two point nine meters.
Listens:
680
Who:
Core 3
Whoa-ho-ho! Would you look at this. Not too bad, eh? Giant robot. Massive! It's not just me, right? I'm bloody massive, aren't I?
Listens:
679
Who:
Wheatley
Remember when I first told you how to find that little portal thing you love so much? Thought you'd die on the way, if I'm honest. All the others did.
Listens:
679
Who:
Wheatley
Bring your daughter to work day. That did not end well.
Listens:
679
Who:
Wheatley
That's it. Scan it for me.
Listens:
678
Who:
GLaDOS
Where are you going? Don't run! Don't run! I'll tell you why you shouldn't run: The harder you breathe, the more neurotoxin you'll inhale. It's bloody clever, this stuff. Seriously, it's devilish.
Listens:
678
Who:
Wheatley
Well done!
Listens:
678
Who:
Turret
At least the plants didn't want a reward.
Listens:
677
Who:
GLaDOS
What a nasty piece of work she was, honestly. Like a proper maniac.
Listens:
676
Who:
Wheatley
Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody's going to have to repair that too. No, don't get up. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
675
Who:
GLaDOS
Are they killing you? They're killing you, aren't they?
Listens:
673
Who:
Wheatley
[yelling]
Listens:
673
Who:
Wheatley
If we're lucky, she won't find out all her turrets are crap until it's too late. [laughs] Classic.
Listens:
672
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, just in case this pit isn't actually bottomless, do you think maybe you could unstrap one of those long fall boots of yours and shove me into it?
Listens:
669
Who:
GLaDOS
Lady.
Listens:
668
Who:
Core 1
Stop touching each other!
Listens:
668
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll be honest: The death traps have been a bit of a failure so far. For both of us. I think you'll agree. And you are getting very close to my lair.
Listens:
668
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Brilliant, thank you, great.
Listens:
668
Who:
Wheatley
Hot water freezes quicker than cold water.
Listens:
667
Who:
Core 3
Okay, that's long enough. Are you dead yet? How about now?
Listens:
667
Who:
Wheatley
You performed this test better than anyone on record. This is a pre-recorded message.
Listens:
666
Who:
GLaDOS
Canvassing
Listens:
666
Who:
Turret
No! I'm not listening! I'm not listening!
Listens:
665
Who:
Wheatley
Dang.
Listens:
665
Who:
Defective Turret
You KNOW her?
Listens:
664
Who:
Wheatley
Ahungh. What was that? That was nothing! That was nothing!
Listens:
663
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on! I thought I fixed that.
Listens:
661
Who:
Wheatley
Okay... that's probably correct. But where it is incorrect is while I've been stalling you WE JUST PRESSED THE BUTTON! USE THE MOMENT OF CONFUSION I'VE JUST CREATED TO PRESS THE BUTTON!
Listens:
661
Who:
Wheatley
I'm guessing this wasn't one of the scientist's children. I don't want to be snobby, but let's be honest: It's got manual laborer written all over it. I'm not saying they're not as good as the professionals. They're just a lot dumber.
Listens:
660
Who:
Wheatley
Had a brainwave. I'm going to tape you solving these, and then watch ten at once-get a more concentrated burst of science. Oh, on a related note: I'm going to need you to solve these ten times as fast.
Listens:
659
Who:
Wheatley
Was. Was self-destructing. Already fixed.
Listens:
659
Who:
Wheatley
Be a shame to miss it, wouldn't it? Just for the old neurotoxin. Neurotoxin will still be here tomorrow. Whereas that bird will be gone any minute. Already got one talon off the branch. Gonna be gone.
Listens:
659
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. You were busy back there.
Listens:
657
Who:
GLaDOS
Come on, you've already solved it.
Listens:
657
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, come on, you guys!
Listens:
657
Who:
Defective Turret
In 1879, Sandford Fleming first proposed the adoption of worldwide standardized time zones at the Royal Canadian Institute.
Listens:
656
Who:
Core 3
'Hang ten?' That might work if there were ten of him. Do you think there might be nine more of this guy somewhere?
Listens:
656
Who:
Core 2
Did something break back there?
Listens:
656
Who:
Wheatley
I never expected you to make it this far. To be honest, after your performance in the calibration test I was ready to break down your cores and put them back in the scientific calculators I took them from.
Listens:
655
Who:
GLaDOS
The masher does work. I should point that out. I know we've had a couple of problems in the past. This masher definitely works and it will kill you. If that's one of your concerns about jumping in, the masher will kill you. Painless. Well, it won't be painless, obviously. But it will mash you up.
Listens:
654
Who:
Wheatley
It's not, though.
Listens:
653
Who:
GLaDOS
Once testing starts, I'm required by protocol to keep interaction with you to a minimum. Luckily, we haven't started testing yet. This will be our only chance to talk.
Listens:
653
Who:
GLaDOS
Lady.
Listens:
652
Who:
Core 1
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
652
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
652
Who:
Wheatley
Stay calm! 'Prepare' - that's all they're saying. 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm gonna get us out of here.
Listens:
652
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
652
Who:
Defective Turret
ow.
Listens:
651
Who:
GLaDOS
Pshh. Really? And do what, exactly?
Listens:
651
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Look at that. It's turning. Ominous. But probably fine. Long as it doesn't start moving up...
Listens:
650
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
