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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Oh no. Change of plans. Hold onto me. Tighter!
Listens:
670
Who:
Wheatley
Ohp! Where are you going? Nowhere. Not going anywhere. Got you trapped like a little jumpsuited rat.
Listens:
669
Who:
Wheatley
Don't worry I'm absolutely guaranteeing you 100 percent that it's this way... Oh it's not this way.
Listens:
669
Who:
Wheatley
We are?
Listens:
668
Who:
Core 1
Ah, friendship. Friendly times. We had a lot of good times, do you remember? Back in the old days.
Listens:
668
Who:
Wheatley
Resting
Listens:
668
Who:
Turret
Here, stand behind me. Yeah, just like that. Just like you're doing. Things are about to get real messy.
Listens:
667
Who:
Core 2
We need to find the power station at the end of this course. The humans must have accidentally disconnected it from my grid. I am sure it was just a clerical error.
Listens:
666
Who:
GLaDOS
Where'd you go? Come back! Come back!
Listens:
666
Who:
Wheatley
Woooo! I KNEW this would be fun. They told me it wasn't fun at all, and I BELIEVED 'em! Ah! I'm loving this! Whale of a time...
Listens:
666
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh. I see. [chuckle]
Listens:
665
Who:
Wheatley
Run! I don't need to do the voice. RUN!
Listens:
664
Who:
Wheatley
Also, I took the liberty of watching the tapes of you killing her, and I'm not going to make the same mistakes. Four part plan is this:
Listens:
663
Who:
Wheatley
Well done!
Listens:
663
Who:
Turret
Your failure brings back such wonderful memories.
Listens:
662
Who:
GLaDOS
Spinny-blade-wall!
Listens:
662
Who:
Wheatley
Are you expecting applause?
Listens:
660
Who:
GLaDOS
The occupation of court jester was invented accidentally, when a vassal's epilepsy was mistaken for capering.
Listens:
659
Who:
Core 3
Get going. I'll fill you in along the way.
Listens:
659
Who:
GLaDOS
Bring your daughter to work day. That did not end well.
Listens:
658
Who:
Wheatley
three
Listens:
657
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't bite my tongue anymore: You could solve this puzzle faster on your own. Orange is dragging you down. There. I've said it.
Listens:
657
Who:
GLaDOS
That poster! Go look at it for a second, would you?
Listens:
657
Who:
GLaDOS
The average life expectancy of a rhinoceros in captivity is 15 years.
Listens:
656
Who:
Core 3
Can't help but notice you're not coming back. Which is disappointing.
Listens:
656
Who:
Wheatley
Laughs at own jokes. What a bore.
Listens:
655
Who:
GLaDOS
But the important thing is you're back. With me. And now I'm onto all your little tricks. So there's nothing to stop us from testing for the rest of your life.
Listens:
655
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey.
Listens:
653
Who:
Core 1
Congratulations. You're upside down now.
Listens:
653
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
653
Who:
Wheatley
This isn't fair!
Listens:
653
Who:
Defective Turret
To celebrate, I have a surprise for you!
Listens:
652
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyone got any bullets?
Listens:
652
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't forget! Thorn! Side!
Listens:
651
Who:
Core 2
Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody's going to have to repair that too. No, don't get up. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
650
Who:
GLaDOS
To your left... you'll see some lights of some kind. Don't know what they do. But very sciencey anyway.
Listens:
650
Who:
Wheatley
In fact, I devised a much more elaborate trap further ahead, for when you got through this easy one.
Listens:
649
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhh...
Listens:
649
Who:
Wheatley
Don't do it.
Listens:
648
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Pick me up!
Listens:
648
Who:
Wheatley
Dang.
Listens:
647
Who:
Defective Turret
Where are you going? Don't run! Don't run! I'll tell you why you shouldn't run: The harder you breathe, the more neurotoxin you'll inhale. It's bloody clever, this stuff. Seriously, it's devilish.
Listens:
646
Who:
Wheatley
Don't you DARE plug him in.
Listens:
645
Who:
GLaDOS
That's it. Scan it for me.
Listens:
644
Who:
GLaDOS
Well. Have fun soaring through the air without a care in the world.
Listens:
643
Who:
GLaDOS
It's not, though.
Listens:
641
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Plan B, subsection one: Stand still so I can bring you back.
Listens:
640
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop touching each other!
Listens:
639
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, yes, it's a trap. But it's only way through. Let's just do it.
Listens:
638
Who:
GLaDOS
'Hang ten?' That might work if there were ten of him. Do you think there might be nine more of this guy somewhere?
Listens:
637
Who:
Core 2
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
637
Who:
Defective Turret
Human tapeworms can grow up to twenty-two point nine meters.
Listens:
636
Who:
Core 3
Hot water freezes quicker than cold water.
Listens:
636
Who:
Core 3
Well done. In the event that oxygen is no longer available in the Enrichment Center, an auxiliary air supply will be provided to you by an Aperture Science Test Associate, if one exists.
Listens:
634
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, just in case this pit isn't actually bottomless, do you think maybe you could unstrap one of those long fall boots of yours and shove me into it?
Listens:
630
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
630
Who:
Wheatley
Uh oh.
Listens:
630
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Brilliant, thank you, great.
Listens:
630
Who:
Wheatley
[laugh] Would you pick me up?
Listens:
630
Who:
Wheatley
Lady.
Listens:
629
Who:
Core 1
I'm sorry. The arrows seem to have rusted off. Good luck.
Listens:
629
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll be honest: The death traps have been a bit of a failure so far. For both of us. I think you'll agree. And you are getting very close to my lair.
Listens:
629
Who:
Wheatley
I forbid you to press it!
Listens:
628
Who:
Wheatley
Remember when I first told you how to find that little portal thing you love so much? Thought you'd die on the way, if I'm honest. All the others did.
Listens:
628
Who:
Wheatley
Woah! Where are we? How long have I been out?
Listens:
627
Who:
GLaDOS
Canvassing
Listens:
627
Who:
Turret
Honey does not spoil.
Listens:
626
Who:
Core 3
What's going on? Who turned off the lights?
Listens:
626
Who:
GLaDOS
Whoa-ho-ho! Would you look at this. Not too bad, eh? Giant robot. Massive! It's not just me, right? I'm bloody massive, aren't I?
Listens:
626
Who:
Wheatley
Lady.
Listens:
625
Who:
Core 1
You performed this test better than anyone on record. This is a pre-recorded message.
Listens:
625
Who:
GLaDOS
Come on, you've already solved it.
Listens:
625
Who:
Wheatley
The masher does work. I should point that out. I know we've had a couple of problems in the past. This masher definitely works and it will kill you. If that's one of your concerns about jumping in, the masher will kill you. Painless. Well, it won't be painless, obviously. But it will mash you up.
Listens:
625
Who:
Wheatley
No! I'm not listening! I'm not listening!
Listens:
625
Who:
Wheatley
What a nasty piece of work she was, honestly. Like a proper maniac.
Listens:
625
Who:
Wheatley
Are they killing you? They're killing you, aren't they?
Listens:
624
Who:
Wheatley
Just stop it already.
Listens:
622
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, come on, you guys!
Listens:
622
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, that's long enough. Are you dead yet? How about now?
Listens:
621
Who:
Wheatley
If we're lucky, she won't find out all her turrets are crap until it's too late. [laughs] Classic.
Listens:
621
Who:
Wheatley
Polymerase I polypeptide A is a human gene.
Listens:
619
Who:
Core 3
ow.
Listens:
619
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on! I thought I fixed that.
Listens:
619
Who:
Wheatley
Okay... that's probably correct. But where it is incorrect is while I've been stalling you WE JUST PRESSED THE BUTTON! USE THE MOMENT OF CONFUSION I'VE JUST CREATED TO PRESS THE BUTTON!
Listens:
619
Who:
Wheatley
You only failed
Listens:
618
Who:
GLaDOS
Did something break back there?
Listens:
618
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
618
Who:
Defective Turret
How is this even science, without the possibility of death?
Listens:
617
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange is first to acquire a Portal Device.
Listens:
616
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. You were busy back there.
Listens:
616
Who:
GLaDOS
For that Orange is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
615
Who:
GLaDOS
You see that button over there? You just need to ARRRRRGH!
Listens:
615
Who:
Wheatley
Fine, 500 point penalty for Orange.
Listens:
614
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, I almost forgot, when you go outside the testing courses the only way I can retrieve you is to violently disassemble and then carefully reassemble you.
Listens:
614
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue! Orange has always been my favorite.
Listens:
614
Who:
GLaDOS
See nothing bad happened.
Listens:
614
Who:
GLaDOS
Every square inch of the human body has 32 million bacteria on it.
Listens:
612
Who:
Core 3
At least the plants didn't want a reward.
Listens:
612
Who:
GLaDOS
You have no idea how tiring it is to praise someone for placing an edgeless safety cube into a receptacle designed to exactly fit an edgeless safety cube.
Listens:
612
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm guessing this wasn't one of the scientist's children. I don't want to be snobby, but let's be honest: It's got manual laborer written all over it. I'm not saying they're not as good as the professionals. They're just a lot dumber.
Listens:
611
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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