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Portal 2
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Hey
Listens:
981
Who:
Turret
Uhoh
Listens:
981
Who:
Turret
Good. You made it to one of the human habitats. We're looking for an artifact. Think of it as an archeological dig.
Listens:
980
Who:
GLaDOS
Pleased to meetcha.
Listens:
979
Who:
Defective Turret
Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.
Listens:
975
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes. You're the tumor.
Listens:
974
Who:
GLaDOS
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
973
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, I don't like this any more than you do. In fact, I like it less because I'm the one who got partially eaten by a bird.
Listens:
971
Who:
GLaDOS
You're navigating these test chambers faster than I can build them. So feel free to slow down and... do whatever it is you do when you're not destroying this facility.
Listens:
971
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, listen, let me lay something on you here. It's pretty heavy. They told me NEVER NEVER EVER to disengage myself from my Management Rail. Or I would DIE. But we're out of options here. So... get ready to catch me, alright, on the off chance that I'm not dead the moment I pop off this thing.
Listens:
969
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry to interject again, but if you do NOT push the button the deadly neurotoxin emitters will come back online, at which point she will most likely fill you to brimming with neurotoxin. Not trying to rush you. Just throwing that out for leisurely digestion in your own time.
Listens:
968
Who:
Wheatley
Oh God! Oh, don't need to do that anymore. The jig is up, RUN!
Listens:
968
Who:
Wheatley
Anyway, here's a new cube for you to project your deranged loneliness onto.
Listens:
967
Who:
GLaDOS
The hardest part of any hack is the figuring-out-how-to-start phase. That's always tricky. But... Let the games begin.
Listens:
967
Who:
Wheatley
This is trouble.
Listens:
967
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh, that's funny, is it? Because we've been at this twelve hours and you haven't solved it either, so I don't know why you're laughing.
Listens:
966
Who:
Wheatley
That's where YOU come in.
Listens:
963
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, I'm uh... I'm a bad man!
Listens:
962
Who:
Defective Turret
Halley's Comet can be viewed orbiting Earth every seventy-six years. For the other seventy-five, it retreats to the heart of the sun, where it hibernates undisturbed.
Listens:
961
Who:
Core 3
But don't be alarmed, alright? Although, if you do feel alarm, try to hold onto that feeling because that is the proper reaction to being told you have brain damage.
Listens:
961
Who:
Wheatley
I saw it. It was an accident.
Listens:
960
Who:
Turret
This is a clean room facility, decontaminates can harm the turret redemption process.
Listens:
959
Who:
Announcer
Hi again!
Listens:
956
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay don't panic! Allright? Stop panicking! I can still stop this. Ahh. Oh there's a password. It's fine. I'll just hack it. Not a problem... umm...
Listens:
953
Who:
Wheatley
Here we are. The Incinerator Room. Be careful not to trip over any parts of me that didn't get completely burned when you threw them down here.
Listens:
951
Who:
GLaDOS
This is the neurotoxin generator. Bit bigger than I expected. Not going to be able to just, you know, push it over. Have to apply some cleverness.
Listens:
948
Who:
Wheatley
Catwalks are safe during defective turret testing.
Listens:
947
Who:
Announcer
Listen to me. We had a lot of fun testing and antagonizing each other, and, yes, sometimes it went too far. But we're off the clock now. It's just us talking. Like regular people. And this is no joke - we are in deep trouble.
Listens:
947
Who:
GLaDOS
Just say 'Apple'. Easy word, isn't it? 'Apple'.
Listens:
947
Who:
Wheatley
Something’s wrong...
Listens:
947
Who:
Turret
Live turret line is active. Enter room with extreme caution.
Listens:
946
Who:
Announcer
This is Tic-Tac-Toe-Two.
Listens:
946
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't. Do it.
Listens:
945
Who:
GLaDOS
Paradoxes.
Listens:
945
Who:
GLaDOS
Help!
Listens:
942
Who:
Turret
You're just delaying the inevitable. You cannot run from my bombs forever. Well, you can if I keep aiming them poorly. But I'll get better as we go, and you'll just get tired.
Listens:
941
Who:
Wheatley
Non-defective turret testing active.
Listens:
940
Who:
Announcer
Being Caroline taught me another valuable lesson: where Caroline lives in my brain.
Listens:
940
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, even if you think we're still enemies, we're enemies with a common interest: Revenge.
Listens:
940
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't move. And unless you're planning to saw your own head off and wedge it into my old body, you're going to need me to replace him. We're at an impasse.
Listens:
938
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't move, though. That's the problem now.
Listens:
938
Who:
Wheatley
See you soon!
Listens:
938
Who:
Turret
How would you use it in a sentence? 'Mmm, this apple's crunchy,' you might say. And I'm not even asking you for the whole sentence. Just the word 'Apple'.
Listens:
937
Who:
Wheatley
Howdy, stranger! We're back!
Listens:
937
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
936
Who:
Defective Turret
Fantastic.
Listens:
936
Who:
Defective Turret
The engineers tried everything to make me... behave. To slow me down.
Listens:
935
Who:
GLaDOS
Aggressive. I like that.
Listens:
932
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, you passed the test. I didn't see the deer today. I did see some humans. But with you here I've got more test subjects than I'll ever need.
Listens:
931
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on.
Listens:
931
Who:
Wheatley
You have been a thorn in my side long enough!
Listens:
930
Who:
Wheatley
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
927
Who:
GLaDOS
Hibernating
Listens:
926
Who:
Turret
But don't be alarmed, alright? Because ah... well, actually, if you DO feel alarmed, hold onto that. Because the feeling of alarm is the proper reaction to being told you've got massive brain damage. So if you are alarmed, then it suggests the damage is not as serious as we thought. Although it probably is really serious.
Listens:
925
Who:
Wheatley
Searching
Listens:
924
Who:
Turret
Avoid defective defective turrets as they may still be active.
Listens:
923
Who:
Announcer
Roman toothpaste was made with human urine. Urine as an ingredient in toothpaste continued to be used up until the 18th century.
Listens:
923
Who:
Core 3
Okay, you win.
Listens:
923
Who:
Turret
Yeah, that's right! Still defective!
Listens:
922
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh dear.
Listens:
922
Who:
Turret
Oh! Wow! Good! I did not think that was going to work.
Listens:
921
Who:
Wheatley
Well done. Interesting note, I only created this test to watch test subjects fail and you didn't. You must be very, very proud. I'm building the world's smallest trophy for you.
Listens:
920
Who:
GLaDOS
Take me with you? Please?
Listens:
920
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm kidding.
Listens:
918
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not press that button!
Listens:
918
Who:
Wheatley
Ahh. What?
Listens:
916
Who:
Wheatley
I never liked her.
Listens:
916
Who:
Turret
You're in this together, aren't you? You've been playing me the whole time! Both of you! First you make me think you're brain damaged! Then you convince me you're sworn enemies with your best friend over here!
Listens:
915
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Non-lethal as ever.
Listens:
915
Who:
Defective Turret
I have a surprise waiting for you after this next test. Telling you would spoil the surprise, so I'll just give you a hint: It involves meeting two people you haven't seen in a long time.
Listens:
914
Who:
GLaDOS
Waddle over to the elevator and we'll continue the testing.
Listens:
913
Who:
GLaDOS
Gotta go to space.
Listens:
911
Who:
Core 1
Oh come on... If it makes you feel any better, they abandoned you at birth, so I very seriously doubt they'd even want to see you.
Listens:
911
Who:
GLaDOS
Annnnd we're back!
Listens:
911
Who:
Defective Turret
Alright. He's not even trying to be subtle anymore.
Listens:
910
Who:
GLaDOS
Hi?
Listens:
910
Who:
Turret
Come on, you've already solved it once. Less than a minute ago you solved this puzzle. Do it again, please.
Listens:
909
Who:
Wheatley
Can I help you?
Listens:
909
Who:
Turret
Raseph, the Semitic god of war and plague, had a gazelle growing out of his forehead.
Listens:
908
Who:
Core 3
The moon orbits the Earth every 27.32 days.
Listens:
907
Who:
Core 3
Oh no, don't. Anyway, back to you two imbeciles killing me.
Listens:
907
Who:
GLaDOS
Excuse me?
Listens:
906
Who:
Turret
We've had some times, haven't we? Like that time I jumped off my management rail, not sure if I'd die or not when I did, and all you had to do was catch me? Annnd you didn't. Did you? Ohhhh. You remember that? I remember that. I remember that all the time.
Listens:
902
Who:
Wheatley
You will be dead soon.
Listens:
901
Who:
Core 3
Plus, I put a lot of effort in getting this lair ready for you. It'd certainly teach me a lesson if you simply died, painlessly, twenty feet from the door. I'd be furious. I'd be like RRRRR. I got my just desserts. No more than I deserve. Why not teach me a lesson by jumping in the old masher?
Listens:
901
Who:
Wheatley
I just now realized that I used to rely on my management rail to not fall into bottomless pits. And you're my rail now. And you can fall into bottomless pits. I'm rambling out of fear, but here's the point: don't get close to the edge.
Listens:
901
Who:
Wheatley
No no, no no, no no, whoa whoa, no, whoa!
Listens:
901
Who:
Defective Turret
Can't breathe...
Listens:
901
Who:
Turret
Keep it up and you will lose 500 points.
Listens:
900
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent.
Listens:
900
Who:
GLaDOS
I, uh... I am a bad man.
Listens:
900
Who:
Defective Turret
Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center.
Listens:
898
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, credit where it's due: for a little idiot built specifically to come up with stupid, unworkable plans, that was a pretty well laid trap.
Listens:
898
Who:
GLaDOS
Corruption at 25%
Listens:
897
Who:
Core 3
NO!
Listens:
894
Who:
GLaDOS
Because this message is prerecorded, the Enrichment Center has no way of knowing if whatever government remains offers any sort of Cattle Tuberculosis Testing Credit for taxes.
Listens:
892
Who:
GLaDOS
[to JERRY] See you in court, mate. [to player] Anyway, look, just hang in there for five more chambers.
Listens:
890
Who:
Wheatley
I was able - well, forced really - to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever.
Listens:
889
Who:
GLaDOS
You have a gift for these tests. That’s not just flattery. You are great at science.
Listens:
887
Who:
GLaDOS
After that...who knows? I might take up a hobby. Reanimating the dead, maybe.
Listens:
886
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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