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Sounds crazy, I know. But hear me out. Once you get to my lair, death will not be optional. It will be mandatory. No tricks, no surprises: just you dying, as a result of me killing you in a very very gruesome way.
Listens:
1040
Who:
Wheatley
Because of the technical difficulties we are currently experiencing, your test environment is unsupervised.
Listens:
1039
Who:
Announcer
Space. Space. Gonna go to space.
Listens:
1039
Who:
Core 1
Really? Okay.
Listens:
1039
Who:
GLaDOS
There. If you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own recognizance, I'll be right back.
Listens:
1037
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey.
Listens:
1036
Who:
Core 1
I love space. Love space.
Listens:
1034
Who:
Core 1
I don't want to drive a wedge between the two of you, but I've been studying Blue's performance, and I don't know how to put this... I'm certain you're trying very hard.
Listens:
1034
Who:
GLaDOS
He will most likely kill you, violently.
Listens:
1033
Who:
Core 3
Yes! Go and catch one of the crap turrets, and bring it back!
Listens:
1032
Who:
Wheatley
Space.
Listens:
1031
Who:
Core 1
I love space.
Listens:
1028
Who:
Core 1
Are we in space?
Listens:
1028
Who:
Core 1
Hey lady.
Listens:
1027
Who:
Core 1
Spheres that insist on going into space are inferior to spheres that don't.
Listens:
1027
Who:
Core 3
Let's go - let's go to space. Let's go to space.
Listens:
1022
Who:
Core 1
Corruption at 50%
Listens:
1022
Who:
Core 3
One: No portal surfaces.
Listens:
1021
Who:
Wheatley
Those of you helping us test the repulsion gel today, just follow the blue line on the floor.
Listens:
1020
Who:
Cave Johnson
Go press the button! Go press it!
Listens:
1019
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, I see you waving.
Listens:
1018
Who:
GLaDOS
Love space. Need to go to space.
Listens:
1016
Who:
Core 1
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit. They are found in Australians.
Listens:
1016
Who:
Core 3
Wanna go to -- wanna go to space
Listens:
1015
Who:
Core 1
Space wanna go wanna go to space wanna go to space
Listens:
1015
Who:
Core 1
As an impartial collaboration facilitator, it would be unfair of me to name my favorite member of your team. However, it’s perfectly fair to hint at it in a way that my least favorite member probably isn't smart enough to understand. Rhymeswithglue. Orange you are doing very well.
Listens:
1015
Who:
GLaDOS
Wanna go to space.
Listens:
1013
Who:
Core 1
Blah.
Listens:
1013
Who:
GLaDOS
Which involves deadly lasers and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly lasers.
Listens:
1013
Who:
GLaDOS
'Lair' - heh, weird isn't it? First time I've said it out loud. Sounds a bit ridiculous, really. But I can assure you it is one. A proper lair. Deadly lair.
Listens:
1012
Who:
Wheatley
Space.
Listens:
1011
Who:
Core 1
[out of breath] Okay. That's probably the bird, isn't it? That laid the eggs! Livid!
Listens:
1011
Who:
Wheatley
Going to space.
Listens:
1006
Who:
Core 1
Space space wanna go to space
Listens:
1004
Who:
Core 1
Please go to space.
Listens:
1001
Who:
Core 1
I made it all up.
Listens:
1001
Who:
GLaDOS
I thought we fixed that.
Listens:
999
Who:
Defective Turret
Ow!
Listens:
998
Who:
Turret
If you had any belongings, please pick them up now. We don't want old newspapers and sticks cluttering up the building.
Listens:
996
Who:
Cave Johnson
We're not gonna release this stuff into the wild until it's good and damn ready, so as long as you keep yourself in top physical form, there'll always be a limo waiting for you.
Listens:
995
Who:
Cave Johnson
Hey.
Listens:
995
Who:
Core 1
Your test assignment will vary, depending on the manner in which you have bent the world to your will.
Listens:
994
Who:
Cave Johnson
The testing area's just up ahead. The quicker you get through, the quicker you'll get your sixty bucks.
Listens:
994
Who:
Cave Johnson
Wanna go to space. Space.
Listens:
994
Who:
Core 1
The Enrichment Center will now provide a list of numbers and fruits. Write them down as they will become important later in the experiment. Not the fruits, though. Seven. Avocado. Forty. Please continue into the next test chamber.
Listens:
993
Who:
GLaDOS
While I was out investigating, I found a fascinating new test element. It's never been used for human testing because, apparently, contact with it causes heart failure. The literature doesn't mention anything about lump-of-coal failure, though, so you should be fine.
Listens:
993
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
993
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm going to space.
Listens:
992
Who:
Core 1
Oh! Oh oh! Yes. Alright. Just had a brainwave. I'll be back. If you're still alive. I'll be back. Don't die until I get back.
Listens:
992
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going. Going to space.
Listens:
991
Who:
Core 1
Space.
Listens:
991
Who:
Core 1
Oh, remember the time I took over the facility? Greatest moment of my life, but you just wanted to leave. Didn't want to share in my success. Well, so you know, I'd be happy for you if you succeeded. Apart from right now, obviously.
Listens:
991
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh! Are you having a laugh?
Listens:
991
Who:
Wheatley
Luckily I'm a bigger person than that. I'm happy to put this all behind us and get back to work. After all, we've got a lot to do, and only sixty more years to do it. More or less. I don't have the actuarial tables in front of me.
Listens:
989
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't forget!
Listens:
989
Who:
Turret
Rats cannot throw up.
Listens:
986
Who:
Core 3
Oh! Yes. Well done.
Listens:
986
Who:
Wheatley
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
985
Who:
Core 1
Well. I suppose we could just sit in this room and glare at each other until somebody drops dead, but I have a better idea.
Listens:
985
Who:
GLaDOS
For that Blue is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
981
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, DON'T PANIC! I can still stop it, not a problem. There's a password! I'll just hack it. Here we go.
Listens:
981
Who:
Wheatley
Put me in the game, coach!
Listens:
979
Who:
Defective Turret
Ah for Pete's sake!
Listens:
976
Who:
Defective Turret
Hello!
Listens:
973
Who:
Wheatley
This course was created and then abandoned by humans. They tend to do that, create something wonderful and then abandon it.
Listens:
972
Who:
GLaDOS
Nice catch, Orange.
Listens:
971
Who:
GLaDOS
Back again!
Listens:
968
Who:
Defective Turret
Put me down!
Listens:
966
Who:
Turret
Hold on. Those are raccoons. Homo sapiens only, please.
Listens:
963
Who:
GLaDOS
Two: Start the neurotoxin immediately.
Listens:
963
Who:
Wheatley
Horrible people skills.
Listens:
961
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh well. We have warehouses FULL of the things. Absolutely worthless. I'm happy to get rid of them.
Listens:
959
Who:
GLaDOS
Owwww!
Listens:
959
Who:
Turret
What? No, you pressed that bAGGGHHHHHH
Listens:
956
Who:
Wheatley
I talked my way onto the nanobot work crew rebuilding this shaft. They're REALLY small, so they have very tiny little brains. But there're a billion of 'em, so it's only a matter of time until ONE of them notices I'm the size of a planet.
Listens:
956
Who:
Wheatley
Three: Bomb-proof shields for me. Leading directly into number Four: Bombs. For throwing at you.
Listens:
955
Who:
Wheatley
Take me with you...
Listens:
955
Who:
Turret
Please do not engage with turrets heading towards redemption.
Listens:
954
Who:
Announcer
Owww!
Listens:
954
Who:
Turret
Uhoh
Listens:
953
Who:
Turret
'Skeletons.' Right, I guess I DID stockpile some tests.
Listens:
951
Who:
GLaDOS
Defective Turret testing active.
Listens:
950
Who:
Announcer
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Man, that sounded a whole lot better in my head.
Listens:
950
Who:
Core 2
Here, let me put on some adventure music.
Listens:
948
Who:
Core 2
The first commercial airline flight took to the air in 1914. Everyone involved screamed the entire way.
Listens:
946
Who:
Core 3
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
946
Who:
Defective Turret
The two of you have forged an excellent partnership, with one of you handling the cerebral challenges and the other ready to ponderously waddle into action should the test suddenly become an eating contest.
Listens:
944
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. You made it to one of the human habitats. We're looking for an artifact. Think of it as an archeological dig.
Listens:
943
Who:
GLaDOS
ONE Catchmecatchmecatchmecatchmecatchme
Listens:
943
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, I'm uh... I'm a bad man!
Listens:
942
Who:
Defective Turret
You have just passed through an Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill, which vaporizes most Aperture Science equipment that touches it.
Listens:
941
Who:
Announcer
I’m scared!
Listens:
940
Who:
Turret
Pleased to meetcha.
Listens:
939
Who:
Defective Turret
Hello.
Listens:
937
Who:
Wheatley
I'm not going to lie to you, the odds are a million to one. And that's with some generous rounding.
Listens:
936
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay don't panic! Allright? Stop panicking! I can still stop this. Ahh. Oh there's a password. It's fine. I'll just hack it. Not a problem... umm...
Listens:
935
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.
Listens:
933
Who:
GLaDOS
This is a sterile environment; please refrain from riding on the turret line.
Listens:
932
Who:
Announcer
Hey
Listens:
931
Who:
Turret
Thank you for completing the testing courses. If you enjoyed your experience, you may now re-enter the testing course of your choice.
Listens:
930
Who:
Announcer
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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