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You will never go into space.
Listens:
1024
Who:
Core 3
Sounds crazy, I know. But hear me out. Once you get to my lair, death will not be optional. It will be mandatory. No tricks, no surprises: just you dying, as a result of me killing you in a very very gruesome way.
Listens:
1024
Who:
Wheatley
Space. Space. Gonna go to space.
Listens:
1021
Who:
Core 1
Are we in space?
Listens:
1019
Who:
Core 1
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
1018
Who:
Announcer
I love space.
Listens:
1017
Who:
Core 1
I don't want to drive a wedge between the two of you, but I've been studying Blue's performance, and I don't know how to put this... I'm certain you're trying very hard.
Listens:
1016
Who:
GLaDOS
Now, you already met one another on the limo ride over, so let me introduce myself.
Listens:
1015
Who:
Cave Johnson
Hello again, did you know these are the only set of tests available to you... you are going to need to select them again.
Listens:
1014
Who:
GLaDOS
Please note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it.
Listens:
1010
Who:
Announcer
As an impartial collaboration facilitator, it would be unfair of me to name my favorite member of your team. However, it’s perfectly fair to hint at it in a way that my least favorite member probably isn't smart enough to understand. Rhymeswithglue. Orange you are doing very well.
Listens:
1010
Who:
GLaDOS
There. If you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own recognizance, I'll be right back.
Listens:
1009
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's go - let's go to space. Let's go to space.
Listens:
1008
Who:
Core 1
Spheres that insist on going into space are inferior to spheres that don't.
Listens:
1008
Who:
Core 3
Space wanna go wanna go to space wanna go to space
Listens:
1007
Who:
Core 1
Yes! Go and catch one of the crap turrets, and bring it back!
Listens:
1007
Who:
Wheatley
Blah.
Listens:
1006
Who:
GLaDOS
One: No portal surfaces.
Listens:
1004
Who:
Wheatley
Hey lady.
Listens:
1002
Who:
Core 1
Wanna go to -- wanna go to space
Listens:
997
Who:
Core 1
[out of breath] Okay. That's probably the bird, isn't it? That laid the eggs! Livid!
Listens:
997
Who:
Wheatley
Corruption at 50%
Listens:
996
Who:
Core 3
Space.
Listens:
995
Who:
Core 1
Yes, I see you waving.
Listens:
995
Who:
GLaDOS
'Lair' - heh, weird isn't it? First time I've said it out loud. Sounds a bit ridiculous, really. But I can assure you it is one. A proper lair. Deadly lair.
Listens:
992
Who:
Wheatley
Wanna go to space. Space.
Listens:
991
Who:
Core 1
Wanna go to space.
Listens:
991
Who:
Core 1
Going to space.
Listens:
990
Who:
Core 1
Love space. Need to go to space.
Listens:
990
Who:
Core 1
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit. They are found in Australians.
Listens:
990
Who:
Core 3
Space.
Listens:
989
Who:
Core 1
Those of you helping us test the repulsion gel today, just follow the blue line on the floor.
Listens:
987
Who:
Cave Johnson
Please go to space.
Listens:
987
Who:
Core 1
Your test assignment will vary, depending on the manner in which you have bent the world to your will.
Listens:
984
Who:
Cave Johnson
I'm going to space.
Listens:
983
Who:
Core 1
Hey.
Listens:
983
Who:
Core 1
If you had any belongings, please pick them up now. We don't want old newspapers and sticks cluttering up the building.
Listens:
982
Who:
Cave Johnson
The testing area's just up ahead. The quicker you get through, the quicker you'll get your sixty bucks.
Listens:
982
Who:
Cave Johnson
Space space wanna go to space
Listens:
982
Who:
Core 1
Go press the button! Go press it!
Listens:
982
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, remember the time I took over the facility? Greatest moment of my life, but you just wanted to leave. Didn't want to share in my success. Well, so you know, I'd be happy for you if you succeeded. Apart from right now, obviously.
Listens:
982
Who:
Wheatley
I thought we fixed that.
Listens:
982
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
982
Who:
Defective Turret
We're not gonna release this stuff into the wild until it's good and damn ready, so as long as you keep yourself in top physical form, there'll always be a limo waiting for you.
Listens:
981
Who:
Cave Johnson
Ow!
Listens:
981
Who:
Turret
Oh! Oh oh! Yes. Alright. Just had a brainwave. I'll be back. If you're still alive. I'll be back. Don't die until I get back.
Listens:
980
Who:
Wheatley
While I was out investigating, I found a fascinating new test element. It's never been used for human testing because, apparently, contact with it causes heart failure. The literature doesn't mention anything about lump-of-coal failure, though, so you should be fine.
Listens:
979
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh! Are you having a laugh?
Listens:
979
Who:
Wheatley
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
978
Who:
Core 1
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going. Going to space.
Listens:
972
Who:
Core 1
I made it all up.
Listens:
970
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't forget!
Listens:
969
Who:
Turret
Ah for Pete's sake!
Listens:
968
Who:
Defective Turret
Luckily I'm a bigger person than that. I'm happy to put this all behind us and get back to work. After all, we've got a lot to do, and only sixty more years to do it. More or less. I don't have the actuarial tables in front of me.
Listens:
964
Who:
GLaDOS
Rats cannot throw up.
Listens:
963
Who:
Core 3
This course was created and then abandoned by humans. They tend to do that, create something wonderful and then abandon it.
Listens:
962
Who:
GLaDOS
Which involves deadly lasers and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly lasers.
Listens:
959
Who:
GLaDOS
Put me in the game, coach!
Listens:
959
Who:
Defective Turret
Back again!
Listens:
955
Who:
Defective Turret
For that Blue is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
953
Who:
GLaDOS
Two: Start the neurotoxin immediately.
Listens:
953
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, DON'T PANIC! I can still stop it, not a problem. There's a password! I'll just hack it. Here we go.
Listens:
953
Who:
Wheatley
The Enrichment Center will now provide a list of numbers and fruits. Write them down as they will become important later in the experiment. Not the fruits, though. Seven. Avocado. Forty. Please continue into the next test chamber.
Listens:
952
Who:
GLaDOS
Well. I suppose we could just sit in this room and glare at each other until somebody drops dead, but I have a better idea.
Listens:
952
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Yes. Well done.
Listens:
952
Who:
Wheatley
Put me down!
Listens:
952
Who:
Turret
Hold on. Those are raccoons. Homo sapiens only, please.
Listens:
951
Who:
GLaDOS
What? No, you pressed that bAGGGHHHHHH
Listens:
948
Who:
Wheatley
Hello!
Listens:
943
Who:
Wheatley
Owww!
Listens:
943
Who:
Turret
Uhoh
Listens:
943
Who:
Turret
Nice catch, Orange.
Listens:
942
Who:
GLaDOS
Horrible people skills.
Listens:
942
Who:
GLaDOS
The first commercial airline flight took to the air in 1914. Everyone involved screamed the entire way.
Listens:
941
Who:
Core 3
I talked my way onto the nanobot work crew rebuilding this shaft. They're REALLY small, so they have very tiny little brains. But there're a billion of 'em, so it's only a matter of time until ONE of them notices I'm the size of a planet.
Listens:
939
Who:
Wheatley
Take me with you...
Listens:
937
Who:
Turret
Oh well. We have warehouses FULL of the things. Absolutely worthless. I'm happy to get rid of them.
Listens:
936
Who:
GLaDOS
Please do not engage with turrets heading towards redemption.
Listens:
934
Who:
Announcer
Yeah, I'm uh... I'm a bad man!
Listens:
934
Who:
Defective Turret
The two of you have forged an excellent partnership, with one of you handling the cerebral challenges and the other ready to ponderously waddle into action should the test suddenly become an eating contest.
Listens:
933
Who:
GLaDOS
'Skeletons.' Right, I guess I DID stockpile some tests.
Listens:
933
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello.
Listens:
932
Who:
Wheatley
Defective Turret testing active.
Listens:
931
Who:
Announcer
ONE Catchmecatchmecatchmecatchmecatchme
Listens:
931
Who:
Wheatley
Owwww!
Listens:
931
Who:
Turret
Here, let me put on some adventure music.
Listens:
930
Who:
Core 2
Three: Bomb-proof shields for me. Leading directly into number Four: Bombs. For throwing at you.
Listens:
928
Who:
Wheatley
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Man, that sounded a whole lot better in my head.
Listens:
924
Who:
Core 2
Okay don't panic! Allright? Stop panicking! I can still stop this. Ahh. Oh there's a password. It's fine. I'll just hack it. Not a problem... umm...
Listens:
919
Who:
Wheatley
Ah. I tell ya. Humans. Love 'em. Just... The way they look is great. And their... folklore. Wonderful isn't it? Very colorful...
Listens:
919
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.
Listens:
917
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm not going to lie to you, the odds are a million to one. And that's with some generous rounding.
Listens:
917
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
917
Who:
Defective Turret
Pleased to meetcha.
Listens:
917
Who:
Defective Turret
Hi again!
Listens:
916
Who:
Defective Turret
The hardest part of any hack is the figuring-out-how-to-start phase. That's always tricky. But... Let the games begin.
Listens:
915
Who:
Wheatley
I’m scared!
Listens:
915
Who:
Turret
Halley's Comet can be viewed orbiting Earth every seventy-six years. For the other seventy-five, it retreats to the heart of the sun, where it hibernates undisturbed.
Listens:
914
Who:
Core 3
But don't be alarmed, alright? Although, if you do feel alarm, try to hold onto that feeling because that is the proper reaction to being told you have brain damage.
Listens:
914
Who:
Wheatley
Good. You made it to one of the human habitats. We're looking for an artifact. Think of it as an archeological dig.
Listens:
913
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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