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Portal 2
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Let's see here, exit exit exit... there is no exit.
Listens:
538
Who:
Wheatley
What's that behind you? It's only a robot on a bloody stick! A different one!
Listens:
538
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I tried. Best of luck!
Listens:
538
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, hey, how ya doin'?
Listens:
538
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm actually asking. Because I have no idea. He's not listed anywhere in the employee database.
Listens:
537
Who:
GLaDOS
Whatever he does, it isn't important enough for anyone to bother writing it down. For all I know, he doesn't even work here.
Listens:
537
Who:
GLaDOS
You failed so many times in this test, I thought you were becoming human. But then you would just come back again and again and again.
Listens:
537
Who:
GLaDOS
Can you see the portal gun?
Listens:
537
Who:
Wheatley
NOT a team player.
Listens:
536
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't believe you came back.
Listens:
536
Who:
GLaDOS
If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.
Listens:
536
Who:
GLaDOS
This is just a thought experiment, just to see how much time you'll waste thinking about these worthless documents. The correct time is zero seconds.
Listens:
535
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember when I told you that he was specifically designed to make bad decisions? Because I think he's decided not to maintain any of the crucial functions required to keep this facility from exploding.
Listens:
535
Who:
GLaDOS
Seriously, I'm not joking. Could you just turn around for a second?
Listens:
535
Who:
Wheatley
Orange just taught blue a valuable lesson in trust. For that, orange receives 17 science collaboration points.
Listens:
534
Who:
GLaDOS
Thanks!
Listens:
534
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh, yeah, what?
Listens:
534
Who:
Defective Turret
Am I interrupting your important conversation?
Listens:
533
Who:
GLaDOS
No variances detected.
Listens:
533
Who:
GLaDOS
Doesn't bother me. I gotta say, the view's mighty nice from right here.
Listens:
532
Who:
Core 2
Thanks to you, I know where to find them, I removed their security and powered up their - uh - rescue door.
Listens:
532
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Fixed.
Listens:
532
Who:
Wheatley
So, when you kill that guy, do you have a cool line? You know, prepared? Tell you what: Lemme help you with that while you run around.
Listens:
530
Who:
Core 2
Just stop it already.
Listens:
530
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
530
Who:
Defective Turret
Did you think that would be funny?
Listens:
529
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh, not now!
Listens:
529
Who:
Defective Turret
Shake it off! Shake it off!
Listens:
528
Who:
Core 2
Congratulations on completing the Aperture Science standard cooperative testing courses.
Listens:
528
Who:
GLaDOS
Very good! You found those useless blueprints.
Listens:
527
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you curious about the humans? It seems some of the last non-testing humans alive tried to secretly imprison other humans and hide their tracks.
Listens:
527
Who:
GLaDOS
Hairless. Hm.
Listens:
527
Who:
GLaDOS
MOVE.
Listens:
527
Who:
Wheatley
Not getting better with age!
Listens:
527
Who:
Defective Turret
Ignores task at hand. Won't for long.
Listens:
526
Who:
GLaDOS
Without the consequence of death, is this even science?
Listens:
526
Who:
GLaDOS
Nevermind. I have to go... check something. Test on your own recognizance. I'll be back.
Listens:
526
Who:
GLaDOS
I’ve been listening to Orange talk and I don’t know how you put up with it, I really don’t. You have the patience of a saint.
Listens:
525
Who:
GLaDOS
The irony is that you were almost at the last test.
Listens:
525
Who:
GLaDOS
Always weeping. Poor thing.
Listens:
525
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, what?
Listens:
524
Who:
Defective Turret
ORANGE, please observe your partner's favorite animal.
Listens:
523
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
523
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry about the lift. It's, uh... out of service. Because it melted.
Listens:
523
Who:
Wheatley
There. Try it now.
Listens:
522
Who:
GLaDOS
A computer. Not a surprise. Expected. Check that off the list. Computer identified. Tick.
Listens:
522
Who:
Wheatley
Duck and weave, duck and weave! Ohh, the sweet science.
Listens:
520
Who:
Core 2
But I overcame my handicap. That's a true story.
Listens:
520
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah. That just cleans right off, does it? Well, that would have been good to know. A little earlier.
Listens:
520
Who:
Wheatley
Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
519
Who:
Wheatley
In order to ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled.
Listens:
518
Who:
GLaDOS
To clarify, I was being a little bit facetious about wanting to get rid of monitors. They're actually really quite useful. So I do want them around. So if you could just avoid smashing them.
Listens:
518
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. New plan. Act natural. We've done NOTHING wrong.
Listens:
518
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
518
Who:
Defective Turret
Nothing. He's good. This one. He is good. I'm gonna need to break out the expert level hacking maneuvers now. You asked for it Mate.
Listens:
517
Who:
Wheatley
I wonder if that dancing has some effect on you?
Listens:
516
Who:
GLaDOS
Hopeless. Just hopeless.
Listens:
516
Who:
GLaDOS
Not paying attennnntion...
Listens:
516
Who:
GLaDOS
Be careful. Hugging can lead to... well, me disassembling you forever.
Listens:
516
Who:
GLaDOS
Agh! You're alive! Great!
Listens:
516
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, so the bad news is the tests are MY tests now. So they can kill us.
Listens:
515
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no, you've got it, you've got it! Yes! Put him in there! Let's see how this place likes a crap turret.
Listens:
515
Who:
Wheatley
I'm going to be honest with you now. Not fake honest like before, but real honest, like you're incapable of. I know you're up to something.
Listens:
514
Who:
GLaDOS
Where we going? What are we doing? Agh!
Listens:
514
Who:
Defective Turret
Congratulations. I am sure if I had the time to repair these tests, you would have never completed them. So again, congratulations on completing the broken easy tests.
Listens:
513
Who:
GLaDOS
If he's not getting his solution euphoria, we could be in a lot of trouble.
Listens:
513
Who:
GLaDOS
GAH!
Listens:
512
Who:
Wheatley
I created this test to let the humans feel good about themselves. It is extremely easy. Just follow the arrows.
Listens:
511
Who:
GLaDOS
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
511
Who:
Defective Turret
It seems kind of silly to point this out, since you're running around plotting to destroy me. But I'd say we're done testing.
Listens:
510
Who:
GLaDOS
Nope. Okay. A... A... A... A... A... C.
Listens:
510
Who:
Wheatley
Hi there!
Listens:
509
Who:
Defective Turret
What are you two doing?
Listens:
508
Who:
GLaDOS
Say. Remember when we cleared the air back there? Is there... anything you want to say to me? Anything?
Listens:
508
Who:
GLaDOS
I heard gunfire! A bit late for this, but look out for gunfire! Probably doesn't help at this point, but I have at least tried.
Listens:
508
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Hey! It's me! I'm okay!
Listens:
507
Who:
Wheatley
Lactose intolerant.
Listens:
506
Who:
GLaDOS
And here's the best part. There's a conveyor belt that will convey you in convenient comfort right into the masher. You won't have to lift a finger. Everything's been taken care of. Didn't have to. Didn't have to do that.
Listens:
506
Who:
Wheatley
Ha! Missed me that time. Ohhh, you were solving-nevermind, carry on. My fault.
Listens:
506
Who:
Wheatley
Time to watch the master.
Listens:
505
Who:
Defective Turret
After seeing what he's done to my facility -- after we take over again -- is it alright if I kill him?
Listens:
504
Who:
GLaDOS
Do it!
Listens:
504
Who:
Wheatley
Run!
Listens:
504
Who:
Wheatley
Welcome back to the hub, did you fail at selecting the correct course?
Listens:
503
Who:
GLaDOS
So what do you say? You carry me up to him and put me back into my body, and I stop us from blowing up and let you go.
Listens:
503
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll bet you're both dying to know what your big surprise is. Only TWO more chambers!
Listens:
503
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Sorry. The lift. Sorry. I keep forgetting.
Listens:
502
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
502
Who:
Defective Turret
Watch and learn, everyone. Watch and learn.
Listens:
502
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, how ya doin'?
Listens:
502
Who:
Defective Turret
I’ll just save the safety information about the dangerous experiment you’re about to do for AFTER the experiment.
Listens:
501
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on. Get a goooood lonnnnng look.
Listens:
501
Who:
GLaDOS
And trust me, humans only have one good trait.
Listens:
500
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, alright.
Listens:
499
Who:
Defective Turret
You should both be familiar with the game of Tic-Tac-Toe.
Listens:
498
Who:
GLaDOS
The humans closed this test because they said it was too deadly. I thought they would have moved it into the testing track hall of fame for that, not let it deteriorate.
Listens:
498
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha ha ha ha ha. Did I tell you the one about the turned-off reassembly machine?
Listens:
498
Who:
GLaDOS
Agggh...
Listens:
498
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, I did my best.
Listens:
498
Who:
Defective Turret
Good. You have a dual portal device. There should be a way back to the testing area up ahead.
Listens:
496
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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