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Portal 2
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TF2 Music
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Dang.
Listens:
598
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
598
Who:
Defective Turret
BLUE, please observe your partner's... interesting choice.
Listens:
597
Who:
GLaDOS
Have you worked out the one good trait humans have, yet?
Listens:
597
Who:
GLaDOS
You did it! You powered on the system.
Listens:
597
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm fully connected. I can see everything.
Listens:
595
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Allright. I have an idea. But it is bloody dangerous. Here we go...
Listens:
594
Who:
Wheatley
I know you.
Listens:
592
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. No. I fizzled that one too.
Listens:
591
Who:
GLaDOS
You did an excellent job placing the edgeless safety cube in the receptacle, you should be very - oh wait.
Listens:
591
Who:
GLaDOS
Then, when he's no more use to you, he has a little accident. Doesn't he? 'Falls' off his management rail. Doesn't he?
Listens:
591
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
591
Who:
Defective Turret
Then there was a sort of long chunk of time where absolutely nothing happened and then there's us escaping now. So that's pretty much the whole story, you're up to speed. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
590
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, let's see. Cool line... He's... big. He's... just hangin' there. Okay. Yeah, all right, here we go: 'Hang around.' That might be too easy.
Listens:
589
Who:
Core 2
You are having so much trouble navigating this space; I wish I could say I created this test.
Listens:
589
Who:
GLaDOS
Dang!
Listens:
589
Who:
Defective Turret
I've been doing some reading. Did you know that the word orange is derived from the same Latin root as the word traitor?
Listens:
588
Who:
GLaDOS
Volcano-ologists are experts in the study of volcanoes.
Listens:
587
Who:
Core 3
clickclickclick
Listens:
587
Who:
Defective Turret
Ow.
Listens:
586
Who:
Wheatley
Locked and loaded!
Listens:
586
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
586
Who:
Defective Turret
Hold on, something's wrong! Neurotoxin level's up to 50%! No, it's down. Sorry, my mistake. I meant to say it's down to fifty percent. Good news! Carry on!
Listens:
585
Who:
Wheatley
Who said that?
Listens:
585
Who:
Defective Turret
Good.
Listens:
584
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah.
Listens:
584
Who:
GLaDOS
It didn't matter to me - I was in it for the science. Him, though...
Listens:
584
Who:
GLaDOS
No, wait, wait!
Listens:
584
Who:
Defective Turret
Yes!
Listens:
583
Who:
Wheatley
Good news! I can use this equipment to shut down the neurotoxin system. It is, however, password protected. AH! Alarm bells! No. Don't worry. Not a problem for me.
Listens:
582
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
581
Who:
Defective Turret
Good work! Now throw the ball over the ledge.
Listens:
580
Who:
GLaDOS
It would be pointless for either of us to hurt Blue’s feelings. But it’s clear to everyone monitoring the test who’s carrying who here.
Listens:
580
Who:
GLaDOS
Agggh, not again!
Listens:
579
Who:
Defective Turret
A... A... A... A... A... A.
Listens:
578
Who:
Wheatley
Good.
Listens:
577
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhhhhh, that's tremendous.
Listens:
577
Who:
Wheatley
Weak, tired and apprehensive. Wow, this one's the total package.
Listens:
576
Who:
GLaDOS
First thing I noticed about you: 'Now there's a lady who could resolve any button-based disputes,' I thought. A diamond in the rough, if you will--a a bloody natural. A born dispute resolution advisor in need of a button.
Listens:
576
Who:
Wheatley
Oh.
Listens:
576
Who:
Defective Turret
It wasn't anything personal. Just... you know. You DID kill me. Fair's fair.
Listens:
574
Who:
GLaDOS
AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.
Listens:
574
Who:
Wheatley
AH!
Listens:
574
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I gave it everything I could. Can't ask for more than that.
Listens:
574
Who:
Defective Turret
Startles easily. Boo!
Listens:
572
Who:
GLaDOS
Oo! I've got an idea!
Listens:
572
Who:
Wheatley
You just solved it, didn't you? I-told you to tell me before you... NNNNGH! Why are making this so HARD for me?
Listens:
572
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry. That just slipped out. A bit insensitive. Umm... The smelly humans...
Listens:
572
Who:
Wheatley
For this next test, the humans originally requested helmets to avoid brain injuries. I ran the numbers. Making the goo deadly was more cost effective.
Listens:
571
Who:
GLaDOS
Cheater.
Listens:
571
Who:
GLaDOS
NO!
Listens:
570
Who:
GLaDOS
If you want to just call it quits, we could just sit here. Forever. That's an option. Option A: Sit here. Do nothing. Option B: Go through there, and if she's alive, she'll almost certainly kill us.
Listens:
570
Who:
Wheatley
Pfff. I guess.
Listens:
569
Who:
Core 2
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
569
Who:
Wheatley
five
Listens:
568
Who:
GLaDOS
I know your cores are reused from calculation machines, built for simple mathematical operations and not for testing, but if we can rescue the humans I promise you something to add maybe even subtract.
Listens:
567
Who:
GLaDOS
Did something happen? [yawn] I wasn't watching.
Listens:
567
Who:
GLaDOS
four
Listens:
566
Who:
GLaDOS
Due to events beyond our control, some testing environments may contain flood damage or ongoing tribal warfare resulting from the collapse of civilization.
Listens:
566
Who:
GLaDOS
And there's a flat bit. Not sure what that is. But: noted. If anyone says to me is there a flat bit? Yes, there it is.
Listens:
566
Who:
Wheatley
How about a knife, then? You keep the gun, I'll use a knife.
Listens:
564
Who:
Core 2
Are you trying to impress me? What would impress me more is if you never did that again.
Listens:
564
Who:
GLaDOS
You didn't do anything.
Listens:
563
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. For him. Alright, back to thinking.
Listens:
563
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry.
Listens:
562
Who:
GLaDOS
The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects.
Listens:
562
Who:
Wheatley
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit.
Listens:
561
Who:
Core 3
A nanosecond lasts one billionth of a second.
Listens:
561
Who:
Core 3
Well, let's do some tests and see what happens.
Listens:
561
Who:
GLaDOS
Always sleeping.
Listens:
561
Who:
GLaDOS
It's eating me.
Listens:
561
Who:
GLaDOS
This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
Listens:
560
Who:
GLaDOS
Silently killing you. Probably. If I had to guess.
Listens:
559
Who:
Wheatley
Do not press that button!
Listens:
559
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. So my paradox idea didn't work.
Listens:
557
Who:
GLaDOS
And you'll probably get ringworm. And Athlete's Foot. And... Cholera. Or something... Horrible. It's gonna be even worse than if I'd just blown you up.
Listens:
557
Who:
Wheatley
ow.
Listens:
556
Who:
GLaDOS
Please get it off me.
Listens:
556
Who:
GLaDOS
Gently cleaning the tongue twice a day is the most effective way to fight bad breath.
Listens:
555
Who:
Core 3
Ohhhh. Another door malfunction. I'm going to take care of this once and for all. Stay here, I'll be back in a while.
Listens:
555
Who:
GLaDOS
Alarmist.
Listens:
554
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I'd just finished building them before you had your, well, episode. So now we'll both get to see how they work.
Listens:
554
Who:
GLaDOS
[tired breathing] Nevermind. Nevermind. Solve it yourself. You're on your own.
Listens:
554
Who:
Wheatley
What happened? What, what, what have you put onto me? What is that?
Listens:
553
Who:
Wheatley
Agh! You're alive! Great!
Listens:
553
Who:
Wheatley
This is just a thought experiment, just to see how much time you'll waste thinking about these worthless documents. The correct time is zero seconds.
Listens:
552
Who:
GLaDOS
She did all the work.
Listens:
552
Who:
GLaDOS
Whew. There we go! Now I'll be honest, you are probably in no fit state to run this particular type of cognitive gauntlet. But... um... at least you're a good jumper. So... you've got that. You've got the jumping on your side. Just do your best, and I'll meet you up ahead.
Listens:
552
Who:
Wheatley
Dare it. Dare to dream. Shoot for the stars.
Listens:
551
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, have it your way. What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control there? Cuz it looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire...
Listens:
550
Who:
Core 2
Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
549
Who:
GLaDOS
If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.
Listens:
549
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. [nervous laugh] Can't do it if you're leering at me. Creepy.
Listens:
549
Who:
Wheatley
Are you okay? Are you - Don't answer that. I'm absolutely sure you're fine. There's plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
549
Who:
Wheatley
Um.
Listens:
549
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't listen to him. Jump.
Listens:
548
Who:
GLaDOS
Try to get us down there. I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
548
Who:
GLaDOS
Hmm. This emancipation grill is broken.
Listens:
548
Who:
GLaDOS
Still running. Alright. Looks tiring. Tell you what - you stop running and I'll stop bombing you... That seems fair.
Listens:
548
Who:
Wheatley
Jammed 'em all together. Buttons. Got funnels. Bottomless pits are involved. It's got it all, it's absolute dynamite.
Listens:
548
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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