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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Always sad.
Listens:
588
Who:
GLaDOS
I know you.
Listens:
588
Who:
GLaDOS
You did an excellent job placing the edgeless safety cube in the receptacle, you should be very - oh wait.
Listens:
587
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. Not on the test.
Listens:
586
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, let's see. Cool line... He's... big. He's... just hangin' there. Okay. Yeah, all right, here we go: 'Hang around.' That might be too easy.
Listens:
585
Who:
Core 2
I'm fully connected. I can see everything.
Listens:
585
Who:
GLaDOS
No, wait, wait!
Listens:
584
Who:
Defective Turret
Then, when he's no more use to you, he has a little accident. Doesn't he? 'Falls' off his management rail. Doesn't he?
Listens:
583
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
583
Who:
Defective Turret
Who said that?
Listens:
583
Who:
Defective Turret
Have you worked out the one good trait humans have, yet?
Listens:
582
Who:
GLaDOS
Then there was a sort of long chunk of time where absolutely nothing happened and then there's us escaping now. So that's pretty much the whole story, you're up to speed. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
582
Who:
Wheatley
Good.
Listens:
580
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. No. I fizzled that one too.
Listens:
580
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah.
Listens:
580
Who:
GLaDOS
Ow.
Listens:
580
Who:
Wheatley
Locked and loaded!
Listens:
580
Who:
Defective Turret
Volcano-ologists are experts in the study of volcanoes.
Listens:
579
Who:
Core 3
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
578
Who:
Defective Turret
You seem to have defeated its load-bearing capacity. Well done. I'll just lower the ceiling.
Listens:
577
Who:
GLaDOS
I've been doing some reading. Did you know that the word orange is derived from the same Latin root as the word traitor?
Listens:
576
Who:
GLaDOS
It didn't matter to me - I was in it for the science. Him, though...
Listens:
576
Who:
GLaDOS
Good.
Listens:
575
Who:
GLaDOS
Good work! Now throw the ball over the ledge.
Listens:
575
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
574
Who:
Defective Turret
It would be pointless for either of us to hurt Blue’s feelings. But it’s clear to everyone monitoring the test who’s carrying who here.
Listens:
573
Who:
GLaDOS
You are having so much trouble navigating this space; I wish I could say I created this test.
Listens:
573
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhhhhh, that's tremendous.
Listens:
573
Who:
Wheatley
First thing I noticed about you: 'Now there's a lady who could resolve any button-based disputes,' I thought. A diamond in the rough, if you will--a a bloody natural. A born dispute resolution advisor in need of a button.
Listens:
573
Who:
Wheatley
Good news! I can use this equipment to shut down the neurotoxin system. It is, however, password protected. AH! Alarm bells! No. Don't worry. Not a problem for me.
Listens:
573
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on, something's wrong! Neurotoxin level's up to 50%! No, it's down. Sorry, my mistake. I meant to say it's down to fifty percent. Good news! Carry on!
Listens:
573
Who:
Wheatley
Agggh, not again!
Listens:
573
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, I gave it everything I could. Can't ask for more than that.
Listens:
572
Who:
Defective Turret
You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
Listens:
571
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh.
Listens:
571
Who:
Defective Turret
Dang!
Listens:
570
Who:
Defective Turret
A... A... A... A... A... A.
Listens:
569
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry. That just slipped out. A bit insensitive. Umm... The smelly humans...
Listens:
569
Who:
Wheatley
five
Listens:
567
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
567
Who:
Wheatley
You just solved it, didn't you? I-told you to tell me before you... NNNNGH! Why are making this so HARD for me?
Listens:
566
Who:
Wheatley
For this next test, the humans originally requested helmets to avoid brain injuries. I ran the numbers. Making the goo deadly was more cost effective.
Listens:
565
Who:
GLaDOS
NO!
Listens:
565
Who:
GLaDOS
four
Listens:
564
Who:
GLaDOS
Cheater.
Listens:
564
Who:
GLaDOS
Oo! I've got an idea!
Listens:
564
Who:
Wheatley
And there's a flat bit. Not sure what that is. But: noted. If anyone says to me is there a flat bit? Yes, there it is.
Listens:
563
Who:
Wheatley
Good. For him. Alright, back to thinking.
Listens:
562
Who:
GLaDOS
It wasn't anything personal. Just... you know. You DID kill me. Fair's fair.
Listens:
562
Who:
GLaDOS
Due to events beyond our control, some testing environments may contain flood damage or ongoing tribal warfare resulting from the collapse of civilization.
Listens:
562
Who:
GLaDOS
Did something happen? [yawn] I wasn't watching.
Listens:
562
Who:
GLaDOS
Pfff. I guess.
Listens:
561
Who:
Core 2
I know your cores are reused from calculation machines, built for simple mathematical operations and not for testing, but if we can rescue the humans I promise you something to add maybe even subtract.
Listens:
561
Who:
GLaDOS
It's eating me.
Listens:
560
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
560
Who:
Wheatley
How about a knife, then? You keep the gun, I'll use a knife.
Listens:
559
Who:
Core 2
Weak, tired and apprehensive. Wow, this one's the total package.
Listens:
559
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
559
Who:
Defective Turret
A nanosecond lasts one billionth of a second.
Listens:
558
Who:
Core 3
If you want to just call it quits, we could just sit here. Forever. That's an option. Option A: Sit here. Do nothing. Option B: Go through there, and if she's alive, she'll almost certainly kill us.
Listens:
558
Who:
Wheatley
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit.
Listens:
557
Who:
Core 3
Startles easily. Boo!
Listens:
557
Who:
GLaDOS
You didn't do anything.
Listens:
556
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry.
Listens:
555
Who:
GLaDOS
Always sleeping.
Listens:
554
Who:
GLaDOS
And you'll probably get ringworm. And Athlete's Foot. And... Cholera. Or something... Horrible. It's gonna be even worse than if I'd just blown you up.
Listens:
554
Who:
Wheatley
Please get it off me.
Listens:
552
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Allright. I have an idea. But it is bloody dangerous. Here we go...
Listens:
552
Who:
Wheatley
Gently cleaning the tongue twice a day is the most effective way to fight bad breath.
Listens:
550
Who:
Core 3
Well, let's do some tests and see what happens.
Listens:
549
Who:
GLaDOS
The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects.
Listens:
549
Who:
Wheatley
This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
Listens:
548
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhh. Another door malfunction. I'm going to take care of this once and for all. Stay here, I'll be back in a while.
Listens:
548
Who:
GLaDOS
[tired breathing] Nevermind. Nevermind. Solve it yourself. You're on your own.
Listens:
548
Who:
Wheatley
Dare it. Dare to dream. Shoot for the stars.
Listens:
548
Who:
Wheatley
Alarmist.
Listens:
547
Who:
GLaDOS
ow.
Listens:
547
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I'd just finished building them before you had your, well, episode. So now we'll both get to see how they work.
Listens:
547
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not press that button!
Listens:
547
Who:
Wheatley
AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.
Listens:
546
Who:
Wheatley
Jammed 'em all together. Buttons. Got funnels. Bottomless pits are involved. It's got it all, it's absolute dynamite.
Listens:
544
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. [nervous laugh] Can't do it if you're leering at me. Creepy.
Listens:
544
Who:
Wheatley
Silently killing you. Probably. If I had to guess.
Listens:
543
Who:
Wheatley
What happened? What, what, what have you put onto me? What is that?
Listens:
543
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, have it your way. What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control there? Cuz it looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire...
Listens:
542
Who:
Core 2
Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
542
Who:
GLaDOS
Wait here. Don't go anywhere. I'll be back.
Listens:
542
Who:
GLaDOS
Um.
Listens:
542
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't listen to him. Jump.
Listens:
541
Who:
GLaDOS
Try to get us down there. I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
541
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you okay? Are you - Don't answer that. I'm absolutely sure you're fine. There's plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
541
Who:
Wheatley
Whew. There we go! Now I'll be honest, you are probably in no fit state to run this particular type of cognitive gauntlet. But... um... at least you're a good jumper. So... you've got that. You've got the jumping on your side. Just do your best, and I'll meet you up ahead.
Listens:
541
Who:
Wheatley
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
541
Who:
Defective Turret
She did all the work.
Listens:
540
Who:
GLaDOS
Hmm. This emancipation grill is broken.
Listens:
540
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you trying to impress me? What would impress me more is if you never did that again.
Listens:
540
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes!
Listens:
540
Who:
Wheatley
Well, can't win 'em all...
Listens:
540
Who:
Defective Turret
Alright. So my paradox idea didn't work.
Listens:
539
Who:
GLaDOS
Still running. Alright. Looks tiring. Tell you what - you stop running and I'll stop bombing you... That seems fair.
Listens:
539
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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