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You did an excellent job placing the edgeless safety cube in the receptacle, you should be very - oh wait.
Listens:
589
Who:
GLaDOS
I know you.
Listens:
589
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
589
Who:
Defective Turret
Congratulations. Not on the test.
Listens:
587
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, let's see. Cool line... He's... big. He's... just hangin' there. Okay. Yeah, all right, here we go: 'Hang around.' That might be too easy.
Listens:
585
Who:
Core 2
I'm fully connected. I can see everything.
Listens:
585
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
585
Who:
Defective Turret
Then, when he's no more use to you, he has a little accident. Doesn't he? 'Falls' off his management rail. Doesn't he?
Listens:
584
Who:
Wheatley
Then there was a sort of long chunk of time where absolutely nothing happened and then there's us escaping now. So that's pretty much the whole story, you're up to speed. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
584
Who:
Wheatley
No, wait, wait!
Listens:
584
Who:
Defective Turret
Have you worked out the one good trait humans have, yet?
Listens:
583
Who:
GLaDOS
Who said that?
Listens:
583
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh. No. I fizzled that one too.
Listens:
581
Who:
GLaDOS
Good.
Listens:
580
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah.
Listens:
580
Who:
GLaDOS
You seem to have defeated its load-bearing capacity. Well done. I'll just lower the ceiling.
Listens:
580
Who:
GLaDOS
Ow.
Listens:
580
Who:
Wheatley
Locked and loaded!
Listens:
580
Who:
Defective Turret
Volcano-ologists are experts in the study of volcanoes.
Listens:
579
Who:
Core 3
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
579
Who:
Defective Turret
I've been doing some reading. Did you know that the word orange is derived from the same Latin root as the word traitor?
Listens:
578
Who:
GLaDOS
It didn't matter to me - I was in it for the science. Him, though...
Listens:
577
Who:
GLaDOS
You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
Listens:
577
Who:
GLaDOS
Good.
Listens:
576
Who:
GLaDOS
It would be pointless for either of us to hurt Blue’s feelings. But it’s clear to everyone monitoring the test who’s carrying who here.
Listens:
576
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, something's wrong! Neurotoxin level's up to 50%! No, it's down. Sorry, my mistake. I meant to say it's down to fifty percent. Good news! Carry on!
Listens:
576
Who:
Wheatley
Good work! Now throw the ball over the ledge.
Listens:
575
Who:
GLaDOS
Agggh, not again!
Listens:
575
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
575
Who:
Defective Turret
You are having so much trouble navigating this space; I wish I could say I created this test.
Listens:
574
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhhhhh, that's tremendous.
Listens:
573
Who:
Wheatley
First thing I noticed about you: 'Now there's a lady who could resolve any button-based disputes,' I thought. A diamond in the rough, if you will--a a bloody natural. A born dispute resolution advisor in need of a button.
Listens:
573
Who:
Wheatley
Good news! I can use this equipment to shut down the neurotoxin system. It is, however, password protected. AH! Alarm bells! No. Don't worry. Not a problem for me.
Listens:
573
Who:
Wheatley
Dang!
Listens:
573
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh.
Listens:
573
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, I gave it everything I could. Can't ask for more than that.
Listens:
572
Who:
Defective Turret
A... A... A... A... A... A.
Listens:
571
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry. That just slipped out. A bit insensitive. Umm... The smelly humans...
Listens:
571
Who:
Wheatley
five
Listens:
568
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
567
Who:
Wheatley
For this next test, the humans originally requested helmets to avoid brain injuries. I ran the numbers. Making the goo deadly was more cost effective.
Listens:
566
Who:
GLaDOS
NO!
Listens:
566
Who:
GLaDOS
Oo! I've got an idea!
Listens:
566
Who:
Wheatley
You just solved it, didn't you? I-told you to tell me before you... NNNNGH! Why are making this so HARD for me?
Listens:
566
Who:
Wheatley
four
Listens:
565
Who:
GLaDOS
Cheater.
Listens:
565
Who:
GLaDOS
It wasn't anything personal. Just... you know. You DID kill me. Fair's fair.
Listens:
564
Who:
GLaDOS
And there's a flat bit. Not sure what that is. But: noted. If anyone says to me is there a flat bit? Yes, there it is.
Listens:
564
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
564
Who:
Defective Turret
Weak, tired and apprehensive. Wow, this one's the total package.
Listens:
563
Who:
GLaDOS
Did something happen? [yawn] I wasn't watching.
Listens:
563
Who:
GLaDOS
I know your cores are reused from calculation machines, built for simple mathematical operations and not for testing, but if we can rescue the humans I promise you something to add maybe even subtract.
Listens:
562
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. For him. Alright, back to thinking.
Listens:
562
Who:
GLaDOS
Due to events beyond our control, some testing environments may contain flood damage or ongoing tribal warfare resulting from the collapse of civilization.
Listens:
562
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
562
Who:
Wheatley
Pfff. I guess.
Listens:
561
Who:
Core 2
How about a knife, then? You keep the gun, I'll use a knife.
Listens:
560
Who:
Core 2
Startles easily. Boo!
Listens:
560
Who:
GLaDOS
It's eating me.
Listens:
560
Who:
GLaDOS
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit.
Listens:
559
Who:
Core 3
A nanosecond lasts one billionth of a second.
Listens:
559
Who:
Core 3
If you want to just call it quits, we could just sit here. Forever. That's an option. Option A: Sit here. Do nothing. Option B: Go through there, and if she's alive, she'll almost certainly kill us.
Listens:
558
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Allright. I have an idea. But it is bloody dangerous. Here we go...
Listens:
558
Who:
Wheatley
Always sleeping.
Listens:
556
Who:
GLaDOS
You didn't do anything.
Listens:
556
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry.
Listens:
555
Who:
GLaDOS
And you'll probably get ringworm. And Athlete's Foot. And... Cholera. Or something... Horrible. It's gonna be even worse than if I'd just blown you up.
Listens:
554
Who:
Wheatley
Please get it off me.
Listens:
552
Who:
GLaDOS
The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects.
Listens:
552
Who:
Wheatley
Well, let's do some tests and see what happens.
Listens:
551
Who:
GLaDOS
Gently cleaning the tongue twice a day is the most effective way to fight bad breath.
Listens:
550
Who:
Core 3
This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
Listens:
550
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. So my paradox idea didn't work.
Listens:
550
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes!
Listens:
550
Who:
Wheatley
Alarmist.
Listens:
548
Who:
GLaDOS
ow.
Listens:
548
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhh. Another door malfunction. I'm going to take care of this once and for all. Stay here, I'll be back in a while.
Listens:
548
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not press that button!
Listens:
548
Who:
Wheatley
[tired breathing] Nevermind. Nevermind. Solve it yourself. You're on your own.
Listens:
548
Who:
Wheatley
Dare it. Dare to dream. Shoot for the stars.
Listens:
548
Who:
Wheatley
This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I'd just finished building them before you had your, well, episode. So now we'll both get to see how they work.
Listens:
547
Who:
GLaDOS
Silently killing you. Probably. If I had to guess.
Listens:
547
Who:
Wheatley
AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.
Listens:
547
Who:
Wheatley
Are you trying to impress me? What would impress me more is if you never did that again.
Listens:
546
Who:
GLaDOS
What happened? What, what, what have you put onto me? What is that?
Listens:
545
Who:
Wheatley
Jammed 'em all together. Buttons. Got funnels. Bottomless pits are involved. It's got it all, it's absolute dynamite.
Listens:
545
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. [nervous laugh] Can't do it if you're leering at me. Creepy.
Listens:
544
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, have it your way. What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control there? Cuz it looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire...
Listens:
543
Who:
Core 2
Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
543
Who:
GLaDOS
Um.
Listens:
543
Who:
Defective Turret
Wait here. Don't go anywhere. I'll be back.
Listens:
542
Who:
GLaDOS
Still running. Alright. Looks tiring. Tell you what - you stop running and I'll stop bombing you... That seems fair.
Listens:
542
Who:
Wheatley
Are you okay? Are you - Don't answer that. I'm absolutely sure you're fine. There's plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
542
Who:
Wheatley
Whew. There we go! Now I'll be honest, you are probably in no fit state to run this particular type of cognitive gauntlet. But... um... at least you're a good jumper. So... you've got that. You've got the jumping on your side. Just do your best, and I'll meet you up ahead.
Listens:
542
Who:
Wheatley
Don't listen to him. Jump.
Listens:
541
Who:
GLaDOS
Try to get us down there. I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
541
Who:
GLaDOS
Can you see the portal gun?
Listens:
541
Who:
Wheatley
Well, can't win 'em all...
Listens:
541
Who:
Defective Turret
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
541
Who:
Defective Turret
She did all the work.
Listens:
540
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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