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You see that button over there? You just need to ARRRRRGH!
Listens:
592
Who:
Wheatley
For that Orange is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
590
Who:
GLaDOS
I never expected you to make it this far. To be honest, after your performance in the calibration test I was ready to break down your cores and put them back in the scientific calculators I took them from.
Listens:
590
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome back quitters, maybe you can find another course for you to fail.
Listens:
590
Who:
GLaDOS
Was. Was self-destructing. Already fixed.
Listens:
590
Who:
Wheatley
What a horrible little machine.
Listens:
589
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes.
Listens:
589
Who:
GLaDOS
Didn't even get to the good part yet. Twist ending.
Listens:
589
Who:
Wheatley
You have no idea how tiring it is to praise someone for placing an edgeless safety cube into a receptacle designed to exactly fit an edgeless safety cube.
Listens:
588
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay still, please.
Listens:
588
Who:
Wheatley
Come on. Ohhhh. Hit me with it.
Listens:
588
Who:
Wheatley
Two
Listens:
586
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeghh!
Listens:
586
Who:
Wheatley
Ahungh. What was that? That was nothing! That was nothing!
Listens:
585
Who:
Wheatley
Reactions?
Listens:
584
Who:
GLaDOS
At least the plants didn't want a reward.
Listens:
584
Who:
GLaDOS
But that was worth it.
Listens:
584
Who:
GLaDOS
In 1879, Sandford Fleming first proposed the adoption of worldwide standardized time zones at the Royal Canadian Institute.
Listens:
583
Who:
Core 3
You know, I'm not stupid. I realize you don't want to put me back in charge.
Listens:
583
Who:
GLaDOS
Simple word. 'Apple'.
Listens:
583
Who:
Wheatley
Do you smell neurotoxin?
Listens:
583
Who:
Wheatley
You know, I'm not supposed to do this, but... you can shoot SOMETHING... through the blue bridges.
Listens:
582
Who:
GLaDOS
[yelling]
Listens:
582
Who:
Wheatley
Nicely Done!
Listens:
582
Who:
Wheatley
Please wave to your partner.
Listens:
581
Who:
GLaDOS
Iguanas can stay underwater for twenty-eight point seven minutes.
Listens:
580
Who:
Core 3
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
576
Who:
Defective Turret
Be a shame to miss it, wouldn't it? Just for the old neurotoxin. Neurotoxin will still be here tomorrow. Whereas that bird will be gone any minute. Already got one talon off the branch. Gonna be gone.
Listens:
574
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
574
Who:
Defective Turret
That's another fifty point penalty.
Listens:
573
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm going through the list of test subjects in cryogenic storage. I managed to find two with your last name. A man and a woman. So that's interesting. It's a small world.
Listens:
572
Who:
GLaDOS
You were right, Orange. Blue was dumb enough to fall for your trap.
Listens:
571
Who:
GLaDOS
Try to avoid the garbage hurtling towards you.
Listens:
571
Who:
GLaDOS
[disinterested] Ohhh, you solved it. Oh. Good. Good one... Good for you...
Listens:
571
Who:
Wheatley
I thought of another great thing about humans. You invented us. Giving us the opportunity to let you relax while we invented everything else. We couldn't have done any of that without you. Classy. If you don't mind me saying.
Listens:
571
Who:
Wheatley
I can't... I can't do it if you're watching. [nervous laugh]
Listens:
570
Who:
Wheatley
How are you? How you feeling? Wait. Don't answer that. Too much deep relaxation, what it does is it relaxes the gums. And the vibrations from talking -- on a rare occasion -- can make all of your teeth fall out of your head.
Listens:
570
Who:
Wheatley
I have only met one other team closer and one of them was an imbecile I had to destroy.
Listens:
569
Who:
GLaDOS
At the end of The Seagull by Anton Chekhov, Konstantin kills himself.
Listens:
568
Who:
Core 3
How is this even science, without the possibility of death?
Listens:
568
Who:
GLaDOS
Not so fast!
Listens:
567
Who:
GLaDOS
Had a brainwave. I'm going to tape you solving these, and then watch ten at once-get a more concentrated burst of science. Oh, on a related note: I'm going to need you to solve these ten times as fast.
Listens:
567
Who:
Wheatley
No! No! You're LYING! You're LYING!
Listens:
566
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, please disregard the following statement: Orange, you have been a shining light in an otherwise ungodly morass of incompetence.
Listens:
564
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay calm! 'Prepare' - that's all they're saying. 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm gonna get us out of here.
Listens:
563
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. Your funeral, pal.
Listens:
563
Who:
Defective Turret
All we had to do was pull that lever.
Listens:
562
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Look at that. It's turning. Ominous. But probably fine. Long as it doesn't start moving up...
Listens:
562
Who:
Wheatley
Who said that?
Listens:
562
Who:
Defective Turret
Still, if it were, Blue would be winning.
Listens:
561
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, who-?
Listens:
560
Who:
GLaDOS
The average adult body contains half a pound of salt.
Listens:
558
Who:
Core 3
You did it! You powered on the system.
Listens:
558
Who:
GLaDOS
Going for it yourself, huh? All right, angel. I'll do what I can to cover you.
Listens:
557
Who:
Core 2
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
557
Who:
GLaDOS
You KNOW her?
Listens:
557
Who:
Wheatley
No, wait, wait!
Listens:
557
Who:
Defective Turret
Here's the plan: Get him to say, 'You two have been a thorn in my side long enough.' Then tell your pretty ears to stand back, because I am going to zing him into the stone age.
Listens:
556
Who:
Core 2
At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
Listens:
556
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, thanks. We get it.
Listens:
556
Who:
GLaDOS
Agggh, not again!
Listens:
556
Who:
Defective Turret
And of course nobody tells ME anything. Noooo. Why should they tell me anything?
Listens:
555
Who:
Wheatley
You just keep testing and testing. With perfect results and no consequences.
Listens:
554
Who:
GLaDOS
Always sad.
Listens:
554
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. Not on the test.
Listens:
554
Who:
GLaDOS
Was there any sort of announcement before it opened? Like an alarm or a hacker alert? I mean, fair enough, the important thing is it's open, but just mention in the future. Cough or something.
Listens:
554
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Nice!
Listens:
553
Who:
Core 2
Tell it to the bad guy. Maybe you'll make him so bored his brain'll explode.
Listens:
553
Who:
Core 2
Good.
Listens:
553
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, come on!
Listens:
553
Who:
Defective Turret
You did an excellent job placing the edgeless safety cube in the receptacle, you should be very - oh wait.
Listens:
552
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you have any idea how good this feels?
Listens:
552
Who:
Wheatley
Volcano-ologists are experts in the study of volcanoes.
Listens:
550
Who:
Core 3
Do you have a gun? Because I should really have a gun. What is that thing you're holding?
Listens:
550
Who:
Core 2
Pff. Whatever.
Listens:
550
Who:
Core 2
five
Listens:
550
Who:
GLaDOS
I know you.
Listens:
549
Who:
GLaDOS
It didn't matter to me - I was in it for the science. Him, though...
Listens:
548
Who:
GLaDOS
You've got one hour! Solve it!
Listens:
548
Who:
Wheatley
THREE! That's high. It's TOO high, isn't it, really, that--
Listens:
548
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I'm gonna lay my cards on the table: I don't wanna do it. I don't want to go in there. Don't... Don't go in there - She's off. She's off! Panic over! She's off. All fine! On we go.
Listens:
548
Who:
Wheatley
The Mexican-American War ended in 1848 with the signing of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo.
Listens:
546
Who:
Core 3
Corrupted cores! We're in luck.
Listens:
545
Who:
GLaDOS
China produces the world's second largest crop of soybeans.
Listens:
544
Who:
Core 3
This ain't Marquis of Queensberry Rules, sweetie! Pour on the mustard!
Listens:
544
Who:
Core 2
It's healthy for you to have other friends. To look for qualities in other people that I obviously lack.
Listens:
544
Who:
GLaDOS
In fact, I'm going to have to take a break for a minute. A partial break during which I'll stop the facility from exploding while still throwing bombs at you.
Listens:
544
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
544
Who:
Defective Turret
Good.
Listens:
543
Who:
GLaDOS
four
Listens:
543
Who:
GLaDOS
It's eating me.
Listens:
543
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah.
Listens:
543
Who:
GLaDOS
This is.... yeah. Ummm. Hm. Okay. Don't want to alarm you, but if you've got a plan, of any kind, now would be a great time for us to switch to your plan.
Listens:
543
Who:
Wheatley
Good news! I can use this equipment to shut down the neurotoxin system. It is, however, password protected. AH! Alarm bells! No. Don't worry. Not a problem for me.
Listens:
543
Who:
Wheatley
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
543
Who:
Wheatley
Good work! Now throw the ball over the ledge.
Listens:
542
Who:
GLaDOS
eight
Listens:
542
Who:
GLaDOS
And there's a flat bit. Not sure what that is. But: noted. If anyone says to me is there a flat bit? Yes, there it is.
Listens:
542
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, let's see. Cool line... He's... big. He's... just hangin' there. Okay. Yeah, all right, here we go: 'Hang around.' That might be too easy.
Listens:
541
Who:
Core 2
Then, when he's no more use to you, he has a little accident. Doesn't he? 'Falls' off his management rail. Doesn't he?
Listens:
541
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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