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Portal 2
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TF2 Music
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Yeghh!
Listens:
642
Who:
Wheatley
[disinterested] Ohhh, you solved it. Oh. Good. Good one... Good for you...
Listens:
642
Who:
Wheatley
Honey does not spoil.
Listens:
640
Who:
Core 3
For that Orange is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
639
Who:
GLaDOS
See nothing bad happened.
Listens:
638
Who:
GLaDOS
Pshh. Really? And do what, exactly?
Listens:
638
Who:
Wheatley
I forbid you to press it!
Listens:
638
Who:
Wheatley
You KNOW her?
Listens:
638
Who:
Wheatley
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
638
Who:
Wheatley
Fine, 500 point penalty for Orange.
Listens:
637
Who:
GLaDOS
At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
Listens:
637
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, I almost forgot, when you go outside the testing courses the only way I can retrieve you is to violently disassemble and then carefully reassemble you.
Listens:
636
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay still, please.
Listens:
636
Who:
Wheatley
Iguanas can stay underwater for twenty-eight point seven minutes.
Listens:
635
Who:
Core 3
Yes.
Listens:
635
Who:
GLaDOS
But that was worth it.
Listens:
635
Who:
GLaDOS
Didn't even get to the good part yet. Twist ending.
Listens:
635
Who:
Wheatley
You see that button over there? You just need to ARRRRRGH!
Listens:
635
Who:
Wheatley
You only failed
Listens:
634
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! How's it going! I talked my way onto the nanobot work crew rebuilding this shaft. They are REALLY small, so -ah - I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
634
Who:
Wheatley
Polymerase I polypeptide A is a human gene.
Listens:
633
Who:
Core 3
Just stop it already.
Listens:
633
Who:
GLaDOS
Simple word. 'Apple'.
Listens:
633
Who:
Wheatley
Every square inch of the human body has 32 million bacteria on it.
Listens:
632
Who:
Core 3
Stay calm! 'Prepare' - that's all they're saying. 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm gonna get us out of here.
Listens:
632
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
632
Who:
Defective Turret
Done! Hacked!
Listens:
630
Who:
Wheatley
You just keep testing and testing. With perfect results and no consequences.
Listens:
629
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue! Orange has always been my favorite.
Listens:
629
Who:
GLaDOS
So go ahead and jump. What's the worst that could happen? Oh. Oh wait, I just now thought of the worst thing. Oh! I just thought of something even worse. Alright. New, better plan: no imagining of any potential outcomes whatsoever. Just jump, into the abyss, there, and let's see what happens.
Listens:
629
Who:
Wheatley
This is the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center or SinTech.
Listens:
628
Who:
GLaDOS
No! No! You're LYING! You're LYING!
Listens:
627
Who:
Wheatley
Nicely Done!
Listens:
627
Who:
Wheatley
Once testing starts, I'm required by protocol to keep interaction with you to a minimum. Luckily, we haven't started testing yet. This will be our only chance to talk.
Listens:
623
Who:
GLaDOS
That's another fifty point penalty.
Listens:
622
Who:
GLaDOS
Please wave to your partner.
Listens:
622
Who:
GLaDOS
What a horrible little machine.
Listens:
622
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, come on!
Listens:
621
Who:
Defective Turret
The Mexican-American War ended in 1848 with the signing of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo.
Listens:
620
Who:
Core 3
Still, if it were, Blue would be winning.
Listens:
619
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, I'm not stupid. I realize you don't want to put me back in charge.
Listens:
619
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no...
Listens:
619
Who:
GLaDOS
Luckily, you don't feel pain. At any rate, you don't have a way to communicate that you feel pain.
Listens:
618
Who:
GLaDOS
I have only met one other team closer and one of them was an imbecile I had to destroy.
Listens:
618
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, who-?
Listens:
618
Who:
GLaDOS
How are you? How you feeling? Wait. Don't answer that. Too much deep relaxation, what it does is it relaxes the gums. And the vibrations from talking -- on a rare occasion -- can make all of your teeth fall out of your head.
Listens:
616
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, look, okay, I'll be honest. You're the LAST test subject left. And if you DON'T help me, we're both going to die. Alright? I didn't want to say it, you dragged it out of me. Alright? Dead. Dos Muerte.
Listens:
615
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. Your funeral, pal.
Listens:
615
Who:
Defective Turret
Two
Listens:
614
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, please disregard the following statement: Orange, you have been a shining light in an otherwise ungodly morass of incompetence.
Listens:
614
Who:
GLaDOS
And that's why I can't help you solve these tests.
Listens:
614
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, I'm not supposed to do this, but... you can shoot SOMETHING... through the blue bridges.
Listens:
614
Who:
GLaDOS
Reactions?
Listens:
613
Who:
GLaDOS
You've got one hour! Solve it!
Listens:
613
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Nice!
Listens:
612
Who:
Core 2
THREE! That's high. It's TOO high, isn't it, really, that--
Listens:
611
Who:
Wheatley
The average adult body contains half a pound of salt.
Listens:
610
Who:
Core 3
Welcome back quitters, maybe you can find another course for you to fail.
Listens:
609
Who:
GLaDOS
All we had to do was pull that lever.
Listens:
609
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you smell neurotoxin?
Listens:
609
Who:
Wheatley
I thought of another great thing about humans. You invented us. Giving us the opportunity to let you relax while we invented everything else. We couldn't have done any of that without you. Classy. If you don't mind me saying.
Listens:
609
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I'm gonna lay my cards on the table: I don't wanna do it. I don't want to go in there. Don't... Don't go in there - She's off. She's off! Panic over! She's off. All fine! On we go.
Listens:
608
Who:
Wheatley
In fact, I'm going to have to take a break for a minute. A partial break during which I'll stop the facility from exploding while still throwing bombs at you.
Listens:
607
Who:
Wheatley
Come on. Ohhhh. Hit me with it.
Listens:
607
Who:
Wheatley
Rgggh!
Listens:
607
Who:
Defective Turret
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
606
Who:
Defective Turret
Try to avoid the garbage hurtling towards you.
Listens:
604
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, fine. I'm not saying another word until you do it properly. I'm sick of this.
Listens:
604
Who:
Wheatley
You ever notice how nobody stops what they're doing to listen? We don't care.
Listens:
603
Who:
Core 2
Do you have any idea how good this feels?
Listens:
603
Who:
Wheatley
Was there any sort of announcement before it opened? Like an alarm or a hacker alert? I mean, fair enough, the important thing is it's open, but just mention in the future. Cough or something.
Listens:
602
Who:
Wheatley
Not so fast!
Listens:
601
Who:
GLaDOS
I wonder if the humans will make a statue of me for rescuing them? Oh, don't worry, if they ever write a historical document of my heroic rescue, I will make sure your names are included in the footnotes.
Listens:
601
Who:
GLaDOS
This ain't Marquis of Queensberry Rules, sweetie! Pour on the mustard!
Listens:
599
Who:
Core 2
[whispered] ...I think she's lying...
Listens:
599
Who:
Wheatley
And of course nobody tells ME anything. Noooo. Why should they tell me anything?
Listens:
599
Who:
Wheatley
Going for it yourself, huh? All right, angel. I'll do what I can to cover you.
Listens:
598
Who:
Core 2
Yes, thanks. We get it.
Listens:
598
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you know who dances around like an imbecile when they accomplish the tiniest little thing?
Listens:
597
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm going through the list of test subjects in cryogenic storage. I managed to find two with your last name. A man and a woman. So that's interesting. It's a small world.
Listens:
597
Who:
GLaDOS
This is.... yeah. Ummm. Hm. Okay. Don't want to alarm you, but if you've got a plan, of any kind, now would be a great time for us to switch to your plan.
Listens:
597
Who:
Wheatley
This time...
Listens:
597
Who:
Defective Turret
You don't have to test with the garbage. It's garbage.
Listens:
596
Who:
GLaDOS
Even if I am lying, what do you have to lose? You're going to die either way.
Listens:
595
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
595
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
595
Who:
Defective Turret
China produces the world's second largest crop of soybeans.
Listens:
594
Who:
Core 3
eight
Listens:
594
Who:
GLaDOS
Corrupted cores! We're in luck.
Listens:
594
Who:
GLaDOS
Dang.
Listens:
594
Who:
Defective Turret
Do you have a gun? Because I should really have a gun. What is that thing you're holding?
Listens:
593
Who:
Core 2
Pff. Whatever.
Listens:
593
Who:
Core 2
Tell it to the bad guy. Maybe you'll make him so bored his brain'll explode.
Listens:
593
Who:
Core 2
At the end of The Seagull by Anton Chekhov, Konstantin kills himself.
Listens:
592
Who:
Core 3
Look, you're... doing a great job. Can you handle things for yourself for a while? I need to think.
Listens:
592
Who:
GLaDOS
You did it! You powered on the system.
Listens:
591
Who:
GLaDOS
I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
590
Who:
Wheatley
BLUE, please observe your partner's... interesting choice.
Listens:
589
Who:
GLaDOS
It's healthy for you to have other friends. To look for qualities in other people that I obviously lack.
Listens:
589
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
589
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
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