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Okay... that's probably correct. But where it is incorrect is while I've been stalling you WE JUST PRESSED THE BUTTON! USE THE MOMENT OF CONFUSION I'VE JUST CREATED TO PRESS THE BUTTON!
Listens:
582
Who:
Wheatley
For that Orange is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
581
Who:
GLaDOS
Reactions?
Listens:
581
Who:
GLaDOS
What a horrible little machine.
Listens:
581
Who:
GLaDOS
Did something break back there?
Listens:
581
Who:
Wheatley
Was. Was self-destructing. Already fixed.
Listens:
581
Who:
Wheatley
Ahungh. What was that? That was nothing! That was nothing!
Listens:
581
Who:
Wheatley
science collaboration points.
Listens:
580
Who:
GLaDOS
Please wave to your partner.
Listens:
577
Who:
GLaDOS
Two
Listens:
577
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm guessing this wasn't one of the scientist's children. I don't want to be snobby, but let's be honest: It's got manual laborer written all over it. I'm not saying they're not as good as the professionals. They're just a lot dumber.
Listens:
577
Who:
Wheatley
Stay still, please.
Listens:
575
Who:
Wheatley
Come on. Ohhhh. Hit me with it.
Listens:
575
Who:
Wheatley
Simple word. 'Apple'.
Listens:
575
Who:
Wheatley
You have no idea how tiring it is to praise someone for placing an edgeless safety cube into a receptacle designed to exactly fit an edgeless safety cube.
Listens:
574
Who:
GLaDOS
Iguanas can stay underwater for twenty-eight point seven minutes.
Listens:
573
Who:
Core 3
You know, I'm not stupid. I realize you don't want to put me back in charge.
Listens:
572
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
572
Who:
Defective Turret
Do you smell neurotoxin?
Listens:
571
Who:
Wheatley
I never expected you to make it this far. To be honest, after your performance in the calibration test I was ready to break down your cores and put them back in the scientific calculators I took them from.
Listens:
570
Who:
GLaDOS
But that was worth it.
Listens:
570
Who:
GLaDOS
In 1879, Sandford Fleming first proposed the adoption of worldwide standardized time zones at the Royal Canadian Institute.
Listens:
569
Who:
Core 3
Yeghh!
Listens:
569
Who:
Wheatley
How are you? How you feeling? Wait. Don't answer that. Too much deep relaxation, what it does is it relaxes the gums. And the vibrations from talking -- on a rare occasion -- can make all of your teeth fall out of your head.
Listens:
568
Who:
Wheatley
I'm going through the list of test subjects in cryogenic storage. I managed to find two with your last name. A man and a woman. So that's interesting. It's a small world.
Listens:
567
Who:
GLaDOS
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
567
Who:
Defective Turret
You know, I'm not supposed to do this, but... you can shoot SOMETHING... through the blue bridges.
Listens:
565
Who:
GLaDOS
Nicely Done!
Listens:
564
Who:
Wheatley
[yelling]
Listens:
563
Who:
Wheatley
I thought of another great thing about humans. You invented us. Giving us the opportunity to let you relax while we invented everything else. We couldn't have done any of that without you. Classy. If you don't mind me saying.
Listens:
562
Who:
Wheatley
Try to avoid the garbage hurtling towards you.
Listens:
561
Who:
GLaDOS
Be a shame to miss it, wouldn't it? Just for the old neurotoxin. Neurotoxin will still be here tomorrow. Whereas that bird will be gone any minute. Already got one talon off the branch. Gonna be gone.
Listens:
560
Who:
Wheatley
That's another fifty point penalty.
Listens:
559
Who:
GLaDOS
I have only met one other team closer and one of them was an imbecile I had to destroy.
Listens:
559
Who:
GLaDOS
At least the plants didn't want a reward.
Listens:
559
Who:
GLaDOS
Not so fast!
Listens:
558
Who:
GLaDOS
[disinterested] Ohhh, you solved it. Oh. Good. Good one... Good for you...
Listens:
558
Who:
Wheatley
How is this even science, without the possibility of death?
Listens:
556
Who:
GLaDOS
Who said that?
Listens:
555
Who:
Defective Turret
All we had to do was pull that lever.
Listens:
554
Who:
GLaDOS
Had a brainwave. I'm going to tape you solving these, and then watch ten at once-get a more concentrated burst of science. Oh, on a related note: I'm going to need you to solve these ten times as fast.
Listens:
554
Who:
Wheatley
At the end of The Seagull by Anton Chekhov, Konstantin kills himself.
Listens:
552
Who:
Core 3
You did it! You powered on the system.
Listens:
552
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't... I can't do it if you're watching. [nervous laugh]
Listens:
552
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Look at that. It's turning. Ominous. But probably fine. Long as it doesn't start moving up...
Listens:
552
Who:
Wheatley
No, wait, wait!
Listens:
552
Who:
Defective Turret
Alright. Your funeral, pal.
Listens:
552
Who:
Defective Turret
Stay calm! 'Prepare' - that's all they're saying. 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm gonna get us out of here.
Listens:
551
Who:
Wheatley
You were right, Orange. Blue was dumb enough to fall for your trap.
Listens:
550
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, who-?
Listens:
548
Who:
GLaDOS
Going for it yourself, huh? All right, angel. I'll do what I can to cover you.
Listens:
547
Who:
Core 2
Blue, please disregard the following statement: Orange, you have been a shining light in an otherwise ungodly morass of incompetence.
Listens:
547
Who:
GLaDOS
Agggh, not again!
Listens:
547
Who:
Defective Turret
You did an excellent job placing the edgeless safety cube in the receptacle, you should be very - oh wait.
Listens:
546
Who:
GLaDOS
You just keep testing and testing. With perfect results and no consequences.
Listens:
546
Who:
GLaDOS
Still, if it were, Blue would be winning.
Listens:
545
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, thanks. We get it.
Listens:
545
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. Not on the test.
Listens:
545
Who:
GLaDOS
Here's the plan: Get him to say, 'You two have been a thorn in my side long enough.' Then tell your pretty ears to stand back, because I am going to zing him into the stone age.
Listens:
544
Who:
Core 2
No! No! You're LYING! You're LYING!
Listens:
544
Who:
Wheatley
And of course nobody tells ME anything. Noooo. Why should they tell me anything?
Listens:
544
Who:
Wheatley
The average adult body contains half a pound of salt.
Listens:
543
Who:
Core 3
five
Listens:
543
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you have any idea how good this feels?
Listens:
543
Who:
Wheatley
Volcano-ologists are experts in the study of volcanoes.
Listens:
542
Who:
Core 3
Good.
Listens:
542
Who:
GLaDOS
Tell it to the bad guy. Maybe you'll make him so bored his brain'll explode.
Listens:
541
Who:
Core 2
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
541
Who:
GLaDOS
I know you.
Listens:
541
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, come on!
Listens:
541
Who:
Defective Turret
Always sad.
Listens:
540
Who:
GLaDOS
And there's a flat bit. Not sure what that is. But: noted. If anyone says to me is there a flat bit? Yes, there it is.
Listens:
540
Who:
Wheatley
Good.
Listens:
539
Who:
GLaDOS
It's eating me.
Listens:
538
Who:
GLaDOS
Corrupted cores! We're in luck.
Listens:
538
Who:
GLaDOS
It didn't matter to me - I was in it for the science. Him, though...
Listens:
538
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I'm gonna lay my cards on the table: I don't wanna do it. I don't want to go in there. Don't... Don't go in there - She's off. She's off! Panic over! She's off. All fine! On we go.
Listens:
538
Who:
Wheatley
Was there any sort of announcement before it opened? Like an alarm or a hacker alert? I mean, fair enough, the important thing is it's open, but just mention in the future. Cough or something.
Listens:
537
Who:
Wheatley
At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
Listens:
536
Who:
GLaDOS
You KNOW her?
Listens:
536
Who:
Wheatley
Pff. Whatever.
Listens:
535
Who:
Core 2
four
Listens:
535
Who:
GLaDOS
It's healthy for you to have other friends. To look for qualities in other people that I obviously lack.
Listens:
535
Who:
GLaDOS
THREE! That's high. It's TOO high, isn't it, really, that--
Listens:
535
Who:
Wheatley
Good news! I can use this equipment to shut down the neurotoxin system. It is, however, password protected. AH! Alarm bells! No. Don't worry. Not a problem for me.
Listens:
535
Who:
Wheatley
You've got one hour! Solve it!
Listens:
534
Who:
Wheatley
Good work! Now throw the ball over the ledge.
Listens:
533
Who:
GLaDOS
eight
Listens:
533
Who:
GLaDOS
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit.
Listens:
532
Who:
Core 3
A nanosecond lasts one billionth of a second.
Listens:
532
Who:
Core 3
The Mexican-American War ended in 1848 with the signing of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo.
Listens:
532
Who:
Core 3
NO!
Listens:
532
Who:
GLaDOS
Then, when he's no more use to you, he has a little accident. Doesn't he? 'Falls' off his management rail. Doesn't he?
Listens:
532
Who:
Wheatley
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
531
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
531
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, let's see. Cool line... He's... big. He's... just hangin' there. Okay. Yeah, all right, here we go: 'Hang around.' That might be too easy.
Listens:
530
Who:
Core 2
This ain't Marquis of Queensberry Rules, sweetie! Pour on the mustard!
Listens:
530
Who:
Core 2
Even if I am lying, what do you have to lose? You're going to die either way.
Listens:
530
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, look, okay, I'll be honest. You're the LAST test subject left. And if you DON'T help me, we're both going to die. Alright? I didn't want to say it, you dragged it out of me. Alright? Dead. Dos Muerte.
Listens:
530
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I gave it everything I could. Can't ask for more than that.
Listens:
530
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
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