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Portal 2
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Random
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Yes.
Listens:
573
Who:
GLaDOS
Didn't even get to the good part yet. Twist ending.
Listens:
573
Who:
Wheatley
Done! Hacked!
Listens:
573
Who:
Wheatley
Welcome back quitters, maybe you can find another course for you to fail.
Listens:
572
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember when I first told you how to find that little portal thing you love so much? Thought you'd die on the way, if I'm honest. All the others did.
Listens:
572
Who:
Wheatley
Please wave to your partner.
Listens:
571
Who:
GLaDOS
Two
Listens:
571
Who:
GLaDOS
Woah! Where are we? How long have I been out?
Listens:
571
Who:
GLaDOS
For that Orange is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
569
Who:
GLaDOS
Come on. Ohhhh. Hit me with it.
Listens:
569
Who:
Wheatley
Simple word. 'Apple'.
Listens:
569
Who:
Wheatley
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
566
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm guessing this wasn't one of the scientist's children. I don't want to be snobby, but let's be honest: It's got manual laborer written all over it. I'm not saying they're not as good as the professionals. They're just a lot dumber.
Listens:
565
Who:
Wheatley
Iguanas can stay underwater for twenty-eight point seven minutes.
Listens:
564
Who:
Core 3
You know, I'm not stupid. I realize you don't want to put me back in charge.
Listens:
564
Who:
GLaDOS
How are you? How you feeling? Wait. Don't answer that. Too much deep relaxation, what it does is it relaxes the gums. And the vibrations from talking -- on a rare occasion -- can make all of your teeth fall out of your head.
Listens:
564
Who:
Wheatley
Stay still, please.
Listens:
563
Who:
Wheatley
In 1879, Sandford Fleming first proposed the adoption of worldwide standardized time zones at the Royal Canadian Institute.
Listens:
562
Who:
Core 3
You have no idea how tiring it is to praise someone for placing an edgeless safety cube into a receptacle designed to exactly fit an edgeless safety cube.
Listens:
562
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you smell neurotoxin?
Listens:
562
Who:
Wheatley
science collaboration points.
Listens:
559
Who:
GLaDOS
I never expected you to make it this far. To be honest, after your performance in the calibration test I was ready to break down your cores and put them back in the scientific calculators I took them from.
Listens:
558
Who:
GLaDOS
But that was worth it.
Listens:
558
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeghh!
Listens:
557
Who:
Wheatley
You know, I'm not supposed to do this, but... you can shoot SOMETHING... through the blue bridges.
Listens:
556
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm going through the list of test subjects in cryogenic storage. I managed to find two with your last name. A man and a woman. So that's interesting. It's a small world.
Listens:
556
Who:
GLaDOS
Nicely Done!
Listens:
556
Who:
Wheatley
I thought of another great thing about humans. You invented us. Giving us the opportunity to let you relax while we invented everything else. We couldn't have done any of that without you. Classy. If you don't mind me saying.
Listens:
556
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
556
Who:
Defective Turret
[disinterested] Ohhh, you solved it. Oh. Good. Good one... Good for you...
Listens:
554
Who:
Wheatley
Be a shame to miss it, wouldn't it? Just for the old neurotoxin. Neurotoxin will still be here tomorrow. Whereas that bird will be gone any minute. Already got one talon off the branch. Gonna be gone.
Listens:
554
Who:
Wheatley
No, wait, wait!
Listens:
551
Who:
Defective Turret
Try to avoid the garbage hurtling towards you.
Listens:
550
Who:
GLaDOS
[yelling]
Listens:
550
Who:
Wheatley
I have only met one other team closer and one of them was an imbecile I had to destroy.
Listens:
549
Who:
GLaDOS
At least the plants didn't want a reward.
Listens:
549
Who:
GLaDOS
That's another fifty point penalty.
Listens:
547
Who:
GLaDOS
Not so fast!
Listens:
547
Who:
GLaDOS
Who said that?
Listens:
546
Who:
Defective Turret
At the end of The Seagull by Anton Chekhov, Konstantin kills himself.
Listens:
545
Who:
Core 3
Alright. Your funeral, pal.
Listens:
544
Who:
Defective Turret
five
Listens:
542
Who:
GLaDOS
You did it! You powered on the system.
Listens:
542
Who:
GLaDOS
All we had to do was pull that lever.
Listens:
542
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you have any idea how good this feels?
Listens:
541
Who:
Wheatley
Stay calm! 'Prepare' - that's all they're saying. 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm gonna get us out of here.
Listens:
541
Who:
Wheatley
Agggh, not again!
Listens:
541
Who:
Defective Turret
Going for it yourself, huh? All right, angel. I'll do what I can to cover you.
Listens:
540
Who:
Core 2
You did an excellent job placing the edgeless safety cube in the receptacle, you should be very - oh wait.
Listens:
540
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't... I can't do it if you're watching. [nervous laugh]
Listens:
540
Who:
Wheatley
How is this even science, without the possibility of death?
Listens:
539
Who:
GLaDOS
Had a brainwave. I'm going to tape you solving these, and then watch ten at once-get a more concentrated burst of science. Oh, on a related note: I'm going to need you to solve these ten times as fast.
Listens:
539
Who:
Wheatley
The average adult body contains half a pound of salt.
Listens:
538
Who:
Core 3
You just keep testing and testing. With perfect results and no consequences.
Listens:
538
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. Not on the test.
Listens:
538
Who:
GLaDOS
Still, if it were, Blue would be winning.
Listens:
537
Who:
GLaDOS
Here's the plan: Get him to say, 'You two have been a thorn in my side long enough.' Then tell your pretty ears to stand back, because I am going to zing him into the stone age.
Listens:
536
Who:
Core 2
Good.
Listens:
536
Who:
GLaDOS
You were right, Orange. Blue was dumb enough to fall for your trap.
Listens:
536
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Look at that. It's turning. Ominous. But probably fine. Long as it doesn't start moving up...
Listens:
536
Who:
Wheatley
It's eating me.
Listens:
535
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, please disregard the following statement: Orange, you have been a shining light in an otherwise ungodly morass of incompetence.
Listens:
533
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, thanks. We get it.
Listens:
533
Who:
GLaDOS
And of course nobody tells ME anything. Noooo. Why should they tell me anything?
Listens:
533
Who:
Wheatley
Volcano-ologists are experts in the study of volcanoes.
Listens:
532
Who:
Core 3
Good.
Listens:
532
Who:
GLaDOS
No! No! You're LYING! You're LYING!
Listens:
531
Who:
Wheatley
Good work! Now throw the ball over the ledge.
Listens:
530
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, who-?
Listens:
530
Who:
GLaDOS
It didn't matter to me - I was in it for the science. Him, though...
Listens:
530
Who:
GLaDOS
THREE! That's high. It's TOO high, isn't it, really, that--
Listens:
530
Who:
Wheatley
And there's a flat bit. Not sure what that is. But: noted. If anyone says to me is there a flat bit? Yes, there it is.
Listens:
530
Who:
Wheatley
Tell it to the bad guy. Maybe you'll make him so bored his brain'll explode.
Listens:
529
Who:
Core 2
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit.
Listens:
528
Who:
Core 3
Oh, come on!
Listens:
528
Who:
Defective Turret
A nanosecond lasts one billionth of a second.
Listens:
526
Who:
Core 3
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
526
Who:
GLaDOS
NO!
Listens:
526
Who:
GLaDOS
four
Listens:
525
Who:
GLaDOS
Always sad.
Listens:
525
Who:
GLaDOS
Then, when he's no more use to you, he has a little accident. Doesn't he? 'Falls' off his management rail. Doesn't he?
Listens:
525
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, look, okay, I'll be honest. You're the LAST test subject left. And if you DON'T help me, we're both going to die. Alright? I didn't want to say it, you dragged it out of me. Alright? Dead. Dos Muerte.
Listens:
525
Who:
Wheatley
This ain't Marquis of Queensberry Rules, sweetie! Pour on the mustard!
Listens:
524
Who:
Core 2
Okay, let's see. Cool line... He's... big. He's... just hangin' there. Okay. Yeah, all right, here we go: 'Hang around.' That might be too easy.
Listens:
523
Who:
Core 2
Corrupted cores! We're in luck.
Listens:
523
Who:
GLaDOS
eight
Listens:
522
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I'm gonna lay my cards on the table: I don't wanna do it. I don't want to go in there. Don't... Don't go in there - She's off. She's off! Panic over! She's off. All fine! On we go.
Listens:
522
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
522
Who:
Defective Turret
You just solved it, didn't you? I-told you to tell me before you... NNNNGH! Why are making this so HARD for me?
Listens:
521
Who:
Wheatley
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
521
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I gave it everything I could. Can't ask for more than that.
Listens:
521
Who:
Defective Turret
The Mexican-American War ended in 1848 with the signing of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo.
Listens:
520
Who:
Core 3
Pff. Whatever.
Listens:
520
Who:
Core 2
You ever notice how nobody stops what they're doing to listen? We don't care.
Listens:
519
Who:
Core 2
At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
Listens:
519
Who:
GLaDOS
Even if I am lying, what do you have to lose? You're going to die either way.
Listens:
519
Who:
GLaDOS
It's healthy for you to have other friends. To look for qualities in other people that I obviously lack.
Listens:
519
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh.
Listens:
519
Who:
Defective Turret
Please get it off me.
Listens:
518
Who:
GLaDOS
You've got one hour! Solve it!
Listens:
518
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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