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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Are you alive down there?
Listens:
397
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah.
Listens:
397
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, I did my best.
Listens:
397
Who:
Defective Turret
No knife? That's fine. I know all about pressure points.
Listens:
396
Who:
Core 2
How's that taste, pal?
Listens:
396
Who:
Core 2
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
396
Who:
Defective Turret
Seriously, I'm not joking. Could you just turn around for a second?
Listens:
395
Who:
Wheatley
Nothing. He's good. This one. He is good. I'm gonna need to break out the expert level hacking maneuvers now. You asked for it Mate.
Listens:
395
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, alright.
Listens:
395
Who:
Defective Turret
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
395
Who:
Defective Turret
Did I hit it? I hit it, didn't I?
Listens:
395
Who:
Defective Turret
The humans closed this test because they said it was too deadly. I thought they would have moved it into the testing track hall of fame for that, not let it deteriorate.
Listens:
394
Who:
GLaDOS
In order to ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled.
Listens:
394
Who:
GLaDOS
I heard gunfire! A bit late for this, but look out for gunfire! Probably doesn't help at this point, but I have at least tried.
Listens:
394
Who:
Wheatley
YEAH! What's happening?
Listens:
394
Who:
Defective Turret
GAH!
Listens:
393
Who:
Wheatley
Wish there was more books! But there's not.
Listens:
392
Who:
Wheatley
Tell ya what, why don't you put me down and I'll make a distraction.
Listens:
391
Who:
Core 2
Ha! Missed me that time. Ohhh, you were solving-nevermind, carry on. My fault.
Listens:
391
Who:
Wheatley
All right. I’m going to bring this farce to a close before someone sustains a serious Tic-Tac-Toe-Two-related injury.
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
This is just a thought experiment, just to see how much time you'll waste thinking about these worthless documents. The correct time is zero seconds.
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. I am sure if I had the time to repair these tests, you would have never completed them. So again, congratulations on completing the broken easy tests.
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh.
Listens:
388
Who:
GLaDOS
And they said no one would ever die during this test, thanks for proving them wrong.
Listens:
388
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you cutting that out.
Listens:
387
Who:
GLaDOS
Also, once I eject myself out of the core the lift might stop. Then we'd be trapped in a lift full of broken glass suspended fifty feet off the ground.
Listens:
387
Who:
Wheatley
You KNOW her?
Listens:
386
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh...
Listens:
386
Who:
Defective Turret
I can't decide which is my favorite; the crushers for crushing you or the reassembly machine for putting you back together so you can be crushed again.
Listens:
385
Who:
GLaDOS
If he's not getting his solution euphoria, we could be in a lot of trouble.
Listens:
384
Who:
GLaDOS
ORANGE, please observe your partner's favorite animal.
Listens:
383
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll give you a hint. Button. That's all I'm gonna say. One word. Button.
Listens:
383
Who:
Wheatley
After you told me to turn the beam off, I thought I'd lost you. Went poking around for other test subjects. No luck there. Everyone's still all dead.
Listens:
383
Who:
Wheatley
All right. You create a distraction then, and I'll distract him from YOUR distraction.
Listens:
382
Who:
Core 2
Welcome back to the hub, did you fail at selecting the correct course?
Listens:
381
Who:
GLaDOS
And that's why I can't help you solve these tests.
Listens:
381
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?
Listens:
381
Who:
Defective Turret
You can't die in any of those ways.
Listens:
380
Who:
GLaDOS
Try one of those childish gestures.
Listens:
380
Who:
GLaDOS
You did it!
Listens:
380
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's look at their files...
Listens:
380
Who:
GLaDOS
To get to the Vault, you are going to need to use all the tricks you have learned. To help, I have made these tests extremely difficult.
Listens:
379
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm going to be honest with you now. Not fake honest like before, but real honest, like you're incapable of. I know you're up to something.
Listens:
379
Who:
GLaDOS
Lactose intolerant.
Listens:
378
Who:
GLaDOS
I know we're in a lot of trouble and probably about to die.
Listens:
378
Who:
GLaDOS
Well played.
Listens:
378
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue, you are the most advanced model of robot Aperture Science has ever discontinued.
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
This is AMAZING! We can walk wherever we want! Look, just... go left! No, go right, go right! Don't even care, don't even care, just go where ever you want, couldn't care less.
Listens:
377
Who:
Wheatley
It's been a pleasure!
Listens:
377
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah! How'd you like that?
Listens:
376
Who:
Core 2
Oh! Thanks.
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
All right, you know what, it's gonna be best if you can get him to say something first. It's just better if I have a set-up.
Listens:
375
Who:
Core 2
You should both be familiar with the game of Tic-Tac-Toe.
Listens:
374
Who:
GLaDOS
But now, looking around, seeing Aperture restored to its former glory? You don't have to worry about leaving EVER again. I mean that.
Listens:
374
Who:
GLaDOS
All those pieces of the ceiling that keep falling out? Probably actually pieces of the ceiling, I'll bet. That looked real. But it doesn't signify anything, is my point.
Listens:
374
Who:
Wheatley
Orange now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
And trust me, humans only have one good trait.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
Look!
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
And again, not playing along. You're ruining what are some really good speeches, actually.
Listens:
373
Who:
Wheatley
I spy with my little eye, something that starts with 'f'.
Listens:
373
Who:
Wheatley
Hopeless. Just hopeless.
Listens:
372
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, stop moving.
Listens:
372
Who:
Wheatley
Do not do it!
Listens:
372
Who:
Wheatley
Plug me into that stick on the wall over there. I'll show you something.
Listens:
371
Who:
Wheatley
Solve his puzzle for him. When he comes back, I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
370
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, I'd tell you if I were dead. Courtesy. Mark of a civil society. So, just let me know.
Listens:
370
Who:
Wheatley
Uh oh.
Listens:
370
Who:
Wheatley
A somersault is just falling over in style. Congratulations on being clumsy.
Listens:
369
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay!
Listens:
369
Who:
Defective Turret
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other’s performance so far.
Listens:
368
Who:
GLaDOS
Then we'd come and find you. And rip your gross little stupid sphere body out of MY body, and put me back in.
Listens:
368
Who:
GLaDOS
Leave me in! Leave me in! Go press it!
Listens:
368
Who:
Wheatley
You know what? Go ahead and jump. You've got braces on your legs. No braces on your arms, though. Gonna have to rely on the old human strength to keep a grip on the device and, by extension, me. So do. Do make sure to maintain a grip.
Listens:
368
Who:
Wheatley
How is this even science, without the consequence of death?
Listens:
367
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, that's right. Little bullseye.
Listens:
367
Who:
Defective Turret
As the name implies, there are only two minor differences: One, the board; two, the rules.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
Do something only a human would do.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
And it almost killed me.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, my facility.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, what? How stupid does she think we are?
Listens:
366
Who:
Wheatley
Think about this.
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfectionist. What's wrong with that?
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
Violent temper. Oh, I'd like to see that.
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
Emotional problems.
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, I'll stop the elevator. Anything? Take your time...
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
Why should I be kept informed about the life functions of the ten thousand bloody test subjects I'm supposed to be in charge of?
Listens:
365
Who:
Wheatley
Go on. Get a goooood lonnnnng look.
Listens:
364
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't get over how small you are!
Listens:
364
Who:
Wheatley
Notice the moat area. Very deadly. Extremely dangerous. Eventually. Not at the moment. Still working on it, still working on it.
Listens:
364
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, you 'solved' it, but I'm wondering if there are a number of ways to solve them and you're picking all the worst ways.
Listens:
364
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I tried.
Listens:
364
Who:
Defective Turret
I’ll just save the safety information about the dangerous experiment you’re about to do for AFTER the experiment.
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
They'll probably throw you a party.
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
If the subject survived the test, we let them purchase the pictures for $5. If the subject died, we gave the photo to their next of kin free of charge.
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
Either way, I get the impression he's trying to kill us.
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on. Couldn't we just use that conversion gel?
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
If you have, in fact, not, you are encouraged to take a moment to reflect on your failure before proceeding into the next chamber.
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, you bested me this time.
Listens:
363
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, what?
Listens:
363
Who:
Defective Turret
Very good. You’ve really come together as a team. Thanks to the one of you who appears to be doing all of the work.
Listens:
362
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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