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Portal 2
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Yeah.
Listens:
408
Who:
Defective Turret
No knife? That's fine. I know all about pressure points.
Listens:
407
Who:
Core 2
The humans closed this test because they said it was too deadly. I thought they would have moved it into the testing track hall of fame for that, not let it deteriorate.
Listens:
407
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm afraid the door's locked. Just checked it. No way to hack it as far as I can tell. The mechanism must be on the -oh, now look at that. That's a big laser!
Listens:
406
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
406
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, I did my best.
Listens:
406
Who:
Defective Turret
In order to ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled.
Listens:
405
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. You have a dual portal device. There should be a way back to the testing area up ahead.
Listens:
405
Who:
GLaDOS
I heard gunfire! A bit late for this, but look out for gunfire! Probably doesn't help at this point, but I have at least tried.
Listens:
405
Who:
Wheatley
The...um... sorry.. I wouldn't say smelly. Just attending to the humans.
Listens:
405
Who:
Wheatley
Did I hit it? I hit it, didn't I?
Listens:
405
Who:
Defective Turret
All right. I’m going to bring this farce to a close before someone sustains a serious Tic-Tac-Toe-Two-related injury.
Listens:
404
Who:
GLaDOS
Look at this! No rail to tell us where to go! OH, this is brilliant. We can go where ever we want! Hold on, though, where are we going? Seriously. Hang on, let me just get my bearings. Hm. Just follow the rail, actually.
Listens:
404
Who:
Wheatley
How's that taste, pal?
Listens:
403
Who:
Core 2
If at first you don't succeed, quit and try another course.
Listens:
403
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, alright.
Listens:
403
Who:
Defective Turret
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
402
Who:
Defective Turret
If he's not getting his solution euphoria, we could be in a lot of trouble.
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
Nothing. He's good. This one. He is good. I'm gonna need to break out the expert level hacking maneuvers now. You asked for it Mate.
Listens:
401
Who:
Wheatley
You're doing great!
Listens:
400
Who:
Core 2
Ha! Missed me that time. Ohhh, you were solving-nevermind, carry on. My fault.
Listens:
400
Who:
Wheatley
YEAH! What's happening?
Listens:
400
Who:
Defective Turret
Wish there was more books! But there's not.
Listens:
399
Who:
Wheatley
This is just a thought experiment, just to see how much time you'll waste thinking about these worthless documents. The correct time is zero seconds.
Listens:
398
Who:
GLaDOS
Tell ya what, why don't you put me down and I'll make a distraction.
Listens:
397
Who:
Core 2
And they said no one would ever die during this test, thanks for proving them wrong.
Listens:
397
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. I am sure if I had the time to repair these tests, you would have never completed them. So again, congratulations on completing the broken easy tests.
Listens:
396
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh oh.
Listens:
394
Who:
Wheatley
Oh.
Listens:
393
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome back to the hub, did you fail at selecting the correct course?
Listens:
393
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?
Listens:
393
Who:
Defective Turret
Also, once I eject myself out of the core the lift might stop. Then we'd be trapped in a lift full of broken glass suspended fifty feet off the ground.
Listens:
392
Who:
Wheatley
As the name implies, there are only two minor differences: One, the board; two, the rules.
Listens:
391
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't decide which is my favorite; the crushers for crushing you or the reassembly machine for putting you back together so you can be crushed again.
Listens:
391
Who:
GLaDOS
I spy with my little eye, something that starts with 'f'.
Listens:
391
Who:
Wheatley
To get to the Vault, you are going to need to use all the tricks you have learned. To help, I have made these tests extremely difficult.
Listens:
390
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you cutting that out.
Listens:
390
Who:
GLaDOS
ORANGE, please observe your partner's favorite animal.
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
And trust me, humans only have one good trait.
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's look at their files...
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
After you told me to turn the beam off, I thought I'd lost you. Went poking around for other test subjects. No luck there. Everyone's still all dead.
Listens:
389
Who:
Wheatley
It's been a pleasure!
Listens:
389
Who:
Defective Turret
Heh heh heh...
Listens:
389
Who:
Defective Turret
You can't die in any of those ways.
Listens:
388
Who:
GLaDOS
I know we're in a lot of trouble and probably about to die.
Listens:
388
Who:
GLaDOS
Well played.
Listens:
388
Who:
Defective Turret
All right. You create a distraction then, and I'll distract him from YOUR distraction.
Listens:
387
Who:
Core 2
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other’s performance so far.
Listens:
387
Who:
GLaDOS
Try one of those childish gestures.
Listens:
387
Who:
GLaDOS
You did it!
Listens:
387
Who:
GLaDOS
Hopeless. Just hopeless.
Listens:
387
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm going to be honest with you now. Not fake honest like before, but real honest, like you're incapable of. I know you're up to something.
Listens:
387
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll give you a hint. Button. That's all I'm gonna say. One word. Button.
Listens:
387
Who:
Wheatley
You should both be familiar with the game of Tic-Tac-Toe.
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah! How'd you like that?
Listens:
385
Who:
Core 2
All those pieces of the ceiling that keep falling out? Probably actually pieces of the ceiling, I'll bet. That looked real. But it doesn't signify anything, is my point.
Listens:
385
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, you are the most advanced model of robot Aperture Science has ever discontinued.
Listens:
384
Who:
GLaDOS
But now, looking around, seeing Aperture restored to its former glory? You don't have to worry about leaving EVER again. I mean that.
Listens:
384
Who:
GLaDOS
This is AMAZING! We can walk wherever we want! Look, just... go left! No, go right, go right! Don't even care, don't even care, just go where ever you want, couldn't care less.
Listens:
383
Who:
Wheatley
Solve his puzzle for him. When he comes back, I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
382
Who:
GLaDOS
A somersault is just falling over in style. Congratulations on being clumsy.
Listens:
382
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not do it!
Listens:
382
Who:
Wheatley
Orange now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
381
Who:
GLaDOS
Violent temper. Oh, I'd like to see that.
Listens:
381
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Thanks.
Listens:
381
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, stop moving.
Listens:
381
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, you 'solved' it, but I'm wondering if there are a number of ways to solve them and you're picking all the worst ways.
Listens:
381
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on, I'll stop the elevator. Anything? Take your time...
Listens:
380
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, I'd tell you if I were dead. Courtesy. Mark of a civil society. So, just let me know.
Listens:
380
Who:
Wheatley
Plug me into that stick on the wall over there. I'll show you something.
Listens:
380
Who:
Wheatley
Okay!
Listens:
380
Who:
Defective Turret
And again, not playing along. You're ruining what are some really good speeches, actually.
Listens:
379
Who:
Wheatley
All right, you know what, it's gonna be best if you can get him to say something first. It's just better if I have a set-up.
Listens:
378
Who:
Core 2
I’ll just save the safety information about the dangerous experiment you’re about to do for AFTER the experiment.
Listens:
378
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe I shouldn't send you outside of the official testing courses, you are picking up some bad human traits.
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
I created this test to let the humans feel good about themselves. It is extremely easy. Just follow the arrows.
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
Emotional problems.
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
Look!
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
Then we'd come and find you. And rip your gross little stupid sphere body out of MY body, and put me back in.
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
Let go!
Listens:
377
Who:
Wheatley
You know what? Go ahead and jump. You've got braces on your legs. No braces on your arms, though. Gonna have to rely on the old human strength to keep a grip on the device and, by extension, me. So do. Do make sure to maintain a grip.
Listens:
377
Who:
Wheatley
Very good. You’ve really come together as a team. Thanks to the one of you who appears to be doing all of the work.
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfectionist. What's wrong with that?
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
At the rate you are completing these tests, I am beginning to think you don't share my excitement for rescuing crying trapped injured dying humans.
Listens:
375
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhh, here we go... here it comes...
Listens:
375
Who:
Wheatley
No. Wait, did I do B? Do you have a pen? Start writing these down.
Listens:
375
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, that's right. Little bullseye.
Listens:
375
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, what?
Listens:
375
Who:
Defective Turret
And it almost killed me.
Listens:
374
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m sorry, Subject Blue.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
Think about this.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
Finally! I had almost given up hope of ever testing again.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
Do something only a human would do.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
If the subject survived the test, we let them purchase the pictures for $5. If the subject died, we gave the photo to their next of kin free of charge.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
How is this even science, without the consequence of death?
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
Either way, I get the impression he's trying to kill us.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on. Couldn't we just use that conversion gel?
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
If you have, in fact, not, you are encouraged to take a moment to reflect on your failure before proceeding into the next chamber.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes? Something you need?
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
Leave me in! Leave me in! Go press it!
Listens:
373
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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