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The humans closed this test because they said it was too deadly. I thought they would have moved it into the testing track hall of fame for that, not let it deteriorate.
Listens:
434
Who:
GLaDOS
If at first you don't succeed, quit and try another course.
Listens:
434
Who:
GLaDOS
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
434
Who:
Defective Turret
I’m sorry, Subject Orange.
Listens:
433
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm afraid the door's locked. Just checked it. No way to hack it as far as I can tell. The mechanism must be on the -oh, now look at that. That's a big laser!
Listens:
433
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
433
Who:
Defective Turret
Welcome back to the hub, did you fail at selecting the correct course?
Listens:
432
Who:
GLaDOS
Preparing to love this... don't want to build it up too much... but I think this one's going to be good, I can tell...
Listens:
431
Who:
Wheatley
After seeing what he's done to my facility -- after we take over again -- is it alright if I kill him?
Listens:
430
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll bet you're both dying to know what your big surprise is. Only TWO more chambers!
Listens:
430
Who:
Wheatley
Look at this! No rail to tell us where to go! OH, this is brilliant. We can go where ever we want! Hold on, though, where are we going? Seriously. Hang on, let me just get my bearings. Hm. Just follow the rail, actually.
Listens:
430
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah.
Listens:
430
Who:
Defective Turret
Best of luck, lady!
Listens:
430
Who:
Defective Turret
And they said no one would ever die during this test, thanks for proving them wrong.
Listens:
429
Who:
GLaDOS
No knife? That's fine. I know all about pressure points.
Listens:
428
Who:
Core 2
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
428
Who:
Defective Turret
You do know I can't wave back right?
Listens:
427
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, alright.
Listens:
427
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, I did my best.
Listens:
427
Who:
Defective Turret
Nothing. He's good. This one. He is good. I'm gonna need to break out the expert level hacking maneuvers now. You asked for it Mate.
Listens:
425
Who:
Wheatley
The...um... sorry.. I wouldn't say smelly. Just attending to the humans.
Listens:
425
Who:
Wheatley
You did it!
Listens:
424
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. You have a dual portal device. There should be a way back to the testing area up ahead.
Listens:
424
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh oh.
Listens:
424
Who:
Wheatley
Are you alive down there?
Listens:
424
Who:
Wheatley
Very good. You’ve really come together as a team. Thanks to the one of you who appears to be doing all of the work.
Listens:
423
Who:
GLaDOS
It's been a pleasure!
Listens:
423
Who:
Defective Turret
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
422
Who:
Defective Turret
YEAH! What's happening?
Listens:
422
Who:
Defective Turret
How's that taste, pal?
Listens:
421
Who:
Core 2
Try one of those childish gestures.
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you trying to impress me? What would impress me more is if you never did that again.
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
Wish there was more books! But there's not.
Listens:
420
Who:
Wheatley
Tell ya what, why don't you put me down and I'll make a distraction.
Listens:
419
Who:
Core 2
You're doing great!
Listens:
419
Who:
Core 2
Congratulations. I am sure if I had the time to repair these tests, you would have never completed them. So again, congratulations on completing the broken easy tests.
Listens:
419
Who:
GLaDOS
All those pieces of the ceiling that keep falling out? Probably actually pieces of the ceiling, I'll bet. That looked real. But it doesn't signify anything, is my point.
Listens:
419
Who:
Wheatley
Also, once I eject myself out of the core the lift might stop. Then we'd be trapped in a lift full of broken glass suspended fifty feet off the ground.
Listens:
418
Who:
Wheatley
You know what? Go ahead and jump. You've got braces on your legs. No braces on your arms, though. Gonna have to rely on the old human strength to keep a grip on the device and, by extension, me. So do. Do make sure to maintain a grip.
Listens:
418
Who:
Wheatley
To get to the Vault, you are going to need to use all the tricks you have learned. To help, I have made these tests extremely difficult.
Listens:
417
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, my facility.
Listens:
417
Who:
GLaDOS
Hopeless. Just hopeless.
Listens:
416
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, you 'solved' it, but I'm wondering if there are a number of ways to solve them and you're picking all the worst ways.
Listens:
416
Who:
Wheatley
I spy with my little eye, something that starts with 'f'.
Listens:
416
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?
Listens:
416
Who:
Defective Turret
As the name implies, there are only two minor differences: One, the board; two, the rules.
Listens:
415
Who:
GLaDOS
I know we're in a lot of trouble and probably about to die.
Listens:
415
Who:
GLaDOS
You should both be familiar with the game of Tic-Tac-Toe.
Listens:
414
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you just saying that, or is it really going to hurt? You're just saying that aren't you? No, you're not. It is going to hurt, isn't it?
Listens:
414
Who:
Wheatley
Well played.
Listens:
414
Who:
Defective Turret
ORANGE, please observe your partner's favorite animal.
Listens:
413
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, I'll stop the elevator. Anything? Take your time...
Listens:
413
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm going to be honest with you now. Not fake honest like before, but real honest, like you're incapable of. I know you're up to something.
Listens:
413
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Oi oi! I'm up here!
Listens:
413
Who:
Wheatley
Oh.
Listens:
412
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's look at their files...
Listens:
412
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you cutting that out.
Listens:
412
Who:
GLaDOS
You can't die in any of those ways.
Listens:
411
Who:
GLaDOS
But now, looking around, seeing Aperture restored to its former glory? You don't have to worry about leaving EVER again. I mean that.
Listens:
411
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, I'd tell you if I were dead. Courtesy. Mark of a civil society. So, just let me know.
Listens:
411
Who:
Wheatley
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other’s performance so far.
Listens:
410
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll give you a hint. Button. That's all I'm gonna say. One word. Button.
Listens:
410
Who:
Wheatley
After you told me to turn the beam off, I thought I'd lost you. Went poking around for other test subjects. No luck there. Everyone's still all dead.
Listens:
410
Who:
Wheatley
I’ll just save the safety information about the dangerous experiment you’re about to do for AFTER the experiment.
Listens:
409
Who:
GLaDOS
And it almost killed me.
Listens:
409
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent. The Enrichment Center reminds you that bold, persistent experimentation is the hallmark of good science.
Listens:
409
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on. Couldn't we just use that conversion gel?
Listens:
408
Who:
GLaDOS
All right. You create a distraction then, and I'll distract him from YOUR distraction.
Listens:
407
Who:
Core 2
Yeah! How'd you like that?
Listens:
407
Who:
Core 2
Violent temper. Oh, I'd like to see that.
Listens:
407
Who:
GLaDOS
If you can get me in front of him, I'll fry every circuit in that little idiot's head.
Listens:
407
Who:
GLaDOS
Then we'd come and find you. And rip your gross little stupid sphere body out of MY body, and put me back in.
Listens:
407
Who:
GLaDOS
If you have, in fact, not, you are encouraged to take a moment to reflect on your failure before proceeding into the next chamber.
Listens:
407
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't decide which is my favorite; the crushers for crushing you or the reassembly machine for putting you back together so you can be crushed again.
Listens:
406
Who:
GLaDOS
Do something only a human would do.
Listens:
406
Who:
GLaDOS
I created this test to let the humans feel good about themselves. It is extremely easy. Just follow the arrows.
Listens:
406
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on. Get a goooood lonnnnng look.
Listens:
406
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, stop moving.
Listens:
405
Who:
Wheatley
Orange now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
404
Who:
GLaDOS
Think about this.
Listens:
404
Who:
GLaDOS
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
404
Who:
Wheatley
Perfectionist. What's wrong with that?
Listens:
403
Who:
GLaDOS
Passive-aggressive.
Listens:
403
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Thanks.
Listens:
403
Who:
GLaDOS
Solve his puzzle for him. When he comes back, I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
403
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay!
Listens:
403
Who:
Defective Turret
Maybe I shouldn't send you outside of the official testing courses, you are picking up some bad human traits.
Listens:
402
Who:
GLaDOS
Finally! I had almost given up hope of ever testing again.
Listens:
402
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, you are the most advanced model of robot Aperture Science has ever discontinued.
Listens:
402
Who:
GLaDOS
I hope that was some kind of joke.
Listens:
402
Who:
GLaDOS
If the subject survived the test, we let them purchase the pictures for $5. If the subject died, we gave the photo to their next of kin free of charge.
Listens:
402
Who:
GLaDOS
Either way, I get the impression he's trying to kill us.
Listens:
402
Who:
GLaDOS
Look down. Who's that, down there, talking? It's me! Down on the floor. Needing you to pick me up.
Listens:
402
Who:
Wheatley
And again, not playing along. You're ruining what are some really good speeches, actually.
Listens:
401
Who:
Wheatley
No!
Listens:
401
Who:
Wheatley
Plug me into that stick on the wall over there. I'll show you something.
Listens:
401
Who:
Wheatley
Why should I be kept informed about the life functions of the ten thousand bloody test subjects I'm supposed to be in charge of?
Listens:
401
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, what? How stupid does she think we are?
Listens:
401
Who:
Wheatley
Look!
Listens:
400
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh oh.
Listens:
400
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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