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Portal 2
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I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
495
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Oi oi! I'm up here!
Listens:
495
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah.
Listens:
495
Who:
Defective Turret
I can't decide which is my favorite; the crushers for crushing you or the reassembly machine for putting you back together so you can be crushed again.
Listens:
494
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, anyway. I've spoken enough. Take your time. I'll let you think about it. I don't want to pressure you: is it the lair? Is it the masher? You know what my opinion is: Masher. I'm leaning toward masher. Up to you. Just gonna give you some time to think
Listens:
494
Who:
Wheatley
I'm afraid the door's locked. Just checked it. No way to hack it as far as I can tell. The mechanism must be on the -oh, now look at that. That's a big laser!
Listens:
494
Who:
Wheatley
No knife? That's fine. I know all about pressure points.
Listens:
493
Who:
Core 2
Yes, you 'solved' it, but I'm wondering if there are a number of ways to solve them and you're picking all the worst ways.
Listens:
492
Who:
Wheatley
Uh oh.
Listens:
492
Who:
Wheatley
But now, looking around, seeing Aperture restored to its former glory? You don't have to worry about leaving EVER again. I mean that.
Listens:
490
Who:
GLaDOS
Here it comes, pal!
Listens:
490
Who:
Defective Turret
Then we'd come and find you. And rip your gross little stupid sphere body out of MY body, and put me back in.
Listens:
489
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
489
Who:
Defective Turret
Every time you fail, it's a reminder of the way things used to be. But then there you are. Again. Like nothing happened.
Listens:
487
Who:
GLaDOS
Also, once I eject myself out of the core the lift might stop. Then we'd be trapped in a lift full of broken glass suspended fifty feet off the ground.
Listens:
487
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Thanks.
Listens:
486
Who:
GLaDOS
BAM! Secret panel! That I opened. While your back was turned.
Listens:
486
Who:
Wheatley
Did I hit it? I hit it, didn't I?
Listens:
486
Who:
Defective Turret
Think about this.
Listens:
484
Who:
GLaDOS
All right. I’m going to bring this farce to a close before someone sustains a serious Tic-Tac-Toe-Two-related injury.
Listens:
483
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't plug him in.
Listens:
483
Who:
GLaDOS
If at first you don't succeed, quit and try another course.
Listens:
482
Who:
GLaDOS
YEAH! What's happening?
Listens:
482
Who:
Defective Turret
Hold on, I'll stop the elevator. Anything? Take your time...
Listens:
481
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what? Go ahead and jump. You've got braces on your legs. No braces on your arms, though. Gonna have to rely on the old human strength to keep a grip on the device and, by extension, me. So do. Do make sure to maintain a grip.
Listens:
481
Who:
Wheatley
Brilliant you made it through! Well done! Follow me, we've still got work to do. At least she can't touch us back here.
Listens:
481
Who:
Wheatley
Solve his puzzle for him. When he comes back, I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
480
Who:
GLaDOS
The dual portal device should be around here somewhere. Once you find it, we can start testing. Just like old times.
Listens:
480
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you alive down there?
Listens:
480
Who:
Wheatley
Keep it up, baby! You're creamin' him!
Listens:
479
Who:
Core 2
Humans! That's what you look like right now.
Listens:
479
Who:
GLaDOS
Try one of those childish gestures.
Listens:
479
Who:
GLaDOS
You did it!
Listens:
479
Who:
GLaDOS
Credit where credit's due: you're both doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
479
Who:
GLaDOS
Come back!
Listens:
478
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?
Listens:
478
Who:
Defective Turret
Let's look at their files...
Listens:
477
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
477
Who:
Defective Turret
Tell ya what, why don't you put me down and I'll make a distraction.
Listens:
476
Who:
Core 2
As the name implies, there are only two minor differences: One, the board; two, the rules.
Listens:
476
Who:
GLaDOS
Either way, I get the impression he's trying to kill us.
Listens:
476
Who:
GLaDOS
Ay. Double Pee-Ell-Ee.
Listens:
476
Who:
Wheatley
And it almost killed me.
Listens:
475
Who:
GLaDOS
If you can get me in front of him, I'll fry every circuit in that little idiot's head.
Listens:
475
Who:
GLaDOS
Yay, Orange is back. Testing can continue.
Listens:
474
Who:
GLaDOS
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
474
Who:
Defective Turret
Violent temper. Oh, I'd like to see that.
Listens:
473
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, how well do you really know Orange? Do you trust Orange? What if I told you, you aren't Orange's first cooperative partner?
Listens:
473
Who:
GLaDOS
How's that taste, pal?
Listens:
472
Who:
Core 2
Blabbermouth.
Listens:
472
Who:
GLaDOS
Then, then, when I reluctantly assume the responsibility of running the place, you conveniently decide to run off together. Just when I need you most.
Listens:
472
Who:
Wheatley
Preparing to love this... don't want to build it up too much... but I think this one's going to be good, I can tell...
Listens:
472
Who:
Wheatley
No. Wait, did I do B? Do you have a pen? Start writing these down.
Listens:
472
Who:
Wheatley
Finally! I had almost given up hope of ever testing again.
Listens:
471
Who:
GLaDOS
You do know I can't wave back right?
Listens:
471
Who:
GLaDOS
Wish there was more books! But there's not.
Listens:
471
Who:
Wheatley
And they said no one would ever die during this test, thanks for proving them wrong.
Listens:
470
Who:
GLaDOS
Passive-aggressive.
Listens:
470
Who:
GLaDOS
This is one of MY tests!
Listens:
470
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Bing! Perfect. On you go.
Listens:
470
Who:
Wheatley
It's been a pleasure!
Listens:
470
Who:
Defective Turret
Very good. You’ve really come together as a team. Thanks to the one of you who appears to be doing all of the work.
Listens:
469
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, my facility.
Listens:
469
Who:
GLaDOS
Why should I be kept informed about the life functions of the ten thousand bloody test subjects I'm supposed to be in charge of?
Listens:
469
Who:
Wheatley
Well played.
Listens:
469
Who:
Defective Turret
If you ARE there, would you mind... giving me a little bit of help? [nervous laugh] Just picking me up.
Listens:
468
Who:
Wheatley
This is AMAZING! We can walk wherever we want! Look, just... go left! No, go right, go right! Don't even care, don't even care, just go where ever you want, couldn't care less.
Listens:
466
Who:
Wheatley
So sometimes there's still trash in them. Standing around. Smelling, and being useless.
Listens:
465
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you cutting that out.
Listens:
465
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah, come on!
Listens:
465
Who:
Defective Turret
Still, if it were, Orange would be winning.
Listens:
464
Who:
GLaDOS
I spy with my little eye, something that starts with 'f'.
Listens:
464
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, so it's not the most watertight plan to go confront an omnipotent power-mad A.I. with.
Listens:
463
Who:
GLaDOS
Look down. Who's that, down there, talking? It's me! Down on the floor. Needing you to pick me up.
Listens:
463
Who:
Wheatley
I’m sorry, Subject Orange.
Listens:
462
Who:
GLaDOS
Procrastinator.
Listens:
462
Who:
GLaDOS
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction, in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have erased the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
462
Who:
GLaDOS
The...um... sorry.. I wouldn't say smelly. Just attending to the humans.
Listens:
462
Who:
Wheatley
You can't die in any of those ways.
Listens:
461
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, what?
Listens:
461
Who:
Defective Turret
Orange now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
460
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m sorry, Subject Blue.
Listens:
460
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, you are the most advanced model of robot Aperture Science has ever discontinued.
Listens:
460
Who:
GLaDOS
'Hygiene.' Huh. That's all it says.
Listens:
460
Who:
GLaDOS
Look!
Listens:
460
Who:
GLaDOS
If groups of hunter-gatherers appear to have made this - or any - test chamber their home, DO NOT AGITATE THEM. Test through them.
Listens:
460
Who:
GLaDOS
Let go of me!
Listens:
460
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhh, here we go... here it comes...
Listens:
460
Who:
Wheatley
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other’s performance so far.
Listens:
459
Who:
GLaDOS
You're no longer bothering me. You're only hurting my impression of you.
Listens:
459
Who:
GLaDOS
All those pieces of the ceiling that keep falling out? Probably actually pieces of the ceiling, I'll bet. That looked real. But it doesn't signify anything, is my point.
Listens:
459
Who:
Wheatley
Starting now, if I'm honest, to wonder if you're not doing all this screen-breaking on purpose. Beginning to take it personally. You know what I mean? It's like an insult to me.
Listens:
459
Who:
Wheatley
Look at this! No rail to tell us where to go! OH, this is brilliant. We can go where ever we want! Hold on, though, where are we going? Seriously. Hang on, let me just get my bearings. Hm. Just follow the rail, actually.
Listens:
459
Who:
Wheatley
Watch and learn, everybody. Watch and learn.
Listens:
459
Who:
Defective Turret
You're doing great!
Listens:
458
Who:
Core 2
Oh.
Listens:
458
Who:
GLaDOS
Emotional problems.
Listens:
458
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on. Couldn't we just use that conversion gel?
Listens:
458
Who:
GLaDOS
And again, not playing along. You're ruining what are some really good speeches, actually.
Listens:
458
Who:
Wheatley
I don't even know what I just said! But I can find out!
Listens:
458
Who:
Wheatley
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