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Portal 2
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I can't decide which is my favorite; the crushers for crushing you or the reassembly machine for putting you back together so you can be crushed again.
Listens:
502
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha ha ha ha ha. Did I tell you the one about the turned-off reassembly machine?
Listens:
502
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, anyway. I've spoken enough. Take your time. I'll let you think about it. I don't want to pressure you: is it the lair? Is it the masher? You know what my opinion is: Masher. I'm leaning toward masher. Up to you. Just gonna give you some time to think
Listens:
502
Who:
Wheatley
Good. You have a dual portal device. There should be a way back to the testing area up ahead.
Listens:
501
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah.
Listens:
500
Who:
Defective Turret
No knife? That's fine. I know all about pressure points.
Listens:
499
Who:
Core 2
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
499
Who:
GLaDOS
But now, looking around, seeing Aperture restored to its former glory? You don't have to worry about leaving EVER again. I mean that.
Listens:
499
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm afraid the door's locked. Just checked it. No way to hack it as far as I can tell. The mechanism must be on the -oh, now look at that. That's a big laser!
Listens:
499
Who:
Wheatley
Then we'd come and find you. And rip your gross little stupid sphere body out of MY body, and put me back in.
Listens:
498
Who:
GLaDOS
Solve his puzzle for him. When he comes back, I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
498
Who:
GLaDOS
Every time you fail, it's a reminder of the way things used to be. But then there you are. Again. Like nothing happened.
Listens:
496
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, you 'solved' it, but I'm wondering if there are a number of ways to solve them and you're picking all the worst ways.
Listens:
495
Who:
Wheatley
Here it comes, pal!
Listens:
495
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't plug him in.
Listens:
494
Who:
GLaDOS
Think about this.
Listens:
493
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Thanks.
Listens:
493
Who:
GLaDOS
Also, once I eject myself out of the core the lift might stop. Then we'd be trapped in a lift full of broken glass suspended fifty feet off the ground.
Listens:
492
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
492
Who:
Defective Turret
BAM! Secret panel! That I opened. While your back was turned.
Listens:
491
Who:
Wheatley
YEAH! What's happening?
Listens:
491
Who:
Defective Turret
All right. I’m going to bring this farce to a close before someone sustains a serious Tic-Tac-Toe-Two-related injury.
Listens:
489
Who:
GLaDOS
The dual portal device should be around here somewhere. Once you find it, we can start testing. Just like old times.
Listens:
489
Who:
GLaDOS
Did I hit it? I hit it, didn't I?
Listens:
488
Who:
Defective Turret
If at first you don't succeed, quit and try another course.
Listens:
486
Who:
GLaDOS
Credit where credit's due: you're both doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
486
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what? Go ahead and jump. You've got braces on your legs. No braces on your arms, though. Gonna have to rely on the old human strength to keep a grip on the device and, by extension, me. So do. Do make sure to maintain a grip.
Listens:
486
Who:
Wheatley
Are you alive down there?
Listens:
486
Who:
Wheatley
Brilliant you made it through! Well done! Follow me, we've still got work to do. At least she can't touch us back here.
Listens:
486
Who:
Wheatley
As the name implies, there are only two minor differences: One, the board; two, the rules.
Listens:
485
Who:
GLaDOS
You did it!
Listens:
485
Who:
GLaDOS
If you can get me in front of him, I'll fry every circuit in that little idiot's head.
Listens:
485
Who:
GLaDOS
Tell ya what, why don't you put me down and I'll make a distraction.
Listens:
484
Who:
Core 2
Try one of those childish gestures.
Listens:
483
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's look at their files...
Listens:
483
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?
Listens:
483
Who:
Defective Turret
Keep it up, baby! You're creamin' him!
Listens:
482
Who:
Core 2
Humans! That's what you look like right now.
Listens:
481
Who:
GLaDOS
And it almost killed me.
Listens:
481
Who:
GLaDOS
This is one of MY tests!
Listens:
481
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, I'll stop the elevator. Anything? Take your time...
Listens:
481
Who:
GLaDOS
Then, then, when I reluctantly assume the responsibility of running the place, you conveniently decide to run off together. Just when I need you most.
Listens:
481
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
481
Who:
Defective Turret
Yay, Orange is back. Testing can continue.
Listens:
480
Who:
GLaDOS
Either way, I get the impression he's trying to kill us.
Listens:
480
Who:
GLaDOS
Come back!
Listens:
480
Who:
Wheatley
Preparing to love this... don't want to build it up too much... but I think this one's going to be good, I can tell...
Listens:
480
Who:
Wheatley
Ay. Double Pee-Ell-Ee.
Listens:
479
Who:
Wheatley
How's that taste, pal?
Listens:
478
Who:
Core 2
Blue, how well do you really know Orange? Do you trust Orange? What if I told you, you aren't Orange's first cooperative partner?
Listens:
478
Who:
GLaDOS
Wish there was more books! But there's not.
Listens:
478
Who:
Wheatley
Finally! I had almost given up hope of ever testing again.
Listens:
477
Who:
GLaDOS
Violent temper. Oh, I'd like to see that.
Listens:
477
Who:
GLaDOS
No. Wait, did I do B? Do you have a pen? Start writing these down.
Listens:
477
Who:
Wheatley
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
477
Who:
Defective Turret
Blabbermouth.
Listens:
476
Who:
GLaDOS
Passive-aggressive.
Listens:
476
Who:
GLaDOS
Why should I be kept informed about the life functions of the ten thousand bloody test subjects I'm supposed to be in charge of?
Listens:
476
Who:
Wheatley
Look down. Who's that, down there, talking? It's me! Down on the floor. Needing you to pick me up.
Listens:
475
Who:
Wheatley
It's been a pleasure!
Listens:
475
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh, my facility.
Listens:
474
Who:
GLaDOS
You do know I can't wave back right?
Listens:
474
Who:
GLaDOS
Very good. You’ve really come together as a team. Thanks to the one of you who appears to be doing all of the work.
Listens:
472
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Bing! Perfect. On you go.
Listens:
472
Who:
Wheatley
If you ARE there, would you mind... giving me a little bit of help? [nervous laugh] Just picking me up.
Listens:
472
Who:
Wheatley
Well played.
Listens:
472
Who:
Defective Turret
And they said no one would ever die during this test, thanks for proving them wrong.
Listens:
471
Who:
GLaDOS
So sometimes there's still trash in them. Standing around. Smelling, and being useless.
Listens:
471
Who:
GLaDOS
Notice the moat area. Very deadly. Extremely dangerous. Eventually. Not at the moment. Still working on it, still working on it.
Listens:
471
Who:
Wheatley
You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you cutting that out.
Listens:
470
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m sorry, Subject Blue.
Listens:
469
Who:
GLaDOS
Look!
Listens:
469
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, so it's not the most watertight plan to go confront an omnipotent power-mad A.I. with.
Listens:
469
Who:
GLaDOS
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction, in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have erased the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
469
Who:
GLaDOS
This is AMAZING! We can walk wherever we want! Look, just... go left! No, go right, go right! Don't even care, don't even care, just go where ever you want, couldn't care less.
Listens:
469
Who:
Wheatley
Ah, come on!
Listens:
469
Who:
Defective Turret
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other’s performance so far.
Listens:
468
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m sorry, Subject Orange.
Listens:
468
Who:
GLaDOS
'Hygiene.' Huh. That's all it says.
Listens:
468
Who:
GLaDOS
If groups of hunter-gatherers appear to have made this - or any - test chamber their home, DO NOT AGITATE THEM. Test through them.
Listens:
468
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh.
Listens:
467
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, you are the most advanced model of robot Aperture Science has ever discontinued.
Listens:
467
Who:
GLaDOS
Procrastinator.
Listens:
467
Who:
GLaDOS
Look at this! No rail to tell us where to go! OH, this is brilliant. We can go where ever we want! Hold on, though, where are we going? Seriously. Hang on, let me just get my bearings. Hm. Just follow the rail, actually.
Listens:
467
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, what? How stupid does she think we are?
Listens:
467
Who:
Wheatley
You can't die in any of those ways.
Listens:
466
Who:
GLaDOS
I spy with my little eye, something that starts with 'f'.
Listens:
466
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, what?
Listens:
466
Who:
Defective Turret
Abrasive personality.
Listens:
465
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on. Couldn't we just use that conversion gel?
Listens:
465
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent. The Enrichment Center reminds you that bold, persistent experimentation is the hallmark of good science.
Listens:
465
Who:
GLaDOS
Plug me into that stick on the wall over there. I'll show you something.
Listens:
465
Who:
Wheatley
The...um... sorry.. I wouldn't say smelly. Just attending to the humans.
Listens:
465
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
465
Who:
Defective Turret
You're doing great!
Listens:
464
Who:
Core 2
Still, if it were, Orange would be winning.
Listens:
464
Who:
GLaDOS
Emotional problems.
Listens:
464
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't even know what I just said! But I can find out!
Listens:
464
Who:
Wheatley
Starting now, if I'm honest, to wonder if you're not doing all this screen-breaking on purpose. Beginning to take it personally. You know what I mean? It's like an insult to me.
Listens:
464
Who:
Wheatley
And again, not playing along. You're ruining what are some really good speeches, actually.
Listens:
463
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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