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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Look, anyway. I've spoken enough. Take your time. I'll let you think about it. I don't want to pressure you: is it the lair? Is it the masher? You know what my opinion is: Masher. I'm leaning toward masher. Up to you. Just gonna give you some time to think
Listens:
503
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I did my best.
Listens:
503
Who:
Defective Turret
Watch and learn, everyone. Watch and learn.
Listens:
503
Who:
Defective Turret
I can't decide which is my favorite; the crushers for crushing you or the reassembly machine for putting you back together so you can be crushed again.
Listens:
502
Who:
GLaDOS
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
501
Who:
GLaDOS
Then we'd come and find you. And rip your gross little stupid sphere body out of MY body, and put me back in.
Listens:
501
Who:
GLaDOS
No knife? That's fine. I know all about pressure points.
Listens:
500
Who:
Core 2
But now, looking around, seeing Aperture restored to its former glory? You don't have to worry about leaving EVER again. I mean that.
Listens:
500
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm afraid the door's locked. Just checked it. No way to hack it as far as I can tell. The mechanism must be on the -oh, now look at that. That's a big laser!
Listens:
500
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah.
Listens:
500
Who:
Defective Turret
Solve his puzzle for him. When he comes back, I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
499
Who:
GLaDOS
Every time you fail, it's a reminder of the way things used to be. But then there you are. Again. Like nothing happened.
Listens:
497
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, you 'solved' it, but I'm wondering if there are a number of ways to solve them and you're picking all the worst ways.
Listens:
497
Who:
Wheatley
Think about this.
Listens:
495
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Thanks.
Listens:
495
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't plug him in.
Listens:
495
Who:
GLaDOS
Also, once I eject myself out of the core the lift might stop. Then we'd be trapped in a lift full of broken glass suspended fifty feet off the ground.
Listens:
495
Who:
Wheatley
Here it comes, pal!
Listens:
495
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
493
Who:
Defective Turret
YEAH! What's happening?
Listens:
492
Who:
Defective Turret
BAM! Secret panel! That I opened. While your back was turned.
Listens:
491
Who:
Wheatley
All right. I’m going to bring this farce to a close before someone sustains a serious Tic-Tac-Toe-Two-related injury.
Listens:
490
Who:
GLaDOS
The dual portal device should be around here somewhere. Once you find it, we can start testing. Just like old times.
Listens:
489
Who:
GLaDOS
Then, then, when I reluctantly assume the responsibility of running the place, you conveniently decide to run off together. Just when I need you most.
Listens:
489
Who:
Wheatley
You know what? Go ahead and jump. You've got braces on your legs. No braces on your arms, though. Gonna have to rely on the old human strength to keep a grip on the device and, by extension, me. So do. Do make sure to maintain a grip.
Listens:
489
Who:
Wheatley
Did I hit it? I hit it, didn't I?
Listens:
489
Who:
Defective Turret
If you can get me in front of him, I'll fry every circuit in that little idiot's head.
Listens:
488
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you alive down there?
Listens:
488
Who:
Wheatley
Brilliant you made it through! Well done! Follow me, we've still got work to do. At least she can't touch us back here.
Listens:
488
Who:
Wheatley
If at first you don't succeed, quit and try another course.
Listens:
487
Who:
GLaDOS
Credit where credit's due: you're both doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
487
Who:
GLaDOS
As the name implies, there are only two minor differences: One, the board; two, the rules.
Listens:
486
Who:
GLaDOS
You did it!
Listens:
486
Who:
GLaDOS
Try one of those childish gestures.
Listens:
485
Who:
GLaDOS
Tell ya what, why don't you put me down and I'll make a distraction.
Listens:
484
Who:
Core 2
Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?
Listens:
484
Who:
Defective Turret
Keep it up, baby! You're creamin' him!
Listens:
483
Who:
Core 2
Let's look at their files...
Listens:
483
Who:
GLaDOS
Yay, Orange is back. Testing can continue.
Listens:
483
Who:
GLaDOS
This is one of MY tests!
Listens:
483
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, I'll stop the elevator. Anything? Take your time...
Listens:
483
Who:
GLaDOS
Humans! That's what you look like right now.
Listens:
482
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
482
Who:
Defective Turret
And it almost killed me.
Listens:
481
Who:
GLaDOS
Either way, I get the impression he's trying to kill us.
Listens:
481
Who:
GLaDOS
Preparing to love this... don't want to build it up too much... but I think this one's going to be good, I can tell...
Listens:
481
Who:
Wheatley
Ay. Double Pee-Ell-Ee.
Listens:
481
Who:
Wheatley
Passive-aggressive.
Listens:
480
Who:
GLaDOS
Come back!
Listens:
480
Who:
Wheatley
Wish there was more books! But there's not.
Listens:
480
Who:
Wheatley
Finally! I had almost given up hope of ever testing again.
Listens:
479
Who:
GLaDOS
How's that taste, pal?
Listens:
478
Who:
Core 2
Blue, how well do you really know Orange? Do you trust Orange? What if I told you, you aren't Orange's first cooperative partner?
Listens:
478
Who:
GLaDOS
No. Wait, did I do B? Do you have a pen? Start writing these down.
Listens:
478
Who:
Wheatley
It's been a pleasure!
Listens:
478
Who:
Defective Turret
Blabbermouth.
Listens:
477
Who:
GLaDOS
Violent temper. Oh, I'd like to see that.
Listens:
477
Who:
GLaDOS
Why should I be kept informed about the life functions of the ten thousand bloody test subjects I'm supposed to be in charge of?
Listens:
477
Who:
Wheatley
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
477
Who:
Defective Turret
Look down. Who's that, down there, talking? It's me! Down on the floor. Needing you to pick me up.
Listens:
476
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, my facility.
Listens:
475
Who:
GLaDOS
You do know I can't wave back right?
Listens:
475
Who:
GLaDOS
Very good. You’ve really come together as a team. Thanks to the one of you who appears to be doing all of the work.
Listens:
473
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, so it's not the most watertight plan to go confront an omnipotent power-mad A.I. with.
Listens:
473
Who:
GLaDOS
Notice the moat area. Very deadly. Extremely dangerous. Eventually. Not at the moment. Still working on it, still working on it.
Listens:
473
Who:
Wheatley
There. Bing! Perfect. On you go.
Listens:
473
Who:
Wheatley
Well played.
Listens:
473
Who:
Defective Turret
If you ARE there, would you mind... giving me a little bit of help? [nervous laugh] Just picking me up.
Listens:
472
Who:
Wheatley
And they said no one would ever die during this test, thanks for proving them wrong.
Listens:
471
Who:
GLaDOS
So sometimes there's still trash in them. Standing around. Smelling, and being useless.
Listens:
471
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you cutting that out.
Listens:
471
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah, come on!
Listens:
471
Who:
Defective Turret
Look!
Listens:
470
Who:
GLaDOS
This is AMAZING! We can walk wherever we want! Look, just... go left! No, go right, go right! Don't even care, don't even care, just go where ever you want, couldn't care less.
Listens:
470
Who:
Wheatley
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other’s performance so far.
Listens:
469
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m sorry, Subject Blue.
Listens:
469
Who:
GLaDOS
Procrastinator.
Listens:
469
Who:
GLaDOS
'Hygiene.' Huh. That's all it says.
Listens:
469
Who:
GLaDOS
If groups of hunter-gatherers appear to have made this - or any - test chamber their home, DO NOT AGITATE THEM. Test through them.
Listens:
469
Who:
GLaDOS
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction, in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have erased the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
469
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, what?
Listens:
469
Who:
Defective Turret
I’m sorry, Subject Orange.
Listens:
468
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh.
Listens:
468
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, you are the most advanced model of robot Aperture Science has ever discontinued.
Listens:
468
Who:
GLaDOS
You can't die in any of those ways.
Listens:
468
Who:
GLaDOS
Look at this! No rail to tell us where to go! OH, this is brilliant. We can go where ever we want! Hold on, though, where are we going? Seriously. Hang on, let me just get my bearings. Hm. Just follow the rail, actually.
Listens:
468
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, what? How stupid does she think we are?
Listens:
468
Who:
Wheatley
I don't even know what I just said! But I can find out!
Listens:
467
Who:
Wheatley
Starting now, if I'm honest, to wonder if you're not doing all this screen-breaking on purpose. Beginning to take it personally. You know what I mean? It's like an insult to me.
Listens:
467
Who:
Wheatley
Abrasive personality.
Listens:
466
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent. The Enrichment Center reminds you that bold, persistent experimentation is the hallmark of good science.
Listens:
466
Who:
GLaDOS
I spy with my little eye, something that starts with 'f'.
Listens:
466
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
466
Who:
Defective Turret
You're doing great!
Listens:
465
Who:
Core 2
Still, if it were, Orange would be winning.
Listens:
465
Who:
GLaDOS
Emotional problems.
Listens:
465
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on. Couldn't we just use that conversion gel?
Listens:
465
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes? Something you need?
Listens:
465
Who:
GLaDOS
And again, not playing along. You're ruining what are some really good speeches, actually.
Listens:
465
Who:
Wheatley
All those pieces of the ceiling that keep falling out? Probably actually pieces of the ceiling, I'll bet. That looked real. But it doesn't signify anything, is my point.
Listens:
465
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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