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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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OW.
Listens:
668
Who:
Wheatley
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Listens:
666
Who:
Core 3
Alright, I'm pulling you out.
Listens:
666
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah!
Listens:
665
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is a good person, whose insights are relevant.
Listens:
664
Who:
Core 3
Dang!
Listens:
664
Who:
Defective Turret
Miss you!
Listens:
663
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't press the button!
Listens:
663
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations! This pre-recorded congratulations assumes you have mastered the principles of portal momentum.
Listens:
662
Who:
GLaDOS
You can't keep going like this forever, you know. I'm GOING to find out what you're doing. Out there. Where I can't see you. I'll know. All I need is proof.
Listens:
660
Who:
GLaDOS
You have excellent aim!
Listens:
659
Who:
Turret
The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
Listens:
657
Who:
GLaDOS
That's horrible.
Listens:
657
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody is going to have to repair it. No, it's okay, I'll do that too. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
655
Who:
GLaDOS
Fifty thousand years is a lot of time to think. About me. About you. We were doing so well together.
Listens:
655
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
655
Who:
Defective Turret
Their laughter centered around one of the objects in this room.
Listens:
654
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh come on... If it makes you feel any better, they abandoned you at birth, so I very seriously doubt they'd even want to see you.
Listens:
654
Who:
GLaDOS
She’s probably okay.
Listens:
654
Who:
Turret
Did you know humans frown on weight variances?
Listens:
653
Who:
GLaDOS
Yay, Blue is back. Testing can continue.
Listens:
652
Who:
GLaDOS
I would prefer to speak to one of you in private but since that is not an option here, I will speak in code that only one of you will understand. Blue: Orange is plotting to destroy you.
Listens:
652
Who:
GLaDOS
Do, uh.... we get some eyes at some point?
Listens:
651
Who:
Defective Turret
Here's an interesting story. I almost got a job down here in Manufacturing. Guess who the foreman went with? Only an exact duplicate of himself. Nepotism. Ended up giving me the WORST job, tending to all the smelly humans.
Listens:
648
Who:
Wheatley
The Tariff Act of 1789, established to protect domestic manufacture, was the second statute ever enacted by the United States government.
Listens:
645
Who:
Core 3
So... you're gonna test. I'm gonna watch. And everything is gonna be JUST... FINE.
Listens:
645
Who:
Wheatley
No wait, come back. Sorry. Please. I was going somewhere with that.
Listens:
644
Who:
Wheatley
The floor. What's the floor doing? What's the floor up to? Do you know what? It's holding everything up. The floor is important, holding everything up.
Listens:
642
Who:
Wheatley
Come closer.
Listens:
642
Who:
Turret
Yeah! Still not working.
Listens:
641
Who:
Defective Turret
Firing
Listens:
641
Who:
Turret
Thought you'd seen the last of us, didn't ya?
Listens:
640
Who:
Defective Turret
Look at you. Dancing.
Listens:
639
Who:
GLaDOS
I need backup!
Listens:
639
Who:
Turret
What is this, like a hobby for you now? I mean, honestly, it's crazy! You've been running around for hours, I'm surprised you have the energy to smash screens willy nilly. Honestly, I'd have a little lie down if I were you. Have a nap.
Listens:
637
Who:
Wheatley
In the event that it does, this next test involves exposure to cattle tuberculosis. Good luck!
Listens:
636
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, I see you waving.
Listens:
636
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Oh! Did it kill you? Oh, that would be amazing if it killed you.
Listens:
634
Who:
Wheatley
NO!
Listens:
633
Who:
GLaDOS
Have I ever told you the qualities I love most in you? In order: Number one: resolving things, love the ways you resolve things. Particularly disputes. Number one, tied: Button-pushing. Two things I love about you: Button pushing and the ability to resolve things. Chiefly disputes.
Listens:
633
Who:
Wheatley
Aw, come on!
Listens:
632
Who:
Defective Turret
Are you alright back there? Here, I'll turn the beam off.
Listens:
630
Who:
Wheatley
ORANGE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite element from the periodic table.
Listens:
629
Who:
GLaDOS
The body he's squatting in - MY body - has a built-in euphoric response to testing. Eventually you build up a resistance to it, and it can get a little... unbearable. Unless you have the mental capacity to push past it.
Listens:
629
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Plan B. We need humans.
Listens:
627
Who:
GLaDOS
And as soon as I can PROVE it, the laws of robotics allow me to terminate you for being a liar.
Listens:
627
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah! Perhaps the turrets have found a way to use garrotes. That would explain the extremely... quiet killing. That I'm hearing.
Listens:
627
Who:
Wheatley
You know what? I think we're well past the point of tasteful restraint. So I'll tell you: they all died. Horrifically. Trying to get that portal device that you're gripping in your meaty little fingers there.
Listens:
627
Who:
Wheatley
Hello?
Listens:
627
Who:
Wheatley
You won't regret this!
Listens:
627
Who:
Defective Turret
Would you like to know the results of that last test? Me too. If they existed, we'd all be VERY happy right now. And not furious, which is the emotion I'm actually feeling.
Listens:
626
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, buddy!
Listens:
626
Who:
Wheatley
Do you feel more human?
Listens:
625
Who:
GLaDOS
I let him keep his job. I'm not a monster. Ignore what he's saying, though. Keep testing.
Listens:
624
Who:
Wheatley
Does it actually make you feel good when you do that? Because it's not impressive. Noone's impressed. It's just glass, isn't it. Fragile. A baby could smash one of them. It's not impressive.
Listens:
623
Who:
Wheatley
Whoever wins this battle is clearly superior, and will earn the allegiance of the Fact Sphere.
Listens:
622
Who:
Core 3
So he's inexplicably happy all of a sudden, even though he should be going out of his mind with test withdrawal. AND he's got a surprise for us. What did he FIND back there?
Listens:
622
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange
Listens:
621
Who:
GLaDOS
[laugh] Our handiwork. Shouldn't laugh. They do feel pain. Of a sort. All simulated. But real enough for them I suppose.
Listens:
620
Who:
Wheatley
I'm gonna make you proud!
Listens:
620
Who:
Defective Turret
We are?
Listens:
619
Who:
Core 1
ow.
Listens:
618
Who:
GLaDOS
Here, stand behind me. Yeah, just like that. Just like you're doing. Things are about to get real messy.
Listens:
617
Who:
Core 2
Well... Good. Good. Finally, a nemesis worthy of my vast intellect.
Listens:
617
Who:
Wheatley
Resting
Listens:
616
Who:
Turret
Hey.
Listens:
615
Who:
Core 1
This is the neurotoxin generator. Bit bigger than I expected. Not going to be able to just, you know, push it over. Have to apply some cleverness.
Listens:
614
Who:
Wheatley
Well done!
Listens:
614
Who:
Turret
A gallon of water weighs 8.34 pounds
Listens:
613
Who:
Core 3
Well, it was nice catching up. Let's get to business.
Listens:
613
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh. I see. [chuckle]
Listens:
612
Who:
Wheatley
Tungsten has the highest melting point of any metal, at 3,410 degrees Celsius.
Listens:
611
Who:
Core 3
Really? You’re just going to blatantly cheat?
Listens:
610
Who:
GLaDOS
Perhaps I should have specified. Teamwork is a concept in which two or more people work together, usually with a goal of not failing horribly.
Listens:
610
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, thanks so much!
Listens:
610
Who:
Defective Turret
Here we are. The Incinerator Room. Be careful not to trip over any parts of me that didn't get completely burned when you threw them down here.
Listens:
609
Who:
GLaDOS
You just beat this test. Literally twenty seconds ago.
Listens:
609
Who:
Wheatley
Also, I took the liberty of watching the tapes of you killing her, and I'm not going to make the same mistakes. Four part plan is this:
Listens:
609
Who:
Wheatley
Yahh. Gehhh!
Listens:
609
Who:
Wheatley
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Oh yeah!
Listens:
608
Who:
Core 2
Don't worry I'm absolutely guaranteeing you 100 percent that it's this way... Oh it's not this way.
Listens:
608
Who:
Wheatley
Fine, 500 point penalty for Blue.
Listens:
607
Who:
GLaDOS
Spinny-blade-wall!
Listens:
607
Who:
Wheatley
Where'd you go? Come back! Come back!
Listens:
606
Who:
Wheatley
Are you expecting applause?
Listens:
605
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you remember when we were friends?
Listens:
605
Who:
Wheatley
AH!
Listens:
605
Who:
Wheatley
No, you should plug that little idiot into the mainframe!
Listens:
605
Who:
Wheatley
Fine! No, absolutely fine. It's not like I don't have, you know, ten thousand other test subjects begging me to help them escape. You know, it's not like this place is about to EXPLODE.
Listens:
605
Who:
Wheatley
three
Listens:
604
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you broken? It looks like you're malfunctioning.
Listens:
603
Who:
GLaDOS
Warmer. Warrrrmer. Boiling hot. Boiling--okay, colder. Ice cold. Arctic. Very very very cold LOOK JUST GET ON THE BUTTON!
Listens:
602
Who:
Wheatley
Get going. I'll fill you in along the way.
Listens:
601
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't bite my tongue anymore: You could solve this puzzle faster on your own. Orange is dragging you down. There. I've said it.
Listens:
601
Who:
GLaDOS
Bring your daughter to work day. That did not end well.
Listens:
601
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. You survived. That's interesting. I guess I should have factored in your weight.
Listens:
600
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody's going to have to repair that too. No, don't get up. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
600
Who:
GLaDOS
Run! I don't need to do the voice. RUN!
Listens:
600
Who:
Wheatley
Ah, friendship. Friendly times. We had a lot of good times, do you remember? Back in the old days.
Listens:
599
Who:
Wheatley
Ha ha! Gotcha right where I want ya!
Listens:
599
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
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