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Portal 2
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TF2 Music
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Come on, sweetie! He's got a glass jaw! He's got a glass everything! This guy's a china cabinet!
Listens:
687
Who:
Core 2
Get mad!
Listens:
34174
Who:
Turret
Oh no no no... No! Nooo!
Listens:
9790
Who:
Wheatley
There you are! I was starting to get worried.
Listens:
285
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. Still nothing, let's keep moving.
Listens:
312
Who:
Wheatley
Say goodbye, Caroline.
Listens:
5560
Who:
Cave Johnson
Well. This is the part where he kills us.
Listens:
1639
Who:
GLaDOS
Aggressive. I like that.
Listens:
916
Who:
GLaDOS
Nice catch, Orange.
Listens:
971
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
540
Who:
Defective Turret
Sorry, are you still there? Could you--could you pick me up?
Listens:
1244
Who:
Wheatley
You know what? Just get in the lift. We'll iron out the details as we go.
Listens:
317
Who:
Wheatley
Don't. Do it.
Listens:
877
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, how about now? NOW WHO'S A MORON?
Listens:
1990
Who:
Wheatley
Be a shame to miss it, wouldn't it? Just for the old neurotoxin. Neurotoxin will still be here tomorrow. Whereas that bird will be gone any minute. Already got one talon off the branch. Gonna be gone.
Listens:
605
Who:
Wheatley
I thought going back to these old tests would satisfy me. But try as you might to fail this next test, I still won't be satisfied.
Listens:
291
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I tried.
Listens:
827
Who:
Defective Turret
This next test applies the principles of momentum to movement through portals. If the laws of physics no longer apply in the future, God help you.
Listens:
3941
Who:
Announcer
Sometimes testing has to occur outside the confines of the lab.
Listens:
282
Who:
GLaDOS
Either way, I get the impression he's trying to kill us.
Listens:
447
Who:
GLaDOS
Even if I am lying, what do you have to lose? You're going to die either way.
Listens:
556
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Oh! Don't leave me behind! Do pick me up, if you would...
Listens:
389
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Brilliant, thank you, great.
Listens:
632
Who:
Wheatley
I don't want to alarm either of you, but we might have a tiny problem. Apparently you can't test unless you're human. Well - you CAN. It's just that, results-wise, the physical universe doesn't care.
Listens:
1136
Who:
GLaDOS
I've been doing some reading. Did you know that the word orange is derived from the same Latin root as the word traitor?
Listens:
539
Who:
GLaDOS
Plug me into that stick on the wall over there. Yeah? And I'll show you something. You'll be impressed by this.
Listens:
331
Who:
Wheatley
So sometimes there's still trash in them. Standing around. Smelling, and being useless.
Listens:
433
Who:
GLaDOS
Critical error
Listens:
13321
Who:
Turret
Hey! Pick me up!
Listens:
654
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Thanks.
Listens:
452
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't take anything with you.
Listens:
392
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhhh, yes. Ohhhh. Well done.
Listens:
4457
Who:
Wheatley
And what else is down there... Tell you what, it's only a new jumpsuit. A very trendy designer jumpsuit from France. Down there. Which is exactly your size. And if it's a bit baggy, we got a tailor down there as well who can take it in for you
Listens:
810
Who:
Wheatley
Did you feel that? That idiot doesn't know what he's doing up there. This whole place is going to explode in a few hours if somebody doesn't disconnect him.
Listens:
1288
Who:
GLaDOS
Please continue into the next test chamber.
Listens:
407
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, you 'solved' it, but I'm wondering if there are a number of ways to solve them and you're picking all the worst ways.
Listens:
456
Who:
Wheatley
The good news is... well, none so far, to be honest. I'll get back to you on that.
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
In case you were wondering: Yes. I'm still a potato. Go away.
Listens:
7529
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll bet you're both dying to know what your big surprise is. Only TWO more chambers!
Listens:
462
Who:
Wheatley
I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science.
Listens:
759
Who:
GLaDOS
And we're only seeing the top layer. It goes down for miles.
Listens:
316
Who:
Wheatley
Stay still, please.
Listens:
609
Who:
Wheatley
There we go. Lift called.
Listens:
298
Who:
Wheatley
OW.
Listens:
756
Who:
Wheatley
You failed so many times in this test, I thought you were becoming human. But then you would just come back again and again and again.
Listens:
513
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, you're... doing a great job. Can you handle things for yourself for a while? I need to think.
Listens:
556
Who:
GLaDOS
To start preparing for human testing again, I checked an old suggestion box. The number one request? Less deadly tests.
Listens:
420
Who:
GLaDOS
Agh! Bird! Bird! Kill it! It's evil!
Listens:
37591
Who:
GLaDOS
While I was out investigating, I found a fascinating new test element. It's never been used for human testing because, apparently, contact with it causes heart failure. The literature doesn't mention anything about lump-of-coal failure, though, so you should be fine.
Listens:
993
Who:
GLaDOS
See you at the bottom. Good luck!
Listens:
316
Who:
Wheatley
This should take us right to her. I can't believe I'm finally doing this!
Listens:
279
Who:
Wheatley
No sense of humor.
Listens:
333
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you do that on purpose?
Listens:
281
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh thank god. You saved my bacon, pal. Where we going? Is this a jailbreak? I can't see a thing.
Listens:
6758
Who:
Defective Turret
Initiating surprise in three... two... one.
Listens:
3571
Who:
GLaDOS
Since, I never expected you to make it this far, I have to build this new course just for you.
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
Procrastinator.
Listens:
424
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you doing? Put me back this instant.
Listens:
370
Who:
GLaDOS
Hah! It bloody worked! I hacked it! Hacked. Properly. Properly hacked. Ha ha ha!
Listens:
1246
Who:
Wheatley
I'm not defective!
Listens:
1392
Who:
Defective Turret
Welcome to the enrichment center. [cough]
Listens:
6253
Who:
Cave Johnson
No, seriously. Do come back. Come back, please.
Listens:
1210
Who:
Wheatley
Well, that should do it.
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
You win.
Listens:
1320
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, now you're just being cruel. Orange receives 25 science collaboration points.
Listens:
387
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I've just gotta concentrate!
Listens:
313
Who:
Wheatley
Hell, put her in my computer. I don't care.
Listens:
1636
Who:
Cave Johnson
Did you ever stop to think that eventually there’s a point where your name gets mentioned for the very last time. Well, here it is: I’m going to kill you, Chell.
Listens:
109310
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue just taught orange a valuable lesson in trust. For that, blue receives 14 science collaboration points.
Listens:
410
Who:
GLaDOS
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
474
Who:
Defective Turret
Do you smell neurotoxin?
Listens:
591
Who:
Wheatley
Progress report: Still pretty tricky!
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
Come on! We have to go!
Listens:
285
Who:
Wheatley
Jammed 'em all together. Buttons. Got funnels. Bottomless pits are involved. It's got it all, it's absolute dynamite.
Listens:
525
Who:
Wheatley
That jumpsuit you're wearing looks stupid. That's not me talking, it's right here in your file. On other people it looks fine, but right here a scientist has noted that on you it looks 'stupid.'
Listens:
2632
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange what did you do?
Listens:
333
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. In fact, you did so well, I'm going to note this on your file, in the commendations section. Oh, there's lots of room here. 'Did.... well. ... Enough.'
Listens:
4954
Who:
GLaDOS
You like revenge, right? Everybody likes revenge. Well, let's go get some.
Listens:
2730
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere.
Listens:
813
Who:
Core 3
Alright, going on three just gives you too much time to think about it. Let's, uh, go on one this time. Okay, ready?
Listens:
316
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah.
Listens:
378
Who:
Defective Turret
Well done. Here come the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: A horrible person. We weren't even testing for that.
Listens:
76806
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh oh oh ohohohoh oh. Gotta go to space.
Listens:
1093
Who:
Core 1
Stalemate detected. Transfer procedure cannot continue.
Listens:
2570
Who:
Announcer
How is this even science, without the possibility of death?
Listens:
623
Who:
GLaDOS
ow.
Listens:
521
Who:
GLaDOS
Always sad.
Listens:
570
Who:
GLaDOS
THREE! That's high. It's TOO high, isn't it, really, that--
Listens:
563
Who:
Wheatley
Welcome back to the central hub. All test courses are available. You may redundantly solve the courses at your leisure.
Listens:
1072
Who:
Announcer
Preparing to dispense product
Listens:
2624
Who:
Turret
Yeah, it's alright. Go ahead.
Listens:
314
Who:
Wheatley
You KNOW her?
Listens:
587
Who:
Wheatley
This was another test no one had ever completed before you two. Oh, the science we used to learn with this test. Now the test is useless.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
Space.
Listens:
1179
Who:
Core 1
Congratulations. Your ability to complete this test proves the humans wrong. They described it as impossible, deadly, cruel, and one test subject even had the nerve to call it broken.
Listens:
1062
Who:
GLaDOS
There you are
Listens:
2051
Who:
Turret
Nap time
Listens:
3341
Who:
Turret
Stay calm! 'Prepare' - that's all they're saying. 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm gonna get us out of here.
Listens:
589
Who:
Wheatley
[sigh] Don't tell anyone about this.
Listens:
1465
Who:
Defective Turret
Your destination's probably not going to come meet us here. Is it? So go on.
Listens:
280
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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