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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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No can do.
Listens:
377
Who:
Defective Turret
I thought of some good news. He's going to run out of test chambers eventually. I never stockpiled them.
Listens:
397
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm in space.
Listens:
1915
Who:
Core 1
Surprise.
Listens:
6188
Who:
GLaDOS
I made it all up.
Listens:
1050
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, that should do it.
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
All right. I'm officially no longer paying attention to you.
Listens:
326
Who:
GLaDOS
[whispered] ...I think she's lying...
Listens:
608
Who:
Wheatley
You already did this one. It'll be easy.
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no...
Listens:
429
Who:
Wheatley
(excited gasps)
Listens:
1639
Who:
Core 1
Vent system compromised: Neurotoxin offline.
Listens:
4145
Who:
Announcer
You may as well have a little rest, actually, while I work on it.
Listens:
324
Who:
Wheatley
Once, they even attached an Intelligence Dampening Sphere on me. It clung to my brain like a tumor, generating an endless stream of terrible ideas.
Listens:
1377
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, what?
Listens:
526
Who:
Defective Turret
I can only place a portal on a white portalable surface.
Listens:
335
Who:
GLaDOS
Lactose intolerant.
Listens:
514
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on, just walk up to the window and take a look out.
Listens:
343
Who:
Wheatley
ahhhhEHHHHHH!
Listens:
1373
Who:
Wheatley
Otherwise, I'm afraid you're about to become the immediate past president of the Being Alive club. Ha ha.
Listens:
3942
Who:
GLaDOS
Interpreting vague answer as YES.
Listens:
26673
Who:
Announcer
Wait wait wait wait. I know I know I know. Lady wait. Wait. I know. Wait. Space.
Listens:
2764
Who:
Core 1
Ah. Hmmmm.
Listens:
332
Who:
Wheatley
Was that course too difficult?
Listens:
384
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't move, though. That's the problem now.
Listens:
937
Who:
Wheatley
Halley's Comet can be viewed orbiting Earth every seventy-six years. For the other seventy-five, it retreats to the heart of the sun, where it hibernates undisturbed.
Listens:
959
Who:
Core 3
clickclickclick
Listens:
491
Who:
Defective Turret
Go on.
Listens:
374
Who:
Wheatley
Hairless. Hm.
Listens:
529
Who:
GLaDOS
This is Tic-Tac-Toe-Two.
Listens:
937
Who:
GLaDOS
Just get it off me...
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
Powerup initiated.
Listens:
4865
Who:
Announcer
AGH! You look TERRIB--you look good. Looking good, actually. If I'm honest.
Listens:
828
Who:
Wheatley
I was outside watching some deer frolic. You don't even care about the outside do you?
Listens:
831
Who:
GLaDOS
Lady.
Listens:
845
Who:
Core 1
The humans accidentally forgot to put a security DVD in the player.
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
Yep. Still blind.
Listens:
848
Who:
Defective Turret
No knife? That's fine. I know all about pressure points.
Listens:
497
Who:
Core 2
Sorry about the mess. I've really let the place go since you killed me. By the way, thanks for that.
Listens:
1426
Who:
GLaDOS
The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space.
Listens:
815
Who:
Core 3
Alright, I wasn't going to mention this to you, but I am in PRETTY HOT WATER here.
Listens:
439
Who:
Wheatley
Something is wrong, this door should be opening.
Listens:
400
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah, I see. Clever. Verrrrrrry clever.
Listens:
2970
Who:
Wheatley
While the submarine is vastly superior to the boat in every way, over 97% of people still use boats for aquatic transportation.
Listens:
855
Who:
Core 3
You know what? Go ahead and jump. You've got braces on your legs. No braces on your arms, though. Gonna have to rely on the old human strength to keep a grip on the device and, by extension, me. So do. Do make sure to maintain a grip.
Listens:
485
Who:
Wheatley
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
453
Who:
Wheatley
Good news! I can use this equipment to shut down the neurotoxin system. It is, however, password protected. AH! Alarm bells! No. Don't worry. Not a problem for me.
Listens:
578
Who:
Wheatley
That conversion gel has been sitting in that pipe going stagnant for years. You'll probably get botulism portalling through it like that.
Listens:
433
Who:
Wheatley
In 1862, Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, freeing the slaves. Like everything he did, Lincoln freed the slaves while sleepwalking, and later had no memory of the event.
Listens:
1691
Who:
Core 3
And...?
Listens:
394
Who:
GLaDOS
Space. Space. Gonna go to space.
Listens:
1067
Who:
Core 1
GET IN!
Listens:
326
Who:
Wheatley
Most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished. I want to congratulate you on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds.
Listens:
1198
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I gave it everything I could. Can't ask for more than that.
Listens:
572
Who:
Defective Turret
Let's try this again. Try to make your way across the machinery.
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
I can't believe you came back.
Listens:
539
Who:
GLaDOS
Here's another core! This one should do it!
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
This. Sentence. Is. FALSE don't think about it don't think about it...
Listens:
33122
Who:
GLaDOS
You know who ended up, do you know who ended up taking her down in the end? You're not going to believe this. A human.
Listens:
314
Who:
Wheatley
[Laughter]
Listens:
5913
Who:
GLaDOS
Crap!
Listens:
1249
Who:
Defective Turret
I’m scared!
Listens:
766
Who:
Turret
Corruption at 25%
Listens:
890
Who:
Core 3
Ha! Death trap!
Listens:
845
Who:
Wheatley
Hey hey hey hey hey!
Listens:
1258
Who:
Core 1
Facial grimacing.
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
It won't.
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
We're in space!
Listens:
2622
Who:
Wheatley
Gotcha!
Listens:
2310
Who:
Turret
You both need to do something.
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, now. She can't use her turrets. So let's go and take care of that neurotoxin generator as well.
Listens:
332
Who:
Wheatley
Ahhhhhh. 'FALSE'. I'll go 'false'.
Listens:
5801
Who:
Wheatley
Sollllve it...
Listens:
339
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, I almost forgot, when you go outside the testing courses the only way I can retrieve you is to violently disassemble and then carefully reassemble you.
Listens:
637
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you guess 'sharks'? Because that's wrong. The correct answer is 'nobody.' Nobody but you is that pointlessly cruel.
Listens:
4270
Who:
GLaDOS
Please test your device by portaling to that ledge.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! That's ME they're talking about!
Listens:
749
Who:
Wheatley
Better buy a telescope. Wanna see me. Buy a telescope. Gonna be in space.
Listens:
5594
Who:
Core 1
Keep it up, baby! You're creamin' him!
Listens:
481
Who:
Core 2
The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
Listens:
809
Who:
Core 3
BAM! Secret panel! That I opened. While your back was turned.
Listens:
490
Who:
Wheatley
You will be dead soon.
Listens:
900
Who:
Core 3
Whatever he does, it isn't important enough for anyone to bother writing it down. For all I know, he doesn't even work here.
Listens:
541
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, just a second...
Listens:
322
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah.
Listens:
376
Who:
Defective Turret
Uh oh.
Listens:
678
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
588
Who:
Defective Turret
What's going on? Who turned off the lights?
Listens:
689
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm telling 'em, keep your pants on.
Listens:
3711
Who:
Cave Johnson
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha
Listens:
1284
Who:
Defective Turret
Can you get out?
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
Can you reach that wall back there?
Listens:
297
Who:
Wheatley
Wait, where are you going? Where are you going?
Listens:
343
Who:
Wheatley
Once testing starts, I'm required by protocol to keep interaction with you to a minimum. Luckily, we haven't started testing yet. This will be our only chance to talk.
Listens:
646
Who:
GLaDOS
Briefly.
Listens:
787
Who:
GLaDOS
Come on, stop muckin' around! Plug me in!
Listens:
311
Who:
Wheatley
Come on! Over here! This way!
Listens:
315
Who:
Wheatley
Prometheus was punished by the gods for giving the gift of knowledge to man. He was cast into the bowels of the earth and pecked by birds.
Listens:
45262
Who:
Turret
I want to be plugged in, please!
Listens:
353
Who:
Wheatley
Space? SPACE!
Listens:
24908
Who:
Core 1
00:00 / 00:00
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