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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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[hums 'For He's A Jolly Good Fellow']
Listens:
5153
Who:
GLaDOS
The Adventure Sphere is a blowhard and a coward.
Listens:
1131
Who:
Core 3
The end.
Listens:
1657
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, that port looks comfy. Why don't you put me on it, please.
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! How's it going? Here I am again!
Listens:
362
Who:
Wheatley
How was that?
Listens:
380
Who:
Defective Turret
You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
Listens:
560
Who:
GLaDOS
We should be getting close. Ohh, I can't wait to see the look on her face. No neurotoxin, no turrets--she'll never know what hit her!
Listens:
412
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
572
Who:
Defective Turret
If the Earth is currently governed by a manner of animal-king, sentient cloud, or other governing body that either refuses to or is incapable of listening to reason, th- [RECORDING SHORTS OUT]
Listens:
4476
Who:
Announcer
Ohhhhhhh, that's tremendous.
Listens:
572
Who:
Wheatley
Also, I took the liberty of watching the tapes of you killing her, and I'm not going to make the same mistakes. Four part plan is this:
Listens:
702
Who:
Wheatley
Ow. I hate this bird.
Listens:
2006
Who:
GLaDOS
We're so close! Go press the button!
Listens:
1534
Who:
GLaDOS
You may as well have a little rest, actually, while I work on it.
Listens:
317
Who:
Wheatley
I wouldn't have warned you about this before, back when we hated each other. But those turrets are firing real bullets. So look out. I'd hate for something tragic to happen to you before I extract all your bone marrow.
Listens:
1471
Who:
GLaDOS
Any ideas? Any ideas? No? No, me neither.
Listens:
308
Who:
Wheatley
Every time you fail, it's a reminder of the way things used to be. But then there you are. Again. Like nothing happened.
Listens:
485
Who:
GLaDOS
If you're going to hit each other, at least aim for the head.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't you DARE plug him in.
Listens:
676
Who:
GLaDOS
Pshh. Really? And do what, exactly?
Listens:
637
Who:
Wheatley
Now, you already met one another on the limo ride over, so let me introduce myself.
Listens:
1101
Who:
Cave Johnson
Oh no. He found the cooperative testing initiative. It's... something I came up to phase out human testing just before you escaped.
Listens:
709
Who:
GLaDOS
This lock requires humans.
Listens:
420
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll bet there isn't even a problem with the facility, is there? I'll bet there's no such thing as a 'reactor core'. I'll bet that's not even fire coming out of the walls, is it? It's just cleverly placed lights and papier mache, I'll bet that's all it is.
Listens:
2221
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, it's not nice to make fun of Orange like that.
Listens:
326
Who:
GLaDOS
The scientists were always hanging cores on me to regulate my behavior. I've heard voices all my life. But now I hear the voice of a conscience, and it's terrifying, because for the first time it's my voice.
Listens:
1658
Who:
GLaDOS
ORANGE, please show me where you would like me to place a portal.
Listens:
416
Who:
GLaDOS
Space!
Listens:
2906
Who:
Core 1
In the event that the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from spa
Listens:
801
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. You survived. That's interesting. I guess I should have factored in your weight.
Listens:
718
Who:
GLaDOS
Agggh, not again!
Listens:
573
Who:
Defective Turret
Here it comes, pal!
Listens:
489
Who:
Defective Turret
It'll be fine. Get in.
Listens:
346
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Allright. I have an idea. But it is bloody dangerous. Here we go...
Listens:
546
Who:
Wheatley
She is a gem.
Listens:
3100
Who:
Cave Johnson
[laugh] Would you pick me up?
Listens:
672
Who:
Wheatley
I found some bird eggs up here. Just dropped 'em into the door mechanism. Shut it right down. I--AGH!
Listens:
1151
Who:
Wheatley
If you can't complete this course, those humans will die. Do you want that in your memory banks?
Listens:
321
Who:
GLaDOS
Nothing. Nothing.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. You're upside down now.
Listens:
686
Who:
GLaDOS
All right, you know what, it's gonna be best if you can get him to say something first. It's just better if I have a set-up.
Listens:
437
Who:
Core 2
Just go.
Listens:
3612
Who:
GLaDOS
Arsonist.
Listens:
368
Who:
GLaDOS
Spinny-blade-wall!
Listens:
694
Who:
Wheatley
Gotcha!
Listens:
2299
Who:
Turret
Agggh! I'm on fire!
Listens:
7329
Who:
Defective Turret
It's still going down! Keep it up!
Listens:
347
Who:
Wheatley
No no no! Don't do that! Stand right there! [to self] Start the machine start the machine start the machine...
Listens:
799
Who:
Wheatley
Where are you going? Don't run! Don't run! I'll tell you why you shouldn't run: The harder you breathe, the more neurotoxin you'll inhale. It's bloody clever, this stuff. Seriously, it's devilish.
Listens:
671
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations on successfully returning to the central hub room. From here you can select all previously completed courses.
Listens:
1132
Who:
Announcer
[laugh] Our handiwork. Shouldn't laugh. They do feel pain. Of a sort. All simulated. But real enough for them I suppose.
Listens:
745
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations on completing that test. But something seems off.
Listens:
298
Who:
GLaDOS
Did something break back there?
Listens:
653
Who:
Wheatley
Orange, it's not nice to make fun of Blue like that.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other’s performance so far.
Listens:
459
Who:
GLaDOS
I know I'm early, but we have to go right NOW!
Listens:
360
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations. Your ability to complete this test proves the humans wrong. They described it as impossible, deadly, cruel, and one test subject even had the nerve to call it broken.
Listens:
1087
Who:
GLaDOS
We're a lot alike, you and I. You tested me. I tested you. You killed me. I--oh, no, wait. I guess I HAVEN'T killed you yet. Well. Food for thought.
Listens:
3470
Who:
GLaDOS
Be careful!
Listens:
310
Who:
Wheatley
Again, those are science collaboration points, which you should not confuse with points from competitions such as Who-Gets-To-Live-At-The-End-And-Who-Doesn’t. I mean basketball.
Listens:
1436
Who:
GLaDOS
You have excellent aim!
Listens:
738
Who:
Turret
If you want to just call it quits, we could just sit here. Forever. That's an option. Option A: Sit here. Do nothing. Option B: Go through there, and if she's alive, she'll almost certainly kill us.
Listens:
556
Who:
Wheatley
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
540
Who:
Defective Turret
MOVE.
Listens:
527
Who:
Wheatley
[yelling]
Listens:
655
Who:
Wheatley
I thought of some good news. He's going to run out of test chambers eventually. I never stockpiled them.
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
Fine. Let the games begin.
Listens:
4173
Who:
Wheatley
Every square inch of the human body has 32 million bacteria on it.
Listens:
632
Who:
Core 3
Here's another core! This one should do it!
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
Ungh!
Listens:
333
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry, are you still there? Could you--could you pick me up?
Listens:
1269
Who:
Wheatley
This is not good.
Listens:
2171
Who:
Turret
Did anything happen while I was out?
Listens:
433
Who:
GLaDOS
You two aren't lost are you?
Listens:
342
Who:
GLaDOS
I am NOT! A MORON!
Listens:
15706
Who:
Wheatley
You may want to try and avoid those turrets.
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm being serious, I think there's something really wrong with me.
Listens:
1290
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
4273
Who:
Wheatley
THEY didn't fly into space, storm a beach, or bring back the gold. No sir, we did! It's you and me against the world, son! I like your grit! Hustle could use some work, though. Now let's solve this thing!
Listens:
1999
Who:
Cave Johnson
Don't want to hassle you. Sure you're busy. But--still here on the floor. Waiting to be picked up.
Listens:
333
Who:
Wheatley
Space.
Listens:
1040
Who:
Core 1
Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
541
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't like space. Don't like space.
Listens:
3878
Who:
Core 1
Most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished. I want to congratulate you on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds.
Listens:
1185
Who:
GLaDOS
And we're only seeing the top layer. It goes down for miles.
Listens:
333
Who:
Wheatley
So I've been thinking: We need humans for these tests. And since the only human within a thousand miles of us is a test-ruining sociopath... I'll just have to MAKE some.
Listens:
1624
Who:
GLaDOS
And here I thought this room was dangerously unlethal.
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
There. If you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own recognizance, I'll be right back.
Listens:
1078
Who:
GLaDOS
Get dirty with this robot! This robot owes you money! This robot owes! You! Money!
Listens:
1334
Who:
Core 2
I was outside watching some deer frolic. You don't even care about the outside do you?
Listens:
823
Who:
GLaDOS
Just, ah... pick me up. Take me with you.
Listens:
314
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah.
Listens:
580
Who:
GLaDOS
It's too big. Too big. Wanna go home. Wanna go to earth.
Listens:
6626
Who:
Core 1
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
2856
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Good news! [electic pop] Nevermind.
Listens:
6721
Who:
Wheatley
It won't be enough.
Listens:
1077
Who:
Turret
Riggght now.
Listens:
334
Who:
Wheatley
Oh!
Listens:
1358
Who:
Turret
Oh thank god. You saved my bacon, pal. Where we going? Is this a jailbreak? I can't see a thing.
Listens:
6823
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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