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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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This is the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center or SinTech.
Listens:
625
Who:
GLaDOS
Tungsten has the highest melting point of any metal, at 3,410 degrees Celsius.
Listens:
729
Who:
Core 3
Oo! I've got an idea!
Listens:
560
Who:
Wheatley
And guess what? Ground up moon rocks are pure poison. I am deathly ill.
Listens:
6495
Who:
Cave Johnson
Excellent.
Listens:
328
Who:
GLaDOS
Very good. You’ve really come together as a team. Thanks to the one of you who appears to be doing all of the work.
Listens:
465
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center. [laughs]
Listens:
4344
Who:
GLaDOS
And as soon as I can PROVE it, the laws of robotics allow me to terminate you for being a liar.
Listens:
734
Who:
GLaDOS
(excited gasps)
Listens:
1629
Who:
Core 1
Yes, you. Box. Your stuff. Out the front door. Parking lot. Car. Goodbye.
Listens:
10003
Who:
Cave Johnson
Ha... That sounded real. No! That was actually an impression of you. Actually. Because you just fell into my trap. My brilliant trap. Just then. I wanted you to trick me into bursting that pipe. You didn't trick me. Seemingly trick me. Gives you false hope. Leads to overconfidence. And that leads to mistakes. Fatal mistakes. It's all part of my plan.
Listens:
2108
Who:
Wheatley
Orbit. Space orbit. In my spacesuit.
Listens:
1259
Who:
Core 1
Yeah, that's right. Little bullseye.
Listens:
413
Who:
Defective Turret
Searching
Listens:
914
Who:
Turret
Ow!
Listens:
1014
Who:
Turret
Excellent! You're a predator and these tests are your prey. Speaking of which, I was researching sharks for an upcoming test. Do you know who else murders people who are only trying to help them?
Listens:
3502
Who:
GLaDOS
Watch out, pal!
Listens:
1096
Who:
Defective Turret
Programmed in one last tremor, for old time's sake.
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Listens:
771
Who:
Core 3
I'm gonna make you proud!
Listens:
689
Who:
Defective Turret
In Greek myth, Prometheus stole fire from the Gods and gave it to humankind. The jewelry he kept for himself.
Listens:
3180
Who:
Core 3
Remember when I told you that he was specifically designed to make bad decisions? Because I think he's decided not to maintain any of the crucial functions required to keep this facility from exploding.
Listens:
525
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm actually asking. Because I have no idea. He's not listed anywhere in the employee database.
Listens:
533
Who:
GLaDOS
That isn't science.
Listens:
2620
Who:
GLaDOS
ORANGE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite element from the periodic table.
Listens:
776
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's try this again. Try to make your way across the machinery.
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
Ahahaha
Listens:
2131
Who:
Turret
Okay, great! Here comes another core!
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
My fault
Listens:
1295
Who:
Turret
Let go of me!
Listens:
458
Who:
Wheatley
If the Earth is currently governed by a manner of animal-king, sentient cloud, or other governing body that either refuses to or is incapable of listening to reason, th- [RECORDING SHORTS OUT]
Listens:
4449
Who:
Announcer
Why...
Listens:
2850
Who:
Turret
eight
Listens:
589
Who:
GLaDOS
[laugh]
Listens:
41331
Who:
Cave Johnson
Are you alright?
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, this ain't good.
Listens:
1089
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, fine. I'll ask you again in a few decades.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
You will need him for the final track.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Squeaky-voice! Gimme some of your bullets!
Listens:
2473
Who:
Defective Turret
Pop a little portal, just there, alright? Behind me. And come on through.
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
Oh my god. What has he done to this place?
Listens:
1598
Who:
GLaDOS
Being Caroline taught me another valuable lesson: where Caroline lives in my brain.
Listens:
921
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you OK?
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
Come on, sweetie! He's got a glass jaw! He's got a glass everything! This guy's a china cabinet!
Listens:
742
Who:
Core 2
You know what? Just get in the lift. We'll iron out the details as we go.
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
Didn't even get to the good part yet. Twist ending.
Listens:
633
Who:
Wheatley
Remember when I first told you how to find that little portal thing you love so much? Thought you'd die on the way, if I'm honest. All the others did.
Listens:
667
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, it will. Believe me, it will.
Listens:
1792
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey!
Listens:
856
Who:
Turret
I'm starting to think giving you arms was a big mistake.
Listens:
298
Who:
GLaDOS
Self test error
Listens:
1458
Who:
Turret
Excuse me
Listens:
2080
Who:
Turret
Aw. Bless your little primate brain. I'm not actually in the room with you. Am I? Technology. It's complicated. Can't hurt the big god face.
Listens:
1800
Who:
Wheatley
You're doing a great job of disappointing me.
Listens:
870
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't move, though. That's the problem now.
Listens:
929
Who:
Wheatley
Good news. I figured out what to do with all the money I save recycling your one roomful of air. When you die, I'm going to laminate your skeleton and pose you in the lobby. That way future generations can learn from you how not to have your unfortunate bone structure.
Listens:
1497
Who:
GLaDOS
It didn't matter to me - I was in it for the science. Him, though...
Listens:
569
Who:
GLaDOS
And we would have talked our way out of it. Oh! Except you forgot to tell me you'd murdered her. And that she needed you to live, so the only available vent for her rage would be good old crushable Wheatley. Yeah. Little details I remember. Easy little tidbits you could have used to save me from getting crushed if you'd cared, which you didn't, obviously. And still don't.
Listens:
3386
Who:
Wheatley
And check this out! I'm a bloody genius now!
Listens:
713
Who:
Wheatley
I'm done.
Listens:
1331
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
485
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?
Listens:
471
Who:
Defective Turret
Commence standing by in three. Two. One.
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
Preparing to love this... don't want to build it up too much... but I think this one's going to be good, I can tell...
Listens:
469
Who:
Wheatley
Ahh. What?
Listens:
909
Who:
Wheatley
Come on, you've already solved it once. Less than a minute ago you solved this puzzle. Do it again, please.
Listens:
895
Who:
Wheatley
One of these times you'll be so fat that you'll jump, and you'll just drop like a stone. Into acid, probably. Like a potato into a deep fat fryer.
Listens:
18560
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you need real encouragement? Let's see if this helps.
Listens:
412
Who:
GLaDOS
Seriously, I'm not joking. Could you just turn around for a second?
Listens:
531
Who:
Wheatley
Oh... can someone reassemble Blue?
Listens:
314
Who:
GLaDOS
Enough! I told you not to put these cores on me. But you don't listen, do you? Quiet. All the time. Quietly not listening to a word I say. Judging me. Silently. The worst kind.
Listens:
1400
Who:
Wheatley
You really do have brain damage, don't you?
Listens:
2235
Who:
GLaDOS
You have trapped yourself. Congratulations. The exit door is now open.
Listens:
3727
Who:
Announcer
I've got a surprise for you after this next test. Not a fake, tragic surprise like last time. A real surprise, with tragic consequences. And real confetti this time. The good stuff. Our last bag. Part of me's going to miss it, I guess-but at the end of the day it was just taking up space.
Listens:
9103
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, you are very good at being an example.
Listens:
364
Who:
GLaDOS
Error. Error. Error. File not found.
Listens:
1336
Who:
Core 3
Here's an interesting story. I almost got a job down here in Manufacturing. Guess who the foreman went with? Only an exact duplicate of himself. Nepotism. Ended up giving me the WORST job, tending to all the smelly humans.
Listens:
756
Who:
Wheatley
Impersonating a stalemate associate. I just added that to the list. It's a list I made of all the things you've done. Well, it's a list that I AM making, because you're still doing things right now, even though I'm telling you to stop. Stop, by the way.
Listens:
1405
Who:
GLaDOS
Haha, Mr. Johnson!
Listens:
2160
Who:
Caroline
Yahh. Gehhh!
Listens:
742
Who:
Wheatley
Corruption at 50%
Listens:
1062
Who:
Core 3
Not you, test subject, you're doing fine.
Listens:
1822
Who:
Cave Johnson
Do not press that button!
Listens:
851
Who:
Wheatley
BURN HIS HOUSE DOWN!
Listens:
6404
Who:
GLaDOS
If you're dying, but not dead, stomp once. If you're dead, obviously no stomps. And two stomps if you're not dead. Lemme just run through that again: If you're dying but not dead stomp just once. If you're dead, obviously you won't be stomping. And if you're not dead, give me two stomps.
Listens:
1289
Who:
Wheatley
You've got one hour! Solve it!
Listens:
606
Who:
Wheatley
Did my hint help? It did, didn't it? You know, if any of our supervisors had been immune to neurotoxin, they'd be FURIOUS with us right now.
Listens:
1565
Who:
GLaDOS
Look at that, it's growing right up into the ceiling. The whole place is probably overrun with potatoes at this point. At least you won't starve, though.
Listens:
1627
Who:
Wheatley
[BUZZER NOISE]
Listens:
22588
Who:
Wheatley
Dare it. Dare to dream. Shoot for the stars.
Listens:
545
Who:
Wheatley
Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens.
Listens:
2043
Who:
Core 3
If groups of hunter-gatherers appear to have made this - or any - test chamber their home, DO NOT AGITATE THEM. Test through them.
Listens:
456
Who:
GLaDOS
I hope that was some kind of joke.
Listens:
430
Who:
GLaDOS
Abrasive personality.
Listens:
434
Who:
GLaDOS
You have a gift for these tests. That’s not just flattery. You are great at science.
Listens:
876
Who:
GLaDOS
MOVE.
Listens:
525
Who:
Wheatley
At the rate you are completing these tests, I am beginning to think you don't share my excitement for rescuing crying trapped injured dying humans.
Listens:
418
Who:
GLaDOS
GO.
Listens:
1096
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on!
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
Arrrrgh!
Listens:
759
Who:
Turret
00:00 / 00:00
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