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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Okay!
Listens:
435
Who:
Defective Turret
The situation you are in is very dangerous.
Listens:
2971
Who:
Core 3
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
530
Who:
Defective Turret
Not much of a plan, if I'm honest. But I'm afraid it's all we have at his point. Barring a sudden barrage of speech from your direction. Improbable. At best.
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
Pshh. Really? And do what, exactly?
Listens:
638
Who:
Wheatley
Yes sir!
Listens:
4003
Who:
Caroline
I think we're in trouble.
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
That's funny, I don't feel corrupt. In fact, I feel pretty good.
Listens:
1884
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe you ARE getting human emotions.
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
Follow me! You're gonna love this.
Listens:
437
Who:
Wheatley
Every square inch of the human body has 32 million bacteria on it.
Listens:
632
Who:
Core 3
Oh! What can we do with me then. I know! Plug me into the port, please.
Listens:
317
Who:
Wheatley
Dang.
Listens:
663
Who:
Defective Turret
[sound of pages turning] Oh, sorry. Hope that didn't disturb you just then. It was the sound of books. Pages being turned.
Listens:
1409
Who:
Wheatley
Very good. You’ve really come together as a team. Thanks to the one of you who appears to be doing all of the work.
Listens:
469
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah. Clickety click click. Right on the money.
Listens:
3324
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey hey hey!
Listens:
2084
Who:
Turret
Turret redemption lines are not rides, please exit the turret redemption line.
Listens:
1344
Who:
Announcer
No, wait, wait!
Listens:
584
Who:
Defective Turret
Most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished. I want to congratulate you on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds.
Listens:
1188
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, let's try this way.
Listens:
440
Who:
Wheatley
Sentry mode activated
Listens:
2120
Who:
Turret
Do you have any idea how good this feels?
Listens:
603
Who:
Wheatley
Come on through to the other side.
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
Horrible people skills.
Listens:
994
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, in the end, yes, they let me go. It's all politics, to be honest. It's a big popularity contest, it's all about who you know, and whose back you're willing to scratch, who doesn't touch -- or, in my case, who did accidentally touch -- the neurotoxin button.
Listens:
1364
Who:
Wheatley
Excellent. The Enrichment Center reminds you that bold, persistent experimentation is the hallmark of good science.
Listens:
457
Who:
GLaDOS
The humans closed this test because they said it was too deadly. I thought they would have moved it into the testing track hall of fame for that, not let it deteriorate.
Listens:
498
Who:
GLaDOS
You know who ended up, do you know who ended up taking her down in the end? You're not going to believe this. A human.
Listens:
312
Who:
Wheatley
Please ping a white portalable surface.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
And whose fault do you think it's going to be when the management comes down here and finds ten thousand flipping vegetables?
Listens:
1707
Who:
Wheatley
Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I'm in space!
Listens:
376627
Who:
Core 1
Are you alright?
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
Completing this course was not a reason to behave like that.
Listens:
347
Who:
GLaDOS
Where'd you go? Come back! Come back!
Listens:
681
Who:
Wheatley
You could stand to lose a few pounds.
Listens:
829
Who:
Core 3
GO.
Listens:
1103
Who:
GLaDOS
Pop a portal on that wall behind me there, and I'll meet you on the other side of the room.
Listens:
337
Who:
Wheatley
Are you alive down there?
Listens:
480
Who:
Wheatley
A bloody bird! Right? Couldn't believe it either. And then the bird--
Listens:
1226
Who:
Wheatley
Whatever he does, it isn't important enough for anyone to bother writing it down. For all I know, he doesn't even work here.
Listens:
537
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, deleting Caroline just now taught me a valuable lesson. The best solution to a problem is usually the easiest one. And I'll be honest.
Listens:
1686
Who:
GLaDOS
Agh! You're alive! Great!
Listens:
516
Who:
Wheatley
Does it actually make you feel good when you do that? Because it's not impressive. Noone's impressed. It's just glass, isn't it. Fragile. A baby could smash one of them. It's not impressive.
Listens:
720
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, so, silent contemplation it is. Mysterious button... Sorry. Sorry. Silence. Do not speak. In the silence. Let the silence descend. Here it comes. One hundred percent silence. From now. By the way, if you come up with any ideas, do flag them up. Don't feel you have to stay quiet because I've said absolute silence. So if you come up with an idea, mention it. Otherwise, absolute silence starting... Now.
Listens:
1845
Who:
Wheatley
ORANGE, please show me where you would like me to place a portal.
Listens:
418
Who:
GLaDOS
Crap!
Listens:
1082
Who:
Defective Turret
Alright, you can go.
Listens:
401
Who:
Defective Turret
Seriously, I'm not joking. Could you just turn around for a second?
Listens:
535
Who:
Wheatley
Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I'm sorry. You didn't react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane. That's why I had to call you garbage a second time just now.
Listens:
4229
Who:
GLaDOS
And he'll probably kill us, because he's incredibly powerful and I have no plan.
Listens:
854
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no. He found the cooperative testing initiative. It's... something I came up to phase out human testing just before you escaped.
Listens:
713
Who:
GLaDOS
Still held! Still bein' held. That's a great job. You've applied the grip. We're all fine. That's tremendous.
Listens:
359
Who:
Wheatley
Oh.
Listens:
458
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m sorry, Subject Blue.
Listens:
460
Who:
GLaDOS
It's healthy for you to have other friends. To look for qualities in other people that I obviously lack.
Listens:
589
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
2984
Who:
Turret
I talked my way onto the nanobot work crew rebuilding this shaft. They're REALLY small, so they have very tiny little brains. But there're a billion of 'em, so it's only a matter of time until ONE of them notices I'm the size of a planet.
Listens:
979
Who:
Wheatley
What are you doing in there?
Listens:
324
Who:
Wheatley
FOOL! You were a fool to come back, because I've trapped you again! Helpless. You're at my mercy. And I don't have any. You're at my nothing. You're at my lack of mercy.
Listens:
2264
Who:
Wheatley
*I* have to go to the wing that was made entirely of glass and pick up fifteen acres of broken glass. By myself.
Listens:
1945
Who:
GLaDOS
Wait wait wait wait. I know I know I know. Lady wait. Wait. I know. Wait. Space.
Listens:
2758
Who:
Core 1
All sealed off years ago, of course.
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?
Listens:
478
Who:
Defective Turret
If you are alive, can you say something. Jump around so I know you are OK?
Listens:
382
Who:
Wheatley
Searching
Listens:
875
Who:
Turret
If you can't complete this course, those humans will die. Do you want that?
Listens:
368
Who:
GLaDOS
Since, I never expected you to make it this far, I have to build this new course just for you.
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
How are you? How you feeling? Wait. Don't answer that. Too much deep relaxation, what it does is it relaxes the gums. And the vibrations from talking -- on a rare occasion -- can make all of your teeth fall out of your head.
Listens:
616
Who:
Wheatley
Warning: Core corruption at 100 percent.
Listens:
6792
Who:
Announcer
Here she comes! Keep testing! Remember: you never saw me!
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
Preparing to dispense product
Listens:
2662
Who:
Turret
Go on.
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
Just a heads up: We're gonna have a superconductor turned up full blast and pointed at you for the duration of this next test. I'll be honest, we're throwing science at the wall here to see what sticks. No idea what it'll do. Probably nothing. Best-case scenario, you might get some superpowers. Worst case, some tumors, which we'll cut out.
Listens:
10650
Who:
Cave Johnson
Hurry! This way!
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
Goodbye
Listens:
8783
Who:
Turret
Good work! I'm delivering the first core up near the catwalk!
Listens:
394
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you know who dances around like an imbecile when they accomplish the tiniest little thing?
Listens:
597
Who:
GLaDOS
Allright. Preparing to interface with the neurotoxin central control circuit. Begin: 'Ello, guv! Neurotoxin inspectah! Need to shut this place down for a moment! Here's my credentials. Shut yourself down. I am totally legit. From the board of international neurotoxin... um... observers. From the United... Arab Emirates. Hello.
Listens:
3909
Who:
Wheatley
Just remember to land on one foot...
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
Wow.
Listens:
767
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah! Brilliant. You made it through, well done.
Listens:
419
Who:
Wheatley
Helloooooooooooo!
Listens:
2363
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
1156
Who:
GLaDOS
At the time of this recording, Federal disclosure policies require us to inform you that this next test is probably lethal and to redirect you to a safer test environment.
Listens:
1573
Who:
Announcer
I can't bite my tongue anymore: You could solve this puzzle faster on your own. Orange is dragging you down. There. I've said it.
Listens:
692
Who:
GLaDOS
Hellllooo, imbecile.
Listens:
4936
Who:
GLaDOS
'Lair' - heh, weird isn't it? First time I've said it out loud. Sounds a bit ridiculous, really. But I can assure you it is one. A proper lair. Deadly lair.
Listens:
1050
Who:
Wheatley
Better yet, don't say anything.
Listens:
291
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations. You're upside down now.
Listens:
689
Who:
GLaDOS
I have to agree. Blue is penalized 75 science collaboration points.
Listens:
326
Who:
GLaDOS
Nice catch, Orange.
Listens:
995
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll bet you think I forgot about your surprise. I didn't. In fact, we're headed to your surprise right now. After all these years. I'm getting choked up just thinking about it.
Listens:
723
Who:
GLaDOS
Back again!
Listens:
992
Who:
Defective Turret
Ah!
Listens:
1665
Who:
Core 1
Come on through.
Listens:
341
Who:
Wheatley
That's horrible.
Listens:
725
Who:
GLaDOS
If Orange had said those things about me, Orange would never make it to the next reassembly station.
Listens:
291
Who:
GLaDOS
Explosion imminent. Evacuate the facility immediately.
Listens:
29602
Who:
Announcer
You see that button over there? You just need to ARRRRRGH!
Listens:
635
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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