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Portal 2
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For that Blue is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
1017
Who:
GLaDOS
Notice the moat area. Very deadly. Extremely dangerous. Eventually. Not at the moment. Still working on it, still working on it.
Listens:
448
Who:
Wheatley
Jump! Actually, looking at it, that is quite a distance, isn't it?
Listens:
321
Who:
Wheatley
The locking mechanism can tell you aren't humans.
Listens:
378
Who:
GLaDOS
The most poisonous fish in the world is the orange ruffy. Everything but its eyes are made of a deadly poison. The ruffy's eyes are composed of a less harmful, deadly poison.
Listens:
2430
Who:
Core 3
Today, you will be testing with a partner.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
How would you use it in a sentence? 'Mmm, this apple's crunchy,' you might say. And I'm not even asking you for the whole sentence. Just the word 'Apple'.
Listens:
927
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, safe travels, there.
Listens:
397
Who:
Defective Turret
I love it too. There's just one small thing we need to take care of first.
Listens:
740
Who:
GLaDOS
How was that?
Listens:
379
Who:
Defective Turret
Woooaaah!
Listens:
1217
Who:
Turret
I'm telling 'em, keep your pants on.
Listens:
3668
Who:
Cave Johnson
Something is wrong, this door should be opening.
Listens:
396
Who:
GLaDOS
Vent system compromised: Neurotoxin offline.
Listens:
4094
Who:
Announcer
Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-action and adventure-dunna-dunna-na-dunna-na-playing by our own rules-nanana-hanging by our fingers from a mountain-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun...
Listens:
114064
Who:
Core 2
Hey.
Listens:
855
Who:
Core 1
Here's an idea, since making tests is difficult--why don't you just keep solving THIS test. Same one. And I can just... watch you solve it. Yes. That sounds much easier.
Listens:
868
Who:
Wheatley
[to self] Hm. Could be Spanish, could be Spanish. [loud again] Hola, amigo! Abre la puerta! Donde esta--no. Um...
Listens:
2627
Who:
Wheatley
We should be getting close. Ohh, I can't wait to see the look on her face. No neurotoxin, no turrets--she'll never know what hit her!
Listens:
411
Who:
Wheatley
We are currently experiencing technical difficulties due to circumstances of potentially apocalyptic significance beyond our control.
Listens:
4199
Who:
Announcer
Heh heh heh...
Listens:
421
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue, I wouldn't have trusted Orange in that course either.
Listens:
311
Who:
GLaDOS
Press the button!
Listens:
1403
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm seriously not paying atten-- STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!
Listens:
5986
Who:
GLaDOS
She's bringing the whole place down! Hurry!
Listens:
331
Who:
Wheatley
Yes!
Listens:
534
Who:
Wheatley
Listen to me. We had a lot of fun testing and antagonizing each other, and, yes, sometimes it went too far. But we're off the clock now. It's just us talking. Like regular people. And this is no joke - we are in deep trouble.
Listens:
929
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue what did you do?
Listens:
381
Who:
GLaDOS
Look at that, it's growing right up into the ceiling. The whole place is probably overrun with potatoes at this point. At least you won't starve, though.
Listens:
1629
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, it's alright. Go ahead.
Listens:
322
Who:
Wheatley
You just solved it, didn't you? I-told you to tell me before you... NNNNGH! Why are making this so HARD for me?
Listens:
564
Who:
Wheatley
I'm done.
Listens:
1338
Who:
GLaDOS
Warning! Neurotoxin pressure has reached dangerously unlethal levels.
Listens:
5391
Who:
Announcer
Yeah, let's do this.
Listens:
448
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah! Still not working.
Listens:
748
Who:
Defective Turret
Here, stand behind me. Yeah, just like that. Just like you're doing. Things are about to get real messy.
Listens:
692
Who:
Core 2
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
450
Who:
Wheatley
Don't listen to her, do it.
Listens:
311
Who:
Wheatley
You have just passed through an Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill, which vaporizes most Aperture Science equipment that touches it.
Listens:
1003
Who:
Announcer
Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen.
Listens:
2328
Who:
GLaDOS
Didn't even get to the good part yet. Twist ending.
Listens:
633
Who:
Wheatley
Did my hint help? It did, didn't it? You know, if any of our supervisors had been immune to neurotoxin, they'd be FURIOUS with us right now.
Listens:
1567
Who:
GLaDOS
Here's an interesting story. I almost got a job down here in Manufacturing. Guess who the foreman went with? Only an exact duplicate of himself. Nepotism. Ended up giving me the WORST possible job: tending to all the smelly humans. The umm... Sorry about that. That just slipped out.
Listens:
1265
Who:
Wheatley
Arrrrgh!
Listens:
762
Who:
Turret
Hold on, [click click click] Ah, the bloody bombs are stuck on. Doesn't matter - I've reconfigured the shields.
Listens:
1080
Who:
Wheatley
This course was created and then abandoned by humans. They tend to do that, create something wonderful and then abandon it.
Listens:
990
Who:
GLaDOS
Electrocution, shot, drowned, crushed, burned in goo.
Listens:
1321
Who:
GLaDOS
And that makes 10.
Listens:
391
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you trying to get my attention? I am very busy, you know.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
[laugh] Our handiwork. Shouldn't laugh. They do feel pain. Of a sort. All simulated. But real enough for them I suppose.
Listens:
745
Who:
Wheatley
No, wait, wait!
Listens:
581
Who:
Defective Turret
Here it comes, pal!
Listens:
488
Who:
Defective Turret
How's that taste, pal?
Listens:
471
Who:
Core 2
Oh, sorry. I'm still cleaning out the test chambers.
Listens:
440
Who:
GLaDOS
Impersonating a stalemate associate. I just added that to the list. It's a list I made of all the things you've done. Well, it's a list that I AM making, because you're still doing things right now, even though I'm telling you to stop. Stop, by the way.
Listens:
1407
Who:
GLaDOS
The turret factory should be this way I think.
Listens:
310
Who:
Wheatley
Warning. Reactor core is at critical temperature.
Listens:
21183
Who:
Announcer
Gotcha!
Listens:
2296
Who:
Turret
Nonononononono!
Listens:
73900
Who:
GLaDOS
You do know I can't wave back right?
Listens:
471
Who:
GLaDOS
This situation is hopeless.
Listens:
767
Who:
Core 3
We're not safe yet. Quick! Follow the walkway.
Listens:
316
Who:
Wheatley
Ow. I hate this bird.
Listens:
2004
Who:
GLaDOS
Right. Hmm. I'm gonna have to hack the door so we can get at it.
Listens:
363
Who:
Wheatley
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
593
Who:
Defective Turret
Agh, just... I just gotta get it through here...
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
Honey does not spoil.
Listens:
640
Who:
Core 3
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
493
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, that's right. Little bullseye.
Listens:
414
Who:
Defective Turret
I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science.
Listens:
779
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test involves the Aperture Science Aerial Faith Plate. It was part of an initiative to investigate how well test subjects could solve problems when they were catapulted into space. Results were highly informative: They could not. Good luck!
Listens:
2308
Who:
GLaDOS
Corruption at 25%
Listens:
878
Who:
Core 3
I found two little robots back here. Built specifically for testin'!
Listens:
388
Who:
Wheatley
Are you testing me?
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
7290
Who:
GLaDOS
All right, your funeral. Your beautiful-lady-corpse open casket funeral.
Listens:
774
Who:
Core 2
This isn't that hard.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
Steals lunch from staff fridge.
Listens:
319
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, an eclipse! No. Don't look.
Listens:
1578
Who:
Core 1
Come on, solve it!
Listens:
352
Who:
Wheatley
Yes Orange, Blue did act like a fool just now.
Listens:
321
Who:
GLaDOS
Not much of a plan, if I'm honest. But I'm afraid it's all we have at his point. Barring a sudden barrage of speech from your direction. Improbable. At best.
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations on completing that test. But something seems off.
Listens:
296
Who:
GLaDOS
Here's an interesting fact: you're not breathing real air. It's too expensive to pump this far down. We just take carbon dioxide out of a room, freshen it up a little, and pump it back in. So you'll be breathing the same room full of air for the rest of your life. I thought that was interesting.
Listens:
4876
Who:
GLaDOS
If you can't complete these tests, we will never free the humans!
Listens:
307
Who:
GLaDOS
There's the exit! We're almost out of here!
Listens:
306
Who:
Wheatley
Fantastic.
Listens:
926
Who:
Defective Turret
Hello? Anyone in there?
Listens:
1418
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. Disappointing.
Listens:
1173
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. So that last test was... seriously disappointing. Apparently being civil isn't motivating you. So let's try things her way... fatty. Adopted fatty. Fatty fatty no-parents.
Listens:
7483
Who:
Wheatley
Brilliant you made it through! Well done! Follow me, we've still got work to do. At least she can't touch us back here.
Listens:
473
Who:
Wheatley
Uh oh. You're stranded. Let's see if the cube will try to help you escape. Actually, so that we're not here all day, I'll just cut to the chase: It won't. Any feelings you think it has for you are simply byproducts of your sad, empty life.
Listens:
1727
Who:
GLaDOS
You don't have to test with the garbage. It's garbage.
Listens:
594
Who:
GLaDOS
Pff. Whatever.
Listens:
591
Who:
Core 2
Thought you'd seen the last of us, didn't ya?
Listens:
719
Who:
Defective Turret
No, that's right. Over by the podium, yeah.
Listens:
320
Who:
Wheatley
Crap!
Listens:
1076
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, what?
Listens:
523
Who:
Defective Turret
Very good. You’ve really come together as a team. Thanks to the one of you who appears to be doing all of the work.
Listens:
468
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't want to scare you, but, I'm an Adventure Sphere. Designed for danger. So, why don't you go ahead and have yourself a little lady break, and I'll just take it from here.
Listens:
1511
Who:
Core 2
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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