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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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BLUE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite animal.
Listens:
766
Who:
GLaDOS
Once, they even attached an Intelligence Dampening Sphere on me. It clung to my brain like a tumor, generating an endless stream of terrible ideas.
Listens:
1336
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm sorry, I don't know why that went off. Anyway, just an interesting science fact.
Listens:
1163
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, something's wrong! Neurotoxin level's up to 50%! No, it's down. Sorry, my mistake. I meant to say it's down to fifty percent. Good news! Carry on!
Listens:
568
Who:
Wheatley
Your ping tool is invaluable for communicating specific locations to your partner.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
Neurotoxin level at capacity in five minutes.
Listens:
4592
Who:
Announcer
Did I hit it? I hit it, didn't I?
Listens:
480
Who:
Defective Turret
There we go. I wanted to talk to you for a moment, if I may.
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
Crap.
Listens:
2572
Who:
Defective Turret
The Enrichment Center respects your right to have questions or concerns about this policy.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
Get dirty with this robot! This robot owes you money! This robot owes! You! Money!
Listens:
1328
Who:
Core 2
[out of breath] Okay. That's probably the bird, isn't it? That laid the eggs! Livid!
Listens:
1035
Who:
Wheatley
Over there is where they used to keep the old neurotoxin release button. BIG responsibility, the guy in charge of the neurotoxin release button. And guess who he WAS? He wasn't me. But I was his assistant, and I did a lot of his admin.
Listens:
797
Who:
Wheatley
I know things look bleak, but that crazy man down there was right. Let's not take these lemons! We are going to march right back upstairs and MAKE him put me back in my body!
Listens:
4437
Who:
GLaDOS
Response
Listens:
2835
Who:
Announcer
There. Fixed.
Listens:
530
Who:
Wheatley
Lacks confidence.
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
four
Listens:
560
Who:
GLaDOS
Coming through!
Listens:
2058
Who:
Turret
Back again? Maybe you can just stay and live here.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you two doing?
Listens:
506
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going. Going to space.
Listens:
1015
Who:
Core 1
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
988
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue! Orange has always been my favorite.
Listens:
625
Who:
GLaDOS
What a horrible little machine.
Listens:
615
Who:
GLaDOS
I never liked her.
Listens:
905
Who:
Turret
[humming]
Listens:
1841
Who:
Core 1
See that?
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
Do not press that button!
Listens:
541
Who:
Wheatley
The likelihood of you dying violently within the next five minutes is eighty-seven point six one percent.
Listens:
1469
Who:
Core 3
science collaboration points.
Listens:
757
Who:
GLaDOS
I know I'm early, but we have to go right NOW!
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
I swear I know him...
Listens:
423
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. Not on the test.
Listens:
583
Who:
GLaDOS
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
2592
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhhhhh. 'FALSE'. I'll go 'false'.
Listens:
5711
Who:
Wheatley
Let's do it again! Pick me up again!
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
Hmm. This Plate must not be calibrated to someone of your... generous... ness. I'll add a few zeros to the maximum weight.
Listens:
54338
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, so the bad news is the tests are MY tests now. So they can kill us.
Listens:
507
Who:
GLaDOS
Dental floss has superb tensile strength.
Listens:
1140
Who:
Core 3
All reactor core safeguards are now non-functional. Please prepare for reactor core meltdown.
Listens:
8915
Who:
Announcer
Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?
Listens:
471
Who:
Defective Turret
Thanks anyway...
Listens:
1174
Who:
Turret
Hey!
Listens:
856
Who:
Turret
Gently cleaning the tongue twice a day is the most effective way to fight bad breath.
Listens:
547
Who:
Core 3
Oh... can someone reassemble Orange?
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Oi oi! I'm up here!
Listens:
484
Who:
Wheatley
Not getting better with age!
Listens:
520
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm still here, I'm still working, I haven't forgotten about you!
Listens:
327
Who:
Wheatley
For that Blue is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
1015
Who:
GLaDOS
Going for it yourself, huh? All right, angel. I'll do what I can to cover you.
Listens:
592
Who:
Core 2
Go press the button! Go press it!
Listens:
1062
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay!
Listens:
427
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, let's do this.
Listens:
446
Who:
Defective Turret
Hello!
Listens:
2829
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, that's right. Little bullseye.
Listens:
413
Who:
Defective Turret
Fine, 500 point penalty for Orange.
Listens:
634
Who:
GLaDOS
Take me with you? Please?
Listens:
906
Who:
Defective Turret
I think he's getting desperate.
Listens:
300
Who:
GLaDOS
YEEEHAAAAAW!
Listens:
12437
Who:
Core 1
What's happening? Um. Hmm... Ok.
Listens:
331
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
518
Who:
Defective Turret
Anxious.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
No. Makes it go faster.
Listens:
320
Who:
Wheatley
Did you know I discovered a way to eradicate poverty? But then you KILLED me. So that's gone.
Listens:
879
Who:
GLaDOS
This is one of MY tests!
Listens:
469
Who:
GLaDOS
I think that one was about to say 'I love you.' They ARE sentient, of course. We just have a LOT of them.
Listens:
5506
Who:
GLaDOS
This time is OUR time.
Listens:
1717
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't mind me. Just moving the test chamber a little closer to me. Had a thought: Maybe proximity to the test solving might give us stronger results.
Listens:
296
Who:
Wheatley
You just solved it, didn't you? I-told you to tell me before you... NNNNGH! Why are making this so HARD for me?
Listens:
563
Who:
Wheatley
five
Listens:
566
Who:
GLaDOS
Probably.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
That's horrible.
Listens:
721
Who:
GLaDOS
Now I spy something that starts with an 'a'.
Listens:
353
Who:
Wheatley
Oh well. We have warehouses FULL of the things. Absolutely worthless. I'm happy to get rid of them.
Listens:
1007
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, well, well. Welcome to MY LAIR! Lemme just flag something up: According to the control panel light up there, the entire building's going to self destruct in about six minutes. Pretty sure it's a problem with the light. I think the light's on the blink. But just in case it isn't, I actually am going to have to kill you. As discussed earlier.
Listens:
8570
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
727
Who:
Defective Turret
Love space. Need to go to space.
Listens:
1037
Who:
Core 1
Two. One or two more tremors in there. Just for fun.
Listens:
379
Who:
Wheatley
Dang.
Listens:
660
Who:
Defective Turret
Nooooooooo...
Listens:
1618
Who:
Defective Turret
Still a work in progress, don't judge me yet. Eventually I'd like to get them to sort of shoot fire at you, moments before crushing you. That's what I'm aiming for. But you know, small steps.
Listens:
1478
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, that felt really good.
Listens:
1479
Who:
Wheatley
Just getting a test ready... For you. Obviously. Who else would I be doing it for? No one.
Listens:
327
Who:
Wheatley
I AM NOT! A MORON!
Listens:
7967
Who:
Wheatley
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
5421
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's go in!
Listens:
318
Who:
Wheatley
Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
513
Who:
Wheatley
I thought you'd be faster at this, but I can appreciate the desire to stop and smell the testing. That other scent you smell? That's the stench of my utter disappointment in you.
Listens:
1664
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you know where I was?
Listens:
309
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes.
Listens:
632
Who:
GLaDOS
Each portal gun may create two self-contained portals.
Listens:
400
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. You MIGHT want to hang onto to something. Word of advice, up to you.
Listens:
330
Who:
Wheatley
Stalemate Resolved.
Listens:
1900
Who:
Announcer
I'm sorry. The arrows seem to have rusted off. Good luck.
Listens:
1005
Who:
GLaDOS
Walk casually toward my position and we'll go shut her down.
Listens:
364
Who:
Wheatley
Quick word about the future plans that I've got in store.
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
To initiate a core transfer, please deposit substitute core in receptacle.
Listens:
1354
Who:
Announcer
Failure...
Listens:
1713
Who:
Turret
Just---if you just--okay, just stand by the podium and just look up.
Listens:
334
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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