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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Oh... can someone reassemble Blue?
Listens:
309
Who:
GLaDOS
Manual core replacement required.
Listens:
2292
Who:
Announcer
I'll give you a hint. Button. That's all I'm gonna say. One word. Button.
Listens:
436
Who:
Wheatley
I’m sorry, Subject Orange.
Listens:
457
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm starting to think giving you arms was a big mistake.
Listens:
296
Who:
GLaDOS
This was another test no one had ever completed before you two. Oh, the science we used to learn with this test. Now the test is useless.
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
Spheres that insist on going into space are inferior to spheres that don't.
Listens:
1042
Who:
Core 3
Ah for Pete's sake!
Listens:
981
Who:
Defective Turret
China produces the world's second largest crop of soybeans.
Listens:
578
Who:
Core 3
You know, deleting Caroline just now taught me a valuable lesson. The best solution to a problem is usually the easiest one. And I'll be honest.
Listens:
1623
Who:
GLaDOS
I have only met one other team closer and one of them was an imbecile I had to destroy.
Listens:
602
Who:
GLaDOS
Here, come and have a look out the window. It's good.
Listens:
306
Who:
Wheatley
For many of you, I realize 60 dollars is an unprecedented windfall, so don't go spending it all on... I don't know. Caroline, what do these people buy? Tattered hats? Beard dirt?
Listens:
2176
Who:
Cave Johnson
Don't be a stranger!
Listens:
407
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't press it! COME BACK!
Listens:
960
Who:
Wheatley
So I just wanted to give you the chance to kill yourself now. Before you get to the lair. Just, you know, jump into the masher there. Less a death trap and more a death option for you.
Listens:
1258
Who:
Wheatley
Orange, your plan is working perfectly.
Listens:
285
Who:
GLaDOS
What's that behind you? It's only a robot on a bloody stick! A different one!
Listens:
522
Who:
Wheatley
Let's go in!
Listens:
314
Who:
Wheatley
Back again!
Listens:
983
Who:
Defective Turret
Yes, I know you did that, Blue. Don't look so proud.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes indeed. Yes indeed.
Listens:
2244
Who:
Defective Turret
ahhhhEHHHHHH!
Listens:
1346
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, so, silent contemplation it is. Mysterious button... Sorry. Sorry. Silence. Do not speak. In the silence. Let the silence descend. Here it comes. One hundred percent silence. From now. By the way, if you come up with any ideas, do flag them up. Don't feel you have to stay quiet because I've said absolute silence. So if you come up with an idea, mention it. Otherwise, absolute silence starting... Now.
Listens:
1814
Who:
Wheatley
Ahh!
Listens:
1437
Who:
Turret
Deploying
Listens:
3052
Who:
Turret
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
488
Who:
GLaDOS
You two aren't lost are you?
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm kidding. Not about you trapping yourself, though. That really happened. Here, I'll lower the glass. Go on... Finish the test.
Listens:
767
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes.
Listens:
622
Who:
GLaDOS
Can't help but notice you're not coming back. Which is disappointing.
Listens:
685
Who:
Wheatley
Very impressive! Because this message is prerecorded, any comments we may make about your success are speculation on our part. Please disregard any undeserved compliments.
Listens:
1378
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no, you've got it, you've got it! Yes! Put him in there! Let's see how this place likes a crap turret.
Listens:
510
Who:
Wheatley
That worked just like you said it would, Blue.
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah. That just cleans right off, does it? Well, that would have been good to know. A little earlier.
Listens:
510
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, brilliant. You DID find a portal gun! You know what? It just goes to show: people with brain damage are the real heroes in the end aren't they? At the end of the day. Brave.
Listens:
2908
Who:
Wheatley
You should see yourselves right now.
Listens:
1358
Who:
GLaDOS
Aggh, see, now I hit that one, I hit that one...
Listens:
314
Who:
Wheatley
Anyway, just give me a wave before you solve this one, alright? Don't want to spoil the ending for when I watch it later.
Listens:
308
Who:
Wheatley
But now, looking around, seeing Aperture restored to its former glory? You don't have to worry about leaving EVER again. I mean that.
Listens:
461
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no, I'm one of the bad ones, aren't I?
Listens:
1099
Who:
Defective Turret
I don't want to alarm either of you, but we might have a tiny problem. Apparently you can't test unless you're human. Well - you CAN. It's just that, results-wise, the physical universe doesn't care.
Listens:
1161
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay casual when I tell you this: I think I smell neurotoxin.
Listens:
434
Who:
Wheatley
Come on, stop muckin' around! Plug me in!
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
Duck and weave, duck and weave! Ohh, the sweet science.
Listens:
509
Who:
Core 2
The point is: If we can store music on a compact disc, why can't we store a man's intelligence and personality on one? So I have the engineers figuring that out now.
Listens:
2033
Who:
Cave Johnson
Ooagh!
Listens:
364
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry! Sorry. My fault.
Listens:
437
Who:
Wheatley
Poor self-esteem.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
The Schrodinger's cat paradox outlines a situation in which a cat in a box must be considered, for all intents and purposes, simultaneously alive and dead. Schrodinger created this paradox as a justification for killing cats.
Listens:
8960
Who:
Core 3
And again, not playing along. You're ruining what are some really good speeches, actually.
Listens:
448
Who:
Wheatley
Hello again, this testing course was originally created for humans.
Listens:
1299
Who:
GLaDOS
This is not good.
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on. Just... March on through that hole.
Listens:
291
Who:
Wheatley
Wet blanket.
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
A gallon of water weighs 8.34 pounds
Listens:
710
Who:
Core 3
Oh!
Listens:
1346
Who:
Turret
If you were wondering how could you annoy me without failing a test. Now you know.
Listens:
314
Who:
GLaDOS
Slapping hands. That accomplishes something.
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
You've probably figured it out by now, but I don't need you anymore.
Listens:
306
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, this way
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh. Alright? I don't know whether you're picking up on what I'm saying there, but...
Listens:
346
Who:
Wheatley
I just hate Blue a little more.
Listens:
426
Who:
GLaDOS
You broke it, didn't you.
Listens:
2599
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.
Listens:
947
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I'm about to start hacking. It's a little more complicated than it looked from your side. It should take about ten minutes. Keep one eye on the door.
Listens:
789
Who:
Wheatley
Let's see what the next test is. Oh. Advanced Aerial Faith Plates.
Listens:
424
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay!
Listens:
427
Who:
Defective Turret
You know what I hope's in space? Fire. I hope you go to space and catch on fire.
Listens:
5483
Who:
Core 2
Powerup initiated.
Listens:
4717
Who:
Announcer
Have you worked out the one good trait humans have, yet?
Listens:
562
Who:
GLaDOS
I can only imagine.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
1101
Who:
GLaDOS
Blah.
Listens:
1411
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry, what?
Listens:
2240
Who:
Wheatley
Kick him! Or punch him. You're the boss, dimples.
Listens:
851
Who:
Core 2
We should be getting close. Ohh, I can't wait to see the look on her face. No neurotoxin, no turrets--she'll never know what hit her!
Listens:
405
Who:
Wheatley
Nothing. Nothing.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey.
Listens:
719
Who:
Core 1
I can't bite my tongue anymore: You could solve this puzzle faster on your own. Orange is dragging you down. There. I've said it.
Listens:
671
Who:
GLaDOS
No thanks! We're good! Appreciate it!
Listens:
373
Who:
Wheatley
Oh thank god, you're alright.
Listens:
1836
Who:
GLaDOS
No. Wait, did I do B? Do you have a pen? Start writing these down.
Listens:
453
Who:
Wheatley
Never shares.
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit.
Listens:
553
Who:
Core 3
Commence standing by in three. Two. One.
Listens:
381
Who:
GLaDOS
Not bad. I forgot how good you are at this. You should pace yourself, though. We have A LOT of tests to do.
Listens:
2467
Who:
GLaDOS
Really? Okay.
Listens:
1049
Who:
GLaDOS
There's some sort of control room up top. Let's go investigate.
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
I love space. Love space.
Listens:
1043
Who:
Core 1
Allright, test's over. You can head on back to your desk.
Listens:
1239
Who:
Cave Johnson
Alright, going on three just gives you too much time to think about it. Let's, uh, go on one this time. Okay, ready?
Listens:
334
Who:
Wheatley
I would prefer to speak to one of you in private but since that is not an option here, I will speak in code that only one of you will understand. Blue: Orange is plotting to destroy you.
Listens:
724
Who:
GLaDOS
Please do not engage with turrets heading towards redemption.
Listens:
963
Who:
Announcer
Ayeyeyeyeye
Listens:
3883
Who:
Turret
Come closer.
Listens:
684
Who:
Turret
You never considered that maybe I tested you to give the endless hours of your pointless existence some structure and meaning. Maybe to help you concentrate, so just maybe you’d think of something more worthwhile to do with your sorry life.
Listens:
2523
Who:
GLaDOS
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
5399
Who:
GLaDOS
Run! I don't need to do the voice. RUN!
Listens:
678
Who:
Wheatley
Yes Orange, Blue did act like a fool just now.
Listens:
315
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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