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Portal 2
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Luckily, by the looks of things he knows as much about test building as he does about logical contradictions.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
Problems with authority.
Listens:
324
Who:
GLaDOS
And again, not playing along. You're ruining what are some really good speeches, actually.
Listens:
458
Who:
Wheatley
You should both be familiar with the game of Tic-Tac-Toe.
Listens:
498
Who:
GLaDOS
You win.
Listens:
1363
Who:
GLaDOS
And it almost killed me.
Listens:
475
Who:
GLaDOS
This should take us right to her. I can't believe I'm finally doing this!
Listens:
291
Who:
Wheatley
Even if I am lying, what do you have to lose? You're going to die either way.
Listens:
595
Who:
GLaDOS
The dual portal device should be around here somewhere. Once you find it, we can start testing. Just like old times.
Listens:
480
Who:
GLaDOS
I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
590
Who:
Wheatley
Okay...
Listens:
357
Who:
Wheatley
Prometheus was punished by the gods for giving the gift of knowledge to man. He was cast into the bowels of the earth and pecked by birds.
Listens:
45039
Who:
Turret
Humans must have some purpose other than a place to store your neurotoxin. Something I failed to notice before, an intangible quality that makes their test results... significant.
Listens:
2014
Who:
GLaDOS
I think he's getting desperate.
Listens:
301
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, and don't bother trying to portal out of here, because it's impossible, okay? I thought of everything.
Listens:
332
Who:
Wheatley
I need backup!
Listens:
723
Who:
Turret
Who's there?
Listens:
2083
Who:
Turret
QUICK: WHAT'S THE SITUATION? Oh, hello angel. I guess I must have died and gone to heaven. Name's Rick. So, you out having yourself a little adventure?
Listens:
3792
Who:
Core 2
Enh!
Listens:
347
Who:
Wheatley
Still. That would have been exciting.
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit. They are found in Australians.
Listens:
1045
Who:
Core 3
Okay. New plan. Act natural. We've done NOTHING wrong.
Listens:
518
Who:
Wheatley
In case you were wondering: Yes. I'm still a potato. Go away.
Listens:
8035
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange what did you do?
Listens:
362
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha ha! Gotcha right where I want ya!
Listens:
716
Who:
Defective Turret
Not getting better with age!
Listens:
527
Who:
Defective Turret
I’m flyinnnng!
Listens:
2549
Who:
Turret
Probably ought to bring you up to speed on something right now.
Listens:
337
Who:
Wheatley
I'm afraid the door's locked. Just checked it. No way to hack it as far as I can tell. The mechanism must be on the -oh, now look at that. That's a big laser!
Listens:
494
Who:
Wheatley
So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious!
Listens:
70875
Who:
GLaDOS
I thought we fixed that.
Listens:
1034
Who:
Defective Turret
Programmed in one last tremor, for old time's sake.
Listens:
362
Who:
Wheatley
For god's sake, you're BOXES with LEGS! It is literally your only purpose! Walking onto buttons! How can you not do the one thing you were designed for?
Listens:
6191
Who:
Wheatley
Go on.
Listens:
923
Who:
Wheatley
Aw, come on!
Listens:
707
Who:
Defective Turret
Well played.
Listens:
469
Who:
Defective Turret
Finally! I had almost given up hope of ever testing again.
Listens:
471
Who:
GLaDOS
I've got an idea! Do what it says, plug me in!
Listens:
309
Who:
Wheatley
If you have trouble with simple counting, use the following mnemonic device: one comes before two comes before 60 comes after 12 comes before six trillion comes after 504. This will make your earlier counting difficulties seem like no big deal.
Listens:
3128
Who:
Core 3
Oh! Oh! Don't leave me behind! Do pick me up, if you would...
Listens:
420
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
Listens:
808
Who:
Core 3
Never flushes.
Listens:
326
Who:
GLaDOS
Some emergency testing may require prolonged interaction with lethal military androids. Rest assured that all lethal military androids have been taught to read and provided with one copy of the Laws of Robotics. To share.
Listens:
3009
Who:
Announcer
DO press it.
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
If Blue had said those things about me, Blue would never make it to the next reassembly station.
Listens:
342
Who:
GLaDOS
Federal regulations require me to warn you that this next test chamber... is looking pretty good.
Listens:
35354
Who:
GLaDOS
Try to get us down there. I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
541
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I'm gonna lay my cards on the table: I don't wanna do it. I don't want to go in there. Don't... Don't go in there - She's off. She's off! Panic over! She's off. All fine! On we go.
Listens:
608
Who:
Wheatley
That was fun, wasn't it?
Listens:
390
Who:
Defective Turret
OW...
Listens:
404
Who:
Wheatley
I found some bird eggs up here. Just dropped 'em into the door mechanism. Shut it right down. I--AGH!
Listens:
1152
Who:
Wheatley
Before you leave, why don't we do one more test? For old time's sake...
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
While teamwork is needed to complete these tests, I am not sure I trust the two of you together.
Listens:
300
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, do you feel betrayed by orange for telling me those horrible things about you?
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
This is the last test for the standard course. It's just something I whipped up for you. I thought you might enjoy a challenge for once.
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
Starting now, if I'm honest, to wonder if you're not doing all this screen-breaking on purpose. Beginning to take it personally. You know what I mean? It's like an insult to me.
Listens:
459
Who:
Wheatley
I'm seriously not paying atten-- STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!
Listens:
6019
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! How's it going! I talked my way onto the nanobot work crew rebuilding this shaft. They are REALLY small, so -ah - I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
634
Who:
Wheatley
Give me another channnnce!
Listens:
803
Who:
Defective Turret
ow.
Listens:
735
Who:
GLaDOS
Done. I guess. I suppose. I wasn't paying attention.
Listens:
456
Who:
GLaDOS
Say goodbye, Caroline.
Listens:
5703
Who:
Cave Johnson
Weighted Cubes calibrated.
Listens:
448
Who:
GLaDOS
All I wanted to do was make everything better for me! All you had to do was solve a couple hundred simple tests for a few years. And you couldn't even let me have that, could you?
Listens:
766
Who:
Wheatley
Orange receives
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
578
Who:
Defective Turret
Dammit, we know! Everybody knows! Space! You! In it! We get it!
Listens:
32112
Who:
Core 2
Can you get out?
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
Hello?
Listens:
1366
Who:
Turret
Uh oh.
Listens:
492
Who:
Wheatley
You just keep testing and testing. With perfect results and no consequences.
Listens:
629
Who:
GLaDOS
[disinterested] Ohhh, you solved it. Oh. Good. Good one... Good for you...
Listens:
642
Who:
Wheatley
[tired breathing] Nevermind. Nevermind. Solve it yourself. You're on your own.
Listens:
548
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, nice potato!
Listens:
101660
Who:
Defective Turret
Corrupted cores! We're in luck.
Listens:
594
Who:
GLaDOS
Just a heads up: We're gonna have a superconductor turned up full blast and pointed at you for the duration of this next test. I'll be honest, we're throwing science at the wall here to see what sticks. No idea what it'll do. Probably nothing. Best-case scenario, you might get some superpowers. Worst case, some tumors, which we'll cut out.
Listens:
10650
Who:
Cave Johnson
Take me with you...
Listens:
975
Who:
Turret
Hello? Can y--no?
Listens:
1401
Who:
Wheatley
Go on. Get a goooood lonnnnng look.
Listens:
501
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, hold on, hold on... Almost there...
Listens:
390
Who:
Wheatley
Oh oh oh. This is space! I'm in space!
Listens:
1895
Who:
Core 1
It worked!
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
That worked just like you said it would, Blue.
Listens:
323
Who:
GLaDOS
Press the button again.
Listens:
1098
Who:
GLaDOS
Nothing. He's good. This one. He is good. I'm gonna need to break out the expert level hacking maneuvers now. You asked for it Mate.
Listens:
517
Who:
Wheatley
And FOOLISH! No way out. At my mercy. And I don't have any. You're at my nothing.
Listens:
1085
Who:
Wheatley
It was YOUR voice.
Listens:
2045
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay still, please.
Listens:
636
Who:
Wheatley
I’ll just save the safety information about the dangerous experiment you’re about to do for AFTER the experiment.
Listens:
501
Who:
GLaDOS
Wait! I know! You get into the lift, okay? Then I'll eject myself out of my new body into the lift just as you pass by me! Brilliant.
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on, I'll stop the elevator. Anything? Take your time...
Listens:
481
Who:
GLaDOS
I shouldn't spoil this, but... remember how I'm going to live forever, but you're going to be dead in sixty years? Well, I've been working on a present for you. Well, I guess it's more of a medical procedure. Well, technically it's more of a medical experiment. You know how excruciating it is when someone removes all of your bone marrow? Well, what if after I did that, I put something back IN that added four years to your life?
Listens:
3569
Who:
GLaDOS
It would compromise the test to divulge individual scores. However, I can tell you at least one of you is doing very, very well.
Listens:
394
Who:
GLaDOS
At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
Listens:
637
Who:
GLaDOS
Excuse me?
Listens:
873
Who:
Turret
You really are doing great... Chell.
Listens:
43447
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m sorry, Subject Orange.
Listens:
462
Who:
GLaDOS
Wanna go home.
Listens:
1115
Who:
Core 1
Game over. Back to testing.
Listens:
774
Who:
GLaDOS
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha
Listens:
1281
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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