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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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Ohhh, not now!
Listens:
530
Who:
Defective Turret
Chronic anxiety. Oh, I can work with that.
Listens:
435
Who:
GLaDOS
That's where YOU come in.
Listens:
956
Who:
GLaDOS
It flew off.
Listens:
406
Who:
GLaDOS
Malfunctioning
Listens:
1297
Who:
Turret
Good. You have a dual portal device. There should be a way back to the testing area up ahead.
Listens:
496
Who:
GLaDOS
Um. 'TRUE'. I'll go 'true'.
Listens:
20613
Who:
Wheatley
If groups of hunter-gatherers appear to have made this - or any - test chamber their home, DO NOT AGITATE THEM. Test through them.
Listens:
462
Who:
GLaDOS
Luckily, by the looks of things he knows as much about test building as he does about logical contradictions.
Listens:
342
Who:
GLaDOS
And she will probably kill us if, um, she's awake.
Listens:
422
Who:
Wheatley
I love space.
Listens:
1047
Who:
Core 1
Space!
Listens:
1349
Who:
Core 1
Your test times show you are going too slowly.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
Good news! I can use this equipment to shut down the neurotoxin system. It is, however, password protected. AH! Alarm bells! No. Don't worry. Not a problem for me.
Listens:
573
Who:
Wheatley
Space space wanna go to space
Listens:
2312
Who:
Core 1
Always sleeping.
Listens:
555
Who:
GLaDOS
According to Norse legend, thunder god Thor's chariot was pulled across the sky by two goats.
Listens:
829
Who:
Core 3
I talked my way onto the nanobot work crew rebuilding this shaft. They're REALLY small, so they have very tiny little brains. But there're a billion of 'em, so it's only a matter of time until ONE of them notices I'm the size of a planet.
Listens:
981
Who:
Wheatley
Look down. Who's that, down there, talking? It's me! Down on the floor. Needing you to pick me up.
Listens:
464
Who:
Wheatley
You might want to notice the moat area... rather large. Not to mention deadly. [laughs]
Listens:
419
Who:
Wheatley
It's a paradox! There IS no answer.
Listens:
5090
Who:
GLaDOS
You can't fire me I quit!
Listens:
3938
Who:
Defective Turret
Goodnight
Listens:
5945
Who:
Turret
This is a bad plan. You will fail.
Listens:
1867
Who:
Core 3
Hold on! The neurotoxin levels are going down.
Listens:
375
Who:
Wheatley
Whee!
Listens:
2270
Who:
Turret
Allright. Preparing to interface with the neurotoxin central control circuit. Begin: 'Ello, guv! Neurotoxin inspectah! Need to shut this place down for a moment! Here's my credentials. Shut yourself down. I am totally legit. From the board of international neurotoxin... um... observers. From the United... Arab Emirates. Hello.
Listens:
3911
Who:
Wheatley
Oh thank god, you're alright.
Listens:
1852
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't do it.
Listens:
715
Who:
GLaDOS
You have a gift for these tests. That’s not just flattery. You are great at science.
Listens:
882
Who:
GLaDOS
Chews with mouth open.
Listens:
335
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
1130
Who:
GLaDOS
Every time you fail, it's a reminder of the way things used to be. But then there you are. Again. Like nothing happened.
Listens:
487
Who:
GLaDOS
Loves sound of own voice. Well, I can fix that.
Listens:
1099
Who:
GLaDOS
Destroying them is part of the test. They are no more important to you than you are to me.
Listens:
435
Who:
GLaDOS
Most test subjects do experience some cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension. Now you've been under for... quite a lot longer, and it's not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage.
Listens:
5294
Who:
Wheatley
I didn't mean to make you feel bad earlier about your tests not being real science. I guess finding out they weren't science was some sort of test in and of itself.
Listens:
347
Who:
GLaDOS
Come on, sweetie! He's got a glass jaw! He's got a glass everything! This guy's a china cabinet!
Listens:
755
Who:
Core 2
Excellent. I think you have earned a break from the official testing courses.
Listens:
385
Who:
GLaDOS
Owwwww!
Listens:
1439
Who:
Turret
Blue, that transpired just as you said it would.
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
One: No portal surfaces.
Listens:
1057
Who:
Wheatley
Now, if you're part of Control Group Kepler-Seven, we implanted a tiny microchip about the size of a postcard into your skull. Most likely you've forgotten it's even there, but if it starts vibrating and beeping during this next test, let us know, because that means it's about to hit five hundred degrees, so we're gonna need to go ahead and get that out of you pretty fast.
Listens:
3927
Who:
Cave Johnson
Stalemate Resolved.
Listens:
1918
Who:
Announcer
You have excellent aim!
Listens:
740
Who:
Turret
eight
Listens:
596
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, how well do you really know Orange? Do you trust Orange? What if I told you, you aren't Orange's first cooperative partner?
Listens:
474
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome back quitters, maybe you can find another course for you to fail.
Listens:
611
Who:
GLaDOS
Agggh, not again!
Listens:
573
Who:
Defective Turret
Sorry. That just slipped out. A bit insensitive. Umm... The smelly humans...
Listens:
571
Who:
Wheatley
I hope you brought something stronger than a portal gun this time.
Listens:
1300
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center. You have unlocked all available courses.
Listens:
3095
Who:
Announcer
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
7307
Who:
GLaDOS
So whatever you're doing, keep doing it!
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
I was confident you could finish.
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
Blabbermouth.
Listens:
472
Who:
GLaDOS
Now it's broken turret's time to shine!
Listens:
3649
Who:
Defective Turret
Welcome, gentlemen, to Aperture Science. Astronauts, war heroes, Olympians--you're here because we want the best, and you are it. So: Who is ready to make some science?
Listens:
4425
Who:
Cave Johnson
They're not even your screens to break. It's vandalism. It's pure vandalism. You wouldn't do this if this was your house, would you? If I came around to your house smashin' your telly to bits, you'd be furious. And rightly so. Unbelievable.
Listens:
986
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah... Made this test myself. Out of some smaller tests. That I found. Lying around.
Listens:
334
Who:
Wheatley
Neurotoxin level at capacity in five minutes.
Listens:
4635
Who:
Announcer
Hello again, this testing course was originally created for humans.
Listens:
1315
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes sir, Mister Johnson.
Listens:
1642
Who:
Caroline
I'm gonna make you proud!
Listens:
700
Who:
Defective Turret
Love space. Need to go to space.
Listens:
1045
Who:
Core 1
Blue is first to acquire a Portal Device.
Listens:
399
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry, we're closed
Listens:
2099
Who:
Turret
I don't want this!
Listens:
19536
Who:
Caroline
Go on. Get in.
Listens:
338
Who:
Wheatley
So much space. Need to see it all.
Listens:
1927
Who:
Core 1
You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, look up at the ceiling. [BUZZER]
Listens:
3116
Who:
Announcer
It's perfect. Except for all the glass hitting us when I smash through the lift, that's a bit of a problem.
Listens:
308
Who:
Wheatley
Um.
Listens:
543
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm trouble.
Listens:
383
Who:
Defective Turret
The photos weren't as popular as we had hoped, so we repurposed the cameras.
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations on completing that test. But something seems off.
Listens:
301
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh... can someone reassemble Orange?
Listens:
302
Who:
GLaDOS
Space space wanna go to space
Listens:
1034
Who:
Core 1
Vent system compromised: Neurotoxin offline.
Listens:
4119
Who:
Announcer
Ah, come on!
Listens:
465
Who:
Defective Turret
Orange, it's not nice to make fun of Blue like that.
Listens:
347
Who:
GLaDOS
You may as well have a little rest, actually, while I work on it.
Listens:
319
Who:
Wheatley
You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
Listens:
576
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, I certainly expected more from you.
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
I agree, Orange. That was entertaining.
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
You're okay! Great! Come on!
Listens:
319
Who:
Wheatley
That's another fifty point penalty.
Listens:
623
Who:
GLaDOS
Each portal gun may create two self-contained portals.
Listens:
406
Who:
GLaDOS
YES! I KNEW someone was alive in here!
Listens:
403
Who:
Wheatley
Aggressive. I like that.
Listens:
927
Who:
GLaDOS
We've had some times, haven't we? Like that time I jumped off my management rail, not sure if I'd die or not when I did, and all you had to do was catch me? Annnd you didn't. Did you? Ohhhh. You remember that? I remember that. I remember that all the time.
Listens:
893
Who:
Wheatley
You are going to die in this room.
Listens:
777
Who:
Core 3
Are you alright back there? Here, I'll turn the beam off.
Listens:
709
Who:
Wheatley
[Laughter]
Listens:
5902
Who:
GLaDOS
What happened? What, what, what have you put onto me? What is that?
Listens:
544
Who:
Wheatley
You know what? I think we're well past the point of tasteful restraint. So I'll tell you: they all died. Horrifically. Trying to get that portal device that you're gripping in your meaty little fingers there.
Listens:
743
Who:
Wheatley
Your business is appreciated
Listens:
1059
Who:
Turret
Orange, do you feel betrayed by Blue for telling me those horrible things about you?
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
Look at you. Dancing.
Listens:
717
Who:
GLaDOS
[laugh]
Listens:
41532
Who:
Cave Johnson
00:00 / 00:00
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