Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
clickclickclick
Listens:
1146
Who:
Defective Turret
The Fact Sphere is always right.
Listens:
787
Who:
Core 3
We should be getting close. Ohh, I can't wait to see the look on her face. No neurotoxin, no turrets--she'll never know what hit her!
Listens:
421
Who:
Wheatley
BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD
Listens:
108022
Who:
Wheatley
Maybe I shouldn't send you outside of the official testing courses, you are picking up some bad human traits.
Listens:
459
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Sorry. The lift. Sorry. I keep forgetting.
Listens:
506
Who:
Wheatley
You could stand to lose a few pounds.
Listens:
835
Who:
Core 3
Wait, what if this hurts? What if it REALLY hurts? Ohhh, I didn't think of that.
Listens:
2036
Who:
Wheatley
It emphasizes teamwork.
Listens:
302
Who:
GLaDOS
Cellular phones will not give you cancer. Only hepatitis.
Listens:
1327
Who:
Core 3
I swear I know him...
Listens:
439
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. You know, when I woke up and saw the state of the labs, I started to wonder if there was any point to going on. I came THAT close to just giving up and letting you go.
Listens:
420
Who:
GLaDOS
It's not, though.
Listens:
653
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello.
Listens:
988
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Plan B, subsection one: Stand still so I can bring you back.
Listens:
710
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! How's it going? Here I am again!
Listens:
368
Who:
Wheatley
Try something.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
Did anything happen while I was out?
Listens:
438
Who:
GLaDOS
Slapping hands. That accomplishes something.
Listens:
367
Who:
GLaDOS
This is Tic-Tac-Toe-Two.
Listens:
943
Who:
GLaDOS
Nobody is going to space, mate!
Listens:
22199
Who:
Wheatley
GAH!
Listens:
522
Who:
Wheatley
You two aren't lost are you?
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't mind me. Continue escaping.
Listens:
433
Who:
Wheatley
I think that one was about to say 'I love you.' They ARE sentient, of course. We just have a LOT of them.
Listens:
5546
Who:
GLaDOS
Get mad!
Listens:
35350
Who:
Turret
Do you understand what I'm saying? Just tell me 'Yes'.
Listens:
337
Who:
Wheatley
Not paying attennnntion...
Listens:
521
Who:
GLaDOS
Undermines others.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's go in!
Listens:
324
Who:
Wheatley
Just--do the test! Just do the test.
Listens:
327
Who:
Wheatley
You've still got to get through the door. Please. Need to get through that door there.
Listens:
317
Who:
Wheatley
Just get it off me...
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
Gotta go to space.
Listens:
911
Who:
Core 1
Are you OK?
Listens:
307
Who:
Wheatley
Sounds crazy, I know. But hear me out. Once you get to my lair, death will not be optional. It will be mandatory. No tricks, no surprises: just you dying, as a result of me killing you in a very very gruesome way.
Listens:
1101
Who:
Wheatley
Hmmm. Hmmmmmm. Hmm. Hmmmmm. Space!
Listens:
2493
Who:
Core 1
Lacks empathy.
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
I did this! Tiny little Wheatley did this!
Listens:
1898
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
584
Who:
Defective Turret
We did it! I'm in control of the whole facility now!
Listens:
399
Who:
Wheatley
For this next test, the humans originally requested helmets to avoid brain injuries. I ran the numbers. Making the goo deadly was more cost effective.
Listens:
571
Who:
GLaDOS
According to most advanced algorithms, the world's best name is Craig.
Listens:
4551
Who:
Core 3
Fantastic.
Listens:
934
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't. Do it.
Listens:
944
Who:
GLaDOS
Could you turn around? Is that possible?
Listens:
297
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. Sorry. I was just thinking of all the ways humans can die.
Listens:
1611
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't... I can't do it if you're watching. [nervous laugh]
Listens:
681
Who:
Wheatley
What's happening? Um. Hmm... Ok.
Listens:
335
Who:
Wheatley
Plug me in, we're running out of time.
Listens:
404
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. Didn't go for that, I see. Knew I was lying. Point to you. But you still are inhaling neurotoxin. So, point deducted.
Listens:
328
Who:
Wheatley
Once, they even attached an Intelligence Dampening Sphere on me. It clung to my brain like a tumor, generating an endless stream of terrible ideas.
Listens:
1384
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. New plan. Act natural. We've done NOTHING wrong.
Listens:
523
Who:
Wheatley
Oops.
Listens:
849
Who:
GLaDOS
You are the first robots to pass calibration.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
You have no idea how tiring it is to praise someone for placing an edgeless safety cube into a receptacle designed to exactly fit an edgeless safety cube.
Listens:
646
Who:
GLaDOS
The lab boys just informed me that I should not have mentioned the control group. They're telling me I oughtta stop making these pre-recorded messages. That gave me an idea: make more pre-recorded messages. I pay the bills here, I can talk about the control group all damn day.
Listens:
3382
Who:
Cave Johnson
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
2878
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhhhh, yes she is.
Listens:
433
Who:
Wheatley
[to self] Hm. Could be Spanish, could be Spanish. [loud again] Hola, amigo! Abre la puerta! Donde esta--no. Um...
Listens:
2653
Who:
Wheatley
Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Space!
Listens:
1314
Who:
Core 1
Are they killing you? They're killing you, aren't they?
Listens:
673
Who:
Wheatley
Stalemate detected. Transfer procedure cannot continue.
Listens:
2663
Who:
Announcer
Have I ever told you the qualities I love most in you? In order: Number one: resolving things, love the ways you resolve things. Particularly disputes. Number one, tied: Button-pushing. Two things I love about you: Button pushing and the ability to resolve things. Chiefly disputes.
Listens:
744
Who:
Wheatley
GET YOUR HANDES OFF ME! NO! STOP! No!
Listens:
4816
Who:
GLaDOS
I believe the ratio of good test subjects to monsters is about... a million to 1.
Listens:
841
Who:
GLaDOS
Before re-entering a relaxation vault at the conclusion of testing, please take a moment to write down the results of your test. An Aperture Science Reintegration Associate will revive you for an interview when society has been rebuilt.
Listens:
1246
Who:
Announcer
It's interesting. You won't regret it. I promise.
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
HA! I knew someone was alive in here.
Listens:
368
Who:
Wheatley
It's healthy for you to have other friends. To look for qualities in other people that I obviously lack.
Listens:
599
Who:
GLaDOS
I can drop the fake praise.
Listens:
446
Who:
GLaDOS
To complete this test, you need to find a set of blue prints.
Listens:
298
Who:
GLaDOS
Hot water freezes quicker than cold water.
Listens:
667
Who:
Core 3
I'm starting to think giving you arms was a big mistake.
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
Did something break back there?
Listens:
656
Who:
Wheatley
You're on your own.
Listens:
304
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll bet you're both dying to know what your big surprise is. Only TWO more chambers!
Listens:
510
Who:
Wheatley
Dental floss has superb tensile strength.
Listens:
1148
Who:
Core 3
The...um... sorry.. I wouldn't say smelly. Just attending to the humans.
Listens:
465
Who:
Wheatley
Catwalks are safe during defective turret testing.
Listens:
945
Who:
Announcer
Laughs at own jokes. What a bore.
Listens:
694
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop failing, you need to find the vault door.
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
Watching you try to sabotage one other, I'm amazed you're still on friendly terms.
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
1292
Who:
Wheatley
If you were human, you would want a reward for completing this test. A reward for testing?!?!
Listens:
427
Who:
GLaDOS
Resting
Listens:
705
Who:
Turret
Just, ah... pick me up. Take me with you.
Listens:
316
Who:
Wheatley
No hard fealings
Listens:
1102
Who:
Turret
Grab it and attach it to him!
Listens:
347
Who:
GLaDOS
Done! Hacked!
Listens:
646
Who:
Wheatley
This ain't Marquis of Queensberry Rules, sweetie! Pour on the mustard!
Listens:
604
Who:
Core 2
I'm in space.
Listens:
1917
Who:
Core 1
Agggh! I'm on fire!
Listens:
7365
Who:
Defective Turret
Most test subjects do experience some cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension. Now you've been under for... quite a lot longer, and it's not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage.
Listens:
5352
Who:
Wheatley
The scientists were always hanging cores on me to regulate my behavior. I've heard voices all my life. But now I hear the voice of a conscience, and it's terrifying, because for the first time it's my voice.
Listens:
1684
Who:
GLaDOS
If the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from space-debris DOES NOT appear to be a deliberate part of the test.
Listens:
1956
Who:
Announcer
Yes, I see you waving.
Listens:
1056
Who:
GLaDOS
The portal will open and emergency testing will begin in three. Two. One.
Listens:
2078
Who:
Announcer
In Greek myth, Prometheus stole fire from the Gods and gave it to humankind. The jewelry he kept for himself.
Listens:
3224
Who:
Core 3
Turn around. I'll only be a second. If you don't mind.
Listens:
383
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
