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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Original Order
Random
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Never completes work.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on!
Listens:
280
Who:
Wheatley
The irony is that you were almost at the last test.
Listens:
487
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhhh, have you got an idea?
Listens:
277
Who:
Wheatley
Blue is first to acquire a Portal Device.
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
Powerup complete.
Listens:
3653
Who:
Announcer
Good Job.
Listens:
679
Who:
GLaDOS
Is it the lack of mirrors in test chambers that encourages you to do this?
Listens:
278
Who:
GLaDOS
There's a star. There's another one. Star. Star star star. Star.
Listens:
1594
Who:
Core 1
Exactly how painful are we tAGHHHHHH!
Listens:
1236
Who:
Wheatley
You will be dead soon.
Listens:
855
Who:
Core 3
Calibrating Orange's weight...
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah!
Listens:
1650
Who:
Core 1
Come to gloat?
Listens:
370
Who:
GLaDOS
First thing I noticed about you: 'Now there's a lady who could resolve any button-based disputes,' I thought. A diamond in the rough, if you will--a a bloody natural. A born dispute resolution advisor in need of a button.
Listens:
540
Who:
Wheatley
Yes Orange, we are alone. Blue can't hear you.
Listens:
312
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh, no. The turbines again. I have to go. Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version.
Listens:
1037
Who:
GLaDOS
This is one of MY tests!
Listens:
431
Who:
GLaDOS
Dang!
Listens:
532
Who:
Defective Turret
Good news: that is NOT a docking station. So there's one mystery solved. I'm going to attempt a manual override on this wall. Could get a bit technical! Hold on!
Listens:
1184
Who:
Wheatley
Try to jump across.
Listens:
289
Who:
Wheatley
Moves lips while reading.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
Good news is, the lab boys say the symptoms of asbestos poisoning show a median latency of forty-four point six years, so if you're thirty or older, you're laughing. Worst case scenario, you miss out on a few rounds of canasta, plus you forwarded the cause of science by three centuries. I punch those numbers into my calculator, it makes a happy face.
Listens:
21833
Who:
Cave Johnson
Bring your daughter to work day. That did not end well.
Listens:
658
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere.
Listens:
809
Who:
Core 3
If you were wondering how could you annoy me without failing a test. Now you know.
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah! Still not working.
Listens:
725
Who:
Defective Turret
I'll be honest, I might have heard that one before, though. Sort of cheating.
Listens:
372
Who:
Wheatley
Hey.
Listens:
994
Who:
Core 1
Go! Go go go!
Listens:
280
Who:
Wheatley
You know who ended up, do you know who ended up taking her down in the end? You're not going to believe this. A human.
Listens:
288
Who:
Wheatley
Really? You’re just going to blatantly cheat?
Listens:
681
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't worry. You can't die. They will just reassemble you.
Listens:
399
Who:
GLaDOS
Just say 'Apple'. Classic. Very simple.
Listens:
809
Who:
Wheatley
Well, how about now? NOW WHO'S A MORON?
Listens:
1958
Who:
Wheatley
Who's there?
Listens:
2050
Who:
Turret
Hey, where are we goingNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Listens:
3878
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh, good. My slow clap processor made it into this thing. So we have that.
Listens:
54639
Who:
GLaDOS
The locking mechanism can tell you aren't humans.
Listens:
342
Who:
GLaDOS
Tell it to the bad guy. Maybe you'll make him so bored his brain'll explode.
Listens:
570
Who:
Core 2
I am not sure how I can make these tests any easier for you.
Listens:
280
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm gonna make you proud!
Listens:
674
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh there goes another one. They're not Inexpensive. I'd just like to point that out. It seems unfair to smash screens. You could give them to people. Instead of smashing them, unscrew them and give them to a homeless person. I don't know what a homeless person would do with one. But you get my point. And you can't unscrew them, they're bolted in. But - just stop it!
Listens:
1327
Who:
Wheatley
Try to avoid the garbage hurtling towards you.
Listens:
581
Who:
GLaDOS
Now I spy something that starts with an 'a'.
Listens:
331
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, is there something you would like to say?
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I tried.
Listens:
404
Who:
Defective Turret
Come on, you've already solved it once. Less than a minute ago you solved this puzzle. Do it again, please.
Listens:
860
Who:
Wheatley
Error. Error. Error. File not found.
Listens:
1308
Who:
Core 3
SPAAACE!
Listens:
51080
Who:
Core 1
Hold on! I thought I fixed that.
Listens:
619
Who:
Wheatley
Very good. You’ve really come together as a team. Thanks to the one of you who appears to be doing all of the work.
Listens:
452
Who:
GLaDOS
Well. This is the part where he kills us.
Listens:
1626
Who:
GLaDOS
Before the Wright Brothers invented the airplane, anyone wanting to fly anywhere was required to eat 200 pounds of helium.
Listens:
1107
Who:
Core 3
Yeah, it's alright. Go ahead.
Listens:
313
Who:
Wheatley
In case you are worried about the humans, don't be. They aren't all monsters.
Listens:
1773
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Hey! Up here!
Listens:
334
Who:
Wheatley
So that's a complete reassembly. New vitals. Spit-shine on the old ones. Plus we're scooping out tumors. Frankly, you oughtta be paying us.
Listens:
1699
Who:
Cave Johnson
Oops. You trapped yourself. I guess that's it then. Thanks for testing. You may as well lie down and get acclimated to the being dead position.
Listens:
1463
Who:
GLaDOS
Nonononononono!
Listens:
6895
Who:
Defective Turret
GET YOUR HANDES OFF ME! NO! STOP! No!
Listens:
4662
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, quick recap: We are escaping! That's what's happening now: we're escaping. So you're doing great. Just keep running!
Listens:
318
Who:
Wheatley
Stop doing that! All you need to do is open the Vault door!
Listens:
383
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
2239
Who:
Turret
Sollllve it...
Listens:
317
Who:
Wheatley
You're doing great!
Listens:
437
Who:
Core 2
The surge of emotion that shot through me when I saved your life taught me an even more valuable lesson: where Caroline lives in my brain.
Listens:
1336
Who:
GLaDOS
In order to ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled.
Listens:
468
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's go in!
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
That is a potato battery. It's a toy for children. And now she lives in it.
Listens:
3691
Who:
Wheatley
I just thought you find that interesting, most winners do.
Listens:
333
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay!
Listens:
421
Who:
Defective Turret
I have a surprise waiting for you after this next test. Telling you would spoil the surprise, so I'll just give you a hint: It involves meeting two people you haven't seen in a long time.
Listens:
853
Who:
GLaDOS
Almost there...
Listens:
285
Who:
Wheatley
Does it actually make you feel good when you do that? Because it's not impressive. Noone's impressed. It's just glass, isn't it. Fragile. A baby could smash one of them. It's not impressive.
Listens:
688
Who:
Wheatley
Again, though, for the moment: RUN!
Listens:
401
Who:
Wheatley
You know, I'd tell you if I were dead. Courtesy. Mark of a civil society. So, just let me know.
Listens:
427
Who:
Wheatley
Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center.
Listens:
9065
Who:
GLaDOS
Pleased to meetcha.
Listens:
931
Who:
Defective Turret
Did you know that people with guilty consciences are more easily startled by loud noises--[train horn]--
Listens:
35056
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I'm in space!
Listens:
373453
Who:
Core 1
This situation is hopeless.
Listens:
743
Who:
Core 3
Your failure brings back such wonderful memories.
Listens:
662
Who:
GLaDOS
Space!
Listens:
2871
Who:
Core 1
Go on, just walk up to the window and take a look out.
Listens:
313
Who:
Wheatley
I can't move, though. That's the problem now.
Listens:
902
Who:
Wheatley
Oh thank god, you're alright.
Listens:
1823
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah. I tell ya. Humans. Love 'em. Just... The way they look is great. And their... folklore. Wonderful isn't it? Very colorful...
Listens:
926
Who:
Wheatley
It's... It's moving up.
Listens:
285
Who:
Wheatley
The way you two just gave up on that test together shows you are really working as a team.
Listens:
283
Who:
GLaDOS
One minute ago. Less than one minute ago you solved this puzzle. Now you're having problems.
Listens:
743
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! But when I DO test... ohhhhh, man alive! Nothing feels better. It's just... why I've gotta test, I've gotta test!
Listens:
1816
Who:
Wheatley
Run!
Listens:
474
Who:
Wheatley
ahhhhEHHHHHH!
Listens:
1317
Who:
Wheatley
Aw... hates Mondays.
Listens:
1601
Who:
GLaDOS
The engineers tried everything to make me... behave. To slow me down.
Listens:
873
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
696
Who:
Wheatley
That jumpsuit you're wearing looks stupid. That's not me talking, it's right here in your file. On other people it looks fine, but right here a scientist has noted that on you it looks 'stupid.'
Listens:
2623
Who:
GLaDOS
This place is self-destructing, you idiot!
Listens:
757
Who:
GLaDOS
How is this even science, without the possibility of death?
Listens:
617
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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