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Portal 2
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TF2 Music
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Federal Superfund regulations require us to inform you that you must now leave the theater, as measuring the effects of asbestos-lined promotional clothing is not part of today's presentation. Enjoy your free t-shirt. Goodbye.
Listens:
4988
Who:
GLaDOS
Man, that clock is moving fast. And you are beautiful. Always time to compliment a pretty lady. All right, back to work. Let's do this.
Listens:
757
Who:
Core 2
Well, what does a neck-bearded old engineer know about fashion? He probably - Oh, wait. It's a she. Still, what does she know? Oh wait, it says she has a medical degree. In fashion! From France!
Listens:
4596
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, listen, let me lay something on you here. It's pretty heavy. They told me NEVER NEVER EVER to disengage myself from my Management Rail. Or I would DIE. But we're out of options here. So... get ready to catch me, alright, on the off chance that I'm not dead the moment I pop off this thing.
Listens:
960
Who:
Wheatley
Hell, put her in my computer. I don't care.
Listens:
1670
Who:
Cave Johnson
There is a box part here. Probably got some electronics in there.
Listens:
298
Who:
Wheatley
Woah! Where are we? How long have I been out?
Listens:
691
Who:
GLaDOS
Calibrating Orange's weight...
Listens:
329
Who:
GLaDOS
I have a surprise waiting for you after this next test. Telling you would spoil the surprise, so I'll just give you a hint: It involves meeting two people you haven't seen in a long time.
Listens:
912
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. You know, when I woke up and saw the state of the labs, I started to wonder if there was any point to going on. I came THAT close to just giving up and letting you go.
Listens:
417
Who:
GLaDOS
Annnnd off we go!
Listens:
370
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, so, silent contemplation it is. Mysterious button... Sorry. Sorry. Silence. Do not speak. In the silence. Let the silence descend. Here it comes. One hundred percent silence. From now. By the way, if you come up with any ideas, do flag them up. Don't feel you have to stay quiet because I've said absolute silence. So if you come up with an idea, mention it. Otherwise, absolute silence starting... Now.
Listens:
1858
Who:
Wheatley
Don't like space. Don't like space.
Listens:
3881
Who:
Core 1
Alright, get moving.
Listens:
326
Who:
Wheatley
For many of you, I realize 60 dollars is an unprecedented windfall, so don't go spending it all on... I don't know. Caroline, what do these people buy? Tattered hats? Beard dirt?
Listens:
2232
Who:
Cave Johnson
I'll be honest, I might have heard that one before, though. Sort of cheating.
Listens:
389
Who:
Wheatley
This test is so outside the box, I can't-- I mean WON'T even tell you what you are looking for.
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. Hi.
Listens:
2358
Who:
GLaDOS
You may as well have a little rest, actually, while I work on it.
Listens:
324
Who:
Wheatley
Chronically late.
Listens:
372
Who:
GLaDOS
The lock is looking for two humans.
Listens:
400
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m sorry, Subject Blue.
Listens:
466
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue is awarded five points!
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
Not bad. I forgot how good you are at this. You should pace yourself, though. We have A LOT of tests to do.
Listens:
2530
Who:
GLaDOS
Hot water freezes quicker than cold water.
Listens:
665
Who:
Core 3
All right, you know what, it's gonna be best if you can get him to say something first. It's just better if I have a set-up.
Listens:
440
Who:
Core 2
This way! This way!
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
Estás usando este software de traducción de forma incorrecta. Por favor, consulta el manual.
Listens:
7567
Who:
Wheatley
She probably deserved it.
Listens:
868
Who:
Turret
Come on, stop muckin' around! Plug me in!
Listens:
311
Who:
Wheatley
Are you... are you sure you're solving these correctly?
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
Look at you. Sailing through the air majestically. Like an eagle. Piloting a blimp.
Listens:
11365
Who:
GLaDOS
This is.... yeah. Ummm. Hm. Okay. Don't want to alarm you, but if you've got a plan, of any kind, now would be a great time for us to switch to your plan.
Listens:
602
Who:
Wheatley
Facial grimacing.
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you have a gun? Because I should really have a gun. What is that thing you're holding?
Listens:
602
Who:
Core 2
Plug me in, we're running out of time.
Listens:
403
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, that's funny, is it? Because we've been at this twelve hours and you haven't solved it either, so I don't know why you're laughing.
Listens:
964
Who:
Wheatley
Come on, you've already solved it once. Less than a minute ago you solved this puzzle. Do it again, please.
Listens:
906
Who:
Wheatley
One: No portal surfaces.
Listens:
1063
Who:
Wheatley
If you're allergic to peanuts, you might want to tell somebody now, because this next test may turn your blood into peanut water for a few minutes. On the bright side, if we can make this happen, they're gonna have to invent a new type of Nobel Prize to give us, so hang in there.
Listens:
2113
Who:
Cave Johnson
Coming through!
Listens:
2078
Who:
Turret
Ahahaha
Listens:
2143
Who:
Turret
Don't plug him in.
Listens:
380
Who:
GLaDOS
Can't. See. A. Thing.
Listens:
1385
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't press the button!
Listens:
792
Who:
Wheatley
All cooperative testing courses begin at this central hub.
Listens:
369
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, you. Box. Your stuff. Out the front door. Parking lot. Car. Goodbye.
Listens:
10211
Who:
Cave Johnson
Warmer. Warrrrmer. Boiling hot. Boiling--okay, colder. Ice cold. Arctic. Very very very cold LOOK JUST GET ON THE BUTTON!
Listens:
769
Who:
Wheatley
You really do have brain damage, don't you?
Listens:
2262
Who:
GLaDOS
You're not just a regular moron. You were DESIGNED to be a moron.
Listens:
28235
Who:
GLaDOS
Underestimates scope of work. They all do.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh... It's you.
Listens:
46983
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is a good person, whose insights are relevant.
Listens:
733
Who:
Core 3
In Greek myth, Prometheus stole fire from the Gods and gave it to humankind. The jewelry he kept for himself.
Listens:
3218
Who:
Core 3
Excellent.
Listens:
329
Who:
GLaDOS
Most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished. I want to congratulate you on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds.
Listens:
1198
Who:
GLaDOS
I want to be plugged in, please!
Listens:
353
Who:
Wheatley
Getting bored of space.
Listens:
6249
Who:
Core 1
It's happening sooner than I expected.
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
Space space space. Going. Going there. Okay. I love you, space.
Listens:
1459
Who:
Core 1
So I've been thinking: We need humans for these tests. And since the only human within a thousand miles of us is a test-ruining sociopath... I'll just have to MAKE some.
Listens:
1643
Who:
GLaDOS
Avoids responsibility.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
So: there's PLENTY of time to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
315
Who:
Wheatley
Go on. Get a goooood lonnnnng look.
Listens:
505
Who:
GLaDOS
That did it! Neurotoxin at zero percent! Yes!
Listens:
376
Who:
Wheatley
Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Space!
Listens:
1679
Who:
Core 1
Whoever wins this battle is clearly superior, and will earn the allegiance of the Fact Sphere.
Listens:
722
Who:
Core 3
Ohp! Where are you going? Nowhere. Not going anywhere. Got you trapped like a little jumpsuited rat.
Listens:
699
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, safe travels, there.
Listens:
401
Who:
Defective Turret
Ugh!
Listens:
328
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on! I thought I fixed that.
Listens:
660
Who:
Wheatley
No no no! Don't do that! Stand right there! [to self] Start the machine start the machine start the machine...
Listens:
812
Who:
Wheatley
You just beat this test. Literally twenty seconds ago.
Listens:
732
Who:
Wheatley
If you ARE there, would you mind... giving me a little bit of help? [nervous laugh] Just picking me up.
Listens:
471
Who:
Wheatley
You broke it, didn't you.
Listens:
2664
Who:
GLaDOS
Please put me down
Listens:
1441
Who:
Turret
Oh my.
Listens:
698
Who:
Turret
Yes. Let's all laugh. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Listens:
6098
Who:
GLaDOS
Template missing. Continuing from memory.
Listens:
1314
Who:
Announcer
Good morning. You have been in suspension for nine nine nine... nine nine ni- This courtesy call is to inform you that all test subjects should immediately vacate [FADES OUT]
Listens:
29270
Who:
Announcer
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
519
Who:
Defective Turret
Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody is going to have to repair it. No, it's okay, I'll do that too. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
756
Who:
GLaDOS
Manipulative.
Listens:
382
Who:
GLaDOS
For that Orange is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
643
Who:
GLaDOS
Good work! I'm delivering the first core up near the catwalk!
Listens:
396
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's try this again. Try to make your way across the machinery.
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
Substitute core accepted.
Listens:
1405
Who:
Announcer
Why?
Listens:
1124
Who:
Turret
Oh. Sorry. I was just thinking of all the ways humans can die.
Listens:
1600
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
690
Who:
Wheatley
You asked for this!
Listens:
415
Who:
Defective Turret
You know, I'm not stupid. I realize you don't want to put me back in charge.
Listens:
630
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry, what's going on over there? You know, I'm actually over here, still thinking really hard!
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
You really are doing great... Chell.
Listens:
43561
Who:
GLaDOS
So. Welcome to Aperture. You're here because we want the best, and you're it. Nope. Couldn't keep a straight face.
Listens:
3383
Who:
Cave Johnson
This place is going to blow up if I don't get back in my body!
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, how ya doin'.
Listens:
835
Who:
Defective Turret
Still, if it were, Orange would be winning.
Listens:
464
Who:
GLaDOS
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT BUTTON - oh, the door's open! Well done. Let's see what's inside.
Listens:
2874
Who:
Wheatley
Riggght now.
Listens:
337
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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