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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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In Greek myth, the craftsman Daedalus invented human flight so a group of Minotaurs would stop teasing him about it.
Listens:
868
Who:
Core 3
Blue is awarded five points!
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
While I should have left both of you trapped there forever, I do need you for something else.
Listens:
298
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay back.
Listens:
388
Who:
GLaDOS
You're going to hurt yourself doing that and then I will be ECSTATIC.
Listens:
868
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohp! Where are you going? Nowhere. Not going anywhere. Got you trapped like a little jumpsuited rat.
Listens:
689
Who:
Wheatley
Uh oh.
Listens:
668
Who:
Wheatley
So, let's call that three minutes, and then a minute break, which should leave a leisurely two minutes to figure out how to shut down whatever's starting all these fires. So anyway, that's the itinerary.
Listens:
852
Who:
Wheatley
No A.I. can resist thinking about them.
Listens:
380
Who:
GLaDOS
The escape lift. Just there. Come on.
Listens:
385
Who:
Wheatley
I honestly, TRULY didn't think you'd fall for that.
Listens:
1879
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah! Brilliant. You made it through, well done.
Listens:
419
Who:
Wheatley
Just as mementos, though...
Listens:
298
Who:
GLaDOS
Please prepare for emergency evacuation.
Listens:
3235
Who:
Announcer
Space.
Listens:
103744
Who:
Core 1
I lied.
Listens:
800
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent.
Listens:
329
Who:
GLaDOS
You should now feel mentally reinvigorated. If you suspect staring at art has not provided the required intellectual sustenance, reflect briefly on this classical music. [MUSIC INTERRUPTED BY BUZZER]
Listens:
5874
Who:
Announcer
You know how I'm going to live forever, but you're going to be dead in sixty years? Well, I've been working on a belated birthday present for you. Well... more of a belated birthday medical procedure. Well. Technically, it's a medical EXPERIMENT. What's important is, it's a present.
Listens:
3061
Who:
GLaDOS
Come back!
Listens:
477
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, let's see. Cool line... He's... big. He's... just hangin' there. Okay. Yeah, all right, here we go: 'Hang around.' That might be too easy.
Listens:
583
Who:
Core 2
If you ARE there, would you mind... giving me a little bit of help? [nervous laugh] Just picking me up.
Listens:
466
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
509
Who:
Defective Turret
AHHHHHHH!
Listens:
2071
Who:
Wheatley
Substitute core, are you ready to start the procedure?
Listens:
1344
Who:
Announcer
There.
Listens:
312
Who:
GLaDOS
[disinterested] Ohhh, you solved it. Oh. Good. Good one... Good for you...
Listens:
641
Who:
Wheatley
I was going to kill you fast. With bullets. Or neurotoxin. But if you're going to pull stunts like this, it doesn't have to be fast. So you know. I'll take my time.
Listens:
1627
Who:
GLaDOS
We will attempt to comply with these now non-existent agencies by playing some more smooth jazz.
Listens:
3366
Who:
Announcer
The Tariff Act of 1789, established to protect domestic manufacture, was the second statute ever enacted by the United States government.
Listens:
717
Who:
Core 3
We could get one of the crap turrets. We could put it in the scanner and see what happens.
Listens:
353
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry I missed the beginning of that test. I was just talking with the reassembly machine about your becoming human.
Listens:
398
Who:
GLaDOS
'Hang ten?' That might work if there were ten of him. Do you think there might be nine more of this guy somewhere?
Listens:
649
Who:
Core 2
At the rate you are completing these tests, I am beginning to think you don't share my excitement for rescuing crying trapped injured dying humans.
Listens:
420
Who:
GLaDOS
You ever notice how nobody stops what they're doing to listen? We don't care.
Listens:
603
Who:
Core 2
Machiavellian!
Listens:
1092
Who:
Wheatley
No! I'm not listening! I'm not listening!
Listens:
656
Who:
Wheatley
Not paying attennnntion...
Listens:
516
Who:
GLaDOS
I know your cores are reused from calculation machines, built for simple mathematical operations and not for testing, but if we can rescue the humans I promise you something to add maybe even subtract.
Listens:
559
Who:
GLaDOS
The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects.
Listens:
548
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, shut up!
Listens:
2363
Who:
Core 2
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
587
Who:
Defective Turret
You really do have brain damage, don't you?
Listens:
2249
Who:
GLaDOS
I spy with my little eye, something that starts with 'f'.
Listens:
463
Who:
Wheatley
Reactor Explosion Timer destroyed.
Listens:
4042
Who:
Announcer
She’s probably okay.
Listens:
743
Who:
Turret
Anyone got any bullets?
Listens:
677
Who:
Defective Turret
Now she'll argue. She'll say she can't. She's modest like that. But you make her.
Listens:
1885
Who:
Cave Johnson
Oh shut up!
Listens:
1716
Who:
Core 2
Okay, that's long enough. Are you dead yet? How about now?
Listens:
662
Who:
Wheatley
Please note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it.
Listens:
1082
Who:
Announcer
Hey lady.
Listens:
1516
Who:
Core 1
Oh!
Listens:
1359
Who:
Turret
Calibrating Blue's weight...
Listens:
364
Who:
GLaDOS
You really aren't getting tired of that, are you?
Listens:
1397
Who:
GLaDOS
PART FIVE! BOOBYTRAP THE STALEMATE BUTTON!
Listens:
7084
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, so it's not the most watertight plan to go confront an omnipotent power-mad A.I. with.
Listens:
458
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange
Listens:
728
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
897
Who:
Defective Turret
Go ahead, plug me in.
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
Space. Space. Space. Space. Comets. Stars. Galaxies. Orion.
Listens:
1978
Who:
Core 1
To your left... you'll see some lights of some kind. Don't know what they do. But very sciencey anyway.
Listens:
668
Who:
Wheatley
Ignores directions.
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
Crushing's too good for him. First he'll spend a year in the incinerator. Year two: Cryogenic refrigeration wing. Then TEN years in the chamber I built where all the robots scream at you. THEN I'll kill him.
Listens:
4363
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Hey! It's me! I'm okay!
Listens:
507
Who:
Wheatley
You will never go into space.
Listens:
1071
Who:
Core 3
Blue, I wouldn't have trusted Orange in that course either.
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Fixed.
Listens:
532
Who:
Wheatley
I forbid you to press it!
Listens:
638
Who:
Wheatley
Lady.
Listens:
643
Who:
Core 1
Just turn around.
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
Hello again. Sorry about exploding you. Luckily, you don't feel pain. At any rate, you don't have a way to communicate that you feel pain.
Listens:
2828
Who:
GLaDOS
No!
Listens:
1127
Who:
GLaDOS
Kick him! Or punch him. You're the boss, dimples.
Listens:
871
Who:
Core 2
Warning: Core overheating. Nuclear meltdown imminent.
Listens:
19974
Who:
Announcer
Cheater.
Listens:
563
Who:
GLaDOS
And check this out! I'm a bloody genius now!
Listens:
716
Who:
Wheatley
Ow. I hate this bird.
Listens:
2007
Who:
GLaDOS
Pick me up, don't forget to pick me up!
Listens:
359
Who:
Wheatley
Your ping tool is invaluable for communicating specific locations to your partner.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
What do you think?
Listens:
1387
Who:
Wheatley
I've got an idea! Do what it says, plug me in!
Listens:
308
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah. Clickety click click. Right on the money.
Listens:
3319
Who:
Defective Turret
Since it doesn't look like we're going anywhere... Well, we are going somewhere. Alarmingly fast, actually. But since we're not busy other than that, here's a couple of facts.
Listens:
745
Who:
GLaDOS
Powerup complete.
Listens:
3809
Who:
Announcer
Those of you helping us test the repulsion gel today, just follow the blue line on the floor.
Listens:
1055
Who:
Cave Johnson
This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I'd just finished building them before you had your, well, episode. So now we'll both get to see how they work.
Listens:
546
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm starting to think you don't want to rescue the humans.
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, I certainly expected more from you.
Listens:
305
Who:
GLaDOS
How would you use it in a sentence? 'Mmm, this apple's crunchy,' you might say. And I'm not even asking you for the whole sentence. Just the word 'Apple'.
Listens:
928
Who:
Wheatley
If we're lucky, she won't find out all her turrets are crap until it's too late. [laughs] Classic.
Listens:
653
Who:
Wheatley
I love space. Love space.
Listens:
1052
Who:
Core 1
OW.
Listens:
801
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, listen, let me lay something on you here. It's pretty heavy. They told me NEVER NEVER EVER to disengage myself from my Management Rail. Or I would DIE. But we're out of options here. So... get ready to catch me, alright, on the off chance that I'm not dead the moment I pop off this thing.
Listens:
955
Who:
Wheatley
The lock is looking for two humans.
Listens:
394
Who:
GLaDOS
The likelihood of you dying within the next five minutes is eighty-seven point six one percent.
Listens:
1638
Who:
Core 3
There. Try it now.
Listens:
520
Who:
GLaDOS
Are they killing you? They're killing you, aren't they?
Listens:
664
Who:
Wheatley
I can only imagine.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
Still, if it were, Blue would be winning.
Listens:
619
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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