Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
Sounds crazy, I know. But hear me out. Once you get to my lair, death will not be optional. It will be mandatory. No tricks, no surprises: just you dying, as a result of me killing you in a very very gruesome way.
Listens:
1036
Who:
Wheatley
That was nobody’s fault.
Listens:
740
Who:
Turret
How would you use it in a sentence? 'Mmm, this apple's crunchy,' you might say. And I'm not even asking you for the whole sentence. Just the word 'Apple'.
Listens:
899
Who:
Wheatley
Or maybe he still is, in which case, wow, that's kind of sad.
Listens:
1609
Who:
GLaDOS
Run! I don't need to do the voice. RUN!
Listens:
664
Who:
Wheatley
You win.
Listens:
1311
Who:
GLaDOS
Right on that stick over there. Just put me right on it.
Listens:
281
Who:
Wheatley
You know what I have too many of around here? Monitors. I was just thinking earlier today I wish I had fewer monitors that were working. So you're actually helping me by smashing them.
Listens:
1866
Who:
Wheatley
I found some bird eggs up here. Just dropped 'em into the door mechanism. Shut it right down. I--AGH!
Listens:
1116
Who:
Wheatley
Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve.
Listens:
2521
Who:
Core 3
You should see yourselves right now.
Listens:
1342
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't let that 'horrible person' thing discourage you. It's just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep.
Listens:
6412
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you doing no no no no no!
Listens:
1055
Who:
Defective Turret
Are we in space?
Listens:
1028
Who:
Core 1
That isn't science.
Listens:
2599
Who:
GLaDOS
The moon orbits the Earth every 27.32 days.
Listens:
882
Who:
Core 3
Oh, come on!
Listens:
584
Who:
Defective Turret
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
794
Who:
Core 3
GO.
Listens:
1076
Who:
GLaDOS
We're not gonna release this stuff into the wild until it's good and damn ready, so as long as you keep yourself in top physical form, there'll always be a limo waiting for you.
Listens:
988
Who:
Cave Johnson
[clap clap]
Listens:
21480
Who:
GLaDOS
Go! Go go go!
Listens:
280
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
Listens:
779
Who:
Core 3
The floor. What's the floor doing? What's the floor up to? Do you know what? It's holding everything up. The floor is important, holding everything up.
Listens:
722
Who:
Wheatley
I AM NOT! A MORON!
Listens:
7666
Who:
Wheatley
I'm starting to think giving you arms was a big mistake.
Listens:
293
Who:
GLaDOS
You did WHAT?
Listens:
3179
Who:
Wheatley
MOVE.
Listens:
498
Who:
Wheatley
Wet blanket.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
Space...
Listens:
1281
Who:
Core 1
I'll just move that out of the way for you. This place really is a wreck.
Listens:
317
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
1371
Who:
Defective Turret
Nicely Done!
Listens:
599
Who:
Wheatley
You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello?
Listens:
777
Who:
Wheatley
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
481
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue just taught orange a valuable lesson in trust. For that, blue receives 14 science collaboration points.
Listens:
405
Who:
GLaDOS
Whoa! Hey! Don't fall!
Listens:
293
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is not defective. Its facts are wholly accurate and very interesting.
Listens:
2536
Who:
Core 3
We will both die because of your negligence.
Listens:
1244
Who:
Core 3
Poor self-esteem.
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, wait, let me light this path for you.
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
Incoherent.
Listens:
307
Who:
GLaDOS
science collaboration points.
Listens:
671
Who:
GLaDOS
Here's an interesting fact: you're not breathing real air. It's too expensive to pump this far down. We just take carbon dioxide out of a room, freshen it up a little, and pump it back in. So you'll be breathing the same room full of air for the rest of your life. I thought that was interesting.
Listens:
4758
Who:
GLaDOS
There's a star. There's another one. Star. Star star star. Star.
Listens:
1594
Who:
Core 1
Agghh!
Listens:
402
Who:
GLaDOS
Orbit. Space orbit. In my spacesuit.
Listens:
1231
Who:
Core 1
SOLVE IT! Commanding voice...
Listens:
758
Who:
Wheatley
Hello?
Listens:
2543
Who:
Turret
The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space.
Listens:
781
Who:
Core 3
Don't think I'm not onto you too, lady. You know what you are? Selfish. I've done nothing but sacrifice to get us here! What have you sacrificed? NOTHING. Zero. All you've done is BOSS ME AROUND. Well, NOW who's the boss? Who's the boss? It's me!
Listens:
2517
Who:
Wheatley
Done! Hacked!
Listens:
603
Who:
Wheatley
I'll give you a hint. Button. That's all I'm gonna say. One word. Button.
Listens:
427
Who:
Wheatley
5000 point penalty! Are you happy now?
Listens:
1719
Who:
GLaDOS
If we're lucky, she won't find out all her turrets are crap until it's too late. [laughs] Classic.
Listens:
623
Who:
Wheatley
I'm afraid the door's locked. Just checked it. No way to hack it as far as I can tell. The mechanism must be on the -oh, now look at that. That's a big laser!
Listens:
458
Who:
Wheatley
Hellllooo, imbecile.
Listens:
4825
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?
Listens:
439
Who:
Defective Turret
Wanna go to earth wanna go to earth wanna go to earth wanna go to earth. Wanna go to earth.
Listens:
2567
Who:
Core 1
QUICK: WHAT'S THE SITUATION? Oh, hello angel. I guess I must have died and gone to heaven. Name's Rick. So, you out having yourself a little adventure?
Listens:
3755
Who:
Core 2
I feel awful about that surprise. Tell you what, let's give your parents a call right now. [phone ringing] The birth parents you are trying to reach do not love you. Please hang up. [Dial tone]
Listens:
28485
Who:
GLaDOS
Machiavellian!
Listens:
1051
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Hey! Up here!
Listens:
334
Who:
Wheatley
You know, if you'd done that to somebody else, they might devote their existences to exacting revenge.
Listens:
1289
Who:
GLaDOS
What do you have there?
Listens:
279
Who:
Wheatley
Anyway, new turrets. Not defective. Ace of fours. The best hand. Unbeatable, I imagine.
Listens:
1562
Who:
Wheatley
Yeghh!
Listens:
606
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Pick me up!
Listens:
648
Who:
Wheatley
All these science spheres are made of asbestos, by the way. Keeps out the rats. Let us know if you feel a shortness of breath, a persistent dry cough or your heart stopping. Because that's not part of the test. That's asbestos.
Listens:
32827
Who:
Cave Johnson
Oh really. That's what the two of you think, is it?
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
Noooooo!
Listens:
1992
Who:
Turret
Whatever he does, it isn't important enough for anyone to bother writing it down. For all I know, he doesn't even work here.
Listens:
517
Who:
GLaDOS
This is art. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, stare at the art. [BUZZER]
Listens:
11640
Who:
Announcer
Ha! Death trap!
Listens:
778
Who:
Wheatley
Come on. Ohhhh. Hit me with it.
Listens:
601
Who:
Wheatley
Well played.
Listens:
439
Who:
Defective Turret
Never listens.
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
He will most likely kill you, violently.
Listens:
1033
Who:
Core 3
I'm fine!
Listens:
1214
Who:
Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
560
Who:
Defective Turret
Mr. Johnson...
Listens:
1414
Who:
Caroline
Oh, it will. Believe me, it will.
Listens:
1727
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, I certainly expected more from you.
Listens:
291
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, I'll stop the elevator. Anything? Take your time...
Listens:
435
Who:
GLaDOS
You like revenge, right? Everybody likes revenge. Well, let's go get some.
Listens:
2711
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent! You're a predator and these tests are your prey. Speaking of which, I was researching sharks for an upcoming test. Do you know who else murders people who are only trying to help them?
Listens:
3373
Who:
GLaDOS
Interpreting vague answer as YES.
Listens:
25564
Who:
Announcer
In order to escape, we're going to have to go through HER chamber.
Listens:
312
Who:
Wheatley
The Schrodinger's cat paradox outlines a situation in which a cat in a box must be considered, for all intents and purposes, simultaneously alive and dead. Schrodinger created this paradox as a justification for killing cats.
Listens:
8862
Who:
Core 3
I wonder if the humans will make a statue of me for rescuing them? Oh, don't worry, if they ever write a historical document of my heroic rescue, I will make sure your names are included in the footnotes.
Listens:
561
Who:
GLaDOS
Still, though, let's get mad! If we're going to explode, let's at least explode with some dignity.
Listens:
1879
Who:
GLaDOS
Follow me! You're gonna love this.
Listens:
389
Who:
Wheatley
Now she'll argue. She'll say she can't. She's modest like that. But you make her.
Listens:
1822
Who:
Cave Johnson
Okay, I've just gotta concentrate!
Listens:
311
Who:
Wheatley
She was provoking you.
Listens:
826
Who:
Turret
To clarify, I was being a little bit facetious about wanting to get rid of monitors. They're actually really quite useful. So I do want them around. So if you could just avoid smashing them.
Listens:
479
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, can't blame me for trying. Okay... New tests, new tests... there's gotta be some tests around here somewhere.
Listens:
1519
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhh, we're so close, plug me in!
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
Anyway, here's a new cube for you to project your deranged loneliness onto.
Listens:
908
Who:
GLaDOS
The Adventure Sphere is a blowhard and a coward.
Listens:
1110
Who:
Core 3
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
