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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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Almost there! Remember: you're looking for a gun that makes holes. Not bullet holes, but-- well, you'll figure it out. Really do hold on this time!
Listens:
763
Who:
Wheatley
[gentle laughter] It's been fun. Don't come back.
Listens:
7525
Who:
GLaDOS
For this next test, we put nanoparticles in the gel. In layman's terms, that's a billion little gizmos that are gonna travel into your bloodstream and pump experimental genes and RNA molecules and so forth into your tumors.
Listens:
1496
Who:
Cave Johnson
Please stop.
Listens:
1246
Who:
Turret
Now let's continue testing.
Listens:
1157
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh oh oh oh. Wait wait. Wait I know. I know. I know wait. Space.
Listens:
1350
Who:
Core 1
Oh no, don't. Anyway, back to you two imbeciles killing me.
Listens:
890
Who:
GLaDOS
Give me another channnnce!
Listens:
800
Who:
Defective Turret
I defy you to tell me there's a purpose to what you're doing.
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you smell neurotoxin?
Listens:
604
Who:
Wheatley
In case you're interested, there's still some positions available for that bonus opportunity I mentioned earlier. Again: all you gotta do is let us disassemble you. We're not banging rocks together here. We know how to put a man back together.
Listens:
1693
Who:
Cave Johnson
Frequent bouts of uncontrollable rage.
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
Calibrating Orange's weight...
Listens:
317
Who:
GLaDOS
SOLVE IT! Commanding voice...
Listens:
792
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I did my best.
Listens:
492
Who:
Defective Turret
You find a way to stun him, I'll send you a core, and then you attach it to him. If we do it a few times, he might become corrupt enough for another core transfer.
Listens:
392
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. Hi.
Listens:
2340
Who:
GLaDOS
Absolutely no improvement.
Listens:
846
Who:
Defective Turret
SURPRISE! We're doing it NOW!
Listens:
5956
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! You came back! Didn't actually plan... for that. Can't actually reset the death trap. So. Ah. Could you jump into that pit, there? Would you just jump into that pit for me?
Listens:
1258
Who:
Wheatley
She probably deserved it.
Listens:
862
Who:
Turret
Luckily, you don't feel pain. At any rate, you don't have a way to communicate that you feel pain.
Listens:
603
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello!
Listens:
1005
Who:
Wheatley
Look, an eclipse! No. Don't look.
Listens:
1575
Who:
Core 1
I see you
Listens:
2932
Who:
Turret
Try it now.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
Completing this course was not a reason to behave like that.
Listens:
342
Who:
GLaDOS
A... A... A... A... A... A.
Listens:
565
Who:
Wheatley
Which involves deadly lasers and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly lasers.
Listens:
1052
Who:
GLaDOS
Before you leave, why don't we do one more test? For old time's sake...
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations on successfully returning to the central hub room. From here you can select all previously completed courses.
Listens:
1126
Who:
Announcer
Help!
Listens:
875
Who:
Turret
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other’s performance so far.
Listens:
452
Who:
GLaDOS
You know how I'm going to live forever, but you're going to be dead in sixty years? Well, I've been working on a belated birthday present for you. Well... more of a belated birthday medical procedure. Well. Technically, it's a medical EXPERIMENT. What's important is, it's a present.
Listens:
3055
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha! Missed me that time. Ohhh, you were solving-nevermind, carry on. My fault.
Listens:
488
Who:
Wheatley
No knife? That's fine. I know all about pressure points.
Listens:
485
Who:
Core 2
How you doing down there? You still holding on?
Listens:
314
Who:
Wheatley
Interpreting vague answer as YES.
Listens:
26194
Who:
Announcer
We are now going to take a break from the collaboration for an instructional competition.
Listens:
328
Who:
GLaDOS
If you were wondering how could you annoy me without failing a test. Now you know.
Listens:
323
Who:
GLaDOS
The humans can't free themselves.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
Do either of you feel like laughing?
Listens:
1315
Who:
GLaDOS
This is Tic-Tac-Toe-Two.
Listens:
885
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
580
Who:
Defective Turret
Contrary to popular belief, the Eskimo does not have one hundred different words for snow. They do, however, have two hundred and thirty-four words for fudge.
Listens:
1466
Who:
Core 3
Anddddd...THERE we go.
Listens:
343
Who:
Wheatley
Incoherent.
Listens:
319
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll give you a hint. Button. That's all I'm gonna say. One word. Button.
Listens:
438
Who:
Wheatley
This close and you are going to fail me?
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
You really do have brain damage, don't you?
Listens:
2235
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, how well do you really know Orange? Do you trust Orange? What if I told you, you aren't Orange's first cooperative partner?
Listens:
470
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! It's going faster, which I was... not expecting.
Listens:
296
Who:
Wheatley
DO press it.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
Put me in the game, coach!
Listens:
1001
Who:
Defective Turret
Still held! Still bein' held. That's a great job. You've applied the grip. We're all fine. That's tremendous.
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
I'll bet there isn't even a problem with the facility, is there? I'll bet there's no such thing as a 'reactor core'. I'll bet that's not even fire coming out of the walls, is it? It's just cleverly placed lights and papier mache, I'll bet that's all it is.
Listens:
2210
Who:
Wheatley
Pick--would you pick me up?
Listens:
310
Who:
Wheatley
Silently killing you. Probably. If I had to guess.
Listens:
534
Who:
Wheatley
Orange is first to acquire a Portal Device.
Listens:
641
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue to be clear, I was asking if Orange trusted you.
Listens:
290
Who:
GLaDOS
Puppet master! You're a puppet in a play, and I hold all the strings! And cards, still. Cards in one hand, strings in the other. And I'm making you dance like a puppet. Playing cards.
Listens:
2639
Who:
Wheatley
A somersault is just falling over in style. Congratulations on being clumsy.
Listens:
444
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh oh.
Listens:
447
Who:
GLaDOS
ahhhhEHHHHHH!
Listens:
1357
Who:
Wheatley
Alalalawl
Listens:
5660
Who:
Turret
Go on. Get a goooood lonnnnng look.
Listens:
496
Who:
GLaDOS
Here it is - the turret factory entrance! We made it.
Listens:
309
Who:
Wheatley
Let's see what the next test is. Oh. Advanced Aerial Faith Plates.
Listens:
435
Who:
GLaDOS
You will never go into space.
Listens:
1066
Who:
Core 3
It won't.
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
Gotta go to space. Yeah. Gotta go to space.
Listens:
1174
Who:
Core 1
This door's actually pretty complicated.
Listens:
289
Who:
Wheatley
Not done yet. You've still got to get through the door. Need to get through the door there.
Listens:
316
Who:
Wheatley
ONE Catchmecatchmecatchmecatchmecatchme
Listens:
976
Who:
Wheatley
This ain't Marquis of Queensberry Rules, sweetie! Pour on the mustard!
Listens:
593
Who:
Core 2
I'm Cave Johnson. I own the place.
Listens:
4992
Who:
Cave Johnson
Maybe you ARE getting human emotions.
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
The good news is... well, none so far, to be honest. I'll get back to you on that.
Listens:
370
Who:
GLaDOS
I think after that display, we should take a break from the official testing courses.
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't move. And unless you're planning to saw your own head off and wedge it into my old body, you're going to need me to replace him. We're at an impasse.
Listens:
928
Who:
GLaDOS
In Greek myth, the craftsman Daedalus invented human flight so a group of Minotaurs would stop teasing him about it.
Listens:
866
Who:
Core 3
How are you? How you feeling? Wait. Don't answer that. Too much deep relaxation, what it does is it relaxes the gums. And the vibrations from talking -- on a rare occasion -- can make all of your teeth fall out of your head.
Listens:
611
Who:
Wheatley
I, uh... I am a bad man.
Listens:
893
Who:
Defective Turret
Is that camera is hooked into the lock?
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Space!
Listens:
1310
Who:
Core 1
Stop failing, you need to find the vault door.
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
First thing I noticed about you: 'Now there's a lady who could resolve any button-based disputes,' I thought. A diamond in the rough, if you will--a a bloody natural. A born dispute resolution advisor in need of a button.
Listens:
565
Who:
Wheatley
Deploying
Listens:
3066
Who:
Turret
Might as well give you the tour.
Listens:
328
Who:
Wheatley
New template accepted.
Listens:
1424
Who:
Announcer
Yes, I see you waving.
Listens:
1043
Who:
GLaDOS
Frequent mood swings.
Listens:
342
Who:
GLaDOS
At the rate you are completing these tests, I am beginning to think you don't share my excitement for rescuing crying trapped injured dying humans.
Listens:
418
Who:
GLaDOS
I found two little robots back here. Built specifically for testin'!
Listens:
385
Who:
Wheatley
Go on!
Listens:
296
Who:
Wheatley
Miss you!
Listens:
770
Who:
GLaDOS
However, thanks to Emergency Testing Protocols, testing can continue. These pre-recorded messages will provide instructional and motivational support, so that science can still be done, even in the event of environmental, social, economic, or structural collapse.
Listens:
2224
Who:
Announcer
*cough* Button. Button.
Listens:
1400
Who:
Wheatley
Ohh. You're gonna laugh at this. You know how I said there was absolutely no way to get here without going through her lair and her potentially killing us? Could have gone through here. [laughs] My fault. Bit of luck for us that she wasn't switched on.
Listens:
1529
Who:
Wheatley
All cooperative testing courses begin at this central hub.
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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