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Portal 2
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Blue is first to acquire a Portal Device.
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
You just solved it, didn't you? I-told you to tell me before you... NNNNGH! Why are making this so HARD for me?
Listens:
522
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, don't sink to Orange's level.
Listens:
264
Who:
GLaDOS
Lady.
Listens:
768
Who:
Core 1
This. Sentence. Is. FALSE don't think about it don't think about it...
Listens:
31489
Who:
GLaDOS
Get ready for it!
Listens:
347
Who:
Defective Turret
The Space Sphere will never go to space.
Listens:
17882
Who:
Core 3
That extra half volt helps but it isn't going to power miracles. If I think too hard, I'm going to fry this potato before we get a chance to burn up in the atomic fireball that little idiot is going- [bzzpt]
Listens:
3500
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, it is GREAT seeing you guys again. Seriously. It turns out I'm a little short on test subjects right now. So this works out PERFECT.
Listens:
364
Who:
Wheatley
Space space wanna go to space yes please space. Space space. Go to space.
Listens:
18151
Who:
Core 1
Yes, you. Box. Your stuff. Out the front door. Parking lot. Car. Goodbye.
Listens:
9452
Who:
Cave Johnson
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
805
Who:
GLaDOS
What is this, like a hobby for you now? I mean, honestly, it's crazy! You've been running around for hours, I'm surprised you have the energy to smash screens willy nilly. Honestly, I'd have a little lie down if I were you. Have a nap.
Listens:
666
Who:
Wheatley
I was so bored, I actually read the entire literary canon of the human race. Ugh. I hope YOU didn't write any of them.
Listens:
776
Who:
GLaDOS
These bridges are made from natural light that I pump in from the surface. If you rubbed your cheek on one, it would be like standing outside with the sun shining on your face. It would also set your hair on fire, so don't actually do it.
Listens:
2146
Who:
GLaDOS
I hardly think you're even trying with these gestures anymore.
Listens:
270
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Oi oi! I'm up here!
Listens:
403
Who:
Wheatley
Humans can survive underwater. But not for very long.
Listens:
1145
Who:
Core 3
Error. Error. Error. File not found.
Listens:
1240
Who:
Core 3
The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects.
Listens:
471
Who:
Wheatley
It emphasizes teamwork.
Listens:
261
Who:
GLaDOS
Insecure.
Listens:
284
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Oh! Don't leave me behind! Do pick me up, if you would...
Listens:
357
Who:
Wheatley
For god's sake, you're BOXES with LEGS! It is literally your only purpose! Walking onto buttons! How can you not do the one thing you were designed for?
Listens:
6009
Who:
Wheatley
What, are you still alive? You are joking. You have got be kidding me. Well, I'm still in control. AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO FIX THIS PLACE.
Listens:
6064
Who:
Wheatley
Here it is - the turret factory entrance! We made it.
Listens:
259
Who:
Wheatley
Warning, sphere corruption at twenty-- rats cannot throw up.
Listens:
2579
Who:
Core 3
On second thought we don't have the time, just look at how much better you are than blue.
Listens:
280
Who:
GLaDOS
Greetings, friend. I'm Cave Johnson, CEO of Aperture Science - you might know us as a vital participant in the 1968 Senate Hearings on missing astronauts. And you've most likely used one of the many products we invented. But that other people have somehow managed to steal from us. Black Mesa can eat my bankrupt--
Listens:
7956
Who:
Cave Johnson
Did anything happen while I was out?
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
How is this even science, without the possibility of death?
Listens:
541
Who:
GLaDOS
Space space wanna go to space
Listens:
969
Who:
Core 1
Thank you for completing the testing courses. If you enjoyed your experience, you may now re-enter the testing course of your choice.
Listens:
858
Who:
Announcer
Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-action and adventure-dunna-dunna-na-dunna-na-playing by our own rules-nanana-hanging by our fingers from a mountain-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun...
Listens:
111563
Who:
Core 2
Take me with you...
Listens:
1202
Who:
Turret
There's the exit! We're almost out of here!
Listens:
258
Who:
Wheatley
I swear I know him...
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
Come to gloat?
Listens:
312
Who:
GLaDOS
I was outside watching some deer frolic. You don't even care about the outside do you?
Listens:
751
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhh. Another door malfunction. I'm going to take care of this once and for all. Stay here, I'll be back in a while.
Listens:
462
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m sorry, Subject Blue.
Listens:
393
Who:
GLaDOS
Gotta go to space. Yeah. Gotta go to space.
Listens:
1137
Who:
Core 1
Alright, check THIS out.
Listens:
354
Who:
Defective Turret
For that Blue is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
921
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Bing! Perfect. On you go.
Listens:
435
Who:
Wheatley
The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space.
Listens:
738
Who:
Core 3
Allright, test's over. You can head on back to your desk.
Listens:
1180
Who:
Cave Johnson
Hey.
Listens:
965
Who:
Core 1
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha
Listens:
1212
Who:
Defective Turret
No! No! You're LYING! You're LYING!
Listens:
532
Who:
Wheatley
Do you understand what I'm saying? Just tell me 'Yes'.
Listens:
269
Who:
Wheatley
But I'm huge! [laugh turning to maniacal laugh]
Listens:
38116
Who:
Wheatley
Just say 'Apple'. Classic. Very simple.
Listens:
758
Who:
Wheatley
How is this even science, without the consequence of death?
Listens:
387
Who:
GLaDOS
Please test your device by portaling to that ledge.
Listens:
258
Who:
GLaDOS
Critical error
Listens:
12740
Who:
Turret
Alright, fine. I'm not saying another word until you do it properly. I'm sick of this.
Listens:
515
Who:
Wheatley
Malfunctioning
Listens:
1227
Who:
Turret
There we go. Lift called.
Listens:
271
Who:
Wheatley
[BUZZER NOISE]
Listens:
20633
Who:
Wheatley
Still running. Alright. Looks tiring. Tell you what - you stop running and I'll stop bombing you... That seems fair.
Listens:
472
Who:
Wheatley
Agggh! I'm on fire!
Listens:
7118
Who:
Defective Turret
Hold on! This is a bit tricky!
Listens:
341
Who:
Wheatley
Jammed 'em all together. Buttons. Got funnels. Bottomless pits are involved. It's got it all, it's absolute dynamite.
Listens:
492
Who:
Wheatley
Chronic anxiety. Oh, I can work with that.
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
I let him keep his job. I'm not a monster. Ignore what he's saying, though. Keep testing.
Listens:
666
Who:
Wheatley
Hey lady. Lady.
Listens:
1025
Who:
Core 1
An extra special bonus course that ends with us finding and freeing humans!
Listens:
287
Who:
GLaDOS
I honestly never thought we would need to track how many times died in the hub.
Listens:
368
Who:
GLaDOS
Finish it...
Listens:
337
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I'll take that as a no, then. Fine. Well. May the best man win. Sphere. May the best sphere win. Swap that in. Much more clever. Books.
Listens:
792
Who:
Wheatley
It is incorrectly noted that Thomas Edison invented 'push-ups' in 1878. Nikolai Tesla had in fact patented the activity three years earlier, under the name 'Tesla-cize.'
Listens:
1538
Who:
Core 3
Why?
Listens:
1082
Who:
Turret
Hurry! This way!
Listens:
267
Who:
Wheatley
There we go. Lights on.
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
The answer is beneath us.
Listens:
2050
Who:
Turret
Yes indeed. Yes indeed.
Listens:
2177
Who:
Defective Turret
Template missing. Continuing from memory.
Listens:
1196
Who:
Announcer
I heard gunfire! A bit late for this, but look out for gunfire! Probably doesn't help at this point, but I have at least tried.
Listens:
435
Who:
Wheatley
You didn't do anything.
Listens:
487
Who:
GLaDOS
Open the door!
Listens:
310
Who:
Wheatley
If you are alive, can you say something. Jump around so I know you are OK?
Listens:
352
Who:
Wheatley
Goodbye!
Listens:
3170
Who:
Turret
Do you know who dances around like an imbecile when they accomplish the tiniest little thing?
Listens:
501
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes sir, Mister Johnson.
Listens:
1545
Who:
Caroline
Okay, I'm gonna lay my cards on the table: I don't wanna do it. I don't want to go in there. Don't... Don't go in there - She's off. She's off! Panic over! She's off. All fine! On we go.
Listens:
523
Who:
Wheatley
Bring your daughter to work day. That did not end well.
Listens:
627
Who:
Wheatley
You know what? Go ahead and jump. You've got braces on your legs. No braces on your arms, though. Gonna have to rely on the old human strength to keep a grip on the device and, by extension, me. So do. Do make sure to maintain a grip.
Listens:
408
Who:
Wheatley
Hey
Listens:
879
Who:
Turret
Look who's back, were you scared to continue those tests?
Listens:
256
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm seriously not paying atten-- STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!
Listens:
5797
Who:
GLaDOS
Come on, let's go!
Listens:
258
Who:
Wheatley
Turn around. I'll only be a second. If you don't mind.
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
I'll be honest: The death traps have been a bit of a failure so far. For both of us. I think you'll agree. And you are getting very close to my lair.
Listens:
594
Who:
Wheatley
Come on through.
Listens:
257
Who:
Wheatley
Ha ha! Gotcha right where I want ya!
Listens:
628
Who:
Defective Turret
Cryptic.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll interpret that gesture to mean that you want me to become even more vindictive toward you.
Listens:
258
Who:
GLaDOS
At the end of The Seagull by Anton Chekhov, Konstantin kills himself.
Listens:
547
Who:
Core 3
I would say extremely deadly but we all know, for you and your amazing ability to be reassembled nothing is deadly.
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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