Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
Are you testing me?
Listens:
385
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Look. We both said a lot of things that you're going to regret. But I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster.
Listens:
29362
Who:
GLaDOS
Just stop it already.
Listens:
521
Who:
GLaDOS
See that?
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
Warning: Central core is eighty percent corrupt.
Listens:
2431
Who:
Announcer
Go on. Get a big fat eyeful. With your big fat eyes.
Listens:
2453
Who:
GLaDOS
You have trapped yourself. Congratulations. The exit door is now open.
Listens:
3711
Who:
Announcer
Good work! Now throw the ball over the ledge.
Listens:
565
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Good news! [electic pop] Nevermind.
Listens:
6699
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, now. She can't use her turrets. So let's go and take care of that neurotoxin generator as well.
Listens:
297
Who:
Wheatley
Um.
Listens:
537
Who:
Defective Turret
Right. Let's figure out how to stop this turret line...
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhhhh, we just made it! That was close.
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
Nice catch, Orange.
Listens:
988
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah. Hmmmm.
Listens:
327
Who:
Wheatley
Fire detected in the Stalemate Resolution Annex. Extinguishing.
Listens:
2519
Who:
Announcer
Be honest. You can't even tell, can you? Seamless.
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, do you feel betrayed by orange for telling me those horrible things about you?
Listens:
309
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! You came back! Didn't actually plan... for that. Can't actually reset the death trap. So. Ah. Could you jump into that pit, there? Would you just jump into that pit for me?
Listens:
1235
Who:
Wheatley
But why don't we all just agree to call it the hub?
Listens:
402
Who:
GLaDOS
Wait, what if this hurts? What if it REALLY hurts? Ohhh, I didn't think of that.
Listens:
1993
Who:
Wheatley
Don't listen to him. Jump.
Listens:
488
Who:
GLaDOS
All right. I’m bringing this farce to a close.
Listens:
384
Who:
GLaDOS
Pfff. I guess.
Listens:
548
Who:
Core 2
Do it!
Listens:
498
Who:
Wheatley
Yes Orange, we are alone. Blue can't hear you.
Listens:
321
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m on fire ow.
Listens:
5088
Who:
Turret
That extra half volt helps but it isn't going to power miracles. If I think too hard, I'm going to fry this potato before we get a chance to burn up in the atomic fireball that little idiot is going- [bzzpt]
Listens:
3682
Who:
GLaDOS
This body is amazing, seriously!
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
Blue receives
Listens:
328
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't press that button. You don't know what you're doing.
Listens:
1761
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh shut up!
Listens:
1703
Who:
Core 2
Okay, look, the point is, we're gonna break out of here! Very soon, I promise, I promise!
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
Am I interrupting your important conversation?
Listens:
516
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
749
Who:
Wheatley
That's funny, I don't feel corrupt. In fact, I feel pretty good.
Listens:
1830
Who:
GLaDOS
You win.
Listens:
1335
Who:
GLaDOS
RUN! Come on! I'm closing the doors!
Listens:
374
Who:
Wheatley
Ow. I hate this bird.
Listens:
1991
Who:
GLaDOS
You only failed
Listens:
627
Who:
GLaDOS
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
846
Who:
Core 1
Oh well. We have warehouses FULL of the things. Absolutely worthless. I'm happy to get rid of them.
Listens:
986
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, off you go!
Listens:
328
Who:
Wheatley
Ahhhohohhhh. Wow. Well done, seriously, both of you. Why don't you two go on ahead? I'll catch up with you.
Listens:
2369
Who:
Wheatley
Oh dear.
Listens:
913
Who:
Turret
Listen to me. We had a lot of fun testing and antagonizing each other, and, yes, sometimes it went too far. But we're off the clock now. It's just us talking. Like regular people. And this is no joke - we are in deep trouble.
Listens:
913
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyway. Just finished the last one. The hardest one. Machiavelli. Do not know what all the fuss was about. Understood it perfectly. Have you read that one?
Listens:
950
Who:
Wheatley
[hums 'For He's A Jolly Good Fellow']
Listens:
5081
Who:
GLaDOS
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
5404
Who:
GLaDOS
I thought of another great thing about humans. You invented us. Giving us the opportunity to let you relax while we invented everything else. We couldn't have done any of that without you. Classy. If you don't mind me saying.
Listens:
601
Who:
Wheatley
Excellent.
Listens:
325
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, it's not nice to make fun of Blue like that.
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
Using your ping tool, please indicate where you would like me to place your two portals. Ping each location.
Listens:
429
Who:
GLaDOS
I found two little robots back here. Built specifically for testin'!
Listens:
377
Who:
Wheatley
Stubborn.
Listens:
326
Who:
GLaDOS
SPACE!
Listens:
21617
Who:
Wheatley
Also, are you alive? That's important, should have asked that first.
Listens:
748
Who:
Wheatley
ORANGE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite element from the periodic table.
Listens:
765
Who:
GLaDOS
This was another test no one had ever completed before you two. Oh, the science we used to learn with this test. Now the test is useless.
Listens:
351
Who:
GLaDOS
Good work! I'm delivering the first core up near the catwalk!
Listens:
385
Who:
GLaDOS
Space? SPACE!
Listens:
24162
Who:
Core 1
Okay. Here's a good idea. You should definitely press that button.
Listens:
411
Who:
Wheatley
GET IN!
Listens:
322
Who:
Wheatley
Um, hello?
Listens:
1411
Who:
Turret
Oh really. That's what the two of you think, is it?
Listens:
328
Who:
Wheatley
Ahh!
Listens:
1440
Who:
Turret
I'll bet you're both dying to know what your big surprise is. Only TWO more chambers!
Listens:
480
Who:
Wheatley
I created this test to let the humans feel good about themselves. It is extremely easy. Just follow the arrows.
Listens:
479
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, I wouldn't have trusted Orange in that course either.
Listens:
309
Who:
GLaDOS
Machiavellian!
Listens:
1079
Who:
Wheatley
It burns.
Listens:
2860
Who:
Turret
Lady.
Listens:
833
Who:
Core 1
I don't hate you
Listens:
13104
Who:
Turret
Orange, Blue and I were just discussing your behavior on the last few tests.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you trying to get my attention? I am very busy, you know.
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
She is a gem.
Listens:
3065
Who:
Cave Johnson
On ya go.
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
The most poisonous fish in the world is the orange ruffy. Everything but its eyes are made of a deadly poison. The ruffy's eyes are composed of a less harmful, deadly poison.
Listens:
2426
Who:
Core 3
We're so close! Go press the button!
Listens:
1504
Who:
GLaDOS
Bam! Bam bam bam! Take that, space.
Listens:
4157
Who:
Core 1
Here, come and have a look out the window. It's good.
Listens:
310
Who:
Wheatley
Electrocution, shot, drowned, crushed, burned in goo.
Listens:
1292
Who:
GLaDOS
BLUE, please show me where you would like me to place a portal.
Listens:
357
Who:
GLaDOS
Aggggh!
Listens:
348
Who:
Wheatley
I'll just move that out of the way for you. This place really is a wreck.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
Wanna go to earth wanna go to earth wanna go to earth wanna go to earth. Wanna go to earth.
Listens:
2595
Who:
Core 1
If you are a non-employee who has discovered this facility amid the ruins of civilization, welcome! And remember: Testing is the future, and the future starts with you.
Listens:
3486
Who:
Announcer
Don't worry I'm absolutely guaranteeing you 100 percent that it's this way... Oh it's not this way.
Listens:
710
Who:
Wheatley
ONE Catchmecatchmecatchmecatchmecatchme
Listens:
965
Who:
Wheatley
That said, I would really appreciate it if you could test as fast as possible. Caroline, please bring me more pain pills.
Listens:
1636
Who:
Cave Johnson
Look out! I'm right behind you! No, of course I'm not. Saw through that too. Forty feet tall, right in front of you. Not my greatest ruse. To be honest. Still a giant robot, though.
Listens:
1243
Who:
Wheatley
You asked for this!
Listens:
406
Who:
Defective Turret
All right. We're working on a little teleportation experiment. Now, this doesn't work with all skin types, so try to remember which skin is yours, and if it doesn't teleport along with you, we'll do what we can to sew you right back into it.
Listens:
1676
Who:
Cave Johnson
Shutting down
Listens:
13956
Who:
Turret
Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Space!
Listens:
1668
Who:
Core 1
Are you scared to save those humans?
Listens:
290
Who:
GLaDOS
I've got an idea! Do what it says, plug me in!
Listens:
307
Who:
Wheatley
Space. Trial. Puttin' the system on trial. In space. Space system. On trial. Guilty. Of being in space! Going to space jail!
Listens:
35648
Who:
Core 1
Did you know I discovered a way to eradicate poverty? But then you KILLED me. So that's gone.
Listens:
876
Who:
GLaDOS
Well... I'll be here during the whole next test.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!