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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Can't read.
Listens:
326
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on. Get in.
Listens:
298
Who:
Wheatley
No! I'm not listening! I'm not listening!
Listens:
625
Who:
Wheatley
Can you hear that? She has really kicked this place into high gear now.
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
Orange, that transpired just as you said it would.
Listens:
286
Who:
GLaDOS
That extra half volt helps but it isn't going to power miracles. If I think too hard, I'm going to fry this potato before we get a chance to burn up in the atomic fireball that little idiot is going- [bzzpt]
Listens:
3595
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you doing? YOU MONSTER! They're one of us.
Listens:
7217
Who:
GLaDOS
Always weeping. Poor thing.
Listens:
499
Who:
GLaDOS
We are going to shut down her turret production line, turn off her neurotoxin, and then confront her.
Listens:
297
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. Still nothing, let's keep moving.
Listens:
306
Who:
Wheatley
Try something.
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
For this next test, we put nanoparticles in the gel. In layman's terms, that's a billion little gizmos that are gonna travel into your bloodstream and pump experimental genes and RNA molecules and so forth into your tumors.
Listens:
1470
Who:
Cave Johnson
Annnnnnnnd... Nothing.
Listens:
3304
Who:
Wheatley
All right. I'm officially no longer paying attention to you.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, I like this guy.
Listens:
1460
Who:
GLaDOS
The first commercial airline flight took to the air in 1914. Everyone involved screamed the entire way.
Listens:
943
Who:
Core 3
I'm not defective!
Listens:
2295
Who:
Defective Turret
That's funny, I don't feel corrupt. In fact, I feel pretty good.
Listens:
1754
Who:
GLaDOS
No tricks. This potato only generates 1.1 volts of electricity. I literally do not have the energy to lie to you.
Listens:
7306
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey
Listens:
926
Who:
Turret
I've got an idea! Do what it says, plug me in!
Listens:
293
Who:
Wheatley
AHHHHHHHHH!
Listens:
1619
Who:
Turret
Ohhh, the Sun. I'm gonna meet the Sun. Oh no! What'll I say? 'Hi! Hi, Sun!' Oh, boy!
Listens:
3403
Who:
Core 1
Passive-aggressive.
Listens:
435
Who:
GLaDOS
We're not safe yet. Quick! Follow the walkway.
Listens:
284
Who:
Wheatley
Every time you fail, it's a reminder of the way things used to be. But then there you are. Again. Like nothing happened.
Listens:
464
Who:
GLaDOS
Here it is - the turret factory entrance! We made it.
Listens:
286
Who:
Wheatley
Let me give you a clue, it is the one thing you can't do.
Listens:
281
Who:
GLaDOS
Please note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it.
Listens:
1037
Who:
Announcer
Fantastic.
Listens:
884
Who:
Defective Turret
Remember when I first told you how to find that little portal thing you love so much? Thought you'd die on the way, if I'm honest. All the others did.
Listens:
628
Who:
Wheatley
How was that?
Listens:
372
Who:
Defective Turret
Spheres that insist on going into space are inferior to spheres that don't.
Listens:
1018
Who:
Core 3
You didn't think you were the first, did you? [laughs] No. Fifth. No, I lie: Sixth. Perhaps it's best to leave it to your imagination what happened to the other five...
Listens:
839
Who:
Wheatley
Your failure brings back such wonderful memories.
Listens:
662
Who:
GLaDOS
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
3373
Who:
Defective Turret
You can't keep going like this forever, you know. I'm GOING to find out what you're doing. Out there. Where I can't see you. I'll know. All I need is proof.
Listens:
705
Who:
GLaDOS
Still held! Still bein' held. That's a great job. You've applied the grip. We're all fine. That's tremendous.
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
Wanna go to space.
Listens:
1009
Who:
Core 1
Yeah, take the lemons...
Listens:
37878
Who:
GLaDOS
Dull expression.
Listens:
324
Who:
GLaDOS
Calibrating Orange's weight...
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
Nicely Done!
Listens:
599
Who:
Wheatley
Weak, tired and apprehensive. Wow, this one's the total package.
Listens:
521
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you doing no no no no no!
Listens:
1055
Who:
Defective Turret
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
441
Who:
Defective Turret
Help! Being squished!
Listens:
1371
Who:
Turret
Go on. Just jam me in over there.
Listens:
291
Who:
Wheatley
Is anyone there?
Listens:
7655
Who:
Turret
Well... Good. Good. Finally, a nemesis worthy of my vast intellect.
Listens:
706
Who:
Wheatley
Initiating surprise in three... two... one.
Listens:
3546
Who:
GLaDOS
You did it! You powered on the system.
Listens:
573
Who:
GLaDOS
It'll be fine. Get in.
Listens:
318
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, hey, how ya doin'?
Listens:
534
Who:
Defective Turret
Corrupted Core: are you ready to start?
Listens:
2694
Who:
Announcer
Don't plug him in.
Listens:
330
Who:
GLaDOS
Edmund Hillary, the first person to climb Mount Everest, did so accidentally while chasing a bird.
Listens:
1798
Who:
Core 3
Ohhh. I see. [chuckle]
Listens:
665
Who:
Wheatley
Orange, it's not nice to make fun of Blue like that.
Listens:
320
Who:
GLaDOS
I think I can break us out of here in the next chamber. Just play along.
Listens:
301
Who:
GLaDOS
The dual portal device should be around here somewhere. Once you find it, we can start testing. Just like old times.
Listens:
434
Who:
GLaDOS
Hairless. Hm.
Listens:
506
Who:
GLaDOS
Electrocution, shot, drowned, crushed, burned in goo.
Listens:
1259
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm telling 'em, keep your pants on.
Listens:
3612
Who:
Cave Johnson
Before you leave, why don't we do one more test? For old time's sake...
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
GET IN!
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
I know how we can BEAT him.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, give 'em hell, sweetheart!
Listens:
858
Who:
Defective Turret
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
2780
Who:
GLaDOS
The lab boys just informed me that I should not have mentioned the control group. They're telling me I oughtta stop making these pre-recorded messages. That gave me an idea: make more pre-recorded messages. I pay the bills here, I can talk about the control group all damn day.
Listens:
3256
Who:
Cave Johnson
Just stop flailing around like an incompetent.
Listens:
1271
Who:
GLaDOS
[out of breath] Okay. That's probably the bird, isn't it? That laid the eggs! Livid!
Listens:
1007
Who:
Wheatley
Ay. Double Pee-Ell-Ee.
Listens:
455
Who:
Wheatley
Greetings, friend. I'm Cave Johnson, CEO of Aperture Science - you might know us as a vital participant in the 1968 Senate Hearings on missing astronauts. And you've most likely used one of the many products we invented. But that other people have somehow managed to steal from us. Black Mesa can eat my bankrupt--
Listens:
8243
Who:
Cave Johnson
Your test assignment will vary, depending on the manner in which you have bent the world to your will.
Listens:
991
Who:
Cave Johnson
Follow me! You're gonna love this.
Listens:
389
Who:
Wheatley
Humans find that an admirable trait.
Listens:
315
Who:
GLaDOS
ow.
Listens:
619
Who:
GLaDOS
Jump! Actually, looking at it, that is quite a distance, isn't it?
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
You are going to die in this room.
Listens:
761
Who:
Core 3
I thought we fixed that.
Listens:
994
Who:
Defective Turret
Ignores task at hand. Won't for long.
Listens:
488
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, I'll stop the elevator. Anything? Take your time...
Listens:
435
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm starting to think you don't want to rescue the humans.
Listens:
320
Who:
GLaDOS
Why did I just-Who is that? What the HELL is going on he----?
Listens:
1605
Who:
GLaDOS
Without the looming consequence of death, is this even science?
Listens:
1363
Who:
GLaDOS
You don't need to do that.
Listens:
301
Who:
GLaDOS
Volcano-ologists are experts in the study of volcanoes.
Listens:
564
Who:
Core 3
Ah! Perhaps the turrets have found a way to use garrotes. That would explain the extremely... quiet killing. That I'm hearing.
Listens:
712
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, let's try this way.
Listens:
410
Who:
Wheatley
Plus, I put a lot of effort in getting this lair ready for you. It'd certainly teach me a lesson if you simply died, painlessly, twenty feet from the door. I'd be furious. I'd be like RRRRR. I got my just desserts. No more than I deserve. Why not teach me a lesson by jumping in the old masher?
Listens:
827
Who:
Wheatley
Impossible as it is to imagine, there actually is a solution. Devilishly hidden.
Listens:
306
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, I see you.
Listens:
788
Who:
GLaDOS
This is the turret manufacturing wing. Just past this is the neurotoxin production facility. We find a way to take them both offline, and she’ll be helpless. Which is ideal.
Listens:
327
Who:
Wheatley
Your failing gives me no new data, it just delays the inevitable.
Listens:
315
Who:
GLaDOS
What, exactly, is wrong with being adopted?
Listens:
1225
Who:
GLaDOS
Hi there!
Listens:
499
Who:
Defective Turret
Are you going to open this door? Because it's fairly urgent.
Listens:
364
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, this way
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
Hooray!
Listens:
5031
Who:
Turret
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