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Please return to the core transfer bay.
Listens:
1480
Who:
Announcer
Alright, you can turn around now!
Listens:
431
Who:
Wheatley
Stop it!
Listens:
5619
Who:
GLaDOS
I need backup!
Listens:
725
Who:
Turret
NO!
Listens:
570
Who:
GLaDOS
All cooperative testing courses begin at this central hub.
Listens:
372
Who:
GLaDOS
Wait! I've got an idea!
Listens:
413
Who:
GLaDOS
Poor self-esteem.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
Nothing. Nothing.
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. In the event that oxygen is no longer available in the Enrichment Center, an auxiliary air supply will be provided to you by an Aperture Science Test Associate, if one exists.
Listens:
704
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, you are very good at being an example.
Listens:
374
Who:
GLaDOS
Yahh. Gehhh!
Listens:
759
Who:
Wheatley
All I wanted to do was make everything better for me! All you had to do was solve a couple hundred simple tests for a few years. And you couldn't even let me have that, could you?
Listens:
804
Who:
Wheatley
I was getting SO lonely down here. It's good to finally hear someone else's voice. I'm kidding, of course. God, I hate you.
Listens:
20618
Who:
GLaDOS
Firing
Listens:
765
Who:
Turret
Most test subjects do experience some cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension. Now you've been under for... quite a lot longer, and it's not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage.
Listens:
5352
Who:
Wheatley
Violent temper. Oh, I'd like to see that.
Listens:
477
Who:
GLaDOS
And... forty potato batteries. Embarrassing. I realize they’re children. Still: low hanging fruit. Barely science, really.
Listens:
1471
Who:
Wheatley
Orange, how well do you really know Blue? Do you trust Blue?
Listens:
330
Who:
GLaDOS
You're saying to yourself, why should I jump into the pit? I'll tell you why. Guess who's down there? Your parents! You're not adopted after all! It's your natural parents down there in the pit. Should have mentioned it before. But I didn't. So jump on down and reunite with mommy and daddy.
Listens:
3104
Who:
Wheatley
Though it does give me an idea: WHAT if we stand here and let the gentle hum of the laser transport us to a state of absolute relaxation. Might help us think of a way to open the door.
Listens:
362
Who:
Wheatley
This next test involves emancipation grills. Remember? I told you about them in the last test area, that did not have one.
Listens:
321
Who:
GLaDOS
Absolutely no improvement.
Listens:
863
Who:
Defective Turret
I’m on fire.
Listens:
2523
Who:
Turret
Ahh!
Listens:
1464
Who:
Turret
Because of the technical difficulties we are currently experiencing, your test environment is unsupervised.
Listens:
1056
Who:
Announcer
And whose fault do you think it's going to be when the management comes down here and finds ten thousand flipping vegetables?
Listens:
1754
Who:
Wheatley
It worked!
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
Helloooo?
Listens:
1137
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no, don't. Anyway, back to you two imbeciles killing me.
Listens:
906
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's see here, exit exit exit... there is no exit.
Listens:
546
Who:
Wheatley
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
5461
Who:
GLaDOS
Just go.
Listens:
3632
Who:
GLaDOS
This is art. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, stare at the art. [BUZZER]
Listens:
12179
Who:
Announcer
The Tariff Act of 1789, established to protect domestic manufacture, was the second statute ever enacted by the United States government.
Listens:
725
Who:
Core 3
I'm going through the list of test subjects in cryogenic storage. I managed to find two with your last name. A man and a woman. So that's interesting. It's a small world.
Listens:
604
Who:
GLaDOS
While I cannot control the world outside of the testing courses, the reassembly machine can continue with his work.
Listens:
311
Who:
GLaDOS
This place is going to blow up if I don't get back in my body!
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
This is the turret manufacturing wing. Just past this is the neurotoxin production facility. We find a way to take them both offline, and she’ll be helpless. Which is ideal.
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
You did WHAT?
Listens:
3277
Who:
Wheatley
That's it. Scan it for me.
Listens:
678
Who:
GLaDOS
Since making test participation mandatory for all employees, the quality of our test subjects has risen dramatically. Employee retention, however, has not.
Listens:
3016
Who:
Cave Johnson
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
3454
Who:
Defective Turret
Hm. Let's try this way.
Listens:
324
Who:
Wheatley
Good morning. You have been in suspension for -FIFTY- days. In compliance with state and federal regulations, all testing candidates in the Aperture Science Extended Relaxation Center must be revived periodically for a mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise.
Listens:
10540
Who:
Announcer
I don't think I want to go through that again.
Listens:
372
Who:
GLaDOS
You're going to hurt yourself doing that and then I will be ECSTATIC.
Listens:
880
Who:
GLaDOS
Still a work in progress, don't judge me yet. Eventually I'd like to get them to sort of shoot fire at you, moments before crushing you. That's what I'm aiming for. But you know, small steps.
Listens:
1489
Who:
Wheatley
But don't be alarmed, alright? Because ah... well, actually, if you DO feel alarmed, hold onto that. Because the feeling of alarm is the proper reaction to being told you've got massive brain damage. So if you are alarmed, then it suggests the damage is not as serious as we thought. Although it probably is really serious.
Listens:
923
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, now you're just being cruel. Blue receives 25 science collaboration points.
Listens:
413
Who:
GLaDOS
Always weeping. Poor thing.
Listens:
527
Who:
GLaDOS
Coming through!
Listens:
2080
Who:
Turret
Alternate core detected.
Listens:
1691
Who:
Announcer
Blue is first to acquire a Portal Device.
Listens:
405
Who:
GLaDOS
As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers.
Listens:
1608
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, let's do this.
Listens:
455
Who:
Defective Turret
AHHHHHHHHH!
Listens:
1654
Who:
Turret
Gently cleaning the tongue twice a day is the most effective way to fight bad breath.
Listens:
555
Who:
Core 3
That did it! Neurotoxin at zero percent! Yes!
Listens:
377
Who:
Wheatley
Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's going to burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm going to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
Listens:
155171
Who:
Cave Johnson
You two are going to LOVE this big surprise. In fact, you might say that you're both going to love it to death. Love it... until it kills you. Until you're dead.
Listens:
3587
Who:
Wheatley
'Caw! Caw!' Oh, look! There's a bird out here! A Lovely bird. Gorgeous plumage. Majestic. Won't be here long. A lovely bird like that. Once in a lifetime opportunity to see a lovely bird like that. Lovely plumage.
Listens:
4269
Who:
Wheatley
To facilitate collaboration, both of you have been equipped with a ping tool.
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
Owwwww!
Listens:
1446
Who:
Turret
Excuse me
Listens:
2086
Who:
Turret
Wait. Just thought of something? How am I going to get in? You know, being bloody massive and everything.
Listens:
326
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, going on three just gives you too much time to think about it. Let's, uh, go on one this time. Okay, ready?
Listens:
353
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, it's alright. Go ahead.
Listens:
333
Who:
Wheatley
Correct Blue, Orange can't hear you.
Listens:
331
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
737
Who:
Defective Turret
Loves sound of own voice. Well, I can fix that.
Listens:
1106
Who:
GLaDOS
We're still doing science sir.
Listens:
3160
Who:
Caroline
Hmm. This emancipation grill is broken.
Listens:
546
Who:
GLaDOS
Would you mind putting your back towards me? So I can see only your back. And not your face.
Listens:
316
Who:
Wheatley
Do you need real encouragement? Let's see if this helps.
Listens:
428
Who:
GLaDOS
Huh. That was easy.
Listens:
356
Who:
Wheatley
Oh boy.
Listens:
1083
Who:
Core 1
Hello?
Listens:
764
Who:
Wheatley
SOLVE IT! Commanding voice...
Listens:
802
Who:
Wheatley
The likelihood of you dying violently within the next five minutes is eighty-seven point six one percent.
Listens:
1480
Who:
Core 3
Come here, space. I have a secret for you. No, come closer.
Listens:
1898
Who:
Core 1
For that Blue is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
1044
Who:
GLaDOS
Lacks confidence.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
Blah.
Listens:
1500
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
721
Who:
Wheatley
I can't decide which is my favorite; the crushers for crushing you or the reassembly machine for putting you back together so you can be crushed again.
Listens:
502
Who:
GLaDOS
Glorious freedom!
Listens:
23859
Who:
Turret
Alright, so, silent contemplation it is. Mysterious button... Sorry. Sorry. Silence. Do not speak. In the silence. Let the silence descend. Here it comes. One hundred percent silence. From now. By the way, if you come up with any ideas, do flag them up. Don't feel you have to stay quiet because I've said absolute silence. So if you come up with an idea, mention it. Otherwise, absolute silence starting... Now.
Listens:
1871
Who:
Wheatley
HA! The tube's broken! We can ride it straight to her!
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
three
Listens:
696
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, I'll stop the elevator. Anything? Take your time...
Listens:
481
Who:
GLaDOS
four
Listens:
565
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! How's it going? Here I am again!
Listens:
368
Who:
Wheatley
She did all the work.
Listens:
546
Who:
GLaDOS
Aw... hates Mondays.
Listens:
1647
Who:
GLaDOS
The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
Listens:
845
Who:
GLaDOS
Thanks anyway...
Listens:
1190
Who:
Turret
Blue, Orange and I were just discussing your behavior on the last few tests.
Listens:
371
Who:
GLaDOS
Space. Space. Go to space.
Listens:
1093
Who:
Core 1
Whoever wins this battle is clearly superior, and will earn the allegiance of the Fact Sphere.
Listens:
723
Who:
Core 3
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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