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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Mr. Johnson...
Listens:
1443
Who:
Caroline
Orange, to be clear. I was just asking Blue if he trusted you.
Listens:
326
Who:
GLaDOS
You're not going to believe this. I found a sealed off wing. Hundreds - HUNDREDS! - of perfectly good test chambers. Just sitting there. Filled with skeletons. Shook them out. Good as new!
Listens:
1414
Who:
Wheatley
Finish it...
Listens:
384
Who:
Wheatley
No, wait, wait!
Listens:
581
Who:
Defective Turret
You are having so much trouble navigating this space; I wish I could say I created this test.
Listens:
566
Who:
GLaDOS
The first commercial airline flight took to the air in 1914. Everyone involved screamed the entire way.
Listens:
969
Who:
Core 3
Alright, you can go.
Listens:
400
Who:
Defective Turret
Let's go - let's go to space. Let's go to space.
Listens:
1042
Who:
Core 1
Thank you - I can't believe I'm thanking these people - for staggering your way through Aperture Science's propulsion gel testing. You've made some real contributions to society for a change, and for that, humanity is grateful.
Listens:
1506
Who:
Cave Johnson
Not bad. I forgot how good you are at this. You should pace yourself, though. We have A LOT of tests to do.
Listens:
2518
Who:
GLaDOS
Fire detected in the Stalemate Resolution Annex. Extinguishing.
Listens:
2540
Who:
Announcer
They'll probably throw you a party.
Listens:
455
Who:
GLaDOS
Something’s wrong...
Listens:
933
Who:
Turret
Don't think I'm not onto you too, lady. You know what you are? Selfish. I've done nothing but sacrifice to get us here! What have you sacrificed? NOTHING. Zero. All you've done is BOSS ME AROUND. Well, NOW who's the boss? Who's the boss? It's me!
Listens:
2632
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I'm sorry.
Listens:
786
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah. I tell ya. Humans. Love 'em. Just... The way they look is great. And their... folklore. Wonderful isn't it? Very colorful...
Listens:
977
Who:
Wheatley
Atmosphere. Black holes. Astronauts. Nebulas. Jupiter. The Big Dipper.
Listens:
2776
Who:
Core 1
And as soon as I can PROVE it, the laws of robotics allow me to terminate you for being a liar.
Listens:
736
Who:
GLaDOS
Nice catch, Orange.
Listens:
990
Who:
GLaDOS
Am I interrupting your important conversation?
Listens:
530
Who:
GLaDOS
Nobody is going to space, mate!
Listens:
21958
Who:
Wheatley
Are you trying to impress me? What would impress me more is if you never did that again.
Listens:
527
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue is penalized
Listens:
431
Who:
GLaDOS
Baking Soda Volcano. Well, at least it's not a potato battery, I'll give it that. Still not terrifically original, though. Not exactly primary research, even within the child sciences.
Listens:
1081
Who:
Wheatley
Keep it up and you will lose 500 points.
Listens:
891
Who:
GLaDOS
Because of the technical difficulties we are currently experiencing, your test environment is unsupervised.
Listens:
1048
Who:
Announcer
Of course the humans only had one try at it, you can just keep trying.
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry to interject again, but if you do NOT push the button the deadly neurotoxin emitters will come back online, at which point she will most likely fill you to brimming with neurotoxin. Not trying to rush you. Just throwing that out for leisurely digestion in your own time.
Listens:
951
Who:
Wheatley
This way! This way!
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Look at that. It's turning. Ominous. But probably fine. Long as it doesn't start moving up...
Listens:
637
Who:
Wheatley
Anything? Take your time.
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodbye!
Listens:
3466
Who:
Turret
Estás usando este software de traducción de forma incorrecta. Por favor, consulta el manual.
Listens:
7512
Who:
Wheatley
Always sad.
Listens:
585
Who:
GLaDOS
Critical error
Listens:
13677
Who:
Turret
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
554
Who:
Wheatley
Be a shame to miss it, wouldn't it? Just for the old neurotoxin. Neurotoxin will still be here tomorrow. Whereas that bird will be gone any minute. Already got one talon off the branch. Gonna be gone.
Listens:
648
Who:
Wheatley
Agh!
Listens:
328
Who:
Wheatley
It's been fun. Don't come back.
Listens:
3837
Who:
GLaDOS
Yay, Orange is back. Testing can continue.
Listens:
474
Who:
GLaDOS
Thanks!
Listens:
533
Who:
GLaDOS
You're doing great!
Listens:
455
Who:
Core 2
Oh. It's you. Go away.
Listens:
1964
Who:
GLaDOS
Any ideas? Any ideas? No? No, me neither.
Listens:
308
Who:
Wheatley
What's happening? Um. Hmm... Ok.
Listens:
331
Who:
Wheatley
Think about this.
Listens:
480
Who:
GLaDOS
This ain't Marquis of Queensberry Rules, sweetie! Pour on the mustard!
Listens:
597
Who:
Core 2
Alternate core detected.
Listens:
1659
Who:
Announcer
Contrary to popular belief, the Eskimo does not have one hundred different words for snow. They do, however, have two hundred and thirty-four words for fudge.
Listens:
1467
Who:
Core 3
Ohhhhhh, yes she is.
Listens:
428
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, please disregard the following statement: Orange, you have been a shining light in an otherwise ungodly morass of incompetence.
Listens:
611
Who:
GLaDOS
If you had underwear? And a butt? I would pull your underwear... right up your butt.
Listens:
26840
Who:
Core 2
What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control? You know, because, looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire...
Listens:
1426
Who:
Core 2
Well, I'm back. The Aerial Faith Plate in here is sending a distress signal.
Listens:
1385
Who:
GLaDOS
Miss you!
Listens:
774
Who:
GLaDOS
ORANGE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite element from the periodic table.
Listens:
779
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha... That sounded real. No! That was actually an impression of you. Actually. Because you just fell into my trap. My brilliant trap. Just then. I wanted you to trick me into bursting that pipe. You didn't trick me. Seemingly trick me. Gives you false hope. Leads to overconfidence. And that leads to mistakes. Fatal mistakes. It's all part of my plan.
Listens:
2111
Who:
Wheatley
Right. Well, I’m going to take this rail down the back way.
Listens:
378
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Pick me up!
Listens:
676
Who:
Wheatley
One of my best tests and they let plants grow here? Can you believe this? You can't test plants! We tried. They just sit there, never showing pain nor fear.
Listens:
1649
Who:
GLaDOS
Leave me in! Leave me in! Go press it!
Listens:
443
Who:
Wheatley
Alalalawl
Listens:
5664
Who:
Turret
Hello.
Listens:
2930
Who:
Defective Turret
Hold on now. I might not have thought this next part COMPLETELY through.
Listens:
340
Who:
Wheatley
That was fun, wasn't it?
Listens:
387
Who:
Defective Turret
*cough cough* Pressthebutton.
Listens:
7626
Who:
Wheatley
I'm fired, aren't I?
Listens:
2219
Who:
Defective Turret
Look how small you are down there! I can barely see you! Very tiny and insignificant!
Listens:
386
Who:
Wheatley
The answer is beneath us.
Listens:
2110
Who:
Turret
To start preparing for human testing again, I checked an old suggestion box. The number one request? Less deadly tests.
Listens:
434
Who:
GLaDOS
But the real point is - oh, oh! You know what I've just remembered? Football! Kicking a ball around for fun. Cruel, obviously. Humans love it. Metaphor. Should have seen this coming.
Listens:
2226
Who:
Wheatley
Initiating surprise in three... two... one.
Listens:
3611
Who:
GLaDOS
Lacks charisma.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
Shootin' blanks every time, ALL the time.
Listens:
1351
Who:
Defective Turret
Coming through!
Listens:
2066
Who:
Turret
Hey, thanks so much!
Listens:
758
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh, what? How stupid does she think we are?
Listens:
453
Who:
Wheatley
The humans accidentally forgot to put a security DVD in the player.
Listens:
372
Who:
GLaDOS
Best of luck, lady!
Listens:
454
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey.
Listens:
855
Who:
Core 1
Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I'm sorry. You didn't react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane. That's why I had to call you garbage a second time just now.
Listens:
4198
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Yes. Well done.
Listens:
1057
Who:
Wheatley
William Shakespeare did not exist. His plays were masterminded in 1589 by Francis Bacon, who used a Ouija board to enslave play-writing ghosts.
Listens:
3033
Who:
Core 3
Okay, fine. Let's all act like humans. 'Look at me. Boy, do I love sweating. Let's convert beef and leaves into energy and excrete them later and go shopping.'
Listens:
47042
Who:
GLaDOS
Before the invention of scrambled eggs in 1912, the typical breakfast was either whole eggs still in the shell or scrambled rocks.
Listens:
1128
Who:
Core 3
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
633
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh, it hasn't done it.
Listens:
293
Who:
Wheatley
Coming! Coming! Don't start yet!
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
Who said that?
Listens:
581
Who:
Defective Turret
You won't regret this!
Listens:
692
Who:
Defective Turret
The surge of emotion that shot through me when I saved your life taught me an even more valuable lesson: where Caroline lives in my brain.
Listens:
1350
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm trouble.
Listens:
380
Who:
Defective Turret
Look!
Listens:
459
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange is first to acquire a Portal Device.
Listens:
645
Who:
GLaDOS
Pop a portal. Behind me, on the wall. Come on through.
Listens:
308
Who:
Wheatley
And a monitor. Yes. That'll be important, I imagine. I'll keep my eye on that. In case something useful comes up like 'password identified' or something like that.
Listens:
390
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I'll take that as a no, then. Fine. Well. May the best man win. Sphere. May the best sphere win. Swap that in. Much more clever. Books.
Listens:
850
Who:
Wheatley
Wait wait wait wait. I know I know I know. Lady wait. Wait. I know. Wait. Space.
Listens:
2748
Who:
Core 1
I'm not going to lie to you, the odds are a million to one. And that's with some generous rounding.
Listens:
991
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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