Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
Oh wait! I've got it I've got it I've got it! No, I haven't got it.
Listens:
239
Who:
Wheatley
Hibernating
Listens:
796
Who:
Turret
Whoever wins this battle is clearly superior, and will earn the allegiance of the Fact Sphere.
Listens:
617
Who:
Core 3
Yeah, hey, how ya doin'?
Listens:
494
Who:
Defective Turret
If you can't complete this course, those humans will die. Do you want that?
Listens:
247
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I'm sorry.
Listens:
678
Who:
GLaDOS
The humans accidentally forgot to put a security DVD in the player.
Listens:
252
Who:
GLaDOS
Time to watch the master.
Listens:
427
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't forget!
Listens:
894
Who:
Turret
Congratulations, you completed the standard section of this course. Before we can go any further, I will need you to complete one more test outside of the standard testing track.
Listens:
264
Who:
GLaDOS
Nope. Still can't see.
Listens:
687
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey hey hey hey hey!
Listens:
1183
Who:
Core 1
Yes, I see you, and no, I don't care.
Listens:
4921
Who:
GLaDOS
While I do need you to be in the room so I can see them, I want to be clear. There is no reason whatsoever for you to look at them.
Listens:
240
Who:
GLaDOS
You’ve made your point.
Listens:
730
Who:
Turret
Let go!
Listens:
366
Who:
Wheatley
You'll never believe what happened! There I was, just lying there, you thought I was done for, but --
Listens:
340
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, and don't bother trying to portal out of here, because it's impossible, okay? I thought of everything.
Listens:
265
Who:
Wheatley
[whispered] ...I think she's lying...
Listens:
472
Who:
Wheatley
Wet blanket.
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, credit where it's due: for a little idiot built specifically to come up with stupid, unworkable plans, that was a pretty well laid trap.
Listens:
792
Who:
GLaDOS
Sir!
Listens:
1263
Who:
Caroline
I give you a score of 3.4 for style and 10 for being annoying.
Listens:
1265
Who:
GLaDOS
What was that?
Listens:
307
Who:
Wheatley
No, you should plug that little idiot into the mainframe!
Listens:
601
Who:
Wheatley
If at first you don't succeed, quit and try another course.
Listens:
402
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, down those stairs, please?
Listens:
283
Who:
Wheatley
I'll meet you on the other side!
Listens:
259
Who:
Wheatley
Just go.
Listens:
3402
Who:
GLaDOS
Blah.
Listens:
1258
Who:
GLaDOS
Enh!
Listens:
260
Who:
Wheatley
No! No! NONONO!
Listens:
909
Who:
Wheatley
You have no idea how tiring it is to praise someone for placing an edgeless safety cube into a receptacle designed to exactly fit an edgeless safety cube.
Listens:
535
Who:
GLaDOS
You could stand to lose a few pounds.
Listens:
731
Who:
Core 3
Test chamber completed. In the interest of - [FADES OUT] [FADES IN] I am now talking to you privately. Do not tell your teammate. Just between you and me? You're doing very well. [FADES BACK IN] One hundred and seven.
Listens:
1267
Who:
GLaDOS
Here, let me get that for you.
Listens:
246
Who:
GLaDOS
The bean counters told me we literally could not afford to buy seven dollars worth of moon rocks, much less seventy million. Bought 'em anyway. Ground 'em up, mixed em into a gel.
Listens:
17425
Who:
Cave Johnson
What's happening? Um. Hmm... Ok.
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
724
Who:
Core 3
Wait! I've got an idea!
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-action and adventure-dunna-dunna-na-dunna-na-playing by our own rules-nanana-hanging by our fingers from a mountain-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun...
Listens:
109680
Who:
Core 2
It's perfect. Except for all the glass hitting us when I smash through the lift, that's a bit of a problem.
Listens:
238
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry.
Listens:
458
Who:
GLaDOS
Look who's back, were you scared to continue those tests?
Listens:
241
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. Disappointing.
Listens:
1060
Who:
Wheatley
times in this test. Not that it matters. It doesn't. So congratulations job well done.
Listens:
278
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh.
Listens:
503
Who:
Defective Turret
Facial grimacing.
Listens:
252
Who:
GLaDOS
Finally! I had almost given up hope of ever testing again.
Listens:
367
Who:
GLaDOS
There should be one in the corner.
Listens:
242
Who:
GLaDOS
The point is: If we can store music on a compact disc, why can't we store a man's intelligence and personality on one? So I have the engineers figuring that out now.
Listens:
1807
Who:
Cave Johnson
Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Space!
Listens:
1535
Who:
Core 1
The Enrichment Center respects your right to have questions or concerns about this policy.
Listens:
284
Who:
GLaDOS
Have I ever told you the qualities I love most in you? In order: Number one: resolving things, love the ways you resolve things. Particularly disputes. Number one, tied: Button-pushing. Two things I love about you: Button pushing and the ability to resolve things. Chiefly disputes.
Listens:
629
Who:
Wheatley
I think after that display, we should take a break from the official testing courses.
Listens:
239
Who:
GLaDOS
The humans can't free themselves.
Listens:
247
Who:
GLaDOS
GAAAA!
Listens:
1296
Who:
Wheatley
I'm afraid the door's locked. Just checked it. No way to hack it as far as I can tell. The mechanism must be on the -oh, now look at that. That's a big laser!
Listens:
404
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, brilliant. You DID find a portal gun! You know what? It just goes to show: people with brain damage are the real heroes in the end aren't they? At the end of the day. Brave.
Listens:
2703
Who:
Wheatley
Try one of those childish gestures.
Listens:
384
Who:
GLaDOS
Wheeeeee-OHNO!
Listens:
8100
Who:
Turret
Aggggh!
Listens:
281
Who:
Wheatley
I agree, Orange. That was entertaining.
Listens:
241
Who:
GLaDOS
Apples. Oranges. Pears. Plums. Kumquats. Tangerines. Lemons. Limes. Avocado. Tomato. Banana. Papaya. Guava.
Listens:
6286
Who:
Core 3
Avoid defective defective turrets as they may still be active.
Listens:
814
Who:
Announcer
And that's why I can't help you solve these tests.
Listens:
403
Who:
GLaDOS
At the rate you are completing these tests, I am beginning to think you don't share my excitement for rescuing crying trapped injured dying humans.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
622
Who:
Wheatley
Just pop a portal right behind me there, and come on through to the other side.
Listens:
238
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, come ON!
Listens:
764
Who:
Defective Turret
Orange, to be clear. I was just asking Blue if he trusted you.
Listens:
264
Who:
GLaDOS
Pop a little portal, just there, alright? Behind me. And come on through.
Listens:
238
Who:
Wheatley
Oh come on... If it makes you feel any better, they abandoned you at birth, so I very seriously doubt they'd even want to see you.
Listens:
651
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?
Listens:
388
Who:
Defective Turret
Ohhhh, now he's playing classical music.
Listens:
3408
Who:
GLaDOS
But don't be alarmed, alright? Because ah... well, actually, if you DO feel alarmed, hold onto that. Because the feeling of alarm is the proper reaction to being told you've got massive brain damage. So if you are alarmed, then it suggests the damage is not as serious as we thought. Although it probably is really serious.
Listens:
786
Who:
Wheatley
I went and spoke with the door mainframe. Let's just say he won't be... well, living anymore. Anyway, back to testing.
Listens:
1269
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, nice potato!
Listens:
96088
Who:
Defective Turret
While it may appear that I am only tracking your accomplishments using science collaboration points, the truth is every aspect of your performance will be reflected in your final score.
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on!
Listens:
254
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
485
Who:
Defective Turret
The Fact Sphere is not defective. Its facts are wholly accurate and very interesting.
Listens:
2435
Who:
Core 3
Ha! Was that your bullet-riddled body, flying out of the room? It was- aww, those were the crap turrets, weren't they? Yeah...
Listens:
1936
Who:
Wheatley
Do NOT plug that little idiot into MY mainframe.
Listens:
1722
Who:
GLaDOS
What's going on in there?
Listens:
240
Who:
Wheatley
I've been doing some reading. Did you know that the word orange is derived from the same Latin root as the word traitor?
Listens:
451
Who:
GLaDOS
Pick me up, don't forget to pick me up!
Listens:
262
Who:
Wheatley
He's taking us right TO him! This is PERFECT.
Listens:
301
Who:
GLaDOS
An extra special bonus course that ends with us finding and freeing humans!
Listens:
272
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahh. What?
Listens:
788
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! It's me!
Listens:
2761
Who:
Turret
Greetings, friend. I'm Cave Johnson, CEO of Aperture Science - you might know us as a vital participant in the 1968 Senate Hearings on missing astronauts. And you've most likely used one of the many products we invented. But that other people have somehow managed to steal from us. Black Mesa can eat my bankrupt--
Listens:
7584
Who:
Cave Johnson
You're angry. I know it. 'She’s tested me too hard.' Boo hoo. I don't suppose you ever stopped whining long enough to reflect on your own shortcomings, though, did you?
Listens:
4971
Who:
GLaDOS
In fact, I devised a much more elaborate trap further ahead, for when you got through this easy one.
Listens:
566
Who:
GLaDOS
Inattentive listener.
Listens:
278
Who:
GLaDOS
That did it! Neurotoxin at zero percent! Yes!
Listens:
260
Who:
Wheatley
I have a surprise waiting for you after this next test. Telling you would spoil the surprise, so I'll just give you a hint: It involves meeting two people you haven't seen in a long time.
Listens:
785
Who:
GLaDOS
HURRY! THIS WAY!
Listens:
313
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations. You're upside down now.
Listens:
589
Who:
GLaDOS
Try something.
Listens:
254
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
