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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Come on. Ohhhh. Hit me with it.
Listens:
607
Who:
Wheatley
You seem to have defeated its load-bearing capacity. Well done. I'll just lower the ceiling.
Listens:
577
Who:
GLaDOS
Error. Error. Error. Fact not found.
Listens:
1395
Who:
Core 3
Oh really. That's what the two of you think, is it?
Listens:
331
Who:
Wheatley
I might have pushed that moron thing a little too far this time.
Listens:
1108
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. Hi.
Listens:
2352
Who:
GLaDOS
Annnnd we're back!
Listens:
906
Who:
Defective Turret
Good news! I can use this equipment to shut down the neurotoxin system. It is, however, password protected. AH! Alarm bells! No. Don't worry. Not a problem for me.
Listens:
573
Who:
Wheatley
It's still going down! Keep it up!
Listens:
349
Who:
Wheatley
Spinny-blade-wall!
Listens:
694
Who:
Wheatley
Do, uh.... we get some eyes at some point?
Listens:
725
Who:
Defective Turret
Hurry! This way!
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
Luckily, you don't feel pain. At any rate, you don't have a way to communicate that you feel pain.
Listens:
618
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you have a gun? Because I should really have a gun. What is that thing you're holding?
Listens:
593
Who:
Core 2
[yelling]
Listens:
662
Who:
Wheatley
I'm actually asking. Because I have no idea. He's not listed anywhere in the employee database.
Listens:
537
Who:
GLaDOS
You like revenge, right? Everybody likes revenge. Well, let's go get some.
Listens:
2892
Who:
GLaDOS
It's probably nothing. Keep testing while I look for a way out.
Listens:
315
Who:
GLaDOS
It's not like I've got hordes of replacement monitors just lying around back here in the old warehouse that I can just wheel out an bolt back on. I didn't order in loads of spare monitors thinking some crazy woman was going to go around smashing them all. Sorry if that's my fault. Sorry if I didn't have the forethought to think oh she might go crazy one day instead of just getting on with things. Sorry I didn't think of that.
Listens:
9095
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! It's going faster, which I was... not expecting.
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
One minute ago. Less than one minute ago you solved this puzzle. Now you're having problems.
Listens:
792
Who:
Wheatley
Tell it to the bad guy. Maybe you'll make him so bored his brain'll explode.
Listens:
593
Who:
Core 2
Error. Error. Error. File not found.
Listens:
1340
Who:
Core 3
I'm starting to think you don't want to rescue the humans.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't worry I'm absolutely guaranteeing you 100 percent that it's this way... Oh it's not this way.
Listens:
722
Who:
Wheatley
Enh!
Listens:
347
Who:
Wheatley
Now let's continue testing.
Listens:
1164
Who:
GLaDOS
It'll be fine. Get in.
Listens:
347
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Listen. I can't do it with you watching. I know it seems pathetic, given what we've been through. But just turn around. Please?
Listens:
339
Who:
Wheatley
Excellent.
Listens:
895
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no! nonononono!
Listens:
14526
Who:
Wheatley
I hope you brought something stronger than a portal gun this time.
Listens:
1298
Who:
GLaDOS
I know how humans make more humans, and frankly, it's ridiculous. It also assumes that you already have a human, which I hope somebody got fired over. So I came up a with BETTER way.
Listens:
24081
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not press that button!
Listens:
906
Who:
Wheatley
We made it we made it we made it we made it...
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! How's it going? Here I am again!
Listens:
362
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations on completing the Aperture Science standard cooperative testing courses.
Listens:
528
Who:
GLaDOS
Always sad.
Listens:
588
Who:
GLaDOS
I think we're in trouble.
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome back to the hub, did you fail at selecting the correct course?
Listens:
503
Who:
GLaDOS
There is a framed painting on the wall. Please go stand in front of it.
Listens:
1485
Who:
Announcer
No one has ever completed this test before. The humans must have reconfigured it from my original plans.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
If at first you don't succeed, quit and try another course.
Listens:
482
Who:
GLaDOS
That's not funny.
Listens:
1865
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what? Just get in the lift. We'll iron out the details as we go.
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
The hardest part of any hack is the figuring-out-how-to-start phase. That's always tricky. But... Let the games begin.
Listens:
952
Who:
Wheatley
I know you like to think the reassembly machine is at your beck and call, but he has a life you know. He's not your slave.
Listens:
381
Who:
GLaDOS
Which involves deadly lasers and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly lasers.
Listens:
1061
Who:
GLaDOS
Is it fun when you degrade yourselves like that?
Listens:
1254
Who:
GLaDOS
But don't be alarmed, alright? Although, if you do feel alarm, try to hold onto that feeling because that is the proper reaction to being told you have brain damage.
Listens:
947
Who:
Wheatley
Done. I guess. I suppose. I wasn't paying attention.
Listens:
456
Who:
GLaDOS
Oo. Oo. Oo. Lady. Oo. Lady. Oo. Let's go to space.
Listens:
19027
Who:
Core 1
Stay casual when I tell you this: I think I smell neurotoxin.
Listens:
444
Who:
Wheatley
Did you guess 'sharks'? Because that's wrong. The correct answer is 'nobody.' Nobody but you is that pointlessly cruel.
Listens:
4257
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, that's funny, is it? Because we've been at this twelve hours and you haven't solved it either, so I don't know why you're laughing.
Listens:
962
Who:
Wheatley
Before you leave, why don't we do one more test? For old time's sake...
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's look at their files...
Listens:
477
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, it's alright. Go ahead.
Listens:
327
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is not defective. Its facts are wholly accurate and very interesting.
Listens:
2585
Who:
Core 3
I hate you so much.
Listens:
14105
Who:
GLaDOS
Help me, space cops. Space cops, help.
Listens:
4024
Who:
Core 1
Wanna go to -- wanna go to space
Listens:
1026
Who:
Core 1
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
7305
Who:
GLaDOS
Pleased to meetcha.
Listens:
967
Who:
Defective Turret
Who's there?
Listens:
2083
Who:
Turret
Sorry, what?
Listens:
2256
Who:
Wheatley
Never listens.
Listens:
396
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, look. There's a deer! You probably can't see it. Get closer.
Listens:
1374
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, you bested me this time.
Listens:
408
Who:
Defective Turret
Warning! Neurotoxin pressure has reached dangerously unlethal levels.
Listens:
5410
Who:
Announcer
Do you understand what I'm saying? Just tell me 'Yes'.
Listens:
330
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, wait, let me light this path for you.
Listens:
308
Who:
Wheatley
Dreams are the subconscious mind's way of reminding people to go to school naked and have their teeth fall out.
Listens:
1319
Who:
Core 3
No, that's right. Over by the podium, yeah.
Listens:
321
Who:
Wheatley
You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
Listens:
571
Who:
GLaDOS
At some point in their lives 1 in 6 children will be abducted by the Dutch.
Listens:
5883
Who:
Core 3
Turret redemption lines are not rides, please exit the turret redemption line.
Listens:
1344
Who:
Announcer
Chews with mouth open.
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
I was able - well, forced really - to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever.
Listens:
877
Who:
GLaDOS
Locked and loaded!
Listens:
580
Who:
Defective Turret
I don't want to drive a wedge between the two of you, but I've been studying Blue's performance, and I don't know how to put this... I'm certain you're trying very hard.
Listens:
1065
Who:
GLaDOS
Undelete, undelete! Where's the undelete button?
Listens:
2688
Who:
Wheatley
An extra special bonus course that ends with us finding and freeing humans!
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
If that doesn't motivate you, I'm not sure what will.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
What?
Listens:
414
Who:
Wheatley
I've been doing some reading. Did you know that the word orange is derived from the same Latin root as the word traitor?
Listens:
576
Who:
GLaDOS
So, when you kill that guy, do you have a cool line? You know, prepared? Tell you what: Lemme help you with that while you run around.
Listens:
530
Who:
Core 2
She’s probably okay.
Listens:
743
Who:
Turret
I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
590
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. Disappointing.
Listens:
1180
Who:
Wheatley
I think he's getting desperate.
Listens:
301
Who:
GLaDOS
Also: Look at her, you moron. She's not fat.
Listens:
3674
Who:
GLaDOS
Always sulking.
Listens:
314
Who:
GLaDOS
Always cold.
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
Wait, what if this hurts? What if it REALLY hurts? Ohhh, I didn't think of that.
Listens:
2025
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
993
Who:
Defective Turret
While the submarine is vastly superior to the boat in every way, over 97% of people still use boats for aquatic transportation.
Listens:
853
Who:
Core 3
Good morning. You have been in suspension for nine nine nine... nine nine ni- This courtesy call is to inform you that all test subjects should immediately vacate [FADES OUT]
Listens:
29065
Who:
Announcer
And what else is down there... Tell you what, it's only a new jumpsuit. A very trendy designer jumpsuit from France. Down there. Which is exactly your size. And if it's a bit baggy, we got a tailor down there as well who can take it in for you
Listens:
832
Who:
Wheatley
You're not just a regular moron. You were DESIGNED to be a moron.
Listens:
28050
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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