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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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The Mexican-American War ended in 1848 with the signing of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo.
Listens:
599
Who:
Core 3
Once, they even attached an Intelligence Dampening Sphere on me. It clung to my brain like a tumor, generating an endless stream of terrible ideas.
Listens:
1322
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on. Just... March on through that hole.
Listens:
291
Who:
Wheatley
This is Tic-Tac-Toe-Two.
Listens:
868
Who:
GLaDOS
If groups of hunter-gatherers appear to have made this - or any - test chamber their home, DO NOT AGITATE THEM. Test through them.
Listens:
450
Who:
GLaDOS
Whee!
Listens:
2255
Who:
Turret
In the event that it does, this next test involves exposure to cattle tuberculosis. Good luck!
Listens:
752
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, hello! No, we're not stopping!
Listens:
789
Who:
Wheatley
Go press the button! Go press it!
Listens:
1056
Who:
GLaDOS
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
899
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on.
Listens:
917
Who:
Wheatley
You're okay! Great! Come on!
Listens:
315
Who:
Wheatley
I can't decide which is my favorite; the crushers for crushing you or the reassembly machine for putting you back together so you can be crushed again.
Listens:
481
Who:
GLaDOS
On the floor. Needing your help. The whole time. All the time. Needing your help.
Listens:
309
Who:
Wheatley
Sentry mode activated
Listens:
1965
Who:
Turret
Core transfer?
Listens:
811
Who:
GLaDOS
Can you see the portal gun?
Listens:
520
Who:
Wheatley
Stay still, please.
Listens:
627
Who:
Wheatley
No, no, I'm sure it's this way. I'm definitely sure it's this way.
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
I heard gunfire! A bit late for this, but look out for gunfire! Probably doesn't help at this point, but I have at least tried.
Listens:
488
Who:
Wheatley
Say, you're good at murder. Could you - ow - murder this bird for me?
Listens:
4401
Who:
GLaDOS
How can you fail at this? It isn't even a test.
Listens:
1667
Who:
GLaDOS
Listen to me. We had a lot of fun testing and antagonizing each other, and, yes, sometimes it went too far. But we're off the clock now. It's just us talking. Like regular people. And this is no joke - we are in deep trouble.
Listens:
911
Who:
GLaDOS
Shutting down
Listens:
13956
Who:
Turret
Finish it...
Listens:
378
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I tried.
Listens:
855
Who:
Defective Turret
There's another wall over here!
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
I see you
Listens:
2926
Who:
Turret
Press the button again.
Listens:
1078
Who:
GLaDOS
Space space wanna go to space yes please space. Space space. Go to space.
Listens:
18751
Who:
Core 1
Warning: Core corruption at 100 percent.
Listens:
6679
Who:
Announcer
Ohhhhhhh, that's tremendous.
Listens:
546
Who:
Wheatley
Space.
Listens:
1025
Who:
Core 1
Well, hello, stranger!
Listens:
3866
Who:
Defective Turret
You did an excellent job placing the edgeless safety cube in the receptacle, you should be very - oh wait.
Listens:
574
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I've just gotta concentrate!
Listens:
320
Who:
Wheatley
There it is.
Listens:
423
Who:
GLaDOS
Progress report: Haven't really made any in-roads!
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
Thanks!
Listens:
528
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, so, silent contemplation it is. Mysterious button... Sorry. Sorry. Silence. Do not speak. In the silence. Let the silence descend. Here it comes. One hundred percent silence. From now. By the way, if you come up with any ideas, do flag them up. Don't feel you have to stay quiet because I've said absolute silence. So if you come up with an idea, mention it. Otherwise, absolute silence starting... Now.
Listens:
1817
Who:
Wheatley
Earth earth earth.
Listens:
1075
Who:
Core 1
You know when I mentioned ten minutes? A little bit optimistic!
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
Hello.
Listens:
2906
Who:
Defective Turret
Look - metal ball, I CAN hear you.
Listens:
1806
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, DON'T PANIC! I can still stop it, not a problem. There's a password! I'll just hack it. Here we go.
Listens:
994
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
722
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, I'm about to start hacking. It's a little more complicated than it looked from your side. It should take about ten minutes. Keep one eye on the door.
Listens:
793
Who:
Wheatley
So. Welcome to Aperture. You're here because we want the best, and you're it. Nope. Couldn't keep a straight face.
Listens:
3343
Who:
Cave Johnson
I don't hate you
Listens:
13103
Who:
Turret
Orange, I agree. I never noticed that about Blue before.
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm done.
Listens:
1327
Who:
GLaDOS
Blah.
Listens:
1415
Who:
GLaDOS
Corrupted core, are you ready to start the procedure?
Listens:
1512
Who:
Announcer
Ha... That sounded real. No! That was actually an impression of you. Actually. Because you just fell into my trap. My brilliant trap. Just then. I wanted you to trick me into bursting that pipe. You didn't trick me. Seemingly trick me. Gives you false hope. Leads to overconfidence. And that leads to mistakes. Fatal mistakes. It's all part of my plan.
Listens:
2096
Who:
Wheatley
You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello?
Listens:
800
Who:
Wheatley
Pff. Whatever.
Listens:
586
Who:
Core 2
Please get it off me.
Listens:
545
Who:
GLaDOS
The occupation of court jester was invented accidentally, when a vassal's epilepsy was mistaken for capering.
Listens:
693
Who:
Core 3
clickclickclick
Listens:
481
Who:
Defective Turret
But you were different weren't you? Such a good jumper. Problem solver. Clever. But ambitious. That's your Achilles Heel. Mine's-oh! Oh! Almost told you. Clever, clever girl. Again: brain damaged like a fox, you.
Listens:
2277
Who:
Wheatley
Wanna go to -- wanna go to space
Listens:
1020
Who:
Core 1
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork, and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other's performance so far.
Listens:
1155
Who:
GLaDOS
Are we in space yet? What's the hold-up? Gotta go to space. Gotta go to SPACE.
Listens:
1554
Who:
Core 1
Holmes versus Moriarty.
Listens:
2230
Who:
Wheatley
You know what I hope's in space? Fire. I hope you go to space and catch on fire.
Listens:
5486
Who:
Core 2
You didn't think you were the first, did you? [laughs] No. Fifth. No, I lie: Sixth. Perhaps it's best to leave it to your imagination what happened to the other five...
Listens:
846
Who:
Wheatley
Dispensing product
Listens:
1654
Who:
Turret
Hey hey hey hey hey!
Listens:
1247
Who:
Core 1
Oh, it's fluttering its wings. Tell you what, mate. I'll come in there for a minute and cover you so you can have a look at this lovely bird! I'll come in. I'll do all the neurotoxin stuff. And then you come out here and look at this. Because it is lovely. It is lovely. You want to get out here fast. Seriously, my pleasure sounds are going to frighten the bird away any second. Ohhh, it's not working, is it? He's not interested in bloody birds.
Listens:
3201
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Good news! [electic pop] Nevermind.
Listens:
6698
Who:
Wheatley
We are going to shut down her turret production line, turn off her neurotoxin, and then confront her.
Listens:
318
Who:
Wheatley
It DOES sound rude. I'm not going to lie to you. It DOES sound rude. It's not. Put me right on it. Stick me in.
Listens:
817
Who:
Wheatley
In case you're interested, there's still some positions available for that bonus opportunity I mentioned earlier. Again: all you gotta do is let us disassemble you. We're not banging rocks together here. We know how to put a man back together.
Listens:
1675
Who:
Cave Johnson
The lab boys just informed me that I should not have mentioned the control group. They're telling me I oughtta stop making these pre-recorded messages. That gave me an idea: make more pre-recorded messages. I pay the bills here, I can talk about the control group all damn day.
Listens:
3295
Who:
Cave Johnson
Yay, Blue is back. Testing can continue.
Listens:
730
Who:
GLaDOS
At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
Listens:
612
Who:
GLaDOS
Before the Wright Brothers invented the airplane, anyone wanting to fly anywhere was required to eat 200 pounds of helium.
Listens:
1121
Who:
Core 3
Moody.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
Moves lips while reading.
Listens:
388
Who:
GLaDOS
That worked just like you said it would, Blue.
Listens:
314
Who:
GLaDOS
Powerup complete.
Listens:
3751
Who:
Announcer
It's been a pleasure!
Listens:
463
Who:
Defective Turret
No! NO! NO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
Listens:
73316
Who:
GLaDOS
Just say 'Apple'. Easy word, isn't it? 'Apple'.
Listens:
874
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! How'd you like that?
Listens:
434
Who:
Core 2
Then there was a sort of long chunk of time where absolutely nothing happened and then there's us escaping now. So that's pretty much the whole story, you're up to speed. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
573
Who:
Wheatley
Dang!
Listens:
550
Who:
Defective Turret
Have you worked out the one good trait humans have, yet?
Listens:
566
Who:
GLaDOS
Thank you - I can't believe I'm thanking these people - for staggering your way through Aperture Science's propulsion gel testing. You've made some real contributions to society for a change, and for that, humanity is grateful.
Listens:
1492
Who:
Cave Johnson
Alright, can't blame me for trying. Okay... New tests, new tests... there's gotta be some tests around here somewhere.
Listens:
1537
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, orange isn't a human. The lesson on trust only needs to be taught once. Blue is penalized 1 science collaboration point.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
Sleep mode activated
Listens:
6418
Who:
Turret
Give me another channnnce!
Listens:
800
Who:
Defective Turret
And whose fault do you think it's going to be when the management comes down here and finds ten thousand flipping vegetables?
Listens:
1687
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no no no... No! Nooo!
Listens:
9842
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Pick me up!
Listens:
674
Who:
Wheatley
Where'd you go? Come back! Come back!
Listens:
676
Who:
Wheatley
Did I hit it? I hit it, didn't I?
Listens:
477
Who:
Defective Turret
Good. For him. Alright, back to thinking.
Listens:
555
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you scared to save those humans?
Listens:
304
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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