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Of course the humans only had one try at it, you can just keep trying.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
See you soon!
Listens:
923
Who:
Turret
The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects.
Listens:
547
Who:
Wheatley
Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's going to burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm going to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
Listens:
154060
Who:
Cave Johnson
Alright, now. She can't use her turrets. So let's go and take care of that neurotoxin generator as well.
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
Better yet, don't say anything.
Listens:
290
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. What you're doing there is jumping. You just... you just jumped. But nevermind. Say 'Apple'. 'Aaaapple.'
Listens:
3673
Who:
Wheatley
AH!
Listens:
647
Who:
Wheatley
Those of you helping us test the repulsion gel today, just follow the blue line on the floor.
Listens:
1051
Who:
Cave Johnson
NO!
Listens:
564
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes.
Listens:
632
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, I like this guy.
Listens:
1538
Who:
GLaDOS
I give you a score of 3.4 for style and 10 for being annoying.
Listens:
1412
Who:
GLaDOS
You're saying to yourself, why should I jump into the pit? I'll tell you why. Guess who's down there? Your parents! You're not adopted after all! It's your natural parents down there in the pit. Should have mentioned it before. But I didn't. So jump on down and reunite with mommy and daddy.
Listens:
3044
Who:
Wheatley
Oh for... They told me if I ever turned this flashlight on, I would DIE. They told me that about EVERYTHING. I don't know why they even bothered to give me this stuff if they didn't want me usin' it. It's pointless. Mad.
Listens:
2032
Who:
Wheatley
Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center.
Listens:
9388
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, being Caroline taught me a valuable lesson. I thought you were my greatest enemy. When all along you were my best friend.
Listens:
1863
Who:
GLaDOS
It's probably nothing. Keep testing while I look for a way out.
Listens:
314
Who:
GLaDOS
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other’s performance so far.
Listens:
459
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes! Come on!
Listens:
860
Who:
GLaDOS
I spy with my little eye, something that starts with 'f'.
Listens:
458
Who:
Wheatley
Come closer.
Listens:
686
Who:
Turret
Very impressive! Because this message is prerecorded, any comments we may make about your success are speculation on our part. Please disregard any undeserved compliments.
Listens:
1395
Who:
GLaDOS
I hate you so much.
Listens:
14047
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't want to alarm either of you, but we might have a tiny problem. Apparently you can't test unless you're human. Well - you CAN. It's just that, results-wise, the physical universe doesn't care.
Listens:
1182
Who:
GLaDOS
Where'd you go?
Listens:
398
Who:
Wheatley
Calibrating Orange's weight...
Listens:
319
Who:
GLaDOS
The lab boys just informed me that I should not have mentioned the control group. They're telling me I oughtta stop making these pre-recorded messages. That gave me an idea: make more pre-recorded messages. I pay the bills here, I can talk about the control group all damn day.
Listens:
3339
Who:
Cave Johnson
What are you doing, are you just having a little five minutes to yourself? Fair enough. You've had a rough time. You've been asleep for who knows how long. You've got the massive brain damage. And you're having a little rest. But NOW. Get yourself up. And pick me up.
Listens:
1175
Who:
Wheatley
I can't bite my tongue anymore: You could solve this puzzle faster on your own. Orange is dragging you down. There. I've said it.
Listens:
688
Who:
GLaDOS
A somersault is just falling over in style. Congratulations on being clumsy.
Listens:
446
Who:
GLaDOS
Great job, astronaut, war hero, and/or Olympian! With your help, we're gonna [tape cuts out]
Listens:
2043
Who:
Cave Johnson
Did you guess 'sharks'? Because that's wrong. The correct answer is 'nobody.' Nobody but you is that pointlessly cruel.
Listens:
4244
Who:
GLaDOS
That is a potato battery. It's a toy for children. And now she lives in it.
Listens:
3772
Who:
Wheatley
You are having so much trouble navigating this space; I wish I could say I created this test.
Listens:
566
Who:
GLaDOS
I've been really busy being dead. You know, after you MURDERED ME.
Listens:
8043
Who:
GLaDOS
Where do I get my gun?
Listens:
772
Who:
Defective Turret
We are?
Listens:
695
Who:
Core 1
Stop with the waves.
Listens:
356
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange is awarded five points!
Listens:
290
Who:
GLaDOS
It's like you're just machines.
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, check THIS out.
Listens:
382
Who:
Defective Turret
You don't need to do that.
Listens:
328
Who:
GLaDOS
To start preparing for human testing again, I checked an old suggestion box. The number one request? Less deadly tests.
Listens:
434
Who:
GLaDOS
Could you just jump into that pit? There. That deadly pit.
Listens:
1966
Who:
Wheatley
Those people, in the portrait. They look so familiar...
Listens:
407
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello? Friend.
Listens:
29453
Who:
Turret
Hey, buddy!
Listens:
725
Who:
Wheatley
It would compromise the test to divulge individual scores. However, I can tell you at least one of you is doing very, very well.
Listens:
390
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll tell ya, it's times like this I wish I had a waist so I could wear all my black belts. Yeah, I'm a black belt. In pretty much everything. Karate. Larate. Jiu Jitsu. Kick punching. Belt making. Taekwondo... Bedroom.
Listens:
17081
Who:
Core 2
Walk casually toward my position and we'll go shut her down.
Listens:
366
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! You came back! Didn't actually plan... for that. Can't actually reset the death trap. So. Ah. Could you jump into that pit, there? Would you just jump into that pit for me?
Listens:
1260
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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