Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
You know who found that interesting? Nobody. That didn't affect anybody's life in any way whatsoever. Life would be exactly the same if you hadn't said anything.
Listens:
2110
Who:
Core 2
Feeds off the misery of others.
Listens:
291
Who:
GLaDOS
If you think trapping yourself is going to make me stop testing, you're sorely mistaken. Here's another cube.
Listens:
1237
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. New plan. Act natural. We've done NOTHING wrong.
Listens:
518
Who:
Wheatley
Space.
Listens:
103879
Who:
Core 1
Still. It's a better plan than exploding. Marginally.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
Starting now, if I'm honest, to wonder if you're not doing all this screen-breaking on purpose. Beginning to take it personally. You know what I mean? It's like an insult to me.
Listens:
459
Who:
Wheatley
Nonononononono!
Listens:
6960
Who:
Defective Turret
You're saying to yourself, why should I jump into the pit? I'll tell you why. Guess who's down there? Your parents! You're not adopted after all! It's your natural parents down there in the pit. Should have mentioned it before. But I didn't. So jump on down and reunite with mommy and daddy.
Listens:
3055
Who:
Wheatley
It is incorrectly noted that Thomas Edison invented 'push-ups' in 1878. Nikolai Tesla had in fact patented the activity three years earlier, under the name 'Tesla-cize.'
Listens:
1591
Who:
Core 3
I'm starting to think giving you arms was a big mistake.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodbye Caroline!
Listens:
26052
Who:
Caroline
Woooo! I KNEW this would be fun. They told me it wasn't fun at all, and I BELIEVED 'em! Ah! I'm loving this! Whale of a time...
Listens:
722
Who:
Wheatley
I'll wait--I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead.
Listens:
849
Who:
Wheatley
DANCING is NOT SCIENCE!
Listens:
46978
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello? Can you--can you pick me up, please?
Listens:
1517
Who:
Wheatley
Come on, stop muckin' around! Plug me in!
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
You're okay! Great! Come on!
Listens:
318
Who:
Wheatley
A computer. Not a surprise. Expected. Check that off the list. Computer identified. Tick.
Listens:
522
Who:
Wheatley
On three. Ready? One... Two...
Listens:
399
Who:
Wheatley
Always sulking.
Listens:
314
Who:
GLaDOS
You didn't think you were the first, did you? [laughs] No. Fifth. No, I lie: Sixth. Perhaps it's best to leave it to your imagination what happened to the other five...
Listens:
854
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! But I did find something. Reminds me: I've got a big surprise for you two. Seriously. Look forward to it.
Listens:
351
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhhhh, yes she is.
Listens:
429
Who:
Wheatley
Is anyone there?
Listens:
7771
Who:
Turret
The masher does work. I should point that out. I know we've had a couple of problems in the past. This masher definitely works and it will kill you. If that's one of your concerns about jumping in, the masher will kill you. Painless. Well, it won't be painless, obviously. But it will mash you up.
Listens:
648
Who:
Wheatley
I miss this that smell.
Listens:
427
Who:
GLaDOS
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
814
Who:
Core 3
Then we'd come and find you. And rip your gross little stupid sphere body out of MY body, and put me back in.
Listens:
489
Who:
GLaDOS
Just go.
Listens:
3613
Who:
GLaDOS
BLUE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite animal.
Listens:
792
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. Here come the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: A horrible person. We weren't even testing for that.
Listens:
78073
Who:
GLaDOS
Going for it yourself, huh? All right, angel. I'll do what I can to cover you.
Listens:
598
Who:
Core 2
Now, maybe you don't have any tumors. Well, don't worry. If you sat on a folding chair in the lobby and weren't wearing lead underpants, we took care of that too.
Listens:
2486
Who:
Cave Johnson
Fine, 500 point penalty for Blue.
Listens:
739
Who:
GLaDOS
Silently killing you. Probably. If I had to guess.
Listens:
543
Who:
Wheatley
[laugh]
Listens:
41500
Who:
Cave Johnson
Still. That would have been exciting.
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
Machiavellian!
Listens:
1092
Who:
Wheatley
BURN HIS HOUSE DOWN!
Listens:
6432
Who:
GLaDOS
[BUZZER NOISE]
Listens:
22988
Who:
Wheatley
You have just passed through an Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill, which erases most Aperture Science equipment that touches it.
Listens:
383
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, I'm not stupid. I realize you don't want to put me back in charge.
Listens:
619
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, remember the time I took over the facility? Greatest moment of my life, but you just wanted to leave. Didn't want to share in my success. Well, so you know, I'd be happy for you if you succeeded. Apart from right now, obviously.
Listens:
1003
Who:
Wheatley
Standing down.
Listens:
420
Who:
Defective Turret
Could you just jump into that pit? There. That deadly pit.
Listens:
1974
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Oh oh! Yes. Alright. Just had a brainwave. I'll be back. If you're still alive. I'll be back. Don't die until I get back.
Listens:
1043
Who:
Wheatley
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
5448
Who:
GLaDOS
I found some bird eggs up here. Just dropped 'em into the door mechanism. Shut it right down. I--AGH!
Listens:
1152
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations, you completed the standard section of this course. Before we can go any further, I will need you to complete one more test outside of the standard testing track.
Listens:
307
Who:
GLaDOS
And guess what? Ground up moon rocks are pure poison. I am deathly ill.
Listens:
6558
Who:
Cave Johnson
Hold on, [click click click] Ah, the bloody bombs are stuck on. Doesn't matter - I've reconfigured the shields.
Listens:
1083
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
