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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Preparing to love this... don't want to build it up too much... but I think this one's going to be good, I can tell...
Listens:
467
Who:
Wheatley
Don't make eye contact whatever you do...
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
Am I being too vague? I despise you. I loathe you. You arrogant, smugly quiet, awful jumpsuited monster of a woman. You and your little potato friend. This place would have been a triumph if it wasn't for you!
Listens:
22379
Who:
Wheatley
I think we're in trouble.
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
Just get it off me...
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
As founder and CEO of Aperture Science, I thank you for your participation and hope we can count on you for another round of tests.
Listens:
1138
Who:
Cave Johnson
I'm going to space.
Listens:
997
Who:
Core 1
Go on, just walk up to the window and take a look out.
Listens:
335
Who:
Wheatley
Federal regulations require me to warn you that this next test chamber... is looking pretty good.
Listens:
34970
Who:
GLaDOS
Was. Was self-destructing. Already fixed.
Listens:
630
Who:
Wheatley
Space...
Listens:
1297
Who:
Core 1
Conversion gel. It's dripping out of that pipe there.
Listens:
374
Who:
GLaDOS
'Hygiene.' Huh. That's all it says.
Listens:
443
Who:
GLaDOS
Now your fat eyes have seen everything.
Listens:
1383
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, I agree. I never noticed that about Orange before.
Listens:
2750
Who:
GLaDOS
Two. One or two more tremors in there. Just for fun.
Listens:
376
Who:
Wheatley
And guess what? Ground up moon rocks are pure poison. I am deathly ill.
Listens:
6444
Who:
Cave Johnson
We should be getting close. Ohh, I can't wait to see the look on her face. No neurotoxin, no turrets--she'll never know what hit her!
Listens:
408
Who:
Wheatley
Well played.
Listens:
462
Who:
Defective Turret
Sir, the testing?
Listens:
2473
Who:
Caroline
Moody.
Listens:
335
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Okay. Okay listen: New plan. Act natural act natural. We've done nothing wrong.
Listens:
440
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Ha ha ha!
Listens:
410
Who:
Defective Turret
This lock requires humans.
Listens:
417
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, wait, let me light this path for you.
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
Gotta go to space. Yeah. Gotta go to space.
Listens:
1172
Who:
Core 1
Go on. Get a big fat eyeful. With your big fat eyes.
Listens:
2453
Who:
GLaDOS
But not entirely my fault! You shoulda seen the SIZE of that thing, it was huge! I should have gotten a raise for all the times I DIDN'T bump into it.
Listens:
418
Who:
Wheatley
Calibrating Blue's weight...
Listens:
360
Who:
GLaDOS
Try to jump across.
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh, it hasn't done it.
Listens:
291
Who:
Wheatley
I found two little robots back here. Built specifically for testin'!
Listens:
377
Who:
Wheatley
Can you hear that? She has really kicked this place into high gear now.
Listens:
316
Who:
Wheatley
You broke it, didn't you.
Listens:
2602
Who:
GLaDOS
You are the farthest ever in space. Why me, space? Because you are the best. I'm the best at space? Yes.
Listens:
21916
Who:
Core 1
AH!
Listens:
641
Who:
Wheatley
Might as well give you the tour.
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
I created this test to let the humans feel good about themselves. It is extremely easy. Just follow the arrows.
Listens:
479
Who:
GLaDOS
Progress report: Still pretty tricky!
Listens:
323
Who:
Wheatley
All right, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons? Don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! 'I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?'
Listens:
125973
Who:
Cave Johnson
And here I thought this room was dangerously unlethal.
Listens:
325
Who:
GLaDOS
Thanks anyway...
Listens:
1169
Who:
Turret
Why did I just-Who is that? What the HELL is going on he----?
Listens:
1627
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha! Was that your bullet-riddled body, flying out of the room? It was- aww, those were the crap turrets, weren't they? Yeah...
Listens:
2147
Who:
Wheatley
Why?
Listens:
2440
Who:
Turret
The Fact Sphere is a good person, whose insights are relevant.
Listens:
728
Who:
Core 3
Ohhh, not now!
Listens:
519
Who:
Defective Turret
We're still doing science sir.
Listens:
3138
Who:
Caroline
That did it! Neurotoxin at zero percent! Yes!
Listens:
365
Who:
Wheatley
I think that one was about to say 'I love you.' They ARE sentient, of course. We just have a LOT of them.
Listens:
5473
Who:
GLaDOS
Also, are you alive? That's important, should have asked that first.
Listens:
747
Who:
Wheatley
And as soon as I can PROVE it, the laws of robotics allow me to terminate you for being a liar.
Listens:
722
Who:
GLaDOS
Error. Error. Error. File not found.
Listens:
1334
Who:
Core 3
We all agree you should stop.
Listens:
380
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello.
Listens:
4256
Who:
Turret
You know how I'm going to live forever, but you're going to be dead in sixty years? Well, I've been working on a belated birthday present for you. Well... more of a belated birthday medical procedure. Well. Technically, it's a medical EXPERIMENT. What's important is, it's a present.
Listens:
3046
Who:
GLaDOS
Still, if it were, Blue would be winning.
Listens:
611
Who:
GLaDOS
It is incorrectly noted that Thomas Edison invented 'push-ups' in 1878. Nikolai Tesla had in fact patented the activity three years earlier, under the name 'Tesla-cize.'
Listens:
1576
Who:
Core 3
Always sad.
Listens:
576
Who:
GLaDOS
We're not gonna release this stuff into the wild until it's good and damn ready, so as long as you keep yourself in top physical form, there'll always be a limo waiting for you.
Listens:
1014
Who:
Cave Johnson
NNGH! It's not enough! If I'm such a moron, why can't you solve a simple test?
Listens:
1756
Who:
Wheatley
Unknown error
Listens:
1886
Who:
Turret
What are you doing? YOU MONSTER! They're one of us.
Listens:
7277
Who:
GLaDOS
Humans find that an admirable trait.
Listens:
320
Who:
GLaDOS
Why?
Listens:
1117
Who:
Turret
Just getting a test ready... For you. Obviously. Who else would I be doing it for? No one.
Listens:
324
Who:
Wheatley
Lady.
Listens:
832
Who:
Core 1
In summary: walk all the way to certain doom, or give up now. Honorably. Like a samurai! Save yourself a trip. It's win-win for you.
Listens:
406
Who:
Wheatley
That’s right. You're not humans.
Listens:
380
Who:
GLaDOS
That's his voice up ahead.
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, that transpired just as you said it would.
Listens:
328
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome to the enrichment center. [cough]
Listens:
6324
Who:
Cave Johnson
Ugh!
Listens:
320
Who:
Wheatley
Canvassing
Listens:
650
Who:
Turret
Oo! I've got an idea!
Listens:
560
Who:
Wheatley
Take me with you...
Listens:
1242
Who:
Turret
I, uh... I am a bad man.
Listens:
892
Who:
Defective Turret
I might have pushed that moron thing a little too far this time.
Listens:
1096
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Fixed.
Listens:
525
Who:
Wheatley
Bam! Bam bam bam! Take that, space.
Listens:
4157
Who:
Core 1
There's no turret in it... Maybe the system stores a backup image?
Listens:
319
Who:
Wheatley
So. Was there anything you wanted to apologize to ME for?
Listens:
357
Who:
GLaDOS
I've got an idea! Do what it says, plug me in!
Listens:
307
Who:
Wheatley
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
804
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, enough about that first person's file. Let's look at some others.
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
It's the lift just there. The thing that looks like a lift. That's what you're looking for. It is confusing, I know.
Listens:
312
Who:
Wheatley
GET IN!
Listens:
320
Who:
Wheatley
Good, that's still working.
Listens:
1992
Who:
GLaDOS
You really don't need to keep failing.
Listens:
374
Who:
GLaDOS
Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Space!
Listens:
1668
Who:
Core 1
Still. It's a better plan than exploding. Marginally.
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
In case you were wondering: Yes. I'm still a potato. Go away.
Listens:
7771
Who:
GLaDOS
This time...
Listens:
587
Who:
Defective Turret
Aggh, see, now I hit that one, I hit that one...
Listens:
317
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, how well do you really know Orange? Do you trust Orange? What if I told you, you aren't Orange's first cooperative partner?
Listens:
465
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on. Those are raccoons. Homo sapiens only, please.
Listens:
969
Who:
GLaDOS
Horrible people skills.
Listens:
981
Who:
GLaDOS
[hums 'For He's A Jolly Good Fellow']
Listens:
5080
Who:
GLaDOS
Dang.
Listens:
659
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh, in case you got covered in that repulsion gel, here's some advice the lab boys gave me: DO NOT get covered in the repulsion gel.
Listens:
2381
Who:
Cave Johnson
00:00 / 00:00
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