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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Pop a portal on that wall behind me there, and I'll meet you on the other side of the room.
Listens:
337
Who:
Wheatley
Quick, this way!
Listens:
306
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Oh! Did it kill you? Oh, that would be amazing if it killed you.
Listens:
734
Who:
Wheatley
Help! Being squished!
Listens:
1394
Who:
Turret
Still. That would have been exciting.
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
Orbit. Space orbit. In my spacesuit.
Listens:
1271
Who:
Core 1
This is a sterile environment; please refrain from riding on the turret line.
Listens:
990
Who:
Announcer
Aw. Bless your little primate brain. I'm not actually in the room with you. Am I? Technology. It's complicated. Can't hurt the big god face.
Listens:
1817
Who:
Wheatley
Don't plug him in.
Listens:
483
Who:
GLaDOS
If you are alive, can you say something. Jump around so I know you are OK?
Listens:
382
Who:
Wheatley
Hey.
Listens:
692
Who:
Core 1
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Listens:
776
Who:
Core 3
Space space going to space oh boy
Listens:
2144
Who:
Core 1
That is not part of the test.
Listens:
397
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you know, the reassembly machine has other things it could be reassembling?
Listens:
328
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! But when I DO test... ohhhhh, man alive! Nothing feels better. It's just... why I've gotta test, I've gotta test!
Listens:
1861
Who:
Wheatley
You like revenge, right? Everybody likes revenge. Well, let's go get some.
Listens:
2892
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't like space. Don't like space.
Listens:
3881
Who:
Core 1
Or maybe he still is, in which case, wow, that's kind of sad.
Listens:
1638
Who:
GLaDOS
Cryptic.
Listens:
445
Who:
GLaDOS
Nap time
Listens:
3438
Who:
Turret
Look - metal ball, I CAN hear you.
Listens:
1894
Who:
GLaDOS
See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it'll shut down the whole production line.
Listens:
450
Who:
Wheatley
I thought you'd be faster at this, but I can appreciate the desire to stop and smell the testing. That other scent you smell? That's the stench of my utter disappointment in you.
Listens:
1672
Who:
GLaDOS
Quick word about the future plans that I've got in store.
Listens:
291
Who:
Wheatley
Mister Johnson
Listens:
1808
Who:
Caroline
Oh.
Listens:
571
Who:
Defective Turret
You will be dead soon.
Listens:
895
Who:
Core 3
Please prepare for emergency evacuation.
Listens:
3258
Who:
Announcer
I lied.
Listens:
801
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Hey! Up here!
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
Hello!
Listens:
2851
Who:
Wheatley
Crap!
Listens:
1082
Who:
Defective Turret
Lawl
Listens:
89894
Who:
Turret
Okay, well, alright. Just do your idea and then come straight back.
Listens:
306
Who:
Wheatley
Just say 'Apple'. Classic. Very simple.
Listens:
862
Who:
Wheatley
Enough! I told you not to put these cores on me. But you don't listen, do you? Quiet. All the time. Quietly not listening to a word I say. Judging me. Silently. The worst kind.
Listens:
1405
Who:
Wheatley
Ha! Missed me that time. Ohhh, you were solving-nevermind, carry on. My fault.
Listens:
506
Who:
Wheatley
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
964
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m on fire ow.
Listens:
5132
Who:
Turret
There is a box part here. Probably got some electronics in there.
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
You didn't think you were the first, did you? [laughs] No. Fifth. No, I lie: Sixth. Perhaps it's best to leave it to your imagination what happened to the other five...
Listens:
854
Who:
Wheatley
Can't... see it anywhere. Tell you what, plug me in and I'll turn the lights on.
Listens:
338
Who:
Wheatley
We are?
Listens:
695
Who:
Core 1
Better yet, don't say anything.
Listens:
291
Who:
Wheatley
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other’s performance so far.
Listens:
459
Who:
GLaDOS
Dang.
Listens:
663
Who:
Defective Turret
To start preparing for human testing again, I checked an old suggestion box. The number one request? Less deadly tests.
Listens:
436
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes. Please. Space.
Listens:
1065
Who:
Core 1
Otherwise, I'm afraid you're about to become the immediate past president of the Being Alive club. Ha ha.
Listens:
3912
Who:
GLaDOS
Good news! I can use this equipment to shut down the neurotoxin system. It is, however, password protected. AH! Alarm bells! No. Don't worry. Not a problem for me.
Listens:
573
Who:
Wheatley
You find a way to stun him, I'll send you a core, and then you attach it to him. If we do it a few times, he might become corrupt enough for another core transfer.
Listens:
400
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, that's right. Little bullseye.
Listens:
414
Who:
Defective Turret
Just a heads-up: That coffee we gave you earlier had fluorescent calcium in it so we can track the neuronal activity in your brain. There's a slight chance the calcium could harden and vitrify your frontal lobe. Anyway, don't stress yourself thinking about it. I'm serious. Visualizing the scenario while under stress actually triggers the reaction.
Listens:
4917
Who:
Cave Johnson
[laugh]
Listens:
41500
Who:
Cave Johnson
Congratulations on successfully returning to the central hub room. From here you can select all previously completed courses.
Listens:
1134
Who:
Announcer
Lady. I love space. I know! Spell it! S P... AACE. Space. Space.
Listens:
21056
Who:
Core 1
Welcome to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center. You have unlocked all available courses.
Listens:
3090
Who:
Announcer
Don't press the button!
Listens:
786
Who:
Wheatley
Go on.
Listens:
366
Who:
Wheatley
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha
Listens:
1281
Who:
Defective Turret
Well done. You know, when I woke up and saw the state of the labs, I started to wonder if there was any point to going on. I came THAT close to just giving up and letting you go.
Listens:
411
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I'm in space!
Listens:
376627
Who:
Core 1
You really aren't getting tired of that, are you?
Listens:
1397
Who:
GLaDOS
Whee!
Listens:
2269
Who:
Turret
Substitute Core: Are you ready to start?
Listens:
2405
Who:
Announcer
Okay, this way
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
That is a potato battery. It's a toy for children. And now she lives in it.
Listens:
3785
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no, you've got it, you've got it! Yes! Put him in there! Let's see how this place likes a crap turret.
Listens:
515
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah. Clickety click click. Right on the money.
Listens:
3324
Who:
Defective Turret
Hmmm. Hmmmmmm. Hmm. Hmmmmm. Space!
Listens:
2487
Who:
Core 1
There it is.
Listens:
432
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't do it.
Listens:
715
Who:
GLaDOS
[out of breath] Okay. That's probably the bird, isn't it? That laid the eggs! Livid!
Listens:
1044
Who:
Wheatley
[cough] As a result, you may have heard we're gonna phase out human testing. There's still a few things left to wrap up, though.
Listens:
1994
Who:
Cave Johnson
I don't want this!
Listens:
19521
Who:
Caroline
Did you think that would be funny?
Listens:
529
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I gave it everything I could. Can't ask for more than that.
Listens:
572
Who:
Defective Turret
NO!
Listens:
884
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you scared to save those humans?
Listens:
293
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry. That just slipped out. A bit insensitive. Umm... The smelly humans...
Listens:
569
Who:
Wheatley
Caroline, are the compensation vouchers ready?
Listens:
1082
Who:
Cave Johnson
Um, hello?
Listens:
1422
Who:
Turret
Not a problem. I'll make an exit.
Listens:
371
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, let me explain again. Pop a portal. Behind me. Alright? And come on through.
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
You seem to have defeated its load-bearing capacity. Well done. I'll just lower the ceiling.
Listens:
577
Who:
GLaDOS
AH!
Listens:
649
Who:
Wheatley
These bridges are made from natural light that I pump in from the surface. If you rubbed your cheek on one, it would be like standing outside with the sun shining on your face. It would also set your hair on fire, so don't actually do it.
Listens:
2301
Who:
GLaDOS
Nobody cares, four eyes.
Listens:
1245
Who:
Core 2
Just remember to land on one foot...
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
I heard gunfire! A bit late for this, but look out for gunfire! Probably doesn't help at this point, but I have at least tried.
Listens:
508
Who:
Wheatley
No no no! Don't do that! Stand right there! [to self] Start the machine start the machine start the machine...
Listens:
803
Who:
Wheatley
Can't. See. A. Thing.
Listens:
1381
Who:
Defective Turret
Here's an interesting story. I almost got a job down here in Manufacturing. Guess who the foreman went with? Only an exact duplicate of himself. Nepotism. Ended up giving me the WORST possible job: tending to all the smelly humans. The umm... Sorry about that. That just slipped out.
Listens:
1267
Who:
Wheatley
Yes!
Listens:
1163
Who:
GLaDOS
Very impressive! Because this message is prerecorded, any comments we may make about your success are speculation on our part. Please disregard any undeserved compliments.
Listens:
1404
Who:
GLaDOS
Would you like to know the results of that last test? Me too. If they existed, we'd all be VERY happy right now. And not furious, which is the emotion I'm actually feeling.
Listens:
707
Who:
GLaDOS
HA! I knew someone was alive in here.
Listens:
363
Who:
Wheatley
THEY didn't fly into space, storm a beach, or bring back the gold. No sir, we did! It's you and me against the world, son! I like your grit! Hustle could use some work, though. Now let's solve this thing!
Listens:
2003
Who:
Cave Johnson
Well, that should do it.
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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