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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Let's do it again! Pick me up again!
Listens:
307
Who:
Wheatley
Nooooooooo...
Listens:
1629
Who:
Defective Turret
China produces the world's second largest crop of soybeans.
Listens:
594
Who:
Core 3
This is not good.
Listens:
2176
Who:
Turret
Very good. You’ve really come together as a team. Thanks to the one of you who appears to be doing all of the work.
Listens:
469
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not press that button!
Listens:
542
Who:
Wheatley
On second thought we don't have the time, just look at how much better you are than blue.
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
NO!
Listens:
884
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, I'm not supposed to do this, but... you can shoot SOMETHING... through the blue bridges.
Listens:
614
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. Still nothing, let's keep moving.
Listens:
350
Who:
Wheatley
Don't mind me. Just moving the test chamber a little closer to me. Had a thought: Maybe proximity to the test solving might give us stronger results.
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
Ha! Death trap!
Listens:
833
Who:
Wheatley
Touche, young lady, touche.
Listens:
1275
Who:
Defective Turret
Doesn't bother me. I gotta say, the view's mighty nice from right here.
Listens:
532
Who:
Core 2
Pop a portal. Behind me, on the wall. Come on through.
Listens:
311
Who:
Wheatley
If you are a non-employee who has discovered this facility amid the ruins of civilization, welcome! And remember: Testing is the future, and the future starts with you.
Listens:
3536
Who:
Announcer
The point is: If we can store music on a compact disc, why can't we store a man's intelligence and personality on one? So I have the engineers figuring that out now.
Listens:
2073
Who:
Cave Johnson
Undelete, undelete! Where's the undelete button?
Listens:
2687
Who:
Wheatley
Wanna go home.
Listens:
1114
Who:
Core 1
Okay, I've decided not to kill you. IF you come back.
Listens:
807
Who:
Wheatley
Well played.
Listens:
469
Who:
Defective Turret
Try to avoid the garbage hurtling towards you.
Listens:
604
Who:
GLaDOS
Glorious freedom!
Listens:
23719
Who:
Turret
Holmes versus Moriarty.
Listens:
2258
Who:
Wheatley
Not done yet. You've still got to get through the door. Need to get through the door there.
Listens:
320
Who:
Wheatley
Good, that's still working.
Listens:
2007
Who:
GLaDOS
The Space Sphere will never go to space.
Listens:
18147
Who:
Core 3
Blue, Orange and I were just discussing your behavior on the last few tests.
Listens:
364
Who:
GLaDOS
This is a bad plan. You will fail.
Listens:
1866
Who:
Core 3
I’ll just save the safety information about the dangerous experiment you’re about to do for AFTER the experiment.
Listens:
501
Who:
GLaDOS
The one you risked your life to get to. So you could escape certain death. No rush.
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.
Listens:
963
Who:
GLaDOS
Come on, you've already solved it.
Listens:
652
Who:
Wheatley
Wait here. Don't go anywhere. I'll be back.
Listens:
541
Who:
GLaDOS
YES! I KNEW someone was alive in here!
Listens:
400
Who:
Wheatley
Annnnd we're back!
Listens:
905
Who:
Defective Turret
It shouldn't be hard to stay alive long enough to find him.
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Oi oi! I'm up here!
Listens:
493
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is the most handsome sphere.
Listens:
1229
Who:
Core 3
Come on! We have to go!
Listens:
290
Who:
Wheatley
Marie Curie invented the theory of radioactivity, the treatment of radioactivity, and dying of radioactivity.
Listens:
2378
Who:
Core 3
Wait, where are you going? Where are you going?
Listens:
333
Who:
Wheatley
Be careful!
Listens:
312
Who:
Wheatley
At some point in their lives 1 in 6 children will be abducted by the Dutch.
Listens:
5879
Who:
Core 3
Ha ha, YES! I knew you'd solve it!
Listens:
347
Who:
Wheatley
Agh!
Listens:
329
Who:
Wheatley
Follow me! You're gonna love this.
Listens:
436
Who:
Wheatley
Never listens.
Listens:
396
Who:
GLaDOS
Just turn around.
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
ow.
Listens:
734
Who:
GLaDOS
If you had any belongings, please pick them up now. We don't want old newspapers and sticks cluttering up the building.
Listens:
1017
Who:
Cave Johnson
I think he's getting desperate.
Listens:
301
Who:
GLaDOS
On ya go.
Listens:
316
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on! I thought I fixed that.
Listens:
657
Who:
Wheatley
SURPRISE! We're doing it NOW!
Listens:
6025
Who:
Wheatley
It flew off.
Listens:
405
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, DON'T PANIC! I can still stop it, not a problem. There's a password! I'll just hack it. Here we go.
Listens:
999
Who:
Wheatley
Don't make lemonade!
Listens:
21473
Who:
Turret
We're so close, you can't fail now!
Listens:
369
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh.
Listens:
570
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey.
Listens:
692
Who:
Core 1
clickclickclick
Listens:
632
Who:
Defective Turret
Thank you, that was very brave of you to tell me.
Listens:
379
Who:
GLaDOS
There's the exit! We're almost out of here!
Listens:
307
Who:
Wheatley
So what do you say? You carry me up to him and put me back into my body, and I stop us from blowing up and let you go.
Listens:
503
Who:
GLaDOS
Well. This is the part where he kills us.
Listens:
1710
Who:
GLaDOS
You think I'll betray you. And on any other day, you'd be right.
Listens:
419
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh, not now!
Listens:
528
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue, do you feel betrayed by orange for telling me those horrible things about you?
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, this is just PERFECT!
Listens:
1389
Who:
Defective Turret
This is the main breaker room. Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
417
Who:
Wheatley
So. Welcome to Aperture. You're here because we want the best, and you're it. Nope. Couldn't keep a straight face.
Listens:
3366
Who:
Cave Johnson
If that doesn't motivate you, I'm not sure what will.
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
You have no idea how tiring it is to praise someone for placing an edgeless safety cube into a receptacle designed to exactly fit an edgeless safety cube.
Listens:
642
Who:
GLaDOS
If I'd known you'd let yourself get captured this easily, I would have just dangled a turkey leg on a rope from the ceiling.
Listens:
1980
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not press that button!
Listens:
854
Who:
Wheatley
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
812
Who:
Defective Turret
BLUE, please observe your partner's... interesting choice.
Listens:
588
Who:
GLaDOS
You're not just a regular moron. You were DESIGNED to be a moron.
Listens:
28011
Who:
GLaDOS
It's been a long time. How have you been?
Listens:
48282
Who:
GLaDOS
Science isn't about WHY. It's about WHY NOT. Why is so much of our science dangerous? Why not marry safe science if you love it so much. In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you on the butt on the way out, because you are fired.
Listens:
50696
Who:
Cave Johnson
Your test times show you are going too slowly.
Listens:
357
Who:
GLaDOS
How's that taste, pal?
Listens:
472
Who:
Core 2
We are?
Listens:
695
Who:
Core 1
Space. Space. Go to space.
Listens:
1084
Who:
Core 1
So that's a complete reassembly. New vitals. Spit-shine on the old ones. Plus we're scooping out tumors. Frankly, you oughtta be paying us.
Listens:
1729
Who:
Cave Johnson
Hey hey hey hey hey!
Listens:
1255
Who:
Core 1
I can't move, though. That's the problem now.
Listens:
935
Who:
Wheatley
And then you showed up. You dangerous, mute lunatic. So you know what?
Listens:
3557
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, listen, we should get our stories straight, alright? If anyone asks -- and no one's gonna ask, don't worry -- but if anyone asks, tell them as far as you know, the last time you checked, everyone looked pretty much alive. Alright? Not dead.
Listens:
1118
Who:
Wheatley
If Blue had said those things about me, Blue would never make it to the next reassembly station.
Listens:
342
Who:
GLaDOS
Of course the humans only had one try at it, you can just keep trying.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
During the Great Depression, the Tennessee Valley Authority outlawed pet rabbits, forcing many to hot glue-gun long ears onto their pet mice.
Listens:
1519
Who:
Core 3
This time is OUR time.
Listens:
1719
Who:
Defective Turret
Get going. I'll fill you in along the way.
Listens:
683
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm going to space.
Listens:
1004
Who:
Core 1
Press the button again.
Listens:
1097
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I did my best.
Listens:
498
Who:
Defective Turret
Lacks charisma.
Listens:
311
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm kidding. Not about you trapping yourself, though. That really happened. Here, I'll lower the glass. Go on... Finish the test.
Listens:
784
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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