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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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What are you...
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
On three. Ready? One... Two...
Listens:
399
Who:
Wheatley
You two aren't lost are you?
Listens:
342
Who:
GLaDOS
All right. I'm officially no longer paying attention to you.
Listens:
323
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, you are kidding me.
Listens:
6109
Who:
GLaDOS
Had a brainwave. I'm going to tape you solving these, and then watch ten at once-get a more concentrated burst of science. Oh, on a related note: I'm going to need you to solve these ten times as fast.
Listens:
649
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, doubt it.
Listens:
416
Who:
Wheatley
Atmosphere. Black holes. Astronauts. Nebulas. Jupiter. The Big Dipper.
Listens:
2778
Who:
Core 1
Orange, that transpired just as you said it would.
Listens:
305
Who:
GLaDOS
Keep moving! Just keep moving!
Listens:
309
Who:
Wheatley
Do you understand what I'm saying? Just tell me 'Yes'.
Listens:
329
Who:
Wheatley
Um. 'TRUE'. I'll go 'true'.
Listens:
20575
Who:
Wheatley
Oh... Mr. Johnson...
Listens:
27254
Who:
Caroline
Your test assignment will vary, depending on the manner in which you have bent the world to your will.
Listens:
1018
Who:
Cave Johnson
Fact: Space does not exist.
Listens:
4255
Who:
Core 3
Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody's going to have to repair that too. No, don't get up. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
663
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
1168
Who:
Turret
I did everything you asked!
Listens:
3360
Who:
Turret
Blue, you are very good at being an example.
Listens:
370
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. New plan. Act natural. We've done NOTHING wrong.
Listens:
516
Who:
Wheatley
See you soon!
Listens:
928
Who:
Turret
Hey, I can see it! The feeder tube's just in the next room!
Listens:
290
Who:
Wheatley
Weighted Cubes calibrated.
Listens:
446
Who:
GLaDOS
Malfunctioning
Listens:
1292
Who:
Turret
Ohhhhhh, yes she is.
Listens:
428
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on, who-?
Listens:
618
Who:
GLaDOS
Aggressive. I like that.
Listens:
924
Who:
GLaDOS
I never expected you to make it this far. To be honest, after your performance in the calibration test I was ready to break down your cores and put them back in the scientific calculators I took them from.
Listens:
647
Who:
GLaDOS
I have the results of the last chamber: You are a horrible person. That's what it says: A horrible person. We weren't even testing for that.
Listens:
3573
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't listen to her! It IS true that you don't have the qualifications. But you've got something more important than that. A finger, with which to press that button, so that she won't kill us.
Listens:
1391
Who:
Wheatley
Deploying
Listens:
3073
Who:
Turret
Ohhhhh, have you got an idea?
Listens:
291
Who:
Wheatley
Ahhh...
Listens:
686
Who:
Wheatley
But don't be alarmed, alright? Because ah... well, actually, if you DO feel alarmed, hold onto that. Because the feeling of alarm is the proper reaction to being told you've got massive brain damage. So if you are alarmed, then it suggests the damage is not as serious as we thought. Although it probably is really serious.
Listens:
915
Who:
Wheatley
I was able - well, forced really - to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever.
Listens:
877
Who:
GLaDOS
At the end of The Seagull by Anton Chekhov, Konstantin kills himself.
Listens:
591
Who:
Core 3
We will both die because of your negligence.
Listens:
1271
Who:
Core 3
Help!
Listens:
932
Who:
Turret
Argumentative.
Listens:
323
Who:
GLaDOS
Now, you are just wasting my time.
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
734
Who:
Defective Turret
The end.
Listens:
1658
Who:
GLaDOS
Most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished. I want to congratulate you on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds.
Listens:
1187
Who:
GLaDOS
Plus, I put a lot of effort in getting this lair ready for you. It'd certainly teach me a lesson if you simply died, painlessly, twenty feet from the door. I'd be furious. I'd be like RRRRR. I got my just desserts. No more than I deserve. Why not teach me a lesson by jumping in the old masher?
Listens:
883
Who:
Wheatley
Oo! I've got an idea!
Listens:
563
Who:
Wheatley
Now, if you're part of Control Group Kepler-Seven, we implanted a tiny microchip about the size of a postcard into your skull. Most likely you've forgotten it's even there, but if it starts vibrating and beeping during this next test, let us know, because that means it's about to hit five hundred degrees, so we're gonna need to go ahead and get that out of you pretty fast.
Listens:
3912
Who:
Cave Johnson
'Hygiene.' Huh. That's all it says.
Listens:
458
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh. I see. [chuckle]
Listens:
698
Who:
Wheatley
In summary: walk all the way to certain doom, or give up now. Honorably. Like a samurai! Save yourself a trip. It's win-win for you.
Listens:
417
Who:
Wheatley
Hello!
Listens:
2848
Who:
Wheatley
Abrasive personality.
Listens:
443
Who:
GLaDOS
Be honest. You can't even tell, can you? Seamless.
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
Hooray!
Listens:
5158
Who:
Turret
Apples. Oranges. Pears. Plums. Kumquats. Tangerines. Lemons. Limes. Avocado. Tomato. Banana. Papaya. Guava.
Listens:
6611
Who:
Core 3
Just say 'Apple'. Easy word, isn't it? 'Apple'.
Listens:
903
Who:
Wheatley
Nope. Okay. A... A... A... A... A... C.
Listens:
510
Who:
Wheatley
You think I'll betray you. And on any other day, you'd be right.
Listens:
418
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going. Going to space.
Listens:
1020
Who:
Core 1
Hold on! I thought I fixed that.
Listens:
657
Who:
Wheatley
I don't even know what I just said! But I can find out!
Listens:
456
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, remember the time I took over the facility? Greatest moment of my life, but you just wanted to leave. Didn't want to share in my success. Well, so you know, I'd be happy for you if you succeeded. Apart from right now, obviously.
Listens:
1002
Who:
Wheatley
Enh!
Listens:
346
Who:
Wheatley
Now, escape pod... escape pod...
Listens:
369
Who:
Wheatley
Rgggh!
Listens:
604
Who:
Defective Turret
Yes, thanks. We get it.
Listens:
595
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on! The neurotoxin levels are going down.
Listens:
375
Who:
Wheatley
Error. Error. Error. Fact not found.
Listens:
1392
Who:
Core 3
You could stand to lose a few pounds.
Listens:
828
Who:
Core 3
Ignores directions.
Listens:
335
Who:
GLaDOS
Otherwise, I'm afraid you're about to become the immediate past president of the Being Alive club. Ha ha.
Listens:
3898
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, come ON!
Listens:
857
Who:
Defective Turret
You're going to hurt yourself doing that and then I will be ECSTATIC.
Listens:
868
Who:
GLaDOS
You have just passed through an Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill, which erases most Aperture Science equipment that touches it.
Listens:
382
Who:
GLaDOS
So that's a complete reassembly. New vitals. Spit-shine on the old ones. Plus we're scooping out tumors. Frankly, you oughtta be paying us.
Listens:
1729
Who:
Cave Johnson
Oh no! nonononono!
Listens:
14522
Who:
Wheatley
I'll meet you on the other side!
Listens:
308
Who:
Wheatley
Well done. You know, when I woke up and saw the state of the labs, I started to wonder if there was any point to going on. I came THAT close to just giving up and letting you go.
Listens:
410
Who:
GLaDOS
Now you're thinking with stupidity.
Listens:
1973
Who:
GLaDOS
Agh!
Listens:
331
Who:
Wheatley
It's been a long time. How have you been?
Listens:
48277
Who:
GLaDOS
Could you turn around? Is that possible?
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
Try to make your way back out here!
Listens:
333
Who:
Wheatley
In the event that it does, this next test involves exposure to cattle tuberculosis. Good luck!
Listens:
778
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! It's me!
Listens:
2997
Who:
Turret
The most poisonous fish in the world is the orange ruffy. Everything but its eyes are made of a deadly poison. The ruffy's eyes are composed of a less harmful, deadly poison.
Listens:
2431
Who:
Core 3
QUICK: WHAT'S THE SITUATION? Oh, hello angel. I guess I must have died and gone to heaven. Name's Rick. So, you out having yourself a little adventure?
Listens:
3785
Who:
Core 2
Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
Listens:
541
Who:
GLaDOS
I was outside watching some deer frolic. You don't even care about the outside do you?
Listens:
824
Who:
GLaDOS
No! I'm not listening! I'm not listening!
Listens:
657
Who:
Wheatley
Earth.
Listens:
1739
Who:
Core 1
How would you use it in a sentence? 'Mmm, this apple's crunchy,' you might say. And I'm not even asking you for the whole sentence. Just the word 'Apple'.
Listens:
928
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry. That just slipped out. A bit insensitive. Umm... The smelly humans...
Listens:
568
Who:
Wheatley
Not bad. I forgot how good you are at this. You should pace yourself, though. We have A LOT of tests to do.
Listens:
2521
Who:
GLaDOS
Could a MORON PUNCH! YOU! INTO! THIS! PIT? Huh? Could a moron do THAT?
Listens:
5531
Who:
Wheatley
Yes it is! We can use it to get out of here!
Listens:
320
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. Didn't go for that, I see. Knew I was lying. Point to you. But you still are inhaling neurotoxin. So, point deducted.
Listens:
323
Who:
Wheatley
That jumpsuit you're wearing looks stupid. That's not me talking, it's right here in your file. On other people it looks fine, but right here a scientist has noted that on you it looks 'stupid.'
Listens:
2675
Who:
GLaDOS
Tell ya what, why don't you put me down and I'll make a distraction.
Listens:
475
Who:
Core 2
Dull expression.
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, [click click click] Ah, the bloody bombs are stuck on. Doesn't matter - I've reconfigured the shields.
Listens:
1082
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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