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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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There we go. Lift called.
Listens:
298
Who:
Wheatley
Searching
Listens:
909
Who:
Turret
Hmm. This Plate must not be calibrated to someone of your... generous... ness. I'll add a few zeros to the maximum weight.
Listens:
53859
Who:
GLaDOS
Standing down.
Listens:
396
Who:
Defective Turret
Oo. Oo. Oo. Lady. Oo. Lady. Oo. Let's go to space.
Listens:
18620
Who:
Core 1
No. No. That was the solution. Rrrg! What am I missing?
Listens:
333
Who:
Wheatley
It flew off.
Listens:
394
Who:
GLaDOS
Hostile to new ideas.
Listens:
314
Who:
GLaDOS
You messed with the wrong turret!
Listens:
19128
Who:
Defective Turret
This is the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center or SinTech.
Listens:
613
Who:
GLaDOS
She's bringing the whole place down! Hurry!
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
Was that course too difficult?
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
Enough! I told you not to put these cores on me. But you don't listen, do you? Quiet. All the time. Quietly not listening to a word I say. Judging me. Silently. The worst kind.
Listens:
1386
Who:
Wheatley
The engineers tried everything to make me... behave. To slow me down.
Listens:
880
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't know what you think you are doing, but I don't like it. I want you to stop.
Listens:
865
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you two doing?
Listens:
493
Who:
GLaDOS
Lady.
Listens:
817
Who:
Core 1
Yes. Please. Space.
Listens:
1045
Who:
Core 1
It's been fun. Don't come back.
Listens:
3797
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent work.
Listens:
333
Who:
GLaDOS
You might want to notice the moat area... rather large. Not to mention deadly. [laughs]
Listens:
398
Who:
Wheatley
Uh oh.
Listens:
430
Who:
GLaDOS
Fantastic.
Listens:
891
Who:
Defective Turret
Orange do what Blue just did.
Listens:
294
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah.
Listens:
570
Who:
GLaDOS
And that makes 10.
Listens:
375
Who:
GLaDOS
If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.
Listens:
1566
Who:
Announcer
Did you feel that? That idiot doesn't know what he's doing up there. This whole place is going to explode in a few hours if somebody doesn't disconnect him.
Listens:
1288
Who:
GLaDOS
She probably deserved it.
Listens:
846
Who:
Turret
Can't. See. A. Thing.
Listens:
1368
Who:
Defective Turret
Good!
Listens:
10686
Who:
Announcer
To complete this test, you need to find a set of blue prints.
Listens:
278
Who:
GLaDOS
As long as I don't listen to what I'm saying, I should be okay.
Listens:
300
Who:
GLaDOS
Better yet, don't say anything.
Listens:
279
Who:
Wheatley
Abrasive personality.
Listens:
405
Who:
GLaDOS
Good news! I can use this equipment to shut down the neurotoxin system. It is, however, password protected. AH! Alarm bells! No. Don't worry. Not a problem for me.
Listens:
559
Who:
Wheatley
Humans can survive underwater. But not for very long.
Listens:
1170
Who:
Core 3
Gah!
Listens:
404
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
474
Who:
Defective Turret
While I was out investigating, I found a fascinating new test element. It's never been used for human testing because, apparently, contact with it causes heart failure. The literature doesn't mention anything about lump-of-coal failure, though, so you should be fine.
Listens:
993
Who:
GLaDOS
I spy with my little eye, something that starts with 'f'.
Listens:
441
Who:
Wheatley
Crap!
Listens:
1214
Who:
Defective Turret
Lady.
Listens:
1157
Who:
Core 1
Once, they even attached an Intelligence Dampening Sphere on me. It clung to my brain like a tumor, generating an endless stream of terrible ideas.
Listens:
1273
Who:
GLaDOS
Apparently this human escaped and nobody's seen him since.
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
I thought of some good news. He's going to run out of test chambers eventually. I never stockpiled them.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
Might as well give you the tour.
Listens:
319
Who:
Wheatley
BLUE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite animal.
Listens:
716
Who:
GLaDOS
Right. Let's figure out how to stop this turret line...
Listens:
285
Who:
Wheatley
Hey.
Listens:
657
Who:
Core 1
Correct Blue, Orange can't hear you.
Listens:
302
Who:
GLaDOS
That's it, no, that's it! Yeah.
Listens:
323
Who:
Wheatley
89% of magic tricks are not magic. Technically, they are sorcery.
Listens:
2422
Who:
Core 3
Just hang in there for five more - What? Jerry, you can't fire me for that! Yes, JERRY -- OR, maybe your prejudiced worksite should have accommodated a nanobot of my size. Thanks for the hate crime, Jer!
Listens:
1332
Who:
Wheatley
I'm guessing this wasn't one of the scientist's children. I don't want to be snobby, but let's be honest: It's got manual laborer written all over it. I'm not saying they're not as good as the professionals. They're just a lot dumber.
Listens:
616
Who:
Wheatley
Happy Explosion Day, gorgeous.
Listens:
3317
Who:
Core 2
Good. You have a dual portal device. There should be a way back to the testing area up ahead.
Listens:
474
Who:
GLaDOS
Fifty thousand years is a lot of time to think. About me. About you. We were doing so well together.
Listens:
752
Who:
GLaDOS
The photos weren't as popular as we had hoped, so we repurposed the cameras.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
It's my big chance!
Listens:
1044
Who:
Defective Turret
Ow!
Listens:
998
Who:
Turret
Well, it was nice catching up. Let's get to business.
Listens:
717
Who:
GLaDOS
You need to be a trained stalemate associate to press that button. You're unqualified.
Listens:
1074
Who:
GLaDOS
Would you mind putting your back towards me? So I can see only your back. And not your face.
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody's going to have to repair that too. No, don't get up. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
651
Who:
GLaDOS
I forbid you to press it!
Listens:
628
Who:
Wheatley
Underestimates scope of work. They all do.
Listens:
317
Who:
GLaDOS
Look down. Who's that, down there, talking? It's me! Down on the floor. Needing you to pick me up.
Listens:
438
Who:
Wheatley
I'll bet there isn't even a problem with the facility, is there? I'll bet there's no such thing as a 'reactor core'. I'll bet that's not even fire coming out of the walls, is it? It's just cleverly placed lights and papier mache, I'll bet that's all it is.
Listens:
2182
Who:
Wheatley
Still. It's a better plan than exploding. Marginally.
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm kidding.
Listens:
873
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember that!
Listens:
1256
Who:
Turret
Do it!
Listens:
476
Who:
Wheatley
I hardly think you're even trying with these gestures anymore.
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
Warning: Core corruption at 75 percent.
Listens:
5053
Who:
Announcer
I just thought you find that interesting, most winners do.
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
Not paying attennnntion...
Listens:
506
Who:
GLaDOS
Dang.
Listens:
556
Who:
Defective Turret
Game over. Back to testing.
Listens:
762
Who:
GLaDOS
It's... It's moving up.
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
Aggressive. I like that.
Listens:
916
Who:
GLaDOS
Come on! Over here! This way!
Listens:
286
Who:
Wheatley
You know, there are test subjects in Africa who don't even have monitors in their test chambers. Why don't you think of that before you break any more of them?
Listens:
1072
Who:
Wheatley
Hello.
Listens:
937
Who:
Wheatley
Hey hey hey!
Listens:
2059
Who:
Turret
In 1879, Sandford Fleming first proposed the adoption of worldwide standardized time zones at the Royal Canadian Institute.
Listens:
612
Who:
Core 3
You just beat this test. Literally twenty seconds ago.
Listens:
687
Who:
Wheatley
Blue do what Orange just did.
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
Stalemate Resolution Associate: Please press the Stalemate Resolution Button.
Listens:
2611
Who:
Announcer
You don't have to test with the garbage. It's garbage.
Listens:
562
Who:
GLaDOS
Thank you, that was very brave of you to tell me.
Listens:
371
Who:
GLaDOS
The most poisonous fish in the world is the orange ruffy. Everything but its eyes are made of a deadly poison. The ruffy's eyes are composed of a less harmful, deadly poison.
Listens:
2398
Who:
Core 3
They're not even your screens to break. It's vandalism. It's pure vandalism. You wouldn't do this if this was your house, would you? If I came around to your house smashin' your telly to bits, you'd be furious. And rightly so. Unbelievable.
Listens:
906
Who:
Wheatley
And as soon as I can PROVE it, the laws of robotics allow me to terminate you for being a liar.
Listens:
697
Who:
GLaDOS
That isn't science.
Listens:
2603
Who:
GLaDOS
Oi, it's close... can you see? Am I gonna make it through? Have I got enough space?
Listens:
742
Who:
Wheatley
You're saying to yourself, why should I jump into the pit? I'll tell you why. Guess who's down there? Your parents! You're not adopted after all! It's your natural parents down there in the pit. Should have mentioned it before. But I didn't. So jump on down and reunite with mommy and daddy.
Listens:
2971
Who:
Wheatley
You're doing great!
Listens:
438
Who:
Core 2
Thanks!
Listens:
527
Who:
GLaDOS
That extra half volt helps but it isn't going to power miracles. If I think too hard, I'm going to fry this potato before we get a chance to burn up in the atomic fireball that little idiot is going- [bzzpt]
Listens:
3617
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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