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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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No! NO! NO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
Listens:
74340
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah.
Listens:
371
Who:
Defective Turret
Can't read.
Listens:
360
Who:
GLaDOS
The point is: If we can store music on a compact disc, why can't we store a man's intelligence and personality on one? So I have the engineers figuring that out now.
Listens:
2076
Who:
Cave Johnson
Response
Listens:
2860
Who:
Announcer
The other? Well...
Listens:
319
Who:
GLaDOS
Really? Alright.
Listens:
396
Who:
Defective Turret
That was nobody’s fault.
Listens:
769
Who:
Turret
Oh, that's funny, is it? Because we've been at this twelve hours and you haven't solved it either, so I don't know why you're laughing.
Listens:
962
Who:
Wheatley
Go press the button! Go press it!
Listens:
1070
Who:
GLaDOS
At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse.
Listens:
1476
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! How's it going! I talked my way onto the nanobot work crew rebuilding this shaft. They are REALLY small, so -ah - I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
634
Who:
Wheatley
I heard gunfire! A bit late for this, but look out for gunfire! Probably doesn't help at this point, but I have at least tried.
Listens:
508
Who:
Wheatley
Just stop it already.
Listens:
633
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, if you'd done that to somebody else, they might devote their existences to exacting revenge.
Listens:
1398
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyway, look, we're really close to busting out, just hang in there for five more chambers.
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
science collaboration points.
Listens:
789
Who:
GLaDOS
This is AMAZING! We can walk wherever we want! Look, just... go left! No, go right, go right! Don't even care, don't even care, just go where ever you want, couldn't care less.
Listens:
466
Who:
Wheatley
Searching
Listens:
875
Who:
Turret
Don't forget!
Listens:
1020
Who:
Turret
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
495
Who:
GLaDOS
Whoa!
Listens:
346
Who:
Wheatley
Stay back.
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
Just getting a test ready... For you. Obviously. Who else would I be doing it for? No one.
Listens:
332
Who:
Wheatley
If you have trouble with simple counting, use the following mnemonic device: one comes before two comes before 60 comes after 12 comes before six trillion comes after 504. This will make your earlier counting difficulties seem like no big deal.
Listens:
3128
Who:
Core 3
Don't either you have drive to be better than the other?
Listens:
305
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you know who dances around like an imbecile when they accomplish the tiniest little thing?
Listens:
597
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m on fire ow.
Listens:
5132
Who:
Turret
Congratulations. You're upside down now.
Listens:
689
Who:
GLaDOS
Get to HER! I'll find you!
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
Humans can survive underwater. But not for very long.
Listens:
1187
Who:
Core 3
Nope. Okay. A... A... A... A... A... C.
Listens:
510
Who:
Wheatley
And they said no one would ever die during this test, thanks for proving them wrong.
Listens:
470
Who:
GLaDOS
Please return to the core transfer bay.
Listens:
1456
Who:
Announcer
I'm in space.
Listens:
2565
Who:
Core 1
Might want to just pick me up.
Listens:
291
Who:
Wheatley
We're a lot alike, you and I. You tested me. I tested you. You killed me. I--oh, no, wait. I guess I HAVEN'T killed you yet. Well. Food for thought.
Listens:
3481
Who:
GLaDOS
Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-action and adventure-dunna-dunna-na-dunna-na-playing by our own rules-nanana-hanging by our fingers from a mountain-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun...
Listens:
114251
Who:
Core 2
Only three more chambers until your big surprise! [maniacal laughter] Ohhh, that's tiring.
Listens:
2179
Who:
Wheatley
One of these times you'll be so fat that you'll jump, and you'll just drop like a stone. Into acid, probably. Like a potato into a deep fat fryer.
Listens:
18604
Who:
GLaDOS
These things happen.
Listens:
3496
Who:
Turret
YES! I KNEW someone was alive in here!
Listens:
400
Who:
Wheatley
We have to split up here for a moment. Portal up to that passage and I'll see you on the other side.
Listens:
320
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, I'm uh... I'm a bad man!
Listens:
956
Who:
Defective Turret
But now, looking around, seeing Aperture restored to its former glory? You don't have to worry about leaving EVER again. I mean that.
Listens:
490
Who:
GLaDOS
Earth.
Listens:
1739
Who:
Core 1
The floor. What's the floor doing? What's the floor up to? Do you know what? It's holding everything up. The floor is important, holding everything up.
Listens:
757
Who:
Wheatley
Egotistical.
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
So, let's call that three minutes, and then a minute break, which should leave a leisurely two minutes to figure out how to shut down whatever's starting all these fires. So anyway, that's the itinerary.
Listens:
852
Who:
Wheatley
NNGH! It's not enough! If I'm such a moron, why can't you solve a simple test?
Listens:
1785
Who:
Wheatley
No one has ever completed this test before. The humans must have reconfigured it from my original plans.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you stopping that.
Listens:
404
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't you DARE plug him in.
Listens:
677
Who:
GLaDOS
You're just delaying the inevitable. You cannot run from my bombs forever. Well, you can if I keep aiming them poorly. But I'll get better as we go, and you'll just get tired.
Listens:
914
Who:
Wheatley
Two. One or two more tremors in there. Just for fun.
Listens:
384
Who:
Wheatley
Wanna go to -- wanna go to space
Listens:
1026
Who:
Core 1
Orange is awarded five points!
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
We have to get you out of that room!
Listens:
293
Who:
Wheatley
I’m flyinnnng!
Listens:
2549
Who:
Turret
Well, you passed the test. I didn't see the deer today. I did see some humans. But with you here I've got more test subjects than I'll ever need.
Listens:
902
Who:
GLaDOS
William Shakespeare did not exist. His plays were masterminded in 1589 by Francis Bacon, who used a Ouija board to enslave play-writing ghosts.
Listens:
3044
Who:
Core 3
Violent temper. Oh, I'd like to see that.
Listens:
473
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not press that button!
Listens:
906
Who:
Wheatley
Hello?
Listens:
2984
Who:
Turret
You asked for this!
Listens:
412
Who:
Defective Turret
Could you turn around? Is that possible?
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
[tired breathing] Nevermind. Nevermind. Solve it yourself. You're on your own.
Listens:
548
Who:
Wheatley
Also, I took the liberty of watching the tapes of you killing her, and I'm not going to make the same mistakes. Four part plan is this:
Listens:
704
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, you are very good at being an example.
Listens:
371
Who:
GLaDOS
This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
Listens:
548
Who:
GLaDOS
That said, I would really appreciate it if you could test as fast as possible. Caroline, please bring me more pain pills.
Listens:
1654
Who:
Cave Johnson
Can't help but notice you're not coming back. Which is disappointing.
Listens:
695
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
993
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
1140
Who:
Defective Turret
This is the main breaker room. Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
417
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, then. Let us see... 'Vital maintenance protocols.' Wow, there are a lot of them. Should have looked into this earlier. Well, let's try this: [reading while typing] DO THEM. [failure buzzer]. Fair enough. Maybe it's a password.
Listens:
2580
Who:
Wheatley
Goodbye, Caroline.
Listens:
20876
Who:
GLaDOS
[laugh trailing off] Actually, why do we have to leave right now?
Listens:
1319
Who:
Wheatley
Go on. Just... March on through that hole.
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
Blue
Listens:
1811
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's keep moving. The factory entrance must be around here somewhere.
Listens:
327
Who:
Wheatley
Okay...
Listens:
357
Who:
Wheatley
I know! I know, I wouldn't have believed it either.
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
Don't take anything with you.
Listens:
417
Who:
GLaDOS
Arsonist.
Listens:
372
Who:
GLaDOS
Turn around. I'll only be a second. If you don't mind.
Listens:
380
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh, it hasn't done it.
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
Are you alright?
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
Dental floss has superb tensile strength.
Listens:
1144
Who:
Core 3
There you are! I was starting to get worried.
Listens:
291
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no, you've got it, you've got it! Yes! Put him in there! Let's see how this place likes a crap turret.
Listens:
515
Who:
Wheatley
Charmless.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
Two: Start the neurotoxin immediately.
Listens:
993
Who:
Wheatley
[whispered] ...I think she's lying...
Listens:
599
Who:
Wheatley
Touche, young lady, touche.
Listens:
1275
Who:
Defective Turret
Loves sound of own voice. Well, I can fix that.
Listens:
1098
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm seriously not paying atten-- STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!
Listens:
6019
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey hey hey!
Listens:
2084
Who:
Turret
Humans must have some purpose other than a place to store your neurotoxin. Something I failed to notice before, an intangible quality that makes their test results... significant.
Listens:
2014
Who:
GLaDOS
In case you thought to yourself, 'I've missed the window of time to voice my reservations.' Still open.
Listens:
313
Who:
Wheatley
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