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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Using your ping tool, please indicate where you would like me to place your two portals. Ping each location.
Listens:
448
Who:
GLaDOS
Are we in space yet? What's the hold-up? Gotta go to space. Gotta go to SPACE.
Listens:
1562
Who:
Core 1
You both made it. It seems no matter what I try to do to pull you apart or destroy you, you just keep going. Keep testing.
Listens:
356
Who:
GLaDOS
While I should have left both of you trapped there forever, I do need you for something else.
Listens:
301
Who:
GLaDOS
AH! I've just done it again.
Listens:
377
Who:
Wheatley
I knew it was gonna be cool being in charge of everything, but... wow, this is cool!
Listens:
401
Who:
Wheatley
Are you trying to weigh me down? Think I'll fall out of the ceiling? Won't work. I'm not just quite brilliant, I'm also quite strong. Biggest muscle in my body: my brain. Second biggest: My muscles. So, it's not going to work. Clearly.
Listens:
1159
Who:
Wheatley
It's been a pleasure!
Listens:
475
Who:
Defective Turret
We're in space!
Listens:
2630
Who:
Wheatley
Look at this! No rail to tell us where to go! OH, this is brilliant. We can go where ever we want! Hold on, though, where are we going? Seriously. Hang on, let me just get my bearings. Hm. Just follow the rail, actually.
Listens:
467
Who:
Wheatley
Goodbye!
Listens:
3498
Who:
Turret
Lady.
Listens:
1194
Who:
Core 1
Ohhh. Remember when you picked me up? Five seconds ago! Ohhh, that was amazing! Do it again, pick me up again!
Listens:
423
Who:
Wheatley
AH!
Listens:
4308
Who:
Wheatley
This situation is hopeless.
Listens:
777
Who:
Core 3
Congratulations. I am sure if I had the time to repair these tests, you would have never completed them. So again, congratulations on completing the broken easy tests.
Listens:
525
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, please disregard the following statement: Orange, you have been a shining light in an otherwise ungodly morass of incompetence.
Listens:
624
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
652
Who:
Defective Turret
How was that?
Listens:
381
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, can't win 'em all.
Listens:
404
Who:
Defective Turret
YES YOU ARE! YOU'RE THE MORON THEY BUILT TO MAKE ME AN IDIOT!
Listens:
11937
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody's going to have to repair that too. No, don't get up. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
675
Who:
GLaDOS
What do you think?
Listens:
1394
Who:
Wheatley
Well, hello, stranger!
Listens:
3909
Who:
Defective Turret
Are you broken? It looks like you're malfunctioning.
Listens:
704
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, get moving.
Listens:
327
Who:
Wheatley
To initiate a core transfer, please deposit substitute core in receptacle.
Listens:
1391
Who:
Announcer
So. If you've got any reservations whatsoever about this plan, now would be the time to voice them.
Listens:
389
Who:
Wheatley
Orange, to be clear. I was just asking Blue if he trusted you.
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
The point is: If we can store music on a compact disc, why can't we store a man's intelligence and personality on one? So I have the engineers figuring that out now.
Listens:
2086
Who:
Cave Johnson
*cough cough* Pressthebutton.
Listens:
7669
Who:
Wheatley
Blah.
Listens:
2009
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, you're... doing a great job. Can you handle things for yourself for a while? I need to think.
Listens:
598
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm afraid the door's locked. Just checked it. No way to hack it as far as I can tell. The mechanism must be on the -oh, now look at that. That's a big laser!
Listens:
499
Who:
Wheatley
You just beat this test. Literally twenty seconds ago.
Listens:
735
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, let's try this way.
Listens:
448
Who:
Wheatley
We're still doing science sir.
Listens:
3160
Who:
Caroline
Hmm. This emancipation grill is broken.
Listens:
546
Who:
GLaDOS
Now, escape pod... escape pod...
Listens:
376
Who:
Wheatley
You performed this test better than anyone on record. This is a pre-recorded message.
Listens:
666
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't see a thing. What just happened? Better open fire! [click click click click] Dang!
Listens:
21142
Who:
Defective Turret
At the time of this recording, Federal disclosure policies require us to inform you that this next test is probably lethal and to redirect you to a safer test environment.
Listens:
1591
Who:
Announcer
Wheeeeee-OHNO!
Listens:
8820
Who:
Turret
Yes, I see you, and no, I don't care.
Listens:
5487
Who:
GLaDOS
Agh!
Listens:
335
Who:
Wheatley
But I'm huge! [laugh turning to maniacal laugh]
Listens:
39431
Who:
Wheatley
Your business is appreciated
Listens:
1071
Who:
Turret
Without the looming consequence of death, is this even science?
Listens:
1446
Who:
GLaDOS
Give up? Also the floor. Was the answer that time. Same as before. Still on the floor.
Listens:
311
Who:
Wheatley
[tired breathing] Nevermind. Nevermind. Solve it yourself. You're on your own.
Listens:
553
Who:
Wheatley
You have been a thorn in my side long enough!
Listens:
928
Who:
Wheatley
Well, it was nice catching up. Let's get to business.
Listens:
759
Who:
GLaDOS
Neurotoxin level at capacity in five minutes.
Listens:
4681
Who:
Announcer
In case you were wondering: Yes. I'm still a potato. Go away.
Listens:
8191
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't take anything with you.
Listens:
433
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, what?
Listens:
528
Who:
Defective Turret
Spheres that insist on going into space are inferior to spheres that don't.
Listens:
1060
Who:
Core 3
Wait. Just thought of something? How am I going to get in? You know, being bloody massive and everything.
Listens:
326
Who:
Wheatley
I'll tell ya, it's times like this I wish I had a waist so I could wear all my black belts. Yeah, I'm a black belt. In pretty much everything. Karate. Larate. Jiu Jitsu. Kick punching. Belt making. Taekwondo... Bedroom.
Listens:
17147
Who:
Core 2
Sometimes testing has to occur outside the confines of the lab.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you need real encouragement? Let's see if this helps.
Listens:
428
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't get over how small you are!
Listens:
431
Who:
Wheatley
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
597
Who:
Defective Turret
This is just getting embarrassing.
Listens:
1671
Who:
Defective Turret
Ohhh, not now!
Listens:
533
Who:
Defective Turret
Your brains are too small to feel either of those emotions. So I can trust you one hundred percent.
Listens:
300
Who:
GLaDOS
I am not sure you will need him but he will be there.
Listens:
380
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Moron!
Listens:
24780
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't you DARE plug him in.
Listens:
699
Who:
GLaDOS
That eager voice you heard is the lovely Caroline, my assistant. Rest assured, she has transferred your honorarium to the charitable organization of your choice. Isn't that right, Caroline?
Listens:
1329
Who:
Cave Johnson
Ow. I hate this bird.
Listens:
2013
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah! Brilliant. You made it through, well done.
Listens:
343
Who:
Wheatley
All sealed off years ago, of course.
Listens:
308
Who:
Wheatley
So, once again, just... move along. One small step and everything.
Listens:
318
Who:
Wheatley
The humans can't free themselves.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Oh! Did it kill you? Oh, that would be amazing if it killed you.
Listens:
742
Who:
Wheatley
Don't mind me. Continue escaping.
Listens:
433
Who:
Wheatley
Time to watch the master.
Listens:
508
Who:
Defective Turret
Alright. Paradox time.
Listens:
1315
Who:
GLaDOS
Test chamber completed. In the interest of science, the Enrichment Center proudly presents the following list of numbers: Nine. Seven. Fifty. Three. Seven hundred and seven.
Listens:
1396
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodnight
Listens:
5955
Who:
Turret
Ahhhohohhhh. Wow. Well done, seriously, both of you. Why don't you two go on ahead? I'll catch up with you.
Listens:
2414
Who:
Wheatley
YEAH! What's happening?
Listens:
491
Who:
Defective Turret
Hello?
Listens:
5126
Who:
Turret
Yeah, how ya doin'?
Listens:
507
Who:
Defective Turret
This is trouble.
Listens:
964
Who:
Defective Turret
It's eating me.
Listens:
561
Who:
GLaDOS
AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.
Listens:
552
Who:
Wheatley
Be a shame to miss it, wouldn't it? Just for the old neurotoxin. Neurotoxin will still be here tomorrow. Whereas that bird will be gone any minute. Already got one talon off the branch. Gonna be gone.
Listens:
659
Who:
Wheatley
This is the main breaker room. Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
424
Who:
Wheatley
Destroying them is part of the test. They are no more important to you than you are to me.
Listens:
436
Who:
GLaDOS
Solve his puzzle for him. When he comes back, I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
498
Who:
GLaDOS
The upcoming tests require you to work together as a team.
Listens:
400
Who:
GLaDOS
That's ridiculous, how do they know for sure the tests are deadly if they could still write the suggestion?
Listens:
429
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello? Friend.
Listens:
29788
Who:
Turret
Stalemate Resolution Associate: Please press the Stalemate Resolution Button.
Listens:
2687
Who:
Announcer
Ah. Hmmmm.
Listens:
335
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, I can see it! The feeder tube's just in the next room!
Listens:
296
Who:
Wheatley
This is not good.
Listens:
2185
Who:
Turret
Coming through!
Listens:
2080
Who:
Turret
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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