Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
I'm--do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to work on the assumption that you're still alive and I'm just going to wait for you up ahead.
Listens:
388
Who:
Wheatley
Back, and deadlier than ever!
Listens:
806
Who:
Defective Turret
Yes, do do it!
Listens:
373
Who:
Wheatley
Huh. That was easy.
Listens:
346
Who:
Wheatley
She is a gem.
Listens:
3087
Who:
Cave Johnson
Owww!
Listens:
964
Who:
Turret
I think these test chambers look even better than they did before. It was easy, really. You just have to look at things objectively, see what you don't need anymore, and trim out the fat.
Listens:
3573
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh, yeah, what?
Listens:
528
Who:
Defective Turret
Dang!
Listens:
557
Who:
Defective Turret
Response
Listens:
2835
Who:
Announcer
clickclickclick
Listens:
546
Who:
Defective Turret
ONE Catchmecatchmecatchmecatchmecatchme
Listens:
976
Who:
Wheatley
It is tricky. It is tricky. But just... plug me in, please.
Listens:
314
Who:
Wheatley
Okay! Don't move!
Listens:
351
Who:
Wheatley
Come on! Over here! This way!
Listens:
308
Who:
Wheatley
Just say 'Apple'. Easy word, isn't it? 'Apple'.
Listens:
884
Who:
Wheatley
Diamonds are made when coal is put under intense pressure. Diamonds put under intense pressure become foam pellets, commonly used today as packing material.
Listens:
1915
Who:
Core 3
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
948
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll give you a hint. Button. That's all I'm gonna say. One word. Button.
Listens:
438
Who:
Wheatley
[sigh] Don't tell anyone about this.
Listens:
1491
Who:
Defective Turret
You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you stopping that.
Listens:
399
Who:
GLaDOS
DO press it.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
Also: Look at her, you moron. She's not fat.
Listens:
3648
Who:
GLaDOS
Thank you!
Listens:
4780
Who:
Turret
Incoherent.
Listens:
319
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no. He found the cooperative testing initiative. It's... something I came up to phase out human testing just before you escaped.
Listens:
703
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! But when I DO test... ohhhhh, man alive! Nothing feels better. It's just... why I've gotta test, I've gotta test!
Listens:
1849
Who:
Wheatley
I think I can break us out of here in the next chamber. Just play along.
Listens:
331
Who:
GLaDOS
So I just wanted to give you the chance to kill yourself now. Before you get to the lair. Just, you know, jump into the masher there. Less a death trap and more a death option for you.
Listens:
1315
Who:
Wheatley
QUICK: WHAT'S THE SITUATION? Oh, hey, hi pretty lady. My name's Rick. So, you out having a little adventure?
Listens:
7815
Who:
Core 2
Woooo! I KNEW this would be fun. They told me it wasn't fun at all, and I BELIEVED 'em! Ah! I'm loving this! Whale of a time...
Listens:
714
Who:
Wheatley
Well, you passed the test. I didn't see the deer today. I did see some humans. But with you here I've got more test subjects than I'll ever need.
Listens:
891
Who:
GLaDOS
Quick question: Have you been working out? Because there's no evidence of it. I'm not a plastic cup. We will be landing with some force. So a bit of grip. Just using grip. Classic grip.
Listens:
321
Who:
Wheatley
Come on come on come on!
Listens:
320
Who:
Wheatley
Activated
Listens:
2701
Who:
Turret
After you told me to turn the beam off, I thought I'd lost you. Went poking around for other test subjects. No luck there. Everyone's still all dead.
Listens:
445
Who:
Wheatley
Excellent. Although great science is always the result of collaboration, keep in mind that, like Albert Einstein and his cousin Terry, history will only remember one of you.
Listens:
1868
Who:
GLaDOS
Give me another channnnce!
Listens:
800
Who:
Defective Turret
Well... I'll be here during the whole next test.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
Emotional problems.
Listens:
455
Who:
GLaDOS
If I stop watching, I'm sure you'll get bored of this.
Listens:
333
Who:
GLaDOS
No tricks. This potato only generates 1.1 volts of electricity. I literally do not have the energy to lie to you.
Listens:
7471
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't want to scare you, but, I'm an Adventure Sphere. Designed for danger. So, why don't you go ahead and have yourself a little lady break, and I'll just take it from here.
Listens:
1508
Who:
Core 2
And here I thought this room was dangerously unlethal.
Listens:
328
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test is very dangerous. To help you remain tranquil in the face of almost certain death, smooth jazz will be deployed in three. Two. One. [SMOOTH JAZZ]
Listens:
81021
Who:
Announcer
Space.
Listens:
1001
Who:
Core 1
The Fact Sphere is the most handsome sphere.
Listens:
1217
Who:
Core 3
Have you got any ideas?
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
Manipulative.
Listens:
372
Who:
GLaDOS
Your business is appreciated
Listens:
1057
Who:
Turret
Firing
Listens:
744
Who:
Turret
Hey, I can see it! The feeder tube's just in the next room!
Listens:
289
Who:
Wheatley
Woooaaah!
Listens:
1215
Who:
Turret
Machiavellian!
Listens:
1089
Who:
Wheatley
Hurt me once, shame on me. Hurt me twice...
Listens:
2060
Who:
Defective Turret
Warning: Core overheating. Nuclear meltdown imminent.
Listens:
19587
Who:
Announcer
I was going to kill you fast. With bullets. Or neurotoxin. But if you're going to pull stunts like this, it doesn't have to be fast. So you know. I'll take my time.
Listens:
1618
Who:
GLaDOS
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
1005
Who:
Core 1
Just--do the test! Just do the test.
Listens:
322
Who:
Wheatley
Come on. You were raised better than that.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
To do that, the tests were nothing more than 5 minutes of them walking followed by me praising them for another 10 minutes on how well they walked.
Listens:
379
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, don't sink to Orange's level.
Listens:
324
Who:
GLaDOS
OW! You stabbed me! What is WRONG with yo-WhoOOAAahhh. Hold on. Do you have a multimeter? Nevermind. The gun must be part magnesium... It feels like I'm outputting an extra half a volt. Keep an eye on me: I'm going to do some scheming. Here I g-[BZZZ!]
Listens:
15746
Who:
GLaDOS
Nonononononono!
Listens:
6939
Who:
Defective Turret
The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere.
Listens:
836
Who:
Core 3
Oh, it's fluttering its wings. Tell you what, mate. I'll come in there for a minute and cover you so you can have a look at this lovely bird! I'll come in. I'll do all the neurotoxin stuff. And then you come out here and look at this. Because it is lovely. It is lovely. You want to get out here fast. Seriously, my pleasure sounds are going to frighten the bird away any second. Ohhh, it's not working, is it? He's not interested in bloody birds.
Listens:
3220
Who:
Wheatley
What was that?
Listens:
394
Who:
Wheatley
Plug me in, plug me in!
Listens:
307
Who:
Wheatley
Yes Orange, we are alone. Blue can't hear you.
Listens:
329
Who:
GLaDOS
FOOL! You were a fool to come back, because I've trapped you again! Helpless. You're at my mercy. And I don't have any. You're at my nothing. You're at my lack of mercy.
Listens:
2255
Who:
Wheatley
That is a potato battery. It's a toy for children. And now she lives in it.
Listens:
3763
Who:
Wheatley
If at first you don't succeed, fail 5 more times.
Listens:
29896
Who:
GLaDOS
Try to get us down there. I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
534
Who:
GLaDOS
Aw. Bless your little primate brain. I'm not actually in the room with you. Am I? Technology. It's complicated. Can't hurt the big god face.
Listens:
1800
Who:
Wheatley
Raseph, the Semitic god of war and plague, had a gazelle growing out of his forehead.
Listens:
887
Who:
Core 3
It's been a long time. How have you been?
Listens:
48111
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes. Let's all laugh. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Listens:
6010
Who:
GLaDOS
There's another wall over here!
Listens:
306
Who:
Wheatley
Are you scared to save those humans?
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh I'll tell you what's also down there. Your parents and... There's also an escape elevator!. Down there. Funny. I should have mentioned it before. But so it's down there. So pop down. Jump down. You've got your folks down there and an escape elevator
Listens:
1115
Who:
Wheatley
Turn around. I'll only be a second. If you don't mind.
Listens:
376
Who:
Wheatley
And you'll probably get ringworm. And Athlete's Foot. And... Cholera. Or something... Horrible. It's gonna be even worse than if I'd just blown you up.
Listens:
547
Who:
Wheatley
I honestly never thought we would need to track how many times died in the hub.
Listens:
402
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. [nervous laugh] Can't do it if you're leering at me. Creepy.
Listens:
542
Who:
Wheatley
Undermines others.
Listens:
361
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on!
Listens:
296
Who:
Wheatley
I'm not defective!
Listens:
1425
Who:
Defective Turret
What's a guy gotta do to get some bullets around here?
Listens:
1061
Who:
Defective Turret
If groups of hunter-gatherers appear to have made this - or any - test chamber their home, DO NOT AGITATE THEM. Test through them.
Listens:
456
Who:
GLaDOS
If you had underwear? And a butt? I would pull your underwear... right up your butt.
Listens:
26800
Who:
Core 2
Spinny-blade-wall!
Listens:
686
Who:
Wheatley
Space!
Listens:
1347
Who:
Core 1
Probably.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
I think they wanted to punish them by not allowing me to include them in testing.
Listens:
328
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on. Get a big fat eyeful. With your big fat eyes.
Listens:
2468
Who:
GLaDOS
Absolutely no improvement.
Listens:
846
Who:
Defective Turret
Press the button!
Listens:
1398
Who:
GLaDOS
Space.
Listens:
1033
Who:
Core 1
I'll tell ya, it's times like this I wish I had a waist so I could wear all my black belts. Yeah, I'm a black belt. In pretty much everything. Karate. Larate. Jiu Jitsu. Kick punching. Belt making. Taekwondo... Bedroom.
Listens:
17072
Who:
Core 2
Nooooo. No, I don't think it is. I think you're wrong.
Listens:
2158
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!