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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Oh good, that's back online. I'll start getting everything else working while you perform this first simple test.
Listens:
853
Who:
GLaDOS
'Skeletons.' Right, I guess I DID stockpile some tests.
Listens:
971
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, I'll stop the elevator. Anything? Take your time...
Listens:
481
Who:
GLaDOS
Oo! I've got an idea!
Listens:
566
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, is there something you would like to say?
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes! Come on!
Listens:
863
Who:
GLaDOS
Fifty thousand years is a lot of time to think. About me. About you. We were doing so well together.
Listens:
800
Who:
GLaDOS
Underestimates scope of work. They all do.
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
The Mexican-American War ended in 1848 with the signing of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo.
Listens:
621
Who:
Core 3
You know, if you'd done that to somebody else, they might devote their existences to exacting revenge.
Listens:
1403
Who:
GLaDOS
Aggh, see, now I hit that one, I hit that one...
Listens:
324
Who:
Wheatley
I don't want to drive a wedge between the two of you, but I've been studying Blue's performance, and I don't know how to put this... I'm certain you're trying very hard.
Listens:
1070
Who:
GLaDOS
Your vitals remain well within testing norms, so there is no need to worry about sudden death from collaborative shock syndrome.
Listens:
431
Who:
GLaDOS
So. If you've got any reservations whatsoever about this plan, now would be the time to voice them.
Listens:
382
Who:
Wheatley
Oh oh oh oh. Wait wait. Wait I know. I know. I know wait. Space.
Listens:
1363
Who:
Core 1
Those of you who volunteered to be injected with praying mantis DNA, I've got some good news and some bad news.
Listens:
5098
Who:
Cave Johnson
Your test assignment will vary, depending on the manner in which you have bent the world to your will.
Listens:
1019
Who:
Cave Johnson
Then, when he's no more use to you, he has a little accident. Doesn't he? 'Falls' off his management rail. Doesn't he?
Listens:
584
Who:
Wheatley
The masher does work. I should point that out. I know we've had a couple of problems in the past. This masher definitely works and it will kill you. If that's one of your concerns about jumping in, the masher will kill you. Painless. Well, it won't be painless, obviously. But it will mash you up.
Listens:
648
Who:
Wheatley
This course was originally designed to build confidence in humans.
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
Neurotoxin level at capacity in five minutes.
Listens:
4636
Who:
Announcer
Hello again, this testing course was originally created for humans.
Listens:
1316
Who:
GLaDOS
I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
594
Who:
Wheatley
Here's the plan: Get him to say, 'You two have been a thorn in my side long enough.' Then tell your pretty ears to stand back, because I am going to zing him into the stone age.
Listens:
683
Who:
Core 2
Oh, just open the door! [to self] That's too aggressive. [loud again] Hello, friend! Why not open the door?
Listens:
4001
Who:
Wheatley
AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.
Listens:
547
Who:
Wheatley
Dare it. Dare to dream. Shoot for the stars.
Listens:
548
Who:
Wheatley
I did everything you asked!
Listens:
3364
Who:
Turret
Blue, that transpired just as you said it would.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
Let me give you a clue, it is the one thing you can't do.
Listens:
300
Who:
GLaDOS
Never shares.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
What -what's wrong with being adopted? Um. Well... lack of parents, for one, and... also... furthermore... nothing. Some of my best... friends are... orphans... But...
Listens:
2112
Who:
Wheatley
Get in the lift.
Listens:
332
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, down these stairs.
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
These bridges are made from natural light that I pump in from the surface. If you rubbed your cheek on one, it would be like standing outside with the sun shining on your face. It would also set your hair on fire, so don't actually do it.
Listens:
2304
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop it!
Listens:
5603
Who:
GLaDOS
Pull me out pull me out pull me out pull me out pull me out pull me out pull me out!
Listens:
2971
Who:
Wheatley
Corrupted core, are you ready to start the procedure?
Listens:
1535
Who:
Announcer
This close and that's what you do?
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
Who said that?
Listens:
583
Who:
Defective Turret
Coming! Coming! Don't start yet!
Listens:
307
Who:
Wheatley
If the Earth is currently governed by a manner of animal-king, sentient cloud, or other governing body that either refuses to or is incapable of listening to reason, th- [RECORDING SHORTS OUT]
Listens:
4487
Who:
Announcer
We are going to shut down her turret production line, turn off her neurotoxin, and then confront her.
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
Ummmm. Yeah, I can't do it if you're watching.
Listens:
382
Who:
Wheatley
It's eating me.
Listens:
560
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on!
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
You did it!
Listens:
479
Who:
GLaDOS
times in this test. Not that it matters. It doesn't. So congratulations job well done.
Listens:
368
Who:
GLaDOS
Perhaps I should have specified. Teamwork is a concept in which two or more people work together, usually with a goal of not failing horribly.
Listens:
720
Who:
GLaDOS
I can drop the fake praise.
Listens:
441
Who:
GLaDOS
The moon orbits the Earth every 27.32 days.
Listens:
903
Who:
Core 3
One of my best tests and they let plants grow here? Can you believe this? You can't test plants! We tried. They just sit there, never showing pain nor fear.
Listens:
1659
Who:
GLaDOS
You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
Listens:
577
Who:
GLaDOS
Come on, let's go!
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
Come on. You were raised better than that.
Listens:
356
Who:
GLaDOS
It'll be fine. Get in.
Listens:
349
Who:
Wheatley
Done! Hacked!
Listens:
633
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Pick me up!
Listens:
679
Who:
Wheatley
Powerup initiated.
Listens:
4831
Who:
Announcer
Dang.
Listens:
663
Who:
Defective Turret
Wait. Careful. Let me light this jump for you
Listens:
372
Who:
Wheatley
Before you leave, why don't we do one more test? For old time's sake...
Listens:
367
Who:
GLaDOS
We're not safe yet. Quick! Follow the walkway.
Listens:
321
Who:
Wheatley
The Tariff Act of 1789, established to protect domestic manufacture, was the second statute ever enacted by the United States government.
Listens:
719
Who:
Core 3
Could you just jump into that pit? There. That deadly pit.
Listens:
1974
Who:
Wheatley
Ha ha, YES! I knew you'd solve it!
Listens:
348
Who:
Wheatley
Here, let me get that for you.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you give up? It was the floor. Lying down on the floor. Is where I am. Needing you to pick me up.
Listens:
326
Who:
Wheatley
Do you know where I was?
Listens:
312
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohp! Where are you going? Nowhere. Not going anywhere. Got you trapped like a little jumpsuited rat.
Listens:
693
Who:
Wheatley
Hey.
Listens:
737
Who:
Core 1
RUN! Come on! I'm closing the doors!
Listens:
396
Who:
Wheatley
You see that button over there? You just need to ARRRRRGH!
Listens:
637
Who:
Wheatley
This is a clean room facility, decontaminates can harm the turret redemption process.
Listens:
955
Who:
Announcer
Would you like to know the results of that last test? Me too. If they existed, we'd all be VERY happy right now. And not furious, which is the emotion I'm actually feeling.
Listens:
708
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah! Nice!
Listens:
612
Who:
Core 2
Your business is appreciated
Listens:
1060
Who:
Turret
[laugh trailing off] Actually, why do we have to leave right now?
Listens:
1322
Who:
Wheatley
Excellent! You're a predator and these tests are your prey. Speaking of which, I was researching sharks for an upcoming test. Do you know who else murders people who are only trying to help them?
Listens:
3543
Who:
GLaDOS
Quick word about the future plans that I've got in store.
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
PART FIVE! BOOBYTRAP THE STALEMATE BUTTON!
Listens:
7148
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?
Listens:
479
Who:
Defective Turret
Ha ha ha ha ha, good one.
Listens:
2344
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, did you bring your little portal gun? Nothing to portal onto here, luv. Just ten pounds of dead weight. About to be two hundred and ten. Fatty.
Listens:
7019
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhh, we're so close, plug me in!
Listens:
313
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry about the mess. I've really let the place go since you killed me. By the way, thanks for that.
Listens:
1419
Who:
GLaDOS
Do, uh.... we get some eyes at some point?
Listens:
729
Who:
Defective Turret
But not entirely my fault! You shoulda seen the SIZE of that thing, it was huge! I should have gotten a raise for all the times I DIDN'T bump into it.
Listens:
429
Who:
Wheatley
Estás usando este software de traducción de forma incorrecta. Por favor, consulta el manual.
Listens:
7544
Who:
Wheatley
If you can't complete this course, those humans will die. Do you want that in your memory banks?
Listens:
324
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, it's a core you've put on me! Who told you to do that? Was it her? [as if he's looking around] It's just making me stronger, luv! It's a fool's errand!
Listens:
2812
Who:
Wheatley
three
Listens:
692
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, doubt it.
Listens:
419
Who:
Wheatley
It burns.
Listens:
2877
Who:
Turret
Because of the technical difficulties we are currently experiencing, your test environment is unsupervised.
Listens:
1050
Who:
Announcer
Oh. Sorry. I was just thinking of all the ways humans can die.
Listens:
1584
Who:
GLaDOS
Right. Hmm. I'm gonna have to hack the door so we can get at it.
Listens:
367
Who:
Wheatley
While I cannot control the world outside of the testing courses, the reassembly machine can continue with his work.
Listens:
309
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhh. Another door malfunction. I'm going to take care of this once and for all. Stay here, I'll be back in a while.
Listens:
548
Who:
GLaDOS
Wanna go to space.
Listens:
1037
Who:
Core 1
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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