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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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A... A... A... A... A... A.
Listens:
565
Who:
Wheatley
Spinning thing. Hmmm. Not sure.
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
Nooooo. No, I don't think it is. I think you're wrong.
Listens:
2158
Who:
Wheatley
Crushing's too good for him. First he'll spend a year in the incinerator. Year two: Cryogenic refrigeration wing. Then TEN years in the chamber I built where all the robots scream at you. THEN I'll kill him.
Listens:
4336
Who:
GLaDOS
At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
Listens:
623
Who:
GLaDOS
*cough* PRESS THE BUTTON.
Listens:
34802
Who:
Wheatley
Oh God! Oh, don't need to do that anymore. The jig is up, RUN!
Listens:
946
Who:
Wheatley
Then, then, when I reluctantly assume the responsibility of running the place, you conveniently decide to run off together. Just when I need you most.
Listens:
468
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on, I'll stop the elevator. Anything? Take your time...
Listens:
460
Who:
GLaDOS
Oi, it's close... can you see? Am I gonna make it through? Have I got enough space?
Listens:
762
Who:
Wheatley
I hope you brought something stronger than a portal gun this time.
Listens:
1283
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no. Change of plans. Hold onto me. Tighter!
Listens:
701
Who:
Wheatley
I'm starting to think you don't want to rescue the humans.
Listens:
351
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah!
Listens:
805
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Look at that. It's turning. Ominous. But probably fine. Long as it doesn't start moving up...
Listens:
630
Who:
Wheatley
It's been fun. Don't come back.
Listens:
3829
Who:
GLaDOS
SOLVE IT! Commanding voice...
Listens:
792
Who:
Wheatley
I honestly, TRULY didn't think you'd fall for that.
Listens:
1856
Who:
GLaDOS
Hopeless. Just hopeless.
Listens:
499
Who:
GLaDOS
Thanks to you, I know where to find them, I removed their security and powered up their - uh - rescue door.
Listens:
525
Who:
GLaDOS
Good work! I'm delivering the first core up near the catwalk!
Listens:
390
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay! Don't move!
Listens:
351
Who:
Wheatley
[clap clap]
Listens:
21910
Who:
GLaDOS
Just getting a test ready... For you. Obviously. Who else would I be doing it for? No one.
Listens:
327
Who:
Wheatley
You should now feel mentally reinvigorated. If you suspect staring at art has not provided the required intellectual sustenance, reflect briefly on this classical music. [MUSIC INTERRUPTED BY BUZZER]
Listens:
5843
Who:
Announcer
The likelihood of you dying violently within the next five minutes is eighty-seven point six one percent.
Listens:
1469
Who:
Core 3
I need backup!
Listens:
718
Who:
Turret
In Greek myth, the craftsman Daedalus invented human flight so a group of Minotaurs would stop teasing him about it.
Listens:
866
Who:
Core 3
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
850
Who:
Core 1
Wanna go to space. Space.
Listens:
1000
Who:
Core 1
Oh! Oh oh! Yes. Alright. Just had a brainwave. I'll be back. If you're still alive. I'll be back. Don't die until I get back.
Listens:
1030
Who:
Wheatley
ORANGE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite element from the periodic table.
Listens:
776
Who:
GLaDOS
All cooperative testing courses begin at this central hub.
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you stopping that.
Listens:
399
Who:
GLaDOS
At the start of this course I was worried you were becoming too close but in my attempt to drive you apart I learned something important about trust and betrayal.
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
I know how we can BEAT him.
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhh, now he's playing classical music.
Listens:
3733
Who:
GLaDOS
Your failing does not make this science.
Listens:
427
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Good news! [electic pop] Nevermind.
Listens:
6708
Who:
Wheatley
Thank you!
Listens:
4780
Who:
Turret
Blue, Orange and I were just discussing your behavior on the last few tests.
Listens:
360
Who:
GLaDOS
It is incorrectly noted that Thomas Edison invented 'push-ups' in 1878. Nikolai Tesla had in fact patented the activity three years earlier, under the name 'Tesla-cize.'
Listens:
1582
Who:
Core 3
No! NO! NO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
Listens:
73767
Who:
GLaDOS
Still, though, let's get mad! If we're going to explode, let's at least explode with some dignity.
Listens:
1920
Who:
GLaDOS
Aggh, see, now I hit that one, I hit that one...
Listens:
319
Who:
Wheatley
Human tapeworms can grow up to twenty-two point nine meters.
Listens:
668
Who:
Core 3
I don't even know what I just said! But I can find out!
Listens:
453
Who:
Wheatley
Don't do it.
Listens:
696
Who:
GLaDOS
'Let there be light.' That's, uh... God. I was quoting God.
Listens:
2546
Who:
Wheatley
Avoids responsibility.
Listens:
331
Who:
GLaDOS
Gently cleaning the tongue twice a day is the most effective way to fight bad breath.
Listens:
547
Who:
Core 3
Congratulations on successfully returning to the central hub room. From here you can select all previously completed courses.
Listens:
1126
Who:
Announcer
I did everything you asked!
Listens:
3335
Who:
Turret
Even humans, as stupid as they are, would say you look stupid when you do that.
Listens:
633
Who:
GLaDOS
Space. Space. Gonna go to space.
Listens:
1061
Who:
Core 1
No, seriously. Do come back. Come back, please.
Listens:
1238
Who:
Wheatley
That worked just like you said it would, Blue.
Listens:
319
Who:
GLaDOS
Man, that clock is moving fast. And you are beautiful. Always time to compliment a pretty lady. All right, back to work. Let's do this.
Listens:
752
Who:
Core 2
Did I hit it? I hit it, didn't I?
Listens:
480
Who:
Defective Turret
[hums 'For He's A Jolly Good Fellow']
Listens:
5115
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent. You’re both doing very well.
Listens:
333
Who:
GLaDOS
In order to escape, we're going to have to go through HER chamber.
Listens:
335
Who:
Wheatley
You're just delaying the inevitable. You cannot run from my bombs forever. Well, you can if I keep aiming them poorly. But I'll get better as we go, and you'll just get tired.
Listens:
901
Who:
Wheatley
To initiate a core transfer, please deposit substitute core in receptacle.
Listens:
1354
Who:
Announcer
And here I thought this room was dangerously unlethal.
Listens:
328
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, just in case this pit isn't actually bottomless, do you think maybe you could unstrap one of those long fall boots of yours and shove me into it?
Listens:
653
Who:
GLaDOS
Now I spy something that starts with an 'a'.
Listens:
353
Who:
Wheatley
Excellent work.
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
Can you see the portal gun?
Listens:
526
Who:
Wheatley
I’m sorry, Subject Orange.
Listens:
460
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
1408
Who:
Defective Turret
Getting bored of space.
Listens:
6230
Who:
Core 1
Crap!
Listens:
1072
Who:
Defective Turret
But I'm huge! [laugh turning to maniacal laugh]
Listens:
39103
Who:
Wheatley
I know your cores are reused from calculation machines, built for simple mathematical operations and not for testing, but if we can rescue the humans I promise you something to add maybe even subtract.
Listens:
552
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah! Non-lethal as ever.
Listens:
900
Who:
Defective Turret
There. Fixed.
Listens:
530
Who:
Wheatley
[Whispered] For the record: You ARE adopted, and that's TERRIBLE.
Listens:
4073
Who:
GLaDOS
The...um... sorry.. I wouldn't say smelly. Just attending to the humans.
Listens:
457
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh, not now!
Listens:
523
Who:
Defective Turret
In fact, I devised a much more elaborate trap further ahead, for when you got through this easy one.
Listens:
703
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you broken? It looks like you're malfunctioning.
Listens:
685
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. You MIGHT want to hang onto to something. Word of advice, up to you.
Listens:
330
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, it is GREAT seeing you guys again. Seriously. It turns out I'm a little short on test subjects right now. So this works out PERFECT.
Listens:
431
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, then. Let us see... 'Vital maintenance protocols.' Wow, there are a lot of them. Should have looked into this earlier. Well, let's try this: [reading while typing] DO THEM. [failure buzzer]. Fair enough. Maybe it's a password.
Listens:
2571
Who:
Wheatley
Ah. That just cleans right off, does it? Well, that would have been good to know. A little earlier.
Listens:
515
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
727
Who:
Defective Turret
The average human male is about sixty percent water. Far as we're concerned, that's a little extravagant. So if you feel a bit dehydrated in this next test, that's normal. We're gonna hit you with some jet engines, and see if we can't get you down to twenty or thirty percent.
Listens:
2066
Who:
Cave Johnson
This time is OUR time.
Listens:
1717
Who:
Defective Turret
Alright. Still nothing, let's keep moving.
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
In case you were wondering: Yes. I'm still a potato. Go away.
Listens:
7918
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh thank god, you're alright.
Listens:
1841
Who:
GLaDOS
Irritable.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah.
Listens:
493
Who:
Defective Turret
Narcissist.
Listens:
330
Who:
GLaDOS
It's still going down! Keep it up!
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
The humans closed this test because they said it was too deadly. I thought they would have moved it into the testing track hall of fame for that, not let it deteriorate.
Listens:
488
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, quick recap: We are escaping! That's what's happening now: we're escaping. So you're doing great. Just keep running!
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
And FOOLISH! No way out. At my mercy. And I don't have any. You're at my nothing.
Listens:
1074
Who:
Wheatley
[fast gibberish]
Listens:
5819
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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