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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Space. Space. Gonna go to space.
Listens:
1067
Who:
Core 1
Right on that stick over there. Just put me right on it.
Listens:
298
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Hey! Up here!
Listens:
363
Who:
Wheatley
Tell you what, here's a plan. Let's just both... continue contemplating... in absolute silence...
Listens:
337
Who:
Wheatley
Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else.
Listens:
527
Who:
Wheatley
Now let's continue testing.
Listens:
1166
Who:
GLaDOS
Right behind me.
Listens:
311
Who:
Wheatley
You never considered that maybe I tested you to give the endless hours of your pointless existence some structure and meaning. Maybe to help you concentrate, so just maybe you’d think of something more worthwhile to do with your sorry life.
Listens:
2629
Who:
GLaDOS
Heh heh heh. Alright? I don't know whether you're picking up on what I'm saying there, but...
Listens:
353
Who:
Wheatley
'Hygiene.' Huh. That's all it says.
Listens:
465
Who:
GLaDOS
I am going to risk having you go outside the official courses one more time.
Listens:
315
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Thanks.
Listens:
492
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Wow! Good! I did not think that was going to work.
Listens:
920
Who:
Wheatley
You should both be familiar with the game of Tic-Tac-Toe.
Listens:
502
Who:
GLaDOS
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other’s performance so far.
Listens:
464
Who:
GLaDOS
No, you should plug that little idiot into the mainframe!
Listens:
722
Who:
Wheatley
We're not gonna release this stuff into the wild until it's good and damn ready, so as long as you keep yourself in top physical form, there'll always be a limo waiting for you.
Listens:
1034
Who:
Cave Johnson
You're just delaying the inevitable. You cannot run from my bombs forever. Well, you can if I keep aiming them poorly. But I'll get better as we go, and you'll just get tired.
Listens:
933
Who:
Wheatley
I know you like to think the reassembly machine is at your beck and call, but he has a life you know. He's not your slave.
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
Pleased to meetcha.
Listens:
976
Who:
Defective Turret
Sorry, what?
Listens:
2257
Who:
Wheatley
Core transfer?
Listens:
831
Who:
GLaDOS
Nap time
Listens:
3455
Who:
Turret
You will know it when you find it.
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
Had a bit of a brain wave. There I was, smashing some steel plates together, and I thought, 'yes, it's deadly. But what's missing? What's missing?' And I thought lots of sharp bits welded onto the flat bits.
Listens:
2008
Who:
Wheatley
Can I get some bullets here? Anybody got bullets?
Listens:
747
Who:
Defective Turret
Do not press that button!
Listens:
916
Who:
Wheatley
Narcissist.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
It seems kind of silly to point this out, since you're running around plotting to destroy me. But I'd say we're done testing.
Listens:
512
Who:
GLaDOS
ORANGE, please observe your partner's favorite animal.
Listens:
535
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. So that last test was... seriously disappointing. Apparently being civil isn't motivating you. So let's try things her way... fatty. Adopted fatty. Fatty fatty no-parents.
Listens:
7762
Who:
Wheatley
Heh heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
1189
Who:
GLaDOS
I HAVE to test. All the time. Or I get this... this ITCH. It must be hardwired into the system or something.
Listens:
1208
Who:
Wheatley
I know I've painted quite a grim picture of your chances. But if you simply stand here, we will both surely die.
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
All those pieces of the ceiling that keep falling out? Probably actually pieces of the ceiling, I'll bet. That looked real. But it doesn't signify anything, is my point.
Listens:
461
Who:
Wheatley
Very impressive! Because this message is prerecorded, any comments we may make about your success are speculation on our part. Please disregard any undeserved compliments.
Listens:
1427
Who:
GLaDOS
Each portal gun may create two self-contained portals.
Listens:
408
Who:
GLaDOS
They say great science is built on the shoulders of giants. Not here. At Aperture, we do all our science from scratch. No hand holding.
Listens:
3657
Who:
Cave Johnson
What do you have there?
Listens:
307
Who:
Wheatley
That's funny, I don't feel corrupt. In fact, I feel pretty good.
Listens:
1913
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh great, dancing again.
Listens:
828
Who:
GLaDOS
Perhaps I should have specified. Teamwork is a concept in which two or more people work together, usually with a goal of not failing horribly.
Listens:
723
Who:
GLaDOS
Warning: Core overheating. Nuclear meltdown imminent.
Listens:
20438
Who:
Announcer
No!
Listens:
690
Who:
Wheatley
So, when you kill that guy, do you have a cool line? You know, prepared? Tell you what: Lemme help you with that while you run around.
Listens:
536
Who:
Core 2
There's nothing in space! That's why it's space!
Listens:
5732
Who:
Core 2
Okay, I'll take that as a no, then.
Listens:
423
Who:
Wheatley
Self test error
Listens:
1488
Who:
Turret
Hey hey hey hey hey!
Listens:
1258
Who:
Core 1
Carry on.
Listens:
309
Who:
Wheatley
And they said no one would ever die during this test, thanks for proving them wrong.
Listens:
471
Who:
GLaDOS
Then we'd come and find you. And rip your gross little stupid sphere body out of MY body, and put me back in.
Listens:
496
Who:
GLaDOS
Lady. I love space. I know! Spell it! S P... AACE. Space. Space.
Listens:
21116
Who:
Core 1
Reactor Explosion Uncertainty Emergency Preemption Protocol initiated: This facility will self destruct in two minutes.
Listens:
8851
Who:
Announcer
Yes. Let's all laugh. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Listens:
6098
Who:
GLaDOS
While the submarine is vastly superior to the boat in every way, over 97% of people still use boats for aquatic transportation.
Listens:
855
Who:
Core 3
Hmmm. Hmmmmmm. Hmm. Hmmmmm. Space!
Listens:
2491
Who:
Core 1
Well, maybe it's time I did something then.
Listens:
363
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, this next test may involve trace amounts of time travel. So, word of advice: If you meet yourself on the testing track, don't make eye contact. Lab boys tell me that'll wipe out time. Entirely. Forward and backward! So do both of yourselves a favor and just let that handsome devil go about his business.
Listens:
7628
Who:
Cave Johnson
Try something.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
Woooaaah!
Listens:
1223
Who:
Turret
Gotta go to space.
Listens:
910
Who:
Core 1
Turn around. I'll only be a second. If you don't mind.
Listens:
382
Who:
Wheatley
We should be getting close. Ohh, I can't wait to see the look on her face. No neurotoxin, no turrets--she'll never know what hit her!
Listens:
421
Who:
Wheatley
The engineers tried everything to make me... behave. To slow me down.
Listens:
930
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no, you've got it, you've got it! Yes! Put him in there! Let's see how this place likes a crap turret.
Listens:
524
Who:
Wheatley
What's going on?
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
You’ve made your point.
Listens:
835
Who:
Turret
No, seriously. Do come back. Come back, please.
Listens:
1251
Who:
Wheatley
Resting
Listens:
701
Who:
Turret
Am I being too vague? I despise you. I loathe you. You arrogant, smugly quiet, awful jumpsuited monster of a woman. You and your little potato friend. This place would have been a triumph if it wasn't for you!
Listens:
22992
Who:
Wheatley
In the event that it does, this next test involves exposure to cattle tuberculosis. Good luck!
Listens:
785
Who:
GLaDOS
Get dirty with this robot! This robot owes you money! This robot owes! You! Money!
Listens:
1341
Who:
Core 2
I was able - well, forced really - to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever.
Listens:
882
Who:
GLaDOS
This close and you are going to fail me?
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m scared!
Listens:
1039
Who:
Turret
Turret redemption lines are not rides, please exit the turret redemption line.
Listens:
1357
Who:
Announcer
Where do I get my gun?
Listens:
780
Who:
Defective Turret
Now, if you're part of Control Group Kepler-Seven, we implanted a tiny microchip about the size of a postcard into your skull. Most likely you've forgotten it's even there, but if it starts vibrating and beeping during this next test, let us know, because that means it's about to hit five hundred degrees, so we're gonna need to go ahead and get that out of you pretty fast.
Listens:
3948
Who:
Cave Johnson
Gotta go to space. Yeah. Gotta go to space.
Listens:
1179
Who:
Core 1
Ha ha! Gotcha right where I want ya!
Listens:
726
Who:
Defective Turret
You think I'll betray you. And on any other day, you'd be right.
Listens:
422
Who:
GLaDOS
Let me answer those questions with a question: Who wants to make sixty dollars? Cash.
Listens:
1867
Who:
Cave Johnson
Did you put a virus in them? It's not going to work either. I've got a firewall, mate. Literally, actually, now that I look around. There appears to be literally a wall of fire around this place. Alarming. To say the least.
Listens:
24728
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. What you're doing there is jumping. You just... you just jumped. But nevermind. Say 'Apple'. 'Aaaapple.'
Listens:
3693
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, listen, let me lay something on you here. It's pretty heavy. They told me NEVER NEVER EVER to disengage myself from my Management Rail. Or I would DIE. But we're out of options here. So... get ready to catch me, alright, on the off chance that I'm not dead the moment I pop off this thing.
Listens:
960
Who:
Wheatley
Hi?
Listens:
905
Who:
Turret
Your business is appreciated
Listens:
1065
Who:
Turret
Are you alive down there?
Listens:
485
Who:
Wheatley
Blabbermouth.
Listens:
473
Who:
GLaDOS
Do either of you feel like laughing?
Listens:
1333
Who:
GLaDOS
To ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled. The Enrichment Center respects your right to have questions or concerns about this policy.
Listens:
1368
Who:
Announcer
I can't decide which is my favorite; the crushers for crushing you or the reassembly machine for putting you back together so you can be crushed again.
Listens:
501
Who:
GLaDOS
Just get it off me...
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
Door?
Listens:
410
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I gave it everything I could. Can't ask for more than that.
Listens:
572
Who:
Defective Turret
There's some sort of control room up top. Let's go investigate.
Listens:
311
Who:
Wheatley
Fears intimacy.
Listens:
304
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, look, the point is, we're gonna break out of here! Very soon, I promise, I promise!
Listens:
313
Who:
Wheatley
Can you hear that? She has really kicked this place into high gear now.
Listens:
327
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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