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Portal 2
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TF2 Music
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Come on! Over here! This way!
Listens:
275
Who:
Wheatley
Welcome back quitters, maybe you can find another course for you to fail.
Listens:
593
Who:
GLaDOS
You've probably figured it out by now, but I don't need you anymore.
Listens:
289
Who:
Wheatley
This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
Listens:
506
Who:
GLaDOS
The scientists were always hanging cores on me to regulate my behavior. I've heard voices all my life. But now I hear the voice of a conscience, and it's terrifying, because for the first time it's my voice.
Listens:
1570
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, I wouldn't have trusted Orange in that course either.
Listens:
275
Who:
GLaDOS
Designed this test myself. It's a little bit difficult.
Listens:
284
Who:
Wheatley
NO!
Listens:
790
Who:
GLaDOS
You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
Listens:
494
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll tell ya, it's times like this I wish I had a waist so I could wear all my black belts. Yeah, I'm a black belt. In pretty much everything. Karate. Larate. Jiu Jitsu. Kick punching. Belt making. Taekwondo... Bedroom.
Listens:
16951
Who:
Core 2
Here's an interesting fact: you're not breathing real air. It's too expensive to pump this far down. We just take carbon dioxide out of a room, freshen it up a little, and pump it back in. So you'll be breathing the same room full of air for the rest of your life. I thought that was interesting.
Listens:
4721
Who:
GLaDOS
Aggressive. I like that.
Listens:
913
Who:
GLaDOS
Two. One or two more tremors in there. Just for fun.
Listens:
317
Who:
Wheatley
I don't hate you
Listens:
12950
Who:
Turret
*cough* PRESS THE BUTTON.
Listens:
33756
Who:
Wheatley
NO!
Listens:
539
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you alright back there? Here, I'll turn the beam off.
Listens:
663
Who:
Wheatley
A, A, A, A, A, A. [NNNT!] No. A, A, A, A, A, B. [NNNT!] Hold on, I've done both of these. Skip ahead. A, B, C... D, G, H.[DING!]
Listens:
172336
Who:
Wheatley
What are you doing, are you just having a little five minutes to yourself? Fair enough. You've had a rough time. You've been asleep for who knows how long. You've got the massive brain damage. And you're having a little rest. But NOW. Get yourself up. And pick me up.
Listens:
1111
Who:
Wheatley
Baking Soda Volcano. Well, at least it's not a potato battery, I'll give it that. Still not terrifically original, though. Not exactly primary research, even within the child sciences.
Listens:
1030
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, let's see. Cool line... He's... big. He's... just hangin' there. Okay. Yeah, all right, here we go: 'Hang around.' That might be too easy.
Listens:
548
Who:
Core 2
Ha... That sounded real. No! That was actually an impression of you. Actually. Because you just fell into my trap. My brilliant trap. Just then. I wanted you to trick me into bursting that pipe. You didn't trick me. Seemingly trick me. Gives you false hope. Leads to overconfidence. And that leads to mistakes. Fatal mistakes. It's all part of my plan.
Listens:
2053
Who:
Wheatley
Please continue into the next test chamber.
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
That’s right. You're not humans.
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, then. Let us see... 'Vital maintenance protocols.' Wow, there are a lot of them. Should have looked into this earlier. Well, let's try this: [reading while typing] DO THEM. [failure buzzer]. Fair enough. Maybe it's a password.
Listens:
2522
Who:
Wheatley
Don't shoot!
Listens:
2488
Who:
Turret
This is not good.
Listens:
2065
Who:
Turret
By completing all test courses, you have achieved Level C security clearance. You may now access all testing courses and three of Aperture Science's 176 restrooms.
Listens:
1283
Who:
Announcer
science collaboration points.
Listens:
636
Who:
GLaDOS
At the end of The Seagull by Anton Chekhov, Konstantin kills himself.
Listens:
574
Who:
Core 3
Just say 'Apple'. Classic. Very simple.
Listens:
795
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, alright.
Listens:
439
Who:
Defective Turret
Space space going to space oh boy
Listens:
2123
Who:
Core 1
While I do need you to be in the room so I can see them, I want to be clear. There is no reason whatsoever for you to look at them.
Listens:
276
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop doing that! All you need to do is open the Vault door!
Listens:
372
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't listen to her, do it.
Listens:
297
Who:
Wheatley
But I need to protect the humans!
Listens:
4297
Who:
Turret
If you can't complete this course, those humans will die. Do you want that in your memory banks?
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
You're saying to yourself, why should I jump into the pit? I'll tell you why. Guess who's down there? Your parents! You're not adopted after all! It's your natural parents down there in the pit. Should have mentioned it before. But I didn't. So jump on down and reunite with mommy and daddy.
Listens:
2929
Who:
Wheatley
You are going to die in this room.
Listens:
747
Who:
Core 3
This test is so outside the box, I can't-- I mean WON'T even tell you what you are looking for.
Listens:
311
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
1309
Who:
Turret
Wait here. Don't go anywhere. I'll be back.
Listens:
475
Who:
GLaDOS
We are?
Listens:
656
Who:
Core 1
Absolutely no improvement.
Listens:
806
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm going to space.
Listens:
1181
Who:
Core 1
Blue, why did you do that to Orange?
Listens:
302
Who:
GLaDOS
I love space. Love space.
Listens:
1026
Who:
Core 1
I think they wanted to punish them by not allowing me to include them in testing.
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
Aw, come on!
Listens:
671
Who:
Defective Turret
For this next test, the humans originally requested helmets to avoid brain injuries. I ran the numbers. Making the goo deadly was more cost effective.
Listens:
537
Who:
GLaDOS
Duck and weave, duck and weave! Ohh, the sweet science.
Listens:
481
Who:
Core 2
Lady.
Listens:
793
Who:
Core 1
That did it! Neurotoxin at zero percent! Yes!
Listens:
356
Who:
Wheatley
Space. Trial. Puttin' the system on trial. In space. Space system. On trial. Guilty. Of being in space! Going to space jail!
Listens:
35246
Who:
Core 1
Excuse me
Listens:
2074
Who:
Turret
Substitute core, are you ready to start the procedure?
Listens:
1287
Who:
Announcer
[Whispered] For the record: You ARE adopted, and that's TERRIBLE.
Listens:
3810
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange is penalized
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't bite my tongue anymore: You could solve this puzzle faster on your own. Orange is dragging you down. There. I've said it.
Listens:
653
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, so it's not the most watertight plan to go confront an omnipotent power-mad A.I. with.
Listens:
409
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, deleting Caroline just now taught me a valuable lesson. The best solution to a problem is usually the easiest one. And I'll be honest.
Listens:
1559
Who:
GLaDOS
Just, ah... pick me up. Take me with you.
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
HA! The tube's broken! We can ride it straight to her!
Listens:
291
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
536
Who:
Defective Turret
DANCING is NOT SCIENCE!
Listens:
45540
Who:
GLaDOS
Still running. Alright. Looks tiring. Tell you what - you stop running and I'll stop bombing you... That seems fair.
Listens:
486
Who:
Wheatley
Anyway, don't smudge up the glass down there. In fact, why don't you just go ahead and not touch anything unless it's test related.
Listens:
1037
Who:
Cave Johnson
What's happening? Um. Hmm... Ok.
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
I love space.
Listens:
1017
Who:
Core 1
Okay. Here's a good idea. You should definitely press that button.
Listens:
376
Who:
Wheatley
Don't plug him in.
Listens:
406
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, stop moving.
Listens:
418
Who:
Wheatley
...unless a stalemate associate is present to press the stalemate resolution button.
Listens:
2381
Who:
Announcer
Go on.
Listens:
310
Who:
Wheatley
Excellent. Although great science is always the result of collaboration, keep in mind that, like Albert Einstein and his cousin Terry, history will only remember one of you.
Listens:
1748
Who:
GLaDOS
I give you a score of 3.4 for style and 10 for being annoying.
Listens:
1348
Who:
GLaDOS
Critical error
Listens:
13042
Who:
Turret
Template
Listens:
3045
Who:
Announcer
Take me with you...
Listens:
937
Who:
Turret
The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
Listens:
743
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m scared!
Listens:
915
Who:
Turret
Alalalawl
Listens:
5575
Who:
Turret
Hold on! The neurotoxin levels are going down.
Listens:
332
Who:
Wheatley
Substitute core accepted.
Listens:
1324
Who:
Announcer
Uhoh
Listens:
943
Who:
Turret
Okay. Look. We both said a lot of things that you're going to regret. But I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster.
Listens:
28663
Who:
GLaDOS
Get in the lift.
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
Warning: Core corruption at 75 percent.
Listens:
4965
Who:
Announcer
Hey lady. Lady. I'm the best. I'm the best at space.
Listens:
3101
Who:
Core 1
Can you get out?
Listens:
273
Who:
Wheatley
This close and you are going to fail me?
Listens:
311
Who:
GLaDOS
Space. Space.
Listens:
1736
Who:
Core 1
Lady.
Listens:
624
Who:
Core 1
Again, though, for the moment: RUN!
Listens:
401
Who:
Wheatley
Get going. I'll fill you in along the way.
Listens:
649
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahh. What?
Listens:
888
Who:
Wheatley
Mr. Johnson, I don't want this.
Listens:
8672
Who:
Caroline
Keep moving! Just keep moving!
Listens:
277
Who:
Wheatley
For that Blue is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
953
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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