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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Initiating surprise in three... two... one.
Listens:
3596
Who:
GLaDOS
Is it the lack of mirrors in test chambers that encourages you to do this?
Listens:
284
Who:
GLaDOS
And guess what? Ground up moon rocks are pure poison. I am deathly ill.
Listens:
6443
Who:
Cave Johnson
Undelete, undelete! Where's the undelete button?
Listens:
2660
Who:
Wheatley
Ahhh...
Listens:
676
Who:
Wheatley
Aristotle versus Mashy-spike-plate!
Listens:
28486
Who:
Wheatley
Hello.
Listens:
4256
Who:
Turret
Your failure brings back such wonderful memories.
Listens:
695
Who:
GLaDOS
Try one of those childish gestures.
Listens:
471
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhhhh!
Listens:
419
Who:
Wheatley
I have to agree. Orange is penalized 75 science collaboration points.
Listens:
371
Who:
GLaDOS
Always sad.
Listens:
576
Who:
GLaDOS
Correct Blue, Orange can't hear you.
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
Dammit, we know! Everybody knows! Space! You! In it! We get it!
Listens:
31906
Who:
Core 2
Good!
Listens:
3059
Who:
Announcer
Do not do it!
Listens:
345
Who:
Wheatley
Happy Explosion Day, gorgeous.
Listens:
3352
Who:
Core 2
Excellent. You’re both doing very well.
Listens:
326
Who:
GLaDOS
Space.
Listens:
1036
Who:
Core 1
Um. 'TRUE'. I'll go 'true'.
Listens:
20400
Who:
Wheatley
Don't do it.
Listens:
686
Who:
GLaDOS
Give me another channnnce!
Listens:
800
Who:
Defective Turret
Hi again!
Listens:
939
Who:
Defective Turret
Look at that, it's growing right up into the ceiling. The whole place is probably overrun with potatoes at this point. At least you won't starve, though.
Listens:
1610
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, hello! No, we're not stopping!
Listens:
789
Who:
Wheatley
Excellent. Although great science is always the result of collaboration, keep in mind that, like Albert Einstein and his cousin Terry, history will only remember one of you.
Listens:
1848
Who:
GLaDOS
She was provoking you.
Listens:
831
Who:
Turret
Oh! Sorry. The lift. Sorry. I keep forgetting.
Listens:
492
Who:
Wheatley
She’s probably okay.
Listens:
736
Who:
Turret
Blue
Listens:
1803
Who:
GLaDOS
Since it doesn't look like we're going anywhere... Well, we are going somewhere. Alarmingly fast, actually. But since we're not busy other than that, here's a couple of facts.
Listens:
735
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, that transpired just as you said it would.
Listens:
328
Who:
GLaDOS
Inattentive listener.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
Right. Well, I’m going to take this rail down the back way.
Listens:
370
Who:
Wheatley
This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
Listens:
537
Who:
GLaDOS
All sealed off years ago, of course.
Listens:
298
Who:
Wheatley
All right, your funeral. Your beautiful-lady-corpse open casket funeral.
Listens:
766
Who:
Core 2
Space? SPACE!
Listens:
24135
Who:
Core 1
Ohhhhh, yes. Ohhhh. Well done.
Listens:
4500
Who:
Wheatley
Take me with you? Please?
Listens:
904
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue just taught orange a valuable lesson in trust. For that, blue receives 14 science collaboration points.
Listens:
420
Who:
GLaDOS
And what else is down there... Tell you what, it's only a new jumpsuit. A very trendy designer jumpsuit from France. Down there. Which is exactly your size. And if it's a bit baggy, we got a tailor down there as well who can take it in for you
Listens:
824
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, get moving.
Listens:
317
Who:
Wheatley
Incoherent.
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyway, here's a new cube for you to project your deranged loneliness onto.
Listens:
947
Who:
GLaDOS
And we would have talked our way out of it. Oh! Except you forgot to tell me you'd murdered her. And that she needed you to live, so the only available vent for her rage would be good old crushable Wheatley. Yeah. Little details I remember. Easy little tidbits you could have used to save me from getting crushed if you'd cared, which you didn't, obviously. And still don't.
Listens:
3361
Who:
Wheatley
Ungh!
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
I’m flyinnnng!
Listens:
2526
Who:
Turret
As long as I don't listen to what I'm saying, I should be okay.
Listens:
324
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, do you feel betrayed by orange for telling me those horrible things about you?
Listens:
307
Who:
GLaDOS
Begin juggling test in three. Two. One.
Listens:
823
Who:
GLaDOS
Most of them are simply good test subjects.
Listens:
290
Who:
GLaDOS
Can you see the portal gun?
Listens:
520
Who:
Wheatley
Avoids responsibility.
Listens:
323
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you okay? Are you - Don't answer that. I'm absolutely sure you're fine. There's plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
528
Who:
Wheatley
If you are a non-employee who has discovered this facility amid the ruins of civilization, welcome! And remember: Testing is the future, and the future starts with you.
Listens:
3483
Who:
Announcer
I know you.
Listens:
572
Who:
GLaDOS
Coming through!
Listens:
2056
Who:
Turret
I'm--do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to work on the assumption that you're still alive and I'm just going to wait for you up ahead.
Listens:
381
Who:
Wheatley
Don't press that button. You don't know what you're doing.
Listens:
1761
Who:
GLaDOS
Going to space.
Listens:
1024
Who:
Core 1
Yes, I see you.
Listens:
798
Who:
GLaDOS
Haha, Mr. Johnson!
Listens:
2156
Who:
Caroline
Did you hear that? I think something just exploded. Man, we are in a lot of danger. This is like Christmas. No, it's better than Christmas. This should be its own holiday. Explosion Day!
Listens:
2351
Who:
Core 2
Designed this test myself. It's a little bit difficult.
Listens:
310
Who:
Wheatley
So go ahead and jump. What's the worst that could happen? Oh. Oh wait, I just now thought of the worst thing. Oh! I just thought of something even worse. Alright. New, better plan: no imagining of any potential outcomes whatsoever. Just jump, into the abyss, there, and let's see what happens.
Listens:
616
Who:
Wheatley
AH!
Listens:
703
Who:
Wheatley
I went and spoke with the door mainframe. Let's just say he won't be... well, living anymore. Anyway, back to testing.
Listens:
1523
Who:
GLaDOS
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
803
Who:
Core 3
Hold on! The neurotoxin levels are going down.
Listens:
363
Who:
Wheatley
That's his voice up ahead.
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
I have the results of the last chamber: You are a horrible person. That's what it says: A horrible person. We weren't even testing for that.
Listens:
3542
Who:
GLaDOS
Have you got any ideas?
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
The irony is that you were almost at the last test.
Listens:
498
Who:
GLaDOS
According to Norse legend, thunder god Thor's chariot was pulled across the sky by two goats.
Listens:
819
Who:
Core 3
Brilliant you made it through! Well done! Follow me, we've still got work to do. At least she can't touch us back here.
Listens:
468
Who:
Wheatley
A...A...A...A...A... Umm... A.
Listens:
435
Who:
Wheatley
Without the consequence of death, is this even science?
Listens:
515
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't let that 'horrible person' thing discourage you. It's just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep.
Listens:
6509
Who:
GLaDOS
Dang.
Listens:
659
Who:
Defective Turret
That was nobody’s fault.
Listens:
762
Who:
Turret
In the event that it does, this next test involves exposure to cattle tuberculosis. Good luck!
Listens:
752
Who:
GLaDOS
In 1862, Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, freeing the slaves. Like everything he did, Lincoln freed the slaves while sleepwalking, and later had no memory of the event.
Listens:
1678
Who:
Core 3
Grab it and attach it to him!
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll wait--I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead.
Listens:
819
Who:
Wheatley
Even I was created with a imperfection, I was given too much empathy with human suffering.
Listens:
406
Who:
GLaDOS
*cough* PRESS THE BUTTON.
Listens:
34581
Who:
Wheatley
And off we go.
Listens:
364
Who:
Wheatley
For instance, Orange, you just lost two opportunity advisement points.
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
This course was created and then abandoned by humans. They tend to do that, create something wonderful and then abandon it.
Listens:
980
Who:
GLaDOS
Feeds off the misery of others.
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
It won't be enough.
Listens:
1065
Who:
Turret
Hmm. This emancipation grill is broken.
Listens:
521
Who:
GLaDOS
Just stop it already.
Listens:
626
Who:
GLaDOS
And that makes 10.
Listens:
388
Who:
GLaDOS
The average life expectancy of a rhinoceros in captivity is 15 years.
Listens:
677
Who:
Core 3
So. How are you holding up?
Listens:
2474
Who:
GLaDOS
Fine. Let the games begin.
Listens:
4134
Who:
Wheatley
But now, looking around, seeing Aperture restored to its former glory? You don't have to worry about leaving EVER again. I mean that.
Listens:
463
Who:
GLaDOS
So much space. Need to see it all.
Listens:
1919
Who:
Core 1
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