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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Finally! I had almost given up hope of ever testing again.
Listens:
444
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't listen to him. Jump.
Listens:
479
Who:
GLaDOS
Almost there! Remember: you're looking for a gun that makes holes. Not bullet holes, but-- well, you'll figure it out. Really do hold on this time!
Listens:
712
Who:
Wheatley
You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, look up at the ceiling. [BUZZER]
Listens:
2998
Who:
Announcer
Look at you. Sailing through the air majestically. Like an eagle. Piloting a blimp.
Listens:
11074
Who:
GLaDOS
A somersault is just falling over in style. Congratulations on being clumsy.
Listens:
433
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't plug him in.
Listens:
453
Who:
GLaDOS
No. No. That was the solution. Rrrg! What am I missing?
Listens:
333
Who:
Wheatley
A... A... A... A... A... A.
Listens:
533
Who:
Wheatley
Coming through!
Listens:
2051
Who:
Turret
Let's do it again! Pick me up again!
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
Quick question: Have you been working out? Because there's no evidence of it. I'm not a plastic cup. We will be landing with some force. So a bit of grip. Just using grip. Classic grip.
Listens:
316
Who:
Wheatley
He's taking us right TO him! This is PERFECT.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh.
Listens:
372
Who:
Wheatley
Maybe I shouldn't send you outside of the official testing courses, you are picking up some bad human traits.
Listens:
437
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry! Sorry. My fault.
Listens:
426
Who:
Wheatley
Cheater.
Listens:
532
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, don't sink to Orange's level.
Listens:
298
Who:
GLaDOS
Sir!
Listens:
1363
Who:
Caroline
The portal will open and something will happen that Subject Blue is too smart to need any instructions about in three. Two. One.
Listens:
375
Who:
GLaDOS
Again, those are science collaboration points, which you should not confuse with points from competitions such as Who-Gets-To-Live-At-The-End-And-Who-Doesn’t. I mean basketball.
Listens:
1428
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you think the electrical switch was down there?
Listens:
285
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not press that button!
Listens:
852
Who:
Wheatley
Space. Trial. Puttin' the system on trial. In space. Space system. On trial. Guilty. Of being in space! Going to space jail!
Listens:
35444
Who:
Core 1
Look out! I'm right behind you! No, of course I'm not. Saw through that too. Forty feet tall, right in front of you. Not my greatest ruse. To be honest. Still a giant robot, though.
Listens:
1216
Who:
Wheatley
This way! This way!
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
Have I ever told you the qualities I love most in you? In order: Number one: resolving things, love the ways you resolve things. Particularly disputes. Number one, tied: Button-pushing. Two things I love about you: Button pushing and the ability to resolve things. Chiefly disputes.
Listens:
711
Who:
Wheatley
[whispered] ...I think she's lying...
Listens:
540
Who:
Wheatley
Chronically late.
Listens:
347
Who:
GLaDOS
The lab boys just informed me that I should not have mentioned the control group. They're telling me I oughtta stop making these pre-recorded messages. That gave me an idea: make more pre-recorded messages. I pay the bills here, I can talk about the control group all damn day.
Listens:
3268
Who:
Cave Johnson
You won't regret this!
Listens:
682
Who:
Defective Turret
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
7174
Who:
GLaDOS
Corrupted Core: are you ready to start?
Listens:
2707
Who:
Announcer
...What are you doing?...
Listens:
1261
Who:
GLaDOS
The surge of emotion that shot through me when I saved your life taught me an even more valuable lesson: where Caroline lives in my brain.
Listens:
1338
Who:
GLaDOS
A nanosecond lasts one billionth of a second.
Listens:
550
Who:
Core 3
Hold on, [click click click] Ah, the bloody bombs are stuck on. Doesn't matter - I've reconfigured the shields.
Listens:
1045
Who:
Wheatley
Did you know, the reassembly machine has other things it could be reassembling?
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Oh! Don't leave me behind! Do pick me up, if you would...
Listens:
389
Who:
Wheatley
In fact, I'm going to have to take a break for a minute. A partial break during which I'll stop the facility from exploding while still throwing bombs at you.
Listens:
574
Who:
Wheatley
Space.
Listens:
1011
Who:
Core 1
Quick word about the future plans that I've got in store.
Listens:
279
Who:
Wheatley
While I cannot control the world outside of the testing courses, the reassembly machine can continue with his work.
Listens:
284
Who:
GLaDOS
Carry on.
Listens:
297
Who:
Wheatley
Do it!
Listens:
476
Who:
Wheatley
Fears conflict.
Listens:
315
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, an eclipse! No. Don't look.
Listens:
1542
Who:
Core 1
Anyway, don't smudge up the glass down there. In fact, why don't you just go ahead and not touch anything unless it's test related.
Listens:
1051
Who:
Cave Johnson
Whoa-ho-ho! Would you look at this. Not too bad, eh? Giant robot. Massive! It's not just me, right? I'm bloody massive, aren't I?
Listens:
633
Who:
Wheatley
Blah.
Listens:
1013
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah. Clickety click click. Right on the money.
Listens:
3267
Who:
Defective Turret
Keep it up and you will lose 500 points.
Listens:
875
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, now you're just being cruel. Blue receives 25 science collaboration points.
Listens:
388
Who:
GLaDOS
It's alright! Everything's good. I just invented some more tests!
Listens:
317
Who:
Wheatley
You are the farthest ever in space. Why me, space? Because you are the best. I'm the best at space? Yes.
Listens:
21794
Who:
Core 1
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
586
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't press it! COME BACK!
Listens:
923
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, it is GREAT seeing you guys again. Seriously. It turns out I'm a little short on test subjects right now. So this works out PERFECT.
Listens:
413
Who:
Wheatley
We've had some times, haven't we? Like that time I jumped off my management rail, not sure if I'd die or not when I did, and all you had to do was catch me? Annnd you didn't. Did you? Ohhhh. You remember that? I remember that. I remember that all the time.
Listens:
858
Who:
Wheatley
Space.
Listens:
1179
Who:
Core 1
Excuse me, you’re squishing me.
Listens:
3459
Who:
Turret
It's perfect. Except for all the glass hitting us when I smash through the lift, that's a bit of a problem.
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
For your testing convenience, all tests are available and all safety precautions within testing chambers have been deactivated.
Listens:
1135
Who:
Announcer
The first commercial airline flight took to the air in 1914. Everyone involved screamed the entire way.
Listens:
946
Who:
Core 3
I'm fully connected. I can see everything.
Listens:
540
Who:
GLaDOS
You're okay! Great! Come on!
Listens:
313
Who:
Wheatley
SOLVE IT! Commanding voice...
Listens:
765
Who:
Wheatley
The irony is that you were almost at the last test.
Listens:
489
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohp! Where are you going? Nowhere. Not going anywhere. Got you trapped like a little jumpsuited rat.
Listens:
669
Who:
Wheatley
Good work! Now throw the ball over the ledge.
Listens:
559
Who:
GLaDOS
Also: Look at her, you moron. She's not fat.
Listens:
3592
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll tell ya, it's times like this I wish I had a waist so I could wear all my black belts. Yeah, I'm a black belt. In pretty much everything. Karate. Larate. Jiu Jitsu. Kick punching. Belt making. Taekwondo... Bedroom.
Listens:
16987
Who:
Core 2
PART FIVE! BOOBYTRAP THE STALEMATE BUTTON!
Listens:
6672
Who:
Wheatley
I don't want to scare you, but, I'm an Adventure Sphere. Designed for danger. So, why don't you go ahead and have yourself a little lady break, and I'll just take it from here.
Listens:
1477
Who:
Core 2
Good. You have a dual portal device. There should be a way back to the testing area up ahead.
Listens:
474
Who:
GLaDOS
Have you got any ideas?
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
Well, it was nice catching up. Let's get to business.
Listens:
717
Who:
GLaDOS
Bam! Bam bam bam! Take that, space.
Listens:
4133
Who:
Core 1
Pfff. I guess.
Listens:
510
Who:
Core 2
Whoa! Hey! Don't fall!
Listens:
297
Who:
Wheatley
Again, though, for the moment: RUN!
Listens:
403
Who:
Wheatley
Wheeeeeeee!
Listens:
3479
Who:
Turret
I agree, Orange. That was entertaining.
Listens:
283
Who:
GLaDOS
Come on, stop muckin' around! Plug me in!
Listens:
286
Who:
Wheatley
I don't even know what I just said! But I can find out!
Listens:
427
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah yeah yeah okay okay.
Listens:
3969
Who:
Core 1
Don't like space. Don't like space.
Listens:
3852
Who:
Core 1
He's not just a regular moron. He's the product of the greatest minds of a generation working together with the express purpose of building the dumbest moron who ever lived. And you just put him in charge of the entire facility.
Listens:
29471
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done! The Enrichment Center reminds you that although circumstances may appear bleak, you are not alone. All Aperture Science personality constructs will remain functional in apocalyptic, low power environments of as few as 1.1 volts.
Listens:
2232
Who:
Announcer
After that...who knows? I might take up a hobby. Reanimating the dead, maybe.
Listens:
841
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. Now please return to your bed.
Listens:
1631
Who:
Announcer
Hi there!
Listens:
2124
Who:
Defective Turret
Hello?
Listens:
1139
Who:
Turret
Oh oh oh oh. Wait wait. Wait I know. I know. I know wait. Space.
Listens:
1330
Who:
Core 1
Each portal gun may create two self-contained portals.
Listens:
384
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh. I see. [chuckle]
Listens:
674
Who:
Wheatley
That's funny, I don't feel corrupt. In fact, I feel pretty good.
Listens:
1767
Who:
GLaDOS
The photos weren't as popular as we had hoped, so we repurposed the cameras.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello! This is the part where I kill you.
Listens:
108592
Who:
Wheatley
Reactor Explosion Uncertainty Emergency Preemption Protocol initiated: This facility will self destruct in two minutes.
Listens:
8132
Who:
Announcer
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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