Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
According to Norse legend, thunder god Thor's chariot was pulled across the sky by two goats.
Listens:
775
Who:
Core 3
Please put me down
Listens:
1286
Who:
Turret
Butterfingers.
Listens:
3875
Who:
Wheatley
Ah. That just cleans right off, does it? Well, that would have been good to know. A little earlier.
Listens:
474
Who:
Wheatley
You should now feel mentally reinvigorated. If you suspect staring at art has not provided the required intellectual sustenance, reflect briefly on this classical music. [MUSIC INTERRUPTED BY BUZZER]
Listens:
5564
Who:
Announcer
Oh. Sorry. Could have... sworn you said something.
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
Allright, test's over. You can head on back to your desk.
Listens:
1180
Who:
Cave Johnson
Your vitals remain well within testing norms, so there is no need to worry about sudden death from collaborative shock syndrome.
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
Blah.
Listens:
1030
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m scared!
Listens:
868
Who:
Turret
Orange, to be clear. I was just asking Blue if he trusted you.
Listens:
271
Who:
GLaDOS
That's not funny.
Listens:
1732
Who:
GLaDOS
It emphasizes teamwork.
Listens:
261
Who:
GLaDOS
No, no, I'm sure it's this way. I'm definitely sure it's this way.
Listens:
258
Who:
Wheatley
That's right. The facility is completely operational again.
Listens:
2418
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, that should do it.
Listens:
272
Who:
Wheatley
Every test chamber is equipped with an emancipation grill at its exit, so that test subjects can't smuggle test objects out of the test area. This one is broken.
Listens:
367
Who:
GLaDOS
So that's a complete reassembly. New vitals. Spit-shine on the old ones. Plus we're scooping out tumors. Frankly, you oughtta be paying us.
Listens:
1664
Who:
Cave Johnson
Would you mind putting your back towards me? So I can see only your back. And not your face.
Listens:
257
Who:
Wheatley
Electrocution, shot, drowned, crushed, burned in goo.
Listens:
1208
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah.
Listens:
346
Who:
Defective Turret
Turn around. I'll only be a second. If you don't mind.
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
This is not good.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on. Run back the other way! I'll turn the bridges back on!
Listens:
273
Who:
Wheatley
Go on. Just... March on through that hole.
Listens:
262
Who:
Wheatley
Humans can survive underwater. But not for very long.
Listens:
1145
Who:
Core 3
Am I interrupting your important conversation?
Listens:
461
Who:
GLaDOS
Pff. Whatever.
Listens:
521
Who:
Core 2
You really don't need to keep failing.
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
They're not even your screens to break. It's vandalism. It's pure vandalism. You wouldn't do this if this was your house, would you? If I came around to your house smashin' your telly to bits, you'd be furious. And rightly so. Unbelievable.
Listens:
837
Who:
Wheatley
You are making this harder than it needs to be.
Listens:
264
Who:
GLaDOS
Reactor Explosion Timer destroyed.
Listens:
3586
Who:
Announcer
Ay. Double Pee-Ell-Ee.
Listens:
432
Who:
Wheatley
I'm pretty sure we're going the right way. Just to reassure you...
Listens:
258
Who:
Wheatley
Agh!
Listens:
283
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, my facility.
Listens:
409
Who:
GLaDOS
HURRY! THIS WAY!
Listens:
326
Who:
Wheatley
It DOES sound rude. I'm not going to lie to you. It DOES sound rude. It's not. Put me right on it. Stick me in.
Listens:
775
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, in case you got covered in that repulsion gel, here's some advice the lab boys gave me: DO NOT get covered in the repulsion gel.
Listens:
2226
Who:
Cave Johnson
'Skeletons.' Right, I guess I DID stockpile some tests.
Listens:
910
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, hello, stranger!
Listens:
3759
Who:
Defective Turret
Dang! All right, if anyone asks, I killed you.
Listens:
1181
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh wait! I've got it I've got it I've got it! No, I haven't got it.
Listens:
260
Who:
Wheatley
I'm different...
Listens:
67616
Who:
Turret
Goodbye, sir.
Listens:
3769
Who:
GLaDOS
I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
486
Who:
Wheatley
Let's go in!
Listens:
260
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
512
Who:
Defective Turret
Then, then, when I reluctantly assume the responsibility of running the place, you conveniently decide to run off together. Just when I need you most.
Listens:
366
Who:
Wheatley
*I* have to go to the wing that was made entirely of glass and pick up fifteen acres of broken glass. By myself.
Listens:
1583
Who:
GLaDOS
Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Space!
Listens:
1596
Who:
Core 1
So much space. Need to see it all.
Listens:
1875
Who:
Core 1
This is the neurotoxin generator. Bit bigger than I expected. Not going to be able to just, you know, push it over. Have to apply some cleverness.
Listens:
628
Who:
Wheatley
I'm sorry, I don't know why that went off. Anyway, just an interesting science fact.
Listens:
1083
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay! Don't move!
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
Awwww, come on.
Listens:
1041
Who:
Defective Turret
I created this test to let the humans feel good about themselves. It is extremely easy. Just follow the arrows.
Listens:
395
Who:
GLaDOS
QUICK: WHAT'S THE SITUATION? Oh, hello angel. I guess I must have died and gone to heaven. Name's Rick. So, you out having yourself a little adventure?
Listens:
3708
Who:
Core 2
Remember when I first told you how to find that little portal thing you love so much? Thought you'd die on the way, if I'm honest. All the others did.
Listens:
573
Who:
Wheatley
Horrible people skills.
Listens:
921
Who:
GLaDOS
'Hang ten?' That might work if there were ten of him. Do you think there might be nine more of this guy somewhere?
Listens:
621
Who:
Core 2
Huh. That was easy.
Listens:
288
Who:
Wheatley
What are you doing? Put me back this instant.
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
Again, though, for the moment: RUN!
Listens:
389
Who:
Wheatley
You know what, this plan is so good, I'm going to give you a sporting chance and turn off the neurotoxin. I'm joking. Of course. Goodbye.
Listens:
1471
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! But I did find something. Reminds me: I've got a big surprise for you two. Seriously. Look forward to it.
Listens:
329
Who:
Wheatley
Turret redemption lines are not rides, please exit the turret redemption line.
Listens:
1112
Who:
Announcer
So. Welcome to Aperture. You're here because we want the best, and you're it. Nope. Couldn't keep a straight face.
Listens:
3165
Who:
Cave Johnson
No, that's right. Over by the podium, yeah.
Listens:
267
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I'll take that as a no, then. Fine. Well. May the best man win. Sphere. May the best sphere win. Swap that in. Much more clever. Books.
Listens:
792
Who:
Wheatley
Pop a portal. Behind me, on the wall. Come on through.
Listens:
260
Who:
Wheatley
[gentle laughter] It's been fun. Don't come back.
Listens:
7140
Who:
GLaDOS
In case you were wondering, you do not need to be crushed to solve this test.
Listens:
272
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, good. My slow clap processor made it into this thing. So we have that.
Listens:
53291
Who:
GLaDOS
Just turn around.
Listens:
262
Who:
Wheatley
HA! I knew someone was alive in here.
Listens:
327
Who:
Wheatley
But the real point is - oh, oh! You know what I've just remembered? Football! Kicking a ball around for fun. Cruel, obviously. Humans love it. Metaphor. Should have seen this coming.
Listens:
2099
Who:
Wheatley
Ah, I see. Clever. Verrrrrrry clever.
Listens:
2865
Who:
Wheatley
All right. You create a distraction then, and I'll distract him from YOUR distraction.
Listens:
400
Who:
Core 2
Has episodes. I'd like to know more about that.
Listens:
374
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah!
Listens:
1607
Who:
Core 1
This is Tic-Tac-Toe-Two.
Listens:
773
Who:
GLaDOS
Here I go!
Listens:
290
Who:
Wheatley
Powerup complete.
Listens:
3461
Who:
Announcer
He's taking us right TO him! This is PERFECT.
Listens:
321
Who:
GLaDOS
Fine, 500 point penalty for Blue.
Listens:
647
Who:
GLaDOS
The portal will open and emergency testing will begin in three. Two. One.
Listens:
1941
Who:
Announcer
Oh, hang on. What if we gave it something ELSE to scan?
Listens:
260
Who:
Wheatley
It's the lift just there. The thing that looks like a lift. That's what you're looking for. It is confusing, I know.
Listens:
260
Who:
Wheatley
Be honest. You can't even tell, can you? Seamless.
Listens:
272
Who:
Wheatley
[laughs]
Listens:
2399
Who:
Wheatley
No!
Listens:
454
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Oi oi! I'm up here!
Listens:
403
Who:
Wheatley
Ayeyeyeyeye
Listens:
3675
Who:
Turret
Say, you're good at murder. Could you - ow - murder this bird for me?
Listens:
4264
Who:
GLaDOS
Hurry! This way!
Listens:
267
Who:
Wheatley
Like the potato!
Listens:
182024
Who:
Defective Turret
I have noticed you two have become extremely close. I'm not sure I like that.
Listens:
271
Who:
GLaDOS
ow.
Listens:
479
Who:
GLaDOS
Can't read.
Listens:
288
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
