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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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No!
Listens:
677
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.
Listens:
957
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, this is just PERFECT!
Listens:
1377
Who:
Defective Turret
Hello? Can you--can you pick me up, please?
Listens:
1506
Who:
Wheatley
It's perfect. Except for all the glass hitting us when I smash through the lift, that's a bit of a problem.
Listens:
306
Who:
Wheatley
This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
Listens:
539
Who:
GLaDOS
Please ping a white portalable surface.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
Martyr.
Listens:
381
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't know what you think you are doing, but I don't like it. I want you to stop.
Listens:
873
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember when I first told you how to find that little portal thing you love so much? Thought you'd die on the way, if I'm honest. All the others did.
Listens:
667
Who:
Wheatley
You know what? I think we're well past the point of tasteful restraint. So I'll tell you: they all died. Horrifically. Trying to get that portal device that you're gripping in your meaty little fingers there.
Listens:
725
Who:
Wheatley
I'll bet you're both dying to know what your big surprise is. Only TWO more chambers!
Listens:
493
Who:
Wheatley
Riggght now.
Listens:
329
Who:
Wheatley
BAM! Secret panel! That I opened. While your back was turned.
Listens:
481
Who:
Wheatley
On three. Ready? One... Two...
Listens:
395
Who:
Wheatley
Great work! Because this message is prerecorded, any observations related to your performance are speculation on our part. Please disregard any undeserved compliments.
Listens:
3046
Who:
Announcer
You’ve made your point.
Listens:
830
Who:
Turret
If your confidence is still not high enough remember no one was created perfect.
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
I have a surprise waiting for you after this next test. Telling you would spoil the surprise, so I'll just give you a hint: It involves meeting two people you haven't seen in a long time.
Listens:
890
Who:
GLaDOS
(excited gasps)
Listens:
1629
Who:
Core 1
five
Listens:
566
Who:
GLaDOS
Gotcha!
Listens:
2293
Who:
Turret
Alright. So that last test was... seriously disappointing. Apparently being civil isn't motivating you. So let's try things her way... fatty. Adopted fatty. Fatty fatty no-parents.
Listens:
7411
Who:
Wheatley
Hi again!
Listens:
942
Who:
Defective Turret
Perfect. Now All YOU have to do is capture them for me. Then everything will finally be ba--
Listens:
823
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha! Was that your bullet-riddled body, flying out of the room? It was- aww, those were the crap turrets, weren't they? Yeah...
Listens:
2155
Who:
Wheatley
Yes. Please. Space.
Listens:
1063
Who:
Core 1
clickclickclick
Listens:
1408
Who:
Defective Turret
Apples. Oranges. Pears. Plums. Kumquats. Tangerines. Lemons. Limes. Avocado. Tomato. Banana. Papaya. Guava.
Listens:
6591
Who:
Core 3
Congratulations on completing the test. You two really are the best cooperative testing team I could ever ask for.
Listens:
361
Who:
GLaDOS
The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects.
Listens:
542
Who:
Wheatley
I'm guessing this wasn't one of the scientist's children. I don't want to be snobby, but let's be honest: It's got manual laborer written all over it. I'm not saying they're not as good as the professionals. They're just a lot dumber.
Listens:
646
Who:
Wheatley
You have excellent aim!
Listens:
734
Who:
Turret
ORANGE, please observe your partner's favorite animal.
Listens:
513
Who:
GLaDOS
Here we are. The Incinerator Room. Be careful not to trip over any parts of me that didn't get completely burned when you threw them down here.
Listens:
879
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes Orange, we are alone. Blue can't hear you.
Listens:
329
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhhhhh, that's tremendous.
Listens:
570
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on, hold on, hold on... Almost there...
Listens:
385
Who:
Wheatley
So. How are you holding up?
Listens:
2491
Who:
GLaDOS
I found some bird eggs up here. Just dropped 'em into the door mechanism. Shut it right down. I--AGH!
Listens:
1145
Who:
Wheatley
Don't mind me. Just moving the test chamber a little closer to me. Had a thought: Maybe proximity to the test solving might give us stronger results.
Listens:
296
Who:
Wheatley
Quick question: Have you been working out? Because there's no evidence of it. I'm not a plastic cup. We will be landing with some force. So a bit of grip. Just using grip. Classic grip.
Listens:
321
Who:
Wheatley
I'll bet there isn't even a problem with the facility, is there? I'll bet there's no such thing as a 'reactor core'. I'll bet that's not even fire coming out of the walls, is it? It's just cleverly placed lights and papier mache, I'll bet that's all it is.
Listens:
2210
Who:
Wheatley
Target acquired.
Listens:
9813
Who:
Turret
Look, an eclipse! No. Don't look.
Listens:
1575
Who:
Core 1
I'm going to be honest with you now. Not fake honest like before, but real honest, like you're incapable of. I know you're up to something.
Listens:
509
Who:
GLaDOS
Look!
Listens:
458
Who:
GLaDOS
You only failed
Listens:
628
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, deleting Caroline just now taught me a valuable lesson. The best solution to a problem is usually the easiest one. And I'll be honest.
Listens:
1662
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, no matter. Because I'm STILL holding all the cards, and guess what: they're allll Full Houses! I've never played cards. Meaning to learn.
Listens:
2118
Who:
Wheatley
Orange just taught blue a valuable lesson in trust. For that, orange receives 17 science collaboration points.
Listens:
530
Who:
GLaDOS
Yay, Blue is back. Testing can continue.
Listens:
736
Who:
GLaDOS
Prometheus was punished by the gods for giving the gift of knowledge to man. He was cast into the bowels of the earth and pecked by birds.
Listens:
44736
Who:
Turret
The escape lift. Just there. Come on.
Listens:
377
Who:
Wheatley
To complete this test, you need to find a set of blue prints.
Listens:
291
Who:
GLaDOS
'Hygiene.' Huh. That's all it says.
Listens:
450
Who:
GLaDOS
You don't have to test with the garbage. It's garbage.
Listens:
588
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, what?
Listens:
451
Who:
Defective Turret
Maybe I shouldn't send you outside of the official testing courses, you are picking up some bad human traits.
Listens:
451
Who:
GLaDOS
Something’s wrong...
Listens:
931
Who:
Turret
I've been really busy being dead. You know, after you MURDERED ME.
Listens:
8017
Who:
GLaDOS
Not entirely, not entirely. Look at the word 'test', on the wall there. That's brand new.
Listens:
399
Who:
Wheatley
Orange is first to acquire a Portal Device.
Listens:
641
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhh...
Listens:
680
Who:
Wheatley
Yeghh!
Listens:
631
Who:
Wheatley
Blue just taught orange a valuable lesson in trust. For that, blue receives 14 science collaboration points.
Listens:
424
Who:
GLaDOS
Reactor Explosion Uncertainty Emergency Preemption Protocol initiated: This facility will self destruct in two minutes.
Listens:
8465
Who:
Announcer
During the Great Depression, the Tennessee Valley Authority outlawed pet rabbits, forcing many to hot glue-gun long ears onto their pet mice.
Listens:
1510
Who:
Core 3
Ohhhhhh, yes she is.
Listens:
427
Who:
Wheatley
Hello again, this testing course was originally created for humans.
Listens:
1306
Who:
GLaDOS
A bloody bird! Right? Couldn't believe it either. And then the bird--
Listens:
1216
Who:
Wheatley
Goodbye
Listens:
8705
Who:
Turret
Nice catch, Orange.
Listens:
990
Who:
GLaDOS
Almost there...
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
Wanna go to earth wanna go to earth wanna go to earth wanna go to earth. Wanna go to earth.
Listens:
2612
Who:
Core 1
Locked and loaded!
Listens:
569
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, can't win 'em all...
Listens:
532
Who:
Defective Turret
In order to escape, we're going to have to go through HER chamber.
Listens:
335
Who:
Wheatley
All cooperative testing courses begin at this central hub.
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
Where am I? Guess. Guess guess guess. I'm in space.
Listens:
3021
Who:
Core 1
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
1796
Who:
GLaDOS
Neurotoxin level at capacity in five minutes.
Listens:
4592
Who:
Announcer
I'll wait--I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead.
Listens:
832
Who:
Wheatley
Back, and deadlier than ever!
Listens:
806
Who:
Defective Turret
Reactions?
Listens:
605
Who:
GLaDOS
Just say 'Apple'. Classic. Very simple.
Listens:
856
Who:
Wheatley
Facial grimacing.
Listens:
307
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, wait, let me light this path for you.
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
I honestly, TRULY didn't think you'd fall for that.
Listens:
1856
Who:
GLaDOS
Can't breathe...
Listens:
898
Who:
Turret
Explosion imminent. Evacuate the facility immediately.
Listens:
29235
Who:
Announcer
Alright, then. Let us see... 'Vital maintenance protocols.' Wow, there are a lot of them. Should have looked into this earlier. Well, let's try this: [reading while typing] DO THEM. [failure buzzer]. Fair enough. Maybe it's a password.
Listens:
2571
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I gave it everything I could. Can't ask for more than that.
Listens:
567
Who:
Defective Turret
You just beat this test. Literally twenty seconds ago.
Listens:
718
Who:
Wheatley
Hey.
Listens:
686
Who:
Core 1
Come on, you've already solved it once. Less than a minute ago you solved this puzzle. Do it again, please.
Listens:
895
Who:
Wheatley
'Yes, sir, Mister Johnson...'
Listens:
1915
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyway, don't smudge up the glass down there. In fact, why don't you just go ahead and not touch anything unless it's test related.
Listens:
1076
Who:
Cave Johnson
Nooooo. No, I don't think it is. I think you're wrong.
Listens:
2158
Who:
Wheatley
Hello?
Listens:
10581
Who:
Turret
00:00 / 00:00
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