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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Sorry! Sorry. My fault.
Listens:
355
Who:
Wheatley
We made it we made it we made it we made it...
Listens:
241
Who:
Wheatley
Lady.
Listens:
584
Who:
Core 1
Allright. Preparing to interface with the neurotoxin central control circuit. Begin: 'Ello, guv! Neurotoxin inspectah! Need to shut this place down for a moment! Here's my credentials. Shut yourself down. I am totally legit. From the board of international neurotoxin... um... observers. From the United... Arab Emirates. Hello.
Listens:
3545
Who:
Wheatley
You did it!
Listens:
384
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test is very dangerous. To help you remain tranquil in the face of almost certain death, smooth jazz will be deployed in three. Two. One. [SMOOTH JAZZ]
Listens:
76891
Who:
Announcer
This on? [thump thump] Hey. Listen up down there. That thing's called an elevator. Not a bathroom.
Listens:
1937
Who:
Cave Johnson
And check this out! I'm a bloody genius now!
Listens:
591
Who:
Wheatley
There we go. Lift called.
Listens:
247
Who:
Wheatley
Good news: that is NOT a docking station. So there's one mystery solved. I'm going to attempt a manual override on this wall. Could get a bit technical! Hold on!
Listens:
1094
Who:
Wheatley
I’m shocked you’d say that, Blue. If you killed your partner the test—I’m sorry. Wrong feed. Carry on, Orange. Good work.
Listens:
1164
Who:
GLaDOS
Why should I be kept informed about the life functions of the ten thousand bloody test subjects I'm supposed to be in charge of?
Listens:
367
Who:
Wheatley
No. No. That was the solution. Rrrg! What am I missing?
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, that felt really good.
Listens:
1317
Who:
Wheatley
Just... have a look through the old window.
Listens:
239
Who:
Wheatley
I lied.
Listens:
717
Who:
GLaDOS
They say the old caretaker of this place went absolutely crazy. Chopped up his entire staff. Of robots. All of them robots. They say at night you can still hear the screams. Of their replicas. All of them functionally indistinguishable from the originals. No memory of the incident. Nobody knows what they’re screaming about. Absolutely terrifying. Though obviously not paranormal in any meaningful way.
Listens:
17426
Who:
Wheatley
Powerup initiated.
Listens:
4066
Who:
Announcer
Reactions?
Listens:
545
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah! Ha ha ha!
Listens:
336
Who:
Defective Turret
Orange, is there something you would like to say?
Listens:
245
Who:
GLaDOS
Was. Was self-destructing. Already fixed.
Listens:
546
Who:
Wheatley
I can't move. And unless you're planning to saw your own head off and wedge it into my old body, you're going to need me to replace him. We're at an impasse.
Listens:
725
Who:
GLaDOS
There's no turret in it... Maybe the system stores a backup image?
Listens:
241
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. I guess emotional outbursts require more than one point six volts. Now we know that. We just need to relax. We're still going to find out what the hell's going on here. But calmly.
Listens:
1289
Who:
GLaDOS
Corrupted Core: are you ready to start?
Listens:
2456
Who:
Announcer
Oh! Yes. Well done.
Listens:
893
Who:
Wheatley
Space space wanna go to space yes please space. Space space. Go to space.
Listens:
17425
Who:
Core 1
[disinterested] Ohhh, you solved it. Oh. Good. Good one... Good for you...
Listens:
518
Who:
Wheatley
Well, no matter. Because I'm STILL holding all the cards, and guess what: they're allll Full Houses! I've never played cards. Meaning to learn.
Listens:
1884
Who:
Wheatley
How about a knife, then? You keep the gun, I'll use a knife.
Listens:
465
Who:
Core 2
You win.
Listens:
1186
Who:
GLaDOS
Contrary to popular belief, the Eskimo does not have one hundred different words for snow. They do, however, have two hundred and thirty-four words for fudge.
Listens:
1356
Who:
Core 3
Insecure.
Listens:
269
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, that should do it.
Listens:
261
Who:
Wheatley
You'll never believe what happened! There I was, just lying there, you thought I was done for, but --
Listens:
340
Who:
Wheatley
For that Blue is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
878
Who:
GLaDOS
To your left... you'll see some lights of some kind. Don't know what they do. But very sciencey anyway.
Listens:
575
Who:
Wheatley
It seems rather earlier to require reassembly.
Listens:
241
Who:
GLaDOS
Here's another core! This one should do it!
Listens:
247
Who:
GLaDOS
I have to agree. Orange is penalized 75 science collaboration points.
Listens:
293
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, I don't like this any more than you do. In fact, I like it less because I'm the one who got partially eaten by a bird.
Listens:
821
Who:
GLaDOS
Volcano-ologists are experts in the study of volcanoes.
Listens:
517
Who:
Core 3
Blue just taught orange a valuable lesson in trust. For that, blue receives 14 science collaboration points.
Listens:
315
Who:
GLaDOS
Um. 'TRUE'. I'll go 'true'.
Listens:
19092
Who:
Wheatley
We're still doing science sir.
Listens:
1664
Who:
Caroline
Excellent. The Enrichment Center reminds you that bold, persistent experimentation is the hallmark of good science.
Listens:
368
Who:
GLaDOS
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit.
Listens:
490
Who:
Core 3
No! Don't! No! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Listens:
2812
Who:
Wheatley
You know when I mentioned ten minutes? A little bit optimistic!
Listens:
243
Who:
Wheatley
Puppet master! You're a puppet in a play, and I hold all the strings! And cards, still. Cards in one hand, strings in the other. And I'm making you dance like a puppet. Playing cards.
Listens:
2401
Who:
Wheatley
Look out! I'm right behind you! No, of course I'm not. Saw through that too. Forty feet tall, right in front of you. Not my greatest ruse. To be honest. Still a giant robot, though.
Listens:
1123
Who:
Wheatley
Wheeeeee-OHNO!
Listens:
8100
Who:
Turret
Hey! How's it going! I talked my way onto the nanobot work crew rebuilding this shaft. They are REALLY small, so -ah - I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
549
Who:
Wheatley
Pfff. I guess.
Listens:
416
Who:
Core 2
Spinning thing. Hmmm. Not sure.
Listens:
242
Who:
Wheatley
Are you still thinking, or... what's happening?
Listens:
257
Who:
Wheatley
You will know it when you find it.
Listens:
241
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. Still nothing, let's keep moving.
Listens:
243
Who:
Wheatley
Do NOT plug that little idiot into MY mainframe.
Listens:
1722
Who:
GLaDOS
This close and you are going to fail me?
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, hey, how ya doin'?
Listens:
494
Who:
Defective Turret
We did it! I'm in control of the whole facility now!
Listens:
288
Who:
Wheatley
Warning. Reactor core is at critical temperature.
Listens:
17233
Who:
Announcer
Uh oh. You're stranded. Let's see if the cube will try to help you escape. Actually, so that we're not here all day, I'll just cut to the chase: It won't. Any feelings you think it has for you are simply byproducts of your sad, empty life.
Listens:
1479
Who:
GLaDOS
AHHHHHHHHH!
Listens:
1484
Who:
Turret
Also, I took the liberty of watching the tapes of you killing her, and I'm not going to make the same mistakes. Four part plan is this:
Listens:
605
Who:
Wheatley
I’m sorry, Subject Orange.
Listens:
407
Who:
GLaDOS
And that makes 10.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
I am!
Listens:
2812
Who:
Caroline
Second time's a charm...
Listens:
674
Who:
Defective Turret
I know! I know, I wouldn't have believed it either.
Listens:
238
Who:
Wheatley
I can't see a thing. What just happened? Better open fire! [click click click click] Dang!
Listens:
19589
Who:
Defective Turret
Hurry!
Listens:
249
Who:
Wheatley
Tungsten has the highest melting point of any metal, at 3,410 degrees Celsius.
Listens:
609
Who:
Core 3
Yes, I see you, and no, I don't care.
Listens:
4921
Who:
GLaDOS
5000 point penalty! Are you happy now?
Listens:
1578
Who:
GLaDOS
Turn around. I'll only be a second. If you don't mind.
Listens:
260
Who:
Wheatley
With humans, I would have called that a successful test.
Listens:
242
Who:
GLaDOS
See nothing bad happened.
Listens:
556
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Bing! Perfect. On you go.
Listens:
409
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations, you completed the standard section of this course. Before we can go any further, I will need you to complete one more test outside of the standard testing track.
Listens:
264
Who:
GLaDOS
The likelihood of you dying within the next five minutes is eighty-seven point six one percent.
Listens:
1479
Who:
Core 3
Wanna go home wanna go home wanna go home wanna go home.
Listens:
1236
Who:
Core 1
Best of luck, lady!
Listens:
407
Who:
Defective Turret
Go on. Walk up to the window. Take a look out.
Listens:
254
Who:
Wheatley
There are 5000 other two subject teams in direct competition with you.
Listens:
285
Who:
GLaDOS
In the event that it does, this next test involves exposure to cattle tuberculosis. Good luck!
Listens:
634
Who:
GLaDOS
She’s probably okay.
Listens:
651
Who:
Turret
Annnnd we're back!
Listens:
824
Who:
Defective Turret
Just go.
Listens:
3402
Who:
GLaDOS
Hm. Let's try this way.
Listens:
240
Who:
Wheatley
Be a shame to miss it, wouldn't it? Just for the old neurotoxin. Neurotoxin will still be here tomorrow. Whereas that bird will be gone any minute. Already got one talon off the branch. Gonna be gone.
Listens:
528
Who:
Wheatley
Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center. [laughs]
Listens:
4112
Who:
GLaDOS
The hardest part of any hack is the figuring-out-how-to-start phase. That's always tricky. But... Let the games begin.
Listens:
865
Who:
Wheatley
So that's just what I was doing. I was just reading... ah... books. So I'm not a moron.
Listens:
2076
Who:
Wheatley
Always sleeping.
Listens:
485
Who:
GLaDOS
Lactose intolerant.
Listens:
397
Who:
GLaDOS
Annnnnnnnd... Nothing.
Listens:
3139
Who:
Wheatley
BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD
Listens:
100035
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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