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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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five
Listens:
567
Who:
GLaDOS
Just stop it already.
Listens:
529
Who:
GLaDOS
They're not even your screens to break. It's vandalism. It's pure vandalism. You wouldn't do this if this was your house, would you? If I came around to your house smashin' your telly to bits, you'd be furious. And rightly so. Unbelievable.
Listens:
982
Who:
Wheatley
The scientists were always hanging cores on me to regulate my behavior. I've heard voices all my life. But now I hear the voice of a conscience, and it's terrifying, because for the first time it's my voice.
Listens:
1660
Who:
GLaDOS
That was nobody’s fault.
Listens:
769
Who:
Turret
This is trouble.
Listens:
946
Who:
Defective Turret
QUICK: WHAT'S THE SITUATION? Oh, hey, hi pretty lady. My name's Rick. So, you out having a little adventure?
Listens:
7832
Who:
Core 2
Try to jump across.
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
In 1879, Sandford Fleming first proposed the adoption of worldwide standardized time zones at the Royal Canadian Institute.
Listens:
652
Who:
Core 3
As an impartial collaboration facilitator, it would be unfair of me to name my favorite member of your team. However, it’s perfectly fair to hint at it in a way that my least favorite member probably isn't smart enough to understand. Rhymeswithglue. Orange you are doing very well.
Listens:
1042
Who:
GLaDOS
All right. I’m bringing this farce to a close.
Listens:
393
Who:
GLaDOS
It worked!
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
Lactose intolerant.
Listens:
505
Who:
GLaDOS
There. Try it now.
Listens:
522
Who:
GLaDOS
You only failed
Listens:
632
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
595
Who:
Defective Turret
Most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished. I want to congratulate you on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds.
Listens:
1187
Who:
GLaDOS
Fine. Let the games begin.
Listens:
4174
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, remember the time I took over the facility? Greatest moment of my life, but you just wanted to leave. Didn't want to share in my success. Well, so you know, I'd be happy for you if you succeeded. Apart from right now, obviously.
Listens:
1002
Who:
Wheatley
'Lair' - heh, weird isn't it? First time I've said it out loud. Sounds a bit ridiculous, really. But I can assure you it is one. A proper lair. Deadly lair.
Listens:
1047
Who:
Wheatley
Go! Go go go!
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
Hey, thanks so much!
Listens:
768
Who:
Defective Turret
I am not sure how I can make these tests any easier for you.
Listens:
298
Who:
GLaDOS
Look down. Who's that, down there, talking? It's me! Down on the floor. Needing you to pick me up.
Listens:
463
Who:
Wheatley
For many of you, I realize 60 dollars is an unprecedented windfall, so don't go spending it all on... I don't know. Caroline, what do these people buy? Tattered hats? Beard dirt?
Listens:
2214
Who:
Cave Johnson
Wowwwww! Check me out, partner!
Listens:
821
Who:
Wheatley
She's the backbone of this facility. Pretty as a postcard, too. Sorry, fellas. She's married. To science.
Listens:
1802
Who:
Cave Johnson
Here's an interesting story. I almost got a job down here in Manufacturing. Guess who the foreman went with? Only an exact duplicate of himself. Nepotism. Ended up giving me the WORST possible job: tending to all the smelly humans. The umm... Sorry about that. That just slipped out.
Listens:
1265
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is not defective. Its facts are wholly accurate and very interesting.
Listens:
2584
Who:
Core 3
Always cold.
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey hey hey hey hey!
Listens:
1255
Who:
Core 1
Alright, stand back, everybody.
Listens:
436
Who:
Defective Turret
Now it's broken turret's time to shine!
Listens:
3647
Who:
Defective Turret
Go on. Get in.
Listens:
338
Who:
Wheatley
Self test error
Listens:
1478
Who:
Turret
Well done. In fact, you did so well, I'm going to note this on your file, in the commendations section. Oh, there's lots of room here. 'Did.... well. ... Enough.'
Listens:
5066
Who:
GLaDOS
You've probably figured it out by now, but I don't need you anymore.
Listens:
323
Who:
Wheatley
Are you going to open the door? At any time?
Listens:
560
Who:
Wheatley
So twisty you might even call it spinning. MOO HOO HA HA HA Ignore the laughter. Nothing to worry about.
Listens:
1302
Who:
Wheatley
I hardly think you're even trying with these gestures anymore.
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
Space. Space.
Listens:
1772
Who:
Core 1
Wait. Just thought of something? How am I going to get in? You know, being bloody massive and everything.
Listens:
323
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah!
Listens:
5514
Who:
GLaDOS
Uhoh
Listens:
975
Who:
Turret
Jump! Actually, looking at it, that is quite a distance, isn't it?
Listens:
326
Who:
Wheatley
In order to escape, we're going to have to go through HER chamber.
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
But don't be alarmed, alright? Because ah... well, actually, if you DO feel alarmed, hold onto that. Because the feeling of alarm is the proper reaction to being told you've got massive brain damage. So if you are alarmed, then it suggests the damage is not as serious as we thought. Although it probably is really serious.
Listens:
915
Who:
Wheatley
Gotta go to space.
Listens:
907
Who:
Core 1
Right. Let's figure out how to stop this turret line...
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
Space. Space. Gonna go to space.
Listens:
1065
Who:
Core 1
clickclickclick
Listens:
476
Who:
Defective Turret
Pfff. I guess.
Listens:
561
Who:
Core 2
Every time you fail, it's a reminder of the way things used to be. But then there you are. Again. Like nothing happened.
Listens:
487
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't even know what I just said! But I can find out!
Listens:
456
Who:
Wheatley
Nobody cares, four eyes.
Listens:
1243
Who:
Core 2
Do not do it!
Listens:
421
Who:
Wheatley
You have to get to the catwalk behind me!
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
What are you doing no no no no no!
Listens:
1109
Who:
Defective Turret
*cough cough* Pressthebutton.
Listens:
7638
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, don't sink to Orange's level.
Listens:
326
Who:
GLaDOS
You have no idea how tiring it is to praise someone for placing an edgeless safety cube into a receptacle designed to exactly fit an edgeless safety cube.
Listens:
642
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't press that button. You don't know what you're doing.
Listens:
1791
Who:
GLaDOS
[to self] Hm. Could be Spanish, could be Spanish. [loud again] Hola, amigo! Abre la puerta! Donde esta--no. Um...
Listens:
2631
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, fine. I'm not saying another word until you do it properly. I'm sick of this.
Listens:
603
Who:
Wheatley
Allright. Preparing to interface with the neurotoxin central control circuit. Begin: 'Ello, guv! Neurotoxin inspectah! Need to shut this place down for a moment! Here's my credentials. Shut yourself down. I am totally legit. From the board of international neurotoxin... um... observers. From the United... Arab Emirates. Hello.
Listens:
3906
Who:
Wheatley
Completing this course was not a reason to behave like that.
Listens:
347
Who:
GLaDOS
Your failing does not make this science.
Listens:
432
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't plug him in.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
I would say extremely deadly but we all know, for you and your amazing ability to be reassembled nothing is deadly.
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
*cough* Press the button, would you?
Listens:
1172
Who:
Wheatley
Hello?
Listens:
1366
Who:
Turret
Sorry, what's going on over there? You know, I'm actually over here, still thinking really hard!
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
595
Who:
Defective Turret
You know what I hope's in space? Fire. I hope you go to space and catch on fire.
Listens:
5507
Who:
Core 2
Not entirely, not entirely. Look at the word 'test', on the wall there. That's brand new.
Listens:
405
Who:
Wheatley
Orange, how well do you really know Blue? Do you trust Blue?
Listens:
326
Who:
GLaDOS
Space. Trial. Puttin' the system on trial. In space. Space system. On trial. Guilty. Of being in space! Going to space jail!
Listens:
35799
Who:
Core 1
Anxious.
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I'm gonna lay my cards on the table: I don't wanna do it. I don't want to go in there. Don't... Don't go in there - She's off. She's off! Panic over! She's off. All fine! On we go.
Listens:
608
Who:
Wheatley
Touche, young lady, touche.
Listens:
1275
Who:
Defective Turret
You never considered that maybe I tested you to give the endless hours of your pointless existence some structure and meaning. Maybe to help you concentrate, so just maybe you’d think of something more worthwhile to do with your sorry life.
Listens:
2593
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. You MIGHT want to hang onto to something. Word of advice, up to you.
Listens:
333
Who:
Wheatley
Space...
Listens:
1301
Who:
Core 1
There's a thousand tests performed every day here in our enrichment spheres. I can't personally oversee every one of them, so these pre-recorded messages'll cover any questions you might have, and respond to any incidents that may occur in the course of your science adventure.
Listens:
1293
Who:
Cave Johnson
You're angry. I know it. 'She’s tested me too hard.' Boo hoo. I don't suppose you ever stopped whining long enough to reflect on your own shortcomings, though, did you?
Listens:
5480
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe you ARE getting human emotions.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork, and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other's performance so far.
Listens:
1171
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, did you bring your little portal gun? Nothing to portal onto here, luv. Just ten pounds of dead weight. About to be two hundred and ten. Fatty.
Listens:
7011
Who:
Wheatley
Moody.
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
Hi there!
Listens:
509
Who:
Defective Turret
I love space.
Listens:
1046
Who:
Core 1
Leave me in! Leave me in! Go press it!
Listens:
445
Who:
Wheatley
To facilitate collaboration, both of you have been equipped with a ping tool.
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
You're just delaying the inevitable. You cannot run from my bombs forever. Well, you can if I keep aiming them poorly. But I'll get better as we go, and you'll just get tired.
Listens:
909
Who:
Wheatley
The point is: If we can store music on a compact disc, why can't we store a man's intelligence and personality on one? So I have the engineers figuring that out now.
Listens:
2073
Who:
Cave Johnson
Hello?
Listens:
1285
Who:
Wheatley
Histrionic.
Listens:
298
Who:
GLaDOS
[clap clap]
Listens:
22001
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, just open the door! [to self] That's too aggressive. [loud again] Hello, friend! Why not open the door?
Listens:
3991
Who:
Wheatley
Hello.
Listens:
4299
Who:
Turret
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