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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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I was confident you could finish.
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
Solve his puzzle for him. When he comes back, I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
480
Who:
GLaDOS
It's the lift just there. The thing that looks like a lift. That's what you're looking for. It is confusing, I know.
Listens:
315
Who:
Wheatley
Orange, your plan is working perfectly.
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
The Enrichment Center respects your right to have questions or concerns about this policy.
Listens:
356
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Hey! Up here!
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, stand back, everybody.
Listens:
436
Who:
Defective Turret
Please put me down
Listens:
1426
Who:
Turret
Yes sir, Mr. Johnson
Listens:
9523
Who:
Caroline
Yes! Come on!
Listens:
861
Who:
GLaDOS
These things happen.
Listens:
3496
Who:
Turret
No A.I. can resist thinking about them.
Listens:
381
Who:
GLaDOS
No, seriously. Do come back. Come back, please.
Listens:
1243
Who:
Wheatley
It's... It's moving up.
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
Thanks to you, I know where to find them, I removed their security and powered up their - uh - rescue door.
Listens:
532
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, wait, let me light this path for you.
Listens:
308
Who:
Wheatley
Good work! Now throw the ball over the ledge.
Listens:
575
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Right, the escape lift! I'll call it now.
Listens:
333
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. Still nothing, let's keep moving.
Listens:
350
Who:
Wheatley
Plug me in, we're running out of time.
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
There we go. I wanted to talk to you for a moment, if I may.
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
You will never go into space.
Listens:
1072
Who:
Core 3
Briefly.
Listens:
781
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue what did you do?
Listens:
382
Who:
GLaDOS
Conversion gel. It's dripping out of that pipe there.
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm telling 'em, keep your pants on.
Listens:
3682
Who:
Cave Johnson
Blue, orange isn't a human. The lesson on trust only needs to be taught once. Blue is penalized 1 science collaboration point.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
Also, are you alive? That's important, should have asked that first.
Listens:
761
Who:
Wheatley
Here's an interesting story. I almost got a job down here in Manufacturing. Guess who the foreman went with? Only an exact duplicate of himself. Nepotism. Ended up giving me the WORST possible job: tending to all the smelly humans. The umm... Sorry about that. That just slipped out.
Listens:
1267
Who:
Wheatley
Your business is appreciated
Listens:
1059
Who:
Turret
I'm fully connected. I can see everything.
Listens:
585
Who:
GLaDOS
I am NOT! A MORON!
Listens:
15761
Who:
Wheatley
Crap!
Listens:
1242
Who:
Defective Turret
Ohhhhh, yes. Ohhhh. Well done.
Listens:
4548
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, brilliant, yeah. Take one last look at your precious human moon. Because it cannot help you now!
Listens:
2632
Who:
Wheatley
You really aren't getting tired of that, are you?
Listens:
1397
Who:
GLaDOS
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
814
Who:
Core 3
[fast gibberish]
Listens:
5864
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't want to drive a wedge between the two of you, but I've been studying Blue's performance, and I don't know how to put this... I'm certain you're trying very hard.
Listens:
1065
Who:
GLaDOS
Go! Go go go!
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
The likelihood of you dying violently within the next five minutes is eighty-seven point six one percent.
Listens:
1473
Who:
Core 3
Those people, in the portrait. They look so familiar...
Listens:
407
Who:
GLaDOS
Either way, I get the impression he's trying to kill us.
Listens:
476
Who:
GLaDOS
Please stop.
Listens:
1247
Who:
Turret
Oh I know! I know I know I know I know I know - let's go to space!
Listens:
1372
Who:
Core 1
I'll tell ya, it's times like this I wish I had a waist so I could wear all my black belts. Yeah, I'm a black belt. In pretty much everything. Karate. Larate. Jiu Jitsu. Kick punching. Belt making. Taekwondo... Bedroom.
Listens:
17113
Who:
Core 2
Preparing to love this... don't want to build it up too much... but I think this one's going to be good, I can tell...
Listens:
472
Who:
Wheatley
This is the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center or SinTech.
Listens:
628
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test may result in your death. If you want to know what that's like, think back to that time you killed me, and substitute yourself for me.
Listens:
740
Who:
GLaDOS
This is Tic-Tac-Toe-Two.
Listens:
906
Who:
GLaDOS
Nice catch, Orange.
Listens:
995
Who:
GLaDOS
Tell ya what, why don't you put me down and I'll make a distraction.
Listens:
476
Who:
Core 2
Well done. In the event that oxygen is no longer available in the Enrichment Center, an auxiliary air supply will be provided to you by an Aperture Science Test Associate, if one exists.
Listens:
695
Who:
GLaDOS
If you have, in fact, not, you are encouraged to take a moment to reflect on your failure before proceeding into the next chamber.
Listens:
437
Who:
GLaDOS
Moves lips while reading.
Listens:
402
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you doing in there?
Listens:
324
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Look. We both said a lot of things that you're going to regret. But I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster.
Listens:
29840
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh oh.
Listens:
492
Who:
Wheatley
Dang!
Listens:
570
Who:
Defective Turret
Excuse me, you’re squishing me.
Listens:
3508
Who:
Turret
You know, in the end, yes, they let me go. It's all politics, to be honest. It's a big popularity contest, it's all about who you know, and whose back you're willing to scratch, who doesn't touch -- or, in my case, who did accidentally touch -- the neurotoxin button.
Listens:
1364
Who:
Wheatley
Uhoh
Listens:
977
Who:
Turret
If you are a non-employee who has discovered this facility amid the ruins of civilization, welcome! And remember: Testing is the future, and the future starts with you.
Listens:
3540
Who:
Announcer
It wasn't anything personal. Just... you know. You DID kill me. Fair's fair.
Listens:
562
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on, I'll stop the elevator. Anything? Take your time...
Listens:
481
Who:
GLaDOS
All right, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons? Don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! 'I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?'
Listens:
126891
Who:
Cave Johnson
You do know I can't wave back right?
Listens:
472
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, so it's not the most watertight plan to go confront an omnipotent power-mad A.I. with.
Listens:
463
Who:
GLaDOS
It is tricky. It is tricky. But just... plug me in, please.
Listens:
316
Who:
Wheatley
This place is self-destructing, you idiot!
Listens:
835
Who:
GLaDOS
First up, conversion gel. [cough]
Listens:
1852
Who:
Cave Johnson
I just hate Blue a little more.
Listens:
431
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, I'm not supposed to do this, but... you can shoot SOMETHING... through the blue bridges.
Listens:
614
Who:
GLaDOS
Wet blanket.
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm sorry, I don't know why that went off. Anyway, just an interesting science fact.
Listens:
1186
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, it's a core you've put on me! Who told you to do that? Was it her? [as if he's looking around] It's just making me stronger, luv! It's a fool's errand!
Listens:
2812
Who:
Wheatley
Jump! Actually, looking at it, that is quite a distance, isn't it?
Listens:
326
Who:
Wheatley
Hello?
Listens:
2984
Who:
Turret
Game over. Back to testing.
Listens:
774
Who:
GLaDOS
Just a heads up: We're gonna have a superconductor turned up full blast and pointed at you for the duration of this next test. I'll be honest, we're throwing science at the wall here to see what sticks. No idea what it'll do. Probably nothing. Best-case scenario, you might get some superpowers. Worst case, some tumors, which we'll cut out.
Listens:
10650
Who:
Cave Johnson
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
993
Who:
Defective Turret
You are making this harder than it needs to be.
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm trouble.
Listens:
383
Who:
Defective Turret
YES YES! IN YOUR FACE! I GOT YO-ah, nope.
Listens:
4371
Who:
Wheatley
Could a MORON PUNCH! YOU! INTO! THIS! PIT? Huh? Could a moron do THAT?
Listens:
5543
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, doubt it.
Listens:
418
Who:
Wheatley
BLUE, please observe your partner's... interesting choice.
Listens:
589
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Plan B. We need humans.
Listens:
726
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, you go first.
Listens:
380
Who:
GLaDOS
Agh, just... I just gotta get it through here...
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, I'm uh... I'm a bad man!
Listens:
956
Who:
Defective Turret
That's the spirit!
Listens:
349
Who:
Wheatley
Just glass. Transparent. Smooth. Not going to hurt you. Have a look.
Listens:
357
Who:
Wheatley
Press it! Press the button!
Listens:
1421
Who:
GLaDOS
It's perfect. Except for all the glass hitting us when I smash through the lift, that's a bit of a problem.
Listens:
308
Who:
Wheatley
Good!
Listens:
10817
Who:
Announcer
Yes Orange, Blue did act like a fool just now.
Listens:
323
Who:
GLaDOS
I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't.
Listens:
495
Who:
GLaDOS
Put me down!
Listens:
985
Who:
Turret
Now it's broken turret's time to shine!
Listens:
3649
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
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