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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Yeah, that's right! Still defective!
Listens:
853
Who:
Defective Turret
For that Blue is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
953
Who:
GLaDOS
The occupation of court jester was invented accidentally, when a vassal's epilepsy was mistaken for capering.
Listens:
638
Who:
Core 3
No, you should plug that little idiot into the mainframe!
Listens:
670
Who:
Wheatley
Goodbye, sir.
Listens:
3831
Who:
GLaDOS
Conversion gel. It's dripping out of that pipe there.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
But now, looking around, seeing Aperture restored to its former glory? You don't have to worry about leaving EVER again. I mean that.
Listens:
425
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
Listens:
771
Who:
Core 3
Electrocution, shot, drowned, crushed, burned in goo.
Listens:
1243
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, look, okay, I'll be honest. You're the LAST test subject left. And if you DON'T help me, we're both going to die. Alright? I didn't want to say it, you dragged it out of me. Alright? Dead. Dos Muerte.
Listens:
545
Who:
Wheatley
Do you know the biggest lesson I learned from what you did? I discovered I have a sort of black-box quick-save feature. In the event of a catastrophic failure, the last two minutes of my life are preserved for analysis.
Listens:
1229
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on, just turn right around. So you're not looking at me.
Listens:
286
Who:
Wheatley
Ignores directions.
Listens:
279
Who:
GLaDOS
HURRY! THIS WAY!
Listens:
323
Who:
Wheatley
Her name is Caroline.
Listens:
4266
Who:
Turret
This is the neurotoxin generator. Bit bigger than I expected. Not going to be able to just, you know, push it over. Have to apply some cleverness.
Listens:
702
Who:
Wheatley
Three: Bomb-proof shields for me. Leading directly into number Four: Bombs. For throwing at you.
Listens:
928
Who:
Wheatley
So what am I, uh, supposed to do here?
Listens:
1153
Who:
Defective Turret
Blah.
Listens:
1461
Who:
GLaDOS
A gallon of water weighs 8.34 pounds
Listens:
665
Who:
Core 3
Ahh!
Listens:
1409
Who:
Turret
And another thing! You never caught me. I told you I could die falling off that rail. And you didn't catch me. You didn't even try. Oh, it's all becoming clear to me now. Find some dupe to break you out of cryosleep. Give him a sob story about escaping to the surface. Squeeze him for information on where to find a portal gun.
Listens:
4225
Who:
Wheatley
Fine. Let the games begin.
Listens:
4073
Who:
Wheatley
Go press the button! Go press it!
Listens:
982
Who:
GLaDOS
Preparing to dispense product
Listens:
2603
Who:
Turret
Ah! Perhaps the turrets have found a way to use garrotes. That would explain the extremely... quiet killing. That I'm hearing.
Listens:
697
Who:
Wheatley
Here it is - the turret factory entrance! We made it.
Listens:
279
Who:
Wheatley
There's a star. There's another one. Star. Star star star. Star.
Listens:
1587
Who:
Core 1
I'm speaking in an accent that is beyond her range of hearing...
Listens:
6861
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, I know you did that, Blue. Don't look so proud.
Listens:
317
Who:
GLaDOS
Um.
Listens:
476
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't want to hassle you. Sure you're busy. But--still here on the floor. Waiting to be picked up.
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
China produces the world's second largest crop of soybeans.
Listens:
553
Who:
Core 3
Those of you who volunteered to be injected with praying mantis DNA, I've got some good news and some bad news.
Listens:
4926
Who:
Cave Johnson
This next test involves turrets. You remember them, right? They're the pale spherical things that are full of bullets. Oh wait. That's you in five seconds. Good luck.
Listens:
1723
Who:
GLaDOS
I found some bird eggs up here. Just dropped 'em into the door mechanism. Shut it right down. I--AGH!
Listens:
1105
Who:
Wheatley
Ha! Was that your bullet-riddled body, flying out of the room? It was- aww, those were the crap turrets, weren't they? Yeah...
Listens:
2053
Who:
Wheatley
First thing I noticed about you: 'Now there's a lady who could resolve any button-based disputes,' I thought. A diamond in the rough, if you will--a a bloody natural. A born dispute resolution advisor in need of a button.
Listens:
529
Who:
Wheatley
Ooh. It's dark down here isn't it?
Listens:
298
Who:
Wheatley
That isn't science.
Listens:
2589
Who:
GLaDOS
Not so fast!
Listens:
578
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Okay. Okay listen: New plan. Act natural act natural. We've done nothing wrong.
Listens:
391
Who:
Wheatley
Oi, it's close... can you see? Am I gonna make it through? Have I got enough space?
Listens:
730
Who:
Wheatley
While I do need you to be in the room so I can see them, I want to be clear. There is no reason whatsoever for you to look at them.
Listens:
276
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm going to be honest with you now. Not fake honest like before, but real honest, like you're incapable of. I know you're up to something.
Listens:
435
Who:
GLaDOS
Nope. Still can't see.
Listens:
743
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't like space. Don't like space.
Listens:
3845
Who:
Core 1
She probably deserved it.
Listens:
842
Who:
Turret
You see that button over there? You just need to ARRRRRGH!
Listens:
601
Who:
Wheatley
Keep it up and your arm will get stuck like that.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
It's probably nothing. Keep testing while I look for a way out.
Listens:
277
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello!
Listens:
943
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I tried.
Listens:
401
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, down these stairs.
Listens:
283
Who:
Wheatley
You're just delaying the inevitable. You cannot run from my bombs forever. Well, you can if I keep aiming them poorly. But I'll get better as we go, and you'll just get tired.
Listens:
860
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. Sorry. Could have... sworn you said something.
Listens:
312
Who:
Wheatley
Agh! You're alive! Great!
Listens:
500
Who:
Wheatley
MOVE.
Listens:
479
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, it will. Believe me, it will.
Listens:
1691
Who:
GLaDOS
Follow me! You're gonna love this.
Listens:
378
Who:
Wheatley
And as soon as I can PROVE it, the laws of robotics allow me to terminate you for being a liar.
Listens:
678
Who:
GLaDOS
Agh! Bird! Bird! Kill it! It's evil!
Listens:
37219
Who:
GLaDOS
Here we go! Now do it again!
Listens:
1957
Who:
Wheatley
Why?
Listens:
1104
Who:
Turret
Oh thank god. You saved my bacon, pal. Where we going? Is this a jailbreak? I can't see a thing.
Listens:
6711
Who:
Defective Turret
I’m on fire ow.
Listens:
5032
Who:
Turret
We're so close! Go press the button!
Listens:
1438
Who:
GLaDOS
On ya go.
Listens:
286
Who:
Wheatley
The two of you have forged an excellent partnership, with one of you handling the cerebral challenges and the other ready to ponderously waddle into action should the test suddenly become an eating contest.
Listens:
933
Who:
GLaDOS
Almost there! Remember: you're looking for a gun that makes holes. Not bullet holes, but-- well, you'll figure it out. Really do hold on this time!
Listens:
673
Who:
Wheatley
So what do you say? You carry me up to him and put me back into my body, and I stop us from blowing up and let you go.
Listens:
486
Who:
GLaDOS
SPACE!
Listens:
21180
Who:
Wheatley
Stay back.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
To maintain a constant testing cycle, I simulate daylight at all hours and add adrenal vapor to your oxygen supply. So you may be confused about the passage of time. The point is, yesterday was your birthday. I thought you'd want to know.
Listens:
3624
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't move. And unless you're planning to saw your own head off and wedge it into my old body, you're going to need me to replace him. We're at an impasse.
Listens:
841
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
458
Who:
Defective Turret
It's perfect. Except for all the glass hitting us when I smash through the lift, that's a bit of a problem.
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
Thank you!
Listens:
4650
Who:
Turret
Oh those clerks.
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
There is a box part here. Probably got some electronics in there.
Listens:
272
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, let's do this.
Listens:
407
Who:
Defective Turret
Also: Look at her, you moron. She's not fat.
Listens:
3557
Who:
GLaDOS
At the rate you are completing these tests, I am beginning to think you don't share my excitement for rescuing crying trapped injured dying humans.
Listens:
399
Who:
GLaDOS
But I need to protect the humans!
Listens:
4297
Who:
Turret
Chews with mouth open.
Listens:
290
Who:
GLaDOS
I thought of some good news. He's going to run out of test chambers eventually. I never stockpiled them.
Listens:
335
Who:
GLaDOS
We will both die because of your negligence.
Listens:
1239
Who:
Core 3
Go on. Get a goooood lonnnnng look.
Listens:
432
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! What can we do with me then. I know! Plug me into the port, please.
Listens:
280
Who:
Wheatley
Space Court. For people in space. Judge space sun presiding. Bam. Guilty. Of being in space. I'm in space.
Listens:
5419
Who:
Core 1
Where am I? Guess. Guess guess guess. I'm in space.
Listens:
2995
Who:
Core 1
Hello?
Listens:
2223
Who:
Turret
Are you alive down there?
Listens:
444
Who:
Wheatley
Luckily, you don't feel pain. At any rate, you don't have a way to communicate that you feel pain.
Listens:
512
Who:
GLaDOS
That eager voice you heard is the lovely Caroline, my assistant. Rest assured, she has transferred your honorarium to the charitable organization of your choice. Isn't that right, Caroline?
Listens:
1240
Who:
Cave Johnson
The square root of rope is string.
Listens:
1598
Who:
Core 3
You only failed
Listens:
611
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello.
Listens:
2871
Who:
Defective Turret
What, are you still alive? You are joking. You have got be kidding me. Well, I'm still in control. AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO FIX THIS PLACE.
Listens:
6209
Who:
Wheatley
At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse.
Listens:
1418
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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