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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Okay. What you're doing there is jumping. You just... you just jumped. But nevermind. Say 'Apple'. 'Aaaapple.'
Listens:
3656
Who:
Wheatley
Hm. Let's try this way.
Listens:
315
Who:
Wheatley
Avoids responsibility.
Listens:
323
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, credit where it's due: for a little idiot built specifically to come up with stupid, unworkable plans, that was a pretty well laid trap.
Listens:
863
Who:
GLaDOS
Do hear that? That's the sound of the neurotoxin emitters emitting neurotoxin.
Listens:
1508
Who:
GLaDOS
All right. I'm officially no longer paying attention to you.
Listens:
315
Who:
GLaDOS
It appears you're developing human traits. The worst human traits.
Listens:
302
Who:
GLaDOS
On the floor. Needing your help. The whole time. All the time. Needing your help.
Listens:
309
Who:
Wheatley
Don't press that button. You don't know what you're doing.
Listens:
1761
Who:
GLaDOS
You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, look up at the ceiling. [BUZZER]
Listens:
3055
Who:
Announcer
I hate you so much.
Listens:
13826
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes.
Listens:
625
Who:
GLaDOS
It wasn't anything personal. Just... you know. You DID kill me. Fair's fair.
Listens:
542
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm being serious, I think there's something really wrong with me.
Listens:
1239
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello? Can y--no?
Listens:
1392
Who:
Wheatley
I heard gunfire! A bit late for this, but look out for gunfire! Probably doesn't help at this point, but I have at least tried.
Listens:
488
Who:
Wheatley
No!
Listens:
512
Who:
Wheatley
Surprise.
Listens:
6140
Who:
GLaDOS
ow.
Listens:
717
Who:
GLaDOS
I see you
Listens:
2926
Who:
Turret
You only failed
Listens:
626
Who:
GLaDOS
Blah.
Listens:
1106
Who:
GLaDOS
He's not just a regular moron. He's the product of the greatest minds of a generation working together with the express purpose of building the dumbest moron who ever lived. And you just put him in charge of the entire facility.
Listens:
29925
Who:
GLaDOS
Here she comes! Just play along! RememberFifteenChambers!
Listens:
353
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
578
Who:
Defective Turret
Ah, I see. Clever. Verrrrrrry clever.
Listens:
2943
Who:
Wheatley
The humans can't free themselves.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
Hi there!
Listens:
2141
Who:
Defective Turret
Haha, Mr. Johnson!
Listens:
2156
Who:
Caroline
There are 5000 other two subject teams in direct competition with you.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey lady. Lady.
Listens:
1055
Who:
Core 1
You are having so much trouble navigating this space; I wish I could say I created this test.
Listens:
557
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh. I see. [chuckle]
Listens:
689
Who:
Wheatley
Thought you'd seen the last of us, didn't ya?
Listens:
715
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
587
Who:
Defective Turret
Can't help but notice you're not coming back. Which is disappointing.
Listens:
686
Who:
Wheatley
You're doing great!
Listens:
451
Who:
Core 2
I thought going back to these old tests would satisfy me. But try as you might to fail this next test, I still won't be satisfied.
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
Nooooooooo...
Listens:
1616
Who:
Defective Turret
I might have pushed that moron thing a little too far this time.
Listens:
1096
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere.
Listens:
832
Who:
Core 3
In case you thought to yourself, 'I've missed the window of time to voice my reservations.' Still open.
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
Oh shut up!
Listens:
1703
Who:
Core 2
Irritable.
Listens:
298
Who:
GLaDOS
Each portal gun may create two self-contained portals.
Listens:
398
Who:
GLaDOS
Really? Alright.
Listens:
391
Who:
Defective Turret
Hello again, this testing course was originally created for humans.
Listens:
1301
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't get over how small you are!
Listens:
418
Who:
Wheatley
Also, I took the liberty of watching the tapes of you killing her, and I'm not going to make the same mistakes. Four part plan is this:
Listens:
691
Who:
Wheatley
For god's sake, you're BOXES with LEGS! It is literally your only purpose! Walking onto buttons! How can you not do the one thing you were designed for?
Listens:
6148
Who:
Wheatley
Warning, sphere corruption at twenty-- rats cannot throw up.
Listens:
2673
Who:
Core 3
The floor. What's the floor doing? What's the floor up to? Do you know what? It's holding everything up. The floor is important, holding everything up.
Listens:
742
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, I'm uh... I'm a bad man!
Listens:
948
Who:
Defective Turret
I can only place a portal on a white portalable surface.
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
Here I go!
Listens:
324
Who:
Wheatley
This lock requires humans.
Listens:
417
Who:
GLaDOS
I. Am. Not. Dead! I'm not dead! [laughter]
Listens:
1095
Who:
Wheatley
You KNOW her?
Listens:
605
Who:
Wheatley
Well done. In the event that oxygen is no longer available in the Enrichment Center, an auxiliary air supply will be provided to you by an Aperture Science Test Associate, if one exists.
Listens:
671
Who:
GLaDOS
Moves lips while reading.
Listens:
388
Who:
GLaDOS
Best of luck, lady!
Listens:
452
Who:
Defective Turret
Two: Start the neurotoxin immediately.
Listens:
979
Who:
Wheatley
Not you, test subject, you're doing fine.
Listens:
1816
Who:
Cave Johnson
If I'd known you'd let yourself get captured this easily, I would have just dangled a turkey leg on a rope from the ceiling.
Listens:
1968
Who:
GLaDOS
You just keep testing and testing. With perfect results and no consequences.
Listens:
611
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, no matter. Because I'm STILL holding all the cards, and guess what: they're allll Full Houses! I've never played cards. Meaning to learn.
Listens:
2099
Who:
Wheatley
Here's another core! This one should do it!
Listens:
301
Who:
GLaDOS
Nobody cares, four eyes.
Listens:
1233
Who:
Core 2
Oh my god.
Listens:
2839
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, careful now.
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
Look at you. Sailing through the air majestically. Like an eagle. Piloting a blimp.
Listens:
11175
Who:
GLaDOS
Wait here. Don't go anywhere. I'll be back.
Listens:
531
Who:
GLaDOS
It's been a pleasure!
Listens:
463
Who:
Defective Turret
Ah, crap.
Listens:
1354
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
628
Who:
Defective Turret
Your brains are too small to feel either of those emotions. So I can trust you one hundred percent.
Listens:
285
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you doing, are you just having a little five minutes to yourself? Fair enough. You've had a rough time. You've been asleep for who knows how long. You've got the massive brain damage. And you're having a little rest. But NOW. Get yourself up. And pick me up.
Listens:
1156
Who:
Wheatley
Go on. Just... March on through that hole.
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
Fine, 500 point penalty for Orange.
Listens:
627
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. I guess emotional outbursts require more than one point six volts. Now we know that. We just need to relax. We're still going to find out what the hell's going on here. But calmly.
Listens:
1396
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations on completing that last test. But I find something troubling.
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
Hostile to new ideas.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. [nervous laugh] Can't do it if you're leering at me. Creepy.
Listens:
542
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, why did you do that to Orange?
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
Would you mind putting your back towards me? So I can see only your back. And not your face.
Listens:
309
Who:
Wheatley
What's happening? Um. Hmm... Ok.
Listens:
331
Who:
Wheatley
Sentry mode activated
Listens:
1966
Who:
Turret
Ahh!
Listens:
1439
Who:
Turret
Hello!
Listens:
7063
Who:
Wheatley
Agggh...
Listens:
495
Who:
Defective Turret
That's it, no, that's it! Yeah.
Listens:
327
Who:
Wheatley
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
2830
Who:
GLaDOS
Excuse me?
Listens:
887
Who:
Turret
William Shakespeare did not exist. His plays were masterminded in 1589 by Francis Bacon, who used a Ouija board to enslave play-writing ghosts.
Listens:
3009
Who:
Core 3
Corrupted core, are you ready to start the procedure?
Listens:
1512
Who:
Announcer
Antagonistic. I don't know about that.
Listens:
360
Who:
GLaDOS
You didn't do anything.
Listens:
548
Who:
GLaDOS
That's his voice up ahead.
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
Any ideas? Any ideas? No? No, me neither.
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
Who ARE you?
Listens:
3612
Who:
Turret
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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