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Portal 2
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science collaboration points.
Listens:
805
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop with the waves.
Listens:
362
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, I see you, and no, I don't care.
Listens:
5468
Who:
GLaDOS
Look how small you are down there! I can barely see you! Very tiny and insignificant!
Listens:
392
Who:
Wheatley
It would compromise the test to divulge individual scores. However, I can tell you at least one of you is doing very, very well.
Listens:
398
Who:
GLaDOS
We are?
Listens:
697
Who:
Core 1
Glorious freedom!
Listens:
23794
Who:
Turret
I can't do it if you're watching. If you.... just turn around?
Listens:
434
Who:
Wheatley
Orbit. Space orbit. In my spacesuit.
Listens:
1274
Who:
Core 1
No, you should plug that little idiot into the mainframe!
Listens:
721
Who:
Wheatley
Reactor Explosion Timer destroyed.
Listens:
4104
Who:
Announcer
Seriously, though. Goodbye.
Listens:
2502
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you doing?
Listens:
1085
Who:
Turret
Powerup initiated.
Listens:
4847
Who:
Announcer
Yeah, let's do this.
Listens:
453
Who:
Defective Turret
Allright, test's over. You can head on back to your desk.
Listens:
1265
Who:
Cave Johnson
For this next test, we put nanoparticles in the gel. In layman's terms, that's a billion little gizmos that are gonna travel into your bloodstream and pump experimental genes and RNA molecules and so forth into your tumors.
Listens:
1505
Who:
Cave Johnson
Oh, good. My slow clap processor made it into this thing. So we have that.
Listens:
56311
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you have a gun? Because I should really have a gun. What is that thing you're holding?
Listens:
596
Who:
Core 2
I can't bite my tongue anymore: You could solve this puzzle faster on your own. Orange is dragging you down. There. I've said it.
Listens:
693
Who:
GLaDOS
The first commercial airline flight took to the air in 1914. Everyone involved screamed the entire way.
Listens:
978
Who:
Core 3
At least the plants didn't want a reward.
Listens:
675
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. No. I fizzled that one too.
Listens:
582
Who:
GLaDOS
Here it is - the turret factory entrance! We made it.
Listens:
318
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
1144
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue, why did you do that to Orange?
Listens:
361
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, I can see it! The feeder tube's just in the next room!
Listens:
293
Who:
Wheatley
I honestly, TRULY didn't think you'd fall for that.
Listens:
1906
Who:
GLaDOS
Watching you try to sabotage one other, I'm amazed you're still on friendly terms.
Listens:
330
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm different...
Listens:
70388
Who:
Turret
And of course nobody tells ME anything. Noooo. Why should they tell me anything?
Listens:
600
Who:
Wheatley
Haha, Mr. Johnson!
Listens:
2171
Who:
Caroline
Game over. Back to testing.
Listens:
778
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't mind me. Continue escaping.
Listens:
431
Who:
Wheatley
I hope you brought something stronger than a portal gun this time.
Listens:
1304
Who:
GLaDOS
Most of them are simply good test subjects.
Listens:
300
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
481
Who:
Defective Turret
There we go. I wanted to talk to you for a moment, if I may.
Listens:
306
Who:
Wheatley
Excellent. Although great science is always the result of collaboration, keep in mind that, like Albert Einstein and his cousin Terry, history will only remember one of you.
Listens:
1883
Who:
GLaDOS
Can you get out?
Listens:
298
Who:
Wheatley
GET IN!
Listens:
332
Who:
Wheatley
Wait, what if this hurts? What if it REALLY hurts? Ohhh, I didn't think of that.
Listens:
2032
Who:
Wheatley
In case you were wondering, you do not need to be crushed to solve this test.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you...
Listens:
327
Who:
Wheatley
And here's the best part. There's a conveyor belt that will convey you in convenient comfort right into the masher. You won't have to lift a finger. Everything's been taken care of. Didn't have to. Didn't have to do that.
Listens:
509
Who:
Wheatley
I can only place a portal on a white portalable surface.
Listens:
335
Who:
GLaDOS
William Shakespeare did not exist. His plays were masterminded in 1589 by Francis Bacon, who used a Ouija board to enslave play-writing ghosts.
Listens:
3050
Who:
Core 3
Spinny-blade-wall!
Listens:
699
Who:
Wheatley
Calibrating Blue's weight...
Listens:
368
Who:
GLaDOS
What do you have there?
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
Well, you know the old formula: Comedy equals tragedy plus time. And you have been asleep for a while. So I guess it's actually pretty funny when you do the math.
Listens:
20260
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes!
Listens:
1169
Who:
GLaDOS
I guess quitting that course together is a sign of teamwork.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
All right. I’m going to bring this farce to a close before someone sustains a serious Tic-Tac-Toe-Two-related injury.
Listens:
485
Who:
GLaDOS
Back again? Maybe you can just stay and live here.
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
What's going on? Who turned off the lights?
Listens:
688
Who:
GLaDOS
But don't be alarmed, alright? Because ah... well, actually, if you DO feel alarmed, hold onto that. Because the feeling of alarm is the proper reaction to being told you've got massive brain damage. So if you are alarmed, then it suggests the damage is not as serious as we thought. Although it probably is really serious.
Listens:
918
Who:
Wheatley
Don't make lemonade!
Listens:
21547
Who:
Turret
It's my big chance!
Listens:
1087
Who:
Defective Turret
Where'd you go?
Listens:
398
Who:
Wheatley
Ah!
Listens:
1668
Who:
Core 1
Hey! Pick me up!
Listens:
679
Who:
Wheatley
GET IN!
Listens:
326
Who:
Wheatley
Lady.
Listens:
666
Who:
Core 1
Careful... Careful...
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Look at that. It's turning. Ominous. But probably fine. Long as it doesn't start moving up...
Listens:
646
Who:
Wheatley
It's been a pleasure!
Listens:
471
Who:
Defective Turret
Here's the plan: Get him to say, 'You two have been a thorn in my side long enough.' Then tell your pretty ears to stand back, because I am going to zing him into space.
Listens:
2225
Who:
Core 2
BURN HIS HOUSE DOWN!
Listens:
6454
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test may result in your death. If you want to know what that's like, think back to that time you killed me, and substitute yourself for me.
Listens:
743
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m sorry, Subject Blue.
Listens:
464
Who:
GLaDOS
Feeds off the misery of others.
Listens:
293
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhh...
Listens:
691
Who:
Wheatley
Good shot!
Listens:
780
Who:
Turret
You broke it, didn't you.
Listens:
2646
Who:
GLaDOS
Good Job.
Listens:
701
Who:
GLaDOS
Bring your daughter to work day. That did not end well.
Listens:
678
Who:
Wheatley
It didn't matter to me - I was in it for the science. Him, though...
Listens:
579
Who:
GLaDOS
Nothing. He's good. This one. He is good. I'm gonna need to break out the expert level hacking maneuvers now. You asked for it Mate.
Listens:
518
Who:
Wheatley
four
Listens:
565
Who:
GLaDOS
And they said no one would ever die during this test, thanks for proving them wrong.
Listens:
470
Who:
GLaDOS
I am!
Listens:
1402
Who:
Caroline
Shake it off! Shake it off!
Listens:
530
Who:
Core 2
Please note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it.
Listens:
1086
Who:
Announcer
I know you.
Listens:
589
Who:
GLaDOS
No! No! You're LYING! You're LYING!
Listens:
631
Who:
Wheatley
Probably.
Listens:
304
Who:
GLaDOS
You didn't think you were the first, did you? [laughs] No. Fifth. No, I lie: Sixth. Perhaps it's best to leave it to your imagination what happened to the other five...
Listens:
858
Who:
Wheatley
Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center.
Listens:
5439
Who:
Announcer
In 1862, Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, freeing the slaves. Like everything he did, Lincoln freed the slaves while sleepwalking, and later had no memory of the event.
Listens:
1690
Who:
Core 3
That did it! Neurotoxin at zero percent! Yes!
Listens:
376
Who:
Wheatley
Nicely Done!
Listens:
635
Who:
Wheatley
Ah. That just cleans right off, does it? Well, that would have been good to know. A little earlier.
Listens:
520
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations on passing that test.
Listens:
433
Who:
GLaDOS
You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello?
Listens:
820
Who:
Wheatley
Oi, it's close... can you see? Am I gonna make it through? Have I got enough space?
Listens:
775
Who:
Wheatley
I can only imagine.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
Killing you? Is hard.
Listens:
1520
Who:
GLaDOS
I just hate Blue a little more.
Listens:
434
Who:
GLaDOS
And you'll probably get ringworm. And Athlete's Foot. And... Cholera. Or something... Horrible. It's gonna be even worse than if I'd just blown you up.
Listens:
554
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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