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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Not a problem. I'll make an exit.
Listens:
311
Who:
Wheatley
No no no! Don't do that! Stand right there! [to self] Start the machine start the machine start the machine...
Listens:
756
Who:
Wheatley
Noooooo!
Listens:
1953
Who:
Turret
Yes, I know you did that, Blue. Don't look so proud.
Listens:
312
Who:
GLaDOS
The Tariff Act of 1789, established to protect domestic manufacture, was the second statute ever enacted by the United States government.
Listens:
690
Who:
Core 3
Good.
Listens:
543
Who:
GLaDOS
Heh heh heh...
Listens:
406
Who:
Defective Turret
You're angry. I know it. 'She’s tested me too hard.' Boo hoo. I don't suppose you ever stopped whining long enough to reflect on your own shortcomings, though, did you?
Listens:
5264
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello? Can y--no?
Listens:
1377
Who:
Wheatley
Ah, I see. Clever. Verrrrrrry clever.
Listens:
2894
Who:
Wheatley
To ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled. The Enrichment Center respects your right to have questions or concerns about this policy.
Listens:
1264
Who:
Announcer
Okay. Allright. I have an idea. But it is bloody dangerous. Here we go...
Listens:
500
Who:
Wheatley
[clap clap]
Listens:
21306
Who:
GLaDOS
We haven't entirely nailed down what element it is yet, but I'll tell you this: it's a lively one, and it does NOT like the human skeleton.
Listens:
2443
Who:
Cave Johnson
One of these times you'll be so fat that you'll jump, and you'll just drop like a stone. Into acid, probably. Like a potato into a deep fat fryer.
Listens:
18333
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations. Not on the test.
Listens:
554
Who:
GLaDOS
I want to be plugged in, please!
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
Oh great, dancing again.
Listens:
773
Who:
GLaDOS
If you have, in fact, not, you are encouraged to take a moment to reflect on your failure before proceeding into the next chamber.
Listens:
410
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll bet there isn't even a problem with the facility, is there? I'll bet there's no such thing as a 'reactor core'. I'll bet that's not even fire coming out of the walls, is it? It's just cleverly placed lights and papier mache, I'll bet that's all it is.
Listens:
2143
Who:
Wheatley
I would prefer to speak to one of you in private but since that is not an option here, I will speak in code that only one of you will understand. Blue: Orange is plotting to destroy you.
Listens:
702
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you testing me?
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction, in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have erased the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
390
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey lady. Lady.
Listens:
1036
Who:
Core 1
Turrets!
Listens:
403
Who:
Wheatley
No. Wait, did I do B? Do you have a pen? Start writing these down.
Listens:
411
Who:
Wheatley
We did it! I'm in control of the whole facility now!
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
This close and that's what you do?
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
Estás usando este software de traducción de forma incorrecta. Por favor, consulta el manual.
Listens:
7070
Who:
Wheatley
I know you.
Listens:
549
Who:
GLaDOS
One of my best tests and they let plants grow here? Can you believe this? You can't test plants! We tried. They just sit there, never showing pain nor fear.
Listens:
1594
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay back.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. Sorry. I was just thinking of all the ways humans can die.
Listens:
1498
Who:
GLaDOS
If we're lucky, she won't find out all her turrets are crap until it's too late. [laughs] Classic.
Listens:
608
Who:
Wheatley
Not so fast!
Listens:
567
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?
Listens:
425
Who:
Defective Turret
Hello.
Listens:
4148
Who:
Turret
Get in the lift.
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
Error. Error. Error. File not found.
Listens:
1280
Who:
Core 3
Using your ping tool, please indicate where you would like me to place your two portals. Ping each location.
Listens:
405
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahh. What?
Listens:
879
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, just a second...
Listens:
270
Who:
Wheatley
You two aren't lost are you?
Listens:
296
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you trying to weigh me down? Think I'll fall out of the ceiling? Won't work. I'm not just quite brilliant, I'm also quite strong. Biggest muscle in my body: my brain. Second biggest: My muscles. So, it's not going to work. Clearly.
Listens:
1112
Who:
Wheatley
Oh.
Listens:
529
Who:
Defective Turret
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
533
Who:
Defective Turret
If you have trouble with simple counting, use the following mnemonic device: one comes before two comes before 60 comes after 12 comes before six trillion comes after 504. This will make your earlier counting difficulties seem like no big deal.
Listens:
3044
Who:
Core 3
Can't help but notice you're not coming back. Which is disappointing.
Listens:
636
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, it's a core you've put on me! Who told you to do that? Was it her? [as if he's looking around] It's just making me stronger, luv! It's a fool's errand!
Listens:
2706
Who:
Wheatley
New template accepted.
Listens:
1400
Who:
Announcer
Yeah yeah yeah okay okay.
Listens:
3935
Who:
Core 1
Press the button again.
Listens:
1045
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, can't win 'em all.
Listens:
365
Who:
Defective Turret
Pleased to meetcha.
Listens:
912
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh! That's ME they're talking about!
Listens:
665
Who:
Wheatley
Pick--would you pick me up?
Listens:
282
Who:
Wheatley
Which involves deadly lasers and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly lasers.
Listens:
953
Who:
GLaDOS
Stalemate detected.
Listens:
4214
Who:
Announcer
Wanna go to space.
Listens:
983
Who:
Core 1
[yelling]
Listens:
582
Who:
Wheatley
No. Makes it go faster.
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
You know what my days used to be like? I just tested. Nobody murdered me. Or put me in a potato. Or fed me to birds. I had a pretty good life.
Listens:
85657
Who:
GLaDOS
I, uh... don't have any bullets. Are you gonna give me any bullets? Are the bullets up there?
Listens:
4387
Who:
Defective Turret
Ohhhh, space.
Listens:
1035
Who:
Core 1
It's still going down! Keep it up!
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
What? No, you pressed that bAGGGHHHHHH
Listens:
942
Who:
Wheatley
Rats cannot throw up.
Listens:
955
Who:
Core 3
There's a star. There's another one. Star. Star star star. Star.
Listens:
1579
Who:
Core 1
There's the exit! We're almost out of here!
Listens:
271
Who:
Wheatley
Pull me out pull me out pull me out pull me out pull me out pull me out pull me out!
Listens:
2838
Who:
Wheatley
If you can get me in front of him, I'll fry every circuit in that little idiot's head.
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
Since, I never expected you to make it this far, I have to build this new course just for you.
Listens:
277
Who:
GLaDOS
Watching you try to sabotage one other, I'm amazed you're still on friendly terms.
Listens:
281
Who:
GLaDOS
This time...
Listens:
532
Who:
Defective Turret
AH!
Listens:
687
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, listen, let me lay something on you here. It's pretty heavy. They told me NEVER NEVER EVER to disengage myself from my Management Rail. Or I would DIE. But we're out of options here. So... get ready to catch me, alright, on the off chance that I'm not dead the moment I pop off this thing.
Listens:
909
Who:
Wheatley
The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
Listens:
736
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey.
Listens:
1049
Who:
Core 1
If you are wondering what that smell is, that is the smell of human fear.
Listens:
286
Who:
GLaDOS
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit.
Listens:
539
Who:
Core 3
I'm sorry. The arrows seem to have rusted off. Good luck.
Listens:
503
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. Here come the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: A horrible person. We weren't even testing for that.
Listens:
75919
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah! There you are. Great. Let me just get rid of this catwalk.
Listens:
362
Who:
Wheatley
Come on, you've already solved it once. Less than a minute ago you solved this puzzle. Do it again, please.
Listens:
837
Who:
Wheatley
There it is.
Listens:
392
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah! How'd you like that?
Listens:
412
Who:
Core 2
Look who's back, were you scared to continue those tests?
Listens:
283
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah! Still not working.
Listens:
706
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going. Going to space.
Listens:
967
Who:
Core 1
Blue, orange isn't a human. The lesson on trust only needs to be taught once. Blue is penalized 1 science collaboration point.
Listens:
307
Who:
GLaDOS
That will give you PLENTY of time to chat.
Listens:
351
Who:
GLaDOS
Annnnd off we go!
Listens:
330
Who:
Wheatley
Yes sir, Mister Johnson.
Listens:
1568
Who:
Caroline
Congratulations on passing that test.
Listens:
381
Who:
GLaDOS
Fine, 500 point penalty for Blue.
Listens:
670
Who:
GLaDOS
Caroline deleted.
Listens:
21507
Who:
Announcer
Go on. Get in.
Listens:
280
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh, not now!
Listens:
497
Who:
Defective Turret
It burns.
Listens:
2791
Who:
Turret
Perhaps I should have specified. Teamwork is a concept in which two or more people work together, usually with a goal of not failing horribly.
Listens:
658
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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