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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Good shot!
Listens:
781
Who:
Turret
*I* have to go to the wing that was made entirely of glass and pick up fifteen acres of broken glass. By myself.
Listens:
1998
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, no matter. Because I'm STILL holding all the cards, and guess what: they're allll Full Houses! I've never played cards. Meaning to learn.
Listens:
2228
Who:
Wheatley
Their laughter centered around one of the objects in this room.
Listens:
733
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Oh! Don't leave me behind! Do pick me up, if you would...
Listens:
427
Who:
Wheatley
Does it actually make you feel good when you do that? Because it's not impressive. Noone's impressed. It's just glass, isn't it. Fragile. A baby could smash one of them. It's not impressive.
Listens:
725
Who:
Wheatley
I thought we fixed that.
Listens:
1047
Who:
Defective Turret
Clearly that was blue's fault. Blue is penalized 3 science collaboration points.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
The lab boys just informed me that I should not have mentioned the control group. They're telling me I oughtta stop making these pre-recorded messages. That gave me an idea: make more pre-recorded messages. I pay the bills here, I can talk about the control group all damn day.
Listens:
3374
Who:
Cave Johnson
Hello?
Listens:
1378
Who:
Turret
Do either of you feel like laughing?
Listens:
1333
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. Didn't go for that, I see. Knew I was lying. Point to you. But you still are inhaling neurotoxin. So, point deducted.
Listens:
328
Who:
Wheatley
The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects.
Listens:
554
Who:
Wheatley
Don't either you have drive to be better than the other?
Listens:
309
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay casual when I tell you this: I think I smell neurotoxin.
Listens:
447
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, fine. I'm not saying another word until you do it properly. I'm sick of this.
Listens:
605
Who:
Wheatley
Well played.
Listens:
471
Who:
Defective Turret
I don't want you to beat yourselves up about this, but the Results Auditor isn't recording your test results. Because you're not human. Which, when you think about it, is technically your fault.
Listens:
722
Who:
GLaDOS
YEAH! What's happening?
Listens:
489
Who:
Defective Turret
Right. Well, I’m going to take this rail down the back way.
Listens:
386
Who:
Wheatley
No! NO! NO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
Listens:
74655
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. No. I fizzled that one too.
Listens:
584
Who:
GLaDOS
Calibrating Blue's weight...
Listens:
369
Who:
GLaDOS
Reactions?
Listens:
613
Who:
GLaDOS
Diamonds are made when coal is put under intense pressure. Diamonds put under intense pressure become foam pellets, commonly used today as packing material.
Listens:
1923
Who:
Core 3
Also, I took the liberty of watching the tapes of you killing her, and I'm not going to make the same mistakes. Four part plan is this:
Listens:
714
Who:
Wheatley
Orange did what? Are you sure?
Listens:
1113
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhhhh, we just made it! That was close.
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
Critical error
Listens:
13815
Who:
Turret
Orange do what Blue just did.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
Two
Listens:
616
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah!
Listens:
1669
Who:
Core 1
Don't worry I'm absolutely guaranteeing you 100 percent that it's this way... Oh it's not this way.
Listens:
731
Who:
Wheatley
To reiterate: This is not a competition.
Listens:
725
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah. That just cleans right off, does it? Well, that would have been good to know. A little earlier.
Listens:
523
Who:
Wheatley
Nothing. He's good. This one. He is good. I'm gonna need to break out the expert level hacking maneuvers now. You asked for it Mate.
Listens:
519
Who:
Wheatley
Machiavellian!
Listens:
1100
Who:
Wheatley
She did all the work.
Listens:
544
Who:
GLaDOS
Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Space!
Listens:
1314
Who:
Core 1
Very good. You’ve really come together as a team. Thanks to the one of you who appears to be doing all of the work.
Listens:
471
Who:
GLaDOS
Look!
Listens:
465
Who:
GLaDOS
But that was worth it.
Listens:
642
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
601
Who:
Defective Turret
Hello.
Listens:
1139
Who:
Defective Turret
Federal regulations require me to warn you that this next test chamber... is looking pretty good.
Listens:
1139
Who:
GLaDOS
The occupation of court jester was invented accidentally, when a vassal's epilepsy was mistaken for capering.
Listens:
714
Who:
Core 3
If you can't complete this course, those humans will die. Do you want that?
Listens:
372
Who:
GLaDOS
'Let there be light.' That's, uh... God. I was quoting God.
Listens:
2641
Who:
Wheatley
You really do have brain damage, don't you?
Listens:
2262
Who:
GLaDOS
*cough* Button. Button.
Listens:
1415
Who:
Wheatley
You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, look up at the ceiling. [BUZZER]
Listens:
3146
Who:
Announcer
The Mexican-American War ended in 1848 with the signing of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo.
Listens:
627
Who:
Core 3
All reactor core safeguards are now non-functional. Please prepare for reactor core meltdown.
Listens:
9403
Who:
Announcer
Warning! All testing courses are currently available.
Listens:
2225
Who:
Announcer
Here I go!
Listens:
331
Who:
Wheatley
There. Try it now.
Listens:
525
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no no no... No! Nooo!
Listens:
9972
Who:
Wheatley
And it almost killed me.
Listens:
480
Who:
GLaDOS
Look who's back, were you scared to continue those tests?
Listens:
319
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange receives
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah.
Listens:
582
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, you know what? That's close enough. Just hold tight.
Listens:
1625
Who:
Wheatley
Get in the lift.
Listens:
334
Who:
Wheatley
I am!
Listens:
1403
Who:
Caroline
FOOL! You were a fool to come back, because I've trapped you again! Helpless. You're at my mercy. And I don't have any. You're at my nothing. You're at my lack of mercy.
Listens:
2280
Who:
Wheatley
Right. Now, you might be asking yourself, 'Cave, just how difficult are these tests? What was in that phone book of a contract I signed? Am I in danger?'
Listens:
1758
Who:
Cave Johnson
This isn't that hard.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
This is one of MY tests!
Listens:
475
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry
Listens:
2853
Who:
Turret
No sense of humor.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
Still, though, let's get mad! If we're going to explode, let's at least explode with some dignity.
Listens:
1936
Who:
GLaDOS
Fifty thousand years is a lot of time to think. About me. About you. We were doing so well together.
Listens:
819
Who:
GLaDOS
Ignores directions.
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
The most poisonous fish in the world is the orange ruffy. Everything but its eyes are made of a deadly poison. The ruffy's eyes are composed of a less harmful, deadly poison.
Listens:
2441
Who:
Core 3
To initiate a core transfer, please deposit substitute core in receptacle.
Listens:
1382
Who:
Announcer
Always leaves tiny little bit of coffee in the pot so they don't have to make a new one. Then the bit in the bottom burns and stinks up the place.
Listens:
816
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh really. That's what the two of you think, is it?
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
It's alright! Everything's good. I just invented some more tests!
Listens:
357
Who:
Wheatley
Waitwaitwait. Ohhhh. Not helpful. Rrrrrg. Don't know why I thought that would help.
Listens:
1276
Who:
Wheatley
If you have, in fact, not, you are encouraged to take a moment to reflect on your failure before proceeding into the next chamber.
Listens:
440
Who:
GLaDOS
You've still got to get through the door. Please. Need to get through that door there.
Listens:
315
Who:
Wheatley
Orange, I certainly expected more from you.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
All right, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons? Don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! 'I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?'
Listens:
127326
Who:
Cave Johnson
Puppet master! You're a puppet in a play, and I hold all the strings! And cards, still. Cards in one hand, strings in the other. And I'm making you dance like a puppet. Playing cards.
Listens:
2673
Who:
Wheatley
It flew off.
Listens:
407
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Plan B, subsection one: Stand still so I can bring you back.
Listens:
706
Who:
GLaDOS
What was that?
Listens:
399
Who:
Wheatley
Okay...
Listens:
359
Who:
Wheatley
Can I get some bullets here? Anybody got bullets?
Listens:
747
Who:
Defective Turret
Are we in space yet? What's the hold-up? Gotta go to space. Gotta go to SPACE.
Listens:
1561
Who:
Core 1
HA! The tube's broken! We can ride it straight to her!
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
So that's a complete reassembly. New vitals. Spit-shine on the old ones. Plus we're scooping out tumors. Frankly, you oughtta be paying us.
Listens:
1738
Who:
Cave Johnson
Are they killing you? They're killing you, aren't they?
Listens:
668
Who:
Wheatley
Do hear that? That's the sound of the neurotoxin emitters emitting neurotoxin.
Listens:
1559
Who:
GLaDOS
Look down. Where am I? Where am I?
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
Aw, come on!
Listens:
709
Who:
Defective Turret
Bad news is we're postponing those tests indefinitely. Good news is we've got a much better test for you: fighting an army of mantis men. Pick up a rifle and follow the yellow line. You'll know when the test starts.
Listens:
19127
Who:
Cave Johnson
Ah. Hmmmm.
Listens:
332
Who:
Wheatley
How's that taste, pal?
Listens:
475
Who:
Core 2
Today, you will be testing with a partner.
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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