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I'll give you a hint. Button. That's all I'm gonna say. One word. Button.
Listens:
438
Who:
Wheatley
Look - metal ball, I CAN hear you.
Listens:
1835
Who:
GLaDOS
YES! I KNEW someone was alive in here!
Listens:
398
Who:
Wheatley
Firing
Listens:
744
Who:
Turret
Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center.
Listens:
883
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, there are test subjects in Africa who don't even have monitors in their test chambers. Why don't you think of that before you break any more of them?
Listens:
1134
Who:
Wheatley
Oh I know! I know I know I know I know I know - let's go to space!
Listens:
1350
Who:
Core 1
Unknown error
Listens:
1887
Who:
Turret
It would be pointless for either of us to hurt Blue’s feelings. But it’s clear to everyone monitoring the test who’s carrying who here.
Listens:
569
Who:
GLaDOS
You're doing great!
Listens:
452
Who:
Core 2
Since making test participation mandatory for all employees, the quality of our test subjects has risen dramatically. Employee retention, however, has not.
Listens:
2989
Who:
Cave Johnson
The surge of emotion that shot through me when I saved your life taught me an even more valuable lesson: where Caroline lives in my brain.
Listens:
1350
Who:
GLaDOS
Rgggh!
Listens:
587
Who:
Defective Turret
Neurotoxin level at capacity in five minutes.
Listens:
4592
Who:
Announcer
Good shot!
Listens:
775
Who:
Turret
I'm going to be honest with you now. Not fake honest like before, but real honest, like you're incapable of. I know you're up to something.
Listens:
509
Who:
GLaDOS
We're so close! Go press the button!
Listens:
1519
Who:
GLaDOS
Agggh, not again!
Listens:
571
Who:
Defective Turret
Anyway, look, we're really close to busting out, just hang in there for five more chambers.
Listens:
298
Who:
Wheatley
Orange, is there something you would like to say?
Listens:
319
Who:
GLaDOS
GO.
Listens:
1096
Who:
GLaDOS
Aw, come on!
Listens:
703
Who:
Defective Turret
We all agree you should stop.
Listens:
383
Who:
GLaDOS
Problems with authority.
Listens:
321
Who:
GLaDOS
Impersonating a stalemate associate. I just added that to the list. It's a list I made of all the things you've done. Well, it's a list that I AM making, because you're still doing things right now, even though I'm telling you to stop. Stop, by the way.
Listens:
1405
Who:
GLaDOS
Second time's a charm...
Listens:
788
Who:
Defective Turret
[sound of pages turning] Oh, sorry. Hope that didn't disturb you just then. It was the sound of books. Pages being turned.
Listens:
1399
Who:
Wheatley
[beep] Sarcasm Self Test complete. [beep]
Listens:
314055
Who:
Announcer
If at first you don't succeed, fail 5 more times.
Listens:
29896
Who:
GLaDOS
Paradoxes.
Listens:
937
Who:
GLaDOS
What -what's wrong with being adopted? Um. Well... lack of parents, for one, and... also... furthermore... nothing. Some of my best... friends are... orphans... But...
Listens:
2072
Who:
Wheatley
Did you think that would be funny?
Listens:
525
Who:
GLaDOS
Target aquired.
Listens:
2318
Who:
Turret
Yes, thanks. We get it.
Listens:
586
Who:
GLaDOS
I agree, Orange. That was entertaining.
Listens:
290
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, get moving.
Listens:
319
Who:
Wheatley
I'm afraid the door's locked. Just checked it. No way to hack it as far as I can tell. The mechanism must be on the -oh, now look at that. That's a big laser!
Listens:
487
Who:
Wheatley
Did you know I discovered a way to eradicate poverty? But then you KILLED me. So that's gone.
Listens:
879
Who:
GLaDOS
Hooray!
Listens:
5123
Who:
Turret
Oh shut up!
Listens:
1708
Who:
Core 2
And then you showed up. You dangerous, mute lunatic. So you know what?
Listens:
3533
Who:
GLaDOS
The two of you have forged an excellent partnership, with one of you handling the cerebral challenges and the other ready to ponderously waddle into action should the test suddenly become an eating contest.
Listens:
957
Who:
GLaDOS
I was going to kill you fast. With bullets. Or neurotoxin. But if you're going to pull stunts like this, it doesn't have to be fast. So you know. I'll take my time.
Listens:
1618
Who:
GLaDOS
I found two little robots back here. Built specifically for testin'!
Listens:
385
Who:
Wheatley
I am not sure you will need him but he will be there.
Listens:
369
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on. Run back the other way! I'll turn the bridges back on!
Listens:
320
Who:
Wheatley
Get going. I'll fill you in along the way.
Listens:
678
Who:
GLaDOS
Try to make your way back out here!
Listens:
330
Who:
Wheatley
Blue what did you do?
Listens:
380
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
588
Who:
Defective Turret
One of these times you'll be so fat that you'll jump, and you'll just drop like a stone. Into acid, probably. Like a potato into a deep fat fryer.
Listens:
18560
Who:
GLaDOS
I was confident you could finish.
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
583
Who:
Defective Turret
You're not just a regular moron. You were DESIGNED to be a moron.
Listens:
27816
Who:
GLaDOS
So I've been thinking: We need humans for these tests. And since the only human within a thousand miles of us is a test-ruining sociopath... I'll just have to MAKE some.
Listens:
1620
Who:
GLaDOS
If the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from space-debris DOES NOT appear to be a deliberate part of the test.
Listens:
1925
Who:
Announcer
Oh! Wow! Good! I did not think that was going to work.
Listens:
908
Who:
Wheatley
Go on, just walk up to the window and take a look out.
Listens:
335
Who:
Wheatley
Ooh. It's dark down here isn't it?
Listens:
313
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, that felt really good.
Listens:
1479
Who:
Wheatley
Each portal gun may create two self-contained portals.
Listens:
400
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, thanks so much!
Listens:
754
Who:
Defective Turret
I did everything you asked!
Listens:
3335
Who:
Turret
Have you got any ideas?
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, you can go.
Listens:
399
Who:
Defective Turret
Here we are. The Incinerator Room. Be careful not to trip over any parts of me that didn't get completely burned when you threw them down here.
Listens:
879
Who:
GLaDOS
Plus, I put a lot of effort in getting this lair ready for you. It'd certainly teach me a lesson if you simply died, painlessly, twenty feet from the door. I'd be furious. I'd be like RRRRR. I got my just desserts. No more than I deserve. Why not teach me a lesson by jumping in the old masher?
Listens:
878
Who:
Wheatley
I feel awful about that surprise. Tell you what, let's give your parents a call right now. [phone ringing] The birth parents you are trying to reach do not love you. Please hang up. [Dial tone]
Listens:
29031
Who:
GLaDOS
Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry.
Listens:
470
Who:
Defective Turret
Now, maybe you don't have any tumors. Well, don't worry. If you sat on a folding chair in the lobby and weren't wearing lead underpants, we took care of that too.
Listens:
2476
Who:
Cave Johnson
Oh good, that's back online. I'll start getting everything else working while you perform this first simple test.
Listens:
851
Who:
GLaDOS
In Victorian England, a commoner was not allowed to look directly at the Queen, due to a belief at the time that the poor had the ability to steal thoughts. Science now believes that less than 4% of poor people are able to do this.
Listens:
2028
Who:
Core 3
This close and that's what you do?
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
Seeks out conflicts with co-workers.
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
You like revenge, right? Everybody likes revenge. Well, let's go get some.
Listens:
2837
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm going through the list of test subjects in cryogenic storage. I managed to find two with your last name. A man and a woman. So that's interesting. It's a small world.
Listens:
590
Who:
GLaDOS
Can you get out?
Listens:
288
Who:
Wheatley
Don't plug him in.
Listens:
481
Who:
GLaDOS
Your test times show you are going too slowly.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
Press it!
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! How's it going! I talked my way onto the nanobot work crew rebuilding this shaft. They are REALLY small, so -ah - I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
630
Who:
Wheatley
Either way, I get the impression he's trying to kill us.
Listens:
472
Who:
GLaDOS
It's been a long time. How have you been?
Listens:
48109
Who:
GLaDOS
Wait! I've got an idea!
Listens:
407
Who:
GLaDOS
Now you're thinking with stupidity.
Listens:
1959
Who:
GLaDOS
Ow. I hate this bird.
Listens:
1999
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah, come on!
Listens:
462
Who:
Defective Turret
Warning. Reactor core is at critical temperature.
Listens:
21012
Who:
Announcer
But that was worth it.
Listens:
627
Who:
GLaDOS
...unless a stalemate associate is present to press the stalemate resolution button.
Listens:
2464
Who:
Announcer
Oh oh oh. This is space! I'm in space!
Listens:
1888
Who:
Core 1
Am I interrupting your important conversation?
Listens:
526
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, your plan is working perfectly.
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
If he's not getting his solution euphoria, we could be in a lot of trouble.
Listens:
511
Who:
GLaDOS
Right. Hmm. I'm gonna have to hack the door so we can get at it.
Listens:
358
Who:
Wheatley
Allright, test's over. You can head on back to your desk.
Listens:
1254
Who:
Cave Johnson
Orange, now you're just being cruel. Orange receives 25 science collaboration points.
Listens:
400
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. Paradox time.
Listens:
1272
Who:
GLaDOS
That's right. A potato just called your eyes fat.
Listens:
5909
Who:
GLaDOS
Poor self-esteem.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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