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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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At least the plants didn't want a reward.
Listens:
643
Who:
GLaDOS
Space.
Listens:
1024
Who:
Core 1
Hold on! This is a bit tricky!
Listens:
391
Who:
Wheatley
I'll bet you think I forgot about your surprise. I didn't. In fact, we're headed to your surprise right now. After all these years. I'm getting choked up just thinking about it.
Listens:
699
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't make eye contact whatever you do...
Listens:
340
Who:
Wheatley
*cough* Button. Button.
Listens:
1394
Who:
Wheatley
Ha ha ha ha ha, good one.
Listens:
2324
Who:
GLaDOS
Every time you fail, it's a reminder of the way things used to be. But then there you are. Again. Like nothing happened.
Listens:
475
Who:
GLaDOS
A computer. Not a surprise. Expected. Check that off the list. Computer identified. Tick.
Listens:
483
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, Orange and I were just discussing your behavior on the last few tests.
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
Seriously, I'm not joking. Could you just turn around for a second?
Listens:
503
Who:
Wheatley
Always cold.
Listens:
296
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue is penalized
Listens:
425
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, that transpired just as you said it would.
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
Is that camera is hooked into the lock?
Listens:
290
Who:
GLaDOS
You should see yourselves right now.
Listens:
1358
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyway, here's a new cube for you to project your deranged loneliness onto.
Listens:
944
Who:
GLaDOS
Thank you, that was very brave of you to tell me.
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
Warning: Core corruption at 100 percent.
Listens:
6666
Who:
Announcer
Well played.
Listens:
459
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
6286
Who:
Defective Turret
[laugh trailing off] Actually, why do we have to leave right now?
Listens:
1300
Who:
Wheatley
The engineers tried everything to make me... behave. To slow me down.
Listens:
898
Who:
GLaDOS
Shake it off! Shake it off!
Listens:
523
Who:
Core 2
Good. This completes the gymnastic portion of your mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise.
Listens:
1435
Who:
Announcer
Okay, almost there. On the other side of that wall is one of the old testing tracks. There's a piece of equipment in there we're gonna need to get out of here. I think this is a docking station. Get ready...
Listens:
365
Who:
Wheatley
Yay, Blue is back. Testing can continue.
Listens:
729
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm different...
Listens:
69640
Who:
Turret
OW! You stabbed me! What is WRONG with yo-WhoOOAAahhh. Hold on. Do you have a multimeter? Nevermind. The gun must be part magnesium... It feels like I'm outputting an extra half a volt. Keep an eye on me: I'm going to do some scheming. Here I g-[BZZZ!]
Listens:
15669
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh dear.
Listens:
910
Who:
Turret
If your confidence is still not high enough remember no one was created perfect.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
If you're going to hit each other, at least aim for the head.
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
Did something happen? [yawn] I wasn't watching.
Listens:
547
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't want to drive a wedge between the two of you, but I've been studying Blue's performance, and I don't know how to put this... I'm certain you're trying very hard.
Listens:
1044
Who:
GLaDOS
[gentle laughter] It's been fun. Don't come back.
Listens:
7464
Who:
GLaDOS
I created this test to let the humans feel good about themselves. It is extremely easy. Just follow the arrows.
Listens:
475
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's see what the next test is. Oh. Advanced Aerial Faith Plates.
Listens:
424
Who:
GLaDOS
The scientists were always hanging cores on me to regulate my behavior. I've heard voices all my life. But now I hear the voice of a conscience, and it's terrifying, because for the first time it's my voice.
Listens:
1615
Who:
GLaDOS
I think after that display, we should take a break from the official testing courses.
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
Back, and deadlier than ever!
Listens:
804
Who:
Defective Turret
You know, I'd tell you if I were dead. Courtesy. Mark of a civil society. So, just let me know.
Listens:
434
Who:
Wheatley
I can only place a portal on a white portalable surface.
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
And there's a flat bit. Not sure what that is. But: noted. If anyone says to me is there a flat bit? Yes, there it is.
Listens:
556
Who:
Wheatley
Let me give you a clue, it is the one thing you can't do.
Listens:
290
Who:
GLaDOS
There should be a portal device on that podium over there.
Listens:
321
Who:
Wheatley
Antagonistic. I don't know about that.
Listens:
360
Who:
GLaDOS
I knew it was gonna be cool being in charge of everything, but... wow, this is cool!
Listens:
382
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. It's you. Go away.
Listens:
1944
Who:
GLaDOS
Good luck!
Listens:
368
Who:
Wheatley
An extra special bonus course that ends with us finding and freeing humans!
Listens:
330
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh.
Listens:
394
Who:
Wheatley
Oh come on... If it makes you feel any better, they abandoned you at birth, so I very seriously doubt they'd even want to see you.
Listens:
818
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, is there something you would like to say?
Listens:
326
Who:
GLaDOS
I know things look bleak, but that crazy man down there was right. Let's not take these lemons! We are going to march right back upstairs and MAKE him put me back in my body!
Listens:
4418
Who:
GLaDOS
*cough* PRESS THE BUTTON.
Listens:
34542
Who:
Wheatley
Ow!
Listens:
1009
Who:
Turret
To ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled. The Enrichment Center respects your right to have questions or concerns about this policy.
Listens:
1321
Who:
Announcer
Listen to me. We had a lot of fun testing and antagonizing each other, and, yes, sometimes it went too far. But we're off the clock now. It's just us talking. Like regular people. And this is no joke - we are in deep trouble.
Listens:
907
Who:
GLaDOS
The Enrichment Center will now provide a list of numbers and fruits. Write them down as they will become important later in the experiment. Not the fruits, though. Seven. Avocado. Forty. Please continue into the next test chamber.
Listens:
1015
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on. Run back the other way! I'll turn the bridges back on!
Listens:
314
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, stand back, everybody.
Listens:
427
Who:
Defective Turret
Malfunctioning
Listens:
1281
Who:
Turret
Why do I hate you so much? You ever wonder that? I'm brilliant. I’m not bragging. It's an objective fact. I'm the most massive collection of wisdom that’s ever existed. And I hate you. It can't be for no reason. You must deserve it.
Listens:
32126
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you stopping that.
Listens:
392
Who:
GLaDOS
If that doesn't motivate you, I'm not sure what will.
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
Aggh, see, now I hit that one, I hit that one...
Listens:
314
Who:
Wheatley
Uh oh.
Listens:
440
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you give up? It was the floor. Lying down on the floor. Is where I am. Needing you to pick me up.
Listens:
312
Who:
Wheatley
You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you cutting that out.
Listens:
453
Who:
GLaDOS
Good work! Now throw the ball over the ledge.
Listens:
565
Who:
GLaDOS
Powerup initiated.
Listens:
4717
Who:
Announcer
Egotistical.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
575
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey, a countdown clock! Man, that is trouble. Situation's looking pretty ugly. For such a beautiful woman. If you don't mind me saying.
Listens:
1350
Who:
Core 2
Hey.
Listens:
677
Who:
Core 1
Just turn around.
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
I defy you to tell me there's a purpose to what you're doing.
Listens:
335
Who:
GLaDOS
In order to ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled.
Listens:
493
Who:
GLaDOS
Tell it to the bad guy. Maybe you'll make him so bored his brain'll explode.
Listens:
582
Who:
Core 2
Test chamber completed. In the interest of - [FADES OUT] [FADES IN] I am now talking to you privately. Do not tell your teammate. Just between you and me? You're doing very well. [FADES BACK IN] One hundred and seven.
Listens:
1433
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't bite my tongue anymore: You could solve this puzzle faster on your own. Orange is dragging you down. There. I've said it.
Listens:
671
Who:
GLaDOS
I just thought you find that interesting, most winners do.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
What's going on in there?
Listens:
346
Who:
Wheatley
They're not even your screens to break. It's vandalism. It's pure vandalism. You wouldn't do this if this was your house, would you? If I came around to your house smashin' your telly to bits, you'd be furious. And rightly so. Unbelievable.
Listens:
944
Who:
Wheatley
Hello?
Listens:
2962
Who:
Turret
No!
Listens:
420
Who:
Wheatley
One of these times you'll be so fat that you'll jump, and you'll just drop like a stone. Into acid, probably. Like a potato into a deep fat fryer.
Listens:
18511
Who:
GLaDOS
Fine. Let the games begin.
Listens:
4131
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, it will. Believe me, it will.
Listens:
1784
Who:
GLaDOS
Could you come over here?
Listens:
3390
Who:
Turret
Oh!
Listens:
1346
Who:
Turret
Their laughter centered around one of the objects in this room.
Listens:
713
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, how well do you really know Blue? Do you trust Blue?
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
BECAUSE I'M A POTATO.
Listens:
770124
Who:
GLaDOS
If you're interested in an additional sixty dollars, flag down a test associate and let 'em know. You could walk out of here with a hundred and twenty weighing down your bindle if you let us take you apart, put some science stuff in you, then put you back together good as new.
Listens:
1607
Who:
Cave Johnson
Just say 'Apple'. Classic. Very simple.
Listens:
844
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! It's me!
Listens:
1605
Who:
Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
480
Who:
Defective Turret
I love space. Love space.
Listens:
1043
Who:
Core 1
Let's look at their files...
Listens:
466
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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