Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
Oh! Thanks.
Listens:
485
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m sorry, Subject Orange.
Listens:
460
Who:
GLaDOS
Stay casual when I tell you this: I think I smell neurotoxin.
Listens:
444
Who:
Wheatley
Maybe you ARE getting human emotions.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
I hate you so much.
Listens:
14080
Who:
GLaDOS
I saw it. It was an accident.
Listens:
951
Who:
Turret
Nevermind. I have to go... check something. Test on your own recognizance. I'll be back.
Listens:
526
Who:
GLaDOS
Aw... hates Mondays.
Listens:
1635
Who:
GLaDOS
Here it is. Why don't you just do it? Trust me, it's an easier way out than whatever asinine plan your friend came up with.
Listens:
4542
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, how ya doin'.
Listens:
830
Who:
Defective Turret
Coming through!
Listens:
2072
Who:
Turret
Turret redemption lines active.
Listens:
1729
Who:
Announcer
Okay, I'm gonna lay my cards on the table: I don't wanna do it. I don't want to go in there. Don't... Don't go in there - She's off. She's off! Panic over! She's off. All fine! On we go.
Listens:
608
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Sorry. The lift. Sorry. I keep forgetting.
Listens:
500
Who:
Wheatley
Ha ha, YES! I knew you'd solve it!
Listens:
347
Who:
Wheatley
Orange, Blue and I were just discussing your behavior on the last few tests.
Listens:
325
Who:
GLaDOS
Wait! I've got an idea!
Listens:
408
Who:
GLaDOS
No knife? That's fine. I know all about pressure points.
Listens:
492
Who:
Core 2
Wait. Why DID you trundle over here? You're not HUNGRY, are you? It's hard to see, what's that in your hand? Knowing you it's a deep fryer.
Listens:
3696
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfect. Now All YOU have to do is capture them for me. Then everything will finally be ba--
Listens:
825
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, it's not nice to make fun of Orange like that.
Listens:
326
Who:
GLaDOS
Try it now.
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
Run!
Listens:
504
Who:
Wheatley
Now, we just need you to release the humans from their imprisonment.
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
YES YOU ARE! YOU'RE THE MORON THEY BUILT TO MAKE ME AN IDIOT!
Listens:
11645
Who:
GLaDOS
You both need to do something.
Listens:
302
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't take anything with you.
Listens:
416
Who:
GLaDOS
I thought you'd be faster at this, but I can appreciate the desire to stop and smell the testing. That other scent you smell? That's the stench of my utter disappointment in you.
Listens:
1669
Who:
GLaDOS
Sometimes testing has to occur outside the confines of the lab.
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
We made it we made it we made it. Space!
Listens:
3389
Who:
Core 1
Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody's going to have to repair that too. No, don't get up. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
663
Who:
GLaDOS
Here it comes, pal!
Listens:
489
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh really. That's what the two of you think, is it?
Listens:
331
Who:
Wheatley
Lacks charisma.
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm being serious, I think there's something really wrong with me.
Listens:
1297
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't press it! COME BACK!
Listens:
982
Who:
Wheatley
To your left... you'll see some lights of some kind. Don't know what they do. But very sciencey anyway.
Listens:
668
Who:
Wheatley
Remember when I first told you how to find that little portal thing you love so much? Thought you'd die on the way, if I'm honest. All the others did.
Listens:
673
Who:
Wheatley
To reiterate: This is not a competition.
Listens:
719
Who:
GLaDOS
Frequent mood swings.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
Whatever he does, it isn't important enough for anyone to bother writing it down. For all I know, he doesn't even work here.
Listens:
537
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't... I can't do it if you're watching. [nervous laugh]
Listens:
672
Who:
Wheatley
You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you stopping that.
Listens:
403
Who:
GLaDOS
[laugh] Would you pick me up?
Listens:
672
Who:
Wheatley
Pull me out pull me out pull me out pull me out pull me out pull me out pull me out!
Listens:
2961
Who:
Wheatley
Don't forget! Thorn! Side!
Listens:
702
Who:
Core 2
Probably ought to bring you up to speed on something right now.
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah! Let's do this!
Listens:
576
Who:
Defective Turret
Not paying attennnntion...
Listens:
516
Who:
GLaDOS
Once testing starts, I'm required by protocol to keep interaction with you to a minimum. Luckily, we haven't started testing yet. This will be our only chance to talk.
Listens:
604
Who:
GLaDOS
[beep] Sarcasm Self Test complete. [beep]
Listens:
314726
Who:
Announcer
Oh those clerks.
Listens:
417
Who:
GLaDOS
HA! I knew someone was alive in here.
Listens:
362
Who:
Wheatley
BAM! Secret panel! That I opened. While your back was turned.
Listens:
483
Who:
Wheatley
And another thing! You never caught me. I told you I could die falling off that rail. And you didn't catch me. You didn't even try. Oh, it's all becoming clear to me now. Find some dupe to break you out of cryosleep. Give him a sob story about escaping to the surface. Squeeze him for information on where to find a portal gun.
Listens:
4321
Who:
Wheatley
Oh good, that's back online. I'll start getting everything else working while you perform this first simple test.
Listens:
852
Who:
GLaDOS
From here we transport you to the new testing course.
Listens:
357
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, alright, okay. This is getting tiresome. I'm surprised you haven't got anything better to do. I know I have. You've proven you can break screens. Proven. Factual. Well done. Good. Aren't you little miss clever. Little miss smashy-smash.
Listens:
1418
Who:
Wheatley
Lady.
Listens:
665
Who:
Core 1
Yes sir, Mister Johnson.
Listens:
1638
Who:
Caroline
Electrocution, shot, drowned, crushed, burned in goo.
Listens:
1322
Who:
GLaDOS
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Oh yeah!
Listens:
717
Who:
Core 2
First thing I noticed about you: 'Now there's a lady who could resolve any button-based disputes,' I thought. A diamond in the rough, if you will--a a bloody natural. A born dispute resolution advisor in need of a button.
Listens:
571
Who:
Wheatley
Ah, come on!
Listens:
464
Who:
Defective Turret
You ever notice how nobody stops what they're doing to listen? We don't care.
Listens:
603
Who:
Core 2
...What are you doing?...
Listens:
1292
Who:
GLaDOS
Slapping hands. That accomplishes something.
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
So... you're gonna test. I'm gonna watch. And everything is gonna be JUST... FINE.
Listens:
724
Who:
Wheatley
You don't have to test with the garbage. It's garbage.
Listens:
596
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, deleting Caroline just now taught me a valuable lesson. The best solution to a problem is usually the easiest one. And I'll be honest.
Listens:
1683
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, this is taking too long. I'll just tell you how to solve the test.
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
Well, on with the test.
Listens:
319
Who:
Wheatley
Riggght now.
Listens:
334
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, you win.
Listens:
916
Who:
Turret
This way! This way!
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
If he's not getting his solution euphoria, we could be in a lot of trouble.
Listens:
512
Who:
GLaDOS
I hardly think you're even trying with these gestures anymore.
Listens:
362
Who:
GLaDOS
Silently killing you. Probably. If I had to guess.
Listens:
543
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhhh, have you got an idea?
Listens:
291
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, that's long enough. Are you dead yet? How about now?
Listens:
662
Who:
Wheatley
Powerup complete.
Listens:
3809
Who:
Announcer
Space space wanna go to space yes please space. Space space. Go to space.
Listens:
18836
Who:
Core 1
Yay, Orange is back. Testing can continue.
Listens:
474
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. You know, when I woke up and saw the state of the labs, I started to wonder if there was any point to going on. I came THAT close to just giving up and letting you go.
Listens:
410
Who:
GLaDOS
Explosion imminent. Evacuate the facility immediately.
Listens:
29515
Who:
Announcer
I talked my way onto the nanobot work crew rebuilding this shaft. They're REALLY small, so they have very tiny little brains. But there're a billion of 'em, so it's only a matter of time until ONE of them notices I'm the size of a planet.
Listens:
979
Who:
Wheatley
I can’t keep quiet about this. I think Orange is actively trying to sabotage your success. Let’s keep this between us.
Listens:
399
Who:
GLaDOS
Do something only a human would do.
Listens:
454
Who:
GLaDOS
I think they wanted to punish them by not allowing me to include them in testing.
Listens:
328
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not press that button!
Listens:
542
Who:
Wheatley
Oh. Sorry. Could have... sworn you said something.
Listens:
373
Who:
Wheatley
This place is self-destructing, you idiot!
Listens:
832
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, so the bad news is the tests are MY tests now. So they can kill us.
Listens:
515
Who:
GLaDOS
Go press the button! Go press it!
Listens:
1069
Who:
GLaDOS
In fact, I'm going to have to take a break for a minute. A partial break during which I'll stop the facility from exploding while still throwing bombs at you.
Listens:
607
Who:
Wheatley
According to Norse legend, thunder god Thor's chariot was pulled across the sky by two goats.
Listens:
827
Who:
Core 3
Well, enough about that first person's file. Let's look at some others.
Listens:
409
Who:
GLaDOS
I can drop the fake praise.
Listens:
440
Who:
GLaDOS
You're doing great!
Listens:
456
Who:
Core 2
You really don't need to keep failing.
Listens:
384
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!