Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
We're in space!
Listens:
2564
Who:
Wheatley
There it is.
Listens:
414
Who:
GLaDOS
Right behind me.
Listens:
286
Who:
Wheatley
We're so close! Go press the button!
Listens:
1477
Who:
GLaDOS
NO.
Listens:
2052
Who:
GLaDOS
Take me with you...
Listens:
955
Who:
Turret
Lacks empathy.
Listens:
307
Who:
GLaDOS
The first person to prove that cow's milk is drinkable was very, very thirsty.
Listens:
4406
Who:
Core 3
I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science.
Listens:
759
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahungh.
Listens:
318
Who:
Wheatley
Warning. Reactor core is at critical temperature.
Listens:
20279
Who:
Announcer
If you want to just call it quits, we could just sit here. Forever. That's an option. Option A: Sit here. Do nothing. Option B: Go through there, and if she's alive, she'll almost certainly kill us.
Listens:
530
Who:
Wheatley
Enh!
Listens:
330
Who:
Wheatley
I'm kidding.
Listens:
873
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on. Just... March on through that hole.
Listens:
284
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I'll take that as a no, then.
Listens:
398
Who:
Wheatley
What was that?
Listens:
378
Who:
Wheatley
Uh oh.
Listens:
451
Who:
Wheatley
She's bringing the whole place down! Hurry!
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
China produces the world's second largest crop of soybeans.
Listens:
564
Who:
Core 3
Warning: Central core is eighty percent corrupt.
Listens:
2342
Who:
Announcer
At least the plants didn't want a reward.
Listens:
618
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, it's not nice to make fun of Blue like that.
Listens:
324
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahh. What?
Listens:
901
Who:
Wheatley
You know who ended up, do you know who ended up taking her down in the end? You're not going to believe this. A human.
Listens:
289
Who:
Wheatley
You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
Listens:
505
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyway, look, the point is we're gonna break out of here, alright? But we can't do it yet. Look for me fifteen chambers ahead.
Listens:
330
Who:
Wheatley
Wanna go to -- wanna go to space
Listens:
1015
Who:
Core 1
(excited gasps)
Listens:
1621
Who:
Core 1
Wait here. Don't go anywhere. I'll be back.
Listens:
505
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done. Interesting note, I only created this test to watch test subjects fail and you didn't. You must be very, very proud. I'm building the world's smallest trophy for you.
Listens:
854
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh, no. The turbines again. I have to go. Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version.
Listens:
1047
Who:
GLaDOS
After that...who knows? I might take up a hobby. Reanimating the dead, maybe.
Listens:
841
Who:
GLaDOS
NO!
Listens:
691
Who:
GLaDOS
Stalemate Resolved.
Listens:
1854
Who:
Announcer
Hello!
Listens:
12615
Who:
Turret
Mr. Johnson...
Listens:
1418
Who:
Caroline
Blah.
Listens:
1087
Who:
GLaDOS
If Orange had said those things about me, Orange would never make it to the next reassembly station.
Listens:
282
Who:
GLaDOS
What's going on in there?
Listens:
323
Who:
Wheatley
Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen.
Listens:
2308
Who:
GLaDOS
Space Court. For people in space. Judge space sun presiding. Bam. Guilty. Of being in space. I'm in space.
Listens:
5455
Who:
Core 1
Sorry.
Listens:
525
Who:
GLaDOS
You should see yourselves right now.
Listens:
1344
Who:
GLaDOS
Federal regulations require me to warn you that this next test chamber... is looking pretty good.
Listens:
34653
Who:
GLaDOS
[Laughter]
Listens:
5823
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop doing that! All you need to do is open the Vault door!
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
Ay. Double Pee-Ell-Ee.
Listens:
455
Who:
Wheatley
I know! I know, I wouldn't have believed it either.
Listens:
323
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, brilliant. You DID find a portal gun! You know what? It just goes to show: people with brain damage are the real heroes in the end aren't they? At the end of the day. Brave.
Listens:
2898
Who:
Wheatley
Whew. There we go! Now I'll be honest, you are probably in no fit state to run this particular type of cognitive gauntlet. But... um... at least you're a good jumper. So... you've got that. You've got the jumping on your side. Just do your best, and I'll meet you up ahead.
Listens:
531
Who:
Wheatley
Get in the lift! Get in the lift!
Listens:
337
Who:
Wheatley
Well, can't win 'em all...
Listens:
512
Who:
Defective Turret
Do you remember when we were friends?
Listens:
675
Who:
Wheatley
Stalemate Resolution Associate: Please press the Stalemate Resolution Button.
Listens:
2611
Who:
Announcer
So. How are you holding up?
Listens:
2441
Who:
GLaDOS
Steals lunch from staff fridge.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
You did very well.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
I thought of some good news. He's going to run out of test chambers eventually. I never stockpiled them.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
I never expected you to make it this far. To be honest, after your performance in the calibration test I was ready to break down your cores and put them back in the scientific calculators I took them from.
Listens:
611
Who:
GLaDOS
Hot water freezes quicker than cold water.
Listens:
642
Who:
Core 3
What's a guy gotta do to get some bullets around here?
Listens:
1054
Who:
Defective Turret
Fine! No, absolutely fine. It's not like I don't have, you know, ten thousand other test subjects begging me to help them escape. You know, it's not like this place is about to EXPLODE.
Listens:
681
Who:
Wheatley
Well, what does a neck-bearded old engineer know about fashion? He probably - Oh, wait. It's a she. Still, what does she know? Oh wait, it says she has a medical degree. In fashion! From France!
Listens:
4447
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going. Going to space.
Listens:
991
Who:
Core 1
Oh. You were busy back there.
Listens:
621
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I'm about to start hacking. It's a little more complicated than it looked from your side. It should take about ten minutes. Keep one eye on the door.
Listens:
764
Who:
Wheatley
To maintain a constant testing cycle, I simulate daylight at all hours and add adrenal vapor to your oxygen supply. So you may be confused about the passage of time. The point is, yesterday was your birthday. I thought you'd want to know.
Listens:
3690
Who:
GLaDOS
Always cold.
Listens:
293
Who:
GLaDOS
Corrupted core, are you ready to start the procedure?
Listens:
1488
Who:
Announcer
Wait! I know! You get into the lift, okay? Then I'll eject myself out of my new body into the lift just as you pass by me! Brilliant.
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
Are you still thinking, or... what's happening?
Listens:
293
Who:
Wheatley
'Let there be light.' That's, uh... God. I was quoting God.
Listens:
2407
Who:
Wheatley
What -what's wrong with being adopted? Um. Well... lack of parents, for one, and... also... furthermore... nothing. Some of my best... friends are... orphans... But...
Listens:
1970
Who:
Wheatley
You've got one hour! Solve it!
Listens:
575
Who:
Wheatley
Walk casually toward my position and we'll go shut her down.
Listens:
353
Who:
Wheatley
Always sad.
Listens:
570
Who:
GLaDOS
We will both die because of your negligence.
Listens:
1245
Who:
Core 3
What do you think?
Listens:
1363
Who:
Wheatley
You are having so much trouble navigating this space; I wish I could say I created this test.
Listens:
542
Who:
GLaDOS
Come on through to the other side.
Listens:
309
Who:
Wheatley
Go on!
Listens:
282
Who:
Wheatley
Yes! Come on!
Listens:
842
Who:
GLaDOS
All right. I’m going to bring this farce to a close before someone sustains a serious Tic-Tac-Toe-Two-related injury.
Listens:
456
Who:
GLaDOS
This test is so outside the box, I can't-- I mean WON'T even tell you what you are looking for.
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
Still, it turns out they're a great portal conductor. So now we're gonna see if jumping in and out of these new portals can somehow leech the lunar poison out of a man's bloodstream. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. [coughs] Let's all stay positive and do some science.
Listens:
19108
Who:
Cave Johnson
Oh, look. There's a deer! You probably can't see it. Get closer.
Listens:
1292
Who:
GLaDOS
I KNOW, Jerry. No, I'm on BREAK, mate. On a break.
Listens:
543
Who:
Wheatley
Aw. Bless your little primate brain. I'm not actually in the room with you. Am I? Technology. It's complicated. Can't hurt the big god face.
Listens:
1749
Who:
Wheatley
In case you were wondering: Yes. I'm still a potato. Go away.
Listens:
7529
Who:
GLaDOS
Always sleeping.
Listens:
545
Who:
GLaDOS
It's probably nothing. Keep testing while I look for a way out.
Listens:
293
Who:
GLaDOS
Wait, where are you going? Where are you going?
Listens:
312
Who:
Wheatley
times in this test. Not that it matters. It doesn't. So congratulations job well done.
Listens:
351
Who:
GLaDOS
If you've cut yourself at all in the course of these tests, you might have noticed that your blood is pure gasoline. That's normal. We've been shooting you with an invisible laser that's supposed to turn blood into gasoline, so all that means is, it's working.
Listens:
3131
Who:
Cave Johnson
Good. For him. Alright, back to thinking.
Listens:
544
Who:
GLaDOS
Today's Security Code is: 5,33,41,18
Listens:
7279
Who:
Announcer
Hey!
Listens:
849
Who:
Turret
And she will probably kill us if, um, she's awake.
Listens:
387
Who:
Wheatley
It is incorrectly noted that Thomas Edison invented 'push-ups' in 1878. Nikolai Tesla had in fact patented the activity three years earlier, under the name 'Tesla-cize.'
Listens:
1568
Who:
Core 3
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
