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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Your brains are too small to feel either of those emotions. So I can trust you one hundred percent.
Listens:
285
Who:
GLaDOS
Chews with mouth open.
Listens:
331
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah. I tell ya. Humans. Love 'em. Just... The way they look is great. And their... folklore. Wonderful isn't it? Very colorful...
Listens:
964
Who:
Wheatley
Finally! I had almost given up hope of ever testing again.
Listens:
461
Who:
GLaDOS
I probably wouldn't have let things get this far, but you go ahead and do things your way.
Listens:
815
Who:
Core 2
I consider that a failing, by the way.
Listens:
721
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue to be clear, I was asking if Orange trusted you.
Listens:
288
Who:
GLaDOS
Door?
Listens:
398
Who:
Wheatley
Hello!
Listens:
2815
Who:
Wheatley
All right. I’m going to bring this farce to a close before someone sustains a serious Tic-Tac-Toe-Two-related injury.
Listens:
474
Who:
GLaDOS
Horrible people skills.
Listens:
981
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue receives
Listens:
328
Who:
GLaDOS
While it may appear that I am only tracking your accomplishments using science collaboration points, the truth is every aspect of your performance will be reflected in your final score.
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
Failure...
Listens:
1710
Who:
Turret
You are making this harder than it needs to be.
Listens:
291
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere.
Listens:
834
Who:
Core 3
Hey, safe travels, there.
Listens:
394
Who:
Defective Turret
This next test may result in your death. If you want to know what that's like, think back to that time you killed me, and substitute yourself for me.
Listens:
725
Who:
GLaDOS
If cube- and button-based testing caused this emergency, don't worry. The odds of this happening twice are very slim.
Listens:
1501
Who:
Announcer
Enh!
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
And here I thought this room was dangerously unlethal.
Listens:
325
Who:
GLaDOS
Antisocial.
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
Just glass. Transparent. Smooth. Not going to hurt you. Have a look.
Listens:
350
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, how ya doin'?
Listens:
500
Who:
Defective Turret
So. If you've got any reservations whatsoever about this plan, now would be the time to voice them.
Listens:
366
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on! The neurotoxin levels are going down.
Listens:
363
Who:
Wheatley
If I stop watching, I'm sure you'll get bored of this.
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
The one you risked your life to get to. So you could escape certain death. No rush.
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
Man, that clock is moving fast. And you are beautiful. Always time to compliment a pretty lady. All right, back to work. Let's do this.
Listens:
749
Who:
Core 2
I'll give you a hint. Button. That's all I'm gonna say. One word. Button.
Listens:
437
Who:
Wheatley
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit. They are found in Australians.
Listens:
1041
Who:
Core 3
Go on. Just... March on through that hole.
Listens:
292
Who:
Wheatley
You two are going to LOVE this big surprise. In fact, you might say that you're both going to love it to death. Love it... until it kills you. Until you're dead.
Listens:
3532
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhhh, yes. Ohhhh. Well done.
Listens:
4501
Who:
Wheatley
AH!
Listens:
4243
Who:
Wheatley
Defective Turret testing active.
Listens:
968
Who:
Announcer
That eager voice you heard is the lovely Caroline, my assistant. Rest assured, she has transferred your honorarium to the charitable organization of your choice. Isn't that right, Caroline?
Listens:
1299
Who:
Cave Johnson
Grab it and attach it to him!
Listens:
333
Who:
GLaDOS
Apparently this human escaped and nobody's seen him since.
Listens:
328
Who:
Wheatley
Timid.
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
This is the neurotoxin generator. Bit bigger than I expected. Not going to be able to just, you know, push it over. Have to apply some cleverness.
Listens:
889
Who:
Wheatley
I lied.
Listens:
786
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyway, look, we're really close to busting out, just hang in there for five more chambers.
Listens:
298
Who:
Wheatley
Those people, in the portrait. They look so familiar...
Listens:
403
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, can you write down all the ways you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior?
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
Aggh, see, now I hit that one, I hit that one...
Listens:
317
Who:
Wheatley
Oh great, dancing again.
Listens:
814
Who:
GLaDOS
You win.
Listens:
1335
Who:
GLaDOS
Sleep mode activated
Listens:
6418
Who:
Turret
At the start of this course I was worried you were becoming too close but in my attempt to drive you apart I learned something important about trust and betrayal.
Listens:
312
Who:
GLaDOS
Wanna go to earth.
Listens:
1155
Who:
Core 1
It would compromise the test to divulge individual scores. However, I can tell you at least one of you is doing very, very well.
Listens:
381
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember that!
Listens:
1261
Who:
Turret
Seriously, though. Goodbye.
Listens:
2487
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Listens:
582
Who:
Defective Turret
Come on, stop muckin' around! Plug me in!
Listens:
297
Who:
Wheatley
Yay, Blue is back. Testing can continue.
Listens:
733
Who:
GLaDOS
Who said that?
Listens:
578
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah, that's right. Little bullseye.
Listens:
410
Who:
Defective Turret
Alright, you can turn around now!
Listens:
419
Who:
Wheatley
This next test involves emancipation grills. Remember? I told you about them in the last test area, that did not have one.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
Alternate core detected.
Listens:
1641
Who:
Announcer
In order to ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled.
Listens:
498
Who:
GLaDOS
Nobody cares, four eyes.
Listens:
1233
Who:
Core 2
Be honest. You can't even tell, can you? Seamless.
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
Back again? Maybe you can just stay and live here in the hub?
Listens:
317
Who:
GLaDOS
Sometimes testing has to occur outside the confines of the lab.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
We made it we made it we made it we made it...
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
Edmund Hillary, the first person to climb Mount Everest, did so accidentally while chasing a bird.
Listens:
1808
Who:
Core 3
Do you have a gun? Because I should really have a gun. What is that thing you're holding?
Listens:
585
Who:
Core 2
It'll be fine. Get in.
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center.
Listens:
5343
Who:
Announcer
Okay, great! Here comes another core!
Listens:
335
Who:
GLaDOS
Wait, what if this hurts? What if it REALLY hurts? Ohhh, I didn't think of that.
Listens:
1993
Who:
Wheatley
Crap.
Listens:
2559
Who:
Defective Turret
Fine, 500 point penalty for Orange.
Listens:
627
Who:
GLaDOS
So. Was there anything you wanted to apologize to ME for?
Listens:
357
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't see it though... Maybe it fell off. Do you want to go and have a quick look?
Listens:
340
Who:
Wheatley
Ow. I hate this bird.
Listens:
1991
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I'm in space!
Listens:
375304
Who:
Core 1
I spy with my little eye, something that starts with 'f'.
Listens:
453
Who:
Wheatley
Do you understand what I'm saying? Just tell me 'Yes'.
Listens:
318
Who:
Wheatley
The escape lift. Just there. Come on.
Listens:
375
Who:
Wheatley
Thank you - I can't believe I'm thanking these people - for staggering your way through Aperture Science's propulsion gel testing. You've made some real contributions to society for a change, and for that, humanity is grateful.
Listens:
1492
Who:
Cave Johnson
A bloody bird! Right? Couldn't believe it either. And then the bird--
Listens:
1201
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, brilliant. You DID find a portal gun! You know what? It just goes to show: people with brain damage are the real heroes in the end aren't they? At the end of the day. Brave.
Listens:
2909
Who:
Wheatley
Good shot!
Listens:
771
Who:
Turret
Nap time
Listens:
3412
Who:
Turret
Wait! I've got an idea!
Listens:
406
Who:
GLaDOS
After seeing what he's done to my facility -- after we take over again -- is it alright if I kill him?
Listens:
480
Who:
GLaDOS
Did anything happen while I was out?
Listens:
427
Who:
GLaDOS
Conversion gel. It's dripping out of that pipe there.
Listens:
374
Who:
GLaDOS
Please avoid alerting active turrets or being shot by active turrets.
Listens:
968
Who:
Announcer
Yeah! Nice!
Listens:
605
Who:
Core 2
clickclickclick
Listens:
6288
Who:
Defective Turret
Lacks confidence.
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
The average adult body contains half a pound of salt.
Listens:
596
Who:
Core 3
You never considered that maybe I tested you to give the endless hours of your pointless existence some structure and meaning. Maybe to help you concentrate, so just maybe you’d think of something more worthwhile to do with your sorry life.
Listens:
2531
Who:
GLaDOS
Warmer. Warrrrmer. Boiling hot. Boiling--okay, colder. Ice cold. Arctic. Very very very cold LOOK JUST GET ON THE BUTTON!
Listens:
728
Who:
Wheatley
The plural of surgeon general is surgeons general. The past tense of surgeons general is surgeonsed general.
Listens:
1376
Who:
Core 3
00:00 / 00:00
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