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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Ahungh. What was that? That was nothing! That was nothing!
Listens:
659
Who:
Wheatley
Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody's going to have to repair that too. No, don't get up. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
664
Who:
GLaDOS
I saw it. It was an accident.
Listens:
951
Who:
Turret
Powerup initiated.
Listens:
4823
Who:
Announcer
I'll tell ya, it's times like this I wish I had a waist so I could wear all my black belts. Yeah, I'm a black belt. In pretty much everything. Karate. Larate. Jiu Jitsu. Kick punching. Belt making. Taekwondo... Bedroom.
Listens:
17113
Who:
Core 2
Wait! I've got an idea!
Listens:
409
Who:
GLaDOS
'Skeletons.' Right, I guess I DID stockpile some tests.
Listens:
970
Who:
GLaDOS
Plug me into that stick on the wall over there. Yeah? And I'll show you something. You'll be impressed by this.
Listens:
347
Who:
Wheatley
I know you like to think the reassembly machine is at your beck and call, but he has a life you know. He's not your slave.
Listens:
381
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes it is! We can use it to get out of here!
Listens:
320
Who:
GLaDOS
Shake it off! Shake it off!
Listens:
528
Who:
Core 2
Well done! The Enrichment Center reminds you that although circumstances may appear bleak, you are not alone. All Aperture Science personality constructs will remain functional in apocalyptic, low power environments of as few as 1.1 volts.
Listens:
2343
Who:
Announcer
If cube- and button-based testing caused this emergency, don't worry. The odds of this happening twice are very slim.
Listens:
1524
Who:
Announcer
You can't give up now.
Listens:
309
Who:
GLaDOS
That will give you PLENTY of time to chat.
Listens:
371
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't think I'm not onto you too, lady. You know what you are? Selfish. I've done nothing but sacrifice to get us here! What have you sacrificed? NOTHING. Zero. All you've done is BOSS ME AROUND. Well, NOW who's the boss? Who's the boss? It's me!
Listens:
2647
Who:
Wheatley
And we're only seeing the top layer. It goes down for miles.
Listens:
335
Who:
Wheatley
These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other’s performance so far.
Listens:
459
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm sorry. The arrows seem to have rusted off. Good luck.
Listens:
1139
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh.
Listens:
409
Who:
Wheatley
Or maybe he still is, in which case, wow, that's kind of sad.
Listens:
1638
Who:
GLaDOS
I should congratulate you, by the way. I didn't actually think you'd make such a worthy opponent. Weren't you supposed to be brain damaged or something? yeah, brain damaged like a fox.
Listens:
1920
Who:
Wheatley
I thought we could test like we used to. But I'm discovering things about you that I never saw before. We can't ever go back to the way it was.
Listens:
6885
Who:
GLaDOS
Here, come and have a look out the window. It's good.
Listens:
318
Who:
Wheatley
Identify yourself or I will shoot.
Listens:
4225
Who:
Defective Turret
You know who ended up, do you know who ended up taking her down in the end? You're not going to believe this. A human.
Listens:
312
Who:
Wheatley
Jump! Actually, looking at it, that is quite a distance, isn't it?
Listens:
326
Who:
Wheatley
Have you worked out the one good trait humans have, yet?
Listens:
582
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you testing me?
Listens:
394
Who:
GLaDOS
Progress report: Haven't really made any in-roads!
Listens:
362
Who:
Wheatley
Paradoxes.
Listens:
938
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't mind me. Just moving the test chamber a little closer to me. Had a thought: Maybe proximity to the test solving might give us stronger results.
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
Please get it off me.
Listens:
552
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you know I discovered a way to eradicate poverty? But then you KILLED me. So that's gone.
Listens:
881
Who:
GLaDOS
In 1948, at the request of a dying boy, baseball legend Babe Ruth ate seventy-five hot dogs, then died of hot dog poisoning.
Listens:
1594
Who:
Core 3
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
458
Who:
Defective Turret
Space space space. Going. Going there. Okay. I love you, space.
Listens:
1456
Who:
Core 1
Oh! But when I DO test... ohhhhh, man alive! Nothing feels better. It's just... why I've gotta test, I've gotta test!
Listens:
1861
Who:
Wheatley
Jammed 'em all together. Buttons. Got funnels. Bottomless pits are involved. It's got it all, it's absolute dynamite.
Listens:
544
Who:
Wheatley
Yes. You're the tumor.
Listens:
957
Who:
GLaDOS
Space.
Listens:
103879
Who:
Core 1
Say goodbye, Caroline.
Listens:
5703
Who:
Cave Johnson
Had a bit of a brain wave. There I was, smashing some steel plates together, and I thought, 'yes, it's deadly. But what's missing? What's missing?' And I thought lots of sharp bits welded onto the flat bits.
Listens:
1993
Who:
Wheatley
This close and that's what you do?
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember when I told you that he was specifically designed to make bad decisions? Because I think he's decided not to maintain any of the crucial functions required to keep this facility from exploding.
Listens:
535
Who:
GLaDOS
This is just a thought experiment, just to see how much time you'll waste thinking about these worthless documents. The correct time is zero seconds.
Listens:
535
Who:
GLaDOS
She's bringing the whole place down! Hurry!
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
That's right. Drink it in. You could eat off those wall panels.
Listens:
384
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes Mr. Johnson
Listens:
1492
Who:
Caroline
Alright. Didn't go for that, I see. Knew I was lying. Point to you. But you still are inhaling neurotoxin. So, point deducted.
Listens:
323
Who:
Wheatley
And check this out! I'm a bloody genius now!
Listens:
717
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! It's going faster, which I was... not expecting.
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
I don't want this!
Listens:
19521
Who:
Caroline
Good.
Listens:
580
Who:
GLaDOS
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
964
Who:
GLaDOS
Participates unconstructively. Obviously a time-waster.
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
This is Tic-Tac-Toe-Two.
Listens:
906
Who:
GLaDOS
Pick--would you pick me up?
Listens:
315
Who:
Wheatley
Do NOT plug that little idiot into MY mainframe.
Listens:
1910
Who:
GLaDOS
Let go of me!
Listens:
460
Who:
Wheatley
Space!
Listens:
1349
Who:
Core 1
Orange, Blue and I were just discussing your behavior on the last few tests.
Listens:
325
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhhh. Another door malfunction. I'm going to take care of this once and for all. Stay here, I'll be back in a while.
Listens:
548
Who:
GLaDOS
This was another test no one had ever completed before you two. Oh, the science we used to learn with this test. Now the test is useless.
Listens:
357
Who:
GLaDOS
So... we're all supposed to be blind, then, right? It's not just me? Alright, fantastic.
Listens:
2275
Who:
Defective Turret
Hello!
Listens:
2851
Who:
Wheatley
Long bathroom breaks.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
This ain't Marquis of Queensberry Rules, sweetie! Pour on the mustard!
Listens:
599
Who:
Core 2
Give up? Also the floor. Was the answer that time. Same as before. Still on the floor.
Listens:
306
Who:
Wheatley
Wow.
Listens:
767
Who:
GLaDOS
Get mad!
Listens:
35096
Who:
Turret
I hate you so much.
Listens:
14105
Who:
GLaDOS
No, wait, wait!
Listens:
584
Who:
Defective Turret
Do not press that button!
Listens:
855
Who:
Wheatley
All reactor core safeguards are now non-functional. Please prepare for reactor core meltdown.
Listens:
9224
Who:
Announcer
If I stop watching, I'm sure you'll get bored of this.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome back quitters, maybe you can find another course for you to fail.
Listens:
609
Who:
GLaDOS
Locked and loaded!
Listens:
580
Who:
Defective Turret
Frequent mood swings.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
If you had underwear? And a butt? I would pull your underwear... right up your butt.
Listens:
26899
Who:
Core 2
Baking Soda Volcano. Well, at least it's not a potato battery, I'll give it that. Still not terrifically original, though. Not exactly primary research, even within the child sciences.
Listens:
1084
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry, what's going on over there? You know, I'm actually over here, still thinking really hard!
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
Avoid defective defective turrets as they may still be active.
Listens:
920
Who:
Announcer
Your eagerness to test pleases me. Your inane gesturing does not.
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
Substitute core, are you ready to start the procedure?
Listens:
1346
Who:
Announcer
You're going to hurt yourself doing that and then I will be ECSTATIC.
Listens:
871
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange receives
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
Your brains are too small to feel either of those emotions. So I can trust you one hundred percent.
Listens:
294
Who:
GLaDOS
That's not funny.
Listens:
1865
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what? Just get in the lift. We'll iron out the details as we go.
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Yes. Well done.
Listens:
1065
Who:
Wheatley
What -what's wrong with being adopted? Um. Well... lack of parents, for one, and... also... furthermore... nothing. Some of my best... friends are... orphans... But...
Listens:
2106
Who:
Wheatley
Wait! I know! You get into the lift, okay? Then I'll eject myself out of my new body into the lift just as you pass by me! Brilliant.
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
Try one of those childish gestures.
Listens:
479
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, it will. Believe me, it will.
Listens:
1818
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. New plan. Act natural. We've done NOTHING wrong.
Listens:
518
Who:
Wheatley
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
642
Who:
GLaDOS
Um.
Listens:
542
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
518
Who:
Defective Turret
Not entirely, not entirely. Look at the word 'test', on the wall there. That's brand new.
Listens:
405
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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