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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Hot water freezes quicker than cold water.
Listens:
625
Who:
Core 3
Howdy, stranger! We're back!
Listens:
860
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm telling 'em, keep your pants on.
Listens:
3577
Who:
Cave Johnson
Coming through!
Listens:
2024
Who:
Turret
Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen.
Listens:
2288
Who:
GLaDOS
You'll never believe what happened! There I was, just lying there, you thought I was done for, but --
Listens:
378
Who:
Wheatley
Is anyone there?
Listens:
7601
Who:
Turret
Surprise.
Listens:
6027
Who:
GLaDOS
In Greek myth, Prometheus stole fire from the Gods and gave it to humankind. The jewelry he kept for himself.
Listens:
3080
Who:
Core 3
Keep it up and you will lose 500 points.
Listens:
854
Who:
GLaDOS
I was able - well, forced really - to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever.
Listens:
781
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what? Go ahead and jump. You've got braces on your legs. No braces on your arms, though. Gonna have to rely on the old human strength to keep a grip on the device and, by extension, me. So do. Do make sure to maintain a grip.
Listens:
428
Who:
Wheatley
[disinterested] Ohhh, you solved it. Oh. Good. Good one... Good for you...
Listens:
571
Who:
Wheatley
He will most likely kill you, violently.
Listens:
1020
Who:
Core 3
Blue what did you do?
Listens:
342
Who:
GLaDOS
Aw. Bless your little primate brain. I'm not actually in the room with you. Am I? Technology. It's complicated. Can't hurt the big god face.
Listens:
1714
Who:
Wheatley
Go on, just turn right around. So you're not looking at me.
Listens:
284
Who:
Wheatley
We're back!
Listens:
2037
Who:
Defective Turret
Awwww, come on.
Listens:
1060
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey! It's me!
Listens:
1592
Who:
Turret
You really are doing great... Chell.
Listens:
42468
Who:
GLaDOS
This is Tic-Tac-Toe-Two.
Listens:
800
Who:
GLaDOS
QUICK: WHAT'S THE SITUATION? Oh, hey, hi pretty lady. My name's Rick. So, you out having a little adventure?
Listens:
7710
Who:
Core 2
The likelihood of you dying within the next five minutes is eighty-seven point six one percent.
Listens:
1571
Who:
Core 3
But why don't we all just agree to call it the hub?
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
Good news: that is NOT a docking station. So there's one mystery solved. I'm going to attempt a manual override on this wall. Could get a bit technical! Hold on!
Listens:
1172
Who:
Wheatley
Owwww!
Listens:
926
Who:
Turret
With humans, I would have called that a successful test.
Listens:
277
Who:
GLaDOS
I hope that was some kind of joke.
Listens:
414
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm done.
Listens:
1298
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange receives
Listens:
272
Who:
GLaDOS
Just go.
Listens:
3547
Who:
GLaDOS
QUICK: WHAT'S THE SITUATION? Oh, hello angel. I guess I must have died and gone to heaven. Name's Rick. So, you out having yourself a little adventure?
Listens:
3735
Who:
Core 2
Hold on! The neurotoxin levels are going down.
Listens:
325
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, listen, let me lay something on you here. It's pretty heavy. They told me NEVER NEVER EVER to disengage myself from my Management Rail. Or I would DIE. But we're out of options here. So... get ready to catch me, alright, on the off chance that I'm not dead the moment I pop off this thing.
Listens:
909
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, well, alright. Just do your idea and then come straight back.
Listens:
286
Who:
Wheatley
Good.
Listens:
553
Who:
GLaDOS
Just stop flailing around like an incompetent.
Listens:
1233
Who:
GLaDOS
For that Orange is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
590
Who:
GLaDOS
Still a work in progress, don't judge me yet. Eventually I'd like to get them to sort of shoot fire at you, moments before crushing you. That's what I'm aiming for. But you know, small steps.
Listens:
1439
Who:
Wheatley
You see that button over there? You just need to ARRRRRGH!
Listens:
592
Who:
Wheatley
No. Wait, did I do B? Do you have a pen? Start writing these down.
Listens:
411
Who:
Wheatley
Here it is. Why don't you just do it? Trust me, it's an easier way out than whatever asinine plan your friend came up with.
Listens:
4447
Who:
GLaDOS
You can't die in any of those ways.
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
Since it doesn't look like we're going anywhere... Well, we are going somewhere. Alarmingly fast, actually. But since we're not busy other than that, here's a couple of facts.
Listens:
714
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
704
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh come on... If it makes you feel any better, they abandoned you at birth, so I very seriously doubt they'd even want to see you.
Listens:
751
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahh!
Listens:
1404
Who:
Turret
As long as I don't listen to what I'm saying, I should be okay.
Listens:
279
Who:
GLaDOS
I have only met one other team closer and one of them was an imbecile I had to destroy.
Listens:
569
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations on completing the Aperture Science standard cooperative testing courses.
Listens:
465
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's see what the next test is. Oh. Advanced Aerial Faith Plates.
Listens:
398
Who:
GLaDOS
Probably best to ignore it, though. Just leave it be. We don't know where those panels it's cutting are going. Could be somewhere important.
Listens:
278
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, let me explain again. Pop a portal. Behind me. Alright? And come on through.
Listens:
279
Who:
Wheatley
I never liked her.
Listens:
877
Who:
Turret
The plural of surgeon general is surgeons general. The past tense of surgeons general is surgeonsed general.
Listens:
1297
Who:
Core 3
The situation you are in is very dangerous.
Listens:
2919
Who:
Core 3
Here, stand behind me. Yeah, just like that. Just like you're doing. Things are about to get real messy.
Listens:
652
Who:
Core 2
I just thought you find that interesting, most winners do.
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
So. Was there anything you wanted to apologize to ME for?
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
897
Who:
GLaDOS
Now, maybe you don't have any tumors. Well, don't worry. If you sat on a folding chair in the lobby and weren't wearing lead underpants, we took care of that too.
Listens:
2382
Who:
Cave Johnson
Okay, that's long enough. Are you dead yet? How about now?
Listens:
604
Who:
Wheatley
The Adventure Sphere is a blowhard and a coward.
Listens:
1091
Who:
Core 3
Well, enough about that first person's file. Let's look at some others.
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
To initiate a core transfer, please deposit substitute core in receptacle.
Listens:
1255
Who:
Announcer
Oh! Oh oh! Yes. Alright. Just had a brainwave. I'll be back. If you're still alive. I'll be back. Don't die until I get back.
Listens:
976
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry, are you still there? Could you--could you pick me up?
Listens:
1227
Who:
Wheatley
Even humans, as stupid as they are, would say you look stupid when you do that.
Listens:
598
Who:
GLaDOS
What, are you still alive? You are joking. You have got be kidding me. Well, I'm still in control. AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO FIX THIS PLACE.
Listens:
6176
Who:
Wheatley
Okay. Plan B, subsection one: Stand still so I can bring you back.
Listens:
605
Who:
GLaDOS
You're no longer bothering me. You're only hurting my impression of you.
Listens:
385
Who:
GLaDOS
Tell you what, here's a plan. Let's just both... continue contemplating... in absolute silence...
Listens:
318
Who:
Wheatley
A gallon of water weighs 8.34 pounds
Listens:
659
Who:
Core 3
Look out! I'm right behind you! No, of course I'm not. Saw through that too. Forty feet tall, right in front of you. Not my greatest ruse. To be honest. Still a giant robot, though.
Listens:
1184
Who:
Wheatley
And we're only seeing the top layer. It goes down for miles.
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
Pants were invented by sailors in the sixteenth century to avoid Poseidon's wrath. It was believed that the sight of naked sailors angered the sea god.
Listens:
2190
Who:
Core 3
Agh! Bird! Bird! Kill it! It's evil!
Listens:
37109
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't press that button. You don't know what you're doing.
Listens:
1684
Who:
GLaDOS
The bean counters told me we literally could not afford to buy seven dollars worth of moon rocks, much less seventy million. Bought 'em anyway. Ground 'em up, mixed em into a gel.
Listens:
18581
Who:
Cave Johnson
We're still doing science sir.
Listens:
1875
Who:
Caroline
You did very well.
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
You do know I can't wave back right?
Listens:
437
Who:
GLaDOS
In Victorian England, a commoner was not allowed to look directly at the Queen, due to a belief at the time that the poor had the ability to steal thoughts. Science now believes that less than 4% of poor people are able to do this.
Listens:
1997
Who:
Core 3
ow.
Listens:
602
Who:
GLaDOS
The answer is beneath us.
Listens:
2080
Who:
Turret
Antisocial.
Listens:
278
Who:
GLaDOS
That's where YOU come in.
Listens:
907
Who:
GLaDOS
Noooooo!
Listens:
1953
Who:
Turret
Humans must have some purpose other than a place to store your neurotoxin. Something I failed to notice before, an intangible quality that makes their test results... significant.
Listens:
1951
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahh. What?
Listens:
879
Who:
Wheatley
On ya go.
Listens:
279
Who:
Wheatley
Pick me up, don't forget to pick me up!
Listens:
304
Who:
Wheatley
As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers.
Listens:
1508
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Here's a good idea. You should definitely press that button.
Listens:
367
Who:
Wheatley
On the floor. Needing your help. The whole time. All the time. Needing your help.
Listens:
273
Who:
Wheatley
This time...
Listens:
532
Who:
Defective Turret
I love it too. There's just one small thing we need to take care of first.
Listens:
663
Who:
GLaDOS
Solve his puzzle for him. When he comes back, I'll hit him with a paradox.
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry. That just slipped out. A bit insensitive. Umm... The smelly humans...
Listens:
515
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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