Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
Fifty thousand years is a lot of time to think. About me. About you. We were doing so well together.
Listens:
785
Who:
GLaDOS
So twisty you might even call it spinning. MOO HOO HA HA HA Ignore the laughter. Nothing to worry about.
Listens:
1301
Who:
Wheatley
I might have pushed that moron thing a little too far this time.
Listens:
1100
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on. Just jam me in over there.
Listens:
321
Who:
Wheatley
Fact: Space does not exist.
Listens:
4236
Who:
Core 3
...unless a stalemate associate is present to press the stalemate resolution button.
Listens:
2464
Who:
Announcer
The likelihood of you dying violently within the next five minutes is eighty-seven point six one percent.
Listens:
1469
Who:
Core 3
Just as mementos, though...
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
Be a shame to miss it, wouldn't it? Just for the old neurotoxin. Neurotoxin will still be here tomorrow. Whereas that bird will be gone any minute. Already got one talon off the branch. Gonna be gone.
Listens:
645
Who:
Wheatley
Press it!
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
Your test times show you are going too slowly.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
Neurotoxin level at capacity in five minutes.
Listens:
4592
Who:
Announcer
SPAAACCCCCE!
Listens:
588002
Who:
Core 1
Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I'm sorry.
Listens:
779
Who:
GLaDOS
Now she'll argue. She'll say she can't. She's modest like that. But you make her.
Listens:
1878
Who:
Cave Johnson
Sorry.
Listens:
549
Who:
GLaDOS
I know your cores are reused from calculation machines, built for simple mathematical operations and not for testing, but if we can rescue the humans I promise you something to add maybe even subtract.
Listens:
552
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah! Still not working.
Listens:
748
Who:
Defective Turret
And to your right, something huge hurtling towards you OH GOD RUN! THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE.
Listens:
2785
Who:
Wheatley
Now I spy something that starts with an 'a'.
Listens:
353
Who:
Wheatley
Oh oh oh ohohohoh oh. Gotta go to space.
Listens:
1113
Who:
Core 1
Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
Listens:
628
Who:
GLaDOS
I think these test chambers look even better than they did before. It was easy, really. You just have to look at things objectively, see what you don't need anymore, and trim out the fat.
Listens:
3573
Who:
GLaDOS
Help me, space cops. Space cops, help.
Listens:
4013
Who:
Core 1
Federal regulations require me to warn you that this next test chamber... is looking pretty good.
Listens:
35124
Who:
GLaDOS
Excuse me?
Listens:
892
Who:
Turret
Orange what did you do?
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
Plug me in, plug me in!
Listens:
307
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry to interject again, but if you do NOT push the button the deadly neurotoxin emitters will come back online, at which point she will most likely fill you to brimming with neurotoxin. Not trying to rush you. Just throwing that out for leisurely digestion in your own time.
Listens:
943
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Squeaky-voice! How'd I do?
Listens:
963
Who:
Defective Turret
The engineers tried everything to make me... behave. To slow me down.
Listens:
905
Who:
GLaDOS
Pleased to meetcha.
Listens:
964
Who:
Defective Turret
Your ping tool can also be used to indicate to your partner where you would like them to place their portal.
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
I think we're in trouble.
Listens:
383
Who:
GLaDOS
Crap!
Listens:
1233
Who:
Defective Turret
Nooooo. No, I don't think it is. I think you're wrong.
Listens:
2158
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry I missed the beginning of that test. I was just talking with the reassembly machine about your becoming human.
Listens:
395
Who:
GLaDOS
You just keep testing and testing. With perfect results and no consequences.
Listens:
623
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations on completing that last test. But I find something troubling.
Listens:
294
Who:
GLaDOS
I love space. Love space.
Listens:
1046
Who:
Core 1
Still running. Alright. Looks tiring. Tell you what - you stop running and I'll stop bombing you... That seems fair.
Listens:
532
Who:
Wheatley
Ummmm. Yeah, I can't do it if you're watching.
Listens:
382
Who:
Wheatley
I thought we could test like we used to. But I'm discovering things about you that I never saw before. We can't ever go back to the way it was.
Listens:
6876
Who:
GLaDOS
Agggh! I'm on fire!
Listens:
7315
Who:
Defective Turret
You know what I hope's in space? Fire. I hope you go to space and catch on fire.
Listens:
5499
Who:
Core 2
Warning: Core corruption at 50 percent.
Listens:
8268
Who:
Announcer
Well done. Interesting note, I only created this test to watch test subjects fail and you didn't. You must be very, very proud. I'm building the world's smallest trophy for you.
Listens:
893
Who:
GLaDOS
Stalemate detected.
Listens:
4428
Who:
Announcer
This is one of MY tests!
Listens:
469
Who:
GLaDOS
Wet blanket.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
If you are alive, can you say something. Jump around so I know you are OK?
Listens:
380
Who:
Wheatley
Of course the humans only had one try at it, you can just keep trying.
Listens:
335
Who:
GLaDOS
Is that camera is hooked into the lock?
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
Let me give you a clue, it is the one thing you can't do.
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
HURRY! THIS WAY!
Listens:
358
Who:
Wheatley
Hello?
Listens:
10581
Who:
Turret
Hey! Pick me up!
Listens:
674
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, why did you do that to Orange?
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
Gotta go to space.
Listens:
906
Who:
Core 1
AH!
Listens:
565
Who:
Wheatley
Do you know who dances around like an imbecile when they accomplish the tiniest little thing?
Listens:
584
Who:
GLaDOS
I hope you brought something stronger than a portal gun this time.
Listens:
1283
Who:
GLaDOS
And of course nobody tells ME anything. Noooo. Why should they tell me anything?
Listens:
595
Who:
Wheatley
Excellent. The Enrichment Center reminds you that bold, persistent experimentation is the hallmark of good science.
Listens:
452
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?
Listens:
471
Who:
Defective Turret
Sounds crazy, I know. But hear me out. Once you get to my lair, death will not be optional. It will be mandatory. No tricks, no surprises: just you dying, as a result of me killing you in a very very gruesome way.
Listens:
1077
Who:
Wheatley
What are you doing in there?
Listens:
317
Who:
Wheatley
Finish it...
Listens:
383
Who:
Wheatley
She was provoking you.
Listens:
834
Who:
Turret
Hey hey! You made it!
Listens:
310
Who:
Wheatley
Hey lady. Lady.
Listens:
1058
Who:
Core 1
Hey, give 'em hell, sweetheart!
Listens:
870
Who:
Defective Turret
Earth earth earth.
Listens:
1078
Who:
Core 1
Great job, astronaut, war hero, and/or Olympian! With your help, we're gonna [tape cuts out]
Listens:
2041
Who:
Cave Johnson
If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.
Listens:
1595
Who:
Announcer
So sometimes there's still trash in them. Standing around. Smelling, and being useless.
Listens:
462
Who:
GLaDOS
Spinning thing. Hmmm. Not sure.
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
HA! I knew someone was alive in here.
Listens:
361
Who:
Wheatley
Come on, stop muckin' around! Plug me in!
Listens:
298
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, this ain't good.
Listens:
1089
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, down those stairs, please?
Listens:
334
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Here we go...
Listens:
1256
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah!
Listens:
5504
Who:
GLaDOS
'Let there be light.' That's, uh... God. I was quoting God.
Listens:
2546
Who:
Wheatley
There you are, reassembled again.
Listens:
312
Who:
GLaDOS
ow.
Listens:
539
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! It's going faster, which I was... not expecting.
Listens:
296
Who:
Wheatley
I'm pretty sure we're going the right way. Just to reassure you...
Listens:
297
Who:
Wheatley
I'm not defective!
Listens:
1425
Who:
Defective Turret
According to most advanced algorithms, the world's best name is Craig.
Listens:
4516
Who:
Core 3
Inattentive listener.
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, it's not nice to make fun of Orange like that.
Listens:
323
Who:
GLaDOS
This looks dangerous. I'll hold the light steady.
Listens:
332
Who:
Wheatley
This is the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center or SinTech.
Listens:
625
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't see a thing. What just happened? Better open fire! [click click click click] Dang!
Listens:
20937
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, listen, we should get our stories straight, alright? If anyone asks -- and no one's gonna ask, don't worry -- but if anyone asks, tell them as far as you know, the last time you checked, everyone looked pretty much alive. Alright? Not dead.
Listens:
1111
Who:
Wheatley
You know how I'm going to live forever, but you're going to be dead in sixty years? Well, I've been working on a belated birthday present for you. Well... more of a belated birthday medical procedure. Well. Technically, it's a medical EXPERIMENT. What's important is, it's a present.
Listens:
3055
Who:
GLaDOS
I spy with my little eye, something that starts with 'f'.
Listens:
457
Who:
Wheatley
Alright. He's not even trying to be subtle anymore.
Listens:
860
Who:
GLaDOS
How about a knife, then? You keep the gun, I'll use a knife.
Listens:
556
Who:
Core 2
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!