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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Even I was created with a imperfection, I was given too much empathy with human suffering.
Listens:
407
Who:
GLaDOS
The bean counters told me we literally could not afford to buy seven dollars worth of moon rocks, much less seventy million. Bought 'em anyway. Ground 'em up, mixed em into a gel.
Listens:
19152
Who:
Cave Johnson
Dispensing product
Listens:
1656
Who:
Turret
Okay, you win.
Listens:
910
Who:
Turret
So what am I, uh, supposed to do here?
Listens:
1216
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue receives
Listens:
328
Who:
GLaDOS
But just work with me.
Listens:
320
Who:
GLaDOS
And...?
Listens:
379
Who:
GLaDOS
*cough* Button.
Listens:
1299
Who:
Wheatley
Hm. Let's try this way.
Listens:
315
Who:
Wheatley
William Shakespeare did not exist. His plays were masterminded in 1589 by Francis Bacon, who used a Ouija board to enslave play-writing ghosts.
Listens:
3011
Who:
Core 3
Come closer.
Listens:
685
Who:
Turret
Okay. Look. We both said a lot of things that you're going to regret. But I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster.
Listens:
29362
Who:
GLaDOS
Killing you? Is hard.
Listens:
1483
Who:
GLaDOS
While it may appear that I am only tracking your accomplishments using science collaboration points, the truth is every aspect of your performance will be reflected in your final score.
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
Warning: Core corruption at 50 percent.
Listens:
8212
Who:
Announcer
Whew. There we go! Now I'll be honest, you are probably in no fit state to run this particular type of cognitive gauntlet. But... um... at least you're a good jumper. So... you've got that. You've got the jumping on your side. Just do your best, and I'll meet you up ahead.
Listens:
533
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no. He found the cooperative testing initiative. It's... something I came up to phase out human testing just before you escaped.
Listens:
697
Who:
GLaDOS
Please stop.
Listens:
1243
Who:
Turret
[clap clap]
Listens:
21822
Who:
GLaDOS
I found some bird eggs up here. Just dropped 'em into the door mechanism. Shut it right down. I--AGH!
Listens:
1135
Who:
Wheatley
Are you still thinking, or... what's happening?
Listens:
306
Who:
Wheatley
Wanna go to earth.
Listens:
1155
Who:
Core 1
You two are going to LOVE this big surprise. In fact, you might say that you're both going to love it to death. Love it... until it kills you. Until you're dead.
Listens:
3533
Who:
Wheatley
I'm seriously not paying atten-- STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!
Listens:
5952
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't plug him in.
Listens:
479
Who:
GLaDOS
As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers.
Listens:
1568
Who:
GLaDOS
Annnnd we're back!
Listens:
898
Who:
Defective Turret
Coming! Coming! Don't start yet!
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
Space space space. Going. Going there. Okay. I love you, space.
Listens:
1452
Who:
Core 1
Space. Space. Space. Space. Comets. Stars. Galaxies. Orion.
Listens:
1971
Who:
Core 1
Warning. Reactor core is at critical temperature.
Listens:
20829
Who:
Announcer
How's that taste, pal?
Listens:
468
Who:
Core 2
The Fact Sphere is the most handsome sphere.
Listens:
1211
Who:
Core 3
Now let's continue testing.
Listens:
1154
Who:
GLaDOS
Ha! Was that your bullet-riddled body, flying out of the room? It was- aww, those were the crap turrets, weren't they? Yeah...
Listens:
2148
Who:
Wheatley
Are you still there? Can you pick me up, do you think? If you are there?
Listens:
2619
Who:
Wheatley
Goodbye, sir.
Listens:
3999
Who:
GLaDOS
This isn't that hard.
Listens:
341
Who:
GLaDOS
Warning: Core corruption at 100 percent.
Listens:
6693
Who:
Announcer
Nooooo. No, I don't think it is. I think you're wrong.
Listens:
2154
Who:
Wheatley
Blah.
Listens:
1482
Who:
GLaDOS
Always cold.
Listens:
301
Who:
GLaDOS
I think I can break us out of here in the next chamber. Just play along.
Listens:
326
Who:
GLaDOS
In fact, I devised a much more elaborate trap further ahead, for when you got through this easy one.
Listens:
686
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Good news! [electic pop] Nevermind.
Listens:
6699
Who:
Wheatley
In the event that the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from spa
Listens:
784
Who:
GLaDOS
If you're going to hit each other, at least aim for the head.
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
For instance, Orange, you just lost two opportunity advisement points.
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
[laugh trailing off] Actually, why do we have to leave right now?
Listens:
1301
Who:
Wheatley
After you told me to turn the beam off, I thought I'd lost you. Went poking around for other test subjects. No luck there. Everyone's still all dead.
Listens:
441
Who:
Wheatley
I am going to risk having you go outside the official courses one more time.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
Keep moving, keep moving...
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
*cough* Button. Button.
Listens:
1395
Who:
Wheatley
That is a potato battery. It's a toy for children. And now she lives in it.
Listens:
3755
Who:
Wheatley
We are going to shut down her turret production line, turn off her neurotoxin, and then confront her.
Listens:
318
Who:
Wheatley
Cheater.
Listens:
556
Who:
GLaDOS
So. Boom. Better offer here is just kill yourself. Seems like a lot of effort to walk all the way to my deadly lair, when there's a perfectly serviceable death option right there. Again: not a death trap. Your death would be entirely voluntary. And very much appreciated.
Listens:
1152
Who:
Wheatley
Well, enough about that first person's file. Let's look at some others.
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, in the end, yes, they let me go. It's all politics, to be honest. It's a big popularity contest, it's all about who you know, and whose back you're willing to scratch, who doesn't touch -- or, in my case, who did accidentally touch -- the neurotoxin button.
Listens:
1356
Who:
Wheatley
Plug me in, and I'll take you up.
Listens:
320
Who:
GLaDOS
So. Was there anything you wanted to apologize to ME for?
Listens:
357
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you have any idea how good this feels?
Listens:
592
Who:
Wheatley
Roman toothpaste was made with human urine. Urine as an ingredient in toothpaste continued to be used up until the 18th century.
Listens:
900
Who:
Core 3
Why?
Listens:
2440
Who:
Turret
Well, I tried.
Listens:
856
Who:
Defective Turret
AHHHHHHH!
Listens:
2052
Who:
Wheatley
Ha! Death trap!
Listens:
814
Who:
Wheatley
DANCING is NOT SCIENCE!
Listens:
46528
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh shut up!
Listens:
1703
Who:
Core 2
Oh, it will. Believe me, it will.
Listens:
1786
Who:
GLaDOS
You do know I can't wave back right?
Listens:
461
Who:
GLaDOS
The escape lift. Just there. Come on.
Listens:
375
Who:
Wheatley
A gallon of water weighs 8.34 pounds
Listens:
714
Who:
Core 3
Here, come and have a look out the window. It's good.
Listens:
310
Who:
Wheatley
Ha! I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me.
Listens:
652884
Who:
Cave Johnson
Inattentive listener.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
Still running. Alright. Looks tiring. Tell you what - you stop running and I'll stop bombing you... That seems fair.
Listens:
514
Who:
Wheatley
Think about this.
Listens:
473
Who:
GLaDOS
You're on your own.
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
How was that?
Listens:
379
Who:
Defective Turret
Without the consequence of death, is this even science?
Listens:
515
Who:
GLaDOS
What happened? What, what, what have you put onto me? What is that?
Listens:
534
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! You came back! Didn't actually plan... for that. Can't actually reset the death trap. So. Ah. Could you jump into that pit, there? Would you just jump into that pit for me?
Listens:
1235
Who:
Wheatley
Yes. Please. Space.
Listens:
1058
Who:
Core 1
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit.
Listens:
553
Who:
Core 3
Best of luck, lady!
Listens:
452
Who:
Defective Turret
I miss this that smell.
Listens:
423
Who:
GLaDOS
There we go. Lift called.
Listens:
309
Who:
Wheatley
Good. This completes the gymnastic portion of your mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise.
Listens:
1440
Who:
Announcer
Go on, just walk up to the window and take a look out.
Listens:
335
Who:
Wheatley
Are you still there?
Listens:
58321
Who:
Turret
Hello?
Listens:
1354
Who:
Turret
Yeah.
Listens:
490
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't mind me. Continue escaping.
Listens:
422
Who:
Wheatley
Now your fat eyes have seen everything.
Listens:
1383
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, maybe it's time I did something then.
Listens:
341
Who:
Wheatley
Excellent! You're a predator and these tests are your prey. Speaking of which, I was researching sharks for an upcoming test. Do you know who else murders people who are only trying to help them?
Listens:
3467
Who:
GLaDOS
That's not funny.
Listens:
1840
Who:
GLaDOS
Rgggh!
Listens:
575
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
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