Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
Help me, space cops. Space cops, help.
Listens:
4039
Who:
Core 1
Oh no, don't. Anyway, back to you two imbeciles killing me.
Listens:
903
Who:
GLaDOS
Good news. I figured out what to do with all the money I save recycling your one roomful of air. When you die, I'm going to laminate your skeleton and pose you in the lobby. That way future generations can learn from you how not to have your unfortunate bone structure.
Listens:
1534
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember when I told you that you were the only subjects to pass the calibration tests?
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh thank god. You saved my bacon, pal. Where we going? Is this a jailbreak? I can't see a thing.
Listens:
6855
Who:
Defective Turret
Wait. Just thought of something? How am I going to get in? You know, being bloody massive and everything.
Listens:
324
Who:
Wheatley
This is trouble.
Listens:
953
Who:
Defective Turret
Yes!
Listens:
1169
Who:
GLaDOS
You see that button over there? You just need to ARRRRRGH!
Listens:
638
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Hey! It's me! I'm okay!
Listens:
508
Who:
Wheatley
Woooo! I KNEW this would be fun. They told me it wasn't fun at all, and I BELIEVED 'em! Ah! I'm loving this! Whale of a time...
Listens:
726
Who:
Wheatley
Egotistical.
Listens:
351
Who:
GLaDOS
Human tapeworms can grow up to twenty-two point nine meters.
Listens:
673
Who:
Core 3
We're still doing science sir.
Listens:
1959
Who:
Caroline
Agggh...
Listens:
502
Who:
Defective Turret
I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science.
Listens:
793
Who:
GLaDOS
'Caw! Caw!' Oh, look! There's a bird out here! A Lovely bird. Gorgeous plumage. Majestic. Won't be here long. A lovely bird like that. Once in a lifetime opportunity to see a lovely bird like that. Lovely plumage.
Listens:
4260
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh, the Sun. I'm gonna meet the Sun. Oh no! What'll I say? 'Hi! Hi, Sun!' Oh, boy!
Listens:
3473
Who:
Core 1
It's alright! Everything's good. I just invented some more tests!
Listens:
355
Who:
Wheatley
Quick, this way!
Listens:
308
Who:
Wheatley
But why don't we all just agree to call it the hub?
Listens:
424
Who:
GLaDOS
times in this test. Not that it matters. It doesn't. So congratulations job well done.
Listens:
369
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. For him. Alright, back to thinking.
Listens:
562
Who:
GLaDOS
Hi there!
Listens:
2160
Who:
Defective Turret
Don't shoot!
Listens:
2539
Who:
Turret
I miss this that smell.
Listens:
430
Who:
GLaDOS
The surge of emotion that shot through me when I saved your life taught me an even more valuable lesson: where Caroline lives in my brain.
Listens:
1359
Who:
GLaDOS
Where do I get my gun?
Listens:
779
Who:
Defective Turret
We are only two tests away from reaching the humans, are you as excited as I am?
Listens:
293
Who:
GLaDOS
And guess what? Ground up moon rocks are pure poison. I am deathly ill.
Listens:
6599
Who:
Cave Johnson
Breathes with mouth open.
Listens:
320
Who:
GLaDOS
Though it does give me an idea: WHAT if we stand here and let the gentle hum of the laser transport us to a state of absolute relaxation. Might help us think of a way to open the door.
Listens:
361
Who:
Wheatley
Come on, you've already solved it once. Less than a minute ago you solved this puzzle. Do it again, please.
Listens:
904
Who:
Wheatley
Do you give up? It was the floor. Lying down on the floor. Is where I am. Needing you to pick me up.
Listens:
329
Who:
Wheatley
Did you hear that? I think something just exploded. Man, we are in a lot of danger. This is like Christmas. No, it's better than Christmas. This should be its own holiday. Explosion Day!
Listens:
2379
Who:
Core 2
It's like you're just machines.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
Two. One or two more tremors in there. Just for fun.
Listens:
387
Who:
Wheatley
'Goodbye, Caroline.'
Listens:
24379
Who:
Caroline
Oh!
Listens:
1364
Who:
Turret
Okay. New plan. Act natural. We've done NOTHING wrong.
Listens:
521
Who:
Wheatley
Go on. Just jam me in over there.
Listens:
329
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh. Almost got you there. Almost got ya there!
Listens:
445
Who:
Wheatley
No. Makes it go faster.
Listens:
327
Who:
Wheatley
Did you notice I didn't even stay to the end of your last test?
Listens:
316
Who:
GLaDOS
Please continue into the next test chamber.
Listens:
423
Who:
GLaDOS
Avoids responsibility.
Listens:
335
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
763
Who:
Wheatley
Your failing gives me no new data, it just delays the inevitable.
Listens:
357
Who:
GLaDOS
This is just getting embarrassing.
Listens:
1669
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh my god. What has he done to this place?
Listens:
1612
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, I've just gotta concentrate!
Listens:
343
Who:
Wheatley
Begin juggling test in three. Two. One.
Listens:
854
Who:
GLaDOS
I've been doing some reading. Did you know that the word orange is derived from the same Latin root as the word traitor?
Listens:
582
Who:
GLaDOS
I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
Listens:
964
Who:
GLaDOS
That's why humans couldn't complete these courses, they treat their friends as enemies.
Listens:
387
Who:
GLaDOS
I love space.
Listens:
1049
Who:
Core 1
Oh! It's going faster, which I was... not expecting.
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
Is anyone there?
Listens:
7781
Who:
Turret
What are you doing?
Listens:
1085
Who:
Turret
And...?
Listens:
393
Who:
GLaDOS
This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
Listens:
552
Who:
GLaDOS
DO press it.
Listens:
356
Who:
GLaDOS
The irony is that you were almost at the last test.
Listens:
529
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no...
Listens:
427
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! It's me!
Listens:
1633
Who:
Turret
Response
Listens:
2877
Who:
Announcer
RUN! Come on! I'm closing the doors!
Listens:
396
Who:
Wheatley
Helloooooooooooo!
Listens:
2367
Who:
Wheatley
I'll just move that out of the way for you. This place really is a wreck.
Listens:
364
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you have any idea how good this feels?
Listens:
610
Who:
Wheatley
Going to space.
Listens:
1038
Who:
Core 1
Estás usando este software de traducción de forma incorrecta. Por favor, consulta el manual.
Listens:
7558
Who:
Wheatley
Do you understand what I'm saying? Just tell me 'Yes'.
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
I found two little robots back here. Built specifically for testin'!
Listens:
400
Who:
Wheatley
Yes sir, Mister Johnson.
Listens:
1646
Who:
Caroline
Orange what did you do?
Listens:
394
Who:
GLaDOS
In just a moment, the word 'blah' will be repeated over and over again. If at some point you hear a number rather than the word 'blah', ignore it, it is not important.
Listens:
1931
Who:
GLaDOS
That's where YOU come in.
Listens:
957
Who:
GLaDOS
My fault
Listens:
1301
Who:
Turret
Miss you!
Listens:
784
Who:
GLaDOS
The automobile brake was not invented until 1895. Before this, someone had to remain in the car at all times, driving in circles until passengers returned from their errands.
Listens:
1111
Who:
Core 3
Not so fast!
Listens:
612
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. Disappointing.
Listens:
1184
Who:
Wheatley
I hardly think you're even trying with these gestures anymore.
Listens:
381
Who:
GLaDOS
I know your cores are reused from calculation machines, built for simple mathematical operations and not for testing, but if we can rescue the humans I promise you something to add maybe even subtract.
Listens:
562
Who:
GLaDOS
Take me with you...
Listens:
1249
Who:
Turret
If you can get me in front of him, I'll fry every circuit in that little idiot's head.
Listens:
480
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test applies the principles of momentum to movement through portals. If the laws of physics no longer apply in the future, God help you.
Listens:
4088
Who:
Announcer
While I cannot control the world outside of the testing courses, the reassembly machine can continue with his work.
Listens:
309
Who:
GLaDOS
A, A, A, A, A, A. [NNNT!] No. A, A, A, A, A, B. [NNNT!] Hold on, I've done both of these. Skip ahead. A, B, C... D, G, H.[DING!]
Listens:
176034
Who:
Wheatley
All reactor core safeguards are now non-functional. Please prepare for reactor core meltdown.
Listens:
9362
Who:
Announcer
ow.
Listens:
738
Who:
GLaDOS
By completing all test courses, you have achieved Level C security clearance. You may now access all testing courses and three of Aperture Science's 176 restrooms.
Listens:
1368
Who:
Announcer
Did something happen? [yawn] I wasn't watching.
Listens:
563
Who:
GLaDOS
Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's going to burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm going to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
Listens:
154774
Who:
Cave Johnson
Blue, being the last one standing is not the goal.
Listens:
393
Who:
GLaDOS
Ummmm. Yeah, I can't do it if you're watching.
Listens:
382
Who:
Wheatley
Please return to the core transfer bay.
Listens:
1469
Who:
Announcer
Preparing to love this... don't want to build it up too much... but I think this one's going to be good, I can tell...
Listens:
474
Who:
Wheatley
Don't worry I'm absolutely guaranteeing you 100 percent that it's this way... Oh it's not this way.
Listens:
729
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
