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And what else is down there... Tell you what, it's only a new jumpsuit. A very trendy designer jumpsuit from France. Down there. Which is exactly your size. And if it's a bit baggy, we got a tailor down there as well who can take it in for you
Listens:
783
Who:
Wheatley
But why don't we all just agree to call it the hub?
Listens:
347
Who:
GLaDOS
Weak, tired and apprehensive. Wow, this one's the total package.
Listens:
499
Who:
GLaDOS
The upcoming tests require you to work together as a team.
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't take anything with you.
Listens:
372
Who:
GLaDOS
Unconstructive.
Listens:
268
Who:
GLaDOS
Undelete, undelete! Where's the undelete button?
Listens:
2581
Who:
Wheatley
PART FIVE! BOOBYTRAP THE STALEMATE BUTTON!
Listens:
6331
Who:
Wheatley
Hmm. This Plate must not be calibrated to someone of your... generous... ness. I'll add a few zeros to the maximum weight.
Listens:
53333
Who:
GLaDOS
You have been a thorn in my side long enough!
Listens:
752
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Sorry. The lift. Sorry. I keep forgetting.
Listens:
444
Who:
Wheatley
Are you alright?
Listens:
272
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no, don't. Anyway, back to you two imbeciles killing me.
Listens:
827
Who:
GLaDOS
Waitwaitwait. Ohhhh. Not helpful. Rrrrrg. Don't know why I thought that would help.
Listens:
1160
Who:
Wheatley
Cheater.
Listens:
504
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't shoot!
Listens:
2473
Who:
Turret
If you think trapping yourself is going to make me stop testing, you're sorely mistaken. Here's another cube.
Listens:
1136
Who:
GLaDOS
Now let's continue testing.
Listens:
1100
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahungh. What was that? That was nothing! That was nothing!
Listens:
583
Who:
Wheatley
Bam! Bam bam bam! Take that, space.
Listens:
4094
Who:
Core 1
NO.
Listens:
2014
Who:
GLaDOS
Stalemate detected. Transfer procedure cannot continue.
Listens:
2498
Who:
Announcer
MOVE.
Listens:
463
Who:
Wheatley
Why should I be kept informed about the life functions of the ten thousand bloody test subjects I'm supposed to be in charge of?
Listens:
409
Who:
Wheatley
We have to split up here for a moment. Portal up to that passage and I'll see you on the other side.
Listens:
272
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on, [click click click] Ah, the bloody bombs are stuck on. Doesn't matter - I've reconfigured the shields.
Listens:
1020
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I'm gonna lay my cards on the table: I don't wanna do it. I don't want to go in there. Don't... Don't go in there - She's off. She's off! Panic over! She's off. All fine! On we go.
Listens:
543
Who:
Wheatley
Here she comes! Just play along! RememberFifteenChambers!
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
What's going on? Who turned off the lights?
Listens:
609
Who:
GLaDOS
Here, stand behind me. Yeah, just like that. Just like you're doing. Things are about to get real messy.
Listens:
647
Who:
Core 2
Not a problem. I'll make an exit.
Listens:
310
Who:
Wheatley
You're angry. I know it. 'She’s tested me too hard.' Boo hoo. I don't suppose you ever stopped whining long enough to reflect on your own shortcomings, though, did you?
Listens:
5234
Who:
GLaDOS
All reactor core safeguards are now non-functional. Please prepare for reactor core meltdown.
Listens:
7680
Who:
Announcer
You have a gift for these tests. That’s not just flattery. You are great at science.
Listens:
839
Who:
GLaDOS
HA! I knew someone was alive in here.
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
There must be something wrong with the reassembly machine.
Listens:
1154
Who:
GLaDOS
Yeah yeah yeah okay okay.
Listens:
3932
Who:
Core 1
Remember when I first told you how to find that little portal thing you love so much? Thought you'd die on the way, if I'm honest. All the others did.
Listens:
590
Who:
Wheatley
Blah.
Listens:
1573
Who:
GLaDOS
Warning: Core corruption at 75 percent.
Listens:
4907
Who:
Announcer
Did anything happen while I was out?
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
Pshh. Really? And do what, exactly?
Listens:
588
Who:
Wheatley
Try it now.
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
Space.
Listens:
1014
Who:
Core 1
A gallon of water weighs 8.34 pounds
Listens:
648
Who:
Core 3
This is AMAZING! We can walk wherever we want! Look, just... go left! No, go right, go right! Don't even care, don't even care, just go where ever you want, couldn't care less.
Listens:
403
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Moron!
Listens:
23543
Who:
GLaDOS
Woah! Where are we? How long have I been out?
Listens:
601
Who:
GLaDOS
So he's inexplicably happy all of a sudden, even though he should be going out of his mind with test withdrawal. AND he's got a surprise for us. What did he FIND back there?
Listens:
669
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes, I know you did that, Blue. Don't look so proud.
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
Come on! Over here! This way!
Listens:
270
Who:
Wheatley
She’s probably okay.
Listens:
694
Who:
Turret
Caroline deleted.
Listens:
21399
Who:
Announcer
I have only met one other team closer and one of them was an imbecile I had to destroy.
Listens:
563
Who:
GLaDOS
Paradoxes.
Listens:
896
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, careful now.
Listens:
269
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, DON'T PANIC! I can still stop it, not a problem. There's a password! I'll just hack it. Here we go.
Listens:
945
Who:
Wheatley
I can't move, though. That's the problem now.
Listens:
881
Who:
Wheatley
Oh.
Listens:
525
Who:
Defective Turret
Well, you bested me this time.
Listens:
392
Who:
Defective Turret
The testing area's just up ahead. The quicker you get through, the quicker you'll get your sixty bucks.
Listens:
974
Who:
Cave Johnson
Come on, you've already solved it.
Listens:
613
Who:
Wheatley
All right, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons? Don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! 'I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?'
Listens:
123792
Who:
Cave Johnson
Aw... hates Mondays.
Listens:
1571
Who:
GLaDOS
Hibernating
Listens:
861
Who:
Turret
Long bathroom breaks.
Listens:
331
Who:
GLaDOS
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
2738
Who:
GLaDOS
Completing this course was not a reason to behave like that.
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
While I was out investigating, I found a fascinating new test element. It's never been used for human testing because, apparently, contact with it causes heart failure. The literature doesn't mention anything about lump-of-coal failure, though, so you should be fine.
Listens:
965
Who:
GLaDOS
You need to be a trained stalemate associate to press that button. You're unqualified.
Listens:
1036
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Yes. Well done.
Listens:
936
Who:
Wheatley
Would you mind putting your back towards me? So I can see only your back. And not your face.
Listens:
266
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, wait, let me light this path for you.
Listens:
269
Who:
Wheatley
Wait. Careful. Let me light this jump for you
Listens:
290
Who:
Wheatley
Wet blanket.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
Enjoy this next test. I'm going to go to the surface. It's a beautiful day out. Yesterday I saw a deer. If you solve this next test, maybe I'll let you ride an elevator all the way up to the break room, and I'll tell you about the time I saw a deer again.
Listens:
3828
Who:
GLaDOS
Frequent mood swings.
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-DUN! DUN DUN! Dunna-dunna-na-dunna-na-DUN! DUN DUN! nananaDUNDUNDUN dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun...
Listens:
4234
Who:
Core 2
Alright. Paradox time.
Listens:
1202
Who:
GLaDOS
Enh!
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, doubt it.
Listens:
377
Who:
Wheatley
We're still doing science sir.
Listens:
3063
Who:
Caroline
That isn't science.
Listens:
2578
Who:
GLaDOS
Hot water freezes quicker than cold water.
Listens:
619
Who:
Core 3
You both made it. It seems no matter what I try to do to pull you apart or destroy you, you just keep going. Keep testing.
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
All right. You create a distraction then, and I'll distract him from YOUR distraction.
Listens:
413
Who:
Core 2
You're just delaying the inevitable. You cannot run from my bombs forever. Well, you can if I keep aiming them poorly. But I'll get better as we go, and you'll just get tired.
Listens:
849
Who:
Wheatley
Wait. Just thought of something? How am I going to get in? You know, being bloody massive and everything.
Listens:
299
Who:
Wheatley
Excellent. The Enrichment Center reminds you that bold, persistent experimentation is the hallmark of good science.
Listens:
414
Who:
GLaDOS
Nonononononono!
Listens:
6826
Who:
Defective Turret
The Enrichment Center respects your right to have questions or concerns about this policy.
Listens:
320
Who:
GLaDOS
QUICK: WHAT'S THE SITUATION? Oh, hello angel. I guess I must have died and gone to heaven. Name's Rick. So, you out having yourself a little adventure?
Listens:
3723
Who:
Core 2
Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center.
Listens:
8629
Who:
GLaDOS
...What are you doing?...
Listens:
1237
Who:
GLaDOS
Nope. Still can't see.
Listens:
732
Who:
Defective Turret
GAAAA!
Listens:
1410
Who:
Wheatley
The answer is beneath us.
Listens:
2069
Who:
Turret
Hold on, something's wrong! Neurotoxin level's up to 50%! No, it's down. Sorry, my mistake. I meant to say it's down to fifty percent. Good news! Carry on!
Listens:
516
Who:
Wheatley
Per our last conversation: You're also ugly. I'm looking at your file right now, and it mentions that more than once.
Listens:
1241
Who:
GLaDOS
It wasn't anything personal. Just... you know. You DID kill me. Fair's fair.
Listens:
481
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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