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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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One of my best tests and they let plants grow here? Can you believe this? You can't test plants! We tried. They just sit there, never showing pain nor fear.
Listens:
1594
Who:
GLaDOS
Not getting better with age!
Listens:
478
Who:
Defective Turret
This is not good.
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't plug him in.
Listens:
399
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, do you feel betrayed by Blue for telling me those horrible things about you?
Listens:
313
Who:
GLaDOS
All reactor core safeguards are now non-functional. Please prepare for reactor core meltdown.
Listens:
7831
Who:
Announcer
Oh no, I'm one of the bad ones, aren't I?
Listens:
1075
Who:
Defective Turret
What are you doing no no no no no!
Listens:
1024
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh thank god. You saved my bacon, pal. Where we going? Is this a jailbreak? I can't see a thing.
Listens:
6696
Who:
Defective Turret
Okay, go on, just pull that turret out.
Listens:
276
Who:
Wheatley
Come to gloat?
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. Now please return to your bed.
Listens:
1594
Who:
Announcer
Did you ever stop to think that eventually there’s a point where your name gets mentioned for the very last time. Well, here it is: I’m going to kill you, Chell.
Listens:
108256
Who:
GLaDOS
DO press it.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
SHUT UP!
Listens:
18423
Who:
Wheatley
Ugh!
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
You've probably figured it out by now, but I don't need you anymore.
Listens:
282
Who:
Wheatley
Have you got any ideas?
Listens:
272
Who:
Wheatley
I thought we fixed that.
Listens:
975
Who:
Defective Turret
At the start of this course I was worried you were becoming too close but in my attempt to drive you apart I learned something important about trust and betrayal.
Listens:
276
Who:
GLaDOS
You ever notice how nobody stops what they're doing to listen? We don't care.
Listens:
540
Who:
Core 2
Follow me! You're gonna love this.
Listens:
372
Who:
Wheatley
We're still doing science sir.
Listens:
1875
Who:
Caroline
Ow!
Listens:
358
Who:
Wheatley
Undermines others.
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
To get to the Vault, you are going to need to use all the tricks you have learned. To help, I have made these tests extremely difficult.
Listens:
426
Who:
GLaDOS
While I should have left both of you trapped there forever, I do need you for something else.
Listens:
272
Who:
GLaDOS
We should be getting close. Ohh, I can't wait to see the look on her face. No neurotoxin, no turrets--she'll never know what hit her!
Listens:
387
Who:
Wheatley
This door's actually pretty complicated.
Listens:
272
Who:
Wheatley
Come on. Ohhhh. Hit me with it.
Listens:
588
Who:
Wheatley
Waddle over to the elevator and we'll continue the testing.
Listens:
821
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll just move that out of the way for you. This place really is a wreck.
Listens:
290
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no, don't. Anyway, back to you two imbeciles killing me.
Listens:
830
Who:
GLaDOS
Enough! I told you not to put these cores on me. But you don't listen, do you? Quiet. All the time. Quietly not listening to a word I say. Judging me. Silently. The worst kind.
Listens:
1376
Who:
Wheatley
Hello.
Listens:
2860
Who:
Defective Turret
Pff. Whatever.
Listens:
550
Who:
Core 2
Whoa!
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center.
Listens:
813
Who:
GLaDOS
You asked for this!
Listens:
367
Who:
Defective Turret
Jump! Actually, looking at it, that is quite a distance, isn't it?
Listens:
282
Who:
Wheatley
Hello? Can you--can you pick me up, please?
Listens:
1437
Who:
Wheatley
Here's the plan: Get him to say, 'You two have been a thorn in my side long enough.' Then tell your pretty ears to stand back, because I am going to zing him into the stone age.
Listens:
556
Who:
Core 2
No! I'm not listening! I'm not listening!
Listens:
611
Who:
Wheatley
Going for it yourself, huh? All right, angel. I'll do what I can to cover you.
Listens:
557
Who:
Core 2
Yeah! How'd you like that?
Listens:
412
Who:
Core 2
Okay, yes, it's a trap. But it's only way through. Let's just do it.
Listens:
604
Who:
GLaDOS
Still, if it were, Blue would be winning.
Listens:
561
Who:
GLaDOS
And guess what? Ground up moon rocks are pure poison. I am deathly ill.
Listens:
6192
Who:
Cave Johnson
Anyway, just give me a wave before you solve this one, alright? Don't want to spoil the ending for when I watch it later.
Listens:
286
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on! I thought I fixed that.
Listens:
609
Who:
Wheatley
You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you stopping that.
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
Wheeeeeeee!
Listens:
3427
Who:
Turret
You're navigating these test chambers faster than I can build them. So feel free to slow down and... do whatever it is you do when you're not destroying this facility.
Listens:
887
Who:
GLaDOS
Progress report: Still pretty tricky!
Listens:
282
Who:
Wheatley
For that Blue is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
Listens:
943
Who:
GLaDOS
[laugh trailing off] Actually, why do we have to leave right now?
Listens:
1269
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, now. She can't use her turrets. So let's go and take care of that neurotoxin generator as well.
Listens:
274
Who:
Wheatley
Good Job.
Listens:
662
Who:
GLaDOS
Not interested in anything else. Don't TOUCH anything else. Don't even LOOK at anything else, just--well, obviously you've got to look at everything else to find ESCAPE POD, but as soon as you've looked at something and it doesn't say ESCAPE POD, look at something else, look at the next thing. Alright? But don't touch anything else or look at any--well, look at other things, but don't... you understand.
Listens:
1633
Who:
Wheatley
Jammed 'em all together. Buttons. Got funnels. Bottomless pits are involved. It's got it all, it's absolute dynamite.
Listens:
507
Who:
Wheatley
Blue
Listens:
1760
Who:
GLaDOS
Did my hint help? It did, didn't it? You know, if any of our supervisors had been immune to neurotoxin, they'd be FURIOUS with us right now.
Listens:
1530
Who:
GLaDOS
That worked just like you said it would, Blue.
Listens:
281
Who:
GLaDOS
You won't regret this!
Listens:
673
Who:
Defective Turret
I’m on fire ow.
Listens:
5019
Who:
Turret
Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody's going to have to repair that too. No, don't get up. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything.
Listens:
638
Who:
GLaDOS
Right. Well, I’m going to take this rail down the back way.
Listens:
326
Who:
Wheatley
Here we are. The Incinerator Room. Be careful not to trip over any parts of me that didn't get completely burned when you threw them down here.
Listens:
769
Who:
GLaDOS
I spy with my little eye, something that starts with 'f'.
Listens:
429
Who:
Wheatley
As founder and CEO of Aperture Science, I thank you for your participation and hope we can count on you for another round of tests.
Listens:
1102
Who:
Cave Johnson
Okay, let's see. Cool line... He's... big. He's... just hangin' there. Okay. Yeah, all right, here we go: 'Hang around.' That might be too easy.
Listens:
541
Who:
Core 2
Most test subjects do experience some cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension. Now you've been under for... quite a lot longer, and it's not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage.
Listens:
5041
Who:
Wheatley
What are you doing, are you just having a little five minutes to yourself? Fair enough. You've had a rough time. You've been asleep for who knows how long. You've got the massive brain damage. And you're having a little rest. But NOW. Get yourself up. And pick me up.
Listens:
1106
Who:
Wheatley
This is just a thought experiment, just to see how much time you'll waste thinking about these worthless documents. The correct time is zero seconds.
Listens:
452
Who:
GLaDOS
I have the results of the last chamber: You are a horrible person. That's what it says: A horrible person. We weren't even testing for that.
Listens:
3476
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you know who dances around like an imbecile when they accomplish the tiniest little thing?
Listens:
532
Who:
GLaDOS
This is the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center or SinTech.
Listens:
594
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on, just walk up to the window and take a look out.
Listens:
282
Who:
Wheatley
So. Was there anything you wanted to apologize to ME for?
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
Listens:
736
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, I gave it everything I could. Can't ask for more than that.
Listens:
539
Who:
Defective Turret
Dispensing product
Listens:
1583
Who:
Turret
Lady. I love space. I know! Spell it! S P... AACE. Space. Space.
Listens:
20633
Who:
Core 1
To celebrate, I have a surprise for you!
Listens:
622
Who:
GLaDOS
Not you, test subject, you're doing fine.
Listens:
1737
Who:
Cave Johnson
If that doesn't motivate you, I'm not sure what will.
Listens:
270
Who:
GLaDOS
And here I thought this room was dangerously unlethal.
Listens:
309
Who:
GLaDOS
Thought you'd seen the last of us, didn't ya?
Listens:
686
Who:
Defective Turret
Space!
Listens:
1657
Who:
Core 1
Excellent. You’re both doing very well.
Listens:
302
Who:
GLaDOS
Watch out, pal!
Listens:
1075
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm actually asking. Because I have no idea. He's not listed anywhere in the employee database.
Listens:
487
Who:
GLaDOS
MOVE.
Listens:
471
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, look. There's a deer! You probably can't see it. Get closer.
Listens:
1232
Who:
GLaDOS
This test is so outside the box, I can't-- I mean WON'T even tell you what you are looking for.
Listens:
307
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, I'd tell you if I were dead. Courtesy. Mark of a civil society. So, just let me know.
Listens:
417
Who:
Wheatley
Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens.
Listens:
2012
Who:
Core 3
Excellent. Although great science is always the result of collaboration, keep in mind that, like Albert Einstein and his cousin Terry, history will only remember one of you.
Listens:
1732
Who:
GLaDOS
There we go. I wanted to talk to you for a moment, if I may.
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, now you're just being cruel. Blue receives 25 science collaboration points.
Listens:
357
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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