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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Did you know that people with guilty consciences are more easily startled by loud noises--[train horn]--
Listens:
35816
Who:
GLaDOS
Die!
Listens:
1668
Who:
Defective Turret
Reactor Explosion Timer destroyed.
Listens:
3943
Who:
Announcer
We will both die because of your negligence.
Listens:
1261
Who:
Core 3
Whee!
Listens:
2255
Who:
Turret
BURN HIS HOUSE DOWN!
Listens:
6389
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodbye, Caroline.
Listens:
20660
Who:
GLaDOS
In Greek myth, the craftsman Daedalus invented human flight so a group of Minotaurs would stop teasing him about it.
Listens:
864
Who:
Core 3
At the end of The Seagull by Anton Chekhov, Konstantin kills himself.
Listens:
585
Who:
Core 3
Until now.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
Manual core replacement required.
Listens:
2296
Who:
Announcer
This is art. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, stare at the art. [BUZZER]
Listens:
11870
Who:
Announcer
If the Earth is currently governed by a manner of animal-king, sentient cloud, or other governing body that either refuses to or is incapable of listening to reason, th- [RECORDING SHORTS OUT]
Listens:
4425
Who:
Announcer
Hurt me once, shame on me. Hurt me twice...
Listens:
2055
Who:
Defective Turret
Door?
Listens:
398
Who:
Wheatley
Oh no, don't. Anyway, back to you two imbeciles killing me.
Listens:
884
Who:
GLaDOS
Never listens.
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
This is the main breaker room.
Listens:
372
Who:
Wheatley
The Fact Sphere is always right.
Listens:
774
Who:
Core 3
Please do not engage with turrets heading towards redemption.
Listens:
968
Who:
Announcer
So that's a complete reassembly. New vitals. Spit-shine on the old ones. Plus we're scooping out tumors. Frankly, you oughtta be paying us.
Listens:
1716
Who:
Cave Johnson
Good.
Listens:
570
Who:
GLaDOS
In summary: walk all the way to certain doom, or give up now. Honorably. Like a samurai! Save yourself a trip. It's win-win for you.
Listens:
406
Who:
Wheatley
Plug me in, we're running out of time.
Listens:
395
Who:
GLaDOS
Something’s wrong...
Listens:
925
Who:
Turret
Let's go - let's go to space. Let's go to space.
Listens:
1038
Who:
Core 1
Ohhh. Remember when you picked me up? Five seconds ago! Ohhh, that was amazing! Do it again, pick me up again!
Listens:
411
Who:
Wheatley
Hello?
Listens:
1160
Who:
Turret
Are you OK?
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
In the event that it does, this next test involves exposure to cattle tuberculosis. Good luck!
Listens:
753
Who:
GLaDOS
Click click click! Still defective!
Listens:
2396
Who:
Defective Turret
Good shot!
Listens:
771
Who:
Turret
Okay, quick recap: We are escaping! That's what's happening now: we're escaping. So you're doing great. Just keep running!
Listens:
333
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, listen, we should get our stories straight, alright? If anyone asks -- and no one's gonna ask, don't worry -- but if anyone asks, tell them as far as you know, the last time you checked, everyone looked pretty much alive. Alright? Not dead.
Listens:
1107
Who:
Wheatley
Come on, stop muckin' around! Plug me in!
Listens:
297
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, stand back, everybody.
Listens:
431
Who:
Defective Turret
See you soon!
Listens:
911
Who:
Turret
That's ridiculous, how do they know for sure the tests are deadly if they could still write the suggestion?
Listens:
425
Who:
GLaDOS
Whoa!
Listens:
333
Who:
Wheatley
Can't help but notice you're not coming back. Which is disappointing.
Listens:
686
Who:
Wheatley
Do it!
Listens:
498
Who:
Wheatley
Welcome to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center. You have unlocked all available courses.
Listens:
3061
Who:
Announcer
Space.
Listens:
1036
Who:
Core 1
Oh, that's sad. But impressive. Maybe they worked at the phone company.
Listens:
3472
Who:
GLaDOS
Walk casually toward my position and we'll go shut her down.
Listens:
364
Who:
Wheatley
We did it! I'm in control of the whole facility now!
Listens:
389
Who:
Wheatley
Well, I tried.
Listens:
414
Who:
Defective Turret
How about a knife, then? You keep the gun, I'll use a knife.
Listens:
550
Who:
Core 2
Getting bored of space.
Listens:
6221
Who:
Core 1
Oh! It's going faster, which I was... not expecting.
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
Here it is. Why don't you just do it? Trust me, it's an easier way out than whatever asinine plan your friend came up with.
Listens:
4520
Who:
GLaDOS
Be honest. You can't even tell, can you? Seamless.
Listens:
336
Who:
Wheatley
Sentry mode activated
Listens:
1977
Who:
Turret
Yeah, hey, how ya doin'?
Listens:
538
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh, come on, you guys!
Listens:
645
Who:
Defective Turret
Yeah! Ha ha ha!
Listens:
410
Who:
Defective Turret
Carry on.
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
1124
Who:
Defective Turret
I'm afraid the door's locked. Just checked it. No way to hack it as far as I can tell. The mechanism must be on the -oh, now look at that. That's a big laser!
Listens:
477
Who:
Wheatley
Your ping tool can also be used to indicate to your partner where you would like them to place their portal.
Listens:
415
Who:
GLaDOS
Stalemate Resolved.
Listens:
1887
Who:
Announcer
I am not sure you will need him but he will be there.
Listens:
364
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodbye!
Listens:
3435
Who:
Turret
Also, are you alive? That's important, should have asked that first.
Listens:
747
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, I see you, and no, I don't care.
Listens:
5357
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, careful now.
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
Hot water freezes quicker than cold water.
Listens:
658
Who:
Core 3
Go on. Get in.
Listens:
331
Who:
Wheatley
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
521
Who:
Defective Turret
Please ping a white portalable surface.
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
You're not going to believe this. I found a sealed off wing. Hundreds - HUNDREDS! - of perfectly good test chambers. Just sitting there. Filled with skeletons. Shook them out. Good as new!
Listens:
1408
Who:
Wheatley
Antisocial.
Listens:
292
Who:
GLaDOS
Really? Okay.
Listens:
1053
Who:
GLaDOS
There's the exit! We're almost out of here!
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
I love it too. There's just one small thing we need to take care of first.
Listens:
728
Who:
GLaDOS
'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Oh yeah!
Listens:
698
Who:
Core 2
Allright. Preparing to interface with the neurotoxin central control circuit. Begin: 'Ello, guv! Neurotoxin inspectah! Need to shut this place down for a moment! Here's my credentials. Shut yourself down. I am totally legit. From the board of international neurotoxin... um... observers. From the United... Arab Emirates. Hello.
Listens:
3875
Who:
Wheatley
Do you smell neurotoxin?
Listens:
599
Who:
Wheatley
But now, looking around, seeing Aperture restored to its former glory? You don't have to worry about leaving EVER again. I mean that.
Listens:
464
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't make eye contact whatever you do...
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
There's a star. There's another one. Star. Star star star. Star.
Listens:
1611
Who:
Core 1
Try to make your way back out here!
Listens:
327
Who:
Wheatley
That's funny, I don't feel corrupt. In fact, I feel pretty good.
Listens:
1829
Who:
GLaDOS
The answer is beneath us.
Listens:
2106
Who:
Turret
Blue just taught orange a valuable lesson in trust. For that, blue receives 14 science collaboration points.
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyway, don't smudge up the glass down there. In fact, why don't you just go ahead and not touch anything unless it's test related.
Listens:
1071
Who:
Cave Johnson
Powerup initiated.
Listens:
4734
Who:
Announcer
Well, you passed the test. I didn't see the deer today. I did see some humans. But with you here I've got more test subjects than I'll ever need.
Listens:
882
Who:
GLaDOS
Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve.
Listens:
2565
Who:
Core 3
Oh those clerks.
Listens:
413
Who:
GLaDOS
By completing all test courses, you have achieved Level C security clearance. You may now access all testing courses and three of Aperture Science's 176 restrooms.
Listens:
1341
Who:
Announcer
You did it!
Listens:
469
Who:
GLaDOS
Pick--would you pick me up?
Listens:
309
Who:
Wheatley
Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I'm in space!
Listens:
375310
Who:
Core 1
Oh no, I'm one of the bad ones, aren't I?
Listens:
1100
Who:
Defective Turret
Are we in space?
Listens:
1044
Who:
Core 1
Nooooo. No, I don't think it is. I think you're wrong.
Listens:
2153
Who:
Wheatley
Oops.
Listens:
833
Who:
GLaDOS
Look out! I'm right behind you! No, of course I'm not. Saw through that too. Forty feet tall, right in front of you. Not my greatest ruse. To be honest. Still a giant robot, though.
Listens:
1243
Who:
Wheatley
So, let's call that three minutes, and then a minute break, which should leave a leisurely two minutes to figure out how to shut down whatever's starting all these fires. So anyway, that's the itinerary.
Listens:
844
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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