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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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It's... It's moving up.
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
Just say 'Apple'. Easy word, isn't it? 'Apple'.
Listens:
933
Who:
Wheatley
Just a heads-up: That coffee we gave you earlier had fluorescent calcium in it so we can track the neuronal activity in your brain. There's a slight chance the calcium could harden and vitrify your frontal lobe. Anyway, don't stress yourself thinking about it. I'm serious. Visualizing the scenario while under stress actually triggers the reaction.
Listens:
4950
Who:
Cave Johnson
If you want to upset a human, just say their weight variance is above or below the norm.
Listens:
849
Who:
GLaDOS
But you were different weren't you? Such a good jumper. Problem solver. Clever. But ambitious. That's your Achilles Heel. Mine's-oh! Oh! Almost told you. Clever, clever girl. Again: brain damaged like a fox, you.
Listens:
2312
Who:
Wheatley
Startles easily. Boo!
Listens:
565
Who:
GLaDOS
Space!
Listens:
1352
Who:
Core 1
Here we are. The Incinerator Room. Be careful not to trip over any parts of me that didn't get completely burned when you threw them down here.
Listens:
936
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, come on, you guys!
Listens:
655
Who:
Defective Turret
There we go. Lights on.
Listens:
338
Who:
Wheatley
I can't see it though... Maybe it fell off. Do you want to go and have a quick look?
Listens:
353
Who:
Wheatley
No! No! You're LYING! You're LYING!
Listens:
633
Who:
Wheatley
Ha ha! Gotcha right where I want ya!
Listens:
726
Who:
Defective Turret
That extra half volt helps but it isn't going to power miracles. If I think too hard, I'm going to fry this potato before we get a chance to burn up in the atomic fireball that little idiot is going- [bzzpt]
Listens:
3718
Who:
GLaDOS
Identify yourself or I will shoot.
Listens:
4235
Who:
Defective Turret
You may as well have a little rest, actually, while I work on it.
Listens:
324
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! You came back! Didn't actually plan... for that. Can't actually reset the death trap. So. Ah. Could you jump into that pit, there? Would you just jump into that pit for me?
Listens:
1270
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, and don't bother trying to portal out of here, because it's impossible, okay? I thought of everything.
Listens:
334
Who:
Wheatley
Don't press that button. You don't know what you're doing.
Listens:
1804
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello!
Listens:
2868
Who:
Wheatley
Um. 'TRUE'. I'll go 'true'.
Listens:
20681
Who:
Wheatley
Federal regulations require me to warn you that this next test chamber... is looking pretty good.
Listens:
1139
Who:
GLaDOS
Did something happen? [yawn] I wasn't watching.
Listens:
564
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh.
Listens:
464
Who:
GLaDOS
Touche, young lady, touche.
Listens:
1277
Who:
Defective Turret
Bad news is we're postponing those tests indefinitely. Good news is we've got a much better test for you: fighting an army of mantis men. Pick up a rifle and follow the yellow line. You'll know when the test starts.
Listens:
19127
Who:
Cave Johnson
Perhaps I should have specified. Teamwork is a concept in which two or more people work together, usually with a goal of not failing horribly.
Listens:
724
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey.
Listens:
1080
Who:
Core 1
Hey hey! You made it!
Listens:
314
Who:
Wheatley
If you were human, you would want a reward for completing this test. A reward for testing?!?!
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
Emotional problems.
Listens:
461
Who:
GLaDOS
I hate you so much.
Listens:
14165
Who:
GLaDOS
[sigh] Don't tell anyone about this.
Listens:
1503
Who:
Defective Turret
No, wait, wait!
Listens:
584
Who:
Defective Turret
Hello?
Listens:
1173
Who:
Turret
Right. Let's figure out how to stop this turret line...
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
Chronic anxiety. Oh, I can work with that.
Listens:
437
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm not defective!
Listens:
1465
Who:
Defective Turret
Are you still there?
Listens:
59173
Who:
Turret
Oh, hang on. What if we gave it something ELSE to scan?
Listens:
334
Who:
Wheatley
I know we're in a lot of trouble and probably about to die.
Listens:
459
Who:
GLaDOS
Using your ping tool, please indicate where you would like me to place your two portals. Ping each location.
Listens:
448
Who:
GLaDOS
The situation you are in is very dangerous.
Listens:
2976
Who:
Core 3
Can't help but notice you're not coming back. Which is disappointing.
Listens:
698
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, I've just gotta concentrate!
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
I'm fine!
Listens:
1259
Who:
Turret
We're back!
Listens:
2099
Who:
Defective Turret
Hurt me once, shame on me. Hurt me twice...
Listens:
2074
Who:
Defective Turret
Alright. He's not even trying to be subtle anymore.
Listens:
897
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyway, new turrets. Not defective. Ace of fours. The best hand. Unbeatable, I imagine.
Listens:
1629
Who:
Wheatley
Good work! I'm delivering the first core up near the catwalk!
Listens:
396
Who:
GLaDOS
It emphasizes teamwork.
Listens:
301
Who:
GLaDOS
All cooperative testing courses begin at this central hub.
Listens:
369
Who:
GLaDOS
In the event that it does, this next test involves exposure to cattle tuberculosis. Good luck!
Listens:
785
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m sorry, Subject Orange.
Listens:
465
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah! There you are. Great. Let me just get rid of this catwalk.
Listens:
413
Who:
Wheatley
Yes indeed. Yes indeed.
Listens:
2263
Who:
Defective Turret
Humans! That's what you look like right now.
Listens:
480
Who:
GLaDOS
You will know it when you find it.
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
[to self] Hm. Could be Spanish, could be Spanish. [loud again] Hola, amigo! Abre la puerta! Donde esta--no. Um...
Listens:
2650
Who:
Wheatley
If you're going to hit each other, at least aim for the head.
Listens:
308
Who:
GLaDOS
ow.
Listens:
551
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on -
Listens:
347
Who:
Wheatley
Dreams are the subconscious mind's way of reminding people to go to school naked and have their teeth fall out.
Listens:
1323
Who:
Core 3
Crap!
Listens:
1249
Who:
Defective Turret
Hold on! I thought I fixed that.
Listens:
660
Who:
Wheatley
Door?
Listens:
410
Who:
Wheatley
Try one of those childish gestures.
Listens:
481
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue is first to acquire a Portal Device.
Listens:
405
Who:
GLaDOS
Really? Alright.
Listens:
398
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue just taught orange a valuable lesson in trust. For that, blue receives 14 science collaboration points.
Listens:
434
Who:
GLaDOS
This is one of MY tests!
Listens:
475
Who:
GLaDOS
Participates unconstructively. Obviously a time-waster.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
I found two little robots back here. Built specifically for testin'!
Listens:
401
Who:
Wheatley
There she is...
Listens:
397
Who:
Wheatley
To celebrate, I have a surprise for you!
Listens:
713
Who:
GLaDOS
Wanna go to earth wanna go to earth wanna go to earth wanna go to earth. Wanna go to earth.
Listens:
2619
Who:
Core 1
Let's go - let's go to space. Let's go to space.
Listens:
1127
Who:
Core 1
You have trapped yourself. Congratulations. The exit door is now open.
Listens:
3800
Who:
Announcer
Okay, look, the point is, we're gonna break out of here! Very soon, I promise, I promise!
Listens:
313
Who:
Wheatley
It's probably nothing. Keep testing while I look for a way out.
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done! The Enrichment Center reminds you that although circumstances may appear bleak, you are not alone. All Aperture Science personality constructs will remain functional in apocalyptic, low power environments of as few as 1.1 volts.
Listens:
2389
Who:
Announcer
The humans closed this test because they said it was too deadly. I thought they would have moved it into the testing track hall of fame for that, not let it deteriorate.
Listens:
504
Who:
GLaDOS
Tell ya what, why don't you put me down and I'll make a distraction.
Listens:
482
Who:
Core 2
Oh, in case you got covered in that repulsion gel, here's some advice the lab boys gave me: DO NOT get covered in the repulsion gel.
Listens:
2445
Who:
Cave Johnson
Ohhhhhh, yes she is.
Listens:
432
Who:
Wheatley
You've probably figured it out by now, but I don't need you anymore.
Listens:
333
Who:
Wheatley
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
815
Who:
Core 3
Space. Space.
Listens:
1779
Who:
Core 1
He will most likely kill you, violently.
Listens:
1046
Who:
Core 3
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
611
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh. No. I fizzled that one too.
Listens:
584
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, look, okay, I'll be honest. You're the LAST test subject left. And if you DON'T help me, we're both going to die. Alright? I didn't want to say it, you dragged it out of me. Alright? Dead. Dos Muerte.
Listens:
618
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Brilliant, thank you, great.
Listens:
666
Who:
Wheatley
You should now feel mentally reinvigorated. If you suspect staring at art has not provided the required intellectual sustenance, reflect briefly on this classical music. [MUSIC INTERRUPTED BY BUZZER]
Listens:
5904
Who:
Announcer
Aggh! I'm going the wrong way!
Listens:
355
Who:
Wheatley
Can't... see it anywhere. Tell you what, plug me in and I'll turn the lights on.
Listens:
344
Who:
Wheatley
I think I can break us out of here in the next chamber. Just play along.
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you okay? Are you - Don't answer that. I'm absolutely sure you're fine. There's plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it slow.
Listens:
546
Who:
Wheatley
Space space wanna go to space
Listens:
1035
Who:
Core 1
00:00 / 00:00
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