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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Better buy a telescope. Wanna see me. Buy a telescope. Gonna be in space.
Listens:
5585
Who:
Core 1
It emphasizes teamwork.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
First thing I noticed about you: 'Now there's a lady who could resolve any button-based disputes,' I thought. A diamond in the rough, if you will--a a bloody natural. A born dispute resolution advisor in need of a button.
Listens:
573
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, in case you got covered in that repulsion gel, here's some advice the lab boys gave me: DO NOT get covered in the repulsion gel.
Listens:
2419
Who:
Cave Johnson
You think I'll betray you. And on any other day, you'd be right.
Listens:
419
Who:
GLaDOS
Your failing does not make this science.
Listens:
433
Who:
GLaDOS
This is a sterile environment; please refrain from riding on the turret line.
Listens:
990
Who:
Announcer
Oh.
Listens:
458
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, did you bring your little portal gun? Nothing to portal onto here, luv. Just ten pounds of dead weight. About to be two hundred and ten. Fatty.
Listens:
7013
Who:
Wheatley
Roman toothpaste was made with human urine. Urine as an ingredient in toothpaste continued to be used up until the 18th century.
Listens:
911
Who:
Core 3
Go press the button! Go press it!
Listens:
1070
Who:
GLaDOS
Riggght now.
Listens:
335
Who:
Wheatley
Oh.
Listens:
571
Who:
Defective Turret
Sir, the testing?
Listens:
2491
Who:
Caroline
Congratulations on completing the test. You two really are the best cooperative testing team I could ever ask for.
Listens:
374
Who:
GLaDOS
You know what, this plan is so good, I'm going to give you a sporting chance and turn off the neurotoxin. I'm joking. Of course. Goodbye.
Listens:
1570
Who:
Wheatley
Nope. Still can't see.
Listens:
777
Who:
Defective Turret
How is this even science, without the possibility of death?
Listens:
677
Who:
GLaDOS
Moody.
Listens:
347
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! Moron!
Listens:
24588
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done!
Listens:
672
Who:
Turret
Ohhhhhhh, that's tremendous.
Listens:
573
Who:
Wheatley
No! Don't! No! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Listens:
3363
Who:
Wheatley
Tungsten has the highest melting point of any metal, at 3,410 degrees Celsius.
Listens:
738
Who:
Core 3
It's like you're just machines.
Listens:
302
Who:
GLaDOS
I hate you so much.
Listens:
14105
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodbye, Caroline.
Listens:
20876
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Good news! [electic pop] Nevermind.
Listens:
6730
Who:
Wheatley
I was confident you could finish.
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
If I made these tests any easier, they wouldn't be tests.
Listens:
324
Who:
GLaDOS
'Let there be light.' That's, uh... God. I was quoting God.
Listens:
2583
Who:
Wheatley
Searching
Listens:
875
Who:
Turret
I'm being serious, I think there's something really wrong with me.
Listens:
1298
Who:
GLaDOS
Progress report: Still pretty tricky!
Listens:
332
Who:
Wheatley
Please wave to your partner.
Listens:
622
Who:
GLaDOS
In Greek myth, the craftsman Daedalus invented human flight so a group of Minotaurs would stop teasing him about it.
Listens:
868
Who:
Core 3
I'm starting to think giving you arms was a big mistake.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, really? Space? Really? You should have said something! We had no idea!
Listens:
1976
Who:
Core 2
There's nothing in space! That's why it's space!
Listens:
5726
Who:
Core 2
Would you mind putting your back towards me? So I can see only your back. And not your face.
Listens:
313
Who:
Wheatley
I thought about our dilemma, and I came up with a solution that I honestly think works out best for one of both of us.
Listens:
4018
Who:
GLaDOS
BLUE, please observe your partner's... interesting choice.
Listens:
589
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you doing? Put me back this instant.
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
This is AMAZING! We can walk wherever we want! Look, just... go left! No, go right, go right! Don't even care, don't even care, just go where ever you want, couldn't care less.
Listens:
466
Who:
Wheatley
Good morning. You have been in suspension for nine nine nine... nine nine ni- This courtesy call is to inform you that all test subjects should immediately vacate [FADES OUT]
Listens:
29065
Who:
Announcer
That jumpsuit you're wearing looks stupid. That's not me talking, it's right here in your file. On other people it looks fine, but right here a scientist has noted that on you it looks 'stupid.'
Listens:
2676
Who:
GLaDOS
Always sulking.
Listens:
314
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry.
Listens:
555
Who:
GLaDOS
How is this even science, without the consequence of death?
Listens:
449
Who:
GLaDOS
To try and make this course more exciting, I asked the reassembly machine to not reassemble you. He refused. I understand, that would be like asking me not to test.
Listens:
314
Who:
GLaDOS
What was that?
Listens:
397
Who:
Wheatley
Very impressive! Because this message is prerecorded, any comments we may make about your success are speculation on our part. Please disregard any undeserved compliments.
Listens:
1404
Who:
GLaDOS
I should congratulate you, by the way. I didn't actually think you'd make such a worthy opponent. Weren't you supposed to be brain damaged or something? yeah, brain damaged like a fox.
Listens:
1920
Who:
Wheatley
I know things look bleak, but that crazy man down there was right. Let's not take these lemons! We are going to march right back upstairs and MAKE him put me back in my body!
Listens:
4459
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on. Get a big fat eyeful. With your big fat eyes.
Listens:
2486
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on. Just jam me in over there.
Listens:
324
Who:
Wheatley
Corrupted Core: are you ready to start?
Listens:
2798
Who:
Announcer
I know we're in a lot of trouble and probably about to die.
Listens:
455
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't plug him in.
Listens:
374
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, now. She can't use her turrets. So let's go and take care of that neurotoxin generator as well.
Listens:
331
Who:
Wheatley
Stay back.
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
Space? SPACE!
Listens:
24668
Who:
Core 1
Oh really. That's what the two of you think, is it?
Listens:
331
Who:
Wheatley
Like the potato!
Listens:
187995
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey lady.
Listens:
1072
Who:
Core 1
Open the door!
Listens:
429
Who:
Wheatley
She did all the work.
Listens:
540
Who:
GLaDOS
And as soon as I can PROVE it, the laws of robotics allow me to terminate you for being a liar.
Listens:
742
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfect. Now All YOU have to do is capture them for me. Then everything will finally be ba--
Listens:
826
Who:
GLaDOS
Was. Was self-destructing. Already fixed.
Listens:
654
Who:
Wheatley
The end.
Listens:
1659
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm sure we'll be fine.
Listens:
304
Who:
GLaDOS
You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello?
Listens:
815
Who:
Wheatley
Space...
Listens:
7506
Who:
Core 1
To get to the Vault, you are going to need to use all the tricks you have learned. To help, I have made these tests extremely difficult.
Listens:
445
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't shoot!
Listens:
2534
Who:
Turret
I'll tell ya, it's times like this I wish I had a waist so I could wear all my black belts. Yeah, I'm a black belt. In pretty much everything. Karate. Larate. Jiu Jitsu. Kick punching. Belt making. Taekwondo... Bedroom.
Listens:
17113
Who:
Core 2
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
530
Who:
Defective Turret
Turret redemption lines active.
Listens:
1732
Who:
Announcer
You're saying to yourself, why should I jump into the pit? I'll tell you why. Guess who's down there? Your parents! You're not adopted after all! It's your natural parents down there in the pit. Should have mentioned it before. But I didn't. So jump on down and reunite with mommy and daddy.
Listens:
3055
Who:
Wheatley
You find a way to stun him, I'll send you a core, and then you attach it to him. If we do it a few times, he might become corrupt enough for another core transfer.
Listens:
400
Who:
GLaDOS
Target acquired.
Listens:
9930
Who:
Turret
Excellent. I think you have earned a break from the official testing courses.
Listens:
384
Who:
GLaDOS
At some point in their lives 1 in 6 children will be abducted by the Dutch.
Listens:
5883
Who:
Core 3
Owwww!
Listens:
1004
Who:
Turret
Well, I did my best.
Listens:
498
Who:
Defective Turret
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
595
Who:
Defective Turret
And...?
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
Right. Let's figure out how to stop this turret line...
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
Blue is penalized
Listens:
436
Who:
GLaDOS
Still a work in progress, don't judge me yet. Eventually I'd like to get them to sort of shoot fire at you, moments before crushing you. That's what I'm aiming for. But you know, small steps.
Listens:
1480
Who:
Wheatley
Well done. In the event that oxygen is no longer available in the Enrichment Center, an auxiliary air supply will be provided to you by an Aperture Science Test Associate, if one exists.
Listens:
695
Who:
GLaDOS
Moves lips while reading.
Listens:
402
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohhh. I see. [chuckle]
Listens:
698
Who:
Wheatley
Plug me in, plug me in!
Listens:
311
Who:
Wheatley
You know, I'm not supposed to do this, but... you can shoot SOMETHING... through the blue bridges.
Listens:
614
Who:
GLaDOS
Oooh! Ooh! Hi hi hi hi hi. Where we going? Where we going? Hey. Lady. Where we going? Where we going? Let's go to space!
Listens:
8425
Who:
Core 1
Alright, I'm pulling you out.
Listens:
754
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't plug him in.
Listens:
483
Who:
GLaDOS
Notice the moat area. Very deadly. Extremely dangerous. Eventually. Not at the moment. Still working on it, still working on it.
Listens:
450
Who:
Wheatley
00:00 / 00:00
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