Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
'Let there be light.' That's, uh... God. I was quoting God.
Listens:
2055
Who:
Wheatley
But now, looking around, seeing Aperture restored to its former glory? You don't have to worry about leaving EVER again. I mean that.
Listens:
381
Who:
GLaDOS
Nonononononono!
Listens:
69762
Who:
GLaDOS
You are going to die in this room.
Listens:
690
Who:
Core 3
I'm in space.
Listens:
1778
Who:
Core 1
I love it too. There's just one small thing we need to take care of first.
Listens:
595
Who:
GLaDOS
I just hate Blue a little more.
Listens:
357
Who:
GLaDOS
What happened? What, what, what have you put onto me? What is that?
Listens:
424
Who:
Wheatley
Her name is Caroline.
Listens:
4008
Who:
Turret
Give up? Also the floor. Was the answer that time. Same as before. Still on the floor.
Listens:
239
Who:
Wheatley
Just, ah... pick me up. Take me with you.
Listens:
241
Who:
Wheatley
And another thing! You never caught me. I told you I could die falling off that rail. And you didn't catch me. You didn't even try. Oh, it's all becoming clear to me now. Find some dupe to break you out of cryosleep. Give him a sob story about escaping to the surface. Squeeze him for information on where to find a portal gun.
Listens:
4024
Who:
Wheatley
It's alright. No, go on, just have a look about.
Listens:
242
Who:
Wheatley
There should be a portal device on that podium over there.
Listens:
246
Who:
Wheatley
Go on.
Listens:
243
Who:
Wheatley
The average adult body contains half a pound of salt.
Listens:
512
Who:
Core 3
I've got an idea! Do what it says, plug me in!
Listens:
238
Who:
Wheatley
Excellent.
Listens:
263
Who:
GLaDOS
Polymerase I polypeptide A is a human gene.
Listens:
570
Who:
Core 3
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
3145
Who:
Defective Turret
I thought about our dilemma, and I came up with a solution that I honestly think works out best for one of both of us.
Listens:
3729
Who:
GLaDOS
Just remember to land on one foot...
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
Arrrrgh!
Listens:
688
Who:
Turret
Hello. Hello. Hell-- Aw, crap...
Listens:
12177
Who:
Defective Turret
Oh no no no... No! Nooo!
Listens:
9320
Who:
Wheatley
Yes, I see you.
Listens:
721
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you testing me?
Listens:
318
Who:
GLaDOS
Better buy a telescope. Wanna see me. Buy a telescope. Gonna be in space.
Listens:
5356
Who:
Core 1
Even if I am lying, what do you have to lose? You're going to die either way.
Listens:
501
Who:
GLaDOS
At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
Listens:
485
Who:
GLaDOS
That's why humans couldn't complete these courses, they treat their friends as enemies.
Listens:
260
Who:
GLaDOS
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
936
Who:
Core 1
Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?
Listens:
388
Who:
Defective Turret
Excuse me
Listens:
1953
Who:
Turret
Oh, that's funny, is it? Because we've been at this twelve hours and you haven't solved it either, so I don't know why you're laughing.
Listens:
860
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, what? How stupid does she think we are?
Listens:
369
Who:
Wheatley
Bad news is we're postponing those tests indefinitely. Good news is we've got a much better test for you: fighting an army of mantis men. Pick up a rifle and follow the yellow line. You'll know when the test starts.
Listens:
17423
Who:
Cave Johnson
Science isn't about WHY. It's about WHY NOT. Why is so much of our science dangerous? Why not marry safe science if you love it so much. In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you on the butt on the way out, because you are fired.
Listens:
46599
Who:
Cave Johnson
clickclickclick
Listens:
436
Who:
Defective Turret
If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.
Listens:
1426
Who:
Announcer
Orange is first to acquire a Portal Device.
Listens:
559
Who:
GLaDOS
She's the backbone of this facility. Pretty as a postcard, too. Sorry, fellas. She's married. To science.
Listens:
1539
Who:
Cave Johnson
Impersonating a stalemate associate. I just added that to the list. It's a list I made of all the things you've done. Well, it's a list that I AM making, because you're still doing things right now, even though I'm telling you to stop. Stop, by the way.
Listens:
1234
Who:
GLaDOS
Sometimes testing has to occur outside the confines of the lab.
Listens:
240
Who:
GLaDOS
AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it.
Listens:
478
Who:
Wheatley
Oh, I almost forgot, when you go outside the testing courses the only way I can retrieve you is to violently disassemble and then carefully reassemble you.
Listens:
562
Who:
GLaDOS
There it is.
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
You can't give up now.
Listens:
252
Who:
GLaDOS
I've been doing some reading. Did you know that the word orange is derived from the same Latin root as the word traitor?
Listens:
451
Who:
GLaDOS
How was that?
Listens:
332
Who:
Defective Turret
So much space. Need to see it all.
Listens:
1830
Who:
Core 1
I wouldn't have warned you about this before, back when we hated each other. But those turrets are firing real bullets. So look out. I'd hate for something tragic to happen to you before I extract all your bone marrow.
Listens:
1337
Who:
GLaDOS
This looks dangerous. I'll hold the light steady.
Listens:
242
Who:
Wheatley
[gentle laughter] It's been fun. Don't come back.
Listens:
6803
Who:
GLaDOS
If you're dying, but not dead, stomp once. If you're dead, obviously no stomps. And two stomps if you're not dead. Lemme just run through that again: If you're dying but not dead stomp just once. If you're dead, obviously you won't be stomping. And if you're not dead, give me two stomps.
Listens:
1106
Who:
Wheatley
One of these times you'll be so fat that you'll jump, and you'll just drop like a stone. Into acid, probably. Like a potato into a deep fat fryer.
Listens:
17425
Who:
GLaDOS
A, A, A, A, A, A. [NNNT!] No. A, A, A, A, A, B. [NNNT!] Hold on, I've done both of these. Skip ahead. A, B, C... D, G, H.[DING!]
Listens:
166565
Who:
Wheatley
Moo hoo ha ha ha ha...
Listens:
703
Who:
Defective Turret
In the event that the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from spa
Listens:
694
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh dear.
Listens:
828
Who:
Turret
I AM NOT! A MORON!
Listens:
7067
Who:
Wheatley
Look, even if you think we're still enemies, we're enemies with a common interest: Revenge.
Listens:
783
Who:
GLaDOS
Good.
Listens:
508
Who:
GLaDOS
Orange, blue isn't a human. The lesson on trust only needs to be taught once. Orange is penalized 1 science collaboration point.
Listens:
257
Who:
GLaDOS
Ow.
Listens:
456
Who:
Wheatley
Do you have any idea how good this feels?
Listens:
361
Who:
Wheatley
Are you trying to impress me? What would impress me more is if you never did that again.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't even know what I just said! But I can find out!
Listens:
341
Who:
Wheatley
Sir, the test.
Listens:
1270
Who:
Caroline
I'm starting to think giving you arms was a big mistake.
Listens:
254
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes.
Listens:
549
Who:
GLaDOS
All cooperative testing courses begin at this central hub.
Listens:
271
Who:
GLaDOS
What, are you still alive? You are joking. You have got be kidding me. Well, I'm still in control. AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO FIX THIS PLACE.
Listens:
5716
Who:
Wheatley
I’m sorry, Subject Blue.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
Be careful. Hugging can lead to... well, me disassembling you forever.
Listens:
409
Who:
GLaDOS
Watch and learn, everyone. Watch and learn.
Listens:
408
Who:
Defective Turret
At the time of this recording, Federal disclosure policies require us to inform you that this next test is probably lethal and to redirect you to a safer test environment.
Listens:
1384
Who:
Announcer
You really aren't getting tired of that, are you?
Listens:
1266
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello? Friend.
Listens:
26690
Who:
Turret
Well, what does a neck-bearded old engineer know about fashion? He probably - Oh, wait. It's a she. Still, what does she know? Oh wait, it says she has a medical degree. In fashion! From France!
Listens:
4197
Who:
GLaDOS
If the subject survived the test, we let them purchase the pictures for $5. If the subject died, we gave the photo to their next of kin free of charge.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey!
Listens:
785
Who:
Turret
Great work! Because this message is prerecorded, any observations related to your performance are speculation on our part. Please disregard any undeserved compliments.
Listens:
2807
Who:
Announcer
Press the button again.
Listens:
991
Who:
GLaDOS
GET IN!
Listens:
243
Who:
Wheatley
[BUZZER NOISE]
Listens:
19204
Who:
Wheatley
I thought going back to these old tests would satisfy me. But try as you might to fail this next test, I still won't be satisfied.
Listens:
240
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't take anything with you.
Listens:
338
Who:
GLaDOS
We all agree you should stop.
Listens:
325
Who:
GLaDOS
If I made these tests any easier, they wouldn't be tests.
Listens:
245
Who:
GLaDOS
Illegal operation
Listens:
1060
Who:
Turret
No!
Listens:
573
Who:
Wheatley
Raseph, the Semitic god of war and plague, had a gazelle growing out of his forehead.
Listens:
758
Who:
Core 3
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit. They are found in Australians.
Listens:
927
Who:
Core 3
Hello!
Listens:
2451
Who:
Wheatley
This is art. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, stare at the art. [BUZZER]
Listens:
10658
Who:
Announcer
Take me with you...
Listens:
885
Who:
Turret
That's it. Scan it for me.
Listens:
570
Who:
GLaDOS
Have you got any ideas?
Listens:
241
Who:
Wheatley
There's a thousand tests performed every day here in our enrichment spheres. I can't personally oversee every one of them, so these pre-recorded messages'll cover any questions you might have, and respond to any incidents that may occur in the course of your science adventure.
Listens:
1111
Who:
Cave Johnson
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
