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Portal 2
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Using your ping tool, please indicate where you would like me to place your two portals. Ping each location.
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's go in!
Listens:
260
Who:
Wheatley
All right. I'm officially no longer paying attention to you.
Listens:
274
Who:
GLaDOS
You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
Listens:
472
Who:
GLaDOS
Narcissist.
Listens:
291
Who:
GLaDOS
She probably deserved it.
Listens:
825
Who:
Turret
I HAVE to test. All the time. Or I get this... this ITCH. It must be hardwired into the system or something.
Listens:
1127
Who:
Wheatley
We should be getting close. Ohh, I can't wait to see the look on her face. No neurotoxin, no turrets--she'll never know what hit her!
Listens:
366
Who:
Wheatley
Goodnight
Listens:
5731
Who:
Turret
Come on, you've already solved it.
Listens:
599
Who:
Wheatley
She's bringing the whole place down! Hurry!
Listens:
257
Who:
Wheatley
NOT a team player.
Listens:
472
Who:
GLaDOS
BLUE, please observe your partner's... interesting choice.
Listens:
516
Who:
GLaDOS
Spinny-blade-wall!
Listens:
630
Who:
Wheatley
It'll be fine. Get in.
Listens:
268
Who:
Wheatley
Plug me in, plug me in!
Listens:
263
Who:
Wheatley
Two: Start the neurotoxin immediately.
Listens:
931
Who:
Wheatley
Oh good, that's back online. I'll start getting everything else working while you perform this first simple test.
Listens:
802
Who:
GLaDOS
Really? Okay.
Listens:
1001
Who:
GLaDOS
Ah, crap.
Listens:
1265
Who:
Defective Turret
On second thought we don't have the time, just look at how much better you are than blue.
Listens:
280
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't want you to beat yourselves up about this, but the Results Auditor isn't recording your test results. Because you're not human. Which, when you think about it, is technically your fault.
Listens:
629
Who:
GLaDOS
Bean counters said I couldn't fire a man just for being in a wheelchair. Did it anyway. Ramps are expensive.
Listens:
5695
Who:
Cave Johnson
There we go. I wanted to talk to you for a moment, if I may.
Listens:
282
Who:
Wheatley
Let go! Let go! I'm still connected. I can pull myself in. I can still fix this!
Listens:
1009
Who:
Wheatley
Orange is penalized
Listens:
317
Who:
GLaDOS
If you were wondering how could you annoy me without failing a test. Now you know.
Listens:
262
Who:
GLaDOS
And they said no one would ever die during this test, thanks for proving them wrong.
Listens:
416
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, don't sink to Orange's level.
Listens:
264
Who:
GLaDOS
Error. Error. Error. File not found.
Listens:
1240
Who:
Core 3
That's ridiculous, how do they know for sure the tests are deadly if they could still write the suggestion?
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay! Don't move!
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
GET IN!
Listens:
298
Who:
Wheatley
Calibrating Blue's weight...
Listens:
325
Who:
GLaDOS
MOVE.
Listens:
445
Who:
Wheatley
Come on through.
Listens:
264
Who:
Wheatley
Good. For him. Alright, back to thinking.
Listens:
504
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you doing? YOU MONSTER! They're one of us.
Listens:
7063
Who:
GLaDOS
Enough! I told you not to put these cores on me. But you don't listen, do you? Quiet. All the time. Quietly not listening to a word I say. Judging me. Silently. The worst kind.
Listens:
1359
Who:
Wheatley
That extra half volt helps but it isn't going to power miracles. If I think too hard, I'm going to fry this potato before we get a chance to burn up in the atomic fireball that little idiot is going- [bzzpt]
Listens:
3500
Who:
GLaDOS
But now, looking around, seeing Aperture restored to its former glory? You don't have to worry about leaving EVER again. I mean that.
Listens:
400
Who:
GLaDOS
I trust you. You are my favorite cooperative testing subject.
Listens:
261
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome to the enrichment center. [cough]
Listens:
6090
Who:
Cave Johnson
I was able - well, forced really - to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever.
Listens:
761
Who:
GLaDOS
Core transfer?
Listens:
753
Who:
GLaDOS
At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
Listens:
519
Who:
GLaDOS
We're in space!
Listens:
2495
Who:
Wheatley
I'll be honest: The death traps have been a bit of a failure so far. For both of us. I think you'll agree. And you are getting very close to my lair.
Listens:
594
Who:
Wheatley
Oh boy.
Listens:
1026
Who:
Core 1
Warning! Neurotoxin pressure has reached dangerously unlethal levels.
Listens:
5050
Who:
Announcer
I know I'm early, but we have to go right NOW!
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
three
Listens:
628
Who:
GLaDOS
No knife? That's fine. I know all about pressure points.
Listens:
423
Who:
Core 2
Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!
Listens:
567
Who:
Defective Turret
Because of the technical difficulties we are currently experiencing, your test environment is unsupervised.
Listens:
999
Who:
Announcer
Now, you are just wasting my time.
Listens:
319
Who:
GLaDOS
I can only place a portal on a white portalable surface.
Listens:
284
Who:
GLaDOS
The automobile brake was not invented until 1895. Before this, someone had to remain in the car at all times, driving in circles until passengers returned from their errands.
Listens:
1029
Who:
Core 3
A, A, A, A, A, A. [NNNT!] No. A, A, A, A, A, B. [NNNT!] Hold on, I've done both of these. Skip ahead. A, B, C... D, G, H.[DING!]
Listens:
170173
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, you are very good at being an example.
Listens:
323
Who:
GLaDOS
This situation is hopeless.
Listens:
707
Who:
Core 3
Edmund Hillary, the first person to climb Mount Everest, did so accidentally while chasing a bird.
Listens:
1768
Who:
Core 3
Avoid defective defective turrets as they may still be active.
Listens:
854
Who:
Announcer
Now you're thinking with stupidity.
Listens:
1873
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is the most handsome sphere.
Listens:
1162
Who:
Core 3
Aggressive. I like that.
Listens:
889
Who:
GLaDOS
Space space wanna go to space yes please space. Space space. Go to space.
Listens:
18151
Who:
Core 1
Warning: Central core is eighty percent corrupt.
Listens:
2194
Who:
Announcer
We did it! I'm in control of the whole facility now!
Listens:
321
Who:
Wheatley
Jammed 'em all together. Buttons. Got funnels. Bottomless pits are involved. It's got it all, it's absolute dynamite.
Listens:
492
Who:
Wheatley
If the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from space-debris DOES NOT appear to be a deliberate part of the test.
Listens:
1806
Who:
Announcer
Always sulking.
Listens:
258
Who:
GLaDOS
Doesn't bother me. I gotta say, the view's mighty nice from right here.
Listens:
513
Who:
Core 2
Hah! It bloody worked! I hacked it! Hacked. Properly. Properly hacked. Ha ha ha!
Listens:
1193
Who:
Wheatley
I probably wouldn't have let things get this far, but you go ahead and do things your way.
Listens:
769
Who:
Core 2
Here's an idea, since making tests is difficult--why don't you just keep solving THIS test. Same one. And I can just... watch you solve it. Yes. That sounds much easier.
Listens:
815
Who:
Wheatley
Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens.
Listens:
1991
Who:
Core 3
[humming]
Listens:
1814
Who:
Core 1
If you think trapping yourself is going to make me stop testing, you're sorely mistaken. Here's another cube.
Listens:
1078
Who:
GLaDOS
Only one more test after this.
Listens:
266
Who:
GLaDOS
Still running. Alright. Looks tiring. Tell you what - you stop running and I'll stop bombing you... That seems fair.
Listens:
472
Who:
Wheatley
I think these test chambers look even better than they did before. It was easy, really. You just have to look at things objectively, see what you don't need anymore, and trim out the fat.
Listens:
3441
Who:
GLaDOS
Luckily, you don't feel pain. At any rate, you don't have a way to communicate that you feel pain.
Listens:
467
Who:
GLaDOS
So that's just what I was doing. I was just reading... ah... books. So I'm not a moron.
Listens:
2171
Who:
Wheatley
Keep it up and you will lose 500 points.
Listens:
840
Who:
GLaDOS
Quick, this way!
Listens:
261
Who:
Wheatley
Nope. Still can't see.
Listens:
723
Who:
Defective Turret
Simple word. 'Apple'.
Listens:
570
Who:
Wheatley
Don't listen to her, do it.
Listens:
276
Who:
Wheatley
Hello?
Listens:
2516
Who:
Turret
Don't press the button!
Listens:
698
Who:
Wheatley
Put me down!
Listens:
929
Who:
Turret
To do that, the tests were nothing more than 5 minutes of them walking followed by me praising them for another 10 minutes on how well they walked.
Listens:
304
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on. Run back the other way! I'll turn the bridges back on!
Listens:
273
Who:
Wheatley
Still held! Still bein' held. That's a great job. You've applied the grip. We're all fine. That's tremendous.
Listens:
271
Who:
Wheatley
The first commercial airline flight took to the air in 1914. Everyone involved screamed the entire way.
Listens:
909
Who:
Core 3
I thought going back to these old tests would satisfy me. But try as you might to fail this next test, I still won't be satisfied.
Listens:
260
Who:
GLaDOS
No, wait, wait!
Listens:
552
Who:
Defective Turret
This is the main breaker room.
Listens:
296
Who:
Wheatley
It's your old friend, deadly neurotoxin. If I were you, I'd take a deep breath. And hold it.
Listens:
6146
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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