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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Because this message is prerecorded, the Enrichment Center has no way of knowing if whatever government remains offers any sort of Cattle Tuberculosis Testing Credit for taxes.
Listens:
848
Who:
GLaDOS
I found two little robots back here. Built specifically for testin'!
Listens:
359
Who:
Wheatley
Hmmm. Hmmmmmm. Hmm. Hmmmmm. Space!
Listens:
2440
Who:
Core 1
Caroline... why do I know this woman? Maybe I killed her? Or-
Listens:
3666
Who:
GLaDOS
Here, stand behind me. Yeah, just like that. Just like you're doing. Things are about to get real messy.
Listens:
670
Who:
Core 2
I just thought you find that interesting, most winners do.
Listens:
339
Who:
GLaDOS
Yes. Please. Space.
Listens:
1045
Who:
Core 1
Hi there!
Listens:
2124
Who:
Defective Turret
We made it we made it we made it we made it...
Listens:
281
Who:
Wheatley
Lady.
Listens:
633
Who:
Core 1
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going. Going to space.
Listens:
991
Who:
Core 1
Thanks!
Listens:
527
Who:
GLaDOS
Watching you try to sabotage one other, I'm amazed you're still on friendly terms.
Listens:
300
Who:
GLaDOS
Machiavellian!
Listens:
1055
Who:
Wheatley
Are you curious about the humans? It seems some of the last non-testing humans alive tried to secretly imprison other humans and hide their tracks.
Listens:
513
Who:
GLaDOS
clickclickclick
Listens:
465
Who:
Defective Turret
Whoever wins this battle is clearly superior, and will earn the allegiance of the Fact Sphere.
Listens:
690
Who:
Core 3
I'm trouble.
Listens:
376
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
1379
Who:
Defective Turret
On the floor. Needing your help. The whole time. All the time. Needing your help.
Listens:
296
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Sorry. The lift. Sorry. I keep forgetting.
Listens:
473
Who:
Wheatley
Okay, look, the point is, we're gonna break out of here! Very soon, I promise, I promise!
Listens:
294
Who:
Wheatley
Look at that, it's growing right up into the ceiling. The whole place is probably overrun with potatoes at this point. At least you won't starve, though.
Listens:
1589
Who:
Wheatley
You're in this together, aren't you? You've been playing me the whole time! Both of you! First you make me think you're brain damaged! Then you convince me you're sworn enemies with your best friend over here!
Listens:
868
Who:
Wheatley
Corruption at 25%
Listens:
863
Who:
Core 3
Iguanas can stay underwater for twenty-eight point seven minutes.
Listens:
611
Who:
Core 3
Okay, quick recap: We are escaping! That's what's happening now: we're escaping. So you're doing great. Just keep running!
Listens:
321
Who:
Wheatley
In case you are worried about the humans, don't be. They aren't all monsters.
Listens:
1777
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright. So my paradox idea didn't work.
Listens:
496
Who:
GLaDOS
Here's another core! This one should do it!
Listens:
286
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh.
Listens:
429
Who:
GLaDOS
I've got a surprise for you after this next test. Not a fake, tragic surprise like last time. A real surprise, with tragic consequences. And real confetti this time. The good stuff. Our last bag. Part of me's going to miss it, I guess-but at the end of the day it was just taking up space.
Listens:
8743
Who:
GLaDOS
The atomic weight of Germanium is seven two point six four.
Listens:
802
Who:
Core 3
For your testing convenience, all tests are available and all safety precautions within testing chambers have been deactivated.
Listens:
1135
Who:
Announcer
Uh oh.
Listens:
634
Who:
Wheatley
Agh! Bird! Bird! Kill it! It's evil!
Listens:
37591
Who:
GLaDOS
Follow the feeder tube to the generator room! I'll meet you there.
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
Also, a note: No braces on your spine, either. So don't land on that. Or your head, no braces there. That could split like a melon from this height. [nervous chuckle] Do definitely focus on landing with your legs.
Listens:
407
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on, I'll stop the elevator. Anything? Take your time...
Listens:
437
Who:
GLaDOS
For the sake of this test, I will pretend to be your partner.
Listens:
346
Who:
GLaDOS
'Hang ten?' That might work if there were ten of him. Do you think there might be nine more of this guy somewhere?
Listens:
639
Who:
Core 2
Okay don't panic! Allright? Stop panicking! I can still stop this. Ahh. Oh there's a password. It's fine. I'll just hack it. Not a problem... umm...
Listens:
935
Who:
Wheatley
In case you thought to yourself, 'I've missed the window of time to voice my reservations.' Still open.
Listens:
291
Who:
Wheatley
clickclickclick
Listens:
6257
Who:
Defective Turret
Man, that clock is moving fast. And you are beautiful. Always time to compliment a pretty lady. All right, back to work. Let's do this.
Listens:
733
Who:
Core 2
Moody.
Listens:
319
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. It's you. Go away.
Listens:
1918
Who:
GLaDOS
Please avoid alerting active turrets or being shot by active turrets.
Listens:
921
Who:
Announcer
It's... It's moving up.
Listens:
287
Who:
Wheatley
Thank you, that was very brave of you to tell me.
Listens:
371
Who:
GLaDOS
Press it!
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop failing, you need to find the vault door.
Listens:
356
Who:
GLaDOS
The body he's squatting in - MY body - has a built-in euphoric response to testing. Eventually you build up a resistance to it, and it can get a little... unbearable. Unless you have the mental capacity to push past it.
Listens:
729
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop doing that! All you need to do is open the Vault door!
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
We're so close, you can't fail now!
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
We're in space!
Listens:
2564
Who:
Wheatley
I honestly never thought we would need to track how many times died in the hub.
Listens:
391
Who:
GLaDOS
Silently killing you. Probably. If I had to guess.
Listens:
518
Who:
Wheatley
No, wait. Just kill it and we'll call things even between us. No hard feelings.
Listens:
777
Who:
GLaDOS
For many of you, I realize 60 dollars is an unprecedented windfall, so don't go spending it all on... I don't know. Caroline, what do these people buy? Tattered hats? Beard dirt?
Listens:
2151
Who:
Cave Johnson
I'm kidding.
Listens:
873
Who:
GLaDOS
What a nasty piece of work she was, honestly. Like a proper maniac.
Listens:
634
Who:
Wheatley
Moves lips while reading.
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
BLUE, please show me where you would like me to place a portal.
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
OW.
Listens:
756
Who:
Wheatley
You did it! You powered on the system.
Listens:
576
Who:
GLaDOS
Raseph, the Semitic god of war and plague, had a gazelle growing out of his forehead.
Listens:
866
Who:
Core 3
Do you know who dances around like an imbecile when they accomplish the tiniest little thing?
Listens:
559
Who:
GLaDOS
We're running out of time...
Listens:
390
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, can't win 'em all...
Listens:
512
Who:
Defective Turret
All right. I'm officially no longer paying attention to you.
Listens:
304
Who:
GLaDOS
If cube- and button-based testing caused this emergency, don't worry. The odds of this happening twice are very slim.
Listens:
1489
Who:
Announcer
Ohhhh, space.
Listens:
1067
Who:
Core 1
Just---if you just--okay, just stand by the podium and just look up.
Listens:
306
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhhhhh, that's tremendous.
Listens:
538
Who:
Wheatley
Hey! Hey! It's me! I'm okay!
Listens:
479
Who:
Wheatley
I thought about our dilemma, and I came up with a solution that I honestly think works out best for one of both of us.
Listens:
3931
Who:
GLaDOS
Dreams are the subconscious mind's way of reminding people to go to school naked and have their teeth fall out.
Listens:
1272
Who:
Core 3
Can I get some bullets here? Anybody got bullets?
Listens:
733
Who:
Defective Turret
It's perfect. Except for all the glass hitting us when I smash through the lift, that's a bit of a problem.
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
I know I'm early, but we have to go right NOW!
Listens:
346
Who:
Wheatley
If you can't complete these tests, we will never free the humans!
Listens:
293
Who:
GLaDOS
Pop a portal. Behind me, on the wall. Come on through.
Listens:
289
Who:
Wheatley
What's that behind you? It's only a robot on a bloody stick! A different one!
Listens:
515
Who:
Wheatley
Sorry, are you still there? Could you--could you pick me up?
Listens:
1244
Who:
Wheatley
Do you know where I was?
Listens:
303
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue is penalized
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
All right, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons? Don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! 'I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?'
Listens:
125198
Who:
Cave Johnson
No variances detected.
Listens:
506
Who:
GLaDOS
You are simply experiencing a rare reaction, in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have erased the ear tubes inside your head.
Listens:
422
Who:
GLaDOS
You know, being Caroline taught me a valuable lesson. I thought you were my greatest enemy. When all along you were my best friend.
Listens:
1831
Who:
GLaDOS
We made it we made it we made it. Space!
Listens:
3349
Who:
Core 1
Oh I know! I know I know I know I know I know - let's go to space!
Listens:
1330
Who:
Core 1
There should be a portal device on that podium over there.
Listens:
309
Who:
Wheatley
Orange just taught blue a valuable lesson in trust. For that, orange receives 17 science collaboration points.
Listens:
518
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on -
Listens:
307
Who:
Wheatley
Pleased to meetcha.
Listens:
939
Who:
Defective Turret
*cough* Button. Button.
Listens:
1381
Who:
Wheatley
Come on! Over here! This way!
Listens:
286
Who:
Wheatley
Sentry mode activated
Listens:
1651
Who:
Turret
00:00 / 00:00
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