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Portal 2
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No, wait, wait!
Listens:
584
Who:
Defective Turret
Most test subjects do experience some cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension. Now you've been under for... quite a lot longer, and it's not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage.
Listens:
5289
Who:
Wheatley
Orange, can you write down all the ways you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior?
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
If your confidence is still not high enough remember no one was created perfect.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
I can't decide which is my favorite; the crushers for crushing you or the reassembly machine for putting you back together so you can be crushed again.
Listens:
494
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm different...
Listens:
70273
Who:
Turret
Aggggh!
Listens:
360
Who:
Wheatley
Good. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, look down at the floor. [BUZZER]
Listens:
2122
Who:
Announcer
Nope. Still can't see.
Listens:
777
Who:
Defective Turret
This is not good.
Listens:
394
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
Listens:
808
Who:
Core 3
Alright, can't blame me for trying. Okay... New tests, new tests... there's gotta be some tests around here somewhere.
Listens:
1547
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhhhh, have you got an idea?
Listens:
291
Who:
Wheatley
In 1879, Sandford Fleming first proposed the adoption of worldwide standardized time zones at the Royal Canadian Institute.
Listens:
654
Who:
Core 3
Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I'm sorry.
Listens:
790
Who:
GLaDOS
Hm. Let's try this way.
Listens:
322
Who:
Wheatley
Good news! I can use this equipment to shut down the neurotoxin system. It is, however, password protected. AH! Alarm bells! No. Don't worry. Not a problem for me.
Listens:
573
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah!
Listens:
5515
Who:
GLaDOS
A gallon of water weighs 8.34 pounds
Listens:
726
Who:
Core 3
My fault
Listens:
1300
Who:
Turret
Ha ha! Gotcha right where I want ya!
Listens:
716
Who:
Defective Turret
On three. Ready? One... Two...
Listens:
399
Who:
Wheatley
All right, your funeral. Your beautiful-lady-corpse open casket funeral.
Listens:
776
Who:
Core 2
Okay. What you're doing there is jumping. You just... you just jumped. But nevermind. Say 'Apple'. 'Aaaapple.'
Listens:
3680
Who:
Wheatley
In fact, I devised a much more elaborate trap further ahead, for when you got through this easy one.
Listens:
724
Who:
GLaDOS
Alright, then. Let us see... 'Vital maintenance protocols.' Wow, there are a lot of them. Should have looked into this earlier. Well, let's try this: [reading while typing] DO THEM. [failure buzzer]. Fair enough. Maybe it's a password.
Listens:
2580
Who:
Wheatley
Also: Look at her, you moron. She's not fat.
Listens:
3674
Who:
GLaDOS
Shutting down
Listens:
14043
Who:
Turret
Whatever he does, it isn't important enough for anyone to bother writing it down. For all I know, he doesn't even work here.
Listens:
537
Who:
GLaDOS
We have to get you out of there!
Listens:
323
Who:
Wheatley
That's it. Scan it for me.
Listens:
674
Who:
GLaDOS
Hi there!
Listens:
509
Who:
Defective Turret
Hah! It bloody worked! I hacked it! Hacked. Properly. Properly hacked. Ha ha ha!
Listens:
1283
Who:
Wheatley
Pop a portal on that wall behind me there, and I'll meet you on the other side of the room.
Listens:
337
Who:
Wheatley
Yeah, how ya doin'.
Listens:
832
Who:
Defective Turret
Blue is first to acquire a Portal Device.
Listens:
396
Who:
GLaDOS
Hibernating
Listens:
912
Who:
Turret
Warning: Core overheating. Nuclear meltdown imminent.
Listens:
20112
Who:
Announcer
Test chamber completed. In the interest of - [FADES OUT] [FADES IN] I am now talking to you privately. Do not tell your teammate. Just between you and me? You're doing very well. [FADES BACK IN] One hundred and seven.
Listens:
1446
Who:
GLaDOS
It's still going down! Keep it up!
Listens:
349
Who:
Wheatley
Just, ah... pick me up. Take me with you.
Listens:
314
Who:
Wheatley
SURPRISE! We're doing it NOW!
Listens:
6037
Who:
Wheatley
You are going to die in this room.
Listens:
776
Who:
Core 3
Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit. They are found in Australians.
Listens:
1045
Who:
Core 3
Sir, the testing?
Listens:
2491
Who:
Caroline
I hate you so much.
Listens:
14105
Who:
GLaDOS
The atomic weight of Germanium is seven two point six four.
Listens:
841
Who:
Core 3
Yeah.
Listens:
580
Who:
GLaDOS
Yep. Still blind.
Listens:
844
Who:
Defective Turret
Yes sir, Mister Johnson.
Listens:
1640
Who:
Caroline
While teamwork is needed to complete these tests, I am not sure I trust the two of you together.
Listens:
300
Who:
GLaDOS
I hope you brought something stronger than a portal gun this time.
Listens:
1298
Who:
GLaDOS
Heh heh heh...
Listens:
422
Who:
Defective Turret
If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.
Listens:
1612
Who:
Announcer
Huh. That was easy.
Listens:
349
Who:
Wheatley
Are you alright back there? Here, I'll turn the beam off.
Listens:
707
Who:
Wheatley
Coming through!
Listens:
2073
Who:
Turret
Good. You have a dual portal device. There should be a way back to the testing area up ahead.
Listens:
496
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh no...
Listens:
422
Who:
Wheatley
Help!
Listens:
933
Who:
Turret
Wait, what if this hurts? What if it REALLY hurts? Ohhh, I didn't think of that.
Listens:
2025
Who:
Wheatley
Well... Good. Good. Finally, a nemesis worthy of my vast intellect.
Listens:
774
Who:
Wheatley
We are going to shut down her turret production line, turn off her neurotoxin, and then confront her.
Listens:
322
Who:
Wheatley
Well done. You know, when I woke up and saw the state of the labs, I started to wonder if there was any point to going on. I came THAT close to just giving up and letting you go.
Listens:
411
Who:
GLaDOS
MOVE.
Listens:
527
Who:
Wheatley
I don't hate you
Listens:
13196
Who:
Turret
Okay, I'm gonna lay my cards on the table: I don't wanna do it. I don't want to go in there. Don't... Don't go in there - She's off. She's off! Panic over! She's off. All fine! On we go.
Listens:
608
Who:
Wheatley
It didn't matter to me - I was in it for the science. Him, though...
Listens:
576
Who:
GLaDOS
Aggh! I'm going the wrong way!
Listens:
354
Who:
Wheatley
And here's the best part. There's a conveyor belt that will convey you in convenient comfort right into the masher. You won't have to lift a finger. Everything's been taken care of. Didn't have to. Didn't have to do that.
Listens:
506
Who:
Wheatley
Bring your daughter to work day. That did not end well.
Listens:
674
Who:
Wheatley
Did I hit it? I hit it, didn't I?
Listens:
486
Who:
Defective Turret
Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I'm in space!
Listens:
376629
Who:
Core 1
Well, can't win 'em all...
Listens:
540
Who:
Defective Turret
clickclickclick
Listens:
1140
Who:
Defective Turret
Yes, I know you did that, Blue. Don't look so proud.
Listens:
361
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
1366
Who:
Turret
Pfff. I guess.
Listens:
561
Who:
Core 2
Look how small you are down there! I can barely see you! Very tiny and insignificant!
Listens:
387
Who:
Wheatley
Go on. Walk up to the window. Take a look out.
Listens:
291
Who:
Wheatley
Carry on.
Listens:
307
Who:
Wheatley
Wait. Careful. Let me light this jump for you
Listens:
372
Who:
Wheatley
Hurt me once, shame on me. Hurt me twice...
Listens:
2068
Who:
Defective Turret
Go on. Just... March on through that hole.
Listens:
305
Who:
Wheatley
I can't... I can't do it if you're watching. [nervous laugh]
Listens:
674
Who:
Wheatley
Don't listen to her! It IS true that you don't have the qualifications. But you've got something more important than that. A finger, with which to press that button, so that she won't kill us.
Listens:
1394
Who:
Wheatley
Yes sir, Mr. Johnson
Listens:
9523
Who:
Caroline
China produces the world's second largest crop of soybeans.
Listens:
594
Who:
Core 3
Commence standing by in three. Two. One.
Listens:
393
Who:
GLaDOS
All I wanted to do was make everything better for me! All you had to do was solve a couple hundred simple tests for a few years. And you couldn't even let me have that, could you?
Listens:
766
Who:
Wheatley
You're going to hurt yourself doing that and then I will be ECSTATIC.
Listens:
871
Who:
GLaDOS
The humans accidentally forgot to put a security DVD in the player.
Listens:
375
Who:
GLaDOS
Just say 'Apple'. Classic. Very simple.
Listens:
862
Who:
Wheatley
Hello! This is the part where I kill you.
Listens:
110486
Who:
Wheatley
Uh oh. You're stranded. Let's see if the cube will try to help you escape. Actually, so that we're not here all day, I'll just cut to the chase: It won't. Any feelings you think it has for you are simply byproducts of your sad, empty life.
Listens:
1753
Who:
GLaDOS
And of course nobody tells ME anything. Noooo. Why should they tell me anything?
Listens:
599
Who:
Wheatley
Congratulations, you completed the standard section of this course. Before we can go any further, I will need you to complete one more test outside of the standard testing track.
Listens:
307
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh. Sorry. Could have... sworn you said something.
Listens:
376
Who:
Wheatley
Oh! Wow! Good! I did not think that was going to work.
Listens:
915
Who:
Wheatley
Just stop it already.
Listens:
530
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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