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Portal 2
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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You broke it, didn't you.
Listens:
2601
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m on fire ow.
Listens:
5088
Who:
Turret
Ohhhh, space.
Listens:
1075
Who:
Core 1
Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Space!
Listens:
1308
Who:
Core 1
You have no idea how tiring it is to praise someone for placing an edgeless safety cube into a receptacle designed to exactly fit an edgeless safety cube.
Listens:
637
Who:
GLaDOS
Searching
Listens:
913
Who:
Turret
This is not good.
Listens:
388
Who:
GLaDOS
Before re-entering a relaxation vault at the conclusion of testing, please take a moment to write down the results of your test. An Aperture Science Reintegration Associate will revive you for an interview when society has been rebuilt.
Listens:
1205
Who:
Announcer
Are you scared to save those humans?
Listens:
290
Who:
GLaDOS
I found some bird eggs up here. Just dropped 'em into the door mechanism. Shut it right down. I--AGH!
Listens:
1134
Who:
Wheatley
Now you're just not thinking.
Listens:
418
Who:
GLaDOS
How is this even science, without the possibility of death?
Listens:
645
Who:
GLaDOS
You both need to do something.
Listens:
296
Who:
GLaDOS
Really? Okay.
Listens:
1052
Who:
GLaDOS
Starting now, if I'm honest, to wonder if you're not doing all this screen-breaking on purpose. Beginning to take it personally. You know what I mean? It's like an insult to me.
Listens:
452
Who:
Wheatley
Who ARE you?
Listens:
3612
Who:
Turret
The locking mechanism can tell you aren't humans.
Listens:
364
Who:
GLaDOS
science collaboration points.
Listens:
736
Who:
GLaDOS
That did it! Neurotoxin at zero percent! Yes!
Listens:
365
Who:
Wheatley
Deploying
Listens:
3057
Who:
Turret
The average human male is about sixty percent water. Far as we're concerned, that's a little extravagant. So if you feel a bit dehydrated in this next test, that's normal. We're gonna hit you with some jet engines, and see if we can't get you down to twenty or thirty percent.
Listens:
2046
Who:
Cave Johnson
We're still doing science sir.
Listens:
1940
Who:
Caroline
I thought we could test like we used to. But I'm discovering things about you that I never saw before. We can't ever go back to the way it was.
Listens:
6870
Who:
GLaDOS
Hopeless. Just hopeless.
Listens:
482
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, this is just PERFECT!
Listens:
1373
Who:
Defective Turret
I don't want you to beat yourselves up about this, but the Results Auditor isn't recording your test results. Because you're not human. Which, when you think about it, is technically your fault.
Listens:
707
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello!
Listens:
2814
Who:
Wheatley
Good work! Now throw the ball over the ledge.
Listens:
565
Who:
GLaDOS
So. Boom. Better offer here is just kill yourself. Seems like a lot of effort to walk all the way to my deadly lair, when there's a perfectly serviceable death option right there. Again: not a death trap. Your death would be entirely voluntary. And very much appreciated.
Listens:
1151
Who:
Wheatley
Tell you what, here's a plan. Let's just both... continue contemplating... in absolute silence...
Listens:
332
Who:
Wheatley
Caroline deleted.
Listens:
22233
Who:
Announcer
He will most likely kill you, violently.
Listens:
1041
Who:
Core 3
No no, no no, no no, whoa whoa, no, whoa!
Listens:
875
Who:
Defective Turret
Might want to just pick me up.
Listens:
285
Who:
Wheatley
This is the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center or SinTech.
Listens:
623
Who:
GLaDOS
The Adventure Sphere is a blowhard and a coward.
Listens:
1124
Who:
Core 3
So, once again, just... move along. One small step and everything.
Listens:
309
Who:
Wheatley
Moody.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
2582
Who:
GLaDOS
YEAH! What's happening?
Listens:
478
Who:
Defective Turret
It burns.
Listens:
2859
Who:
Turret
Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center.
Listens:
5335
Who:
Announcer
Hot water freezes quicker than cold water.
Listens:
658
Who:
Core 3
Hello? Friend.
Listens:
29211
Who:
Turret
Look, anyway. I've spoken enough. Take your time. I'll let you think about it. I don't want to pressure you: is it the lair? Is it the masher? You know what my opinion is: Masher. I'm leaning toward masher. Up to you. Just gonna give you some time to think
Listens:
490
Who:
Wheatley
Lucky for you two, while I cannot control the world outside of the testing courses, the reassembly machine can continue with his work.
Listens:
293
Who:
GLaDOS
Run, for goodness sake!
Listens:
397
Who:
Wheatley
Killing you? Is hard.
Listens:
1483
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't think I want to go through that again.
Listens:
349
Who:
GLaDOS
Am I interrupting your important conversation?
Listens:
515
Who:
GLaDOS
There's nothing in space! That's why it's space!
Listens:
5717
Who:
Core 2
So. If you've got any reservations whatsoever about this plan, now would be the time to voice them.
Listens:
365
Who:
Wheatley
Blue, is there something you would like to say?
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
The Fact Sphere is not defective. Its facts are wholly accurate and very interesting.
Listens:
2567
Who:
Core 3
There. If you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own recognizance, I'll be right back.
Listens:
1054
Who:
GLaDOS
If you can get me in front of him, I'll fry every circuit in that little idiot's head.
Listens:
460
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. Plan B. We need humans.
Listens:
716
Who:
GLaDOS
All sealed off years ago, of course.
Listens:
298
Who:
Wheatley
Doesn't bother me. I gotta say, the view's mighty nice from right here.
Listens:
527
Who:
Core 2
Congratulations. I am sure if I had the time to repair these tests, you would have never completed them. So again, congratulations on completing the broken easy tests.
Listens:
500
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, orange isn't a human. The lesson on trust only needs to be taught once. Blue is penalized 1 science collaboration point.
Listens:
352
Who:
GLaDOS
Can you reach that wall back there?
Listens:
288
Who:
Wheatley
Perfect. Now All YOU have to do is capture them for me. Then everything will finally be ba--
Listens:
819
Who:
GLaDOS
One of these times you'll be so fat that you'll jump, and you'll just drop like a stone. Into acid, probably. Like a potato into a deep fat fryer.
Listens:
18521
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember that!
Listens:
1260
Who:
Turret
I'm still here, I'm still working, I haven't forgotten about you!
Listens:
323
Who:
Wheatley
Good morning. You have been in suspension for -FIFTY- days. In compliance with state and federal regulations, all testing candidates in the Aperture Science Extended Relaxation Center must be revived periodically for a mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise.
Listens:
10334
Who:
Announcer
You two are going to LOVE this big surprise. In fact, you might say that you're both going to love it to death. Love it... until it kills you. Until you're dead.
Listens:
3531
Who:
Wheatley
The one you risked your life to get to. So you could escape certain death. No rush.
Listens:
291
Who:
Wheatley
If Orange had said those things about me, Orange would never make it to the next reassembly station.
Listens:
287
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll be honest, I might have heard that one before, though. Sort of cheating.
Listens:
379
Who:
Wheatley
I've got an idea! Do what it says, plug me in!
Listens:
306
Who:
Wheatley
Puppet master! You're a puppet in a play, and I hold all the strings! And cards, still. Cards in one hand, strings in the other. And I'm making you dance like a puppet. Playing cards.
Listens:
2626
Who:
Wheatley
If your confidence is still not high enough remember no one was created perfect.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! Thanks.
Listens:
479
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, shut up!
Listens:
2343
Who:
Core 2
If you ARE there, would you mind... giving me a little bit of help? [nervous laugh] Just picking me up.
Listens:
455
Who:
Wheatley
A nanosecond lasts one billionth of a second.
Listens:
555
Who:
Core 3
Well, let's do some tests and see what happens.
Listens:
538
Who:
GLaDOS
Procrastinator.
Listens:
451
Who:
GLaDOS
If you had underwear? And a butt? I would pull your underwear... right up your butt.
Listens:
26685
Who:
Core 2
No one has ever completed this test before. The humans must have reconfigured it from my original plans.
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
Really, not even humans do that anymore.
Listens:
302
Who:
GLaDOS
There it is.
Listens:
423
Who:
GLaDOS
YEEEHAAAAAW!
Listens:
12428
Who:
Core 1
Get dirty with this robot! This robot owes you money! This robot owes! You! Money!
Listens:
1323
Who:
Core 2
So that's just what I was doing. I was just reading... ah... books. So I'm not a moron.
Listens:
2267
Who:
Wheatley
He will most likely kill you.
Listens:
803
Who:
Core 3
Bad news is we're postponing those tests indefinitely. Good news is we've got a much better test for you: fighting an army of mantis men. Pick up a rifle and follow the yellow line. You'll know when the test starts.
Listens:
18819
Who:
Cave Johnson
I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science.
Listens:
768
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey lady. Lady.
Listens:
1055
Who:
Core 1
Ohh. You're gonna laugh at this. You know how I said there was absolutely no way to get here without going through her lair and her potentially killing us? Could have gone through here. [laughs] My fault. Bit of luck for us that she wasn't switched on.
Listens:
1525
Who:
Wheatley
Shake it off! Shake it off!
Listens:
523
Who:
Core 2
Space. Trial. Puttin' the system on trial. In space. Space system. On trial. Guilty. Of being in space! Going to space jail!
Listens:
35641
Who:
Core 1
It's eating me.
Listens:
554
Who:
GLaDOS
No variances detected.
Listens:
524
Who:
GLaDOS
Go on.
Listens:
359
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on now. I might not have thought this next part COMPLETELY through.
Listens:
339
Who:
Wheatley
It's probably nothing. Keep testing while I look for a way out.
Listens:
310
Who:
GLaDOS
Awwww, come on.
Listens:
1106
Who:
Defective Turret
00:00 / 00:00
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