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Portal 2
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[BUZZER NOISE]
Listens:
22588
Who:
Wheatley
We are?
Listens:
694
Who:
Core 1
This next test involves the Aperture Science Aerial Faith Plate. It was part of an initiative to investigate how well test subjects could solve problems when they were catapulted into space. Results were highly informative: They could not. Good luck!
Listens:
2306
Who:
GLaDOS
Just a heads-up: That coffee we gave you earlier had fluorescent calcium in it so we can track the neuronal activity in your brain. There's a slight chance the calcium could harden and vitrify your frontal lobe. Anyway, don't stress yourself thinking about it. I'm serious. Visualizing the scenario while under stress actually triggers the reaction.
Listens:
4863
Who:
Cave Johnson
Say goodbye, Caroline.
Listens:
5678
Who:
Cave Johnson
It's interesting. You won't regret it. I promise.
Listens:
346
Who:
Wheatley
Did my hint help? It did, didn't it? You know, if any of our supervisors had been immune to neurotoxin, they'd be FURIOUS with us right now.
Listens:
1565
Who:
GLaDOS
This next test may result in your death. If you want to know what that's like, think back to that time you killed me, and substitute yourself for me.
Listens:
729
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you still there?
Listens:
58624
Who:
Turret
Ignores task at hand. Won't for long.
Listens:
511
Who:
GLaDOS
Gonna be in space.
Listens:
850
Who:
Core 1
Hello! This is the part where I kill you.
Listens:
110007
Who:
Wheatley
Space space wanna go to space
Listens:
2307
Who:
Core 1
BLUE, please show me where you would like me to place a portal.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
To do that, the tests were nothing more than 5 minutes of them walking followed by me praising them for another 10 minutes on how well they walked.
Listens:
379
Who:
GLaDOS
Martyr.
Listens:
381
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh... can someone reassemble Orange?
Listens:
297
Who:
GLaDOS
This close and you are going to fail me?
Listens:
336
Who:
GLaDOS
Hold on now. I might not have thought this next part COMPLETELY through.
Listens:
339
Who:
Wheatley
SOLVE IT! Commanding voice...
Listens:
792
Who:
Wheatley
Don't forget!
Listens:
1011
Who:
Turret
Hey.
Listens:
1044
Who:
Core 1
No! I'm not listening! I'm not listening!
Listens:
648
Who:
Wheatley
Just remember to land on one foot...
Listens:
399
Who:
GLaDOS
Now, escape pod... escape pod...
Listens:
366
Who:
Wheatley
Well... I'll be here during the whole next test.
Listens:
307
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh.
Listens:
566
Who:
Defective Turret
If Orange had said those things about me, Orange would never make it to the next reassembly station.
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
Due to events beyond our control, some testing environments may contain flood damage or ongoing tribal warfare resulting from the collapse of civilization.
Listens:
555
Who:
GLaDOS
Thank you - I can't believe I'm thanking these people - for staggering your way through Aperture Science's propulsion gel testing. You've made some real contributions to society for a change, and for that, humanity is grateful.
Listens:
1502
Who:
Cave Johnson
Hurry!
Listens:
323
Who:
Wheatley
Don't be a stranger!
Listens:
407
Who:
Defective Turret
Go on.
Listens:
920
Who:
Wheatley
Powerup initiated.
Listens:
4777
Who:
Announcer
Exactly how painful are we tAGHHHHHH!
Listens:
1271
Who:
Wheatley
What's going on?
Listens:
295
Who:
Wheatley
That's his voice up ahead.
Listens:
328
Who:
GLaDOS
This is art. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, stare at the art. [BUZZER]
Listens:
11945
Who:
Announcer
Hold on! The neurotoxin levels are going down.
Listens:
372
Who:
Wheatley
Ohhh, no. The turbines again. I have to go. Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version.
Listens:
1068
Who:
GLaDOS
You have just passed through an Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill, which vaporizes most Aperture Science equipment that touches it.
Listens:
996
Who:
Announcer
Aggh, see, now I hit that one, I hit that one...
Listens:
319
Who:
Wheatley
Space!
Listens:
1673
Who:
Core 1
No hard fealings
Listens:
1093
Who:
Turret
This time...
Listens:
590
Who:
Defective Turret
Problems with authority.
Listens:
321
Who:
GLaDOS
You can't give up now.
Listens:
305
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm no psychiatrist, but coming from a bunch of eggheads who wouldn't recognize the thrill of danger if it walked up and snapped their little pink bras, that sounds like 'projection'.
Listens:
2084
Who:
Cave Johnson
Go on. Just... March on through that hole.
Listens:
300
Who:
Wheatley
Still. That would have been exciting.
Listens:
306
Who:
GLaDOS
Those of you who volunteered to be injected with praying mantis DNA, I've got some good news and some bad news.
Listens:
5061
Who:
Cave Johnson
You win.
Listens:
1345
Who:
GLaDOS
Had a brainwave. I'm going to tape you solving these, and then watch ten at once-get a more concentrated burst of science. Oh, on a related note: I'm going to need you to solve these ten times as fast.
Listens:
632
Who:
Wheatley
We've had some times, haven't we? Like that time I jumped off my management rail, not sure if I'd die or not when I did, and all you had to do was catch me? Annnd you didn't. Did you? Ohhhh. You remember that? I remember that. I remember that all the time.
Listens:
887
Who:
Wheatley
Hold on. Run back the other way! I'll turn the bridges back on!
Listens:
320
Who:
Wheatley
See that?
Listens:
303
Who:
Wheatley
Lawl
Listens:
89547
Who:
Turret
Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center.
Listens:
9361
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh oh oh ohohohoh oh. Gotta go to space.
Listens:
1113
Who:
Core 1
New template accepted.
Listens:
1424
Who:
Announcer
I’ll just save the safety information about the dangerous experiment you’re about to do for AFTER the experiment.
Listens:
495
Who:
GLaDOS
Heh heh heh heh...
Listens:
507
Who:
Defective Turret
Nicely Done!
Listens:
624
Who:
Wheatley
While it may appear that I am only tracking your accomplishments using science collaboration points, the truth is every aspect of your performance will be reflected in your final score.
Listens:
385
Who:
GLaDOS
You will know it when you find it.
Listens:
288
Who:
GLaDOS
An extra special bonus course that ends with us finding and freeing humans!
Listens:
334
Who:
GLaDOS
Anyone got any bullets?
Listens:
672
Who:
Defective Turret
Using your ping tool, please indicate where you would like me to place your two portals. Ping each location.
Listens:
433
Who:
GLaDOS
The end?
Listens:
1230
Who:
GLaDOS
That's right. Drink it in. You could eat off those wall panels.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
At the end of The Seagull by Anton Chekhov, Konstantin kills himself.
Listens:
589
Who:
Core 3
Well, I did my best.
Listens:
492
Who:
Defective Turret
You had to play bloody cat and mouse, didn't you? While people were trying to work. Yes, well, now we're all going to pay the price. BECAUSE WE'RE ALL GOING TO BLOODY DIE.
Listens:
2467
Who:
Wheatley
Either way, I get the impression he's trying to kill us.
Listens:
472
Who:
GLaDOS
Space space wanna go to space
Listens:
1031
Who:
Core 1
Oh, this ain't good.
Listens:
1089
Who:
Defective Turret
Pop a little portal, just there, alright? Behind me. And come on through.
Listens:
302
Who:
Wheatley
Warning! Neurotoxin pressure has reached dangerously unlethal levels.
Listens:
5372
Who:
Announcer
Agh!
Listens:
329
Who:
Wheatley
Alright, let me explain again. Pop a portal. Behind me. Alright? And come on through.
Listens:
342
Who:
Wheatley
Irritable.
Listens:
299
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, brilliant. You DID find a portal gun! You know what? It just goes to show: people with brain damage are the real heroes in the end aren't they? At the end of the day. Brave.
Listens:
2924
Who:
Wheatley
I know you like to think the reassembly machine is at your beck and call, but he has a life you know. He's not your slave.
Listens:
367
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh those clerks.
Listens:
417
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, hold on now WHOA WHOA WHOA!
Listens:
1627
Who:
Defective Turret
Identify yourself or I will shoot.
Listens:
4209
Who:
Defective Turret
Agh, just... I just gotta get it through here...
Listens:
301
Who:
Wheatley
This is the neurotoxin generator. Bit bigger than I expected. Not going to be able to just, you know, push it over. Have to apply some cleverness.
Listens:
902
Who:
Wheatley
What, exactly, is wrong with being adopted?
Listens:
1296
Who:
GLaDOS
Watch and learn, everyone. Watch and learn.
Listens:
494
Who:
Defective Turret
Always sleeping.
Listens:
552
Who:
GLaDOS
No no, no no, no no, whoa whoa, no, whoa!
Listens:
887
Who:
Defective Turret
Congratulations, you completed the standard section of this course. Before we can go any further, I will need you to complete one more test outside of the standard testing track.
Listens:
305
Who:
GLaDOS
Allright, test's over. You can head on back to your desk.
Listens:
1254
Who:
Cave Johnson
[computer gibberish]
Listens:
7273
Who:
GLaDOS
I’m scared!
Listens:
755
Who:
Turret
Blue, is there something you would like to say?
Listens:
331
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue just taught orange a valuable lesson in trust. For that, blue receives 14 science collaboration points.
Listens:
424
Who:
GLaDOS
For safety.
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
Blue, please disregard the following statement: Orange, you have been a shining light in an otherwise ungodly morass of incompetence.
Listens:
609
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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